Chapter 24: Sticky Situation
(If the art didn't appear on your screen, it will be on the pinned post on my Tumblr account viktheviking1 for the foreseeable future.)
"You look fine!" Loona shouted. Blitz was scampering from one room to the next, tossing rejected clothes to the side. Loona followed close behind him, catching most of the discarded garments. The pile in her arms was growing at an alarming rate.
"Fine isn't good enough!" Blitz hopped towards the bathroom as he tried to put some skinny jeans on, "Do you know the last time I went on a real date? Not a set up date, a real date."
Loona rolled her eyes, "Like two weeks ago?"
"Wrong!" Blitz started shoveling his way through the cabinet under the sink, shoving Loona's large makeup stash to the side, trying to gain access to his own, "That was a booty call, and it didn't even work out! He had gonorrhea and refused to wear protection."
"I really didn't need to hear that." Loona said, as she watched Blitz try to get a good wing with eyeliner that had definitely expired.
"And she had a third n*pple. Which I was just going to make a joke about and move on but then she asks me if I like it, saying that it was expensive. She gave herself a third n*pple on purpose!" He said, struggling to match the wing on the other side.
"Okay, I really didn't want to hear that." Loona couldn't wipe the image from her mind.
"Ahh! How did I not see that!? This shirt is stained, now I have to start over!" He shouted, crawling past her to get back to his pile of laundry, throwing the rejects again, "Point is, I haven't had a real, emotions-included date in years."
Loona caught the clothes he threw, "Wait . . . Emotions included? You can't be serious."
"As serious as that guy's case of gonorrhea!" He gave up on the laundry pile and began relooking through the pile in her arms.
"Stop bringing that up!" Loona gave up trying to catch any of the clothes, and watched as they landed on the TV, in the walkway, and in the kitchen sink, "And are you sure you're ready for that . . . ? I mean, just yesterday you were a mess over-"
"Over a case of beer, I know." He sighed, holding the last shirt from the pile, and sat on the couch, "Look sweetie, I met a nice guy online and we've been talking for weeks now. He has a kid too, he laughs at my jokes, we watch the same shows, and . . . I don't know, he gets me."
"That explains why you've been giggling like a school girl at your phone constantly. Wait, did you say weeks? And you haven't met up yet? Is he hiding something?" Loona sat down next to him, her weight sinking her side down, causing him to bounce.
"No, well he was, but he told me. And then there was some stuff with his ex. And you know, I had st- . . . stuff going on so." He shrugged, "For a bit we thought we were just going to be friends but things just worked out." He paused, smiling, before catching himself and cleared his throat, "Anyway, I want to look nice, but everything is either dirty or not the vibe so uh . . ."
Loona just looked at him, surprised to see him giddy about a person other than her, then sighed, "Well, if you want you can raid my closet too."
His face lit up and his tail swished back and forth, "Really?"
"Yes, but you have to get permission before trying anything on. Because the moment you do, it'll rip holes in it and it will officially be your shirt."
"Cool!" He skittered away on all fours, and she was left unsure if he had actually heard her or not.
In the end, Blitz went with one of Loona's crop top sweatshirts, that was a full sweatshirt on him. He finished his winged eyeliner which mostly matched, and wore his usual black jeans and boots. Loona waved him off, still some concern on her face, but at least she had the house to herself.
He drove to the restaurant, and parked. It was only then that he realized that without knowing what Trent looked like, figuring out which person was him would be difficult. He scanned the people outside. There was someone sleeping on a bench, and two people smoking together. Deciding that none of these people were Trent, he leaned up against the wall at the corner of the building, and messaged him. Right as he hit send, he heard someone's phone ping right next to him. He peeked his head round the corner to see a tall succubus man, checking himself in a little pocket mirror. The man was tall enough already, but then he was also wearing high heeled boots. Tights under his black shorts, and a long dark blue cardigan pinned together at the front, with nothing underneath, Blitz thought to himself that he was probably one of the more modest succubi he had ever met, as showing some skin was practically a part of their culture. His horns curled upward, and a necklace with a moon pendant dangled between. D*mn, this guy had some good taste. He definitely looked dressed up for a date. It was probably too much to hope that a middle aged dad like Trent also looked as hot and young as this guy.
Blitz went back to his phone to message Trent again, but then saw a sticker he had sent earlier of Trent's Succu-moji character holding up a peace sign with the caption that he was on his way. Huh. What a weird coincidence that this succubus around the corner of him was the real life version of the Succu-moji.
This had to be Trent, and for some reason, Blitz's heart sank a little. He was a little ashamed to realize that somewhere deep inside, a quiet voice had whispered that this person could still be Stolas, as he knew that he was on dating apps under fake accounts. It was a stupid hope, and it had been rightfully crushed. He had no one but himself to blame.
Shaking himself out of it, Blitz looked at his phone and called Trent. The stranger's phone rang.
He watched him pull out his phone and answer, "Hello?"
"Turn to your lef- no right." Blitz smiled into his phone.
The man had an even bigger reaction than he had been expecting, practically jumping out of his skin like he had seen a ghost, "B-Blitz?!"
He laughed, "Yup, that's me. You're Trent, I'm guessing?"
"Y-yes." Trent looked down at himself, as though to check, "How did you know?"
"You're an exact copy of your Succuchat icon!" Blitz pulled out the chat messages on his phone and showed it to him.
"I see, that is the chat I was having, but . . . I was chatting with a gentleman named Bluez." Trent pulled out his own phone and pulled up the Faceless Love app to show Blitz the profile.
"Ah, sh*t. Did I forget to change that? I'm sorry. I was typing real fast when I was making the profile. I found out it was wrong later, and meant to change it, but uh . . . I got distracted and forgot about it." Blitz rubbed the back of his neck, then looked up confused, "Hang on, how did you know my name was Blitz, then?"
Trent seemed to be recovering, and fumbled on his words, "I-I-I uh, well. I suppose I must have heard it somewhere . . .? Oh! That commercial! Yes! The Expedient Murder Professionals? That's how I know you!"
Blitz raised an eyebrow. Good to know that Trent was a terrible liar. Interrogating him at the start of the first date probably wasn't leading with the best fettish forward, so he simply moved on,
"It's Immediate Murder Professionals, actually. I.M.P. for short, though expedient works too, I guess. Hey, isn't there some kind of unsaid rule that if you actually are a succubus on Succuchat, you can't make the Succu-moji look too much like yourself?"
"I-i-is there? I hadn't heard of such a thing. I do apologize." Trent looked down at the ground, clasping his hands together.
"Haha! It's no big deal. I was mostly joking, anyway. Come on! Let's head inside." Blitz began walking.
The building smelt of greases and oils. The tables and chairs were decently clean, though it did look as though the person who'd cleaned them was slowly giving up on both making it look perfect, and life in general.
Blitz walked up to the person behind the front counter, "A table for two please. We have a reservation under the name Blitz." he confidently tapped the wood of the podium.
The host rolled their eyes, "Oh, so you're the weirdo who called earlier."
"Excuse, you?" Blitz cocked an eyebrow.
"Sir, this is a Denise's." she said.
"And?" Blitz asked.
"We don't take reservations, sir." the underpaid employee didn't bother looking up from her phone.
He grabbed the host's collar and pulled her close, "You listen here, you little sh*t. You will take us to our mediocre reserved table and you're going to make sure that it isn't sticky. Do you understand?"
"But our tables are always stickyyyyy!" She was startled as Blitz fully lifted her feet up off the ground.
"Then give us your least sticky one!" He shouted, then dropped her.
"R. . . Right." She said and showed them to a booth in the back.
Blitz tested the table with his finger and found it was only mildly tacky to the touch and so he sat down and happily picked up a menu. Trent just stood there, seeming unsure of himself.
"Don't worry. You can get anything you want. I'll pay!" Blitz reassured.
"Oh, no. I can pay for us. I just was thinking, um. . . Nevermind." Trent sat down, muscles stiff.
"You sure?" Blitz looked at him.
"Y-yes, it's fine." Trent buried his face in the menu.
Blitz looked at him a bit confused. Why was he acting so strangely? Was he freaked out by how he treated the host? He was just trying to make it as nice as possible for them. No, Trent was acting weird the moment he laid eyes on him. Was it how he was dressed? Was it the eyeliner? Gender didn't stop Trent from wearing a necklace. No, it had to be something else. . . Could it be his scar? Most people didn't pay any attention to it. Hell's a dangerous place so having a big scar or two was relatively common. Still, some people looked a little too long or pointed at him while whispering to their friends. He began rubbing his white cheek self consciously, as though he could wipe it away.
"U-um . . . What do you recommend from this place?" Trent's words interrupted his thoughts.
"O-oh uh . . . The stuffed pancakes are nice. You've never been to a Denise's before?" Blitz asked.
"O-of course I have! It's just . . . Been a long time, that's all." Trent said then added, "I don't recognize the menu . . . Maybe they reformatted it . . .?"
Blitz shrugged, "It's possible. They pretty regularly add specials and seasonal options, but the rest stays the same for the most part."
"I-I see." Trent said, returning his attention to the menu.
"Hello, my name is Quincy. I'll be your waiter today. Are you ready to order?" A goat demon appeared and spoke in a completely monotone voice.
"Ah, yes. I will have the stuffed pancakes, if that's alright. And a sweet tea." Trent looked up from the menu only to see Blitz shaking his head and motioning a line across his throat.
"Actually, uh, I'll have a . . . Lemonade?" Trent smiled warily.
Blitz gave a thumbs up then said, "And I'll have the ultimate omelette and a Coca-Cola with extra coke. Thanks."
Once the waiter walked away Blitz leaned in and whispered, "A friend of mine used to work here, and while I was in the back with them I saw a mouse fall into the vat of sweet tea. I watched someone just scoop it out, and keep using it."
"Oh, dear. It makes me wonder what other food safety issues they have." Trent said looking towards the staff only door that led to the kitchen.
"Well, the place closed down because of the repeated violations, and reopened under new management. But I don't trust they cleaned the vat." Blitz leaned back, "You don't seem all that shocked about this story."
"Oh, well, I guess I don't see how it's that big of a deal. It's just two foods mixing together." Trent shrugged, "Not an appealing combination, but still, just food."
" . . . Huh?" Blitz's jaw dropped.
Neither got to respond as the waiter arrived with the drinks.
"Thank you." Trent said to the waiter, then turned to Blitz, "so, um . . . How are you?"
"Fine. You?" Blitz returned, deciding it was best to not bring up the fact that he had just referred to mice as food.
"Fine." There was an awkward silence.
"Did you . . . resolve things with that crazy ex?" Blitz took a sip of his Coke.
"Oh! Yes. Well- for now at least. It's only a matter of time until she stirs something up again." Trent smiled, a hint of concern in his eyes.
"Yeah, I get that . . ." Blitz threw his arm over the top of the bench.
Another awkward silence.
"I'm-"
"I-I"
They both spoke at once.
"Oh, sorry. You go ahead." Trent apologized.
"No, no, you're fine. You go first." Blitz gestured for him to speak.
"No, no. I insist." Trent smiled.
Blitz sighed, "Trent, I swear to god, just talk."
"Okay, um . . ." He looked down at his fingers as he fiddled with the paper wrapping of his straw
"Well, actually, . . ." He dry swallowed, "I'm actually . . . Is it hot in here? I feel like it's hot in here."
He decided to forgo the straw and just downed the lemonade in a single gulp. Then slammed the cup down on the table.
"I'm actually-! . . ." He shut his eyes hard and willed his tongue to speak.
"Hey, it's okay." Blitz said, and Trent opened his eyes to see him grabbing his hand from across the the table, "You've already told me you're married and eat mice. What could be worse than that?"
He meant it as a joke, but he watched Trent's eyes well up with tears, "I-I-I'm sorry. I only mmeant that- well, you haven't scared me off yet, so you don't need to be so worried."
Trent chuckled and wiped his eyes, and for some reason wiped the hair above his forehead as well, "I know, and in case you didn't know, mice are considered delicacies in some circles."
Whether Trent meant social circles or circles of hell, Blitz wasn't sure but either way, he smiled and replied "Yeah, well so are frog's legs and snails, but you'd catch me dead before eating them." He rubbed Trent's hand, "Now what did you want to tell me?"
Trent sighed, "I just . . . really missed you."
Blitz raised a brow, "We're meeting for the first time, aren't we? I didn't sleep with you in college, did I? I slept with a lot of people while black out drunk-"
Trent chuckled, and squeezed his hand, "No, my dear. But . . . sometimes you meet someone who it feels like you've known forever. Like your souls have known each other long before you've ever met. And when you finally do," Trent turned his hand over and interlocked their fingers together, "you get this sense of belonging. . . You know?"
Blitz lost himself as Trent smiled at him. He had said 'my dear' . . . No one had ever called him my dear except Stolas . . . he realized he must like formal pet names a lot, as he felt his heart flip and get stuck in his throat. Trent was surprisingly romantic for a succubus. He coughed, so he could speak, "Does that line work on all your dates, or just me?" He grinned.
Trent chuckled again, "I only said what came to mind. That's all."
"I thought demons didn't have souls." Blitz teased.
"Maybe it's only the hot ones, then." Trent leaned in salaciously.
Blitz curled his tail around Trent's ankle, "Maybe it's only the-"
"Here's your food." The waiter interrupted, holding a giant tray. They placed the plates in front of them and walked away as silently as they arrived.
Blitz hissed at them as they left. Then he leaned back, crossing his arms, tongue hanging out of his mouth as he pouted. Trent placed both hands over his mouth to suppress a giggle fit. Blitz raised a brow and looked down at himself to see his forked tongue hanging out. He sucked it back in and turned his head to the side, blushing.
"Shut up and eat your pancakes."
Author's note:
Hello! It's Vik! If you want to see the art I drew of Trent, and it didn't appear on your screen, it will be on the pinned post on my Tumblr account viktheviking1 for the foreseeable future. I have barely picked up drawing again since giving it up in elementary and I drew it on my phone so please be nice to me! I worked hard on it!
It's been quite the week and remembering to find time to write this story has been slipping my mind. But once again, I'm squeaking in just before the deadline. And getting the drawing done by the deadline was almost as important to me as the chapter itself so I hope you enjoyed. I've been drawing it slowly for weeks, forgetting about it most days, then picking it up again. Then, suddenly the chapter I'd been planning for so long arrived! So yeah, I'm glad I was able to get both done in time.
I hope you liked the outfit I put Trent in, and Blitz for that matter. If not, you can always imagine Blitz in his usual attire and Trent as whatever the fvck you want. I struggled to decide what'd Blitz would wear, and how it would go with his mother's choker thing. In the end I decided not to mention it so it could be up to reader interpretation. Figuring out Trent's eyes and mouth was also difficult. Here were some of the other options.
If you didn't know, the Denise's is meant to be hell's off brand version of Denny's. I'm sure real Denny's are very clean and don't have any mice problems. My headcanon is that some overlord really liked Denny's and missed it from the living world and so brought it down here, though it isn't exactly a quality place.
I wanted the date to be all in one chapter, but just like my D&D campaigns, what I think will take fifteen minutes ends up taking the whole 2 hours. And just like the Fizz and Ozzie set up, this will also be taking multiple chapters when I planned it to just take one or two. I could shorten it. The whole mouse in a vat of sweet tea bit didn't need to happen. But it was fun and that's the point of writing this so hah.
I hope you all are as excited as I am for the next chapter!
Cut! Okay. We're done here. Everyone take 5.