Bella went mellow in his embrace, it felt so securing.
"Will you make love to me?" Bella muffles in his chest.
"Hmm?" Edward responded cradling. He didn't really catch that.
"Make love tonight?" Bella squeaked like a child asking for something.
"If you'll marry me soon after" Edward said, He wants to be married before he does anything sexual due to his upbringing but on the other half he doesn't want to deny her anything, if this makes her believe in his love then he'll do it. He'll put all of his morals and beliefs aside, face any danger to prove that.
"Marriage.. " Bella said.
"If it opens old wounds I won't propose, but when it comes to sex, I would like to be married first" Edward said.
"But I can't commit myself to you with all my heart"
"I still love Jacob" Bella said. "I really don't know which one of you to choose"
"Then don't" Edward said.
"I shouldn't?" Bella wonders.
"Don't choose, you can have us both" Edward said.
"If you want to be with Jacob I'll be your second husband, I'll do it for you" Edward said, His eyes wasn't saddened this time, he was happy and supportive towards a polygamous relationship for Bella.
"So you'll have to share me with Jacob?" Bella said.
"I hope not for long, I can't stand him but if this will make it easier to be with me then it's a small sacrifice to have you back" Edward said.
"Jacob looked after you, stitched you back up when I left you exposed to all kinds of danger, you will always have a bond because of that" Edward said.
"You're human Bella.. I understand" Edward said.
"But Edward this is not how it should be, I should marry one person" Bella said.
"It's either you or Jacob but I don't know who I love more" Bella admits.
"You were willing to be Jacobs second wife remember?" Weather if it would make you happy" You didn't want to lose him that's why you were open for it" Edward said.
"And I don't want to lose you" Edward said.
"I need you here but I need you to be happy the most"
"Okay," Bella said.
"After couple Therapy I'll think about what I should do next.
"I need time to think because I'm in a pickle " Bella said.
"Bella There is no need for that"
"you deserve the best of Both worlds, I'll respect every decision you want to make without any interference"
"But..
"Do want to be with me forever?" Whether we get married or not?" Edward asked.
"Yes" Bella Said.
"And you'll let me turn you in the future?" Edward asked.
"Yes" Bella said.
"I don't want to die, If there is no heaven then I won't see Charlie anyway" Bella said.
"I feel scared of oblivion all of the sudden" Bella said.
"Don't be" Edward said.
"I promise I will change you myself." Edward said, he was happy, now that Bella gave consent to be her creator he doesn't have to explain the horrible news that she'll die of cancer. It was something Edward struggled with he didn't know how to tell her without causing turmoil. But he will tell her the truth after she changed, there should be no secrets between them.
"But promise me one thing first" Edward said.
"What's that? Bella asked.
"I want you to enjoy your life every second as a human while going to college, I won't go to college but I'll stay in contact with you" Edward said.
"Okay I promise.." Bella said.
"Why won't you go to College?" Bella asked.
"If there is a chance that I'm going to be your second husband. Or If you won't have me at all..
there also needs to be space for Jacob, he hates me and I don't think he wants to see me at college" Edward said.
Bella isn't sure if Jacob wants to come to college with her and didn't want Leah to hate her more but Edward wants to give her the best of 2 worlds.
"I understand, but don't forget me when I leave to Seattle" Bella said.
"Never, I'll call you everyday.. I'll visit you during breaks" Edward said.
"And you can call me if you ever need something I'll always be where you can find me" Edward said.
"You really don't want to come to Seattle?" Bella asked.
"I do," Edward said. "But a distance between us is needed " Edward said.
"And what If Jacob doesn't want to go to college?" Bella said.
"He will" Edward said.
"Edward I promised you I'll live my human life to the fullest but I want you to promise something too" Bella said.
Edward waited for her to continue and held on to her hand eyeing her. "Anything"
"I still want you to come" Bella said.
"Bella" Edward Said in a tired way, "Do you really want Jacob and I to fight each other?"
Bella smiled shrugging, "No but I need you there"
"Fine, I'll come next year in February" Edward said,
"Then I'll wait until February" Bella said.
"No!" Edward protested, "Remember what you promised me. Keep it"
"Okay," Bella said.
"After University I don't want us to be apart ever again" Bella said.
"We won't, I've been looking for houses and mother found a cottage In Arizona" Edward said.
"If you like the house I'll ask mother to purchase it"
"But It wouldn't be convenient for you" Bella said.
"I know but you need the sun. You're homesick And I need you to be happy" Edward said.
"Thank you so much, but I need to talk about this with Jacob, If he still wants me I want us to move to Hawaii after University.
"Yes I miss Arizona but with you both I can make anywhere on Earth my new home" Bella said.
"Right, I need to hunt.. be careful and return to me soon" Edward said, He wasn't thirsty his eyes were still brown but her desire to continue to make sacrifices hurts him.
He wished Bella would just choose him only so that she has nothing to be considerate about. He doesn't like sharing Bella but telling her that will only makes things harder for her.
Because Jacob saved Bella many times, Edward will have to tolerate having Jacob all over her.
-/-
Bella met up with Jacob at La Push she stepped out her car and Jacob went up to her, Bella reached arms towards him and Jacob held her tight.
Being with Jacob makes her heart leap, she doesn't want to be apart from him anymore. Hopefully her request won't ruin things now that their friendship is going steady again.
It was a little cold in La Push still mainly due to the Ocean, but Jacob holding her made it better.
So much taller than Edward and a lot more fun but there is a part of her that can't let Edward go.
"Bella Im so happy to see you" Jacob said.
"So am I, do you have any good news? You seem very excited about something" Bella wonders.
"Yes, I want to marry you" Jacob said.
"As your second wife, yes?" Bella said agreeing.
"No, my first" Jacob said. "I want you only"
Bella stuttered looking at Jacob confused.
"But you got imprinted on" Bella said.
"I'm resisting it, you're the only woman I want to be with" Jacob said.
"No Jae you will hurt Leah, she already hates me.. I don't want things to be any worse" Bella said.
"She's not going to harm you while I'm still here" Jacob said assuring.
"I'll move from the reservation and we'll live together in Seattle after you graduated" Jacob said.
"And your family?" Bella said.
"I'll call them, besides most of them will live in Hawaii, so Will my Father including the ones I'm closest to.
"And Seth?" Bella wonders.
"Sue likes Hawaii so Seth will go with her" Jacob said.
"You're pretty much the only one I got" Jacob said.
" I just feel awful for Leah, are you sure that you want to leave her?" Bella said.
"Very sure," Jacob said assuring.
"Marrying her wouldn't feel right, I love you so much" Jacob said.
" I love you too Jae, and I want to marry you after graduation but I need you to ask one favor and please don't get angry" Bella said.
"Okay" Jacob said and his smile faded a little feeling a knot in his stomach, 'please don't ask me to let the Cullens be present at our ceremony' Jacob thought
"If we Marry.. Can Edward be my second husband?" Bella carefully asked.
Jacobs face hardened, her request was worse than he thought,
"You love him.." Jacob said bitter, even after all the things he has done..
" I love you more Jae but I can't let Edward go.. It's hard to explain" Bella said.
"If that's so then why include that Leech? You know very well I hate him" Jacob said.
"Because He loves me more than anyone in this world, he's not going to find a different mate he's just going to stay alone, that's something I don't want for him" Bella said.
"That's not your problem Bella, if he stays alone then it's because of his own doing" Jacob said.
"The idea that he gets to touch you, Is sickening.. at times I wished we never fell in love Bella, I can't believe you're doing this to me right now" Jacob said becoming irate.
Bella winched when Jacob said that, but she collected herself, she knows he doesn't really mean that and continued speaking.
"Remember I wanted to do the same thing for you, I wanted to be your second wife and tolerate a polygamous marriage" Bella points out wanting to calm him.
"Bella.. I would give you everything in the world to see you happy but I rather have you marry a human than that bastard" Jacob huffed.
"I understand, but I can't choose between you, I tried but when I'm with Edward I long to be held by you,
"and when I'm with you I miss him" Bella said.
"I don't feel complete without you Jacob, But I'll never be truly happy without Edward.
"I need you both, Like Oxygen and the sun" Bella said, tears started to form and Jacob hated to see her so torned up about this.
"If I let that Leech.. Edward" Jacob corrected himself.
"Be your second husband, then what?" I don't want to see him" Jacob said.
"You don't have to, he's willing to keep his distance so that I can focus on University" Bella said.
"What If I want to live in Hawaii as well?" Jacob asked.
"I'll come with you, Edward will rent a house in the cloudy area and you can choose when you would like to have me, during night time or day" Bella said.
"Please don't let me choose between you because I can't" Bella said when Jacob didn't seem to warm up to the idea.
Jacob closed his eyes briefly exhaling "I'll think about it" Jacob said reluctant.
"No, It's either a yes or no. I'm putting you on the highest pedestal, even higher than Edward to have you.
"Edward agreed to become a second husband so that I can choose you"
"A human life is too short to keep on waiting" Bella said.
" I understand you're a bit angry with me, It's hard to hear that I want him even though you've been so good to me but If you won't do it then I respect your decision" Bella said.
"But I can't marry Edward with you on my mind every moment,
If you tell me right now that you hate me then moving on would be easier, but I know you don't.. you will always love me" Bella said.
Bella breathed out when Jacob didn't respond, he seemed so lost in thoughts, He's distant and Bella regretted bringing this up but there is no turning back.
"If you don't want me anymore after this then it's okay"
"but If you still want to..even a small part of you then It's now or never" Bella added.
" I don't understand .." Jacob said not looking at her, he remained focused on the sea to avoid saying anything in anger.
"Well Choose me or Leah" Bella said,
"If you choose Leah I'll be your second wife so that you never have to live without me, I'm willing to do that for you" Bella added.
"So that you can live in peace, you'll secure the werewolf bloodline and you can have me."
"Can you do the same for me?" I know I ask a lot of you but..please " Bella whimpered.
Jacob then understands that he's being unfair to Bella, If he'll imprint on another person in this life time then his feelings for Bella will change. He will always love her but he will love his imprinted mate more if she doesn't fight it off.
"Bella, you're so self sacrificing I can tell this hurts you and I don't want you to be in pain or feel selfish for wanting to be happy" Jacob said.
"I'll have you as my second wife so that Edward can be your first husband" Jacob said.
"Because of Leah?" Bella wonders.
"No, I will break up with Leah soon, until I imprint you're the only person I want to be with" Jacob said.
"So you'll leave to imprint soon?" Bella asked.
"In September until October, I'll stay in Forks to do so but regardless what happens I'll see you at college in October" Jacob said.
"I need to keep the tribe safe" Jacob added.
Jacob can still imprint, she'll be so jealous when that girl will receive all of Jacob's love and 's painful But he's right, It's better to prepare for it than end up being heartbroken again. She doesn't want to feel animosity towards anyone Jacob ends up with so she will accept that Jacob could leave her some day.
"Promise you will always love me" Bella said. The idea of Jacob imprinting changing their whole dynamic would be another blow to the heart.
"Yes," with everything I have and I always will" Jacob said.
"Jae" Bella chirped and Jacob held her face they kissed, There is no part of her that desires to be with Edward because now her life is complete she gets to experience love from both people she can't live without.
Hopefully now that she got everything she wants things in life will be better.
Another day broke through at the reservation, It was early and some members of the pack where in the forest seeing if they can pick up Leah's scent. Jacob wondered where Leah went, on the night of their argument Jacob felt a bit bad that he said no to sex and her room was empty.
Leah always leaves for hours to be alone but never a whole day. Jacob hopes he didn't make her leave for good. After all this is her home too.
Jacob went looking for and when there was no trail he went back and hopefully she will at least give a call home.
In the afternoon Jacob picked up her scent and went to see her, at the creek Leah was with cupped her hands drinking from the stream.
"Where have you been?" Jacob asked,
"You didn't bother to look for me, So I don't see how that's any of your business" Leah said.
"Sue was worried" Jacob said.
"And you?" Leah said snappy.
"All of us were," Jacob argues back.
"Look, Leah. I'm sorry for last night.. but please don't leave like that, If anything happened to you I would feel guilty.. especially because it's my fault you left distraught" Jacob said.
"I can look after myself unlike that Leech lover I'm a warrior. besides it's very obvious that you don't care about me" Leah said.
Jacob told her many times not to disrespect Bella like that but didn't want to start an argument and make Leah run away again.
"Leah, I understand you feel like an outcast but you are creating that animosity with others yourself" Jacob said.
"Just look at Seth, He makes friends with everyone and He's just a social friendly person who doesn't dwell in self pity" Jacob said.
"Sam is serious, doesn't say much but he has a gentle heart who accepts all of my friends. He's respectful something you are not" Jacob said.
"Emily is not the families favorite but she's motherly towards the others.
"I'm not a golden child either, I had to work harder to gain respect than anyone else but Sam was still crowned as Leader and I had to form my own pack under him to cope with the disappointment"
"but I'm not sitting here feeling sorry for myself and expect others to hand me things for free"
"You weren't even bothered to join for dinner just because Bella prepared it. It's not us who is rejecting you, you are rejecting us" Jacob said.
"Bella wants to be your friend, I wanted things to work between us when you imprinted so that I can let Bella go, but you are the one who treats others like garbage but expect those people to be nice to you whenever you are in a good mood" Jacob said.
"Leah just start with the person in the mirror and maybe then your life will change" Jacob added.
But Leah doesn't seem to try and place the blame on herself too, she refuses to admit that her own behavior's is the reason why people don't want her.
"I don't want this anymore" Jacob said, "I'm sorry but I'm fighting to reject the imprint"
"Why? You said it yourself that it's important to create more werewolves" Leah said.
"I will help creating more werewolves with you to secure the bloodline, but marrying you is not part of my hearts desire." Jacob said.
"I don't want to hurt you by admitting this but lying to you will hurt you even more
"Being imprinted on doesn't create true love for you, I'm drawn to you Leah I probably always will but I'm not in love"
"The only person I want to be with is Bella, " Jacob said.
"Its the Leech she wants not you Jacob" Leah said.
"Don't you see that she's just playing games with you? " Leah Said.
"I don't think so, She decided to leave when I begged her to stay, She even gave me her blessing to be with you" Jacob said.
"And I don't want to stay anymore" Jacob admitted.
"So you'll just breed with me like Im some biological vendor machine and then you're going back to her.. " Leah Said starting to tear up but remained looking stoic to avoid showing weakness.
"I'll be a father to the children I bring to this world and I will love and raise them. But that's the only future we'll have together" Jacob said.
Leah knew deep inside that she can't change and it eliminated all possible pity towards the Swan girl. She needs to die. She's a rotten apple, Vampires almost killed the whole tribe because she thought it was a good idea to wander in the forests knowing very well hikers go missing there.
"Well you either accept me like this or you don't, I'm not going to kiss anyone's ass to be liked, If I need to be different than myself to be accepted then you never truly cared about me anyway" Leah said blinking tears away and Jacob wanted touch her shoulders but Leah's warning look made him lower his hands.
"I'm leaving" Leah said.
"Where?" Jacob asked but there was no response.
"Don't, I'll leave if I'm the problem I'll just stay with family members in Canada" Jacob said.
"You're not the problem, " Leah said. "Bella is"
"I don't want her here but since you do whatever the hell you want anyway I shouldn't make things harder for myself and just stay away from the reservation" Leah said.
"Bella doesn't have to come here, I'll stay with her instead, your mother needs you" Jacob said.
"Please just stop talking, you're causing me nothing but grief and I really don't need your advise" Leah said.
Leah went to her house and Jacob assumed she's going to pack things. Jacob wished he could lie to her to make her stay, he doesn't want to see Leah all alone, She can be part of the pack if she would just change. But she won't.
Hopefully Leah will come back soon, If not then maybe during her journey she'll imprint successfully this time.
Leah realized that she shouldn't feel any pity towards the Swan Girl and she deserves everything that is coming her way. On a writing notebook Leah written down every path that leads to the reservation and treaty line. The information is needed to prevent Bella from crossing it.
After that she went to the Hoh rain forest and waited. A familiar scent was picked up and Leah moved further into the forest.
Two feet landed on the ground behind Leah and eyed the individual satisfied that they are only one step away from their revenge. And best of all nobody will suspect her from having anything to do with the Swan girls disappearance.
"Did you get everything I asked you?"
"Yes" Leah Said.
"If I remain close to you none of them will know about you being here, Not even that fortune teller."
"Good.."
-/-
Edward viewed himself in a mirror wearing a dark colored long sleeved shirt with a zipper, Edward touched the zipper and thinks about the moments at the Meadows.
He'll just pull it down when the sunlight shines over him to give Bella a quick reveal. If she wants to see more than that she Will If not then it's fine too.
Bella thinks he's beautiful like that but Edward has always felt a bit self conscious about his self image He wished he built some muscles before he became a vampire, He'll be forever lanky and he doesn't like it much. But according to the relationship counselor it's important to replace bad memories with good ones at the same place where the bad one took place so that healing will move through her memories as well.
What else has he ruined? Oh right the Holiday seasons, Her birthday and everything else that came up during his absence. He wonder if she'll ever trust him again.
Bella is still hesitant, once burned twice shy she knows the things he said are lies but it still came from his mouth, Edward will be patient and give her all the reassurance she needs.
like a glass that has been broken.. if you put it together there will always be reminders that it has been broken once, Bella was broken.
But hopefully with counseling Bella can accept him without being afraid that he's going to hurt her.
At the Meadows Bella followed Edward when he stepped out of the Volvo and pulled the zipper down.
"Okay give me a moment" Edward said and Bella waited until he reached the flower field. Each time it becomes more beautiful seeing him like that.
"Come" Edward said and Bella came,
Bella cupped his face and the sparkles shined through her hands like a golden glitter lamp. Then she traveled to the shoulders moving his shirt out of the way.
She admired him further, he sparkles the least on the serratus, but the most on his face and arms.
The sparkling sound of his skin was so soothing, If love had a sound then this would be it.
Edward remains still, not wanting her to let go, She was rubbing and squeezing him against his chest like she's giving a massage, but he'll let her do it as long as she wishes.
Edward opened his eyes looking down at her, she was still busy inspecting his frame in awe.
"Why does this fascinate you?" Edward wondered when Bella feasts her eyes on the glittering gold particles, When he saw his father sparkle he didn't view it as marvelous there was a fight or flight reaction and he doesn't understand why Bella isn't at least freaked out by him like this.
"It's nothing" Bella said.
"Tell me." Edward said.
And Bella was a little non responsive.
"Please," Edward asked
" I don't want you to think I'm weird" Bella said.
"What's the worst thing that can happen?" Edward said.
"You being annoyed with me, you've always hated everything about being a vampire" Bella said.
"Well not anymore, ever since you forgave me I no longer hate myself like I used to or loathe being a vampire" Edward said.
"Answer me" Edward asked
"You know I worship the sun" Bella said.
"I didn't know that" Edward said.
"Well I worship nature including the Sun God Ra, a solar deity that is presumable adorned with gold." Bella said.
"And when I saw you like this for the first time I wanted to worship you" A God I would have an altar for and go on my knees for just to be noticed" Bella said.
"See I told you it was weird" Bella said moving away when Edward seemed a bit bewildered.
"No It's not weird, it's just shocking that you view me this way, when I showed myself for the first time I thought you would run from me" Edward said.
"I Uh didn't expect this," Edward said.
" If only I could find out more about you," Edward said wishing he could get through to whatever that's barring her mind from his ability.
"I'll try to speak up a bit more, and we'll have an eternally to find out everything about each other" Bella said.
"But I do hope you won't make decisions for me again, I don't like it,
"Bella" Edward said "I will never force anything on you again, I'm letting you choose your own life from now to prove that"
"I will never leave you behind like that no matter what, I'll always be with you, whether it's behind the scenes or be there in person I will never be cold towards you again" Edward said sincere.
Bella nodded.
"And I will not stubbornly cling onto my own version of the truth, I thought you returned because of pity or to see how far you can go before you can screw me over again" Bella said and Edward narrowed his eyes saddened but remained quiet.
"I learn to listen and understand your part of the story before I make my judgement." Bella said.
Edward oozes with happiness, if only she was willing to listen from the start, it was so hard to make her come back and now it's finally happening.
"Dear Bella can you trust me enough to be the partner you deserve?" Edward asked.
Bella stared at him, the break up still stings but she needs to open her horizon to let healing flow like a river inside of her and shush the awful memories, his ice cold glare, telling her she's not good enough for him.. she needs to force those things in the back of her mind.
Bella responded to his question and carefully nodded no longer making eye contact.
"That's very convincing" Edward said dry.
"Sorry" Bella said.
"You still don't trust me" Edward assumed and created distance between them.
"I just feel anxious for the future" Bella said.
"I know you will not leave again, I believe that" Bella said but Edward be honest",
"If you had the strength to leave would you? " Bella said worried.
"No, even if I'm capable of leaving there is no reason, I can't live without you, Death is the only reason why I'm no longer with you,
and I am planning to exist forever if you are there with me" Edward said.
"Marry me" Bella blurted out.
"If there really is no reason to leave then there is no reason to stall things" Bella said revealing a small box, Edward eyed it and wish he could cry with joy.
"This ring represents my eternal love, will you accept?" Bella said holding the open box towards him.
"Yes" Edward Said taking the ring but he placed it on her hand instead. Edward kissed her hand that had the ring adorned.
There will never be enough time to show you how much I've always loved you, but let's start with forever.
"Its an honor"