Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine.
Even the Pup is an Unmentionable by Debra8652
Chapter 22
Remy's POV
Oh frabjous joy, today Mom and I get to help chaperone Mary Alice's class trip to the zoo. I am wearing a black vest that says "Security". You get to do that when Rangeman makes regular donations to the zoo. MM du jour is Junior. The school bus unloaded the kids and we're off! Mary Alice stuck close to us bc we're cool.
Our first stop is to see the big cats. A group of cats is called a clowder. I learned that on Animal Planet. Tank has a clowder of cats at his house. And cheetahs are the fastest land animal. The lions and tigers were outside and sitting/sleeping in big boxes that were provided for them. It's a cat thing.
My favorites are the elephants. I like to watch them drink water and pick up their food with their trunks and especially when they spray water all over. Guess who got sprayed? Yep - my mom. She said it was only a matter of time. No biggie, it was a warm and breezy day and Mom dried out quickly and Junior only laughed a little, which he tried to hide behind a cough. Yesterday, my Rangeguys showed me an Internet story about a little boy whose teacher was reading his class a zoo book and the little boy said "it's a frickin' elephant". The teacher had to agree, even though the caption actually said "African Elephant".
On to the primates. Mom hid behind Junior when one of the chimpanzees picked up some poop and eyed my mom. She yelled "nonononono" and ran behind Junior. Of course, no creature would dare to fling poop at Junior, so all was well. Junior snickered at that.
This outing is a shortened trip to the zoo where the school pays a greatly reduced price and the kids spend an hour and a half there and see the most popular exhibits and still not have it take up a lot of their school time. So, Mom gets to avoid the reptiles and amphibians. She can love on Freddy when we get home.
The llamas, alpacas, and camels are fun. One of the llamas tried to grab my mom's sun visor but Junior intervened. It seems like the llama should have spit on Junior but Mom got spat on instead. That got a flat-out laugh from Junior. He may be risking the Hawaiian Shaved Ice that Mom promised him he'd get.
On to the sea lions. They were being fed fish and were really loud! I have a much more pleasing bark than they do.
Next, the schoolkids got to feed the giraffes. One of the male giraffes flirted with my mom and nuzzled her. More laughter from Junior.
Next came the petting zoo. The guy in charge raised an eyebrow at Mom and suggested that I not visit the petting zoo due to my "propensity to herd". Duh. I herd, therefore I am. I am an Existential Border Collie.
We took a break and everyone got their Hawaiian Shaved Ice that comes with the price of admission. And I needed a drink of water. Mom carries one of those collapsible bowls and filled it at the water fountain.
Next we saw the big birds - emus and ostriches. They were running around like crazy and chasing some big balloons.
Next up was the demonstration of falconry. The show was ready to start. The guy had a Peregrine falcon, which is one of the most popular birds to train. He asked for a volunteer from the audience. We all know how that will turn out. He picked my mom, of course. He put the gauntlet on her forearm and gave the command. The falcon made a smooth landing on Mom's gauntlet. There was a lot of applause but the falcon (Milo) refused to get off Mom's arm. Milo started pecking at his handler when he tried to remove the gauntlet (and Milo) from Mom. He couldn't even be lured away with food. Junior is doubled over with his hands on his knees and gasping for air at this point. Since we only had the bison and antelope exhibit left, Milo rode on Mom's arm. She rested her hand on Junior's shoulder bc it's hard to hold your arm up for that long. Milo really liked the bison and antelope. By the time we headed back to the falconry exhibit, Milo was ready to go with his handler. I don't know how we would have explained it to Mom's Man - he already has a hamster, turtle, and me in residence. A Peregrine falcon living at Rangeman would make for a lot of bridge-of-the-nose pinching, fingers running through his hair, and speaking in Spanish. Poor guy. Hehehe.
The kids used the restrooms and then loaded onto the school bus. Mom, Junior and I headed back to Rangeman. I can't wait to see what Junior puts in his daily report. You can't make this stuff up!
A/N I appreciate your reviews and letting me take Ranger out of his well-ordered world! Big cats playing with boxes and the "frickin' elephant" stories can be found on the Internet.