Chapter 18: Battles

Polaris Galaxy: Apogee Space Station

"Ratchet, what are you doing? I should be packing." Talwyn said annoyingly. It was a few months after they had gotten back from the Krayantixx Galaxy and despite their best efforts, it didn't look like that they would be able to get the station fully funded. Erus' payment predictably never went through, which meant that there was still a large mountain of debt to overcome to secure the station's future.

"Just don't worry about it and follow me." Ratchet said coyly. He was leading Talwyn down the hall to the main living area of the station. He knew that after his surprise, Talwyn wouldn't have to worry about packing anymore. "It's just in here." He said, motioning towards the door.

"Honestly, I don't know what's gotten int-" Talwyn started to say as she crossed the threshold while looking at Ratchet, but she stopped mid-sentence when she turned and saw a large gathering of their friends in the living room which was decorated with streamers and balloons.

"Suuurprise!" the group shouted, including Ratchet. Of course, this confused the Markazian, but she simply gave Ratchet a suspicious look as if to say 'you better start explaining'.

"Okay, okay, just stick with me Tal alright?" He asked, moving towards the group in the middle. "Yeah, so as you all know, Talwyn and I have been trying to get this place fully funded for the past few months" several nods and smiles were shared around the room "But we weren't able to meet our goal."

"Ratchet-" Talwyn interjected. She wasn't in the mood to rehash the fact that she was losing her last connection with her father.

"Just stay with me," The lombax said with a wink, "Clank and I know how much this place means to you, so after overcoming some red tape-"

"Lots of red tape" the small robot interjected

"We have been able to register this station as a historical landmark of inter-galactic importance!" Ratchet finished. "That means that anyone who tries to sell this place," he paused, pointedly glaring at Qwark "Will have to overcome an agreement signed by two presidents and dozens of representatives across both Solana and Polaris!" He handed Talwyn a box about the size of a book with a bow on it. When she opened it, she saw that it contained a simple metal plaque which read "Max Apogee Space Station…Home to famed adventurer Max Apogee, the foremost expert on Lombax Technology…Historical Home of famed warbots Cronk and Zephyr" Talwyn traced the engraved letters with a slender finger, tears welling up in her eyes.

"The Apogee Station is here to stay, forever." He finished, cheers erupting once more. Talwyn's eyes grew wide. It was the best news she could have ever hoped for. She threw her arms around Ratchet's neck and squeezed so hard that he thought his head would pop off. However, she let go before Ratchet fully passed out and thanked him once more.

"Now what do you say we get this part-ay starteeeed!?" Yelled Skidd as the music was raised once more and a rousing party was had by all. Talwyn's face seemed to have a large, permanent smile affixed to her face, which Ratchet was glad to see. However, he'd be lying if he denied a hint of sadness as well. She won't need me around as much anymore, I guess. He separated from the crowd and stood back, leaning against the far wall and looking out of one of the windows at the large expanse of space, a bittersweet smile on his face. Of course, this did not elude the young markazian who slowly strode over to join him.

"Sooooo, this is why you've been so distracted since we got back, huh?" Talwyn asked, a sly smile on her face. "You know, you could've let me in on the secret, hero" she finished, grinning. Ratchet meanwhile turned beet red at her calling him her hero, even if it was just in jest.

"W-well yeah, well, I didn't want to get your hopes up if it didn't work out." He explained "I've already maxed out my quota on failing you so far." He said, only half-jokingly. Talwyn set her hand on top of his, causing him to snap his attention to her. Her face was solemn and honest.

"What are you talking about? You could never fail me, Ratchet." She said softly. The duo stared at each other for a while, so many thoughts flying through their heads. They hadn't had an opportunity to really talk about what was said back on the moon. Ratchet was too afraid, and Talwyn had been too busy. She looked into his green orbs, trying to find a clue as to what he was thinking. Ratchet smiled softly, glad that he was able to make Talwyn happy, but it didn't change how he felt. If that spirit hadn't stopped on its own, I wouldn't have been able to protect her. He thought, before pulling his hand away and turning away from her. And I'm still too much of a coward to tell her about it. He thought, cursing himself.

Talwyn's face dropped slightly as her friend seemed to pull away from her in more ways than one. She had a few guesses as to what he was thinking about. The battle, the dire straits at the end. But she didn't want to see him isolate himself again. She couldn't stand by while he continued to hurt.

"Ratchet, I wanted to ask you something." She prompted, gaining the lombax's attention once more. "Did you really mea-" But she was cut off as a boisterous Qwark had come over to give Talwyn a hug.

"Ah, Tasha! I knew you could do it! Never doubted you once!" He boasted, seemingly forgetting the fact that he practically sold the station before she had even left. Talwyn was pulled back into the core of the party as their friends and allies celebrated the continued success of the Apogee Space Station. Talwyn looked back towards Ratchet, who raised his glass to her with a smirk. Talwyn smiled back before being lifted up in the air to the chants of 'for she's a jolly good fellow'.

As soon as she turned away, he let the façade drop. He knew what he had to do next would crush Talwyn. But he had decided that it was what he had to do. The lombax re-joined the party and tried to put his mind off of the next task at hand. Just one last failure on my part then. He mused.

Hours later, Ratchet and Clank finished cleaning up the after-party mess. Note to self, no more cake for Qwark. Ratchet mused, thinking about how the green hero tried to start a food fight, twice. Once satisfied that the living area was sufficiently clean once more, Ratchet left to start packing his things in the room he had been staying in. It was bittersweet, but he had always meant this to be a temporary thing once he had helped Talwyn, and now that he had…but he wasn't able to finish that train of thought, as just at that moment, Talwyn walked in.

"Oh, hey Ratchet, I wanted to talk…to…you…" Talwyn paused as she looked up and saw Ratchet's bags on his bed. "W-what are you doing?"

"Well…I'm packing, Tal." Ratchet responded matter-of-factly with a nervous chuckle. "It's time I moved back in with Clank on Igliak."

"So…you're leaving?" Talwyn prodded further, visibly hurt by this revelation. Even though she and Ratchet hadn't had a chance to talk, she still thought that he had at least planned to stick around. At least he's not leaving the galaxy this time. She thought to herself, but it didn't make the fact sting any less. She hugged herself as she felt a cold sadness creep into her.

"Yes, but wasn't that the deal the whole time, Tal? The Station is here to stay, and I'll just get in the way now that you'll have more free time. You'll be busy with your research and probably join the Polaris Defense Force again-" Ratchet continued, trying to reason with her, but also himself. He hadn't been able to voice his emotions to Talwyn, well at least not when their lives were on the line, and so he knew that if he wasn't tough enough to say it, he couldn't stay.

"Is that what you want Ratchet?" Talwyn had cut him off and pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Yes? I mean No! I mean…" Ratchet trailed off. "I don't know how to answer that." He sat down on the bed, slumped over, holding his head in his hands and shaking it. The markazian sat down next to him and took one of his hands in hers.

"Just tell me, Ratchet" she pleaded with her friend. But the lombax just pulled his hand away from hers.

"I can't…" he said dejectedly as he wrapped his arms around himself and squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't even look at Talwyn.

"Why can't you, Ratchet?" Talwyn pushed again. She wasn't about to let him leave her again without telling her why. "Why can't you stay!? Why do you have to leave…again?"

"You don't understand, Tal…I-"

"Then make me understand! Why do you keep leaving me?" Talwyn said as she leaned closer to Ratchet. The pain and hurt so clearly noticeable in her voice. "Please just look at me and tell me what is going on." The lombax squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth.

"Because everyone I care about dies!" The lombax shouted as he stood up, now facing Talwyn. His sudden outburst surprising the markazian, who looked at him with wide eyes, "W-when people get too close to me…they die." He stated again, this time more somberly. He reached out and gently took one of Talwyn's hands in his, thoughtfully rubbing the top of it with his thumb. "I would never forgive myself if that happened to you, Tal, I…" he trailed off, letting her hand drop and thinking about how to say what he meant. "I never really had a family until I met Clank…and then you of course." He said with a small smile, "It didn't bother me when I was alone, because that's all I had known, but now…now that I have something to lose, it scares me, Tal." The lombax finished, looking away from his friend in shame. The markazian's ears perked up at the last part.

"What are you saying, Ratchet?" she said as she reached out and gently turned his face back to hers. Her eyes were soft and pleading. Ratchet realized that it was fruitless to dodge the question any longer. He brought his hand up to meet hers still resting on his cheek, leaning into it for just a moment before revealing the secret that he was sure would mean the end of his friendship with the markazian.

"Everything…I said on the moon was true, Tal. Though I'm sure you figured that out on account that we're both still alive." He continued, letting go of her hand and rubbing the back of his head. "You are the most important person in my life. I would love nothing more than to go on a thousand adventures with you, follow you anywhere across the galaxies, but…I can't bear the thought of losing you because I put you in danger. I'm not…strong enough." He went back to packing his bags, shoving things in haphazardly, angry with himself at his shortcomings. "I told myself that if I couldn't tell you that, then I would leave. It wouldn't be fair to you." The lombax turned away from Talwyn to fight back the swell of emotions he was feeling. He couldn't bear to look at the hurt on her face that he caused.

The young markazian thought for a long while. She was still somewhat hurt that Ratchet felt he couldn't tell her this, but she also felt something else swell inside her. An almost giddy happiness that her fuzzy friend did care about her as she had thought. All at once, his determination to help her save the station and his strange behavior around her these past few months made sense. He just wanted to make sure she was okay before he left…She let this information roll around in her head for a few minutes, thinking about how to respond. She realized that this was her last opportunity to share her feelings with Ratchet, so she slowly stood up, and without a word, started unpacking his bags.

"W-what are you doin'?" The lombax asked as he turned towards Talwyn in confusion.

"You just said it yourself. If you couldn't tell me, you would leave…but you did tell me, so that means you're staying…right?" She asked with a fierce determination in her eyes that Ratchet had always thought was her best quality. "You know, I worry about losing you too." The young alien added, making a realization click into Ratchet's mind. I'm so stupid. She's felt the same way this entire time. "That doesn't make you weak, Ratchet. It makes you a friend." Talwyn held out one of Ratchet's aviator caps to him as if it was a metaphorical invitation.

Ratchet took the cap from her hands and rubbed the soft, worn leather between his thumbs and forefingers. Clank was right, as always. It didn't make sense for either of them to be alone because they both needed each other. All this time, Ratchet, who had suffered so much loss, hadn't seen that Talwyn was one of the few people in the galaxy that knew exactly how he felt. He realized that it didn't matter how far he tried to run away, he would always be concerned for the special markazian. But that wasn't something he should fear, it simply meant that his feelings for her were true. He slapped the cap on top of his head, somewhat crookedly, and gave a large toothy grin.

"Well, can't argue with logic like that, now, ca-?" He started to say as he tried to strike a comical heroic pose. But he was stopped when he found himself enveloped in another one of his friend's death grip hugs, this time feeling her soft lips on his. He brought his arms around her, pulling her closer to him, his heart finally feeling at ease. It seemed like a huge weight had been lifted now that he had finally told Talwyn how he felt. He breathed deeply, taking in the scent of her so close to him. But…just to be sure, Ratchet pulled away just to ask Talwyn once more.

"I-I mean, as long as that's fine with you, Tal, I don't have to be here if you don't want me to be, and I don't want you to think that you can't go if you want to…I mean-" The furry lombax started rambling off, smiling sheepishly.

"Ratchet?"

"Yes Tal?"

"Shut up"

"Yep, shutting up." Ratchet answered as he pulled Talwyn into another long hug. Somehow, in this moment, all his fears melted away as he pulled her close and felt the soft warmth of her body. He couldn't control what would happen tomorrow or the next day, but he was done living in fear of what ifs, and running away from his feelings. Whatever this would turn out to be, he welcomed it.

"Oh, and Ratchet?" Talwyn prompted softly.

"Yeah?"

"This doesn't mean that you can fly my ship." The markazian said only half-jokingly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." The lombax simply replied with a grin. The duo stood there for some time, not noticing a small robotic friend walking by. Seeing the two locked in such a long hug, a smile formed on his face. Well, it seems that Ratchet has finally faced his toughest battle yet. Hehehehihm.