Boredom can be caused by a number of factors, but the most common is being stuck in a repetitive or monotonous experience. We can notice this almost anywhere, from tedious tasks at work and studying to waiting in line at the supermarket. But in Stella's case, her boredom is because she's been stuck in this hospital bed for four weeks. The past four weeks have passed by as slowly as a turtle walking across the street, if not slower than a turtle.
Stella was going crazy; she knew that being hospitalized was the best solution for her, especially with her preeclampsia and carrying twins. But she was driving herself insane with boredom. She was constantly getting visitors; her firehouse family was there every day, including the days they were on shift. They were always stopping by with books, food, flowers, and puzzles; Capp even brought her an adult coloring book. Which did calm her down a bit. Cindy made sure she got a home-cooked meal instead of the nasty hospital food.
She and Kelly played board games and card games; they put puzzles together; they talked about baby names; and they went online and registered for the babies' items. Kelly practically lives at the hospital with her.
She grabbed the magazine that Brett dropped off last night and started flipping through it. She'd already read it four times, but there was nothing else to do.
"Are you up for a visitor?" The voice said.
Stella looks up from the magazine; her eyes widen, and she smiles. "Of course, I didn't know you were coming."
"Well, it was a last-minute decision." She said this as she hugged her. "I didn't even tell my son."
"He's going to be happy; he went to get my strawberry peanut butter peach smoothie." Jennifer gave her a weird look. "The babies love it." She laughs.
"If you say so," Jennifer replied, smiled, and touched Stella's belly. "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma of twins."
Stella sighs: "I'm still wrapping my head around having twins. I was worried about handling one baby; now I've got two to take care of."
Jennifer squeezed her hand. "You guys are going to rock parenthood; these are some lucky babies."
"Thank you," Stella replied. It meant a lot to hear Jennifer say that.
"So, Kelly was very vague about your situation. I know about the pre-eclampsia, but explain to me about the other baby they didn't see till four weeks ago."
Stella nods. "So basically, at first, Dr. Asher thought it was twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, one of the most common conditions affecting monochorionic twins, identical twins who share one placenta. However, not all monochorionic twin pregnancies with unequal fluid levels or different-sized twins have twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. These characteristics can also be seen in a condition called unequal placental sharing."
"Unequal placental sharing is what you have, right?" Jennifer asked as she rubbed Stella's belly.
" Yes."
"What exactly is that?"
"When two fetuses share one placenta, their umbilical cords may implant anywhere; there is no set or predictable pattern. Depending on where they implant, one twin may get a smaller share of the placenta than the other, resulting in less blood flow and nutrition for one fetus and more for the other. This is called unequal placental sharing." She took a breath. "As a result, the twins may grow differently. The "normal" twin typically has normal or generous, but not excessive, amniotic fluid levels. The smaller twin may have either normal amniotic fluid volume or if its growth becomes progressively restricted, can develop low fluid levels, called oligohydramnios."
"Can the baby survive oligohydramnios?"
"According to Dr. Asher, yes, the baby will likely be born healthy and happy. Low amniotic fluid can be serious, but in most cases, it's highly treatable."
"So why the full-term bed rests?"
"Well, with my condition and with me carrying twins, Dr. Asher wanted me to be fully monitored. Bed rest helps decrease stress. Reduces pressure on my cervix. may help the placenta work better at transporting nutrients and oxygen to the fetus. And help reduce blood pressure, which, on a good note, is lower. In the last two weeks, it has improved better than Dr. Asher thought it would. So, all the medication they have me on is apparently working. "
Jennifer smiled. "That's wonderful, sweetheart. The babies are doing well too."
"They do an ultrasound every day, sometimes several times a day. The baby up front is doing really well. Dr. Asher is concerned about the baby in the back; it doesn't move as much as the one up front. But they both have a good heartbeat, so that's a plus."
"I think everything is going to work out for you and my grandbabies."
Stella smiles. "I'm trying to stay positive for Kelly and me. I know he's still having his doubts, and finding out about the twins, I think, scared him more. But he's pretending like he's okay with it." She laughs. "I think he forgets sometimes how well I know him."
Jennifer laughs. "That sounds like him; it's a mixture of excitement and worry. He was so excited when you first got pregnant and couldn't wait to be a father. When he called and told me he used the money he got from selling his dad's house years ago to buy his family a house, he was so happy and...
Stella's eyes widen. "Wait... He brought a house?" She questioned cutting her off.
Jennifer bit her lip; she thought Kelly had told her already. Lord, she has a big mouth; he is going to be upset with her. "I thought you knew Stella. Sweetheart, I'm so sorry." She tells her as Stella continues to look at her. She then wonders why Kelly hasn't told her; he signed the paperwork over a month ago.
"No, I didn't know," Stella told her as she wondered why he didn't tell her.
" Mom!" Kelly's voice broke the awkward silence. "What are you doing here?" Kelly said as he hugged her.
"I wanted to surprise my son and daughter-in-law and check on my grandbabies." She told him as they continued to hug. Stella smiled as she watched them hug.
"Here's your smoothie, babe," Kelly said as he handed her the smoothie and kissed the top of her head.
"Thank you." She tells him without looking at him.
Kelly eyed her for a moment. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah!" She replied, looking at her smoothie.
"Are you having any pain?"
"Nope!"
"Do you need anything?"
"Nope!"
He looks at his mom, who was looking down at the floor. He looks back at his wife; something is going on. Stella wasn't looking at him, and giving him one-word responses. "What's going on?"
"Nothing?"
Jennifer sighs; she knows Stella is upset over finding out about the house.
"Time for therapy," Maggie said as she walked into the room with a wheelchair.
"Therapy?" Jennifer asked in confusion.
Kelly picked Stella up and placed her in the wheelchair. "It's group therapy; I talk to other pregnant women who have what I have or who have been through what I'm going through. It gives me a chance to ask lots of questions that I have." She paused as Kelly combed her hair. "It's helped me a lot, listening and talking to others who are experiencing what I'm experiencing."
"That's awesome. How long is therapy?"
"It's around two hours, sometimes longer if we all want to continue talking," Stella told her. "Oh, Maggie, this is Jennifer Kelly's mom."
"And mom, this is the amazing woman who has been taking wonderful care of Stella for the past month." Kelly said, causing Maggie to blush.
"I'm just doing my job," Maggie said as she shook Jennifer's hand. "Nice to meet you."
"You too," Jennifer replied. "I will see you when you get back."
Kelly kissed the top of Stella's head, but she still wasn't looking at him. He watches as Maggie pushes her out of the room.
"It's my fault," Jennifer admitted once they were out of the room.
"What is?"
"I kind of let it slip about the house you brought."
Kelly's eyes widened. "Mom! Why would you do that?" He questioned her as he sat down on the side of the bed. No wonder she wasn't acting right.
" Kelly, I swear it just slipped out while we were talking. I thought she would know by now. Why doesn't she know?"
Kelly sighed. "I haven't told her because..." He trailed off.
Jennifer watched him for a moment. "Because you're scared..." She walked over to him and sat down beside him. "You're scared that she's never leaving this hospital."
His eyes tear up. "I'm scared to death, mom. I'm trying to be positive and supportive and not let Stella see how worried I truly am."
"I hate to break it to you, son." She said this as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "But she knows; she told me."
"She did?"
"That woman knows you better than anyone else; she can tell you're struggling with everything. But knows you are trying to stay positive for her."
Kelly closed his eyes. "It's hard to stay positive; I want to be as positive as Stella, I do, and I want to believe that Brett is right that Stella is the percentage that will be the odds. I want to believe that our story has a happy ending. And I want to believe that we will receive a miracle. Everyone keeps saying to pray, be positive, and think happy thoughts. Stella is in this positive vibe bubble and talking about positive energy. I'm happy that she is so positive; I really am. But..."
"I know, son."
"I have these five scenarios that replay in my mind every day. I can't seem to shake them."
"Tell me about them."
He sighed. "The first one is the one I hope and pray actually happens. Stella goes into labor, and she and the babies are safe; there are no complications. We get to leave the hospital, the four of us happy and healthy, and start living our new life and our new house. "
Jennifer smiled. "That's my favorite to, let's pray for that one."
He smiles at her. "I've prayed more this past month than I've ever done in my entire life, Mom."
"I believe God is listening to us."
"I hope so." He looked down at his wedding band. "The other scenarios aren't too happy."
"Talking about it might help you," Jennifer suggested.
"I have not told anyone about them."
"You can tell me; I want to know exactly what's going on inside your mind." She tells him as she rubs his back.
"The second one, Stella, goes into labor, and we lose both babies." He stares at the floor as he talks. "Stella is completely broken, and I don't know how to fix her." He paused for a moment. "The third one, Stella, goes into labor, and she is okay, as is one of the babies, but we lost the other one." He wipes away his tears.
Jennifer pulls him to her, and he lays his head on her shoulder. "The first one is still my favorite." She tells him as she kisses the top of his head.
"The fourth one... Keeps me up at night. Stella goes into labor, there are complications, and I lose her. Both babies survive, but I lose my wife."
Jennifer hugs him tightly. "I don't like that one." She whispered as she wiped her tears away.
He took a deep breath. "The last one is my worst nightmare. The one I believe is going to happen." He struggles to find the words; he's never said what he's about to say out loud before. "Stella goes into labor, and the complications are so bad that... He cries... "I lose them all..." His voice is shaking.
Jennifer was completely heartbroken by her son's words. She hugs him tighter, and he cries into her chest. She prays for strength to help her son through this as she fights back her tears.
Maggie gave Stella's shoulder a little squeeze before leaving the room.
"Good afternoon, everyone." Melissa said to the ten women in the group: "We have a new member joining us today who would like to talk about her recent delivery."
Everyone looked at the middle-aged, blonde-haired woman. "Hey everyone, my name is Pam."
Everyone said together, "Hi Pam!"
Pam looked down at the floor and took a deep breath. "So, I was about twenty weeks when I was told I had preeclampsia, severe preeclampsia."
Stella's eyes widen; everyone she has met so far has not had severe preeclampsia as she does.
"I was admitted to the hospital for a reminder of my pregnancy. And it sucked." She laughed. " I hated not being able to move or do anything. The highlight of my day was the nurse wheeling me outside for ten to twenty minutes just to breathe in some fresh air. I hated being watched every minute of every day. I couldn't go to the bathroom without help or take a shower."
Stella nods; she knows exactly how Pam felt. She hates that Kelly or a nurse has to help her walk to the bathroom or stand in the bathroom when she takes a shower. She missed doing things herself.
"I was lucky enough to have a supportive nurse and doctor. My husband occasionally visited."
Stella's eyes furrowed up. "Your husband didn't stay with you while you were going through everything?" Stella asked; she knows it was not her business, but it bothered her that Pam didn't have the support of her husband.
Pam gave Stella a surprised look. "He was there when he could, but he had a job and was taking care of other stuff. So, he visited when he could."
"When he could, it sounded like he wasn't there that much," another woman commented.
"No, he wasn't; he was there maybe twice a week for an hour or so. He didn't know what was going on with me most of the time. I guess you could say that's what happened to our marriage."
"What do you mean?" Stella asked.
"We are going through a divorce now," Pam told them. "I asked him for one thing, and he didn't listen to me. So, our marriage fell apart."
"What did you ask him?" Stella was very curious about what went wrong in their marriage.
"Well, you know any case of pre-eclampsia is serious, but severe pre-eclampsia is the worst, especially if you had a seizure. Are any of you going through severe pre-eclampsia?" She asked the four pregnant women in the group.
"I am, and I've had two seizures about a month ago," Stella tells her.
Pam swallowed hard and gave her a sympathetic smile. "Do you have a good support team?"
Stella smiled. "I do; my doctor and nurse team are great. And my family and friends are wonderfully supportive. And I have the most amazing, loving, supportive, and thoughtful husband. I would be completely lost without him."
"That's great! Appreciate them through this challenging time. Make sure to keep them close, and lean on them on your good days and bad days."
"I will," Stella replied. She felt bad that this woman didn't have anyone.
"I was twenty-six weeks pregnant when I had a grand mal seizure. I lost consciousness. The seizure brought on my labor, and I hemorrhaged during delivery. And there were more complications for the baby. Things got so bad that..." She paused. As she wipes her tears.
Stella bit her bottom lip as she fought back her tears.
"Sorry. I'm still really emotional, even seven months later." Pam said as she closed her eyes to prepare herself to finish her story.
"Take your time."
"We completely understand."
A few minutes later. "It's never going to be easy to tell this story. As I was saying, there were some complications, and it got to the point where a decision had to be made. The doctors asked my husband, should they save the baby or me?" Her voice was breaking from all the crying.
Stella's heart broke for this poor woman.
"My husband... Didn't listen to me or respect my wishes. He told the doctor to save me and let the baby die.
"You told him to save the baby, not you," Stella asked her.
"Yeah, but he was selfish."
"Why was he selfish?"
"He said he couldn't raise a baby without me, so it was best to let the baby die. I didn't look at or talk to him for weeks afterward. He was more concerned about being a single father and missing work. His job was more important than his child."
The room went silent for a long time. "The first time we talked, it led to a huge disagreement, and we just fell apart. I filed for divorce about two months ago; a twelve-year marriage was just going down the drain. I thought he would fight me over the divorce, you know, saying he can't live without me and he loves me. But he didn't. He agreed to it and moved out two weeks later. We don't talk anymore; our lawyers do the talking for us."
Stella's mind went into overdrive listening to Pam's heartbreaking story. She rubbed her belly as the what-ifs filled her mind. She realized she needed to get her affairs in order, just in case. Make sure Kelly knows her wishes, and hope he listens to her.
After therapy, Maggie took Stella back to her room. "Kelly took his mom back to your apartment; he said to call him if you need or want anything."
Stella nods. "I'm pretty lucky to have him, huh?"
"Yes, you are," Maggie tells her. "Oh, and Casey and Brett are in your room waiting on you."
"Good," she said as Maggie rolled her into her room. " Hey!"
"Hey, beautiful," Brett said as she hugged her and kissed her cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"Pretty good."
"I will be back in twenty minutes to do our daily exercise," Maggie told her. As Casey lifted her and placed her back on the bed.
"I'll be here."
"Are you good? Do you need anything?" Casey asked as he covered her up.
"I'm good, and yes, I do need something."
"What do you need?" Casey asked.
Stella took a deep breath as she looked back and forth between the two. "We three need to talk."
"Talk about what?" Casey said.
Brett gave her a confused look. "What I say stays between the three of us. Promise me."
"We promise," Casey said, giving her an uneasy look.
"Brett, I need you to promise too."
"I promise."
Stella rubbed her belly and prepared herself for what she wanted to tell them. Listening to Pam just now, Stella is thinking about the delivery and the what-ifs of the delivery. It's time she let people know what she's been thinking this past month. And she needed to tell them before Kelly came back because this is a conversation Kelly wouldn't like.
"Stella, are you okay?" Brett asked after a few minutes of silence.
Stella smiled at her. "Yes, Listen, I've been doing some thinking about the future; you know the what-ifs. Kelly and I want you two to be the babies' Godparents."
" Seriously?" Brett asked in a happy tone.
"Yes, you two are perfect. I know you will protect and love my babies like they are your own."
Casey squeezed her hand. "Yes, we will. It will be an honor."
Brett watches the tears in Stella's eyes and starts to get a bad vibe. She doesn't like where she thinks this conversation is going. "No, no, don't do this, Stella."
Casey looks at Brett clearly, not understanding what is going on. Stella gives her a small frown. "Brett, please understand why I have to do this."
" No!" Brett started crying. "I don't want to talk about this."
"About what?" Casey was so confused.
" I don't want to either Brett, but it's the reality I'm facing," Stella said it in an irritated tone.
"You are going to beat this, Stella; remember we are staying in a happy, positive bubble. We said no negativity." Brett cried.
Casey started to piece everything together. Stella... was all he could say as his tears filled his eyes.
Stella closed her eyes. "Please listen to me; I need to say this; I need you two to hear this." She opened her eyes. "Casey, I need you to hear me out as my friend and Kelly's Best friend. Brett, you are my best friend. Please listen and respect what I want. I need to know that you two hear me and understand me."
Brett looked down at the floor and said, "Stella, whatever you want, we will make sure it happens. I promise." Casey said as he wrapped his arms around a shaking Brett.
Stella gave him an appreciative smile. "Look, I'm not giving up; I'm still very positive that the babies and I will be fine. But I just met someone who has the same condition as me, and she lost her baby and her marriage. So, I want to make sure my close friends have my back. "
Brett looks at her. "You know we do."
"Good, I've been thinking about the what-ifs for a while. I wanted to talk to you guys but kept thinking I had time. The woman I met went into labor at 26 weeks; I'm 24 weeks, and I could go into labor anytime. So, I need to go into this delivery knowing my wishes will be granted. " She paused and played with her wedding ring. "There are a lot of things that could happen when I go into labor, and I need you guys to promise that if I... She starts to cry. "If I don't make it, please take care of my babies and Kelly. Kelly is going to need you guys; he's not going to be able to raise the babies on his own. He's going to need a great support system. He's going to be completely lost without me and probably mad at the world for a while. So, I need you guys to promise to have his back, to keep him going when he wants to give up and to remind him how proud I am of him. "
The room went silent as the three let her words soak in. "We promise Stella, Kelly, and your babies won't be alone," Brett said as she hugged her.
"We've got Kelly's back; he and those babies will know how much their mother loved them every day," Casey said as he hugged her.
Stella closed her eyes, relieved that she was able to get that off her chest. But she was more worried about her next conversation, the one she needed to have with her husband.
"Brett, can you ask Ritter to stop by tomorrow?"
"Sure."
"I want to make a memory video, just in case I don't get to meet my babies," Stella said it in a low whisper.
"I think that's a wonderful idea," Brett tells her to rub her belly. "So, I've got you something you could work on while you're stuck in here."
"What is it?"
Brett handles her bag. "I got two baby books, and I went to the craft store and got a whole lot of craft stuff to decorate the books, I knew we didn't know what the second baby's gender was yet, but we could still decorate it."
"I love it," Stella tells her as she flips the book. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Well, we are going to go so you can do your excessive," Casey tells her as he kisses her forehead.
"We will see you tomorrow," Brett tells her as she hugs her.
After her exercise time, Stella took a little nap and woke up hungry. "Good nap," Kelly said as he walked into the room.
"Of course." She smiled at him.
"I've got you some pasta salad and bread sticks." He tells her as he gets the food out and starts to put it on the tray.
"You must have read my mind." She joked as she watched him. "Where's your mom?"
" She is at the loft taking a little nap, she said she'll stop over later."
Stella nodded. "Come here." He looks over at her. "Just for a second, I need you."
"Are you okay?" He asked her as he walked over to her. She looks like she's about to get out of bed. "What are you doing?"
"I just want to sit on the side of the bed for a moment." She grabs his hands and pulls him to her. "I love you." She speaks in an affectionate voice. She wraps her arms around his waist.
He looks down at her. "I love you more." He tells her as they share a gentle kiss.
"Thank you." She tells him.
"For what?"
"For loving me despite my flaws. Being with you is what I call happiness. You're that part of me I'll always need. Thank you for coming into my life. for making me laugh, for making me smile, for pushing me but not letting me fall... Thank you for being you. And most of all, thank you for supporting my decision during this challenging journey. Even though I know you are scared and pretending to be positive for me."
He cuddles her face and lets his thumbs wipe away her tears. "I'm so scared, baby, but I'm not letting my fear keep me away. I will continue to be here for you and our babies. I'm lucky to have someone who continuously makes me a better person. Thank you because you've played a big part in my growth as a person. I wouldn't be the man I am today if it wasn't for your unconditional love."
Stella leans her head into his chest as she tightens her grip on him. "Kelly, I am so positive that we will get our happy ending, you, our babies, and me."
"Me too, baby, me too." He tells her this as he kisses the top of her head.
"I need you to listen to me, really listen. And make me a promise."
Kelly pulled back to look into her eyes; her brown eyes looked so sad and heartbreaking. "What promise?"
She took a deep breath. "When I go into labor and if there are complications...
"No!" He exclaimed.
" Kelly..."
"Nope, we are not having this conversation." He said pulling away from her. " I can't do this..."
"Kelly, please hear me out..." She begged him as her tears fell more steadily. "I don't want to leave you, Kelly, but we both know how unfair life is sometimes. And we need to be prepared for the what-ifs."
Kelly walked over to the window. "I don't want to hear it. I can't hear it. " He cried.
Stella closed her eyes. She knew he wasn't going to listen to her. "Fine. I'm too tired to fight with you." She said this as she moved to get back in bed. She figured she would just talk to Dr. Asher about what she wanted. "I don't want to get too worked up and have my blood pressure get high again."
He looked back at her, surprised that she gave up so quickly. "What brought this on?" He asked. She's been so positive about everything, and now she wants to talk about the what-ifs.
"I met this woman today in therapy; she went through exactly what I'm going through. She lost her baby. And she is going through a divorce now because her husband didn't listen to her wishes."
Kelly walks back over to her. "That's awful," he said, as he wondered what her wishes were.
"Yeah, it is... So, it got me thinking about my labor. Kelly, she was only 26 weeks when she went into labor. I'm 24 and I just want to make sure you know my wishes." She paused. " I'm scared Kelly, I'm scared I'm going to miss out on my life with you and our babies." She cries, " But I want to stay positive, but the negative stuff gets in my mind sometimes."
He grabbed her hand. "Me too baby." He rubs her belly with his other hand.
"I'm not giving up; I will fight this battle with everything I have. I promise you because I'm not ready to leave you."
Kelly kissed her forehead as his tears ran down his face. "I'm not ready to lose you." He swallowed hard. He knew he had to be strong for her and listen to her wishes. "What are your wishes if... You know..." He couldn't say the words.
She looked up at him. "Really? You want to know."
"Yeah, I do." He tells her this as he caresses her face. He honestly doesn't want to have this conversation, but he knows he can't work her up or stress her out. So what she wants is for him to listen to her, and that's what he's going to do.
Stella smiled. "Now remember, I'm not giving up; this is just in case because life is so unpredictable." She paused. "When I go into labor, if something happens in the delivery room and there are complications and I'm unable to speak for myself, they come to you and give you the choice."
Kelly looked at her confusedly. "The choice?"
"If something happens and they can only save the babies or me, and you have to decide which one." Kelly felt his heart stop; he knew what she was about to say.
"I want you to let me go." She whispered in a low hoarse tone "Save our babies for me."
But he heard her. He wished he didn't, but he did. He closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say. "Is that really what you want?" He asked, his eyes still closed.
Stella touched his cheek. "Yes, it is." She tells him in the most honest tone.
He opens his eyes, and her heart breaks at the sadness invading his ocean-blue eyes. "If that's what you want, I'll do it."
Stella's eyes widen. " Really? You would do that for me." She was surprised by his answer.
"I'll do anything for you." He replied in a sincere, heartbroken tone. "But I know I won't have to make that decision. I'm choosing right now to be more positive than I've ever been. You, me, and our babies are going to be in a positive vibe bubble. I know you are going to beat the odds because you are a fighter, and our babies are fighters. We are going to be okay; we are going to raise our kids together in the beautiful house I got us, and we are going to spoil our grandkids. I know it."
Stella smiled wildly. "That sounds perfect." She tells him.
"It will be perfect, I promise." He tells her before he kisses her softly.
Neither one knew what was going to happen next, but they chose to be happy and positive in this moment.