EPOV
I followed Victoria all the way to Rio de Janeiro and lost her trail, I'm in a large town finding solitude in dark attic.
The place was full of rats, I feed on them occasionally to avoid attacking humans, Misery was like a dark cloud hanging above my head
Remining me daily of what I left behind," I tried to find any distraction to make being alone easier
I told my family I would stay in touch but I haven't spoken to them in weeks or maybe longer, I completely forgot that time exists.
Victoria's self preserving gift made it impossible to be steps ahead of her, whenever I thought I was closing in she managed to escape
I should have known that this tracking hunt was doomed to fail.. just like attempt to stay put.
I tried to hold on, but I can't stay away anymore, I want to go home
It's hard to admit that I have failed, I tried but I can't do this anymore,
I got myself up from the floor, the dust that sticked on my clothing was like a thick grey wool. not even remembering how long I've laid on the ground
I need to get myself looking representable when I book a flight at the airport. A flight home where my heart is.
The idea felt so healing, Just be home with his family and never be apart, I know that my family will never be angry with me but I still feel that I should try and make things right with them. I've hurt Esme my mother the most. She loves all of us, she loves every single one of us differently but nobody in the family is not worthy of her love. It's so unfair for what I've done to her.
What I've done to Bella, I'm so afraid to return I wished came sooner, But assuming everyone who doesn't want me back in Forks are doing fine felt like a barrier, The Black family are happy that I'm gone, I kind of feel guilty for ruining their day again when they get the news the Cullen's are back.
And Bella, my wonderful Bella, thinking about you feels so healing. but will returning to her will be healing for her as well? Will telling her the truth makes it easier to be forgiven?
I suppose I could see how she's doing, If she moved on leading a happy life I'll leave again, I'll clear my head in Denali without letting the coven know,
after that I'll reunite with my family in New York, But If she's not happy or alone, if there is a part of her that would accept me back I'll stay.
Right, I better go and find something clean to wear..
-/-
Edward walked through the busy alley of Rio in the middle of the night, the large Jesus statue was seen all the in the attic where he stayed in.
Civilians and tourists were celebrating there was a special holiday called Dia De muertos, So he missed out on Bella's birthday, Edward looked at several shops as he walked passed the people Maybe there is something Bella would want. Or maybe he could leave present choosing to Alice.
At a small souvenir vendor he bought cheap but decent looking clothing to wear, There were shirts with colorful skulls on it but tried to look for something that doesn't draw too much attention to himself.
A dark colored one was folded underneath a handful of clothing it has a symbol of Brazil on the shirt in silver but it could pass for a casual outfit, the trousers were at the length of his knees, for once he doesn't care that he won't look stylish in them, He's thirsty and just want the warmth of his mother, and be held by his father as they welcome him back. Now that he's ready to go home felt so homesick.
" I'll take these" Edward said in Portuguese trying to smile at the seller, and his things were placed in a bag,
" You're a tourist?"
Edward only nodded.
" Your costume is simple yet impressive" the seller said.
" Sorry?" Edward asked confused.
" You are dressed up as a dead man right?" The seller asked
"Yes, Uh.. I'm a zombie, You like it?" Edward said trying to be nonchalant. He felt embarrassed for being mistaken for a man playing dress up for this holiday.
"I do, how do you make those large purple eye bags? Is it makeup"? The seller asked.
" yes, my sister is a skilled makeup artist" Edward said wanting to go.
" I have to go" Edward said when he noticed more questions were on the way, like does your sister has business card.
He needs to hunt hopefully there is still wild life to find at this hour. Edward went to a beach where they have showers in the bathroom he walked passed a mirror and looked at his face, He does look like a dead man.
Paler than pale, Even his eyes bags had eye bags, they were dark purple and his eyes were black as Opal. His mouth was dry with small cracks, he can't go to the airport like this.
He placed his bag down and got inside a shower, the water was ice cold but when the dirt became less visible in the water going down the drain he knew he's almost done.
It almost took an hour to get the dirt off him, not very surprising since he has been a dust collector for months.
Maybe tomorrow morning after he has hunted he can leave, hopefully it will be enough to make the dire look on his face lessen.. or he could drink from the worst type of humans again, His eyes might be reddish but he can make an excuse that he has contact lenses in. After all It's a holiday season.
His strong desire to be home burned inside like magma, maybe Carlisle will be disappointed knowing that he drank from humans but at least there will be 50 less Pedophiles and rapists in Brazil.
-/-
Edward arrived in Seattle, he pretended to sleep as the plane took him home, behind his eyes lids he could see Bella, smiling at him, and his family. he's one car drive closer to her and asked a cab driver to take him to the nearest car dealer. He rather drive to Forks himself.
Raindrops dripped on the cars window, the rainy atmosphere shows this is not a hallucination, he's here in Forks.
Edward tapped the steering wheel with his fingers as he waited for the traffic light to go green.
It felt like he got banished and then granted permission to go home, Forks.. his true home when he drove past the billboard of Forks where it welcomes its visitors or residents returning home Edward felt so happy. That he could stay away from his true home so long is a mystery.
Edward smells like the minty leaves and pines of the forest, it left a lovely perfume but he still wanted to take a shower. He wanted to soak up Bella's scent like a sponge when they reunite.
Edward hopes that she could look past the anger she might feel towards him and just hug him tight. He's not here to interfere, he just wants to prove himself right that she can live without him. It might hurt if she rejects his desire to make amends but she doesn't have to accept him. She can yell at him all she wants, he would gladly take any form of name calling, all that matters is that she's leading a happy life.
After that he'll watch over her for a year or two until he finally leaves her be, being back and seeing the shops that hints he's close to his address creates a sensation that he belongs somewhere on this Earth.
The cloudy little town is like an old flame. A valley in his heart, Bella would be his sun.
If she doesn't want to forgive his betrayal then his existence would be an eternal night but it's a small price to pay compared to losing her for good because he's too much of a danger.
Edward arrived at a large creek with a waterfall and came out of hiding when he dispose his clothing. He covered his privates with his hands, he knows nobody is there to watch him besides some curious Elks but it's a habit he kept when he was still a human.
The water was colder than his skin but it felt great, the waterfall from above massaged his scalp as his hair turned silk obscuring his vision. He felt warm inside thinking about Bella joining him for a swim.
As he viewed the trees from where he was sitting while the water is rushing down his frame he wonders how he should do things, should he go to her right away, or maybe leave a letter with some flowers and let decide if she still wants him?
Then he might have to wait until she responds, at least if he approach her now he has the answer. If she rejects him he'll leave but looks after her behind the scenes. Something he should have done.
If she says yes, he'll spend an eternity by her side. Worshipping every second she grands him. No matter what Bella chooses he won't be far.
Edward had a towel around his neck after hoisting himself in a new pair of jeans. His dashboard vibrated and looked inside his car, his phone was ringing and looked who it was. It was Alice, she probably had a vision of him returning to Forks.
Edward placed a blouse on before answering.
"Edward" Alice Said.
"Yes?" Edward responds, Alice noticed he seems a lot happier.
"Edward..
"Its for the best if you just come to Denali," Alice said.
"Why?" What is it? " Edward wonders and his mood drops a little.
"Well Its just that.." Alice said.
"Is Bella furious with me?" Edward asks and for once he felt terrified. Maybe the hallucinations are just foreshadowing what will come.
"Doesn't she want to see me?" Under any circumstance ever?" Edward asks when Alice only stuttered in response.
"Alice just say it!" Does Bella hate me?" If that's so then it won't stop me from seeing her" Edward said.
"It's not that" Alice said.
"Then what is?" Edward snaps, "Is Bella harmed?" Edward asks as he began to worry deeply about her.
"No, Charlie passed away" Alice said becoming saddened.
"Bella just left the funeral and I don't think it's a good idea to show up" Alice said.
"How?" Edward Said not expecting this.
"Cancer" Alice said.
Edward became saddened too, he flinched when Alice uttered that. He reminded it of himself when he was on his sickbed with the Spanish influenza. Carlisle saved him but nobody was there to save Charlie. If Edward had known he would have bitten him to save Bella from such a grief.
Edward mourned Charlie briefly, after meeting Bella he wanted to see Charlie to sincerely apologize for the way he left his daughter behind. He'll never have that chance.
But hopefully Charlie can forgive him now.
"I'm sorry," Edward Said and closes the phone. Edward felt like it's going to be harder for Bella to forgive, he has the ability to save Charlie.. if he at least let Carlisle stay.
Edward left like a Bastard, even worse than that. Did He left Bella when Charlie was sick? Did Bella know? If she did why didn't she tell him?
"What if Bella feels like she had nothing to live for?" He has to see her, maybe it will stop her from taking her own life. Maybe together if she allows him she can mourn and recover steadily while he holds her hand and nurture her internal wounds of her loss, and also help repair the relationship he ruined.