Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. All mistakes are mine.
Even the Pup is an Unmentionable by Debra8652
Chapter 7
Remy's POV
OMD - Oh My Dog! Stomach flu! It's everywhere! Fourth floor! Fifth floor! Gack. Ick. Mom says the Rangemen are falling like dominoes. Call a veterinarian! Call the National Guard!
Lester told me to stop running around in circles because the sick guys are getting dizzy! Maybe if I herded them outside so they could eat grass - that works for me when my tummy is upset.
Bobby, Bones, and Mom are pushing carts down the fourth floor apartments hallway handing out Tylenol, Imodium, soda crackers, ginger ale, soft foods, and water. I learned "soft mouth" when I first came here so I can deliver bottles of water to the sick guys. All the apartment doors are open so I can make my rounds.
This all started shortly after midnight Thursday so it's been 12 hours and counting! The infirmary only has four beds and we have way more sick guys than that. We may have to put the healthy guys in the infirmary because there are a lot fewer of them! Tank has been in his office on fifth floor, calling in contract workers, plus he's in charge of Rangeman because Mom's Man is in North Carolina on a business trip - lucky guy.
The patients are CRANKY! All of them have been injured in combat and/or responding to break-ins and/or during apprehensions of bad guys, but boy, are they cranky now!
Junior is yelling that he doesn't need Imodium because he's still on strong pain meds due to a recent injury and his intestines have enough gas pressure to enter him in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. And he doesn't want a suppository because Bobby has hands the size of a catcher's mitt!
Raphael is yelling at Binkie. He claims that Binkie got a pudding cup because he's Mom's favorite. Binkie stuck his tongue out at Raphael. When Raphael asked what flavor of pudding he got, Binkie said it was tapioca and Raphael made gagging noises. Binkie yelled back saying, why did Raphael want pudding if he didn't even like tapioca? Raphael claims it's the principal of the thing.
Now Woody is complaining that Mom sang to Ram, but no one else. Ram said he had a high fever and was so out of it that he didn't remember Mom singing to him, so it didn't count! Woody said that it most certainly did count.
Now Zero is yelling that this fingernails hurt, Zip says his eyelashes hurt, and Cal says his tattoo hurts.
Ramon says his curtains aren't completely closed and the sunshine is too loud.
Ella is getting a break from doing massive amounts of cooking but the pile of laundry will be taller than she is! And Mom's Man's water bill will be through the roof this month.
Mom's Man got home early Sunday morning. Tank met him in the fifth floor breakroom where nine, count 'em, nine Rangemen are sitting around a huge table made up of all the smaller tables put together. This is their first trip out of their sick rooms. Ella made them a mountain of scrambled eggs and dry toast. Mom, Bobby, Bones, Ella, and Luis are changing their bedding and disinfecting bathrooms. The guys are supposed to take it easy today and Bobby will start the process of clearing them for duty tomorrow morning.
It's a good thing I am a working dog!
Remy
A/N I appreciate all your reviews. JB, please accept my sincere thanks!