Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I'm not making any money from this. All mistakes are mine.
Even the Pup is an Unmentionable by Debra8652
Chapter 5
Remy here, Border Collie Extraordinaire, at Rangeman LLC.
I just had a new experience here at Rangeman. Lester Santos explained to me that, after a month ends, any of the Rangeman guys can enter a contest called Bodyguard's Unbelievable Moments (BUM). All you have to do is write out what happened when you were on bodyguard duty for Stephanie, aka Mom, during the month that just ended, and you could be the winning BUM. The Core Team votes for the winner and you get your story posted on the bulletin board. A lot of the guys stop, read the winning story, and say "Thank God that didn't happen to me."
Binkie won the most recent contest, paws down! Here was his entry:
"I was assigned to Bomber duty when she wanted to go to the mall. Naturally, she wanted to shop at Victoria's Secret. Evidently, Bomber and I look like a wholesome, boy-next-door/girl-next-door, kind of couple. The only sales clerk was an older woman - Bomber said she'd never seen her there before.
Bomber took several items into the dressing room to try on while I waited in the doorway between the store and the mall. The store was busy - their dressing rooms have curtains that go all the way to the floor - most of the curtains were drawn closed. I heard Steph call my name but had no idea which room she was in. I asked the clerk (Flora) where to find the woman who accompanied me. She said that "my young lady" was in dressing room #4. I didn't bother to correct her - if she thought Steph was my young lady, it sounded better than "She's my boss's wife".
I approached dressing room #4 and asked what she needed. Bomber's response was that, when she was trying to take off a camisole over her head, her watch band got caught in her ponytail and she couldn't get untangled. There I am, having no clue what a camisole is, and trying to figure out how to get her untangled without opening the curtain and/or seeing her in all the mirrors.
I told her to stand close to the curtain and I wrapped her up in it so I couldn't see her body but could still work on her ponytail. I finally got her watch band untangled from her ponytail. I still don't know what a camisole is or what else she had in there to try on, but I'm pretty sure something snapped at me when I reached my hands into the dressing room.
Steph finished her shopping and approached Flora at the register with her selections. Flora told us what a nice looking couple we were and also that Victoria's Secret has an on-line bridal registry if we were interested. After she paid, I grabbed Bomber's elbow and hustled her out of the store before Flora could register us at Babies R Us."
Remy signing off - I am trying to nap and Santos is still laughing.
A/N Your reviews are appreciated - thank you!