Disclaimer: I don't own.
Starting the 2023 Christmas season with an alternate view of the Hollywood Arts Christmas.
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"So, what do I like best about living in America?" Festus found the first drawback of being accepted at Hollywood Arts was now he sometimes had to talk about himself. "This time of year, Christmas. I love American Christmas. See, in Yerba, we have, er, let me start over. I like being able to visit snow. Not have it snow, which is why I'm living in Lost Angels and not someplace stupid. No, I get to visit snow, feel the cold, and then retreat to someplace warm." He leaned in closer. "Did you know Vampire Moths hate the cold? It's why, when I fist got here, I tried living in Michigan. It can get cold in Michigan. Only, before I had the chance to see if the cold would protect me, I found out that the moths live in whats called a micro-environment. No idea what a micro-environment is, just they live in one. Apparently they can't get the tiny visa's needed to immigrate, so they stay in Yerba. So, there I am, in Michigan, admiring the lake, when I decided I didn't want to work in a food truck there. THEN, I felt the cold, and I realized, I REALLY didn't want to work in that food truck. So I moved out here, got a job in a food truck, but this being the land of dreams, I knew, it was just a mater of time before I owned my own food truck. Just five more years of ninety percent of my income and I'll own this truck fully."
Looking back, he sighed. "Life is good here. I'm a part of the school. They gave me a slap account, then they helped me get a computer, so I could use it. So now, I'm almost a part of the Hollywood Arts. And, I get to spend Christmas here. Whats that? Do I miss my family back home?" The lunchtime entrepreneur smiled. "Of course I do. What I don't miss is Christmas. Too commercial back there. All the traditions, not dying so much as altered. So busy copying everyone else, we forgot what made the holiday special for us."
"What traditions?" He blustered. "Important one's, like hunting the Christmas Armu. That was, the memories… Wait, you don't know what an Armu is? It's like a turkey, only we don't have them in Yerba. It's a five foot tall bird, over a hundred and fifty pounds, with razor sharp toes and a razor sharp, how you say, nose… Beak, yes, Beak. Dangerous, cause you'd think, if it doesn't fly, then those wing's shouldn't work. Only, people get maimed trying to catch one of those. Besides, they eat the Vampire Moths. So, we don't usually hunt them. But where else will we get a Christmas bird? I remember, as a child, carrying the holiday dynamite, watching it sweat." The nostalgic look on his face broke into a smile. "It has to sweat, so it goes off faster."
Festus got serious. "If you could plant it, that was best. Armu are fast, so you don't want them running after you. They instinctively go after anything trying to harm them. It's why they started eating the Moths. But because they're so fast, you usually do better just throwing the Holiday Dynamite at them, hoping not to be maimed by the bird, or the explosion, and picking up the partially cooked meat after. One year, I tossed the dynamite into some herbs, and that's what got me interested in cooking. The flavor it added to the bird, which is important, since Armu taste horrible. Comes from eating the vampire Moths."
"Wait, other traditions?" The cook smiled. "Finishing preparing the meal, the exchange of vendetta's, and of course, tribute. Oh, right, it's like gifts, only you give tribute to those who have power over you. Not JUST the chancellor. In fact, with the exception of someone very successful, like my cousin, never directly to the Chancellor. No, my family would give tribute to my mother, as head of the family, and all the mothers would give tribute to the head of the village, who would in turn give tribute to the Chancellor. And if they liked the gift, then we get to spend Christmas Even without fear, except for the rebels, who runied everything, because now we can't have the dynamite."
Fastus sighed. "Cannot kill the Armu without the dynamite, and without the Armu, we just don't have a feast, so the government had us switch over to eating gravy. It's our national product." He shrugged. "But I'm in Hollywood, Lost Angels. I eat turkey, and after, so do you. I cannot serve leftovers from Thanksgiving any more, the health department told me that much, so I have to get a second one for my Christmas dinner. But hay, you'll finish off the leftovers, and I can eat whatever else is left over in the Grub truck. What? It's what we do to make ends meet…"
"Oh, right, I've been a part of the Hollywood Arts Secret Santa now for almost two years." The cook seemed to stand a touch taller. "Finally, I'm a fully accepted part of this school. Was thinking of giving gravy, because my home country, they make great gravy. Only, you just don't see Yerbainian gravy here. So I was forced to find something else.. Sorry, who's my what? No name for the person who gets the gift, except I'm their Santa, which was hard last year, because I tried sneaking down the chimney, and let me tell you, the security on that house was tight. Just glad officer Veega understood… I got Trina, and I bought her this face cream from Yerba." He listened. "As far as I can tell, it works as well as anything else. So last year, I nearly get killed, because no one told me her father was armed. I know he was a police officer, but I'm still not used to American police, like warning shots."
"What did I get? Some joker gave me a cook book." Festus almost spat. "Turned out to be a great gift. Really appreciated… Oh, in Yerba, we spit out when we want to show how much we like a gift, or a meal. Comes form having Armu for Christmas dinner. The spitting almost reflexive, and we use that to not hurt the cooked feelings…. Who'd I get this year? I got Jade, but someone wanted to trade. Should I?"
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Thoughts?