A knock on the door startles her enough to cause her phone to slip out of her hand and land on her face. Shit hurts. She's lying back on her couch, the sound of the news loud on the television even though she isn't paying attention to it, instead choosing to lay down with her hands above her head, typing a message to Jay, verifying her order because for a 36-week pregnant woman, the last thing he wants is to drop by with the wrong food. She has cravings, diehard cravings, that need to be sated unless everyone wants to deal with a cranky Erin. No one wants a cranky and hormonal Erin Lindsay Voight except for the person knocking on her door apparently, "Hold on a minute," she shouts as her hand falls to the side of the couch, running against the floor in search of her fallen phone because after it hit her face it slid off and landed on the floor. That's just her luck. She finds it and tosses it onto the coffee table
Erin grabs the remote to her television, muting it before sitting up on the couch. It's not so easy for her to get up and down, this big, protruding belly of hers is an obstacle course that she's forced to take on every single day for the last however many months it has been since it's been so pronounced and defined. She can't keep up. Her pregnancy has gone by so fast yet so slow, how that happened at the same time, she doesn't know. Another knock, which sounds like the person is pounding their opened hand to the door has her frustrated, "I said hold on a fucking minute," she grumbles because their lack of patience is riling her up. She doesn't move as fast and even if she did, she isn't expecting company and she doesn't want it right now either.
Not until Jay arrives with her food and since no key was used in her door to open it, she knows it's not him.
She waddles -because that's apparently what she does now as Kim likes to remind her- to the door and doesn't even bother to look through the peephole because she's so angry that she practically rips the door off the hinges when she opens it. A part, a large one, kind of wishes she had Milo here, but Kim wanted to keep him for the night because apparently, she's binging horror movies and doesn't feel safe sleeping alone but whatever. She wishes she had Milo here, he'd listen if Erin were to command him to attack and based on how Abby is glaring at her, she might have needed him to do just that, "I'm only going to say this once," her shoulder bumps into Erin's when she walks into the apartment; Erin says nothing, she simply grabs onto the door to hold herself up since her sense of balance has been a bit off these last few weeks, "please, stay away from him."
"I am so confused right now. Stay away from him? Who?"
"Jay Halstead," she states robotically; there's no expression on her face, "you know, the guy that you slept with and got pregnant by, the one that you keep using your baby as an excuse to see, the one that's apparently at your beck and call every time you need something. I'm coming to you, woman to woman, and I'm asking you nicely to please stay away from my boyfriend."
Erin leans against the side of the opened door, brow quirking, "…and what if I say no?" She knows she shouldn't push her buttons but she really doesn't like this woman and if there was ever a possibility of the two of them being cordial then that ended the day Abby told her father about the baby's paternity. Erin could manage to hold a grudge.
"I wasn't putting it in the form of a question."
She walked away from her door, leaving it open because she expects Abby to walk out of it soon, "…and how, might I ask, do you expect me to stay away from your boyfriend when we're having a baby together, huh, Abby? Enlighten me please."
Abby rolls her eyes, she hates that tone but she chooses to be the bigger person -at least in her eyes- and ignore it, "First of all, you're not having a baby together. You," she points at Erin, "are having a baby and he just so happens to be the father of it, and second," Abby grips her hips and uses the two inch height advantage she has on Erin to her benefit, straightening her shoulders, trying to intimidate her, but unsuccessfully pulling it off, "you don't need to call him for every little thing that you need. He's not your boyfriend. He doesn't owe you food or to put together your nursery or fix things or go shopping with you or whatever the hell else you have him doing," Erin bites her lip, smugly smiling because if only Abby had known that it was Jay who offered to do all of those things for and with her, but Erin stays silent, wanting this conversation to end as soon as possible, "I can't stop him from being a part of the kid's life. I've already tried so I know he'll be there for the birth but that should be it. When the kid is here, meet somewhere, swap it and then part ways until it's time to meet and swap the kid off again."
Erin's head fell back and she released a loud laugh, "Wow," she lifts her head and looks back at Abby, "you couldn't sound more unattached if you actually tried. I wouldn't be completely opposed to that idea but and this is a huge but because it's the reason why that idea is entirely off the table, I don't want my baby anywhere near you and since you live with Jay," she pauses, allowing for Abby to connect the dots, "do you see where I'm going with this? If my baby stays at his place then that means I have to subject my girl to you. That wouldn't make me a good mother, now would it?" Erin shrugs her shoulders, "I'm an adult. Jay's an adult. He doesn't need you fighting his imaginary battles and if Jay has a problem with anything, I'm pretty sure he'll say something to me about it. It hasn't stopped him before so I don't see why it would stop him now."
"I know him better than he knows himself," Abby looks into Erin's eyes but it's obvious that she isn't believed, "I know him way more than you will ever know him."
"If believing that helps you sleep at night then please don't stop on my account."
Abby opens her mouth, ready to argue back but Erin starts walking away from the door and further into her apartment, "I'm overheating, it seems to happen in the late stages of pregnancy and it doesn't help that it's summertime," Erin informs her as if Abby should care, she grabs her phone off the table, checking Jay's message and smiling knowing that he just got to the diner to pick up her food which means she has just enough time to take a quick shower and wash away the sweat her body has accumulated over the last few minutes, "Oh," she looks up when Abby clears her throat, "I thought by changing the subject you would get the hint to leave. I don't want to argue with you anymore Abby, my patience has been thin. Maybe we can postpone the rest of your lecture, at least until after my baby is born?" Erin's face is directed towards her phone screen but her eyes are peering up to meet the woman's peeved expression, "I need a shower. So that's your cue to leave my home," Erin grips her phone in her hand and starts to walk off, "you've made your way in so I'm pretty sure you're smart enough to find your way out."
Erin doesn't bother to wait. She simply walks into her bathroom, sets her phone to an upbeat playlist and then sets it onto the counter. Just as she turns the shower on, feeling the stream of water until it's the right temperature, she hears the door shut. Sighing in relief that Abby's gone, she begins stripping out of her clothes before grabbing onto the handle in her tub and carefully stepping inside. Now that her sense of gravity is off and she's labelled herself as clumsy, she has to be extra cautious when moving because the last thing she needs in her current state is to fall. So, with that worry always on the forefront of her mind, she steps onto the adhesive mat that's supposed to take away the slipperiness when showering and moves under the stream of water.
She loses herself in washing her hair, in scrubbing her body with soap and in singing softly to the music that's blaring out of her cell phone so she doesn't hear any movement outside. She doesn't know that Abby is moving around her living room or that her phone vibrated and Abby glanced down to look at the message that flashed across the screen of her iPad since her messages are linked to both devices. Jay is on his way, and she smiles because that gives her even more reason to snoop, that gives her all the justification in the world to step into the linen closet filled with shelves that are occupied with bath and hand towels and washcloths on the bottom, sheets in the middle and blankets and extra pillows on the top. It's organized and because everything is so perfectly placed Abby doesn't need to move anything to scope it out, she doesn't even need to move anything to step inside and crack the door.
By the time Jay arrives, Erin is blow drying her hair. She's still listening to music, staring at her reflection as she dries and combs through her brunette locks. Jay walks further inside and Abby sees him, sucking in a gasp of air because he looks so good right now, he must have showered and changed because that's not what he was wearing when he left out the apartment this morning, "Erin," he calls out, walking over to grab the remote to cut off the television, "Er," he shouts out again and she doesn't bother answering, she simply walks into the room barefoot.
"You're my favorite person ever," Erin reaches for the bag of food, opening the greasy, brown paper bag and grabbing a fry, "This is so good," she moans at the taste.
"You said I'm your favorite person ever," he grins and she's not positive where he's going with this but she knows that he'll eventually get to his point, "just wait until I tell her that when she's old enough to understand that I," he points at himself, "am mommy's favorite person ever!"
Erin throws her head back; she laughs and Jay smiles so hard that it makes Abby uncomfortable while watching in the closet. He's looking at her, really looking at her, watching as the dimples pressed into her cheeks, white, pearly teeth gleaming bright as her laugh plays such a melodic sound in the otherwise quiet apartment. He's happy he can bring that kind of smile to her face, that kind of happiness to her expression especially after such an eventful nine months, she deserved to smile as much and as long as possible. That smile was one of her best features.
"I can never get enough of your smile," he admits. But she already knows this. He always brightens up when she's in a good mood, "it's beautiful."
She cautiously, as if expecting him to back away, moves closer and wraps her arms around him, embracing him in a hug, "Thank you," she whispers while her head rests against his shoulder, "for the food and for the compliment."
"You don't have to thank me, Erin, not for either one of those things." He doesn't drop his arms from around her and neither does she. Both are distractedly content being in each other's arms.
"I just want you to know that I appreciate you. My cravings have been all over the place, I'm 36 weeks pregnant, I can't help it," she giggles, "and I know you probably received weird looks when you ordered peanut butter on a burger."
This time it's his turn to laugh, his chin falling to rest upon her head, "Yeah, initially I got some odd looks from the chef but I simply said I'm a father to be and that did the trick. He's the dad of two and he understood without me going into too many details."
Jay and Erin both step out of the hug when they feel as if it's been going on longer than society dictates for a supposed platonic relationship. She clears her throat and he diverts his eyes upwards, staring at her ceiling as if it was a landmark attraction. Erin reopened her bag of food, staring inside at the endless number of fries they had scooped inside of it, "Thanks again," she knows he said she doesn't have to thank him, but it's hard especially because Abby was right in a sense, him being at her beck and call and picking up food she was craving was him going above and beyond for her, he didn't need to do this, "I appreciate it more than you know." He doesn't remind her that the gratitude is unnecessary. Instead, he tucks his hands in his front pockets and rocks forward and then backward on the soles of his feet and she starts to pick up on the body language, hinting that he wasn't ready to leave just yet, "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," he answers a bit too quick which tells her it's the complete opposite.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Jay takes a moment to consider her question, tossing it around in his head to see if he actually did want to discuss everything that has been going on in the last few weeks, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way," the start of his sentence makes her straighten her posture, "I don't blame you for anything I'm about to say. It's just…frustrating and uh overwhelming sometimes."
"…what is?" She pries.
Abby moves closer to the closet door to hear his answer better, "being unemployed, expecting a baby, my current relationship with Abby, all of that, it's a lot. I hope you're not mad."
"I'm not. I'm not mad," Erin rushed to say as she moved forward, "because I get it. Not the whole being unemployed part and the Abby part," she quickly corrects herself, "but everything else with the baby and my current relationship with my dad, and my mom being a helicopter parent, it's a whole lot and what my dad did to you is straining my relationship with him. I can't answer when he calls because I just get so angry. My mom is trying to play peacemaker but the only way I can talk to him is if he gives you your job back," she sees him ready to chime in and knowing him, it'll probably be to reassure her that she doesn't have to be mad for his benefit, "no Jay, no. I get we should have told him about it sooner but to fire you like that was uncalled for, you have rights as an employee and I wouldn't be mad at you for suing him and the department because of it."
"I sue, get my job back and be talked about by the whole department and treated poorly."
"…at least you'll have the job you love."
"I'd prefer to get my job back a different way, preferably without burning too many bridges."
"And how do you suppose you'll do that?"
"I'm hoping that with time, it'll blow over."
"It's been weeks," she reminds him, "and you underestimate my dad's ability to hold a grudge."
She witnesses a look of defeat cross his face. His shoulders slump and he releases a sigh of frustration, this just adding to his already tense shoulders and rigid stance, "Of all the people my boss could have been, it just had to be your dad," he pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, "I want to say I can be patient for a few more weeks because maybe he'll change his mind when the baby comes but I don't want to keep tapping into my savings."
"I'm not backing down until you get your job back. I hate that this happened to you."
"And I hate that it feels like you're getting punished because of me."
"It's not all on you though Jay. Last I checked, I was there and I was just as willing and careless that night as you were and despite everything that's going on, it'll get better, it has to get better. I know my dad better than you and it was my responsibility to tell him and I didn't. It's more on me than it is on you. And I'm going to fix this. You're one of my best friends," she admits with a vulnerable smile, "practically family, kindred spirits in a sense, brought together by fate, or destiny or even karma, whatever you want to call it, but our relationship with my dad and our relationship with Abby is not going to jeopardize our coparenting relationship. We're going to figure this out despite the forces that try to make it difficult to do so."
Abby rolls her eyes.
"…who knew this could cause so many problems," Jay reflects a self-deprecating smile, "so much has changed like the Abby from Wisconsin is not the Abby here today and I'm the reason for that."
"Stop," Erin raised her hand, pressing her palm against his chest, "you gotta stop that, seriously, you blame yourself for everything pertaining to that woman. You've tried to offer her a way out and she chose to stay by your side. I get that in situations like this someone has to be the bad guy but you've been the bad guy long enough, Jay. I felt bad for not telling my parents before Abby had the chance to, but I can't go back and change it. What's done is done. The only step we can take is forwards not backwards, we deserve it and so does she," Erin rubbed her protruding belly to hint at who she was referring to, "Abby chose to stay by your side which means she chose to accept this situation we've found ourselves in. You can't keep burdening yourself with a relationship that you feel guilty being in," Abby tenses up in the closet; it takes every part of her to keep herself still and her breaths even, "that day in the waiting room, you described your relationship with her as complicated, it's more than that, my relationship with my dad is complicated, that relationship you have right now with Abby is toxic."
"I just wish I can make everyone happy. Me, you, your parents, my family, Abby, everyone."
Erin moves closer, stepping into his personal space to wrap her hands around his, "That's so very sweet of you but it's also not your responsibility. You're going to stretch yourself thin trying to focus on making everyone happy and then who will be there to make sure that you're happy?"
"If the people I care about are happy, then my happiness coming last will be worth it."
"If the people you care about, care about you then you wouldn't have to sacrifice your happiness for theirs," she asserts, her hands releasing his in order to move up his arms and bring him into her hold, "The people that really matter won't love you any less for it. And if what makes you happy doesn't hurt anyone else then why not go for it? Why not do it? When the baby comes, I get priorities will shift and you'll actually have to consider her wellbeing in your decisions, but right now, she's not here, she's tucked away, safe and sound. Take advantage of that and do the things that makes you happy regardless of what my dad, or Abby or I think."
Abby rolls her eyes once again. She surprisingly keeps herself restrained despite the need to bust through the closet door and tackle Erin to the ground. She's putting herself in business that doesn't pertain to her even after Abby's visit. She didn't listen. It seems she never listens.
"You're the first person that's ever told me that," he whispers, wrapping his own arms around her as his nose brushed alongside her hairline, "I've always had the tendency to want to please others and I remember growing up and always seeing my mother put everybody's needs above her own and I know it took a toll on her because even when she got sick, she still put everybody first, she was practically a damn saint," Abby listens from the closet, lips pouted and brows furrowed because she barely knows anything about his mother, "I guess I wanted to be more like her than I realized but at the same time, I straddled the fence because I did things for me too. This move here, the job with Intelligence, all of that was for me because it was something I wanted to do."
"…and how did it feel making those decisions solely because you wanted to?"
"It felt good," he admits because that was probably the one time he could recall where he truly put his own happiness above others, "It felt really good."
She doesn't say anything in return, she simply just stays in his embrace and he stays in hers. It doesn't feel odd or out of place and Abby and her visit is the last thing on Erin's mind. Her senses are overwhelmed by the smell of his cologne, the material of his shirt under her palms and the soft sounds of him struggling to keep his breathing normal. He doesn't want to act as if this is bothering him when in reality it's the most accepted thing, he's received all day. Jay inhales the scent of her shampoo and tightens his hold until he feels a kick; it's the baby kicking and with Erin pressed against him, he can feel it against his waist, "I swear that feeling never gets old."
"Never," she agrees. And if Abby were a cartoon then steam would be blowing out of her ears. Her face is as red as a tomato and her body starts to sweat. This is wrong, this is so wrong and while Abby wants to storm out of the closet and pull the two of them away from each other, she doesn't because she isn't supposed to be here. She doesn't because she knows that'll guarantee the end of her relationship with Jay. She's stuck being forced to watch this moment shared between the two of them, the moment of vulnerability at the expense of her and Erin's dad and she's restricted because all she can do is fume about it from the inside of the closet. Her eyes are closed because she attempts to dull one sense in order to elevate the other and it pains her at what she hears next, "What are we doing here Jay?" It's Erin that asks.
And Abby kind of wants to know the answer herself but Jay doesn't provide it, he simply shushes her and then covers her lips with his own before whispering against her mouth, "…taking charge of my own happiness." Abby forces herself to look away, to stare at the uninteresting folded sheets organized on the shelf. She doesn't force herself to look, not until she knows she's able to handle it. So, she shuts her eyes, shimmies her shoulders, twists her head side to side and then rolls her shoulders before stepping forward to look again.
She didn't expect things to escalate so quickly. She thought Jay would have the decency to pull away but he doesn't, instead he's pulling at her clothes as she pulls at his. Abby watches from the confines of the closet. Through the door that is cracked open, she sees the discarded food bag on the floor, she sees Erin slowly stripping in front of him and bile rises up her throat the second she sees Jay unbuckling the belt on his jeans. What's happening? Her hand settles against the shelf to catch herself and her other hand comes to rest over her mouth to block out the sounds of her heavy breathing. This cannot be happening right now. She's seeing things. She has to be.
She shoves her fisted hand into her mouth, biting down as hard as she can into her flesh until she tastes the iron remnants of blood. It doesn't stop her from pushing her teeth further into her skin, needing the comfort of physical pain to overwhelm and mask the emotional pain.
Abby sucks in a large burst of air when he pulls off the last article of clothing that was on his body, the naked body that only Abby's eyes should get the pleasure of seeing, of touching, yet he's here exposing himself to a woman that he promised he had no feelings for, a woman that he reassured her was a mistake. It was hard to believe what she was seeing. After everything she's done for him, after everything she's sacrificed, he allows that woman to come between them, to come between true love. Her eye unexpectedly and randomly twitches and she reaches out to grab the door knob when Erin suddenly takes a step back, putting distance between her and Jay.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, hands falling to rest upon her belly because of course she has to continue to rub that in Abby's face, she does it all the time, so why did Abby expect her to do or act any differently, "I'm just…" Erin cuts herself off. She stood before him, self-consciously averting her eyes to focus anywhere or on anything besides him. The last time he's seen her naked, she wasn't pregnant; her stomach wasn't so largely rounded and now months have passed, her body has changed and their lives are different. He senses where her thoughts have taken her and he drops down to his knees before her, rests his palms against her stomach and leans in to kiss the area just above her belly button, "This is amazing," he kisses her belly again and this time his kiss is met with a sharp kick, the baby's foot which is weirdly visible when pressed against her stomach and he smiles before kissing that spot, "beautiful," and from his bended position he looks up to meet her eyes, "you're beautiful."
Abby's hands start to twitch at her sides. She wants to storm out there and drag Jay away but she's not supposed to be in this closet. She can't have him see this side of her because she won't lose him; he'll just lose the people that attempt to insert themselves in their relationship, in their love life. She cannot remember the last time she had sex with him and maybe that's because he's been scratching that itch elsewhere. Abby sucks in a large breath when Erin's finger comes below his chin and she pushes, hinting for him to stand back up. And whatever hope she had that one of them would realize the mistake in their actions diminished the second their lips joined once again and he backed her up down the hallway and into her bedroom, his arms around her hips the entire time to ensure she didn't stumble or fall while walking backwards.
As quietly as possible Abby steps out of the closet, cracking the door behind her because that's how it was found. If she was smart, if she cared about her mental wellbeing, she would have used this moment to her advantage and left out but she couldn't. She needed to see what they were doing. She needed to know how far they were willing to go. Abby pulls off her shoes, knowing they could have the tendency to make a noise if she wasn't careful enough and she shoves them into her opened purse before making her way down the hall. She hears his familiar grunts and groans, the sounds that she hasn't heard in months because he's always been pulling away from her. She hears him praise Erin's name as if her name was the most familiar word coming from his mouth. And as Abby rounded the corner, noticing that the bedroom door was cracked, she saw him laying back, Erin on her knees and her head going up and down hinting towards exactly what kind of pleasure he was receiving.
Abby steps away, moving backwards until her back presses against the wall. She's torturing herself by still being here but she couldn't find it in herself to move, to leave and not look back. To see Erin's mouth wrapped around him, doing something she's never done herself, Abby has never performed that for him and maybe that's why he sought lust from somebody else. Maybe it was her who pushed him away and into the arms of Erin? Maybe Abby needs to offer something new to the table? She gives herself some time to gather her thoughts and emotions before hearing Jay's voice, "Er," her face turns red at the nickname because Abby is the only one who deserves a nickname from him, "that was amazing," she moves back to the door to see Erin standing up, using her thumb and pointer finger to wipe the corners of her mouth before smugly smiling down at him and immediately, before she can see Jay grab her by the waist to pull her between his legs and her mouth down to meet his, she backs up again, palms lying flat against the wall as she tries to suppress her need to gasp in large chunks of air.
Her eye twitches again.
Her heart is racing.
She has a shortness of breath.
Her muscles start to ache.
Her palms are dripping with sweat.
Her chest rises and falls with every second that passes because now that she can't see, she doesn't know what they're doing. It's driving her crazy so she moves back to the door after minutes of gathering her rising anger to see Erin lying on her back, feet flat against her mattress and Jay's face hidden between her legs. Her fingers are running through his hair, her eyes are closed and she's biting her lip in an attempt to suppress the need to scream out his name. She doesn't want to disturb her neighbors yet she doesn't mind disturbing Abby. She shuts her eyes and she doesn't go back until Erin reaches her peak; her moans so loud that they draw Abby back towards the door to see Jay finish her off in a way that he's never done for her. They've never went down on each other in their bedroom yet he doesn't mind venturing into that territory in hers.
Abby stands in disbelief as she watches him rest the side of his head against her thigh as Erin's chest rises and falls as she struggles to catch her breath. Her worse fear came to life. It felt like this was an alternate reality. Abby has cotton-mouth; she can barely find enough moisture in her glands to swallow but even knowing what watching this is costing her, she doesn't pull or look away. Her feet are stuck to this spot. Her eyes are glued on them. He's kissing her, the taste of each other present on their lips and tongue and mixing together as his hand runs through her hair, "How do you want to do this? What's the most comfortable way for you?"
"I'm not sure," she mumbles against his lips, "I've never done this while pregnant before."
He smiles against her mouth before rolling onto his back, patting his thighs and hinting for her to get on top and hop on, "Ride me."
"I might crush you."
"…then it'll be a cause worth dying for," with his assistance, she hovers above him, legs not stretched open too wide which she's relieved by, "down you go."
"Please stop talking," she rolls her eyes and chuckles. His hands are at her hips, her grip is around him and he guides her in carefully sliding down. He doesn't move once he's inside because he waits to see her reaction, needing and wanting this to be just as comfortable for her as it is for him.
And Abby watches her adjust to his size, finding the smallest relief in hearing that this is the first time they've slept together since Erin got pregnant but being reminded by the sounds of the bed hitting the wall that he was taken, he was her boyfriend and Erin is fully aware of that yet it doesn't stop her from riding him. It doesn't stop her from calling out his name, "Jay!"
"Say my name again," he desperately craves to hear it from her lips in the middle of giving her every ounce of pleasure he had to offer because the last time they slept together, they didn't know each other's name and he couldn't appreciate it then, "Jay," she doesn't hesitate to grant him his wish, "Jay, Jay, Jay!" It's like a chant, a prayer that falls from her lips. And when the position starts to become too difficult to hold because of her growing bump, it doesn't stop her from leaning forward, holding onto the back of the bed for extra support and bounce control. Erin even lets him sit up and she doesn't think to stop him when he wraps his mouth around her breast, burying his face into the sensitive cushion that drives Erin even wilder when it's handled so fondly.
Abby has never been in any position with him besides missionary and yet here he is doing everything besides that with Erin. Maybe because it isn't comfortable with her stomach being nearly the size of a watermelon? Or maybe it's because he reserves that position for Abby? She smiles, thinking that he's doing positions with Erin that he doesn't do with her because he doesn't want to taint the memories they've shared together. Abby calms for a split second before the anger heats back up again when his forehead is pressed against hers, his hand caresses the side of her face, their eyes so powerfully focused into each other's that their eye contact has Abby reconsidering if this was lust-driven sex or making love.
"Erin…" he moans and that's when the first tear falls from her eyes.
The two of them, foreheads pressed together and staring into each other's eyes so hard that they see glimpses of the other's soul as the only sound heard in the bedroom is skin meeting skin forces the second tear in Abby's eyes to fall. She tried so hard to hold them in but now they seem to have full control. Erin made a move on her boyfriend; she's trying to steal him from her and while she may have one advantage -the baby- Abby was going to get the upper hand back. She won't rest until Jay is back in her arms and Erin fully understands that he is a taken man in a committed relationship. She won't lose him to anyone, especially Erin.
"Jay…" another tear falls from Abby's eye when Erin moans his name in response to the building sensation in her body. And when the two of them reach that inevitable bliss, she hears the whimpers of each other's names before lips are pressed back together and he grabs her by the waist and rolls over, rolling her off of him to spoon his naked body behind hers.
It's just cuddling, Abby tries to convince herself, naked cuddling but cuddling nonetheless. And he's just spooning her, neither of which he's ever done with Abby, at least not without complaint. He spoons Erin as if it's second nature and Abby begins to think that it's over. Why wouldn't it be? They already had three rounds and while she's never been pregnant before, she assumed that Erin's energy would be limited, but that seems to either be a myth or Erin's an outlier because even with his chest pressed against her back, with their legs bent slightly, pillows fluffed up, propped and cushioned beneath her knees to add an extra layer of comfort and support and her butt pushed towards him, he grips her leg and raises it only so he can enter her again. The two of them moving, him adjusting the lean of his body to vary the angle and assist in rocking and thrusting and Abby realizes now in this moment that she can't watch anymore. If she watches a second longer, she might just hurt somebody. The last thing Abby sees before fully backing away is his hand cup her sensitive breast as he applies kisses to the crook of her neck. She rushes as fast and as quietly as she can to leave, opening and shutting the front door behind her with the distant sounds of their combined moaning being the last thing she heard.
For what's left of her sanity, she couldn't witness the end of round four and any passionate maneuver after that. To hear him call out Erin's name again when it should be Abby's that he's saying is something that her heart wouldn't be able to handle again. To see Erin's arm go behind her to wrap around his neck and bring his head, his face, his lips closer so she can easily turn her own to the side and meet his is something that would have driven Abby over the edge in this exact moment. She needed to think on this, to sleep on it and consider everything that she just witnessed because she wasn't giving up on him that easily. Abby is moving so fast, she doesn't even bother putting her shoes back on, instead, she keeps them in the purse dangling from her shoulder as she rushes out of the building, white socks quickly being covered with dirt while desperately needing to get to her car to cry without anyone seeing her, but if on her way to her parallel parked vehicle, she spots Erin's car and walks over to drag her pocket knife against the back tire then fortunately for her no one would be of the wiser. It's what the woman deserves. Fair is fair, Abby reasons.
"Wow," Erin whispered seconds after coming down from another high. His hand fell to her stomach, running over the stretchmarks that beautifully decorate the home of their growing baby.
"How is our papaya?" He refers to the baby as the fruit she's currently the size of.
Erin's hand falls to rest above his, both lying on the center of her belly, "She stopped kicking a while ago," she informs before rolling over to face him, "I think she's asleep."
"I didn't hurt either of you or make you uncomfortable, did I?"
"No," she reassures him, reaching her hand out to trace the muscular lines on his chest; she never had a chance to bask in the afterglow after the last time they had sex, such a long time ago, "the only thing you've managed to make me do is need another shower."
"…at least I don't have to worry about getting you pregnant."
That earns a chuckle from her because just like months ago when they slept with each other the first time, neither of them used protection. They must be gluttons for punishment because that was the last thing on either one of their minds this time and if she weren't currently pregnant, she'd have to worry about the possibility of having another kid.
Erin tucks her head beneath his and draws different patterns onto his chest, "I hate to be the one to mention the elephant in the room, but…Abby." She says and suddenly she feels his body stiffen as he exhales a deep breath to loosen his tense muscles, "She needs help," he admits to someone else for the first time, "She's not okay and if I leave, I'm afraid that she'll hurt herself."
"So, you're going to stay and be miserable in a relationship that you don't want to be in?"
"Not forever," he's quick to correct, "just until she's stable enough. I only promised to stick around if she got help. Once she gets the help and smartens up and leaves then it'll be better for all of the parties involved. I can't leave her when I'm the one that caused all of this. If you had known her when we first met, she was completely different than the Abby of today. I put her through a lot with moving here and taking a job, sleeping with you, getting you pregnant, spending majority of my free time with you, I've put her through more than any person can handle and she has nobody but me so for her, to lose me is to lose everything."
"That's a lot of pressure on you."
"I can handle it."
"You can handle it now," she sits up, glancing down at him peacefully lying comfortably on her bed, "but how are you going to handle it when we add another person," she looks down at the so called papaya growing in her belly, "to the equation. Look Jay," she reaches over and sets her hand upon his leg, "I commend you for wanting to help her, for sticking around while she gets help and despite what you may think, of the things you've done, you're not a bad guy, you're a good guy who may have made bad decisions but don't we all?" And now he's sitting up, "This was building up between us for a while and I'm glad we got it out of our system because sexual tension is not something I need in my last few weeks of pregnancy, but" she briefly cuts herself off to grab his hand, "maybe we should slow it down some, at least while you're figuring everything out with Abby. I don't think looking her in the eye every day while faking a smile and then having sex with me behind her back is the best way to start off our co-parenting adventure together. I think it's obvious that I like you but maybe we should just strengthen our friendship while you figure things out over there and then once that's done, we can revisit this conversation and I hope I'm not imagining things. There's something brewing between us and it's not just because I'm pregnant, right?" she waits to get at least a hint of what he's thinking but he's giving no signs of his actual thought.
"I think," he shakes his head, "I know," he corrects, "that I like you. I haven't slept with Abby in months and it was one time and we used protection and the more I'm with her the more I realize that I don't want to be. I just want her to get help so she doesn't hurt herself when I leave. That's all. I don't want to be with her, but I do want to help her," he leans forward to cup her face, "I don't regret what just happened," she bites her lip and nods quickly and he assumes that means she's in agreement, "And if it happens again, before Abby's gone, then I won't be opposed to it."
Her lips lightly, so gently brush against his and she feels torn about this entire situation. She likes him, a lot. Even though there's still a lot to learn about her, he knows enough to be considered one of her closest friends. Milo likes him. Burgess likes him. Her mother will eventually him. Her dad doesn't like anybody so he doesn't count and if Abby wasn't in the picture then this decision would be one of the easiest she had to make, but she is in the picture and this decision isn't easy at all, "I don't want to just be a hookup," she pecks his lips with her own, sending many mixed messages, "We deserve better than that," Erin's hands fall to her stomach, "she deserves better than that. It's not just us Jay, it's never been just us. We have a baby to think about and being friends with benefits will only end in heartbreak and it's not like we can just walk away and never have to worry about seeing each other again if things don't work out. We share a baby. We'll always have to see each other; we'll always have to be in each other's lives."
Jay knows that she's right; she's usually always right. No matter how good they were to each other's bodies, they needed to be smart about this. Too much was at stake if things didn't work out. They need to go slow, be patient as he helps Abby and Erin ends the last few weeks of her pregnancy happy and without stress. He shut his eyes and by the slow nod of his head, he seems to get and agree with her point, "great," she smiles, "now I'm going to clean myself up a bit. You should do me a favor and heat up the food you bought me. I'm pretty sure there's a game on, I'll share it with you as we watch it, and don't give me that look," she laughs, "peanut butter on a burger sounds like it'll taste amazing and at least try it before you judge it. You might like it."
"You've never had it before though so how can you speak on it so confidently?"
"True but I have a craving for a burger and peanut butter and baby seems to be encouraging that craving so if she's down then I'm down. So, go heat up the food and find a game for us to watch."
He couldn't argue with that plan at all so while she hopped up to head into the bathroom, he pulled on his boxers and ventured out to the living room to grab the food, immediately spotting the unlocked front door that has him second guessing whether or not he locked it when he came over. He can't recall. He was too distracted. He walks over, opening the door before looking out into the hallway, finding it empty. Jay shuts it, locks the top and bottom and waits a few seconds before turning around and heading into the kitchen. He can't remember if he locked it or not but while the food heats up, he plans to search every nook and cranny of this apartment to make sure that no one was inside, hiding and waiting for the perfect opportunity to either attack or steal. And by the time he finishes searching, satisfied at finding nothing, the food is heated and Erin is sitting on the couch, remote in hand and flipping through channels in search of a game to watch as they split this disgusting burger creation. He'll probably just end up eating her fries.
Special thanks to pdshalstud and qsarah34, without them, this chapter probably wouldn't have come out until next year.