Winter's Echo
Chapter Fifty-Three – Longing
"What exactly is your plan once we reach Ahtohallan, Maren?" Elsa asked hesitantly as they made their way down the steps to the fjord, the same path they had taken the last time the pair found themselves on a solemn journey to confront the Mother spirit. "I'm honestly not sure, Snowflake," Maren answered truthfully. "I do know two things. One, there are answers we need that only she can give, seeing as she was the one who gave us the questions in the first place. And two, I will do everything in my power to make sure that you are safe," she finished with a gentle, reassuring squeeze of Elsa's hand. "I know," came the queen's soft reply as she returned the squeeze before leaning forward to place a gentle, grateful kiss upon the fire maven's cheek. With a small smile, she stepped back and took a calming breath, glancing to the water where she knew Nokk had already sensed her presence.
Sure enough, the ancient water spirit's ethereal form began to emerge from the waterline, tossing his head in greeting as he pranced toward his mistress and offered her an affectionate nuzzle. *Mistress,* he greeted lovingly before turning toward Honeymaren and halting in his tracks, his calm and relaxed demeanor tensing as he eyed her almost warily. Both Honeymaren and Elsa blinked at the sudden shift in the water stallion's behavior, the fire maven's brows furrowing slightly in concerned confusion. "Nokk? Is everything alright, my friend?"
*I apologize, I thought I...* he began before shaking his mane slightly. *Are you...feeling well, noaide?* the water spirit asked, his countenance now one of cautious curiosity as he seemed to study the fire maven. Honeymaren blinked once more, glancing at her wife for a moment in confusion before returning her gaze to the water spirit. "Yes...?" she answered hesitantly, tilting her head in question. "Why do you ask?" Nokk dipped his head slightly in apology, relaxing, but only slightly. *I apologize, my friend. I thought I sensed something different in you. Apparently, I was incorrect,* he replied before turning back to Elsa. *You called me, mistress?*
Elsa glanced between fire and water once more before turning her full attention to Nokk again. "Yes, my friend. Maren and I need to go to Ahtohallan right away. The sooner we leave the –"
*Why?*
Elsa blinked, crystalline eyes widening with mild shock at being interrupted. Nokk had never questioned her before, and he had certainly never cut her off. She stared at the mighty spirit for a moment, unsure how to react to his uncharacteristic curtness before realizing neither the stallion's question nor gaze was directed toward her.
"...Why what?" Honeymaren questioned back, mirroring the unmistakable suspicion in the water spirit's tone as twilight-flecked eyes narrowed slightly.
*Why do you need to go to Ahtohallan, noaide?* Nokk clarified more boldly, straightening himself to his full height and seeming more and more the powerful entity of ancient times as the tense seconds ticked on. Unperturbed, Honeymaren took a step forward, careful to keep her sudden rising and uncharacteristic ire in check as she gestured toward Elsa. "Elsa is ill, Nokk, and we can't figure out why," she began, noting how the stallion's gaze flicked toward his mistress immediately before returning to her. "We believe it has something to do with the powers she gave me and are hoping Ahtohallan can help us find answers. Please, Great Spirit, will you take us to see her?"
The mighty spirit's tense posture and strange defiance deflated slightly as concern for his mistress came to the forefront. After a brief moment, Nokk bent one knee in invitation and whickered softly. *Of course,* he answered, bowing his head as well in subservience to the pair. "Thank you, my friend," Elsa said with a grateful stroke of the water stallion's broad neck before mounting him, Honeymaren sidling up behind her and wrapping her arms protectively around the winter spirit's waist as Nokk straightened and began galloping down the fjord without another word.
When they finally reached the shores of Ahtohallan, Nokk quietly knelt to allow his mistress and the fire maven to dismount. "Thank you, Nokk," Honeymaren said with a gentle smile, bowing her head slightly in gratitude to the water spirit. After a brief pause, he returned the gesture before turning to Elsa and nuzzling her hair. *I will remain near if you need me, my mistress,* he said before taking one last appraising glance at Honeymaren and retreating into the lapping waves of the sea, leaving the pair alone once more.
"Did I do something to offend him?" Honeymaren asked cautiously, though she was unable to hide her slight irritation as she gestured toward the water where the stallion had disappeared. "I can't imagine what," Elsa answered with a helpless shrug, just as bewildered by her friend's odd behavior. With one last concerned glance toward the water, Honeymaren took Elsa's hand and began the trek to their destination, pick their way across the icy shores to the mouth of the cavern. "He's been acting strangely since that night we found you on the cliffside. I'm sure he's simply concerned about whatever happened," the queen reasoned. Honeymaren hummed in acceptance, taking one last glance at the water before entering the caverns of Ahtohallan. "Maybe. I suppose I can't blame him. He's not the only one," Honeymaren added, her gaze turning pensive as they walked quietly down the path.
Elsa allowed her love a moment of reflection before pressing a bit closer as they walked, craning her head slightly to try to meet the fire maven's twilight-flecked eyes. "You know," she began in a quiet, encouraging voice. "You didn't divulge many details of what it was you saw in that fire," she said leadingly, pleased to see her wife's gaze meet her own rather than the avoidance she had been expecting. "You explained about feeling like you were witnessing events outside of yourself, but Nokk said he sensed your spirit was fighting something – that he felt another presence with you. What did he mean by that? What were you fighting against, exactly?" she asked, pausing as the path opened into the spacious, floorless cavern she had used icy pedestals to cross upon her first time discovering it. She laid a pale hand on the post of the crystalline bridge that now spanned the gap before turning to face her wife, determined now to have answers of her own before seeking them from the Mother spirit.
Honeymaren sighed softly, crossing her arms across her chest and arranging her thoughts in her head. "I don't know that I would say I was fighting against something, per se," she started hesitantly, chewing her lower lip pensively. At her wife's encouraging nod, the fire maven turned to fully face the blonde. "I was more fighting for something. Specifically...your future," she answered with a helpless shrug, knowing her answer didn't make any sense. Rather than question her, however, Elsa simply stepped into Honeymaren's space and gently laid her hands upon her folded arms. "It's okay," she said gently, a patient smile on her full lips. "Take your time, love. Maybe try starting at the beginning?" she offered.
The fire maven smiled gratefully at her spirit of winter, unfolding her arms to take the queen's hands in her own and running her thumbs along the backs of them gently. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that the painful visions she had seen that night had not yet, nor might they ever come to pass. Elsa was here, safe in front of her and within arm's reach – they were not separated by a storm of hellfire while the woman she loved writhed in pain. "I had sensed something was off for a while," Honeymaren began, twilight-flecked eyes focusing on the pale, slender hands in her own, mesmerized by the differences between them. She had always loved how the porcelain tone of her wife's skin contrasted with her own sun-kissed hands. "I thought by meditating in front of the fire I would find answers, but all I found were more questions – glimpses of a terrible future I couldn't quite see, no matter how hard I tried." Honeymaren took a steadying breath, forcing herself to speak the words into existence – she would not hide anything from her beloved queen again.
A promise was a promise.
"There was fire – so much fire, and none of it mine. This fire was angry and violent...and terrifying," she continued quietly, unable to meet her wife's gaze. "I-I could hear you...you were calling to me. You were in so much pain and I couldn't get to you..." The fire maven closed her eyes tightly against the horrible images that came to the forefront of her mind, opening them only when she felt a strong, reassuring squeeze from the slender hands in her own. Twilight met ice as she finally locked her gaze with Elsa's, finding none of the fear or trepidation she felt. There was nothing to be found but love, encouragement, and the certainty of victory in the queen's crystalline depths, the likes of which Honeymaren was struggling to grasp. With another stabilizing breath, Honeymaren continued.
"When I was still Revontuli, I was able to be there to stop Ulrik because the fire showed me the future. In the fire, I can see the future through the eyes of others – yours, Anna's, even Ulrik's. But this time, I couldn't see past the moment when you collapsed from some horrible pain. No matter where I looked or how hard I fought against the fire, I couldn't change what I was seeing. I...I-I couldn't save you, Elsa," she finished, her throat cracking with barely restrained emotion that finally closed her throat and cut off her poisonous words.
Without a word, Elsa released Honeymaren's hands only to slip one around the fire maven's waist and the other to the back of her neck, guiding her wife's head to nestle into the crook of her neck. The queen shushed her gently, soothingly running her fingers through long, flame-tipped locks and lightly scratching with her nails as she simply held her love close, giving her all the time she needed to gather herself. Elsa felt her wife's breathing even out within a few moments as she succumbed to her ministrations, breathing deeply as the scent of winter soothed the anxiety in her soul.
"I'm right here, my love," Elsa whispered gently against her hair, speaking into existence the truth that Honeymaren was trying to convince herself of. "I'm safe – I'm safe because of you. Whatever is going on, whatever it is you saw, it doesn't matter," she insisted gently before leaning back and cupping Honeymaren's face in her hands, peering deep into twilight-flecked eyes and willing her maven of fire to believe her words. "If this crazy life we have been living has taught me anything, it is that there is nothing, not a single force in this world that can stop us so long as we work together. I believe in you, Maren. More importantly, I believe in us. Do you?"
Honeymaren smiled as she placed her hands over the pale ones cupping her cheeks, a soft chuckle escaping her at the unwavering conviction in her love's voice. "Well, if I didn't before I sure as hell do now after a pep talk like that," she answered warmly, her smile widening upon seeing a spark light up crystalline eyes at her remark. "Have you ever thought about a career in government?" she teased. Elsa scoffed playfully, rolling her eyes at her wife before shaking her head good-naturedly and wrapping her arms around her maven of fire, sinking lovingly into her embrace. "Maybe one day I'll give it a shot," she murmured into her wife's shoulder before snuggling deeper as she let Honeymaren's warmth envelop her. "For now, I'm content to be the noaide's wife."
The noaide in question chuckled but said nothing in return, similarly content to bask in the closeness of the quiet moment. Despite what she had originally imagined, her soul did indeed feel lighter and her confidence stronger after having told Elsa the entirety of her visions. Though her urge to protect her spirit of winter was incredibly strong, the bond they had built was just as strong, if not stronger. Elsa was right – after the things they had been through, including cheating death itself, what could they not accomplish together? Though she had vowed to always do what she could to protect her love, the strength of the Queen of Arendelle could not be denied and was a force to be reckoned with. For what felt like the millionth time, she was once more left in awe of the gorgeous woman in her arms. You would think after all this time I would learn to stop underestimating you, Snowflake, she thought to herself as she pulled the spirit of winter closer to her chest.
"Come," she said aloud a few moments later, reluctantly releasing the queen with a final kiss pressed to her pale forehead. "Let's keep going. The sooner we find her, the sooner we may have answers," she reasoned as she grasped Elsa's hand and began leading them across the icy bridge. The two continued wordlessly down the now familiar labyrinthian caverns before finally coming to the largest of them all, surprised to find it empty.
"Hello?" Elsa called uncertainly, her voice echoing against the icy walls of the massive cavern. The two spirits stepped tentatively into the markedly empty space, glancing about hesitantly. In all their trips to this sacred place, never once had it seemed so desolate, so isolating.
So...cold.
Honeymaren's instincts tingled with a foreign sense akin to foreboding. The feeling of being alone quickly turned into the sensation of being watched, twilight-flecked eyes glancing suspiciously around the cavern. Something deep within her prepared for a conflict Honeymaren didn't understand – a fight she didn't come here wanting, yet somehow found herself itching to start.
Something was wrong.
"Hello?" Elsa called again, unaware of the change in her wife as she hesitantly stepped away from her to explore the emptiness, slender fingers trailing along the walls of ice. "Mother...?"
"I am here, my child," came an ethereal voice, causing both women to spin toward the entrance from which they had come. Rather than the likeness of Elsa's late mother, Iduna, they had become accustomed to seeing, standing before them was a woman the queen had never seen before, despite a familiarity she couldn't quite place. Silvery blonde locks the color of moonlight fell in a wild majesty down the woman's lower back, only a shade darker than the flowing, icy robes that seemed to flutter in an intangible breeze. Eyes as blue as the sea and skin nearly as pale as the ice around her, so like her own yet colder than the ice she wielded.
Honeymaren gasped silently as full, familiar lips called to something deep within the maven of fire, despite being set in a hard, unforgiving line of displeasure.
It was the woman from her visions.
"You dare step foot in this sacred place? You dare to stand in my presence after all you have done?" The woman's icy voice, filled with a venom that bordered on hatred, echoed along the walls of the cavern and snapped both Honeymaren and Elsa out of their surprised trances. Elsa began to cautiously move around the woman back toward Honeymaren when the woman held her arm out to halt the queen's movements. "Stay back, child," the spirit cautioned, never taking her chilly gaze from the fire maven. "I will handle this."
Elsa cringed back slightly in a nearly involuntary way, like a child heeding the words of an angry guardian. She shook her head slightly in an effort to rid herself of the odd feeling, squaring herself to face the being she now recognized to be Ahtohallan. "What are you talking about?" she asked sharply, pointedly continuing her original path to reunite with Honeymaren, even going as far as to place herself slightly between the inexplicably hostile Mother Spirit and her wife. "Why are you talking to her like that? She didn't do anything wrong!" Elsa insisted.
"It is not the noaide who has sinned, and you know nothing of the forces at play here, child. Come away, I say!" Ahtohallan replied sharply and with more force than her avatar had ever heard, the deity's hard gaze flicking anxiously between her and the Northuldran standing silently behind her in what Elsa assumed was either confused shock or instinctive reverence.
Unbeknownst to Elsa as she rallied to her wife's defense against her predecessor, a silent battle had begun to take place within the maven of fire.
The moment Honeymaren laid eyes on the mysterious woman they became unfocused and distant as vision after vision danced before them, each and every one of the beautiful goddess before her. The increasingly heated exchange between the two icy goddesses dulled, drowned out by a roaring of something akin to fire in her ears, but far more ominous than soothing.
Moonlight tresses danced on a sentient breeze as she chased them through a grassy meadow dotted with flowers, vast and open with not even a horizon in sight. She held her close as they watched the heavens from the cliffside, the sky seeming impossibly big. It was a canvas that had yet to be filled, and so like the hope that filled her heart.
The visions quickly shifted, as did the emotions that came with them.
Slender, pale hands that should have been hers to hold instead lovingly tended to nameless mortal children, creating animal puppets of ice for their entertainment as she watched on jealously. A delicate dance of magic and power that was once reserved for her was now a duet with a stallion of water, creating new waterways to provide for those same weaklings who could not fend for themselves. It was an abominable act, defiant of the natural order they had set.
Moonlight fell in a silky curtain and hid the goddess's face from view as she turned away from her in disappointment, unable to meet her gaze any longer. Those eyes she loved so deeply now swam with tears that had once helped create oceans denied her now as she stared sorrowfully back. Why couldn't her love understand that she was right? That she needed to let go of her attachment to these mortals so that the world may return to balance?
Finally, those oceanic eyes turned away from her one last time, full of sorrow and agony as a pale fist struck the ground and the entire world turned white, leaving her with nothing but an unquenchable fire of righteous fury. Like a pool of dark blood in fresh snow or a festering wound marring otherwise flawless skin, she was cast away - a blight upon a world, an eternity, that was stolen from her. She would have her vengeance – and she would begin with the mortals that started it all.
Honeymaren could hear her own groan of agony mixed with the roar of hellfire in her ears as she felt her heart being squeezed painfully inside her chest, the dark voice that had been haunting her dreams clearer and louder and right.
Ours forever, my heart.
We won't let her take her from us.
Not again.
She's mine...finally...mine...
She's MINE!
The Northuldran gasped quietly, greedily taking in a breath as though she had been underwater as Elsa's voice rang clear once more. "No!" Elsa snapped defiantly, stepping even closer to her wife as eyes dancing with twilight flames slowly turned to her before locking on widening ocean blues over the queen's shoulder. Pinks and purples darkened and dulled to deeper reds and oranges the longer their eyes locked as the righteous fury from memories she did not make seeped into her heart like poison.
Honeymaren groaned as a sharp, searing heat lanced through her head. It felt her skull had been pierced by a flaming sword, the scorching blade twisting back and forth. She tried to lift her hands to her throbbing head only to find she could not move. She forced her eyes open, seeing nothing but darkness surrounding her.
No...not see. That didn't feel right.
Yes...feel. That seemed closer. Like her eyes were closed, but she knew she was surrounded by darkness without needing to open them.
Only...there wasn't just darkness, she realized. If she concentrated, she could see what looked like blurry after-images – silhouettes of flames that no longer burned yet continued to dance across the insides of her eyelids.
How did she get here? Wasn't she at Ahtohallan? Where was Elsa?
Elsa.
Suddenly, her vision came back. Or rather, someone's vision came back.
She was in the meadow again. Ahtohallan stood in front of her within an endless field full of tall grass and wildflowers, beckoning to her, enticing her. She felt, more than heard the deep, masculine chuckle of affection rumbling in her chest. "You are feeling quite impish today, aren't you, Habllek?" she asked, though her voice was not her own. Ahtohallan – no – Habllek smiled prettily at her, shrugging her shoulders as slender, pale fingers lightly brushed the tops of the flowers while she continued to back away from her slowly, daring her to give chase. "And you, mu ráhkis, are feeling quite dull," the goddess teased. "Have you finally grown tired of me, I wonder?" she asked in faux concern while she leaned over to delicately smell one of the flowers blooming at the tips of the tall, soft grasses they walked through, pointedly not meeting her lover's fond, adoring gaze and pretending as though she didn't notice her approach. She leaned down to whisper against her porcelain skin, her warm breath tickling the shell of her ear. "Never," her deep voice murmured. "Until the end of time itself, my greatest wish and honor will be for your name to be the last thing I hear...for your breath on my lips to be the last thing I feel," she promised, delicately guiding full lips toward hers with a finger beneath her chin. She could feel the pale goddess's breath upon her lips just before they brushed hers before the woman danced away from her once more. She groaned in faux frustration but was unable to keep up the ruse for long when a delighted yelp escaped Habllek as she gave chase.
ENOUGH! Rang a deep, masculine voice in her head. Honeymaren tried to blink as her world quickly fell into darkness again, the meadow and Habllek disappearing in an instant. Like a breath of fresh air, she suddenly felt like she could think clearly again as she realized what she had just seen.
You're Tōll, aren't you... She stated, rather than asked. It was your memories I have been seeing – your emotions I have been feeling. What are you doing? What's going on? Why can't I move? She questioned with mounting anxiety as she tried and failed to move – her eyes, her lips, her limbs, her fingers - it was as though she had lost all connection to them.
Yes, he answered, pausing for a moment before continuing. You're a meddling little mortal, make no mistake, but I'll give credit where it's due. You're stronger than I thought. Your odd...senses nearly ruined everything I had been working toward, he continued. Luckily, your capacity to feel so deeply also served as the bridge I needed to cross into this plane once again. Your body is mine now, Northuldran, and so is Habllek's avatar.
Where's Elsa? She growled, doing her best to hide her growing feeling of helplessness. What have you done?
She is here with me where she belongs. She is my new beginning, my åppås – the life I deserved that Habllek took from me. But fret not, noaide. She will be in good hands, now that I command yours. In the meantime, be a good little mortal and behave yourself, he sneered, lest I must relive any more of her vicious lies.
Honeymaren felt a sudden void within herself, a quiet so loud it was deafening – Tōll was gone, focusing on other things.
That was a mistake.
Something about Honeymaren's apparent ability to access his memories, specifically of Ahtohallan, who he knew as Habllek, disturbed the demon enough that he felt the need to interrupt her and pull her from the one she had been witnessing. She knew now that's what had happened – once she had surfaced from it, she recognized the strange feeling of watching your life through someone else's eyes. It was exactly the feeling she had experienced when she and Elsa were on their honeymoon.
The thought of Elsa immediately brought Honeymaren's mind back into determined focus – always a dangerous state for anyone who would dare stand between her and her goddess of ice and snow. The noaide took a moment to calm her mind and anxiety before focusing on discovering how to access more memories.
Let's see who you really are, fire demon.
"How dare...I?" the Northuldran spoke finally, her voice low and dangerous and somewhat foreign to the queen's ears as she placed a hand upon Elsa's shoulder, firmly but gently pulling the spirit of winter behind her protective defense. "How dare I?!" She asked again, louder and with a snarl of indignant accusation that bordered on hatred. "So sayeth the power of chaos herself, come down from on high to create disorder and chaos! What was my crime, Great Mother?" She asked mockingly, a darkness within her nearly shivering in glee at the surprise on the goddess's face. "You, who toys with the existence of the mortals you claim to so love! You, who poisons her own avatar and mine with the very thing you hated SO much! You, that returned to your champions their love, the one thing they needed to survive on conditions neither could hope to understand!" The Northuldran's voice shook with rage, growing louder as she continued her righteous tirade. An oppressive fog began to swirl around the massive cavern, seeming to emanate from the fire maven herself as well as the uncomfortably hot breeze that carried it.
"Maren...?!" Elsa called hesitantly, confusion and fear clear in her voice as she moved to place a hand on the noaide's shoulder only to instantly recoil with a sharp gasp at the heat beneath her fingers. "Maren!" she called again, this time with something bordering on panic as Honeymaren ignored her and began to stalk toward the queen's predecessor. "Whatever you have done to this woman, Habllek, you will fix it. Whatever poison you concealed in this body during your meddling, you will banish it and you will do it NOW," she growled in a nearly animalistic voice, a dark promise of unparalleled violence ringing against the cavern walls.
To Elsa's growing fear and confusion, rather than the indignant wrath of an angry deity she expected to be wrought upon her incensed wife, Ahtohallan squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and turned her head away as though she could not bear to look upon Honeymaren, her hands clenched tightly into fists at her side. "So," she began quietly, in a voice filled with sorrow rather than the rage Elsa expected as ocean-blue eyes opened once more to take in the scene before her. "It is as I feared. The noaide has succumbed..."
"ENOUGH!"
Suddenly a sharp, powerful blast of frosty air colder than the poles themselves forced both the noaide and Ahtohallan to steady themselves, lest they be blown over. Only Ahtohallan spared her angry avatar a glance before returning her gaze to the enraged fire maven before her. "I am Queen Elsa of Arendelle, wife to the noaide of the Northuldra, and the fifth spirit," Elsa called, holding herself up to every inch of regal air gifted to her by the Kings of Old she could bring to bear. "You WILL tell me what is going on," she demanded of the two figures before her, one who could not seem to bear to make eye contact with her and the other behaving as though she couldn't hear the queen's words.
Finally, it was Honeymaren who spoke.
"Don't worry," a dark voice whispered from her wife's lips, echoing with the rumble of a raging inferno as Honeymaren's gaze finally locked with hers, two seemingly bottomless caverns of unseeing blackness where twilight flecked does should have been. Elsa gasped, one hand instinctively reaching out in front of her and ready to call her magic to her defense against a force her very soul railed against. The other clenched over her heart as it lurched painfully, as though trying to reach for its other half through the winter spirit's chest, despite the curling of full lips into a small, malevolent smile.
"I won't let her take you away from me, mu ráhkis."
Elsa tried to bite back a small whimper of fear and confusion, her eyes flicking between the demonic gaze of what was clearly some evil entity that had possessed her wife and her predecessor who still would not meet her gaze. She trained her eyes back on the threatening presence before her, her mind racing as she tried desperately to make sense of what was happening. Despite everything, Elsa couldn't shake the sensation that she was somehow familiar with the entity before her, nor could she ignore how her senses screamed how dangerous it was.
"W-who are you?" She asked, hating how the tremble of her voice echoed around the cavern. The queen swallowed thickly before straightening herself once more and forcing more strength and authority into her tone. "What have you done with my wife? Bring her back to me, now!" she commanded, her palm beginning to glow a light blue to emphasize her demand.
"The noaide is gone. There is no one left to separate us, my beautiful åppås – I will make Habllek undo whatever it is she has done to you, however she has...infected you, and then...then, we will finally be together," came the gravelly, wraithlike reply, Honeymaren's human voice barely recognizable in its eerie timbre. When the dark essence smiled at her again with Honeymaren's lips, Elsa felt bile begin to rise in her throat. What was this demon talking about? What did it mean she was gone? Elsa had been speaking with her only moments ago! Why did it keep calling her different names? Suddenly, one distinctive thing stood out to her about all else.
She had heard one of those names before.
Mu ráhkis - she was sure she had heard Honeymaren call her that during the throes of passion on their wedding night. She had prided herself on bringing the fire maven such pleasure as to wrench the rare, foreign tongue from her lips. Finally, a crucial piece of the puzzle fell into place in the blonde's sharp mind – she felt like this dark essence was familiar because it was.
"You...you were in the fire that night, weren't you? When Honeymaren had her visions, Nokk said there was a malevolent spirit trying to take control. It was you, wasn't it?" she accused acidly, unaware of an oceanic gaze snapping toward her as she spoke. The demon before her rolled its eyes, tossing its hands up slightly in annoyance. "That sodden nag would say I was malevolent," it grumbled before chuckling mirthfully to itself. "Well, I did try to kill him – I suppose that sycophant is entitled to his malcontent." It turned to her then, setting her wife's face into a more serious expression. "I think it important to mention, mu ráhkis, that it was not I who started this process," it declared, stepping closer as it did. "I was called to that divination, my queen. The noaide opened the door – I simply stepped through." The demon quirked its lips in smug triumph as its dark gaze dragged up and down the beautiful winter spirit. "Can you blame me for shutting it behind me?"
Elsa clenched her jaw, squeezing her eyes shut for a brief second as though to physically push her quickly rising panic down once more as she stood her ground. There was no time for any of the disgust or terror or dread she felt. While it was true there wasn't a single trace of her beloved fire maven to be found in the devilish smile or soulless gaze of whatever demon had taken root within the woman she loved, she knew one thing to be true above all else.
Honeymaren would never leave her again, metaphorical door be damned.
Just as she opened her mouth to proclaim just that, a new voice ringing through the cavern stopped her.
"Tōll, please. Stop this madness, I beg of you."
All eyes turned to the previously silent goddess, one gaze skeptically questioning and the other in stunned disbelief. Blue pools alighted on Elsa remorsefully before turning toward Honeymaren beseechingly. "Tōll, you know not the pain to which this path will surely lead," she implored, approaching slowly with her hands held out in a placating manner. The demon frowned, turning its head away in contemplation before Ahtohallan's voice spoke once more, this time in a pained whisper. "Please, Tōll," the goddess breathed, unspent tears welling in her azure gaze. "Please...don't do this again. We can find another way!"
Elsa's head was reeling, unable to do anything but stand sentry to the interaction before her as she tried desperately to wrap her mind around what was happening while Tōll turned away from Ahtohallan, as though contemplating her plea. Everything made so much sense now. The odd feeling of familiarity, the fluctuation of color in Honeymaren's eyes, the out-of-body feelings and visions the noaide had described to her - all the pieces wrenched themselves into place at a dizzying speed to create a narrative in her mind. When Ahtohallan had brought Honeymaren back, the goddess said she had done so by using the life force of Tōll's essence - giving it a home within the Northuldran and granting her the ancient spirit's power of fire along with it. Elsa had assumed this made her an avatar of Tōll, as she was of Ahtohallan.
"You that returned to your champions their love, the one thing they needed to survive on conditions neither could hope to understand!"
As Tōll's words echoed in her head, she realized how wrong she had been.
Her mother, Iduna, a Northuldran, had been the one blessed with the gift from Ahtohallan, passing it along to and culminating within Elsa through birth. Honeymaren, however, had become a vessel – a living reliquary for an ancient being with unfathomable power. It was why Ahtohallan had given the ultimatum of giving up her memories or giving up the essence.
The vessel needed to be empty.
Wait...what?
"But I took it away again!" Elsa cried, slightly startling the other two as her cry rang throughout the cavern, ignoring the Honeymaren-esque quirked eyebrow from Tōll. "Great Mother, you said you would find another way, but you already have!" she insisted, bringing her hands to her chest and wringing them together. "We did what you asked – I gave Honeymaren the rest of her memories and siphoned the essence within myself so that she could retain them," she spoke quickly, hesitantly approaching the all-powerful beings before her. "Please," she implored, daring to move closer to the fire demon despite every instinct she had screaming for her to keep her distance. "I can share the burden. I can take on more so both you and Honeymaren can exist. Please," she whispered, aware and uncaring that she was begging at this point as a few frightened tears managed to break through her resolve. "I don't care what happened in the past or if it makes me ill in the future. I...I just want her back. I'll-" Elsa took a deep breath, contemplating her next words for only the briefest of moments before forcing herself to look into the unending darkness where her wife's gentle, loving gaze should have been. "I'll do anything."
The utter silence that followed was deafening in the blonde's ears. She forced herself to hold Tōll's gaze – if ever there was a time for bravery, it was now. Honeymaren's very existence could depend on it.
You are more of a nuisance than I imagined you were capable of being, I will give you that, mortal, Tōll's voice rang through her mind, shutting Honeymaren out of a memory of an argument between the fire demon and the Great Mother concerning the spirits using their powers to advance the survival of her people.
That's all any mortal is to you, isn't it? Honeymaren countered, careful to keep her own neutral guard up. If she was going to devise any sort of plan it was imperative that she kept as much of her own emotion from the fire demon's detection as possible. If these memories were all she had to work with, she needed to be careful to use them wisely – no need for Tōll to know what she had seen beyond those memories he interrupted. I can see why you were so against Ahtohallan – I mean Habllek, doing what she did for us, she offered. Perhaps the ancient spirit would let slip more details if she could engage him in conversation. At the very least, she could try to distract him and allow Elsa and the Great Mother to take some form of action.
You know nothing, he countered with a condescending sneer in his voice. All your kind knows how to do is take more than what is yours and pervert the natural order of the world.
The first fight Elsa and I ever had was over exactly that, she countered, a plan forming in her mind. When she first came to live with my people, I made her swear to me that she would never use her powers to aid us in such a way as to throw off the balance of nature, even if it was to protect us. One day, a pack of wolves attacked several of our people while gathering berries. She broke her promise, she continued in a purposefully quiet and subdued tone, feeling the fire demon's interest pique at her story. We...did not speak for nearly two weeks, she finished, choosing her words carefully. She knew being caught in a lie would end any chance she had at lulling Tōll into a false sense of security.
That is...surprisingly responsible of you, Tōll acquiesced after a moment. Perhaps Habllek knew what she was doing when she created the noaide. It's a pity her avatar did not learn the same lesson, he grumbled. If more mortals had been like you, perhaps- he began, but cut himself off abruptly, his emotions suddenly flaring with righteous fury. No...how could she...?! Tōll hissed, more to himself than Honeymaren before the deafening silence descended upon her again, signaling she was alone once more. The noaide quickly went back to her task with renewed effort, forcing herself to clamp down on her mounting anxiety. She didn't know what had happened to suddenly draw the fire demon's ire, but one thing was clear.
She was running out of time.
Though an altogether different being was in control, Elsa could still read her wife as well as any book in the royal library. The queen saw not the contemplation, sympathy, acceptance, or even amusement that she was steeling herself for in response to her plea. Instead, she watched as the beautiful, heart-shaped jawline she kissed over and over clenched tightly in barely restrained fury. Every muscle in shoulders she had hugged, cried, and slept on tensed and corded as hands capable of so much gentleness and love balled into taut fists begging to unleash destruction.
"You heartless, treacherous witch," the demon sneered in a timbre barely above a whisper yet overflowing with rage. Elsa's eyes widened in fear at the unexpected slight, only to realize it was not directed at her but over her shoulder as Tōll's dark gaze zeroed intensely on eyes of a slightly different shade of blue.
When Elsa next blinked, her wife's hand was around the Great Mother's throat.
"How could you, Habllek?" Tōll continued in an enraged whisper. "When the noaide thought you had poisoned your avatar, I thought it simply another frivolous accusation of one of these worthless, ungrateful beings you love so much," he began, squeezing the throat beneath his fingers as he did. "But it's true, isn't it? You used my essence to return one of your filthy mortals to this plane - as my avatar, no less - only to convince her to willingly poison your own with it? Just to keep me from returning?!" A scornful, near-unhinged laugh bubbled through Tōll's lips as Ahtohallan's pale hands grasped the wrist of the hand around her throat, trying desperately to free herself. Her lips twitched as she tried and failed to speak, oceanic eyes pleading with the endless darkness before her.
With a single, sweeping motion of his other hand, Tōll raised a wall of angry red and black flames between them and Elsa, causing the queen to yelp in surprise and fear as she leaped backward, away from the hellfire. She raised her hands to protect her face from the blistering heat it emitted, straining to see through the now violently rippling air. "Wait! Please, stop!" she cried, watching with horror as he threw Ahtohallan forcefully aside, the deity sliding quickly across the ice and coming to a sudden and painful halt against the cavern wall.
"Your avatar is mine now, Habllek. With her, I will begin my new life – my åppås. I will cleanse what you have tainted. Once we are finally rid of you, we will paint a new dawn – a new eternity – together." Tōll's dark promise mingled with the roar of his hellfire as his fists erupted into demonic flames, growing with each step he took toward Ahtohallan as she slowly rose to her feet, her hair a curtain of moonlight hiding her face from the deity of fire. He slowed briefly as she finally lifted her head to meet his gaze, azure pools filled not with fear or even hatred, but the same sorrow and regret they had held since Tōll had condemned her for her perceived mistreatment of their avatars.
"She will never love you, Tōll," she said ruefully. "She can never be yours. I know you understand why." Tōll sneered as he resumed his stalking, coming to a halt mere inches from Ahtohallan. "She will forget your pet soon enough," he declared confidently. "You are not the only one with influence over memories. Why do you think your chosen champion sought the wisdom of the flames so that I could finally break through the surface of this plane?" He added with a smug, taunting grin.
Ahtohallan held her ground, unyielding to his threatening presence, and simply shook her head, fearlessly holding Tōll's gaze. "The Northuldran was not my champion...but my daughter's. My daughter's noaide will search for her through a thousand worlds and ten thousand lifetimes - and she will wait for her noaide in every single one until she is found." Ocean met ice through the licking flames of hellfire as she continued. "When all is lost...all is found. Her noaide will always find her. Always."
Tears streamed down Elsa's face as she processed what the deity was saying. This was the end. After all that had happened, all she and Honeymaren had endured to be with one another, it was all for naught. She shook her head in defiance, but it was a token effort – something deep inside of her felt the Great Mother's hopelessness keenly. She could not defeat Tōll now that he had fully manifested within Honeymaren. Ahtohallan had nearly obliterated herself from existence to bring him to heel the first time when she had Nokk and Gale and the Earth Giants to help her. She stood alone now, with only a shadow of her previous power at her command while Tōll remained at full strength. With none of the other spirits having any inkling of what was about to happen, there was little room for hope.
'No...!' She suddenly realized, her head whipping around until she was able to spy the small opening in the cavern wall behind Tōll, the only source of movement besides the occupants in the great hollow.
The water.
"Goodbye, Habllek," Tōll said quietly, the flames in his fists slowly but surely spreading to his arms and shoulders, steadily engulfing his entire body – Honeymaren's body – in hellfire while Elsa screamed a single word in her mind.
'NOKK!'
Without warning, Tōll turned and unleashed a wave of violent red and black flames behind him to meet the small tsunami of water that erupted from the wellspring in the wall of the cavern, the two elements exploding into a vast plume of steam that filled the air.
Like a knight of old cresting the horizon onto the field of battle, Nokk leaped from the water with an ethereal whinny as a battle cry, racing toward his mistress and immediately dousing the flames as he ran. Elsa quickly grasped what she could of his watery mane and clambered atop the powerful stallion as he bolted past, Tōll's infuriated howl seeming to shake the very walls of the cavern, all hints of her noaide gone from his voice. "YOU WILL NOT TAKE HER FROM ME!" He roared, raising his hand to loose a volley of hellfire at the water spirit.
*Faster, Nokk! Please, faster!* Elsa begged as blast after blast of demonic fire licked at the water spirit's hooves as he ran, though he was able to do little more than evade as his mistress frantically tried to come up with a plan. Even Elsa's brilliant mind couldn't seem to devise a winning strategy, given that attacking obviously wasn't an option. Even if she had a chance to defeat him, she knew she could never truly face Tōll, not like this – not while he possessed Honeymaren. Despite what the fire demon had said, she knew deep in her soul that Honeymaren was still there somehow, and she wouldn't risk hurting her noaide. The only option available was to evade the enraged spirit, but even Nokk could only keep this up for so long – and Tōll's aim was honing ever closer on the stallion.
In an unprecedented maneuver, the powerful mount made a sudden sharp turn that nearly unseated the queen, already pale fingers turning white as she held fast to Nokk with all her strength. In the blink of an eye, the incensed fire demon's howl of rage echoed after them as the watery stallion raced down the icy corridor she and Honeymaren had arrived through. "What are you doing?! We have to go back!" Elsa cried, looking over her shoulder to see Tōll had not given chase. *No, mistress!* Nokk dissented, instead seeming to quicken his pace as he nimbly followed the corridor's twists and turns at breakneck speed. *You must escape! Tōll is a jealous, possessive demon; if he cannot have you, he will not hesitate to kill you. I must get you far away from here!*
As Elsa opened her mouth to argue, a bright light at the end of the tunnel they were traversing gave her pause. They were approaching the chasm, the queen's icy bridge winking in the refracted light as they rapidly drew closer. *Take a deep breath and hang on!* Nokk cried. In the blink of an eye, her watery steed leaped through the mouth of the crevasse...
Completely bypassing the bridge.
Elsa bit back a scream of terror, barely remembering to take a deep breath before rider and mount plunged into the dark abyss, eventually hitting a wall of icy water at the bottom. Darkness consumed the queen, and it was all she could do to shut her eyes tightly and cling to the water spirit with all her might. Her lungs burned for air as Nokk nearly torpedoed through the frigid water for what seemed like an eternity before Elsa sensed light behind her closed eyelids. She forced herself to open them slowly, the saltwater stinging her eyes as it whipped by her. Turning her head, she could make out the outline of Ahtohallan's icy shores, panic rising within her as she realized Nokk was spiriting her in the other direction.
Without a moment's hesitation, Elsa pushed away from Nokk and scrambled for the surface back in the direction from whence they came. The queen gasped at the freezing air greedily as her head broke the surface, spluttering and coughing as she tried to regain her bearings. She barely managed to close her mouth before a tumultuous wave from an unforgiving sea crashed over her head, quickly driving her down once more. *Mistress!* Elsa ignored the water spirit's cry, gathering all her strength and swimming hard toward Ahtohallan.
Toward Honeymaren.
Nokk materialized beneath her, attempting to turn her away from the glacial island once more only for Elsa to push away from him more fiercely than before to continue her fight to shore. She would not leave Honeymaren. Even if there was nothing she could do when faced with such raw power, even if the unthinkable had happened and Honeymaren truly was already gone...
She would never leave her.
*Mistress...* The queen said nothing, pausing only to snatch another breath from the surface before diving back down, attempting to ride what waves she could toward her goal. She had to believe there was hope – otherwise, she was better off just swimming down, for there would be no purpose in surfacing again. After a moment, Nokk appeared beneath her once more. Just as Elsa prepared to kick away again, heedless of his desires, she felt him begin to move with her rather than against her. She wrapped already tired arms around his neck gratefully as he carried her the rest of the way to shore, cautiously clambering up on the icy surface and careful not to dislodge his exhausted mistress as she caught her breath.
"I'm sorry," she panted as she laid against him, taking the briefest of moments to nuzzle against his powerful neck and drawing desperately needed strength and comfort from him. "I won't leave her. Ever," she vowed solemnly, sliding from his back and taking a moment to steady herself. *I never should have brought her here,* Nokk lamented quietly, his head hanging slightly in guilt. *I knew there was something off, I sensed it but...* The stallion tossed his head in agitation, hooves dancing slightly on the icy shore. *It felt so different from him,* he admitted.
"What did you feel, Nokk?" Elsa asked insistently, wringing her hands together. "Please, anything you know might help me bring Honeymaren back!" Nokk paced about her slightly, seeming unable to hold still in his agitation. *I felt the same anger and jealousy as I had when we dispatched him centuries ago, but there was something else...something separate.* The powerful spirit turned his head back toward his mistress, speaking quieter now. *There was love,* he continued. *There was a gentleness, a purity a...a newness that...it didn't make any sense. It felt so much like the noaide, despite an undeniable echo of him within.*
"Nokk," Elsa began hesitantly, worrying her lower lip nervously between her teeth. "Do...do you sense that now?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly. Nokk tilted his head slightly in confusion before he froze, staring intently at his mistress as she stood wringing her hands before him. Slowly, he turned to fully face her, approaching her almost cautiously as he peered intensely at the queen who fought to resist the urge to further fidget beneath the spirit's scrutinizing gaze. If what she thought was right...
*Mistress,* the stallion began, his voice full of disbelieving awe. *It...it was you. It was you who carried the pure essence I sensed. That was why it was so confusing – there were two separate auras,* he confirmed, tilting his head once more. *But how?* Elsa took a deep breath, releasing it in a disbelieving laugh. "You...you said it felt like Maren," she whispered, her hands drifting down to the gentle slope of her toned belly, staring at it in awe. *Yes,* he breathed back in reply as he, too, realized what had happened. Elsa lifted her head to meet Nokk's gaze once more, twin chips of ice filled with determination and hope.
"We have to go back."
Tears streamed down her face, hissing as they quickly turned to steam and evaporated as they rolled down her cheeks. How could Habllek ask her to be any less than what she was? She was the spirit of fire! Part of her job in keeping the balance was to raze the earth with her flames so new, healthier life might prosper. Asking her to hold back her flames was like asking Gale to be still or the stone giants to fly. It was not only against her nature but nearly impossible.
And for what? Because the stupid humans couldn't fend for themselves without Habllek tending to their every need? What made them so important that the elements themselves were expected to bend to their will? Yet she was the selfish one? It was Habllek who didn't understand - didn't understand how unnatural these humans were, how much harm they had already done to the natural order, how much more harm they were inevitably going to do.
With an angry shout, she threw her arm to the side, releasing a massive wave of angry red fire at the trees surrounding her. The flames danced in her eyes as she watched the blaze spread and the forest burn, jaw clenched all the while.
Why wouldn't Habllek listen to her?!
I won't warn you again, came the menacing growl she had been expecting as darkness slammed down all around her once more. For the first time, Honeymaren felt a small shiver of fear at the fire demon's tone. He was furious – dangerously so. It was clear to the noaide that something had happened. The question was...
How much angrier could she make him?
What do you plan on doing about it? Honeymaren asked casually, careful to filter any petulance out of her 'voice'. She wanted to throw him off of his guard and break his concentration so she could take advantage of a misstep, not unhinge him and have him go berserk and possibly hurt Elsa. You're apparently stuck with me as much as I'm stuck with you.
You don't even know what you're looking at, you stupid mortal! Tōll yelled in frustration, completely ignoring Honeymaren's comment. 'Interesting,' she thought. She debated her next words for a moment before coming to a decision.
You can tell me, she offered simply, instantly hearing the indignant scoff she expected in reply. I'm just saying, I understand why you were so angry with Habllek. You were trying to do what you thought was right and not only was she ignoring your warnings, but she was also expecting you to go along with what she wanted, regardless of your feelings. Of course you were hurt, of course you would resent humans – resent her. You had every right and reason to, she finished, waiting for his reply with bated breath.
How would you know anything about what I feel, Tōll murmured in a nearly petulant tone. Honeymaren could sense it for what it was, however – false bravado to mask his pain.
It's how I would feel, she answered simply, almost feeling herself shrug in her mind's eye. The person you loved most in the world was disregarding your opinions, your feelings, your wants and needs. Even if she didn't mean to do that, it would make me feel like she was choosing them over me. That's a hard thing to swallow when you love someone with everything you are.
It no longer matters, Tōll said in a dismissive tone, clearly eager to move away from the subject.
If you say so, but I disagree. You are being painted as a villain, as if you are evil and have been from the start. For what it's worth, despite everything that's happened...I don't think you are evil, Tōll.
Though the fire demon did not reply, Honeymaren could sense that she had his attention.
In my tribe, we believe no one is 'born' evil – awe thought Arendelle trapped us in a mist for four decades and I married her Queen, she began, hoping against hope that something, anything she was saying was getting through to the ancient spirit. No...evil is a weed, Tōll. It grows in cracked stones and crumbling homes and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. You are not evil, Tōll... she finished softly. You were just...deeply, deeply hurt.
...I don't have time for this, the fire demon growled after several moments of contemplative silence. Leave my memories in the past where they belong. This is my final warning.
Honeymaren sighed deeply as she was left alone again. She could feel the webbing cracks in Tōll's calm resolve everywhere, but none strong enough for her to take advantage of yet.
And she couldn't shake the feeling that she was out of time.
"You have wronged me for the last time, Habllek," Tōll growled, every inch of him crawling with unholy flames of deep, bloody reds and dark, light-consuming blacks as he stared down the corridor through which the queen had just been spirited away.
His queen.
He turned slowly to find those beautiful, azure eyes he had once loved so intensely watching him with that same, pitying look swimming in their depths – a fact that only served to infuriate him further. "You have always been the instrument of your own unhappiness, Tōll," she responded quietly with a despondent shake of her head. "I only wish you were able to see it before it was too late...before you put yourself through so much pain."
The fire demon snarled, stalking toward Habllek menacingly. "I was the instrument of my unhappiness?!" he parroted incredulously, slapping his hands to his chest. "I was perfectly happy – we were perfectly happy," he corrected, coming to a stop a mere foot away from the deity of winter, jabbing a finger accusingly at her as he continued. "Until you decided to pander to these worthless mortals! This is all your fault!" The finger he pointed with joined its brothers in a clenched fist, lifted high to deliver a powerful, violent blow – a blow Habllek simply awaited, sorrowful blue pools never leaving the dark depths before her.
The fist in the air trembled for a long moment before suddenly being thrown to the side, a massive volley of fire erupting harmlessly into the empty cavern along with Tōll's roar of frustration. He turned away from Habllek, pacing like a wild animal before turning on her once more in the blink of an eye, his face now mere inches away from hers. "HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE THEM OVER ME?!" he yelled in her face, gesturing wildly. "I loved you, Habllek! I loved you before these humans even crawled from the mud, before their eyes looked to the stars, and their tongues sang their songs! I had loved you for millenniums before they even knew you existed!" he raged, unaware or uncaring of the tears streaming down his face, tracing the apple of high cheekbones before flowing down sun-kissed skin and leaving dark rivers of soot in their wake. Tōll's entire body quaked with rage, the movement only enhanced by the flames that licked across every inch of his borrowed skin. "I loved you..." he said again, his voice now little more than a pained whisper. "I loved you with everything I was...and you still chose them..."
In a gesture neither deity expected to experience again, a pale, slender hand reached out to cup a soot-stained cheek. Tōll froze, dark eyes widening considerably in disbelief at the gentle touch. A flurry of emotions raced across the fire demon's visage, from shock to suspicion to something uncannily close to hope before settling on something he had never dared to dream of receiving again.
Comfort.
Black eyes closed slowly as he leaned into the touch, a flame-engulfed hand reaching up to cover the icy one on his cheek as a pale thumb tenderly brushed away the dark tears they found there. "I didn't choose them, mu ráhkis," Habllek whispered, her own eyes welling with unshed tears at the raw emotion she felt from the spirit she had loved so deeply so long ago. "They needed me – they needed us," she continued, bringing her other hand up to fully hold the fire deity's face in her hands. Tōll squeezed his eyes shut tightly, the rivers of soot falling faster at the tender touch before opening them once more to meet imploring oceanic pools.
Honeymaren frowned in her mind's eye, pausing her search through Tōll's memories for a moment. She held her metaphorical breath for a moment but sensed only the silence she was becoming all too familiar with. Yet...
She could have sworn she felt something...
"Our love was deeper than anything this world has ever known. It will echo throughout its history, throughout time itself for all eternity," she continued, pale thumbs steadily stroking back and forth, heedless of the soot staining her snowy skin as Tōll's own hands cupped hers reverently. "It was not the humans, but your jealousy that poisoned the love we shared so long ago, mu ráhkis. Like any evil, it is something that we must fight with all our strength." Habllek leaned forward and pressed her forehead to Tōll's, both spirits closing their eyes as they savored the sensation. "So let me help you, please," Habllek whispered imploringly before pulling back, her voice gaining strength and conviction as their eyes met once more. "I beg of you, Tōll, end this folly – don't let this same jealousy that destroyed our love destroy another!" she beseeched, staring pleadingly into the dark depths before her. A heartbeat passed in silence.
Then two.
Three.
His dark gaze closed, his borrowed face turned away in denial and refusal as the ocean finally overflowed, salty tears running in thin rivulets down Habllek's pale features.
His choice had been made.
*What is your plan, mistress?* Nokk asked as Elsa brought him to a halt just before the mouth of the corridor, echoes of a conversation too faint to hear bouncing across the ice in an unintelligible murmur. "I don't know yet," she admitted in a whisper as she dismounted. "All I know for certain is that Honeymaren is still in there and I need to find a way to help her regain control," she said as she carefully peeked around the curve of the corridor, trying to gauge where the two powerful essences were in the mammoth, icy cavern. She could still hear faint voices, a wave of relief and confusion washing over the blonde. Relief because a conversation meant both parties were still alive and in well enough health to speak. Confusion because it was a far cry from the violence she and Nokk had barely escaped only minutes earlier.
"Stay here, Nokk," she bid the watery beast quietly as she began to slowly creep forward. *I won't leave you, mistress,* he argued, barely resisting the urge to stomp his hoof defiantly. *If you refuse to run, then I will stand and fight with you.* Elsa offered a small, thankful smile to her friend, returning to him and placing her forehead against his in a silent show of gratitude for his loyalty. "I can't fight her, Nokk," she declared in a soft murmur. "I won't. But I think I might have an idea how to give Honeymaren a chance to fight for herself," she finished, taking a deep breath and pulling back. *How?* Nokk asked, his head tilted slightly in eager curiosity.
"I beg of you, Tōll, end this folly – don't let this same jealousy that destroyed our love destroy another!"
Both Elsa and Nokk froze as Ahtohallan's words rang clearly through the corridor, prompting both spirits to brave being spotted as they moved to the mouth of the giant cavern, only to be equally stunned at the scene they found before them. Ahtohallan was holding Tōll's borrowed face in her hands, the powerful deities looking for all the world like a pair of lovers sharing a tender moment. Though she knew Honeymaren was not in control, Elsa couldn't help the sharp stab of pain through her chest at seeing another woman touching her wife so intimately, so lovingly. The queen quickly forced herself to swallow the alien feeling, ignoring her knee-jerk instincts to intervene and focusing on the new insight this secret discovery provided.
Why was the Great Mother being so tender with the fire demon who had threatened to end the world, as well as all but destroy her and the other spirits?
Why was Tōll even allowing, even welcoming it?
Before she could even begin to paint a narrative, the tender moment had passed as Tōll stepped back, his face still turned away from his icy counterpart. His fists, covered in flames that had been rather calm and tame, now grew and licked more violently as they clenched at the demon's sides. A moment of silence passed between the pair before Ahtohallan's voice sounded once more.
"She will never love you, Tōll. You know this."
"She will," Tōll argued, his voice calmer than Elsa had yet heard it. For some reason, it gave the queen an even deeper sense of dread. "The noaide is strong, I will give credit where it is due – but even she no longer possesses the emotional or mental strength to overpower me. Without the noaide to interfere, your mortal avatar will succumb." He paused for a moment, as though contemplating something before he continued, finally lifting his head to meet Ahtohallan's gaze once more. "I will love her well and fiercely, Habllek, just as I did you," he promised, squaring his shoulders as if in preparation. "But we both know that cannot happen while you still walk this plane. For what it is worth...I truly am sorry that it had to end this way," he finished, his voice ringing with what sounded like true remorse.
Ahtohallan shook her head, a sad smile painted upon her pale features even as Tōll slowly approached her once more, the flames engulfing his body growing more restless as he called forth his power. "You would pick up the broken fragments of her shattered love and ours, glue them together again and tell yourself that this mosaic you are trying to mend is as good as new?" she asked, shaking her head in disappointment. "Then you truly are no longer the Tōll I loved," she said in a voice so soft Elsa could barely hear it, though it paused Tōll in his tracks. She ignored Nokk's frantic voice in her mind calling to her as she slowly crept into the cavern, straining to listen.
"What is broken is broken, mu ráhkis," Ahtohallan continued as she met his gaze once more. "I wish to remember our love as it was at its best than mend the broken pieces that no longer fit and see the cracks of what we could have been for the rest of eternity." The Great Mother took a breath and squared her shoulders, drawing herself to her full height and appearing every inch the breathtakingly powerful goddess she was. "The bridge is crossed, Tōll," she declared with finality and a defiant lift of her chin. "Stand and watch it burn."
"...Mun ráhkistan du, Habllek..." Tōll murmured, bringing his hands together in front of him as he prepared to deliver the final blow to the ancient spirit of ice and snow.
"STOP!" Elsa cried, her desperate shout echoing against the icy walls as she raced forward, Nokk barely managing to restrain himself from charging ahead with her and staying several yards behind, fearful of provoking the manic fire demon. "Please, stop!" Elsa begged as she reached the powerful spirits, placing herself between them without a second thought, her hands held placatingly in front of her. Tōll immediately lowered his own hands and stepped back, the flames in his fists dying back down to a gentle roll – what looked to be an almost instinctual reaction, Elsa couldn't help but note.
The queen panted for breath, though it had little to do with the exertion of her sprint and everything to do with the puzzle that had finally, finally been resolved in her mind. "I understand, now," she breathed, surprising almost everyone when she directed the declaration not to Tōll, but to Ahtohallan.
Almost everyone.
Elsa's predecessor offered a small, sad smile, placing a cool hand upon the equally cool cheek of the young queen, her beloved avatar's tears mingling with the sooty remains of Tōll's and washing them away. The two mavens of ice and snow shared a moment of deep, quiet understanding while Elsa sniffled softly, reaching up to squeeze the Great Mother's hand before releasing it and turning to face Tōll once more. The fire demon furrowed his borrowed eyebrows in confusion, taking a hesitant step back at the open smile on the queen's face, despite the tears that continued to flow from icy pools.
"Everything is going to be alright, now," Elsa promised. "I didn't understand until just now, but I can finally see," she began as passion danced within her, her heart feeling ready to burst forth from the prison of her chest. "When Ahtohallan used your spirit to bring Honeymaren back to life, it was terrifying," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders in a small, helpless gesture. "She was an entirely different person – an extension of you. I thought I had lost her all over again. We both had to endure so much pain to be together again. That was what fire did to my love – what it did to us. To be together, Ahtohallan told us we must both endure indescribable pain and hardship, the likes of which neither of us had ever endured. That was the price and the nature of fire." She paused when Tōll looked away with a pained expression only to blink in surprise when pale fingers ever so gently grasped his chin, guiding his dark gaze back to the queen's.
"But I was wrong." Tōll's eyes widened in surprise – despite their unending depths of obsidian abyss, Elsa could swear she saw a flicker of hope. "Fire is so much more than that – it is life and rebirth and a chance at new beginnings. Yes, it is painful, but all new beginnings are. Fire can transform that pain, the pain of a tormented life, into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to survive, but to harness your pain and your passion so that others may witness the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of the world..." Elsa trailed off with a breathless laugh, shaking her head in disbelief at the utter absurdity of life. "That is the beauty of fire – the beauty of you."
'Elsa...?' Honeymaren looked around the darkness wildly. She heard her. She felt her. She was sure of it this time.
Suddenly, the darkness began to shift and mold before her into murky hints of light, as though she had been asleep and was struggling to open her eyes. She could hear her goddess of ice and snow's voice more clearly, feel cool fingers under her chin. Honeymaren reached out for that feeling with all the strength she had to give.
It was now or never.
Tōll's shoulders rose and fell nearly as rapidly as his hijacked heartbeat, panting from the queen's passionate speech and watching her every movement with laser intensity as his fingers twitched at his sides, desperate to reach out and touch the impassioned beauty before him. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to hold her tight to him, kiss her, love her, protect her until the end of eternity, watching her closely as she stepped back as though to allow room to breathe.
Why did that suddenly seem so hard to do?
"Honeymaren came here in peace," she began again, glancing between each of the powerful, ancient spirits and ensuring she had their full attention before settling on Nokk. "But that did not mean she was not prepared for war," she admitted, vindicating the water spirit's unease about delivering her wife to Ahtohallan before. "She, too, believed my illness was the result of poison; a poison she thought the Great Mother had deceived her into passing on to me." Twin chips of ice fell on Tōll next before continuing. "A thought, I believe, was sown and reaped from your suspicion and discord." Tōll opened his mouth to argue, but the queen was not done yet. "Only, the Great Mother knew better...didn't she?" she asked rhetorically, a small smile on her lips as her eyes flicked toward her silent predecessor, who lowered her gaze slightly. Tōll's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as his gaze bounced back and forth between the two blonde beauties, tensing as he realized he was missing something quite important.
"What do you mean...?" he dared to ask, his voice sounding odd to his ears. It was hesitant, unsure, strained with emotion – even weak. Before he could dwell on it too long, the much-preferred melody of his siren's song arose once more. "Fire is not poison," Elsa declared confidently, as though it was the truest fact she had ever known as she locked eyes with Tōll. "It is life," she corrected before slowly reaching out and grasping a now flameless hand, only to very purposefully guide it to her own abdomen, holding it firmly in place with her own. Obsidian depths grew impossibly large, revealing small twinklings of faint purple and pink stars in their depths.
"The Great Mother told us that we would be giving away a piece of ourselves forever, that only the strength of our love would see us through to the end," Elsa whispered passionately, her heart racing as more and more twilight fireworks began to erupt in what was once an endless abyss. Tōll groaned, his free hand pressing against his forehead as he began to sway slightly. His other hand tried to aid in the task, only to be held fast by the blonde beauty before him. "She said the next Winter Solstice would bring both of us the pain of her deepest sorrows and the love of her greatest joys," she continued, her voice gaining strength along with the now wildly oscillating twilight hues. Tōll's eyes were a chaotic storm of obsidian and starlight, fiery shades of deep pinks and purples pulsing like a breath coaxing an ember into flame. "She meant motherhood, Maren!" she called louder, a guiding beacon of light rising above the groaning darkness to lead her noaide home to her. In the blink of an eye, Elsa reached out and snatched Honeymaren's other hand, holding both captive against the barely-there swell of her lower belly as an unseen battle raged between the two masters of fire. "But I can't do it without you! I need you, Maren! Your child needs you!"
With a mighty roar of effort, Tōll managed to rip his hands away from the queen's womb but the damage had been done. He howled in pain, crying out in a language the queen couldn't understand as he staggered to and fro, eventually falling to one knee near the wellspring of the cavern where Nokk had emerged earlier. Deep groans of struggle slowly ebbed into quieter whimpers of strained effort as the heels of his hands pressed into his eyes.
"It won't be long now..."
The quiet voice ripped Elsa's attention from the scene before her, her gaze snapping toward her predecessor who watched the whimpering form across the cavern with a heartbroken, pitying gaze. Oceanic eyes, welling with unshed tears, met twin chips of ice briefly before turning to Nokk, standing as a silent sentry to the chaos. "Be ready to finish it," she whispered. An ethereal whicker was the mighty water stallion's answer as he stepped closer to the pair, all three watching on in silence as the scene unfolded.
You tricked me, you vile, conniving wench! Tōll screamed within her mind, though the words were broken and stuttered. Whether it was due to the strain of his effort to regain control or evidence of his inability to, Honeymaren neither knew nor cared. She was quickly gaining control – and she would make sure he never had it again.
Yet...
I didn't trick you, Tōll, she reasoned. And neither did they. Every word I said was true, and the same is true for Habllek and Elsa. Yes, I had an opportunity to take control and I did. I am not sorry for it, either. But I am sorry that it had to be done. She paused for a moment before continuing. I meant what I said, Tōll. I don't think you are evil. I don't even think you have a malicious nature. I know how much you dislike humans...but you are more like them than you realize.
I HATE YOU! He screamed, pounding metaphorical fists against the walls of Honeymaren's consciousness. I hate ALL of you! You will never be rid of me; do you hear me noaide?! I will torment you until the end of your days! You will never know peace if it is the last thing I do!
Suddenly, another voice sounded within her head, calm and comforting and familiar.
*I am sorry you have suffered, my friend...but we must end this. You, brave noaide, must end this once and for all,* Nokk's ethereal timbre echoed in her mind.
Honeymaren squeezed her eyes tightly, the weight of the truth he spoke heavy in her heart. She gathered her resolve and her courage, her need to protect her queen of ice and snow driving them both.
Then let us end it.
After a few moments of agony that felt like an eternity to Elsa, new movement made the queen hold her breath. Though they shook violently with the strain of the effort, sun-kissed hands withdrew from a heart-shaped face.
And revealed a turbulent, but predominantly twilight and chocolate gaze.
"Maren...?!" Elsa cried, taking a few hesitant steps forward that quickly turned into an all-out sprint into the noaide's arms. The queen buried her face in her wife's neck, sobbing in relief and joy when she felt trembling but warm and loving arms wrap around her in return. Unable to help herself, the blonde spirit of winter began to laugh breathily between sobs as the chaos and utter pandemonium of recent events overtook her. Taking several breaths to calm herself down, the sniffling queen finally managed to pull back enough to cup Honeymaren's face in her hands, trying to get a good look at her. "Are you okay, baby?" she asked tearfully, thumbs lovingly stroking sun-kissed cheeks as she watched the aftermath of the mighty internal battle swirl in the depths of her noaide's eyes. She frowned worriedly when she saw streaks of black licking across chocolate and twilight hues in violent, powerful pulses. "Maren...?" she called uncertainly, noting how violently her wife was still trembling.
This battle had not yet been won.
"How can I help, baby? Please, tell me what I can do," she implored gently as she lovingly stroked the fire maven's cheeks, rejoicing when her trembling seemed to lessen slightly at the act. She leaned forward to place soft, loving kisses across the entirety of the Northuldran woman's face, murmuring to her encouragingly as she had that night in front of the fire when the entire crisis had begun. "I'm here, my love," she whispered against her eyelashes as she kissed them devotedly. "I'm here."
Honeymaren began to take slow, deep breaths, soaking in the calming sensation of her wife's touch as she fought to maintain control of the frantic fire demon within her, his voice screaming within her mind.
NO! I WON'T GO BACK TO THE DARKNESS! I WON'T BE CAST AWAY AGAIN! SHE IS MINE! SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN MINE! I WON'T GIVE HER UP!
She was never yours to give up, she replied, her voice full of a deep, painful sorrow but also an accepting calm as another, familiar voice quietly whispered to her what must be done to end the struggle once and for all.
*Dive down deep into her sound, where all is lost...and all is found.*
"Nokk..."
"What?" Elsa asked, confusion clear in her voice as she pulled back to gaze at Honeymaren once more. "Nokk? Do you need me to get Nokk?"
And I will make sure you never have her, she promised the fire demon as she secretly whispered back her consent to the water spirit.
*I am ready, Great Spirit...my friend...it ends here.*
Do not speak to me of 'never', mortal, for it is a concept you could never possibly grasp, he raged indignantly. I am Tōll, the ancient spirit of fire! The entirety of your life is but a blink in the timelessness of my existence. You cannot be on guard forever, and I am eternal!
You will fall today, Tōll, she said sadly, ignoring the indignance of the spirit and the mounting terror she could feel beneath it. But I promise, my brother, I will not let you fall alone. You have suffered alone in darkness for too long, but no longer. Be brave.
"Be brave," she whispered aloud through clenched teeth, her voice shaking with the effort to speak. "What?" Elsa asked again, delicate brows furrowed in confusion. "Maren, you're not making any sense..." Honeymaren pressed her forehead against Elsa's, closing her eyes and breathing in her goddess of winter as deeply as she could. "Everything is going to be alright, my love..." Honeymaren whispered before staggering back to her feet and taking several steps away from Elsa. "I love you, Snowflake," she said before turning away to face Nokk and Ahtohallan and opening her arms wide, as though inviting an embrace.
"Now," Ahtohallan ordered quietly. In a flash of movement and with an ethereal whinny that resounded loudly throughout the cavern, Nokk leaped from his place beside Ahtohallan, racing toward Honeymaren. Before Elsa could even breathe, the mighty water stallion barreled directly into the fire maven's chest, pushing her into the wellspring of the cavern and driving the Northuldran deep into the icy ocean below as the queen's scream of terror echoed after them.
FIGHT BACK, YOU FOOL! Tōll screamed in Honeymaren's head as Nokk's hooves in her chest pushed her deeper and deeper into her cold, watery tomb. HE WILL KILL US! KILL YOU!
I know, she replied with calm resolve despite the burning beginning in her lungs. But the war you chose to wage had to be stopped...and I told you I would not let you fall alone. You can relinquish your hold and allow me to return to Elsa, or you can stay...and we will both die. This time, it is your choice how the story ends. The fire demon was silent, whether from disbelief or contemplation, Honeymaren couldn't say. It would be nothing to bring me down with you, but I chose to do this because I believe you are more than your anger. I believe you have a thirst, not for revenge, but for the life you thought you would have. I believe you are better than you have shown, Tōll, and deserve better than what you have endured. But, if we are to fall, let us do it bravely.
To what end? Tōll's voice echoed tentatively in her mind after a long moment. You are going to lose everything you have – your love, your life. What does it matter how you fall?
When the fall is all that's left, it matters a great deal, she replied simply. Tōll seemed to contemplate her answer as the circle of light leading into the cavern above them became fuzzy. Nokk was no longer pushing her down, but instead floating passively nearby. She was grateful he hadn't left her – she didn't want to be alone. She tried to smile to show her gratitude but couldn't tell if she was able to accomplish her goal. It was so hard to focus on anything but the vacillating exchange she could feel taking place within Tōll.
She still loves you, you know, she told him gently, interrupting his internal struggle as he focused on her once more. As a noaide, I can feel the emotions of others. Did you know that? It's a gift we are granted upon birth to help us keep peace and heal the souls around us, she explained as she watched Nokk's mane moving majestically on the current, as though a breeze was blowing through it – it was mesmerizing, really. And much easier to focus on. I could only feel hints and flashes of yours at first, but once you took control, I felt them all – I felt hers too.
...what did you feel? He asked, his voice quiet.
She loves you, Tōll, she replied simply. I know you don't believe it, but she always has. She always will. I could feel it. You said yourself that you are timeless – well, so is she...and so is your love. There are places within her where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses linger, and your whispers echo in her mind. A place where a part of you will forever be a part of her. I know you understand that...because I know you feel the same.
Honeymaren felt herself slipping away. Nokk moved closer, circling her slowly. It wouldn't be long now. She closed her eyes, Elsa's beautiful, pale features coming into focus within her mind's eye. The slight crinkling of gorgeous, icy eyes as she flashed Honeymaren a radiant smile. Elegant, slender fingers brushing back a lock of stray molten white gold from her face and daintily tucking it behind the shell of her ear. She hoped Elsa would forgive her...she really thought...
I can't let go, he admitted quietly after a long moment. It hurts too much...I can't let go of my grief. I...I don't know how...
You don't have to, she assured, hoping to bring comfort to the ancient spirit's last moments in what could quite possibly be her own despite all that had happened. She would not turn away from him now, even here, at the end of all things. She would go to the afterlife having been true to herself – a true noaide. If you think about it, grief is really just...love, she reasoned. It's all the love you want and try to give but can't. All that unspent love that gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, in that hollow ache in your chest. Grief is just...love with no place to go. It's the price we pay to love deeply. A thought came to her hazy, tired mind, then. In my tribe, we believe that only three things really matter in the end: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you, no matter how badly you may have wanted them. Do you know who taught us that?
Who...? His voice was meek now, almost sounding far away. Why should he be far away? He was in her head after all. She was too tired to think about it for too long.
Ahtohallan. I wonder if she was talking about you? she speculated. She wondered if she would ever know.
Tōll was silent for a long time. So long, she assumed the quiet nothingness was all that was left – her final moments. Suddenly, his voice echoed faintly within her mind once more, resigned yet with an unmistakable air of peace.
Mortals don't remember the Old Tongue. Did you know your people have over 800 words to describe the beauty of snow and winter? He asked out of nowhere, his voice resigned and strained with melancholy, as though he were struggling to keep his composure. 800 words? Honeymaren didn't know that. She tried to tell him so, but just couldn't seem to form a response, though it didn't seem like he expected one.
It was my one contribution to your people, he continued, his voice growing weaker as her world grew darker. Will you tell her that for me, noaide? Tell her I tried to love her well. Then...love her better. Love her better than I did, noaide of the Northuldra.
...wait, what?
"Maren?! Maren! That's it, baby, come back! Come back to me!" Elsa called to her, her face directly above hers, her hands holding her face firmly. Honeymaren groaned before lurching to her side, heaving violently as her lungs emptied themselves of freezing seawater. Elsa's hands now alternated between firmly patting her back to help her clear the saltwater and rubbing it soothingly to calm her. She was wracked with a brutal coughing fit as she spluttered to catch a breath devoid of the sea, desperate for air. Like a person on the verge of starvation gorging themselves until they were sick, it felt as though her greedy lungs would never be satisfied.
"Elsa..." she croaked, trying to focus her eyes enough to see her. She felt rather than saw the beautiful queen's face above hers, soaking wet strands of white gold silk falling around them like a curtain and brushing against her cheek as Elsa cradled her. "I'm right here, my love," came her siren voice, clear and strong and safe. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard. "Elsa...I'm s-sorry..." she tried again before she coughed again, more weakly this time.
Spirits, was she so tired...
"Shhhh, don't talk. Just relax. You're going to be okay, baby. You're safe, now. It's over. It's all over. I'm taking you home."
"Home..." she breathed, a small smile twitching at the corner of her lips as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax into her wife's embrace.
In Elsa's arms, she was already there.
AN:
Guess who's back...back again...
Helloooooo friends! You thought I was dead, didn't you?
Well, I'M NOT! (though not for lack of trying).
While I realize posting so sparsely is SUPER horrible, I figured I might gain a teensy tiny bit of favor back by making it a MONSTER CHAPTER.
A few words of the Northern Sami dialect:
Mu ráhkis - My love/dear
Mu ráhkistan du - I love you
åppås - Pure, untouched snow/flawless snowy landscape
Bonus word, Habllek - pure, powdery snow in its rarest, most beautiful form
I hope you enjoy, you all don't hate me, and look forward to the chaos of Elsa and Honeymaren being pregnant!
-Volchise