Chapter 9

Stella slowly opened her eyes. She was in a state of confusion. She looked around the room at a slow pace. She realized she was in a hospital room; there was no one in the room with her. She sees the IV tube in her arm. She's connected to so many monitors. She wonders why she's in the hospital; she has no memory of anything happening. She wonders if Kelly knows she's in here because it's strange for him not to be with her. She lays her head back against the pillow as she tries to remember what happened. She jerks up and touches her belly. Did something happen to the baby? Her emotions went into overdrive, and she started hyperventilating. Seconds later, Maggie and another nurse came running into the room.

"Stella, I need you to calm down," Maggie said as the other nurse checked her out.

"My. B..ba..my.." She struggled to get the words out. As it became difficult to breathe.

"Calm down; just breathe," Maggie said.

They put the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. "Just relax," Maggie tells her. A few minutes later, "Are you okay now?" she asked, and Stella nodded. "I need you to stay calm."

Maggie removed the oxygen mask. "Maggie, my baby?" Stella asked in a panic. "Is my baby, okay?"

"Don't work yourself up again. Your little girl is fine." Maggie reassured her.

Stella sighed in relief. "Oh, thank God, little girl? It's a girl?" she asked in a surprised, happy tone.

Maggie's eyes widen. "I am so sorry, Stella. I thought you knew."

"I'm having a girl." She said, in an awed tone. She can't wait to tell Kelly.

"Yes, it's a girl," Maggie replied, giving her a little smile.

Stella touched her stomach. "I can't wait to meet you, princess." Maggie watched Stella talk to her unborn child with happiness beaming off her. Stella looked at Maggie. "What happened? Why am I here?"

"You don't remember?"

"No, I remember having a headache earlier and calling Brett, but everything else is a blur." She tells her as she tries to remember anything that could have led her here.

"Your blood pressure was extremely high, and you had a seizure, two of them back-to-back. But Brett and Violet got you here just in time... "

Stella gave her a confused look. "A seizure?" She questioned. "I've never had a seizure in my life. Why would I have one now?"

"A seizure can happen for multiple reasons, and lots of people experience life without seizures, and then one day out of the blue they just have one. Some are because of serious conditions. Some are one-time things; it just depends on what caused them in the first place. Right now, I don't have the answers." Maggie tells her. "Dr. Asher will be able to answer all your questions, I promise. I've seen in my many years of medicine that lots of pregnant women have seizures; they've never had a seizure their entire lives or until they got pregnant. Pregnancy can cause seizures, especially if you have been experiencing high blood pressure issues for a while. How long have you been having blood pressure problems?"

Stella shrugs. "I never had blood pressure issues; they never said anything to me at any of my appointments. The only time anything was mentioned to me about my blood pressure was when I collapsed here a few months ago, and they said my blood pressure was extremely low. But during my follow-up appointment, my doctor said my blood pressure was normal. "

Maggie gave her a puzzled look. "Well, I'm sure Dr. Asher will have all the answers you're looking for."

"When will she be in?"

"Any moment, as soon as she goes over your results."

" Okay," Stella said as she rubbed her belly nervously. "This is my fault." She whispered.

"No, it's not...

"Yes, it is Maggie. I knew something was wrong," she said, interrupting her. "I've been having some signs over the last month, and the past two weeks have been the worst. And I kept ignoring it, thinking it was nothing." She cried.

"What signs?" Maggie asked as she squeezed her hand.

"Blurry vision, headaches, dizziness, nauseousness Trouble breathing, some pain," she said in a low whisper, feeling beyond guilty.

Maggie was shocked. "Why didn't you call your doctor or me? Brett or Violet? Why did you ignore the signs?"

Stella wiped her tears away. "I honestly didn't think it was anything. I looked it up on Google, and it said...

"Stella, never rely on Google," Maggie said in an irritated tone, interrupting her. "Google is not a reliable source; don't ever depend solely on Google. Always talk to your doctor about any symptoms you experience. Don't risk your health or your baby's health over misinformation you read on the internet."

Stella closed her eyes and put her head down. She felt more guilty now. She knows if something happens to her or the baby, it will be her fault. How can she be so stupid? " Maggie "

"Yes."

"Is Kelly here?"

Maggie smiled. "Now, girl, you know that man is here; he's driving the whole nursing staff crazy. He always does when you're in here. Stella opened her eyes and smiled at her. "In fact, your whole firehouse family is here. We've got a lobby full of worried firefighters."

" Really?" she asked in a surprised tone. She's not really surprised; she knows how her firehouse family is.

"On your way to Med, you had a second seizure; you were unresponsive afterward. Brett and Violet were devastated when they brought you in. That whole lobby is full of shattered and broken firefighters waiting for you to wake up."

Stella's eyes widened; she was unresponsive when they brought her in, and she could just imagine what Kelly was going through. "Can you get Kelly for me? He needs to see that I'm okay. Once he knows I'm okay, he will leave the nurses alone." She tells her with a smile.

"Yes, I will," Maggie said as she walked towards the door.

"Maggie, can you let my family know that the baby and I are fine? I don't want them to worry anymore. And tell them positive thoughts only." She knows they are all trying to be positive, but negative thoughts are entering their minds.

"You bet," Maggie said as she walked out of the room.

Stella looked down at her belly. "I'm so sorry; Mama should have known better. I promise I will do anything and everything they want me to do to keep you safe. I love you." She whispered to her belly as she continued to rub it lightly. "Daddy is probably driving himself insane with worry about us. Baby girl, everything is going to be okay. The doctor is going to figure out how to help us and what happened. Nothing is going to happen to you. Mama is staying in a positive vibe bubble. "

A heavy silence dominated the atmosphere of Med's waiting room. All the chairs were full of worried, heartbroken, and anxious firefighters and their wives.

It's been two hours and forty minutes since Stella was brought in. Ritter and Gallo stare into space, both feeling numb. Carver sat alone in the corner, occasionally looking over at Violet, who was holding Brett's hand.

Violet sat there with tons of thoughts running through her mind. Thoughts of what she believed was going on with Stella, thoughts that she was keeping to herself because she didn't want to upset anyone, especially Kelly. He was hurt enough already.

Herrmann and Mouch sat holding Cindy and Trudy's hands. The four of them were silently praying for good news.

Cruz sat with Chloe, holding her closely, as they sent up positive vibes for their friends.

Tony and Capp sat by the window, watching the rain come down. The gloomy weather matched the gloominess of the waiting room.

Brett laid her head on Casey's shoulder as she prayed repeatedly for her friend and her baby. Her tears wouldn't stop falling; she was hoping and praying that she was wrong about the baby's heartbeat. Telling Severide, she didn't hear the heartbeat was soul-crushing. She wants to be wrong so badly.

Casey held Brett's other hand, occasionally squeezing it, letting her know he was there for her. He looked around the waiting room at his family, all with the same sad and hopeful expression on their faces. He sends up all the positive thoughts and vibes he has in him. He looks over at his best friend, who was sitting beside Boden; he has an indescribable expression on his face. Casey has known him for a long time; he has seen him go through every emotion there is, but he's never seen him like this. He's worried and heartbroken for his friend; the couple doesn't deserve this heartbreak.

Boden looks at the clock on the wall and sighs. He knows the doctors and nurses are doing their best. But damn, why is it taking so long? He looks over at Severide, whose tears are still falling, his unreadable expression Is heartbreaking. Just hours ago, the man was excited about buying a house and becoming a father for the first time. Who would have thought that hours later, his entire life was going to change?

"This is ridiculous," Kelly said. "I am going to go see...

"No," Boden said, grabbing his arm. "Severide, you are getting on the nurse's nerves; they are going to end up tossing your behind out of here if you keep it up."

Kelly sighed loudly. "Chief, this is bullshit; it's been almost three hours now and I know nothing."

"I know, waiting on news of a loved one can be a real bitch in here."

"I just need to know she's okay, Chief." His voice is laced with so much fear and dreadfulness.

Boden gave him a sympathetic smile. "I know... " He stopped talking once he saw Maggie walk in.

"Kelly," Maggie said as she walked over to him.

Kelly jumps up. "Maggie, is she okay?" He asked as the rest of the firehouse stood up, all staring at Maggie.

"Okay, before you all hit me with questions because I know you all so well, let me talk first to Kelly." She tells them as she pulls Kelly to the side. "She is awake; she is alert; she doesn't remember what happened, but she is aware of her surroundings."

"And the baby?" He asked in a low, hoarse voice, afraid of her answer.

"The baby is okay."

" Really?"

"Yes, now your wife wants to see you. So how about you go see for yourself that she's okay? And I will fill in the rest of your family."

"Thank you," Kelly said as he walked away.

Maggie took a deep breath before walking back into the waiting room. Hoping she can manage to talk to them without any of them picking up on how worried she is for Stella and the baby.

"How is she?"

"Is she okay?"

"How is the baby?"

"Why did she have a seizure?"

"What happened?"

"Please, is the baby, okay?"

"Did she lose the baby?"

"Stop," Maggie said as she put her hands up. "I will answer all the questions that I can." She paused. "Yes, Stella is okay; she is awake and alert. The baby is fine. I...

"Oh my God, really? The baby is, okay?" Brett said, interrupting Maggie.

"Yes, the baby is okay," Maggie said without making eye contact Violet watched Maggie's eyes and facial expressions.

"That is wonderful," Brett said in a pleased tone.

Maggie gave her a small smile. "Yeah, it is... I don't know why or what caused her to have a seizure. Dr. Asher is running the test and will inform Stella and Kelly once she has answers. Stella told me to tell you all to keep positive thoughts for them. So, no negativity."

"What are you not telling us?" Violet asked, and everyone looked at Violet.

Maggie swallowed hard. "Excuse me?"

"Your facial expressions and eyes are saying more than what your words are saying. There is something else going on we deserve to know."

Everyone looked at Maggie, who was giving Violet a sorrowful look. "I told you what I know: Stella and the baby are okay."

"You're holding something back," Violet spoke in an accusing tone.

Maggie cleared her throat. "Stella asked me to come out here and tell you guys that she and the baby are okay because she knows you guys are worried, and that's what I did." She took a deep breath. "You know, technically, I'm not allowed legally to talk to you guys about Stella's condition. You should be grateful I told you she's okay." She tells them before hurrying out of the room. So, no more questions were asked.

"Viola, what was that?" Gallo asked.

"Violet, that was wrong; Maggie is just doing her job," Brett tells her.

"I know Stella and the baby are not okay; something else is going on. Something serious. I can feel it. I wasn't trying to upset Maggie; that wasn't my intent."

"Maggie just said she and the baby were okay," Ritter said.

Violet rolls her eyes. "I'm good at reading people's body language and facial expressions. I could tell she wasn't telling us everything. Stella and the baby aren't out of danger yet."

"Let's not assume the worst; let the doctors and nurses do their job," Casey said.

"Casey is right; we just need to continue to pray and be positive for Stella, Severide, and the baby." Boden chimed in.

Stella smiled as Kelly walked into the room. "You've got to stop scaring me like this." He jokes as he walks over to the bed.

Even though he's trying to make a joke, Stella picks up on the seriousness of his tone. She knows he's been crying from how red and swollen his eyes are; he looks completely broken. "Come here," she whispered to him. motioning for him to hug her. She knows he needs comfort after what he's been through.

He leans over, and she wraps her arms around him as he cries into her chest. She kisses the top of his head. "I'm okay, Kelly." She whispered as she continued to hold him close. "Our baby is okay."

He pulls back his broken eyes, locking them with hers. "I can't lose you; I won't survive." He cries.

Stella's eyes filled with tears at his confession. "Baby, you're not going to. We are good; your daughter and I are good."

Kelly's eyes widened in surprise. " Daughter?"

Stella cupped his face. "Maggie let it slip; we were having a girl."

Kelly gave her an awe-inspiring look. "We're having a girl?" His tone was majestic.

"We are babe." She tells him as she leans in and kisses him. "We are going to have a little girl."

"And she's going to be just as beautiful as her mom." He says this as he kisses her tenderly.

"Knock knock," Dr. Asher said as she entered the room, seeing the couple kissing. "Sorry to interrupt."

"It's okay," Stella said as the kiss broke.

Kelly kissed her forehead and wiped his eyes. He then stood up straight and took her hand into his, turning his attention to the doctor.

Stella took a deep breath. She can't explain it, but all her positive thoughts went out of the room when she noticed the look in Dr. Asher's eyes. "What is it?" Stella asked.

Dr. Asher gave her a consoling look and a half-smile. "Your high blood pressure is very concerning. You have been here for over three hours now, and instead of your blood pressure lowering as we hope, it's rising, which is not a good thing."

"I've never had an issue with my blood pressure before; why now?"

"Women who have never had high blood pressure before may develop hypertension during pregnancy. When this happens after 20 weeks of pregnancy, it's known as secondary hypertension caused by pregnancy, and it frequently goes away after delivery."

"Will this affect the baby?" Kelly asked.

"If not treated, high blood pressure can be dangerous for the mother and the baby," Stella tells him.

"Yes, Stella is right. While many women with high blood pressure deliver healthy babies, hypertension can affect a mother's kidneys and increase her risk of heart disease, kidney disease, and stroke. Other possible complications include low birth weight. Since high blood pressure can decrease the flow of nutrients to the baby through the placenta, the baby may not grow as expected."

The Stella-positive bubble has officially popped. As she listened to Dr. Asher continued on about what could happen. "Some other conditions are preterm delivery, placental abruption, cesarean delivery, etc."

"Why did she have a seizure?" Kelly questioned.

"High blood pressure left untreated can cause a seizure. I'm still running tests to determine what caused the seizure."

"What can I do to make my odds better, you know, so I can deliver the baby normally without complications?" Stella asked in a concerned voice. Kelly squeezed her hand.

"Well, I had a few ideas to help you, get you on some medicine, and have a relaxed plan, but umm... "

"But what?" Stella asked. Watching Dr. Asher's face.

Dr. Asher sighed and pulled up a stool to the side of Stella's bed. "That was some of my plan, but Maggie filled me in on how you've been feeling the last month, and now I'm highly concerned that something else could be going on with you. And caused you to have a seizure."

Kelly's eyes furrowed in confusion as he listened to their conversation.

"Your headaches, dizziness, blurriness, nausea Trouble breathing, and the pain you were experiencing could all be connected to a much more serious condition. Stella, I need you to be honest with me; I need to know everything you have been feeling so I can get to the bottom of what's going on with you."

Stella thought for a long moment: "The headaches were the worst; I woke up with a headache when going to bed with a headache; I just couldn't get rid of them. I even took Tylenol as my doctor said, but sometimes it didn't work."

Dr. Asher nodded her head; she didn't like the sound of that. "Okay, well, I ran a few more tests; I will be able to determine where we go from there."

"What do you think it is?" Stella asked in a fearful tone.

"Let's not focus on what it could be; for now, let's just think positive, happy thoughts. I don't want to predict anything; I want to know exactly what we are dealing with first."

"Dr. Asher, you are needed in room 112." a young nurse said as she stepped into the room.

"Okay, I'm on my way." Dr. Asher told her as she stood up. "I should be receiving the results of the other test I ran anytime now. Once I get them, I will come back, and the three of us will discuss what the next step will be. But for now, let's just be positive."

" Okay," Stella said. Once Dr. Asher walked out of the room, Kelly let go of Stella's hand and walked over to the window. Stella gave him a startled look. "Kelly, are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" He said it in a bittersweet tone. "No, I'm not." He turned around and looked at her. "You lied to me."

" What?"

"You lied to me. I asked you every day how you were feeling, and you always said you were fine."

"I was fine..."

"Bullshit Stella, having a headache every day, trouble seeing, breathing trouble, and pain is not fine." His tone was furious. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Stella looked down at her belly and said, "I thought it was nothing; I didn't think it was that serious."

He looked at her in disbelief. "Well, you were wrong because look where you are." He yelled. "I can't believe you." He was fuming.

Stella rubbed her belly as her tears fell. "I'm sorry."

He laughed bitterly. "We could lose the baby, and you're sorry, seriously?"

Stella was stunned by his comment, but she knew he was right; if anything happened to the baby, it would be her fault. And he will hate her. She doesn't respond to his comment; she just continues to cry and rub her belly. "I'm so sorry..." She whispered to the baby. The guilt was eating her alive.

Kelly could hear her crying and looked over at her. She was rubbing her belly. Sometimes he's an idiot. Words fall out of his mouth before he can even comprehend his thoughts. "I'm sorry." He said this as he walked back over to her. He sits on the side of the bed. "Stella, I didn't mean what I said," he tells her as he covers her hand with his.

"It's okay; I'm blaming myself too, and you have every right to be upset with me." She said as she looked at her belly, not able to look at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, as he stroked the back of her head.

"I didn't want you to worry." She tells him honestly. looking up at him.

"It's my job to worry about you; you're my world. I don't want you to keep anything from me. We are a team; we battled everything together." He tells her as he wipes her tears away. "I love you, and I love our daughter."

"I love you too." She says it in a loving tone. He rested his forehead against hers.

Dr. Asher slowly walks into the room with Maggie behind her. "Sorry to interrupt you guys again."

Kelly stands, and Stella sits straight up. Kelly noticed the exchange between the two. And Maggie's expression—he's got a dreadful feeling in the pit of his stomach. Stella noticed the look on Maggie's face. Her heart drops to her stomach as she mentally prepares for the blow that she knows they are about to deal them.

"Well, I've got all the tests back now." Dr. Asher said as she sat down on the stool. "The blurriness, headaches, and dizziness all contribute to your high blood pressure. All those symptoms are signs of high blood pressure for everyone. If left untreated, you can have a seizure. Which is what happened to you, Stella; your blood pressure has been high for a while; you just didn't pay close attention to the sign. "

"If I would have come in earlier...

" No." Maggie interrupted her. "Stella, this is not your fault."

"She's right, Stella; this is not your fault; you have a condition known as preeclampsia."

"What is that? And why hasn't her doctor seen this before now?" Kelly asked, completely confused and overwhelmed.

"Preeclampsia is a condition in which a pregnant woman experiences an increase in blood pressure and signs of damage to another organ system." Stella told him, "I read it in one of the baby books."

"That's right, and the reason your doctor hasn't picked up on it yet is because the condition usually develops after 20 weeks of pregnancy and affects the placenta," Maggie said. Stella closed her eyes as Maggie continued. "It's a leading cause of fetal complications."

Kelly's eyes widened. "Fetal complications?"

"It can affect the mother's kidney, liver, and brain. In some cases, preeclampsia can lead to seizures in pregnant women. This severe condition, also called toxemia of pregnancy, can be life-threatening to both the mother and baby. It is characterized by high blood pressure and signs of damage to an organ system." Maggie said as she looked at Dr. Asher.

"Although there is no known cure for preeclampsia, delivery of your baby is often indicated to treat the condition."

"It's too soon to induce my labor; I'm only 20 weeks," Stella said in a panicked tone

"Can a baby survive at 20 weeks?" Kelly asked.

"Babies born after only 20 weeks are so small and fragile that they usually do not survive. Their lungs, hearts, and brains are not ready for them to live outside the womb." Dr. Asher tells them "I'm concerned about your condition worsening and affecting your liver or kidneys. So, my professional opinion and what I'm recommending you do is..." Dr. Asher trailed off. She hated this part of her job.

Stella watched Maggie's eyes tear up and Hannah's eyes glaze over. She knew exactly what they were recommending. "No," Stella whispered, causing the two women and Kelly to look down at her. "I'm not doing it; there has to be another way. Please." She begged, she felt sick to her stomach at the thought of what they were suggesting she should do.

Kelly was confused; hell, he's been confused since the moment Dr. Asher walked into the room for the first time. He looked at Maggie, Hannah, and then his wife, who looked like she was about to pass out; she was pale as a ghost. "Hey baby, are you okay?" He asked. As he touched her forehead. "Stella, you're burning up."

Maggie walked over to her and touched her forehead. "She is hot." She tells Hannah. "I'm going to take her temperature."

" Stella, I understand where you are coming from, and I hate to even recommend such a thing, but your health is my first priority."

"What is going on? What do you recommend?" Kelly asked, as he watched his wife closely, "She looks so fragile.

"Kelly, I feel the best decision for you guys right now is to abort the baby."

" What? Why?" Kelly asked her as he looked down at Stella's stomach. "I don't understand."

"Stella carrying the baby full term is unlikely to happen. She's facing a lot of complications with the delivery. Kidney failure, liver failure, heart failure, and she could hemorrhage in delivery."

Stella closed her eyes as she tried to block out what Hannah was telling Kelly. She couldn't see the heartache in Kelly's eyes. "Hemorrhage in the delivery room, meaning..." Kelly asked in a hoarse voice.

"She can die in the delivery room; her odds are not good," Maggie tells him as she places a cold press on Stella's forehead to help with her fever.

Kelly felt like he was hit by a train. His heart dropped to his stomach. He can't lose her. "Aborting the baby is the only way to save her?''

" In Stella's situation, especially if it gets worse. I believe it's the best option." Dr. Ashe tells him.

"Then we abort it." He replied with a heavy heart.

Stella's eyes snapped open. " No!" she exclaimed, looking at her husband. "We are not aborting our daughter, Kelly." She cried.

Kelly's heart melted at her words our daughter. "Stella, you can die in the delivery room, or you can go into kidney, liver, and heart failure. Are you not listening to what they are saying?"

"I'm aware of the situation, Kelly. But no, I'm not aborting my baby." She said in a forceful tone.

"Damnit, Stella, I can't lose you. I can't. " He tells her as his tears start to fall. He cupped her face. "Baby, I won't survive without you."

Stella's heart breaks at his words. "Kelly, you won't lose me or the baby; everything is going to be fine. I know it is " She tells him in a reassured tone.

"You don't know that; you're not a doctor," Kelly argued with her. He lets go of her face and runs his hand over his head. "You are so freaking hardheaded," he yelled, this can't be happening he thought to himself.

"Yes, I am, and I'm also choosing to be positive, Kelly. Everything is going to be okay; the baby and I will be okay." She told him as she grabbed his hand. "It will be fine, I promise." She tells him, with some much hope in her voice. But her eyes are scared and filled with fear.

Kelly sighed loudly and shook his head. "If continuing this pregnancy means I lose you, then we end it." He tells her in a demanding tone. "I'm not losing you." His face panicked with fear.

Stella looks down at her stomach and takes a deep breath. She looks back up into her husband's panic-stricken eyes. She knows he's scared; she's scared too, but she's willing to deal with the devil if it means she can carry her baby full term. "Kelly, I love you, and you're not going to like or agree with what I'm going to say, but I'm continuing this pregnancy; it's my decision, not yours." She tells him, and she watches his face drop into a wounding expression.

"I don't have a say." He questioned her. She looks away from his glare. "It's my baby too, Stella."

Maggie and Hannah exchange heartfelt looks. "We are going to step out for a bit, so you guys can talk about things and process everything we told you," Hannah said as she and Maggie walked towards the door.

Neither one acknowledged that Maggie and Hannah had left the room. Kelly continued to stare at his wife, who wasn't looking at him. She was rubbing her tummy. "Stella, please think about this...

"I have thought about it, and I'm not aborting my baby."

Kelly swallowed hard. "You're being selfish, Stella; you're not even taking my feelings or concerns into consideration."

Stella looks up at him, her heart breaking at his words. " Kelly, I have a connection with this baby; this baby is part of me. I feel her moving around inside me, and it's the best feeling. She is a human being; she is a person; she deserves to be fought for. And as her mom, I'm going to fight as hard as I can for her," she tells him as she takes his hand and places it on her stomach. "Our daughter deserves a chance at life, Kelly."

Kelly's tears continue to fall as he looks down at his hand on her belly. "I'm not strong enough for this, Stella; I don't want to lose you." He removes his hand from her belly. Not paying attention to the hurt expression on her face. He turns away from her and says, "The odds are against us, Stella."

"I don't give a damn about the odds, Kelly; I'm having this baby." She tells him as her tears fell steadily.

"You are going to risk your life for this baby?" His voice filled with so much emotion.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take, Kelly for our daughter. I wish you would understand where I'm coming from."

"I need some air." He said this as he walked toward the door. He didn't look at her. "Do what you want to do; you always do it anyway." He tells her as he walks out of the room, feeling defeated.

Stella's steady tears became heavier. "Everything is going to be fine, princess; you and I are going to be fine. Daddy's just a little scared right now because he loves us so much. He'll come around... At least Mama hopes so." Stella cried as she stroked her little bump. "We're going to be fine." She repeated over and over, "This is the right decision. I know it is," she whispers to herself as the fear of the unknown sets in.