A/N: New chapter, from Lexa's POV.

I have also written a companion fic to this one, which focuses on Titus story before the Sky people fell to the ground. It will be up by tomorrow.

Enjoy!

Chapter 18: Last contact

Lexa stood silently, leaning against the frame of the door. She had followed Clarke's desperate run down to the mechanic's room and had caught up quickly enough to hear the blonde's pleas to the silent radio. She was unsure how the young woman had guessed that something was wrong with the Ark from the news of the Exodus ship's crash, but her heart clenched as she witnessed her pain.

She had never seen someone break down so completely in front of others. Her culture discouraged marked emotions outside the sphere of close family in general, and natblidas were often even less expressive because of their limited interactions with others and general expectations.

And Clarke was not alone in her grief, as Raven was now rocking her while silent tears ran down her own cheeks, and the boy Monty had fallen into the nearest chair, his head buried in his hands as his shoulders shook quietly.

She was used to going anywhere she wished within the Tower, and had never felt out of place in any of its rooms before. It was her home, and even places she rarely went to – like the kitchens or the barracks – were a part of it and brought her a feeling of belonging. But right now, seeing the common grief of the three young people, she felt like she was intruding and was unable to cross the threshold. Yet, she felt deep in her chest the need to comfort the blonde girl she had grown so fond of, like she had supported the nightbloods and herself after Strina's death.

But she did not have the faintest idea of how to do it.

She was no stranger to the pain of losing someone – Costia, the previous Heda and all her fellow natblidas, just to name a few – but most of these deaths had been… expected. Heda would die, and his death would be followed by the Conclave. Her own survival implied the deaths of the others. Once Costia had been captured, there had been little doubt in her mind about her eventual fate.

She doubted it had made the pain any more bearable, but it had at least been expected. She had been able to brace herself before taking on the crushing weight of grief, and had turned her focus to her duties. Hoping the weight of her many responsibilities would help her ignore the weight of her losses.

Furthermore, she had never really gone through the process of mourning, or at least not in the way she had witnessed some of her people do. She suppressed her emotions, and used their boiling as a fuel for her duties. She did not yell, beg the Spirit to give her back her loved ones, or fall in a state of melancholy. She had never truly received comfort in such moments either. She was Heda. She was the Spirit's chosen. To her people, she was not exactly human.

So she stood awkwardly on the threshold, unsure of what to say or do, and equally unable to just leave the uncomfortable situation. She raised a hand with the intent to lay it on Clarke's shoulder, but realized half-way through that the blonde was too far from her to make contact. She nervously clasped her hands behind her back. Then she thought the posture was too formal for the intimate scene she was watching and let her arms hang down her sides. She blinked, not sure of why she suddenly felt like crying when she was not the one who had suffered a loss.

After several long minutes, the sounds of Clarke's sobs stopped, though the young woman was still heaving against Raven's chest. Lexa finally dared to step inside the room, and approached the radio. She stared at it, hoping that it would somehow come back to life. She understood little about how exactly it worked, but she had seen the others use it enough to know how to send a message.

She hesitated, hand hovering near the button. She glanced at the sky people. None were looking at her. Should she try? Raven had said the connection was lost, but perhaps she was wrong?

For Clarke's sake, she hoped the mechanic had been mistaken.

She bit the inside of her cheeks. Hesitation was not something she was used to. Not until she met Clarke, and found herself faced with a culture she had never learned about.

Steeling herself, she moved her hand forwards. Her mouth felt dry as she mentally repeated what she would say.

Just as her fingers brushed the button, static was abruptly broken by a loud cracking. She jumped back, her right hand gripping her sword as she crouched in a defensive stance between the device and the two embracing young women behind her. She quickly relaxed when a disjointed voice emanated from the radio, silently thanking the Spirit for answering her prayers.

''Ark… rth… He… me?…''

Lexa could not recognize the voice with all the static, so she glanced behind her. Clarke's eyes were red and puffy, but hope covered her features. She stumbled next to Lexa, half falling on the table as she hurried to press the button.

''Clarke Griffin, from Earth. We hear you! Ark, what happened?'' The blonde panted, breath short from all the conflicting emotions of the last few minutes.

The static lessened as whoever had managed to contact replied and Raven was twiddling with other buttons. Lexa guessed that this meant the connection had been only temporarily broken, and was now restored. She discretely let out a sigh of relief.

''Clarke! This is Marcus Kane. The Ark has been damaged when the Exodus was hijacked. Be careful when they arrive, do not trust Diana Sydney!'' The man's voice warned.

She saw Clarke stare dully at the radio, probably pondering whether or not to share the news. She decided to take matters into her own hands. She once again approached the table and this time she actually pushed the reply button.

''Councilor Kane, this is the Commander. We just received news from my scouts that the Exodus crashed – there were no survivors. Can you tell me what happened?'' She asked, keeping her tone professional.

She was about to start a war against the Mountain, she could not waste time dealing with political struggles of the Sky people. But it would be unfair to dismiss it all when Clarke and her friends had helped her so much and were key factors in their plans.

The blonde prevented her from releasing the button by grasping her wrist.

''Kane, was my mother aboard the ship?'' She asked in a trembling voice.

Suddenly, Clarke's hurry to contact the Ark and her despair at the news of the crash made a lot more sense. Lexa had not really cared who was on this first ship – she knew no one from this Ark, and she was used to dealing with fools in negotiations, whatever their names were. But Clarke and the others had friends and family in this spaceship. She had not paid much attention to the debates, but she had heard the healer's mother mentioned as one that might be on the ship.

They had never received the final list, as the Exodus was not supposed to leave yet. And since it had apparently been hijacked by another group, the blonde had absolutely no idea where her mother was at the moment.

And this Kane had said that the Ark was damaged. What did that mean exactly?

''Your mother is alive.'' The man immediately reassured.

Clarke's shoulders visibly relaxed at the piece of information, but Lexa remained tense. There was something in Kane's voice, in his eagerness to reassure the young woman that worried her.

''But… Well the Ark is not doing well. Diana and a huge group from Work and Farm Stations took over the Exodus as we were preparing it. They planted a bomb in the Council room as distraction – Jaha is dead, along with three other members. I was late, and it saved my life. We rushed to the Exodus, but most of Diana's people had boarded already, so she initiated launching.'' He explained haltingly.

''She… rushed the procedure. Your mother tried to open the airlock to stop it, but Diana disconnected manually. It damaged a lot of things on the Ark, most programs were still joined. The Exodus must have been similarly damaged, and it was overloaded. I guess it is not so surprising it crashed…'' He concluded weakly, sounding overwhelmed.

It was Raven who pushed the blonde aside to take control of the discussion. Lexa had watched the others as Kane explained – she had long learned that you could hear a lot of things in a voice besides the words, just as you could learn a lot by watching people's reactions to the words. Clarke and Monty showed some slight uncertainty and fear – Raven had been downright terrified and analytical. The Latina was a mechanic, and she had apparently understood a lot of unsaid things.

''This is Raven. How is the Ark? What about the oxygen levels, and basic programs of maintenance? With this kind of improper disconnection…'' She pressed.

The man sounded defeated. ''Most protocols are useless. Oxygen is very low – we have two or three days left at most. It depends on how many survivors there are. Parts of the Ark fell off, and we don't have enough power to properly launch the only functioning Exodus we have left.'' He summed up.

There was a long pause.

Raven spoke up. ''And if you use the thrusters to leave the orbit and go to Earth?''

Lexa wasn't sure what this meant, but from the shock look Clarke threw her friend, and the clenched jaw of the brunette, it was not a safe suggestion.

''The… The Ark would fall apart in the atmosphere. It would be suicide.'' Kane replied after a while.

''Most of the Ark, yeah. But some parts are stronger and should resist. Is Sinclair alive? I am sure he could figure out which ones!'' The Latina insisted.

Another man's voice answered her. ''I am here. And that… might work. I will get to it.''

Lexa felt Clarke move beside her, lurching forward slightly as if suddenly awakening from a dream.

''Raven… They won't be able to aim precisely where they land – the surviving parts will probably land in distinct places.'' She cautioned, pushing the button in order not to exclude the others from the discussion. ''We may not be able to help them, and they could land in a dangerous place.''

Azgeda, Lexa immediately thought. Or the Dead Lands. Either options weren't good. She had mostly kept the origins of her Nymph hidden, because she could not afford Clan chiefs questioning her decisions when she was about to ask them for reinforcements against the Maunon. It was why she had chosen a landing site in Trikru, and relatively close to Polis.

But at this point, she doubted the Ark would care if their arrival inconvenienced her and her Coalition.

The other man, Sinclair, answered in a tired voice. ''You don't have to worry about that, Clarke. Thanks to Newton's Third Law, the Exodus brutal launching threw us from our usual orbit – that's part of why we lost contact for a while. By the time we prepare everything and attempt to land, we won't be over the East Coast anymore.''

Lexa had no idea who Newton was and how his laws pertained to the situation, but she understood that the Ark would land much farther than expected. Clarke had used the name East Coast before, when Lexa had showed her maps of the Coalition's lands to prepare against Mount Weather, and search for a safe landing site for her people.

The blonde had even drawn a rough map she had called a planisphere, and then circled the area she called East Coast on it. She had claimed that this map represented the whole world. Lexa would have scoffed at the idea if she did not trust the young healer so completely.

She had never thought of her Coalition as small before.

It was Clarke who asked the question that was forming in her mind.

''Where will you land, then? Do you know?''

Her voice was strangled, and her eyes shiny. She was holding back tears. Lexa glanced around the room. Raven seemed sad and resigned, Monty was stunned – she was unsure of whether or not he comprehended what was being said. She belatedly realized that the other boy, Murphy, was absent. Given the time, he was probably with the Nightbloods and Titus while they practiced with one of his management simulations.

She exited briefly and gestured a guard closer, whispering to him that he should relay news of the Ark's worsening condition to the Sky boy. She had a feeling the technical talks would end soon, and everyone deserved a chance to say goodbye.

She tuned back in the discussion just in time to catch the end of the Ark's reply to Clarke's question.

''...ica, most likely. India if we are slow in our preparations. But either way, it won't be an easy landing. The Ark was not designed for this – and like you said, we won't be able to aim for a favorable ground. At least, thanks to you, we know we will be able to breath down there, and might even seek help from other survivors. They can't all be on the East Coast.''

Somehow, Lexa had a feeling this Kane was trying to ease the burden on the young people's shoulders. To insist that they had done the best they could without actually saying so. She was irritated by his convoluted ways of doing it. As a leader, one should be able to state clearly whether or not they were pleased by one of their subject's work, rather than let him or her try to decipher your meaning.

''Radios won't reach all the way across the globe, right?'' She heard the blonde ask in a resigned voice.

She saw Raven shook her head. The Latina had probably figured it out before the blonde, since this was her expertise.

No reply came from the radio. Everyone already knew the answer to Clarke's question. The young woman buried her head in her hands, elbows supporting her in front of the radio.

''This is goodbye, then.'' She stated with a sniffle. ''Can… Can you bring my mother, and Monty's parents, and Raven's friends, and…'' She paused. ''Well, anyone who has something to say to us or one of the other delinquents, I guess?'' She finished softly, glancing at her two sky people companions to see if they wanted to ask for anyone else.

It was the other man – Sinclair – who answered. ''Your mother was pretty banged up, but she is waking. Do you mind if I talk to Raven while she recovers a little?''

The blonde shook her head as she stood up. ''Of course not. I'll step out. Raven can find me when it is my turn.''

Lexa followed Clarke as she gently directed a still stunned Monty out of the room, and closed the door. The two young people sat on the floor next to the door.

She spoke up. ''Klark. I already sent for Murphy, but do you think we should warn Octavia as well?'' She was unsure of whether or not the sky girl had anyone to talk to on the Ark. Probably not, given the story Clarke had told her.

But she knew how much she had regretted never having proper goodbyes with Costia. She had no reason to refuse others the opportunity when it was in her power to offer it and cost her nothing.

The blonde smiled up at her, though the expression was pained. ''Yes, please. I don't know if she will come, but she should be told.'' She paused, her gaze seemed a bit warmer as she added. ''Mochof, Leksa.''

She nodded slightly in reply, and decided to use this opportunity to leave the blonde and her companions. This was a private time, now. She should not intrude.

''Lexa?'' She turned back when she heard Clarke's voice. ''I am sorry, but… can we deal with Lincoln and Octavia later? I understand if it's too much to ask…''

''Lincoln is my problem, just as Octavia and Bellamy's fates are yours to decide. In light of the relationship between my scout and your friend, we might have to compromise in our decisions, but I will not ignore his transgressions. I cannot have more warriors betray me without consequences. I will interrogate him on his motives – all of them – and confer with you once I reach a decision. You do not have to be here for the whole process.'' She chided gently.

She was the Commander, and she was about to go to war. No matter how much she shared Clarke's ideals, the blonde lacked the experience to recognize the situations where such ideals became a liability. The situation with the Ark meant that there could only be two fates for the Sky people in her lands: integration or banishment. Clarke and Murphy – and even Raven, to a lesser extent – were well on their way to be integrated. Octavia and Monty, she needed to see and hear more about. Bellamy… well she hoped Clarke would get over her reluctance to condemn him soon. The boy deserved death for his actions, or at least a life-long banishment in the Dead Lands. And the Ark would no longer be here to do so in her stead.

The blonde hung her head. ''You are right. Sorry. And thank you, again. For… well everything really.''

Clarke seemed almost uncomfortable as she said that, so Lexa just nodded as she walked away.

Though their stories were vastly different, she had noticed a few common points. They had both been raised mostly away for others of their age group, and with heavy expectations to become leaders. She doubted the blonde was much more used than her to thanking other people or apologizing to them. As leaders, you made decisions and took actions. You were the one to whom others offered apologies or gratitude. Your own words could hold a lot of power, and giving thanks or an apology to someone could mean that you gave him power over you, by recognizing a debt. It had to be done sparsely.

She was unsure how much Clarke herself was aware of this. It was typically the sort of thing that only experience – or at least someone with personal experience – could teach you. For all her intellectual knowledge and her sound reasonings, Clarke was still very inexperienced. She also had a feeling that the blonde did not enjoy her role as a leader, and would prefer to dedicate herself to healing and teaching – she had certainly earned the Natblidas affection and trust. She wondered how much this had weighed in her initial decision to flee her former companions rather than confront Bellamy. Consciously or not.

The guard she sent to fetch Murphy came back alone as she reached the end of the corridor. She stopped and looked at him, waiting for his explanation. He saluted her before speaking.

''Murfi claimed that he had no one to talk to, and did not believe this matter warranted him interrupting the Nightbloods lesson, unless you decided otherwise.''

She was mildly surprised by this – though this certainly explained the boy's sarcastic attitude. Once she pushed pass the initial surprise and dismissed the warrior, she was mostly pleased. Murphy was still overly sarcastic – a trait most sky people seemed to share, to both her amusement and annoyance – but had quickly lost the insolent edge of his behavior. Oh, he was toeing the line quite often, but he had learned to show appropriate respect in front of others when the situation warranted it.

She hoped he would accept what she would propose for him.

Meanwhile, she had reached the room where Anya usually resided when in Polis. She knew she had a lot to discuss with her former mentor. Last time, she had not had much time for a discussion, and was still unsure of where she stood with Clarke. She had not missed the silent exchange between the two blondes earlier, and hoped their relationship would grow in some sort of friendship. It was a shame Anya had not had a chance to witness Clarke's more calm and protective behavior.

She knocked on Anya's door to signal her presence, and entered. As expected, her general was sitting at the table while Tris kept an eye on the two prisoners. She felt a sliver of guilt for leaving those two in Anya's hands with so few instructions when she followed Clarke.

She gestured to one warrior to step up behind her after greeting Anya. She decided to address Octavia first. She was unsure how long this radio would last in the current situation of the Ark.

''Okteivia kom Skaikru. Your home in the sky is crumbling. If you have anyone you wish to say goodbye to, my warrior will escort you to the radio. You are not to leave the Tower until I have made a decision about you.''

There was no point in mincing her words. If she judged by the girl's clothes and general deportment, she hoped to become a warrior. Warriors should always be aware of death, and never afraid to acknowledge it.

The girl seemed startled when she was addressed directly by the Commander – it seemed Lincoln or Anya had taught her some things about their society – and floundered for a few seconds before replying.

''I… Err… I thank you for the offer, Heda, but there is no one in the Ark with whom I would share goodbyes.'' She continued meekly. ''I would like a chance to see my brother, though, if he is here.''

She stared at Octavia. ''Your brother has attempted to kill at least three people. Though none of them were part of my own people, you will understand my distrust of him. However, part of my reasons to be here is to relieve my general of her guarding duties – Lincoln will await his judgement in a cell while I attend to other matters. Though I have no reasons to put you in a cell, I do not trust you to roam free either. You may either go with your lover, or in a guarded guest room until a decision has been made.''

The brunette shrugged. ''If I have to be locked up either way, I'd rather be with Lincoln and close to my brother. At least I won't be alone.'' She said in a dejected tone.

Lexa nodded. With the two sitting close together, she had expected as much. She gave instructions to the warrior to escort them, and insisted that they should not be mistreated – Lincoln might have a rough time later, but now was not it.

With the two prisoners out of the way, she closed the door and sat at the table across from Anya. Tris took a position on a chair against the wall, close to her mentor. She had not spent much time with Tris, as she was busy in Polis, but could not help a feeling of kinship with the girl that was mentored by Anya as she herself had once been.

''So, what is all this I have heard about you being protected by the Nymph and a Natblida dying? I mean, I saw Clarke's powers last time, but can you truly trust her so close to you?'' Anya immediately asked.

She took her time before replying, thinking about why, exactly, she trusted the blonde. At first, she had been mostly intrigued by her, and why the Spirit would so suddenly give her an ally that came with so much problems. Trust was not a word she would have used to describe what she felt for Clarke then. There had been insightful conversations that hinted at a possible friendship, but no real trust. She needed the blonde by her side, because of all the stories spreading. And though she had rejected Titus' proposal to kill off all of Clarke's people, her practical mind had considered it, along with many other options.

Ultimately, she had been satisfied that the healer was as eager as her to settle the issues between them and their people. She had accepted several tasks that would help Lexa, in exchange of contacting her people. That was when trust had first seemed possible. Possible. Not actually present. The young woman was still tight-lipped about her personal history, then. And Lexa was still wary. That was why she had not even considered showing her the passage between their rooms and the Nightbloods' quarters.

But then Clarke had stumbled on her private time with Aden and Strina – a rare time when Lexa and the Commander could be in harmony. She had been unsure at first, wondering if she should move the healer to another room. The blonde had not noticed her hesitation, instead focusing her attention on the children.

Not her novitiates. But the children in them that most people forgot about once they stepped inside the Tower for the first time at two or three years of age. She had read an old story to them, putting her heart in the task, much as she had seen her do before with healing.

That was when she had started to trust Clarke, she realized. Because she knew how much she valued life in general, and because she had immediately and naturally included her Natblidas in her own circle. Even more so than she had Raven and Murphy.

''She saved Aden when those warriors betrayed me. Would have saved Strina as well, if she could have reached her in time. She comes from a culture that is… vastly different, but also similar in some ways. She values the lives of all people, as Heda protects all. I can understand why the Spirit chose her. You know the Flame has many projects. With Clarke, some of these may happen sooner than I or the previous Hedas could have ever dreamed of.'' She eventually replied.

She knew there was no point in saying more. Anya was not one to be swayed by words alone. She would judge Clarke through her actions.

''There seems to be a lot of… unusual troop movements near Tondisi and the Mountain.'' Her general observed.

She nodded. ''Some of Clarke's former companions escaped the Mountain and brought us important information. We have been plotting the Maunon's demise since then.'' She stated with a cautious smile.

She was confident their plan was sound, but refused to show premature smugness. Besides, the fall of the Mountain was only the beginning of the troubles. She would need Clarke's mystical presence in the aftermath.

Anya's eyebrows rose slightly. ''You intend to bring down the Mountain before winter truly arrives?''

She shrugged. ''Or when spring melts the snow. I am waiting for the Mountain to make the first move – all the preparations are done.'' She felt more somber thoughts enter her mind and frowned. ''This victory will not be without sacrifice.''

''War rarely ends without innocents sharing in the bloodshed.'' Anya acknowledged gently, unconsciously slipping back into a stance she had often assumed when Lexa was her second, leaning towards her.

There was silence for a few minutes, until Anya voiced her conclusions. ''You are not calling on the clans to wage war. You are only using your own warriors, and some of the Trikru.''

''I will send orders for reinforcements once the Mountain attacks.''

Anya did not question how she was so certain that their mostly hidden enemy would strike soon. She focused on the backslash they both knew would happen.

''But you do not expect to need them. Many clans will not be happy. The fight against the Mountain was one of the reasons the Coalition came to be. They will feel slighted in their right to demand a blood debt.'' She warned.

Needlessly. Lexa was well aware of these problems. She had not broached this particular subject with Clarke yet. The blonde was used to a society where a leader could be changed relatively easily, but were the people was unique. Her own situation as leader of the Coalition was vastly different. She had to manage the sensibilities and prides of twelve leaders, and convince them that doing what she wanted them to do was the right thing. Yes, Clarke had attended a few meetings with ambassadors and picked up on alliances – but she had no idea how to integrate those in the whole equation.

So, she had decided to take one matters at a time. Now that the plan and preparations were over, she would introduce the healer to the finer subtleties of politics. She hoped that Clarke would elect to remain in Polis – especially now that the Ark would land far away – and act as a teacher, healer and adviser for her and her Natblidas.

''The plan requires stealth. It is impossible to be stealthy with a huge army made up of warriors from clans that were still at war four years ago.'' She answered with a sigh.

''Is there no other way?''

''It is the way that will enable us to win with the minimum of losses, if all goes well. We could wait for all the Maunons to leave their home, but that would cost Trikru a lot, and we would be faced with their heavy weapons in open ground. We hope to strike when they do not expect it, and seize control of their most dangerous weapons before they can use them in battle. We also hope they will exhaust their missiles on the villages we have mostly evacuated.'' She briefly explained.

Now that Anya had completed her mission of finding the traitorous scout, she could send her with Indra to oversee the first actions the generals would have to lead while she traveled from Polis with Clarke, Raven and Monty.

''You will be in charge of one of the teams. Indra can lead the attack in the tunnels. You will accompany the sky girl, Raven, on her mission. We can discuss the details of the plan later.'' She added with a glance in Tris' direction.

She liked the girl, but she was not about to explain such a sensitive plan to a still training warrior. Anya accepted her words with a nod and a furrowed brow, probably wondering what the sky girl's role was – and whether she could be trusted to accomplish it.

She spent a while longer with her old mentor discussing Lincoln, then moved on to more personal subjects when Tris decided to go find herself something to eat in the cantina. She confessed how hard Strina's death had been on her, and how Clarke's support had helped both her and the Nightbloods. She talked of her own shaken trust in her warriors after the unexpected betrayal. Yes, she had expected some sort of retaliation after executing the Azgeda ambassador, but not like this. Not from people who had sworn to protect her.

She did not, however, share her intentions to implement a spying network. After studying the idea – she had read the book Clarke had given her, the Art of War, and had agreed on the merits of the advices it gave – she had decided that this network would be too long to truly build to waste it solely on Azgeda. Yes, it was currently the main threat to the Coalition, but the Queen was the real problem – she hoped Roan would be more reasonable. By the time her spies were in place, Nia might have already died. For all she knew, the Shadow Valley, or even the Trikru could become the new threat to the stability of the Coalition in the future.

But she knew even Anya expected some partiality on her part towards Trikru. Her mentor would never understand why she intended to spy on her own original clan as she would on Azgeda. Heda's absolute neutrality was not achieved yet.

It was actually one of the advantages of Clarke's insight. The young woman was often blinded when it came to her own people – like when she had wanted to rush against the Mountain, or hesitated to judge Bellamy – but she was not inclined to favor either of the clans. The only prejudice she had was against Azgeda, because of their previous ambassador and Strina's death. But that had not prevented her from healing any man, woman or child from Azgeda that had come to her, begging for the powers of the Nymph to cure an old illness or wound.

Even Titus had been raised in a clan – the Desert clan – and old, ingrained prejudice sometimes colored his advices. Thankfully, his years of experience had washed away most of it, but some of the most insidious ones remained. Just like she knew she tended to distrust Azgeda and Delfi, because they were old enemies of the Trikru.