Mass Effect 1

Burnt for Beacons

Chapter 8 – Armstrong Nebula I

"Hackett thinks Saren is trying to raise a geth army in the Armstrong Cluster and he wants a single Mako to take them out?"

Ashley enjoyed watching Kaidan, he was exceptionally good looking, with dark hair and classic features. He obviously fancied himself a bit, using far more hair gel than was strictly necessary and spending a lot of time at the gym honing what was already a well-proportioned body, but Ashley couldn't really fault him for that. He was also thoughtful and kind, with a quiet intelligence. His once broken nose just drew attention to his long eyelashes. Her sister would love him. He rubbed his head thoughtfully before he replied. "I think the intel got to us early enough. It looks like the geth haven't really built up in numbers, they are just starting to think about establishing a foothold there. If we were to take them out quickly and quietly it would send a powerful message."

"You can't really think this makes sense."

"The nearest Alliance fleet is too far away. Our job is to do as much damage as we can, until they can come in with their big, shiny dreadnoughts and do the rest. It's a risk-free plan for Hackett, and lucky for him we have plenty of experience and are right next door."

Ashley frowned and handed Kaidan one of the cups of coffee. They sat down at the table opposite each other. From where she sat, she could see her model of the Normandy, which someone had moved onto the kitchen counter. She sipped her coffee.

"What did you manage to find out about Cerberus?" Kaidan asked.

"Dead end. They aren't really linked to Saren at all, they are just trying to benefit from his leavings."

Ashley explained it all; how Cerberus had been paying ExoGeni to research weapons, how they had seen the potential in the thorian, and the creepers, how Saren had somehow convinced the geth to fight for him and how together they had managed to create the technology to raise a zombie husk army, and how Cerberus had swooped in when they had seen the potential in controlling husks themselves. "I would be surprised if Saren is even aware of what Cerberus is up to. There isn't really a link between them. Our best bet at this point is to follow the geth."

"Which brings us to the Armstrong Nebula," Kaidan finished.

"Who's she taking?" Ashley asked, her eyes flicked to the little Normandy, and then back to her coffee to take a sip.

"Wrex, Garrus and Tali for a start," Kaidan said.

Ashley grunted. Wrex and Garrus made a surprisingly good team, even though they never really got on together down in engineering. Tali was an interesting choice; she'd hardly been on any missions since arriving on the Normandy and she was not a trained soldier.

Kaidan hummed thoughtfully, "I think the commander is assuming there could be a tech element involved. Normally she'd trust herself to handle that, but maybe she wants to see if Tali's knowledge of the geth will add something different."

"Garrus as a sniper and Wrex as muscle and biotics," Ashley finished, nodding. "Yeah, I can see how that would work well."

"You'll want to make sure they've all got Tungsten ammo," he told her.

She frowned at him darkly, "I know my job, Staff Lieutenant."

"Good to hear it, Gunnery Chief Williams," he was grinning broadly.

Ashley decided to call truce and gave him a half smile in return.

"Hit the gym after the briefing?" Kaidan asked.

Ashley waved her still bandaged hand at him. "I can't do anything."

"How'd you do that anyway?" Kaidan asked, a little too innocently.

Ashley explained about catching the hot metal.

Kaidan shook his head mournfully, "Oh dear, well I'm sure it's the sort of mistake you only make—"

Ashley leaned forward across the laminate table and punched him in the shoulder before he could finish and then laughed disbelievingly. Kaidan, for his part, chuckled ruefully while rubbing his bruised arm. Ashley sat back down and looked across at Kaidan expectantly.

"Garrus, told me to say that."

"I bet he did, that creaky damn bastard."

"Creaky?" Kaidan asked, still laughing.

"You know," and by now Ashley felt overcome with mirth, "the way his plates rub together, he kind of…" she held up her hands and mimed two plates rubbing up against each other, leaving space between them to avoid the bandage, "creaks. I couldn't think of anything better."

The pair sat for a while concocting insults that would work on their various squad mates. Slowly, their breathing eased.

"I'll spot you," she said, wiping away a tear of laughter.

Freshly showered after her workout at the gym, her body throbbing pleasantly, Ashley made her way down to the armoury to begin her shift. Shepard was talking to Charlton Tucks, the requisitions officer, who was shaking his head, Wrex was sitting languidly on some crates, or at least as languidly as a massive hard-shelled monster can sit, and Garrus crouching, was tinkering with something that probably didn't need to be tinkered with. The Mako loomed beside him like a shiny hulking beast, he was dwarfed by the massive tyres which disappeared into the shadows above them, it's glossy hide glowing faintly where the dim lighting met angled surfaces. Her body felt full, she found herself moving easily and confidently. It was her post exercise high, and she gloried in it. Kaidan had contacted Chakwas and got a list of exercises Ashley could do, and while they didn't push her as hard as she would normally like, they had still left her feeling capable and in control. It was a feeling she hadn't realised she'd been missing. She walked easily along the darkly coloured gangway with its square panelling and then turned towards her station. Stepping lightly over the raised ridge, lined with little lights, she made her way onto the lower decking.

She entered the armoury and crossed to a wall of carefully organised cases, and drummed her fingers along their surfaces, before finding the one she was looking for. She slid it out and carried it over to her workbench. With practiced ease, she rested it on the bench, used her thumbprint to unlock it, flicked open the clasps, pulled out a slightly banged up Avalanche VIII shotgun, and began looking it over with a critical eye. She had cleaned and oiled it when it had first come in, but she was double checking she hadn't missed anything. Her worst nightmare was that they would pick up some second-hand gun that had been modified by some over-confident clown, and a fault in the weapon would injure one of her people. She pulled a microscope arm out of the wall and began examining the gun closely, looking for any unusual markings, or changes in metal grades. Satisfied, she placed it back in the case, to take to the test range later. She walked over to the pistol case and selected a new Karpov VII, that Tucks had found for her. She longed for more Karpov Xs or even IXs, but there had been procurement issues. The VII would just have to make do. With no obvious manufacturing flaws to be found, she placed the gun in another case and prepared to take them to the small onboard testing range.

"I heard what happened to your hand."

When Ashley turned to look, Shepard's eyes were wide with sympathy, and something else that was harder to parse. Out of the corner of her eye, Ashley registered that Wrex and Garrus were standing together, listening to the exchange. Even Tucks had moved in close. Ashley wasn't sure what was happening but was instantly on the defensive. She knew a set up when she saw one. Shepard's eyes made it clear that Shepard knew that Ashley knew that the words that followed would be at her expense. Shepard sighed extravagantly and shook her head almost mockingly.

"At least it's the kind of mistake you only ma—" Before Shepard could finish the sentence Ashley yanked a screwdriver from the wall and pointed it at her, menacingly, her recently rebandaged hand merely added to the drama of the moment.

"All due respect, Commander," Ashley said through gritted teeth, but smiling eyes, "I would appreciate it if you didn't finish that sentence." She was playing to the crowd and could make out Wrex's massive shoulders bouncing up and down and Garrus' mandibles snapping excitedly.

Ashley could practically see Shepard's thoughts as her face played through a series of micro expressions, could see Shepard's internal battle as she struggled to decide whether to push Ashley and finish the joke, or acquiesce. She made her decision, chewing the inside of her cheek and raising an eyebrow as if physically swallowing her words. Tucks clapped Wrex on the shoulder still chuckling at Ashley's quite real discomfiture, and the three men glided away happily to their workstations. Shepard raised her hand towards the screwdriver that Ashley had forgotten to lower and gently gripped the steel shank, one of her fingers accidently touched Ashley's thumb which was resting over the top of the rubberised handle. An electric jolt spiralled up Ashley's arm, through her shoulder and settled in her chest.

Shepard was still smiling, but her eyes were on the screwdriver as she said in the soft tones reserved for startled animals and children, "Easy now, let's get that pointed somewhere else."

Ashley's lips parted and she lifted the heel of her foot to step closer towards the other woman, but came to her senses, rolled her eyes theatrically in a doomed attempt to recover, and placed the screwdriver securely on the wall with a click that punctuated the sudden stillness around her. The sound of her pumping heart thundered in her ears.

"We haven't spoken in a while. How's your sister doing? Last time we talked you said she—"

"I can't." Ashley felt something invisible tighten around her throat. She felt a panic rise within her, and she imagined her breath coming out in shallow gasps. "I have to proof fire these for Tali," she finished. Her heart continued to pound painfully in her chest, every beat pulsed through her like a drum, she was certain Shepard would be able to hear it, she herself felt almost deafened by it. For her part, Shepard looked a strange combination of startled and bewildered. The truth was that Ashley longed to tell the woman in front of her everything and longed to hear her stories in return. She wanted to curl up in Shepard's breast pocket and be with her always, safe and secure, while Shepard went through the minutia of her day. She wanted to look into those brown eyes and never feel like she had to stop staring. To talk, to laugh, to fight, to learn new things and ancient things, to hold hands and watch vids together, to build models, slay monsters, and grow old together. She wanted all that and more. Which was why she had to escape. Now.

It was as if the commander could read her thoughts, understand them as easily as if they were her own, because she took a measured step away from Ashley to allow her breathing space. Neither woman moved further, neither wanted to risk breaking the gossamer thin connection between them. Ashley felt herself reeling in her tangled emotions like a fisherman with a line, and just like that fisherman she felt at a loss at what to do next. She did not want to cut the line, but it was impossibly snagged. She needed to explain herself, but had no idea where to begin, as words and thoughts fled.

"Ash?"

Ashley shook her head.

Shepard let out a long slow breath and Ashley suddenly, irreverently, found herself marvelling at the other woman's lung capacity.

They stood in silence.

People moved around the mechanical bay without paying any particular attention to the pair. Wrex was keying something into his omni-tool, Lieutenant Adams made his way into the elevator with Abishek Pakti and Alexei Dubyansky, the doors hissed closed and sealed with a clank. Addison, who had vacated the elevator made her way over to consult with Garrus. The sounds of voices but not the words echoed up from the engine room. Shepard began to fidget.

"What do you need from me?" she finally asked, looking at Ashley with the sad eyes of someone who knows they're not going to like what they hear.

Ashley paused. A thousand suggestions crammed into her head all at once, some so wildly inappropriate she almost blushed. Finally, she grasped one and said, "No touching. I can't… we can't… touch."

Shepard nodded carefully.

"And come back from Maji safe."

The cockpit was full of gleaming panels and virtual overlays. The overall effect was of a cave, a long dark corridor broken up with crew seating and yellow lit displays running along either side. The ceilings and wall panels were covered in readouts of white text that looked like carefully organised stars. It was beautiful in its own way. As Ashley walked along the gangway and towards the helm, small lights lit her path like an old-fashioned aeroplane runway, and overhead lighting flickered on, but only just enough to help guide her to the front of the ship. She acknowledged those members of the flight crew that looked up from their screens, but most were busily moving their hands over the haptic interface in front of them and seemed to fail to notice Ashley at all. The Normandy was flying low over a mountainous planet, completely devoid of any natural beauty. The landscape was the colour of wet blood, while the mountain ranges, in a failed attempt at contrast, were the colour of dried blood. On the horizon were the two suns that the planet was orbiting: Vamashi-A (a cold looking blue) and the aging red giant, Vamashi-B. The sand that was being kicked up by the ceaseless winds meant that these suns could be viewed freely, though it also leant them an unreal, nightmarish quality.

Ashley had done what she could to prepare Tali for the mission, she'd found the little quarian a shotgun with the specs she'd requested, and then watched to check she'd be able to handle the massive recoil. She'd been impressed by what she'd seen, but she still got Wrex to spend some time with her, going over the basics, practising manoeuvres and hand signals, and she'd confirmed that Tali had been able to sync her suit's interface with the rest of the squad's. Ashley felt cold. The Normandy was very low now, almost at drop height. She felt herself tense as she gripped the shoulder rest of an empty chair, she tried in vain to slow her breathing and relax her back muscles, but the tense ache continued. Voices of the flight crew took on a more urgent quality as they readied the Normandy to release the Mako onto the surface of the planet. Ashley imagined that she could feel the moment that it happened, as if a part of herself had been sliced away, but the reality was that she had probably read the body language of the crew around her. Either way, the Mako was now planet side, the Normandy was flying away, and she felt bereft.

She continued carefully towards the helm. It was lit the same way, with consoles and seating running along the walls next to the windows. These were all empty and Ashley had long since stopped questioning that fact. Joker liked his space. She slowed her approach, continuing almost nervously, until she was close enough that she could almost touch his flight chair which hunkered massively at the very front and centre of the craft. Looking over his surprisingly broad shoulders she could see everything in a 180-degree semi-circle. The angle of Joker's hat showed that his attention was not on the view, but on the multiple haptic displays in front of him, his fingers moving across them as artfully as any concert pianist.

"You're looming." His voice was disapproving and distracted.

Ashley wasn't sure what to do, so she decided to wait. Jeff Moreau was not a man who took kindly to unnecessary distractions.

"Chief, if you are going to insist on being a creepy loomer can you at least do it over there." He jabbed a finger violently towards the chair to the right of his. The console simultaneously flickered off, presumably Joker didn't want her accidently pressing something she shouldn't. She found herself feeling surprisingly grateful as she lay back into the cushioned arms of the chair. His hands began to slow, and he instead adjusted his earpiece, presumably to better monitor the ground crew. "So, is this going to be a talking visit or…"

Instead of answering Ashley instead asked, "How'd you know it was me?"

"You smell like a grease monkey, gun oil I guess, and you have a limp. Who else would it be?"

"I don't need to talk. Can I… do you mind if I just wait here."

"Music?" he asked. Which Ashley chose to take as permission. She nodded her reply.

The air was filled with the instantly recognisable bars of Beethoven's Piano Sonata no. 14, the moonlight sonata. Jeff's version had strings, definitely some violins and at least one cello, but that was as far as Ashley's knowledge of 400-year-old music would take her. She allowed her breathing to slow, she could almost feel her body bleeding into the cushions that cradled her. This had been one of her mother's favourite pieces. She was surprised that Jeff was so cultured, it wasn't something that she'd ever really thought about, but if forced to guess, she would have picked him for enjoying more modern sounds, maybe even something out of Heshtok. With each parsed stroke of the piano's keys, she found her mind freeing itself. The music was part lullaby, part funeral march and it matched her mood perfectly. She let her eyes close, and it became all she knew.