Note: This story takes place during the episode "Under Lock and Key".
In Case of Acolytes Break Glass
"How's it looking, mate?" Pyro asked while using his powers. "Is that a gorgeous blaze or what?"
"The temperature is still too low," Piotr reported. "It needs to be much hotter."
"You got it!" Pyro grinned increasing his focus. "Burn on, me beauty! Burn! Burn! Hahahahaha!"
"What are you hommes doing?" Remy asked entering Storage Room Seven. "Man, it's like an oven in here. Are you two trying to make bootleg giant doughnut pizzas again?"
"Hey, Gambit," Pyro greeted cheerfully. He and Piotr were standing in front of a large, shallow crucible positioned in the middle of the room. A blue-hot blaze evenly burned below it. "Wanna make glass with us?"
"Glass?" Remy repeated raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," An armored-up Piotr said indicating the crucible's molten contents. He reached in and scooped out a small blob of melted glass before quickly molding it with his hands. "It is a very interesting art form. One can makes all kinds of useful and interesting things with it."
"Yeah, it's great," Pyro smiled. "I mix and melt all the raw materials down, Colossus forms the hot glass into shapes and then I use more flames to polish the finished works off."
"I see," Remy looked over at a long cooling station containing various glass items and figurines. "You hommes sure were busy while I was gone."
"Well, we did have one or two minor hiccups at first," Pyro admitted. "But we were able to quickly smooth things out."
"Ah, okay," Remy nodded. "Wait, what kind of 'minor hiccups'?"
"Uh, nothing really bad," Piotr coughed. "Though if anyone asks we have absolutely no idea why half the Training Dome is now missing or why Magneto's private bathroom is now a large glass-lined hole in the ground."
"Yeah, neither incident had anything to do with us," Pyro whistled innocently. "It's a real mystery."
"Sure it is," Remy drawled.
"By the way, where have you been?" Piotr asked. "We found your note saying you had volunteered to go check in on the Brotherhood, but we were not sure if it was true."
"It was," Remy confirmed. "I did a quick sneak and peak of those bums over at the Brotherhood House before taking a little detour on the way back."
"You mean you used checking in on those Brotherhood blokes as an excuse to go visit that white-striped hair sheila you like," Pyro gave him a look.
"Well, yeah," Remy admitted. "I couldn't just sit around watching Rogue on a screen after she'd ended up in the X-Men's Infirmary from experiencing a wild multiple personality episode. I had to be at my poor chérie's side and help comfort her in her time of need."
"Of course," Piotr sighed. "That explains why you were so late coming back. Magneto was so angry that you had sneaked out of the base without permission that he left to bring you back himself."
"So what happened?" Pyro asked. "Did Mags have to storm Old Baldy's place and drag you away from your stricken sheila's side kicking and screaming?"
"Actually, I never even got there," Remy explained. "One minute I'm heading down the final road leading to the X-Mansion and the next thing I know I'm waking up outside some fancy private getaway estate in upstate New York."
"Really?" Piotr blinked, confused. "How did you get there?"
"I was ambushed and telepathically controlled by some mind manipulating mutant named Mesmero," Remy explained.
"Wow, try saying that three times fast," Pyro quipped.
"Are you alright?" Piotr asked Remy worriedly.
"I'm fine," Remy assured. "Mags tracked me down and forced Mesmero to release his mental hold on me before bringing both of us back to the base. Mags is having Masty interrogate Mesmero right now."
"You mean mentally scanning his mind," Pyro clarified.
"Eh, same thing," Remy shrugged.
"I am glad you are okay," Piotr sighed in relief. "What did this Mesmero person want with you?"
"I'm not exactly sure," Remy said. "Apparently he had me steal an old stone artifact from the private getaway estate I mentioned before."
"Was it some sort of rare and valuable antiquity?" Pyro asked.
"I doubt it," Remy shook his head. "The thing looked like it had been previously broken in half. With a vaguely spider-like kind of shape."
"Maybe this Mesmero is some kind of art collector," Piotr suggested.
"I don't think so," Remy commented. "He seemed too cagey and shifty for that. He was probably lurking around Xavier's with the original aim of using one of the X-Men to steal the stone artifact for him but ended up running into me instead."
"Really?" Pyro asked. "Huh, what a coincidence."
"Though I have to admit, this Mesmero guy does have good taste," Remy preened. "If he needed somebody to steal something for him, he obviously chose to go with the best."
"That is not exactly something to be proud of," Piotr sighed. "Though in an indirect way, you may have ended up protecting Rogue after all."
"Yeah," Pyro agreed. "For all you know this Mesmero bloke was gonna go and mentally control her."
"No! Never!" Remy gasped in horror. "My chérie will never again be used as a pawn in some sick mutant's plan for power! She's been through that way too much! If that tattooed-faced scélérat ever tries to entrap Rogue, I'll hunt him down to the ends of the Earth!"
"Do not worry," Piotr tried to assure him. "I doubt things will ever come to that."
"Yeah, don't fret about it, mate," Pyro agreed. "That's about as likely to happen as you using that white-striped haired sheila as part of some private scheme of your own."
"What are you fools doing in here?" Magneto demanded suddenly entering the room. "Haven't you maniacs caused enough trouble for one day?"
"We were not causing trouble," Piotr protested. "We were just…"
"Never mind. I don't really care," Magneto snapped cutting him off. "Just cease whatever mindlessly idiocy you lunatics are up to and clean up the inevitable associated mess."
"Oh, we'll clean up alright," Pyro giggled while subtley motioning Piotr to a particular finished glass piece. Piotr quickly understood the message.
"As for you, Gambit," Magneto turned to glare at Remy while Piotr quietly held up a large, convex glass lens the size of a dinner table. "Explain why you suddenly 'volunteered' to leave the base and why you didn't seek my permission to do so first."
"I was just showing initiative," Remy replied innocently as Pyro silently lit a large flame in the background. "You wanted regular updates concerning the Brotherhood and that Quicksilver fool rarely bothers to check in."
"That's exactly the way I want it to be!" Magneto snapped as Piotr used the lens to focus light from Pyro's fire directly onto Magneto's helmet. "Those Brotherhood buffoons are even nuttier that you lot! I want as little to do with their uncontrollable antics and insanity as possible! I don't care what they do as long as they don't bother me or end up interfering with my plans for achieving mutant superiority. I have enough trouble just trying to ride herd on you maniacs…say, is it getting hot in here?"
"No, not more than usual," Remy whistled hiding a grin. "Though you are looking a little sweaty."
"Really? Hmmm, maybe I'm coming down with something," Magneto panted tugging at his collar. "Or maybe all the stress caused by you lunatics has finally caused me to…OH MY GOSH, THAT'S HOT!" Magneto screamed as his helmet began to glow red-hot. He immediately reached for it only to end up burning his metal-gloved hands. "YEEEOOOWWW! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!"
"Hehehehehe!" Pyro giggled at the sight. "Whaddya think of our latest project, Mags?"
"Do you care about it now?" Piotr grinned.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! MY HAIR! IT BURNS!" Magneto shrieked finally removing his helmet using his powers. He tossed the superheated piece of metal to the side before frantically flying out of the storage room. "WAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH! OUT OF THE WAY! I NEED WATER! ICE! LIQUID NITROGEN! ANYTHING! YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
"What the heck…GAAAHHHHHH!" Sabertooth was heard shouting in the hallway.
CRASH!
WHAM!
"Ow," Sabertooth whimpered. "My spleen…"
"Wow, that's one way to bring one's bright ideas into focus," Remy quipped. "Though in a very roundabout sort of way."
"Thanks, mate," Pyro beamed proudly. "Always nice to get feedback on a project."
"We worked very hard to get the shape and focal length just right," Piotr said setting down the lens. "It worked even better than we thought it would,"
"I'll say," Remy glanced over at Magneto's discarded, superheated helmet. "Looks like Mags will have to wait for his ol' bucket to cool down. Probably gonna take a while too. 'Course there's always his spare helmet."
"Not exactly," Pyro giggled. "That was one of the many items which happened to be in Mags' private dunny before it turned into a big, glass-lined hole."
"If only Magneto had been wearing that helmet at the time," Piotr sighed wistfully.
"Eh, there's always next time," Remy shrugged. "Say, do you hommes take requests? I'd love to give Rogue a homemade get well present."
"Sure thing, mate," Pyro smiled readying his flamethrowers. "What will it be?"
"The best gift of all," Remy grinned. "A life-size glass statue of me!"
"Oh dear," Piotr groaned. "I should have known."
"Hmmm, I dunno, Gambit," Pyro mused. "Don't you wanna give her something a little classier? Like a stained-glass flame-motif bookshelf or a larger-than-life fire breathing dragon?"
"No way. A life-size glass figure of me will be a great gift," Remy insisted. "That way Rogue will be able to have me around even when I'm not there. She'll be able to do all kinds of things to the statue while pretending she's doing it to me. She can practice talking, dancing, hugging, kissing…"
"I am not listening! I am not listening! La, la, la, la, la!" Piotr shouted covering his ears.
"If you say so, mate," Pyro shrugged. "Though the way your relationship with that white-striped haired sheila is now, she'll probably end up shoving your glass body double off a cliff causing it to shatter into a billion pieces."
"Na, Rogue would never intentionally wreck a lifelike statue of someone she knows like that," Remy scoffed with certainty. "I tell ya, this is going to be the gift that's finally going to win over Rogue's heart!"
"Hopefully before she finally goes and breaks yours," Piotr sighed in resignation. "Both figuratively and literally."
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.