Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. All mistakes are mine.
Even the Pup is an Unmentionable by Debra8652
Chapter 3
Remy's POV
I am Remington Diesel Plum-Manoso, Border Collie Pup in Charge, at Rangeman, LLC. Here's some of the stuff that went down this week.
Monday
Mom arranged for the local blood center to bring their bloodmobile to Rangeman so the guys and Mom could donate blood. It was a big success - a lot of the contract staff donated, too. Too bad my Dad Diesel was fighting bad guys in another part of the world, as the guys got Lorna Doone cookies after they donated blood - they are Dad Diesel's favorite. Or is it Nutter Butters? Oreos? Chips Ahoy?
Tuesday
Yep - Ramon and Raphael got into another skirmish over working with Mom. They are now in timeout in the guest chairs. Mom's Man came out of his office, said something that sounded like "I should have opened a day care center", went back into his office and closed the door.
Wednesday
I finally caught the house fly that had been bothering everyone on 5th floor - yay, me - I got mad skills! There was a lot of collateral damage, though. Ramon was delivering the mail when I ran in front of him and he tripped, spilling mail all over the floor. Zip was caught up in a cell phone call behind him, fell over Ramon and spilled the cup of coffee he was carrying. Next in line was Zero, who was bringing in a bunch of files from Vinnie's. He slipped and fell in the coffee that Zip spilled. Mom's Man heard the commotion, came out of his office and said "I should have hired an Accident Reconstructionist", went back into his office and closed the door.
Thursday
Raphael is our resident artist. He was sketching in a nearby park but he was really on surveillance duty. Just as his shift ended a bird flew overhead and crapped in his hair! Raphael was due to be on monitor duty in 30 minutes so he called Mom to meet him in the control room kitchen with hair washing stuff. So there's Mom washing Raphael's hair in the sink. Mom's Man came out of his office, said "I should have opened a hair salon", went back into his office and closed the door.
Friday
Dad Diesel popped in. He had been at a meeting of Unmentionable agents in Zurich, Switzerland. Why do they need to meet? Don't they all know what's happened or what's going to happen? Dad Diesel was bored with the meeting but said they served excellent Cholermus. Cholermus? What the heck is that? Is it a real moose? Do I need to herd it?
He said that his fellow agents tend to pop in and out of the meeting when they get restless, which makes it really hard to take attendance. He also said that they go down the row, popping out and then popping back in. He said it's like the Unmentionable version of The Wave.
Saturday
This was a great day - I didn't get to attend but I saw photos that other Rangemen took. The sponsor of a local outdoor art festival hired Rangeman to provide security. Five of my buddies were on duty - Woody, Hal, Binkie, Junior, and Vince. The best part was that the sponsor also wanted 2 undercover Rangeman employees. Mom's Man assigned Mom and Ramon to provide security in - get this - Raggedy Ann and Andy costumes! Mom has been encouraging Her Man to broaden the scope of Rangeman's services. While Lula was applying Mom and Ramon's makeup in the control room, I heard Mom say "I should have kept my big mouth shut." Ramon said that it took him 3 minutes in the bathroom to find the Velcro fly in his costume! Mom's Man also suggested that Mom and Ramon wear their costumes to the children's ward at St. Francis Hospital to entertain the kids. Mom agreed but Ramon said he wouldn't do it unless Ella modified his costume to include a real zipper!
Sunday
Dad Diesel's assistant, Flash, now works at Rangeman. He has spiky red hair and has been awesome at working his way into skip's houses. Mom and Flash got into a skip's house by pretending to deliver pizza and today he and Binkie got into another skip's house by pretending to be religious missionaries!