Winter's Echo
Chapter Thirty-Nine – Homecoming
Elsa squeezed her eyes shut against the bright ray of sunlight that fell across her face, her beautiful porcelain features pulling into a pouty frown. She wasn't ready to wake up yet, not now that she had finally had a chance at a deep, proper sleep. Not only was she not ready, she was nowhere near anything that even looked like being ready - that's how not ready to wake up she was. In fact, executive decision – she was not getting out of bed. Short of the castle being on fire, there was no reason for her to. What was the point of having any power if not for this exact reason? Content with her decision, she turned her head away from the rudeness of the sun and snuggled deeper into her warm pillow, sighing in content when it pulled her closer.
Wait, what?
Elsa opened her eyes blearily, blinking against the bright light as she tried to focus. This wasn't her bedroom. A deep sigh from her 'pillow' brought about the waking rush of memories from the night before and hopeful blue eyes lifted to gaze upon her sleeping lover's face, glowing beautifully in the late morning sun. Honeymaren lay on her back with one arm behind her head on the pillow, the other wrapped protectively around the queen's shoulders. Elsa laid almost on top of her noaide, her head nestled on her chest and shoulder, her body sidled as closely as possible to her warmth and her leg nestled comfortably between the Northuldran's. The queen's arm was draped across Honeymaren's chest, pale fingers tangled loosely in dark waves of silk near the base of her neck. She inhaled deeply, the comforting scent of fresh wood, leather, and a crisp wind that was unmistakably Honeymaren filled her senses and her soul. Now that was something worth waking up for.
But by the Gods, was she comfortable.
Her body felt heavy, an incredibly delicious ache running through the entirety of it and the queen blushed hotly as the reason for the ache flashed in her memory. Well...reasons. Plural. So many plurals. Despite the deepening blush, an unapologetic grin broke across the queen's face - she regretted nothing. Elsa was flying on cloud nine, now suddenly happier than she could possibly explain to have woken up because that meant that Honeymaren coming back wasn't a dream - it was real...this was real. Everything was going to be okay now, her magic could feel it. She could feel it. Through a terrifying series of trials and impossible miracles, her brave, beautiful, extraordinary noaide was returned to her and safe in her arms where she belonged and for the first time in forever, Elsa was happy. Truly, entirely, unconditionally happy.
Elsa took this rare moment of calm and quiet to silently observe her sleeping lover. She played with the hair in her fingers, inspecting the beautiful range of warm reds and oranges that now colored the ends. She smiled when she held it up in a ray of late morning sunlight, marveling how it almost seemed to glow like fire itself. Crystalline eyes moved on to take in the beautiful, heart-shaped face she loved more than life itself. Honeymaren looked so calm and peaceful, almost child-like as she slept. Though the noaide had never once complained, nor would she ever let on to it, Elsa knew her lover often carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. Like her, Honeymaren had been groomed from a young age for a destiny of pre-ordained greatness and a life of leadership and responsibility. Elsa knew more than anyone what such a burden did to even the strongest of people, so to see Honeymaren so serene made the queen's heart sigh with relief.
Her eyes fell to the angry-looking scar on Honeymaren's chest near where her hand lay and the queen bit her lip slightly. Out of what was quickly becoming instinct, the winter spirit laid her palm against the Northuldran's heart, closing her eyes as she felt the reassuringly strong and steady rhythm beneath her fingers. That particular nightmare was over but that scar would forever be a reminder to the queen never to take a single day for granted, for that scar was the proof that the next breath was promised to no one. Subconsciously, her fingers lightly traced the outline of the scar as her mind began to wander, her arctic gaze lingering lovingly on her beloved.
It wasn't often she was afforded such a view of her lover since the noaide usually woke with the dawn. Elsa was a naturally early riser herself, but village life started earlier than the sun and Honeymaren often already had most of her chores and several of Elsa's done by the time the queen began to stir. While this had always irked the winter spirit who wanted desperately to be of use to her new people, Honeymaren would simply smile and hand Elsa a bowl of whatever breakfast the noaide had decided to surprise her with that day. One night when Elsa had tried to scold her love for the admittedly sweet and well-meaning but spoiling habit, Honeymaren suggested that if Elsa had such a problem with it, then she should wake earlier than her. She had bet the queen right then and there that if she could wake up the next morning before Honeymaren, the noaide would make Elsa her favorite stew for dinner especially for her.
"That tickles, you know," Honeymaren's smooth, sleep-laden voice rumbled through her chest against Elsa's ear. Elsa simply smiled brightly, crystalline blue eyes lifting to meet warm and loving does as they gazed upon her adoringly, warm fingers brushing lightly up and down her shoulder and bicep. Elsa laid her hand flat against the scar to soothe the tickling sensation, sighing deeply and snuggling in closer to her. "Do you remember the last time I woke up before you?" Elsa asked, a teasing lilt in her voice. Honeymaren snorted slightly, stretching her arms out before wrapping both of them around the queen and pulling her closer. "Do you remember me telling you that staying awake all night didn't constitute as waking up early?" Elsa pulled her head back a bit to rest it on Honeymaren's outer shoulder so she could look at her properly, a small, playful grin on her face. "Yet you still made me dinner." Honeymaren smirked and rolled to her side, slipping an arm beneath Elsa's head and around her shoulders, the other snaking around her waist so she could pull the queen's nude form flush against her. "That was an act of love, not a concession." Elsa chuckled and snuggled closer against her lover, tucking her head under her chin and sighing in contentment. "Nuance," she murmured.
Honeymaren's soft chuckle rumbled through her chest as she ran her fingertips lightly up and down the smooth, creamy skin of the queen's back that was now marred with several faint red trails the Northuldran's fingernails had left in their passion the night before. "I think I'm spoiling you, Your Majesty," Honeymaren teased, placing several soft kisses atop Elsa's head. "I may need to start telling you 'no' on principle at some point."
Elsa smirked and pressed her lips to Honeymaren's collarbone slowly, trailing them teasingly across her chest and up to her throat. She reached up with one hand to push firmly on the noaide's shoulder, following her as she pushed her onto her back once more. Elsa's other hand slid through her lover's dark tresses and gripped the silky locks, tugging on them firmly to force Honeymaren's head back, exposing her neck to the queen's lips as she easily straddled the Northuldran's hips. Honeymaren groaned softly as the queen's tongue instantly found a particularly sensitive spot she had discovered the night before, her hands moving to the queen's hips and grasping them tightly as her breathing quickened. "I've created a monster," the dark-haired woman groaned. "How are you even moving after last night?" Honeymaren didn't know how it was possible, but last night had proved that the queen secretly had an insatiable lust coupled with an unholy stamina; the noaide chalked it up to the dizzying emotional ride the blonde had been trapped on for the last month.
"Is this your attempt to start telling me 'no', darling?" Elsa whispered huskily in her ear, rolling her hips against Honeymaren's for good measure and eliciting a soft gasp from the Northuldran. "I said 'at some point'. This is not that point. It's nowhere near that point. In fact, forget I said anything. Shut up and kiss me." The queen flashed her a sexy little grin, slowly leaning down until her face was inches from hers. "I live to serve, my love," she breathed, brushing her lips tantalizingly against Honeymaren's. Just as she was about to claim the noaide's full, kiss bruised lips for what must have been the thousandth time in the past twelve hours, a deep, rumbling sound echoed throughout the castle.
"MAMAS! WHERE ARE YOU MAMAS?"
Both Elsa's and Honeymaren's eyes flew open, their lips still frozen in their interrupted kiss.
"No...no, no, no, no!" Elsa murmured in a panic, disappearing from above her love in the blink of an eye and leaving Honeymaren in a bewildered daze. The moment she sat up, her world turned dark as her shirt and pants were thrown at her face. "Quick, get dressed! I can't have another birds and the bees talk with a snowman, I refuse!" Honeymaren pulled her clothes off of her face to fix the queen with a curious look. "How...how does a conversation like that even go?" she asked out of sheer morbid curiosity. Elsa quickly waved a hand over herself, her icy traveling outfit reappearing as good as new while raising an elegant eyebrow in her direction. "If you would like to experience it for yourself, you need only stay naked for another fifteen seconds or so before the pleasure is all yours, dear."
Honeymaren's eyes went wide as the rumbling quickly grew closer, as though it were coming up the stairs. There was no way that goliath Marshmallow could fit on those stairs, which could only mean...
"Oh, shit!"
Honeymaren was a blur of movement as she scrambled to get dressed, pulling her undershirt on over her head in record time. Elsa blinked, watching in amusement she didn't bother to try to hide as her lover scrambled off of the bed, trying desperately to yank her pants on. The dark-haired woman bounced on one foot as she tried to shove her other leg into her pants just as the large double doors were flung open and an avalanche of snowgies burst into the room. She fell over with a yelp as her legs were swept out from beneath her, a wave of tiny little snowmen carrying her across the room as she yelled out in surprise. Elsa covered her mouth with her hand to hide her grin and her giggles only to let out her own squeak of surprise when she was swept away as well, both women riding the swift wave of sentient snow all the way down the massive staircase and being deposited on their feet at the bottom. Marshmallow was there waiting for them with a giant, happy grin on his snowy face, leaning down to put his face near them. "HI MAMAS!"
"Marshmallow," Elsa said in a gently disapproving tone, her hands folded regally in front of her. "I know you are excited to see us, but you can't just send all of your brothers and sisters to kidnap people. It's not very polite to force someone to go where they don't want to, is it?" Honeymaren watched the giant snow golem's oddly expressive face crumble at his creator's light scolding, giant hands coming together to make deadly icicle fingers click together shyly. "Yes, Mama," came the surprisingly quiet reply. Honeymaren felt an odd warmth bloom in her chest when she saw a gentle and lovingly exasperated smile tug the corners of the queen's mouth out of its thin, stern line as she walked up and placed a reassuring hand on his leg, beckoning him down to her level. When he bent down, she placed a sweet kiss where his nose should have been. "It's okay to make mistakes, big guy, and a mistake will never change that I love you. Okay?"
Giant craters where Marshmallow's eyes should have been creased in hope and worry. "Promise, Mama still love me?" Elsa smiled and nodded, standing on her tiptoes to adjust a...tiara? Honeymaren blinked and tilted her head in fascination – she would definitely have to ask Elsa about that one. "Yes, Marshmallow. I promise. I make mistakes all the time – and you still love me, right?" Marshmallow nodded emphatically, forcing Elsa to take a small step back despite the amused smile on her face. "Good," she said with a chuckle. "That makes me happy. Now, I think you owe Honeymaren an apology," she said, gesturing slightly to her. Honeymaren was about to wave off the necessity when Marshmallow turned to her with a snowy face that once held such malice and danger to her, yet now conveyed the most childlike innocence she had ever seen. "I'm sorry, Mama," he said quietly.
Honeymaren suddenly felt her heart skip a beat, wide and surprised eyes flicking immediately to arctic blues that mirrored her own before looking back to Marshmallow. "Uh...that's okay, buddy. Mistakes are the best way to learn. Aren't they, Elsa?" she asked, eager to turn the attention back to the queen. Elsa seemed to snap out of her own moment of reflection, nodding in agreement. "That's right, they very much are. Now, Maren and I have to go back to Arendelle before it gets too dark, alright big guy? Can I have one last warm hug?" Elsa asked, holding her arms out wide to her snow goliath. Marshmallow eagerly accepted the embrace, pressing his snowy face against Elsa and soaking in her affection. When Elsa pulled away, his big, snowy head turned to look expectantly at Honeymaren. Twilight flecked eyes shifted to the queen, who gave the tiniest shrug. 'It's your choice,' her eyes said.
Honeymaren sighed and smiled warmly, opening her arms wide to the giant snowman. Marshmallow gave a booming laugh of delight and eagerly brought his large hand behind Honeymaren to hold her against his face, her feet leaving the ground and dangling in the air for a few moments in his excitement. Honeymaren only laughed and squeezed him back as best she could, Elsa smiling brightly at the pair from a few yards away.
After one last round of goodbye hugs, both women waved to the happy snow giant from the bottom of the staircase before turning from him and walking into the woods. As they crossed the tree line, Honeymaren reached out to grasp Elsa's hand gently in her own, entwining their fingers together with a smile. "Where to, my love?" she asked, rather looking forward to a trek through the snowy woods with the queen in her element. Elsa smiled back at her, giving her hand a light squeeze. "Well, as much as I'd love to keep you all to myself, I think there are a few people who would be quite cross with me if I monopolized your miraculous return any longer. So I would say that is up to you, darling." Honeymaren took a deep, calming breath and slowly released it, mentally preparing herself for what lay ahead of them, a bright pair of sky blue eyes sparkling at the forefront of her mind.
"Ryder," she said softly. "He is my priority." Elsa nodded, taking a quick glance at the sun before veering them slightly to the East. "Enchanted forest it is, then. We will have to walk until we can find a source of water to call Nokk from, I'm afraid," she said with an apologetic tone. Honeymaren raised an amused eyebrow at the queen, chuckling. "What, no magical snow beast for us to ride?" Elsa smiled a bit, though it faded quickly from her face. The dark-haired woman blinked in confusion when the blonde didn't immediately offer a witty reply, her brow furrowing in concern as she saw Elsa losing herself in her thoughts. "Hey," she said with a gentle squeeze to the pale one in hers. "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to upset you." Elsa's smiled returned immediately and she shook her head in dismissal, pressing close to her lover. "No, you didn't do anything wrong, Maren. It's just that..." Elsa sighed softly and paused, looking at the snowy ground as she walked.
"It's daunting, you know? To be able to create life – sentient life. I made Olaf and Marshmallow by accident," she admitted quietly after a long moment, watching her booted feet carve a path in the snow. "Olaf I made from a loving memory of Anna and I as children. I guess it was an attempt to keep her and her love close to me in those first moments of purposefully using my powers as a free adult. Marshmallow I made to...well, to keep the real Anna as far away from the real me, the dangerous me as possible for her own protection." Honeymaren bit her lip to stifle the immediate argument against the queen deeming herself dangerous, rooting herself in what Elsa was trying to share with her. Crystalline blue eyes turned to meet patient, twilight flecked does. "I mean, you see it, Maren. Both of them have thoughts and feelings and wants and dreams – lives just as complex and intricate as our own. Yet, I created them on selfish whims, ignorant of what my powers were capable of." Elsa shook herself slightly before shaking her head. "So, yes, I could conjure up a snowy beast of burden for us...but knowing now what my magic is capable of, it's something I never want to do again."
Honeymaren mulled over the queen's words in her head for a moment – she had never thought of it from that perspective. She smiled slightly, watching the queen with mute fascination. Elsa's quixotic mind never ceased to amaze and inspire her. "Well," she said after a long moment. "That's a shame." Elsa blinked in surprise, her eyes flicking to Honeymaren's and her head tilting in askance. Honeymaren smiled warmly, bringing the pale hand in hers to her lips and placing a soft kiss on the back of it. "You make a wonderful mother, Elsa," she murmured softly, her voice and her eyes full of such genuine truth from which the words were spoken that Elsa could only blush brightly, her gaze falling shyly back to their snowy path. Watching Elsa interact with Marshmallow had breathed life into a desire Honeymaren had never truly felt until then.
She wanted to have a family.
She wanted to make a family.
With Elsa.
She suddenly imagined the beautiful queen holding a tinier version of herself, eyes of the brightest blue and curly, white-gold ringlets around a cherubic face. She imagined Elsa singing the small child to sleep, rocking her in her arms while Honeymaren watched from the door of Elsa's bedroom. Honeymaren saw herself introducing the little girl to Bruni and heard the child's delighted giggles echoing through the trees of the enchanted forest as the fire lizard raced about, chirping excitedly.
"Do you want children, Elsa?"
Wide, blue eyes snapped to her so fast Honeymaren felt the muscles in her own neck twitch. "W-What?" the queen asked in bewilderment. Honeymaren chuckled at the clear surprise in her lover's face. "I said, 'do you want children?'" she repeated, trying to keep herself from smirking. Elsa's blush intensified, the normally articulate queen's mouth suddenly forsaking her as it opened and closed wordlessly. Honeymaren raised an amused eyebrow, reaching out and lifting a snowy pine branch out of the queen's way just before she walked into it, a smirk tugging at her lips when a thick dusting of snow fell from the perfumed branch and onto Elsa's head. "W-We can't...I-I mean, we aren't able t-to...y-you know..." Elsa murmured incoherently as she reached up to brush the snow from her hair, clearing her throat and quickly turning her burning face away from her lover in embarrassment. The blonde gathered her wits together, a mask of unconcerned nonchalance slipping into place. "What I mean is, it's not a possibility for us so I haven't given the idea any thought." Honeymaren frowned, unconvinced, as she watched the anxious queen hurry ahead, weaving through the trees of the increasingly dense forest. She didn't need her abilities as a noaide to tell her what had just happened.
Elsa had just told her an outright lie.
But why? She could sense an odd emotion in her lover she couldn't quite place. Uncertainty? Nervousness? Why would Elsa lie about having pondered starting a family?
"And why is that not a possibility?" Honeymaren instead asked as she followed the queen's trail, twilight flecked eyes watching Elsa's body language carefully as she tried to piece together yet another puzzle of her beloved's psyche. The queen turned her head slightly to look at her lover over her shoulder, a playful little smirk tugging the corner of her mouth upward. "Just because you're not a snowman does not mean I'm suddenly ready to explain the birds and the bees, darling." Honeymaren rolled her eyes, despite the small blush that crept into her sun-kissed cheeks. "I meant that if we wanted to-"
"Aha! I have an idea!"
Honeymaren blinked when Elsa's sudden enthusiasm cut her off mid-sentence, frowning once more at the queen's clear evasion of the subject. The noaide took a quiet, calming breath and exhaled slowly. Something about the concept of children clearly made her lover uncomfortable, so she decided to let the subject drop for now. She knew Elsa would eventually open up to her about it in her own time – she always did, and Honeymaren loved her enough to be patient and wait for her to be ready. She followed the queen beyond the dense tree line to the edge of a hillside, surprised at how quickly they had made it through the trees. Honeymaren moved behind her love, slipping her arms around her waist and pulling her close to nuzzle her neck affectionately. "What's your idea, baby?"
The tension in Elsa's shoulders melted away at her love's clear acceptance of her discomfort and smiled adoringly at Honeymaren, closing her eyes for a moment and pressing closer to her. 'Thank you,' she tried to say with her embrace. They stayed that way for a long moment, soaking in the closeness before Elsa spoke quietly, a hint of playful mischief in her voice. "Have you ever been sledding, Maren?" Honeymaren blinked, looking at the steep and seemingly endless expanse of hill before them before her eyes flicked to Elsa's grin of growing excitement. She was unable to hide her own steadily widening smile as she realized what the queen was asking her to do. "Yeah?" she asked, seeking confirmation of Elsa's desires. The queen nodded with a small giggle, stepping out of her lover's embrace before waving her hands delicately in the air, a sled that looked more like half of a miniature sleigh forming before Honeymaren's eyes.
The Northuldran smiled, watching the glee on the queen's face as she flicked her hands this way and that, adding intricate little details and finishing touches to her creation. She would never get tired of watching the beautiful spirit play with her powers. The queen truly was a wonder to behold when she was in her element and it never ceased to steal the Northuldran's breath from her lungs. The sled had a comfortable looking sleigh-like back on it, delicate icy filigree decorating its frosty surface and the ends of the rails of the sled curling in on themselves in a spiral. "It looks like a pretty clear path down these hills before we run out of snow. If we are lucky, we may get to the forest before we lose the light, even if we don't find water," Elsa said with a bright smile as she observed her new creation.
Honeymaren grinned and playfully scooped the queen up in her arms, eliciting a surprised yelp and laugh from the blonde. "Well, what are we waiting for, Your Majesty?" she asked with a laugh before settling onto the icy sled, scooting all the way back until she was up against the sleigh end and setting the queen down between her legs. She reached forward and pulled the spirit of winter close, wrapping her arms securely around her waist and propping her legs up on either side of her to box her in protectively. "Are you sure you know how to drive this thing, Elsa?" she asked, though there was no hint of doubt in her voice. Elsa leaned back against her, tucking her own legs in front of her and grinning from ear to ear. "I guess we are going to find out!" she said with a laugh as a quick wave of her hand suddenly pushed the sled forward and over the edge of the hill.
Honeymaren whooped with joy as they soared down the hill, the world whipping past the lovers in a blur all around them. Elsa laughed openly and pressed back against her noaide as she subtly steered their vessel with carefully placed snow and ice. A subtle extra inch of snow on the right to veer left, a small patch of low-friction ice for a boost of speed to turn just a bit faster, giggling all the while like she was a little girl again. Elsa held her arms up and tilted her face toward the warmth of the bright afternoon sun, her white-gold locks flying in the wind behind her.
She felt like she was flying - and with her beloved noaide at her back, she thought she may never come down again.
All too soon, the brown and green earth of Spring began to loom before them in the distance as they sped away from the snowy peaks and Honeymaren wrapped her arms lovingly around Elsa as it grew closer. "This is awesome, Elsa. We should travel like this everywhere. In fact, I am making an official request. Sledding all day, every day," Honeymaren said with a grin.
But Elsa didn't answer.
Honeymaren tilted her head curiously as the blonde stiffened in her arms, pale hands coming down from their carefree position and gripping the sides of the sled in a death-grip. "Snowflake?" she asked uncertainly.
"...we're not slowing down."
The Northuldran blinked for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly. "We will eventually, sweetheart. I'm not opposed to coasting for a while."
Wide, nervous blue eyes looked at the dark-haired woman over her shoulder. "Before we hit that tree line?" she asked, pointing at the bottom of the hill at the forest that once again began to claim the landscape as it leveled out. "Um...okay, maybe we need to figure out a way to stop," Honeymaren said, looking around quickly. "Do you have any way to slow us down?" Elsa bit her lip, eyes locked on the tree line growing ever nearer. "Hold on," she said in a shaky voice, hesitantly holding her hands out in front of her. Several yards ahead of them, a dozen giant piles of snow appeared in their path one after the other and Honeymaren's twilight flecked eyes grew wide. She immediately reached out for Elsa, pulling the queen close and hunching over her protectively, tucking the blonde's head safely against her chest just before they hit the first pile.
The women lurched forward slightly at the impact, the sled sailing right through the chilly powder. Honeymaren spit out a mouthful of snow just in time to hit the second pile, holding Elsa tightly as they lurched forward a bit harder this time. By the fourth pile they were nearly unseated as the sled began to struggle to break through the snow. Honeymaren held Elsa as tightly as she could and ducked her head down as they hit the next pile, knowing this time they would be ejected from the sled. True to her prediction, the sled finally came to an instant halt as it buried itself deep within the snowy barrier, sending its passengers flying straight through its peak and hurtling through the air. Honeymaren let out a strangled cry of effort as she fought desperately to keep her protective hold on the snow queen, the pair soaring straight into the next and final snowdrift just before the tree line, becoming buried deep within it with a muffled thud.
Elsa poked her head up through the snow with a gasp, spitting out the traitorous substance and looking around desperately. "Maren?!" she cried, frantic eyes searching for her lover before hearing a muffled noise from deeper within the snow beneath her. Pale hands quickly scooped away the snow in panic as she tried to dig her noaide out. When she finally found and brushed the snow away from Honeymaren's face, she stared down at her love with wide, disbelieving eyes.
She was laughing.
The dark-haired woman laughed openly and loudly, even as she coughed slightly from the snow in her mouth. Elsa's brow furrowed in confused concern, her fretting hands trailing all over the laughing woman. "Are you alright?! Are you hurt?!" Honeymaren caught her breath just enough to smile brightly at Elsa, sitting up in the snow. "Of course I'm alright, Elsa, it's just snow. That was fun!" The queen frowned in disapproval, shaking her head. "It was not 'fun', Honeymaren, it was foolish. I could have killed us both!" she said sternly as she began scrambling to remove herself from the snow pile. "I don't know what I was thinking, suggesting something so dangerous without even thinking it through properly."
"You were thinking you wanted to have fun, and it was fun, Snowflake. We're okay, nobody was hurt," Honeymaren reasoned as she scrambled out of the snow after her and reached out to grasp her hand. "But you could have been!" Elsa shouted, ripping her hand away and rounding on her lover angrily. "And it's my fault!" Honeymaren blinked in surprise at the sudden bitter anger in the queen's voice before realization lit in her twilight flecked eyes. "Where are you right now, Elsa?" she asked after a moment. Pale, angry features morphed to annoyed confusion at the question. "What? What are you talking about? We're at the forest's edge," she answered icily as she turned away from Honeymaren, raising her hand to dematerialize the sled and the snow piles with a harsh, quick wave of her hand.
"Are you sure you're not in the castle playing with Anna?"
Elsa froze, her eyes widening as the haunting memory flashed in her mind. "That's the reason you don't want to talk about having a family, isn't it Elsa? It's not that you don't want one - it's that you're afraid to have one." Her lover's voice was closer this time. Elsa closed her eyes tightly, her fingernails digging painfully into her palms as they clenched into shaking fists at her sides. "You're afraid you might hurt them," Honeymaren said gently as she came to stand in front of Elsa, reaching out to brush a stray lock of windblown white-gold silk from Elsa's face, her heart squeezing painfully in her chest when the queen flinched slightly from her touch. "Elsa," she began quietly. "Baby, you were just a little girl...you didn't mean for anything to happen to Anna."
"No," came Elsa's harsh reply, bitter arctic crystals opening to meet the dark-haired woman's gaze – the understanding and love in those chocolate pools nearly broke the queen. "Don't," she whispered softly, looking away from the doe eyes that saw far too much of the broken queen. "Don't make excuses for me. It's not just Anna that I've hurt," she admitted as she wrapped her arms around herself defensively. "Anna was the only person you ever hurt with your magic, sweetheart," Honeymaren said with a confused frown as Elsa shook her head. "Maren...do you realize that everyone I have ever loved has died because of me?" Honeymaren blinked in confusion, one hand reaching out to gently cup Elsa's cheek. "What do you mean, baby?" she asked, feeling her heart crack when the queen pulled away from her touch with a sad shake of her head. "My parents died trying to find answers about me. Anna basically died to protect me from Hans. And you..." Elsa shook her head again, her gaze falling to the forest floor. "You and Anna coming back to me are impossible phenomenons that shouldn't have ever happened. There are only so many miracles that can happen, Maren, and neither of you would have needed one if it wasn't for me."
The queen lifted her eyes to Honeymaren's once more, her voice quiet and pleading. "I know how deeply you love me, Honeymaren, but please...don't let it blind you to the truth." When Elsa turned to walk away, Honeymaren reached out to gently grasp the queen's arm, halting her escape. "What truth is that, Elsa?" she asked calmly, pulling the blonde back to her and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "That you're 'dangerous'?" she challenged with a raised eyebrow. Elsa closed her eyes and looked away only for a warm and gentle hand to guide her face back to Honeymaren's. "Elsa. Look at me." The queen opened her eyes slowly in hesitant obedience, meeting her lover's reassuring gaze. "Your magic is not dangerous, my love," Honeymaren said soothingly, brushing the back of her fingers against Elsa's cheek. "You are not dangerous." When Elsa opened her mouth to argue, warm fingertips pressed against her lips silenced her before she could speak. "You're not, Snowflake. Your misplaced guilt, your uncertainty, your lack of trust in yourself...your fear. That is what is dangerous, sweet spirit. Can you name a single time when your magic did any harm that wasn't during a moment when you doubted yourself?"
"Maren..." Elsa began in frustration, attempting to turn away, but Honeymaren held fast, reaching down to grasp Elsa's hands and uncurl them from around her waist. "Do you trust me, Elsa?" she asked quietly, bringing pale hands up to her lips. "In my instincts? My abilities as a noaide?" Crystalline eyes instantly met twilight flecked chocolate. "With my life," she responded without hesitation. "Always." Honeymaren smiled, wrapping her free arm around the queen's trim waist and pulling her closer to her. "Have I ever let you down, my beautiful queen? In all our time together, have I ever not protected you? Have I ever failed to keep you and those around you safe?" Elsa sighed softly, relaxing ever so slightly under the Northuldran's touch. "No..." she murmured and lowered her head, only for Honeymaren to hook a finger under her chin and guide her gaze upward again. "Then trust me now, Elsa. Trust my instincts. If you can't trust yourself yet, then trust that I know the woman I love, inside and out, and that I believe in you more than anyone or anything. Mistakes do not make you dangerous - your fear of making mistakes does. You are human, sweetheart. A remarkable, incredible, impossibly amazing human," she added with a wry smile, "but a human you remain."
Elsa rolled her eyes and sighed softly, wrapping her arms around Honeymaren's neck and laying her head on her shoulder. The noaide smiled warmly and held the queen close, pressing a soft kiss to Elsa's forehead and stroking her soft, white-gold locks. Honeymaren placed her lips near the queen's ear and whispered gently to her. "You are the most selfless, nurturing, and loving person I've ever met. Any child would be blessed to have you as a mother, my queen." Elsa blushed, pulling away just enough to meet her lover's gaze with hopeful uncertainty. "Do you really think so?" Honeymaren smiled and shook her head. "No, my love. I don't think so. I know it with all of my heart," she corrected, teasing the corner of the queen's mouth with her thumb and grinning when it elicited a quiet chuckle and a smile from the monarch.
Elsa glanced upward and sighed slightly, dropping her head back to her love's shoulder and nuzzling her neck for a moment before pulling away. "It's going to be getting dark soon, Maren. We should get going if we want to be at camp before nightfall." Honeymaren glanced up as well, noting how low the sun was already sitting on the horizon and nodding in agreement. She gave Elsa a playful smirk and offered her arm gallantly. "Fancy a walk through the woods with me, my love?" The queen smiled and slipped her arm into Honeymaren's, pressing close to her. "With you? Always."
The sun was just beginning to set by the time the pair reached Northuldra territory, the familiar sounds of the encampment faint but unmistakable on the breeze. As they approached, Elsa felt her lover tense against her, slowing their pace ever so slightly. The queen paused, looking up at Honeymaren questioningly before her eyes softened seeing the clear uncertainty in her twilight-flecked depths. "You're nervous," she observed quietly. Though there was no accusation in her tone, the queen couldn't completely hide the hint of surprise in her voice. It was a rare moment indeed that her lover ever showed any outward hint of anything but complete control and confidence in herself. Honeymaren's eyes flicked to patient blue pools before she sighed softly through her nose, nodding slightly and coming to a complete stop. Elsa raised her eyebrow, a small but playful smirk tugging at her lips. "If I recall, you didn't put this much thought into revealing yourself to me," the queen pouted slightly, trying to lift the noaide's spirits. Honeymaren gave her a slight, almost sad smile. "My whole world revolved around you in both of my lives, Snowflake, as Honeymaren and Revontuli - I couldn't be with you fast enough. But the Northuldra...Ryder...I left them. I chose to leave them because I chose not to live without you." Honeymaren turned her longing gaze to the encampment, heart-shaped features creased in worry. "What if they don't forgive me?" she asked in a voice so soft Elsa almost missed it. "What if...what if Ryder doesn't forgive me?"
Elsa followed Honeymaren's gaze, watching the faraway movements of the camp for a moment before lacing her fingers with hers, drawing the fire maven's gaze back to her. "Maren, you saved them. You saved the enchanted forest. You saved Arendelle and Calabria, as well. You're a hero and deserve to be welcomed as one." Honeymaren turned to face Elsa, releasing the queen's hand in favor of wrapping her arms fully around the beautiful monarch, resting her forehead against hers gently and soaking in the comfort of having her beloved in her arms. "If you recall, you were also very angry with me, Snowflake. Or do you not remember screaming at me on the fjord?" she pointed out, smirking slightly. Elsa frowned and poked Honeymaren's ribcage chidingly, frowning in disapproval. "I don't find that funny, Honeymaren. And you're damn right, I was angry. If I'm being completely honest, part of me still is. But...it's an anger borne of hurt. I was hurt because when you...died..." Elsa nearly choked on the word and pressed into her lover a little closer. "You left a void so impossibly massive that I had no hope of healing. I was angry because, like you, I didn't want to live in a world where you weren't at my side...except you didn't give me any choice."
Honeymaren guiltily lowered her gaze, only nodding in understanding. She wouldn't try to defend herself – she knew she would feel the exact same way if the situations had been reversed. A cool finger beneath her chin brought her apologetic gaze back to warm and loving crystal pools. "But I forgave you, darling. I forgave you because what you did saved everyone and everything that I cared about and it was the right thing to do. It didn't make it hurt any less, but it made it easier to accept and understand why. I forgave you, Maren, even though you shouldn't have needed it...and they will, too." Honeymaren sighed deeply and looked at the village once more before taking a deep, calming breath and nodding, steeling herself for whatever lay ahead. Elsa smiled at her proudly, placing a quick kiss on her cheek before walking a few steps ahead. "Let me get them all together and warn them so they don't 'freak out', as Anna so poetically describes it." Honeymaren smirked a bit and simply nodded, leaning against a tree out of sight as Elsa walked beyond the forest and into the encampment.
As Elsa walked, the Northuldra greeted her with respectful nods of their heads and welcoming smiles that she returned naturally. She smiled to herself at how at home she felt among the nomads and how much more like home it was going to feel in the coming weeks once life went back to normal. She was pulled from her reverie when she saw one of the two faces she was looking for approaching her near the communal fire. "Your Majesty, it has been nearly a week since we have seen you, we were starting to worry you would not return," came Yelena's low voice, sharp green eyes looking her over carefully before a rare approving smile bloomed on her face, small but clear. "You are looking well, Spirit," she complimented. Elsa smiled warmly and nodded her thanks to the older woman, allowing wrinkled hands to take hers gently. "Thank you, Yelena. I'm sorry to have worried you, but I have important news and it cannot wait. Will you help me gather everyone at the fire?" Yelena raised a curious eyebrow but did not question the fifth spirit, simply nodding in acquiescence. Her strong, commanding tone boomed out across the encampment as she called the Northuldra to the communal fire while Elsa looked for the other face she needed to see, frowning when she realized it was not among those gathering. "Yelena, where is Ryder?" she asked slowly, tearing her gaze from the growing crowd to look at the older woman in askance.
Yelena sighed and gestured across camp to the lavvo she and Honeymaren shared. "Whenever you are not here, he sleeps there to be close to her. First his parents, then his sister. He has lost far too much for a person so young," she said sadly. Elsa's eyes softened and she nodded in agreement. "I know the feeling," she murmured softly, walking toward the lavvo without another word. She peeked through the open flap to find Ryder staring at a small, wooden carving of a reindeer in his hands, no doubt an early work of the noaide's. Elsa stood there and watched the sullen young man sadly, contemplating how best to announce herself to him. "She made this for me after our parents died," he said quietly after a long moment, though he didn't acknowledge Elsa's presence. His fingers slowly traced the outline of the figurine, lost in a memory only he could see. "She told me she had used her powers as the noaide to imbue it with their spirits – that as long as I had this reindeer, they would always be with me." A small, wistfully amused smile tugged at his lips. "Of course, that was before I knew what a noaide was really capable of. Still, even after I was old enough to truly understand her calling, I hoped..." he trailed off as his voice faded, biting his lip to prevent himself from crying.
Elsa felt her heart clench painfully as she entered the dwelling, kneeling down next to him and tucking a short lock of hair that was poking out from beneath his hat behind his ear. "I just-" Ryder's breath hitched. "I just wish I knew she was okay. That she's not in pain anymore. I want to believe that Ahtohallan has given her the afterlife she deserves for all she had done, but..." Elsa smiled softly at him, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Ryder turned to look at her with wide, surprised eyes, a dark blush blooming on his face as he stared at her in bewilderment. Elsa chuckled softly, taking his hand and pulling him to his feet. "I think I can help you with that, brother," she said with a reassuring smile as she led him from the tent and to where the rest of the tribe was gathered, not giving him a chance to speak or question her as she took her place at the head of the crowd next to Yelena.
"I'm sorry I've been gone so long," Elsa spoke as she addressed the Northuldra, never letting go of Ryder's hand. "But I wanted to be the first to tell you. A series of strange events have occurred in the past few days. As you know, Ulrik was sentenced to be executed – a sentence that has been carried out to completion. Ulrik is dead." There was a loud, approving murmur from the gathered nomads punctuated with several vengefully triumphant whoops of approval that did not surprise the queen – she, more than anyone, had wanted to see the man who stole her beloved's breath burn in the fires of hell for all eternity. She held up her hand to silence the tribe, the area instantly growing quiet once again. "But...it was not me, nor Arendelle who delivered not only Ulrik, but his accomplice, the exiled Prince Hans of the Southern Isles to their fates." Another round of murmuring, this one surprised and curious. Even the normally stoic Yelena turned her head to look at the queen, raising a curious eyebrow "It was Ahtohallan herself who brought about the fires of justice on behalf of both Arendelle and the Northuldra, ushering them to their deaths at the hands of a great warrior of her own creation. A savior who has protected not only me, but all of you more times than I could ever ask and in ways I could never repay."
Elsa turned her head to look at Ryder, his sky blue eyes wide with rapt attention as he, like the rest of the Northuldra, hung on her every word. "Be strong now, brother," she said gently to him, squeezing his hand before addressing the tribe once more. "I present to you, the Northuldra, the People of the Sun, the greatest gift Ahtohallan could give," she finished, gesturing beyond the crowd to the tree line Honeymaren was just beginning to emerge from, the fading rays from the sun's light casting her in a warm, ethereal glow as she strode slowly and purposefully into the camp. Gasps and cries of surprise and disbelief filled the open area as she appeared and Honeymaren faltered ever so slightly before she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin higher, Elsa's proud, reassuring smile giving her the strength she needed. Honeymaren stopped when a hand suddenly touched her shoulder gently, followed by another on her arm, and a third on her opposite shoulder. Slowly, the hands of her people reached out to touch her with awed disbelief, many whispering the ancient prayers under their breath as they did. Honeymaren gazed upon her people with wonder, suddenly feeling foolish for her misplaced fear of their wrath for she felt no anger here - she sensed only relief and amazement and love from her people.
She looked up with a bright smile to look at Elsa before her gaze met a different shade of blue. The crowd parted for the queen as Elsa gently tugged her younger brother forward, sky blue eyes staring in disbelief at the scene before him. Honeymaren walked forward slowly, the hands of her people falling away from her as she approached him. Elsa stepped aside, releasing the young man's now cold and clammy hand with a smile. Honeymaren stopped before him and took in the emotions flitting across features that somehow seemed to have aged much more than a month. She gave her brother a small, reassuring smile as he stared at her in uncertain hope, the expression so similar to the one her lover had worn in this situation. "It's okay," she whispered to him, reaching out to place her hand against his chest. The moment she touched it, Ryder's chest began to rise and fall quickly, both sibling's eyes becoming glassy as the young man began to accept the miracle that stood before him. Without a word, Ryder reached out and wrapped his arms around his sister as tightly as he could, nearly lifting her from her feet and burying his face against her shoulder. Honeymaren hugged him back fiercely, murmuring soothing reassurances to him as she did when he was small. The queen surreptitiously wiped the tears from her eyes and was about to move further away when Honeymaren's whispered words reached her ears. "I saw Mother and Father," she murmured to her brother as he shook with silent sobs. "They love you so much, Ryder, and they're so very proud of the man you are becoming."
Elsa frowned slightly as she turned to quietly walk away, giving the siblings some privacy. Honeymaren had never told her anything about that. To be fair, Elsa had never asked, but still – why wouldn't the noaide have shared something so special and wonderful with her? Then again, Elsa had only found out Honeymaren's parents were dead because she had found her lover at their graves. She made a mental note to ask her about it later. Elsa blinked when she nearly ran into Yelena, who was staring up at Elsa with an unreadable expression. Without a word, the older woman took Elsa's hands in hers and bowed low, touching her forehead to them in a sign of deep thanks and respect. "Thank you, Great Spirit," she said quietly. Elsa blinked in confusion, tilting her head in askance. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't-" she began, but was interrupted when Yelena quickly explained. "Your love is the reason she has been blessed by Ahtohallan...and it has saved her life." Elsa sighed softly and shook her head. "My love is the reason she was killed in the first place, Yelena," she said quietly. "Your love is what has given her life meaning, Your Grace," the older woman corrected her before giving her a playfully mischievous smile, looking the queen up and down approvingly. "And, hopefully, the two of you will soon have a family of your own that will bring greater meaning to both of your lives than you could ever imagine." With that, Yelena released Elsa's hands and went to greet her newly returned granddaughter properly, leaving the queen blinking speechlessly after her.
As the sunset faded to night, a large celebration was quickly underway, complete with a roaring bonfire and a delicious feast. It was directly after this feast that saw Honeymaren sitting on a log with the entire tribe gathered around her as she told the story of her time with Ahtohallan and her mission as Revontuli. She told them of how she had awoken to Ahtohallan's calls and learned of her powers. She recounted how she came to remember who she was, as well as how her and Elsa learned the truth about the fire spirit, Tōll, and his battle with Ahtohallan and the other spirits for the life of the planet. As she wove her tale, she painted pictures in the air with her fiery powers and Elsa watched from afar, leaning against a tree beyond the crowd and fiddling with her hands thoughtfully. 'Hopefully, the two of you will soon have a family of your own,' Yelena's words echoed in her mind. Elsa bit her lip and glanced at her lover who was making dramatic, scary faces at the young children at her feet, several of them shrieking in surprise when she let out an angry growl as she mimed the fight between Tōll and the other spirits. The queen couldn't help but notice the delight in her beloved's eyes as she interacted with the children and forced herself to tear her gaze away from the sight, looking back to her nervously fidgeting hands.
It was abundantly clear to the queen that her noaide very much wanted children and, though she wouldn't admit it aloud, especially to Honeymaren, Elsa had always been in love with the idea of having children of her own. The moment her beloved Anna came into the world, Elsa became enamored with her role as a nurturer. As she grew older, her craving for a family of her own only grew exponentially the more she was forced to be alienated from hers, despite her ability to ever have one plummeting the longer she was in isolation. Soon the queen's heart shut the ice-laden door on that dream forever – hope was a futile and dangerous thing for a woman who often couldn't touch a desk without freezing it, never mind a lover or a child. That fear would haunt the queen for the rest of her life, despite what Honeymaren had said on the mountain. And even if she wanted to, she was physically unable to give the noaide the children she so obviously wanted. She sighed softly, looking down at her hands in contemplation. So lost was she in her thoughts, she didn't hear the object of her musings approaching.
"Are you alright, baby?"
Elsa jumped and looked up to see Honeymaren's amused eyes on her, the dark-haired woman's weight cocked to one side and her arms crossed. "You're thinking too hard, Snowflake. I could smell the smoke from over there." Elsa rolled her eyes and flicked her fingers at her lover to send a snowball flying toward her face. She blinked in surprise when Honeymaren caught it with her cat-like reflexes, melting it in her palm with a smug grin that the blonde couldn't help but find incredibly attractive.
"You've got that face again," Honeymaren said with a sexy smirk as she sauntered up to the queen slowly.
Elsa blinked. "What face?" she asked slowly.
"That 'Gods, she's hot when she's being clever', face."
The queen blushed brightly. "This is my normal face," she said, crossing her arms and turning away from her petulantly to hide the pink in her cheeks.
"Exactly." Honeymaren breathed into her ear, suddenly far closer to the blonde than she had been a second ago. Elsa gasped quietly when Honeymaren's fingers dragged across her ribs and taut stomach as she wrapped her arms around her, planting soft kisses along her neck and behind her ear. "B-behave, Pyro," Elsa admonished, even as she subconsciously tilted her head to give her lover more access to her sensitive neck. "This forest has eyes everywhere." Honeymaren chuckled against the queen's pulse point. "Pyro, huh?" Elsa smirked, leaning into her love's comforting embrace. "Would you prefer Sparky?" The dark-haired woman snorted and pulled Elsa close, nuzzling her lovingly. "I don't care what you call me, my queen, so long as you let me call you 'mine'." Elsa sighed softly in contentment at Honeymaren's words, placing her hands over the ones around her waist. "See, that's not fair. I can't reprimand you for being cheeky when you say sweet things like that," she said in a mock pout. "You've put me in a horrible position." Honeymaren smirked and spun the queen around, pressing her up against the smooth bark of the large tree she had been leaning against and pinning her hands above her head as she trailed her lips teasingly against Elsa's. "You've never complained about how I positioned you before, Your Majesty," she murmured huskily as she pressed her body against the queen's, grinning when the blonde instantly melted against her. "W-What did I just say you...you...seductress," she hissed quietly. Honeymaren looked at her with eyes full of fake innocence before slowly dragging her lips up the queen's neck. "I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over your heart pounding," she whispered in her ear, causing Elsa's knees to buckle.
"Maren..." the queen growled out in warning, causing Honeymaren to chuckle and release her lover's hands only to wrap her arms around her waist and pull her close, kissing her forehead apologetically. "I know, I know," she said in understanding, nuzzling her lovingly. "You've been quiet all evening," she commented, though there was no accusation in her voice. "I've missed you. Is that pathetic?" she asked with a wry smile. Elsa chuckled quietly, wrapping her arms around Honeymaren's neck and leaning into her with a contented sigh. "Well, if it is then we are perfect for each other," she said with a smile, closing her eyes and reveling in her lover's warm embrace. "But I was thinking that I need to get back to Anna. She's probably worried sick, we haven't even sent word to her since we left for Ahtohallan yesterday." Honeymaren nodded in understanding, pulling back slightly to look at the queen. "I agree. Just let me go say goodbye to Ryder and I'll-"
"You're needed here, Maren."
Honeymaren blinked in surprise, reflexively balking at the idea of being separated from the queen. Elsa hurriedly pressed on before the noaide could argue. "Maren, I'm speaking from personal experience on multiple levels. You cannot leave Ryder so soon after he just got you back. You need to take your time. At least stay the night and spend some time alone with him. If I had tried to go somewhere right after Anna got me back..." Elsa shook her head, unwilling to dwell on the unpleasantness of the memory – the past was in the past. "Elsa..." Honeymaren began, clearly uncomfortable and feeling torn in two directions. Elsa smiled and leaned forward to kiss her softly, smiling to herself when the dark-haired woman pressed in closer to her and allowing her to deepen the kiss. When they finally broke apart, Elsa bit her lip to keep from smiling too broadly. "Okay, maybe you don't need to stay all night..." Honeymaren chuckled and pressed her forehead against Elsa's, twilight flecked eyes gazing into hers uncertainly. "Are you sure, Elsa?" The queen smiled and nodded a little, pressing closer for a moment before placing one last chaste kiss upon her lover's lips and pulling away entirely. "You know where to find me, fire maven," she said over her shoulder, flashing her a playful wink and smile as she called Nokk forth from the nearby stream and mounted him effortlessly. "I love you," Elsa said softly, smiling adoringly at her. Honeymaren smiled back and nodded to Nokk before smirking playfully. "I love you too, Snowflake. Keep your window open, my goddess. I'll be seeing you soon."
Elsa smiled lovingly at her, blowing her a kiss before bidding Nokk to move, the mighty water spirit whickering softly and dashing down the stream. Elsa sighed when the salty breeze of the fjord hit her face, gazing up at the bright, full moon as her companion spirited them across the water. Despite the freedom of the cool breeze around her, the queen could not shake the heavy weight on her heart. She knew she was being unfair by avoiding the subject of starting a family with Honeymaren, but she needed to unravel the truth of her own heart first before she could have the open and honest discussion that her love deserved.
She needed to talk to Anna.
AN:
So tired!
But, Elsa and Honeymaren are finally on the way to their happily ever after...
OR ARE THEY?!
Yes, they are.
(No, they're not.)
YES. *nods head*
(*slowly shakes head*)
...this is what quarantine and 40 hours of computer work a week does to someone.
As always, FEED MY CREATIVE SPARK WITH YOUR REVIEWS!
Love you all and I hope you're staying safe!
-Volchise