A/N — trying to think of something clever or fun to say ... but I got nothing. Happy weekend! xoxo — kals

x

Chapter 10

x

Sasha slipped onto the bench next to Danny, reaching out to snag a french fry from his tray. The mess was relatively empty at this late hour, but Bacon must have just closed up since the food was still warm. "How long until Hunter's lab is up and running?"

Frankie was the one to respond. "That depends on how much of tonight Caroline spends working and how much time she spends sticking her tongue down Cruz's throat."

Danny's scowl was both instant and predictable. "That's my sister you're talking about. And what were you thinking leaving the two of them there together anyway?"

"What I was thinking was that he's probably the only person on this ship who hasn't gotten laid since the ship left Virginia, since we all know how Caroline would react to even a hint of hanky-panky on the side," Frankie threw up a hand to stop Danny from interrupting, "and that I would throw him a bone."

"He is hardly the only person," Sasha began.

Frankie leaned forward. "Oooh! Does the CO have blue balls? Because I can tell you that his mood when we got back was almost as bad as it was back when you volunteered for the vaccine trial. Even the XO admitted that he was in a funk. Did you cut off the extracurriculars? Because if so..."

"What Benz means is that he had plans tonight. Plans that went sideways when the XO assigned Nina to overnight watch," Danny interrupted, nudging his tray in Sasha's direction as she helped herself to more fries and wondered if he was done with his burger. There was at least a quarter left. He glanced in her direction, apparently reading her mind or, more likely, hearing her stomach growling. "Feel free to finish it. That was my second. Although I'm sure that Bacon would be willing to rustle something up."

"This is good," Sasha replied, before turning her gaze to Frankie. "I have no doubt that Caroline will get that lab up and running and she'll have Cruz bending over backwards helping her. If, and I emphasize if they're finished before dawn, I don't care what she uses her spare time for."

"Speak for yourself, Lisichka," Danny muttered, before raising his voice. "Did we get official orders to move to New Orleans, then?"

"Just as soon as everyone is back on Solace," Sasha confirmed, releasing a sigh. After a day spent sparring with Utt and Rachel, then an evening dealing with Amy Granderson, Sasha was exhausted. Or, her mind teased, maybe she was drained because she spent the entire time worrying about Tom. "I convinced Mrs. Granderson to wait until the team has Doctor Hunter's lab running."

"How did you manage that?" Danny asked, brow arching.

Sasha sighed. "I actually don't know. I was in the middle of giving her a load of bullshit about how dangerous it would be to leave the equipment there half installed and how easily it could be turned into a meth lab when..."

"A meth lab?" Choking on his soda, Frankie's laugh turned into a sputter. Danny casually reached over and slapped his back — hard.

Sasha felt the corner of her lips curl. "I know. Maybe she just got tired of listening to me babble. But the upshot is that once the new lab is up and running, it should be able to supply the stadium."

The Nathan James will remain here until everyone who wants to be vaccinated is, whether people are on some official list or not. You have my word.

Somehow, Tom's words were coming true. Eyes drifting closed, Sasha recalled the sea of people crowding around the stadium as the helicopter carrying her, Rachel, and the team back to the Nathan James. For an instant, as Utt's team escorted them to the waiting chopper, Sasha wondered whether opening Doctor Hunter's laboratory had been the right decision after all. Would it have been better to announce that the stadium was closing when Rachel left, sending the remainder of the crowd home until the vaccine could be distributed in an orderly manner? But even as the thought occurred, Sasha knew that it would never have worked. The people here were desperate, just like the crowds in Savannah and Atlanta and likely in every other city in the world. The only way to get ahead of this thing was to spread the vaccine as quickly as possible, even if their methods were haphazard.

"That reminds me," she opened her eyes, pinning Danny. "Next time you decide to reroute a thousand doses of the vaccine, warn me. Utt says thank you, by the way."

The blank stare that Danny gave her didn't seem the least bit contrived. Sasha swung her gaze to Frankie, who tossed up his hands. "Not it. No idea what you're talking about."

She looked between them, waiting for one of them to crack and fess up. "Neither one of you rerouted a pallet of the vaccine from Lejeune to Andrews Air Force Base?" When both shook their heads, Sasha focused on Danny. "Maybe Anders?"

"Possible but," Danny shrugged, "I think he would have told me. The doses went to the guys' families?"

Sasha nodded. "Yes. Andrews is set up as a safe zone for military dependents, including Utt's team. Utt actually thanked me. Said he owed us one."

"Hell, it's the other way around. They saved our butts in Savannah," Frankie said. "Damn, we should have thought of it. They helped us. We should have made sure they had enough doses for their families."

Danny crossed his arms, leaning back. "Actually, I have an idea of who might be responsible."

xxx

By the time Tom opened the door to his cabin, he had been awake for twenty hours. Yet despite his exhaustion, he came to a stop at the sight of Sasha lying across his couch. Unlike the last time he caught her in here, Sasha was asleep, phone lying on her chest, where she must have dropped it after she fell asleep. Quietly, Tom closed the door behind him, moving through the cabin mostly by memory as he located his desk chair. The bed would have made more sense, but there was something soothing about the sound of Sasha's soft, rhythmic breathing.

Something so familiar.

For months after he returned to the States, only to find Sasha gone, Tom found himself listening for her. There were even times when he could swear that he heard the sound of her clicking her pen as she studied, or the thud of her shoes as she entered the apartment. But the middle of the night was always the worst, those times when he would wake up reaching for her, only to be confronted by an empty bed and a suffocating silence.

Those moments, more than anything else, were what drove Tom into Darien's arms. The utter loneliness of not just waking up alone, but knowing that the person you so desperately wanted to see when you opened your eyes was never coming back. Later, after Darien announced that she was tired of being married to a man who was married to the Navy and moved out, Tom expected to feel the same anguish. But, instead, Tom found that there was only relief. Now when he woke up thinking about Sasha, he no longer needed to feel guilty.

It was around that time when Tom admitted Jed was right about rebound relationships. His marriage to Darien was a mistake from the beginning, with both of them too focused on what the next step should be to stop and consider whether they should take it. Still, Tom couldn't actually regret their time together, not when it brought him Sam and Ashley. Tom dropped his head into his hands, sighing, wondering whether Darien would say the same.

"Why did Jed call?"

Her voice, gravelly from sleep, caught him by surprise. He hadn't heard the slight hitch that indicated her transition from sleep to wakefulness. Or, perhaps, Sasha managed to lose the tell over their years apart. "Darien has the virus."

Too late, Tom whether he should have deflected the question. After all, not only was Darien his ex-wife, but she was also the woman who answered the telephone so many years ago when Sasha called. His decision to start a relationship with Darien was the reason that he lost Sasha and now, once again, Darien was center stage. But he shouldn't have worried.

"Oh Tom." He heard, rather than saw, her move until she was next to him, wrapping him in her arms — and Tom felt something inside of him thaw. "Has she received the cure? What about the kids?"

"The kids are fine," his voice was muffled against her chest and Tom reluctantly eased back, surprised when Sasha slipped into his lap, cheek resting against his chest. He lifted his own hands, slipping them around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Thank god," Sasha whispered. "Every time I saw a child today, I wondered if that's why Jed ..."

Sasha trailed off, and Tom felt her swallow. He tightened his grip. The children got to all of them. "Darien and I share custody, but she's always been good about letting Dad take her when I'm out to sea. He convinced her that he wanted to take them up to the cabin for a whole month, totally checking out from the world. I'm guessing that was your suggestion?"

A slight hesitation, then Sasha nodded. "I told him to get as far away from people as possible. I thought that Darien would go with them."

Tom ghosted his lips across her hair. "Darien hates camping. Dad knew that she would never agree to join them so he offered to pay for this fancy yoga retreat up in the Green Mountains. She's talked about going for years but it was expensive and, with the kids, there never seemed to be a good time." Tom realized that he was babbling. He sighed. "I offered to have her moved to a safe zone but she thought it was safe. The place closed down early and put multiple safeguards in place."

He could feel Sasha's sudden tension. "Can you get her the cure?"

"Your friend Jesse offered," Tom admitted softly, feeling Sasha's hand twitch at the mention of her friend. "But Dad called in a favor from a friend at the Pentagon instead. He said that he didn't want to delay Jesse any longer. Oh, she said that she'll call when she gets to Hawaii."

Sasha's head lifted, her breath hot on his neck. "Does that mean the kids are vaccinated? Jed? What about Emma and Jay's sister?"

It took Tom a minute to place Jay as Jason Smith, Emma presumably Berchem's daughter, the disconnect an unpleasant reminder of the life that Sasha created for herself. The one that didn't involve him. Shaking off the thought, Tom recalled the question. "Yes, they used the doses from Jesse for the kids. Dad said there's a woman, some kind of doctor, who thinks she can replicate the vaccine."

"Rebecca, most likely."

The coolness in Sasha's voice was interesting. "I take it that you aren't a fan?"

"Danny's ex," Sasha explained, then sighed. "It's a long story."

Was it really? Or did Sasha still not trust him with her — or Green's — secrets?

"I've got time."

Sasha snorted. "It's two in the morning and we have to be awake in four hours. Believe me when I say that this is not the time to talk about the QB." QB? Tom was about to ask when Sasha continued. "I'm sorry about Darien, Tom. I hope that she gets the cure in time. I imagine..."

It took a moment for Tom to catch up. "That maybe I'm getting an idea of how you felt when Green was in that tent?"

Again she shifted, one shoulder moving in a shrug. "Well, yes. You must have loved her. Probably still love her, in some way. If nothing else, it would be awful for Sam and Ashely to lose their mother."

Tom waited, considering his response, feeling the weight of every word. "Darien's a wonderful person and a fantastic mother. I do love her, of course, but..." He paused, loyalty to Darien battling with his desire to tell Sasha everything. No more secrets. "We both fell in love with an idea, not a person."

Sasha was so still that Tom wondered if she was still breathing. "What does that mean?"

Tom gave a sigh, fighting the urge to tighten his hold on Sasha — to prolong this moment for as long as possible. "Darien fell in love with a Navy officer. Think Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman." Sasha gave a soft snort and Tom risked raising a finger to run along her cheek, twirling a loose strand of hair. "And for me, Darien seemed like the perfect Navy wife. Someone to hold down the fort and raise the kids while I was at sea. But we weren't married for long before we realized that we didn't actually know each other very well, and we didn't have a lot in common. Like the fact that Darien hates camping and I would rather go back to boot camp than spend a month at a yoga retreat."

"And you wanted someone who would raise the kids?" Sasha asked, voice steady, yet there was something behind the question. Tom blinked, trying to recall whether he and Sasha ever talked about children, back in the day. But the only conversations he recalled about the future all revolved around their work.

"Darien had some health issues," Tom said carefully, still playing with the strand of hair. "She wanted to be a mother more than anything but the doctors told her that she might not be able to have children. I think she would have wanted more kids, actually, but she had complications with Sam's delivery."

"Jed said that Sam was born early?"

"Thirty-two weeks. Darien had a placental abruption and ended up having a hysterectomy," Tom explained.

Sasha was quiet for a full minute, then she sighed. "I don't know that I have a maternal gene, Tom. I'm not as bad as Benz. I mean, I've never actually lost anyone's kid," Tom blinked but didn't interrupt, "but I also don't know how to raise children either."

"Yes, you do," Tom asserted, not a single doubt in his mind. He could feel Sasha's protest rising, and lifted his hands to frame her face, wishing that he could see her expression in the dark. "You saved them, Sasha. You risked your career to make sure that my children were safe from the virus. You may not be able to see it, but I can. Ashley and Sam have a mother, they don't need another one. What they do need are people they can depend on to put their needs first, and you've already shown me that you will. You already have."

One of Sasha's hands lifted, to cup his. "I had a conversation with Utt today."

Startled by the change in topic, Tom leaned back. "Commander Utt?"

"Yes." The hand resting on his chest moved to his collar, then to the hair on the back of his neck. "Someone misdirected a couple of pallets of the vaccine over to Andrews. Utt thought it was me."

Warning bells sounding in his head, Tom spoke cautiously. "And was it you?"

"Nope," Sasha drew the word out. Then, leaning forward, she brushed her mouth across his and stood. "We both know that you were the one who redirected the pallets when you went to Lejeune to speak personally with Mrs. Granderson. Danny was the one who figured it out, actually. You were doing for Utt's people what I did for you. Paying it forward, as it were."

"You care more than you want to admit, Sasha," Tom whispered. "It's not a flaw."

When Sasha next spoke, Tom could tell that she was by the door. "Maybe it's not."