A/N: Trigger warning for those with anxiety, this chapter may cause some discomfort for you.
The walk from my house to Satori's, then to school was in almost complete, comfortable silence. Satori had my hand in his, like we usually do, because, as he put it, "it's what best friends do!".
Not that I'm complaining. It still felt…nice, being like this. I just wish I had the foresight to wear some fucking pants, or at least some leggings.
I took time to notice Satori's get up. It was clear he had put on some clothes, as there was now a nice white collar peeking out from his neck, under his signature hoodie, as well as the school uniform's blazer now over the hoodie itself. How he didn't get in trouble for it, I would never know.
Once we had reached the front doors, I felt him tug his hand away, but I latched on, surprising myself with the forward action.
What? Why did I…?
Satori said nothing, but looked at me, a little wide eyed, with a small blush showing before returning back to holding hands. We continued our journey through the front doors, down halls filled with teenagers, aged from just barely 14 to older than 19. Loud conversations, hugs, kisses, even full on make out sessions seemed to be happened.
Satori spotted one such event, where a small, petite girl with red hair and freckles was eating face with a much taller, bulkier male with black hair.
Satori looked at me after we passed them and stuck out his tongue in disgust. I reciprocated the gesture, before we both looked at each other and laughed.
We continued our walk to the administrative offices, reaching them before long. Inside were 13 small tables, each with a teacher at them, lined up again the back wall.
Satori and I finally broke our held hands, much to my heart's despair, so we each could collect our new schedules for the year.
Probably gonna end up with no classes with Satori. Alone. Again.
I gave my new schedule a glance over before walking towards Satori.
English first, then Math? Ugh, great. Braindead reading then braindead equations. Just what I need.
"So, what's the damage Satori?" I knew that we wouldn't have many chances to have classes together. Satori was in high level English and Art, while I was in high level History and Science, which only left…
"We have math together!" He said, beaming as he compared our two schedules. I grinned.
Math just got 100 times better.
"Thank god, I wasn't sure if I was gonna be able to survive 2 trash classes in a row." I said, reuniting our two hands back together as I took my schedule back from him.
"Come on, English isn't that bad! It's really fun! So much self-exploration, analysis of deeper meanings and thoughts, and the experience of true masterpieces!" His voice dripped with admiration. It was cute seeing him so… in love with literature.
We continued our walk out of the administration office and towards the English hall, which happened to be both of our first periods, albeit different classes.
"Yeah, yeah, I admit, it's probably just the teacher's fault English sucks so much. But math? That's actual garbage. Like, when am I ever gonna use a parabola in real life? I'm gonna be a history major!" I said. The grin on my face was now a full-blown smile, thanks to Satori.
"Hmm…alright, I agree. Math is icky." He said, sticking his tongue out and grimacing. I giggled.
Adorable.
We finally reached my respective classroom, and I broke our hand holding, waving Satori bye.
"See ya in an hour and a half." I said while entering the classroom.
"See ya Michelle!" He said, face beaming.
I scanned the room before I sat down but saw no other people I knew.
Not like I actually talk to anyone else besides the Literature Club.
Class ended up flying by in a blur, the teacher trying to ease us back into the normal flow of things, but I could care less, spending most of the time on my phone, swiping through posts and stories on various social media. I heard the bell ring, and stood up, going to collect my things, the teacher's last words dying out in my ears as I left alongside other classmates.
I saw Satori also leaving his classroom across the hall, and our eyes met, a smile flashing on his face, and, by proxy, mine as well. I dodged and weaved in between other students, reaching Satori near his classroom.
"Heyyy." He said, the smile on his face not faltering.
"'Supppp." I said. I slithered my hand into his, quick to resume our hand holding.
What is up with me today? I'm not usually this…grabby.
Satori looked at me, a small blush appearing again, but he didn't say anything, but instead, squeezed my hand. I felt a blush now forming on my face.
"L-Let's get to math." Satori stumbled out.
"Y-yeah."
Great. I made things awkward. Like fucking always.
I took the lead this time, guiding us through the winding halls in silence.
"So uhh, Michelle…what's with t-the touchiness today? I feel like people might see us and think that were…y'know…hehe~?" He said, sheepishly. I froze up but kept walking.
"J-Just uhm…really affectionate today." I internally slapped myself.
Affectionate? Are you fucking stupid? That's the best you could come up with?
"O-Oh. Haha. Alright." He said, his voice still flustered, but the laugh sounding genuine.
Seems he bought though, so that's good.
We continued our walk in silence, dodging between students and faculty, arriving at our classroom before long.
"Is this the right one?" I ask, taking a peek at my schedule in my hand.
"Yep! 307!" Satori said, showing me his schedule as well.
I slowly pulled my hand away from his as we walked in, taking seats right next to each other. I scanned the room like I had the previous time. This time, my eyes landed on an all too familiar patch of pink hair in the back corner of the room, nose deep in a manga. Before I had the chance to say anything, however, Satori, very loudly exclaimed.
"NATSURI!" I saw Natsuri's head shoot up from his manga, eyes landing immediately on me and Satori. I gave a sheepish smile and waved him over. His eyes narrowed, a blush appearing on his face along with his typical frown. He got up, grabbing his backpack, and walked over to us. He set it down to my left before walking over to Satori, who was on my right.
Natsuri Yuzawa. He was a head shorter than me, and that was saying something, seeing as how Satori was a head taller than me, and even he wasn't the average male height. He, too, wore the required school uniform, navy blue pants and all. However, despite being just the right size for his body, they were still…baggy.
I felt my heart drop a little.
His mom better be feeding him. Us forcing her to break her drinking habit through coercion, blackmail, and then threats of CPS and neglect charges wasn't for nothing, for fuck's sake.
"Satori, you dunce!" He said, raising the manga above Satori's head.
"Don't! Shout! My! Name! It's 9 in the morning!" Natsuri said, bonking Satori on the top of the head with his manga with each word.
Yeah, that's about the reaction I expected.
"Ow! Oww! OW! OWW!" Satori said, recoiling down from each strike, before grabbing the top of his head. Satori rubbed the top of his head while making puppy eyes at Natsuri.
"That hurt!"
"Yeah, I hope it did! Calling my name out like that, what did you think I was gonna do, baka?" Natsuri said.
I jumped in at this moment, if only for one thing.
"Baka? Seriously Natsuri? Been reading a lot of manga, huh? Maybe a certain broad shouldered, tall, purple haired someone has been over to learn a bit about it?" I said, a shit eating grin plastering itself on my face.
Natsuri's eyes went wide before he started stuttering.
"N-n-no! D-Don't even…w-w-what are you…H-h-he's not…" Natsuri stumbled over his words, a creeping blush settling over the entirety of his face, before growling.
The bell rang, and Natsuri took his seat next to me, huffing. Math passed by even faster than English did, mostly due to the conflicting personalities flanking me. Jokes were had, tempers were flared and subsequently soothed, and stories were shared.
As we exited the class, I checked my schedule.
History. Definitely NOT gonna have that with any of these boys, so it'd probably be best if I broke off now.
"…so what does my mom do? Screeches like a banshee and faints, while Michelle actually tries to put out the growing fire! Gosh, Michelle is more levelheaded than me and my mom combined!" Satori finishes up his story by looking at me and flashing a smile.
"Yeah, thank god you actually learned how to cook. I have no idea if I would be able to actually solve any kitchen messes you make now. Anyways, I've gotta head to history, it's across the building, and I'd like a half decent seat as to not deal with annoying people." I said while waving the two goodbyes.
As I cross the long hallways, my mind wanders over a nicer than usual line of thinking: just how far we've all made it in the past 2 and a half years since founding the Literature Club.
Now, Natsuri and his mom are doing better. Still not the best: she relapses, she yells and screams and fights with him, but for the most part, she tries her best to do right by Natsuri, and Natsuri tries to be reasonable with his expectations of her.
Took her long enough, what with us hanging literal jail time over her head if she didn't. He also still needs to work on his temper.
Yuki and his habits were caught pretty early, thankfully, and the weekly therapy sessions seem to be helping him a lot, even with other issues like his anxiety.
It's weird how obsessed he was over me for a little bit when I first joined, though.
Moniko is definitely trying to learn how to be better at being a good person. It took the threat of disbanding the entire club to make him sober up quickly after we learned what he had been doing to Satori in order to dissuade him from talking to me anymore.
Still will never forgive him for that.
Then, finally, Satori. My precious cinnamon roll of a bestie, who held a self-destructive secret from all of us, even me. It almost took him away from us, but I was able to…
…
Never mind that. He's on medication now, and going to weekly therapy, just like Yuki, and he's doing so much better than those three years ago, and I'm so proud of him.
My precious little roll.
Then there's me. The role of the only girl in the club, the levelheaded, outer view of almost all the problems has caught up with me in the last year and a half.
Ha. The very same demons I rescued Satori from are coming for me now, I guess. Not like I can blame them though. They need a useless pile of shit like me anyways.
Junior year was so much easier for us. The bullshit going on in my mind wasn't nearly as provocative, Satori was doing better, Yuki and Natsuri were doing better, hell, even Moniko was trying to be better.
But now it's senior year, and life is so much…harder. Finals, college, life. They all took a back seat in the rides of our lives for Sophomore and Junior year. We thought only of the present, but now the future is quickly becoming the present, and it scares me more than anything.
I felt the well in my heart start to overflow as the rain clouds moved in.
Sure, I've thought about college, but what happens after that? Moniko goes away to some big university to study computer science, then start a career in it, Yuki and Natsuri have plans for an apartment while they both take on jobs and online classes, even Satori got a grasp on what he wanted to do after he started getting better: a literature degree, then teaching elementary school kids.
Then there's me. College, then…nothing.
I could feel my chest start to swell up internally and uncomfortably, and I bit back the urge to choke up. My throat was closing.
What should I do?
I could feel my breathing start to speed up. Hyperventilating.
Die?
I felt a lump form in my throat, like a brick of lead settled right in my esophagus. My eyes were starting to tear up.
It'd be easier than carrying on, burdening your friends even more than you have already. God, they probably already hate you, no use in-
Not on my first day back. No. No! NO!
I stopped walking, thankfully next to a restroom. I entered a stall and sat down on the lid of the toilet.
I looked at the floor and repeated what I had taught Satori three years ago, right after he had gotten out of the hospital, anxious about returning, seeing everyone, and had a panic attack right in front of me, in the hospital parking lot.
Catch your breathing. CATCH YOUR BREATHING. REMEMBER 4-7-8. REMEMBER IT.
Inhale for one.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Hold for one.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Exhale for one.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Eight.
Repeat.
Repeat.
It's okay. You're okay.
I could feel my breathing start to normalize, my chest slowly decompressing, my throat slowly opening back up. I heard the bell ring but paid no mind to it.
This is the fourth time I've had an anxiety attack. The first was right after I found Satori, the second was right after he was admitted to the psych ward after waking up, and the third was in April, 2 weeks after Satori's birthday when I was really in the throes of my issues.
I let out the final exhalation and shakily stood up from my stall and wiped my eyes clear. I took a second to look in the mirror, my eyes now red, my face even redder. I turned on the faucet and splashed water in my face, and then rubbed my face with my hands. The feeling in my chest finally, fully subsided, and I took a final deep breath, and exhaled.
I walked out of the bathroom, which, thankfully, was right next to my history class. The teacher and I were very familiar with one another and were on good terms.
So when I slinked into class late, and took my seat in the back, I silently thanked her for saying nothing. I took a second to scan the classroom, startled when my eyes landed on Moniko, who was seated right up at the front, head now turned around, staring at me, worried.
He knew I was never the type to be late, so to see me enter several minutes past the bell was probably worrying to him. I flashed him a quick smile and a "we'll talk later" look while I dug through my bag to get my essentials out.
History dragged on, and through some miracle disguised as a physical exercise, I was able to take a seat next to Moniko before the class ended. He flashed me a look of worry before returning to the task at hand.
As class wrapped up, and I was getting ready to leave, I heard the teacher speak.
"Ms. Chosuke, may I talk to you for a moment before you leave?" She said, her eyes betraying her in no ways in terms of her emotions.
"Yes ma'am. What is it you need?" I said, while turning around and walking towards her.
Oh boy, here we go…
"Any reason you were late coming into class, on the first day back, nonetheless?" She said, worry beginning to dot her face.
I felt embarrassment creep onto my face, and I scratched the back of my head.
"Uh…just…uhm…it's that time of the month, and I had thought- " She held up a hand, interrupting my lie.
"Say no more. I completely understand. Just do make sure to…prepare properly for such events. And thank you for your time." She said, her face now portraying a smile instead.
"N-No problem, miss." I said, turning around once again and walking out of the classroom. Moniko flanked the exit, and as soon as I exited, he began to walk alongside me.
"Hey. You alright?" He asked, his face full of worry.
"Yeah. Just girl things." I hated lying to any of my friends, but it felt easier doing it to Moniko.
No. Bad. He's trying to be better. Even Satori has already forgiven him, so I should as well.
Moniko looked at me, before sighing.
"Alright. I'm glad it's just that then." Moniko now a small smile on his face.
I looked over the star boy of our grade. Moniko Sakazume. Every girls', and even some guys', dream. Exceptionally smart, only outdone by Yuki, and exceptionally athletic. Brains and beauty. But after really getting to know him, he's got all the same problems everyone else does, with a few more tacked on: anxiety, feelings of melancholy, shame, and disappointment from expectations unmet. His egotism, bordering on narcissism, his viewpoint of people being only tools for his gain. No one, not even Moniko, was perfect.
And then there's the fact he was obsessed with me for the entirety of sophomore year, to the point of discreetly bullying Satori to get him away from me. It took until the start of this year to start to repair the bridge that he had almost burned to the ground.
"Just…uhm…I'm here if you ever actually have issues to talk about." He said, flashing me a quick smile.
"I'll uh, keep that in mind." I said. I took my schedule out of my hoodie pocket, now a crumbled mess.
"What lunch do you have?" I decided to change the subject, just if to get my mind off of it.
Ha, yeah. Save it for later, I'll be back.
"Uhh…2nd lunch." Moniko said, pulling out a perfectly folded schedule from his blazer pocket.
"Hmm, darn. I have 3rd lunch. Do you know any of others have 3rd?" I was hoping that Satori or Natsuri, maybe even Yuki had lunch with me.
I'd rather not sit alone again.
"I think Yuki may, but then again, I'm not too sure…" Moniko said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Well, in that case, see you in the club Moniko!" I waved, turning down a hallway and away from Moniko. He waved back, but said nothing, that signature smile on his face.
I rechecked my schedule.
Science. Then club time. Thank god.
I hurried along down the hallway, wanting to make it to class before I wander in my thoughts again.
I arrived to the door of the classroom, taking a seat on of the lab tables before scanning the room, just like the previous three, before a voice interrupted me.
"H-Hello, Michelle …" The meek, but baritone voice mumbled straight to my left. I turned suddenly, to see…
Yuki, clad in the very same school uniform all of us had to wear. His, however, barely fit him- stretched almost too far at his shoulders, making the entire outfit look extremely uncomfortable.
Yuki Fukunaga, one of the tallest and smartest people in my grade, standing at 6 foot 5 and rank 1. His long, flowing purple hair was kept up in a large ponytail today, making him look even more authoritative, if it wasn't for the meek, shrunk posture of his body at the moment. To contrast to his large figure, his personality was exceptionally closed off. Shy, skittish, and a social recluse, but still very kind, caring, and understanding for those he truly cared for, he met all the checks for a "gentle giant", even if compliments tended to make him a stumbling, blushing mess.
Quite literally the exact opposite of Natsuri.
"Yuki!" I said, hugging him with a smile on my face.
The hug had the expected result, with his stuttering and stumbling out noises, before reciprocating the hug, albeit very lightly.
I pulled back after a while, and although Yuki was very much embarrassed, I could see the small smile on his face as he looked away.
"H-How have you been, Michelle?" He said.
"I've been doing well, Yuki. How about you?" Yuki and I didn't text as often over text during the break when compared to me and Satori, but the ones we had were the really deep, philosophical ones.
Probably sparked that little anxiety attack, huh? Fucking idiot.
"Very well. My t-therapist has told me that I've made really good progress with our sessions, and that she's even considering to moving our sessions to bi-weekly!" He said. While not as bright as Satori, Yuki's beaming smile still warmed my heart.
"That's amazing Yuki! I'm so proud of you!" I said. I went to turn around and face the front, as class would start soon, but since I made the joke to Natsuri earlier this morning, I've got to mess with Yuki just a little.
Right?
"So, Yuki, I see that Natsuri is slipping back into his typical manga speak, as I call it. Any reason why that might be?" I said. I tried to put on the best quizzical face, but inside I was giggling.
"Hmm, I've no real idea why that might be. Why do you ask?" Yuki said, a curious look on his face.
"Oh I don't know, just that he could possibly be showing a certain broad shouldered, purple haired someone some manga over the break, see if they're interested?" I said, a grin not unlike the one I had this morning gracing my features.
"Hmm…oh. Oh… OH! MICHELLE!" He said. Confusion washed over his face before realization slowly replaced it, right alongside a blush.
"D-do not j-j-joke of those types of things! It's…it's…inappropriate!" He stumbled out, his face now cherry red.
"Oh come on Yuki! You have got to tell me, you've at least TRIED to make a move on Natsuri, right?" I said, a grin still on my face, but my tone more serious than before.
"I…uhm, well I…n-no." He said, looking to the ground.
I learned of Yuki's crush not too long after junior year started, when I caught Yuki staring just a little too much at him while we were on a "required club vacation" to the beach. It was like Yuki was looking at a book of his: total concentration, almost nothing could snap him out of it. It was only after the day when I confronted him about that he broke down, telling me that he was demisexual and demiromantic.
Makes sense. He was interested in me during sophomore year, but didn't act on it, but did end up telling me about it once it had left and was replaced by Natsuri.
"Really!? I know that it's hard trying to confess and all, but trust me when I say this: there's almost no way that Natsuri would say no!" I said. I looked around before finger waving him closer. He got closer, his face full of worry.
"Look, you didn't hear me from this, but Natsuri's sketchbook is full of some pretty raunchy poses of purple haired, broad shouldered, tall men. I think it might be a hint~…" I whispered, wiggling my eyebrows.
Yuki froze up, his face lighting up red like a Christmas tree. His pupils dilated, and his mouth arched into an almost pigeon beak like form. His eyes were completely frozen.
Ahh shit, I broke him.
Yuki suddenly shifted and looked back forward, his eyes still wide and frozen.
"Th-thank you for the information, Michelle." He said.
Science passed by in a blur, and before I knew it, it was lunch time. Yuki and I stood up, but he put his hand on my shoulder before we could make any progress.
"Michelle." He was deathly serious.
"You weren't…j-joking, about the sketchbook, were you?" His eyes had some pleading desperation in them, but his face was still stone cold and resolute.
"Nope! It was a little bit ago that I saw it, actually. Around 3…months…ago?" I said, slowly taking in the look in his eye. It was scarily determined now, like he was reading a book.
"Michelle." Yuki said, now looking at me.
"Thank you for this information. I will find some way to repay you in the future." Then, without another word, he snapped out of it.
"S-so…would you like to sit together at lunch?"
Lunch period and the rest of science flew by in a hurry. As the bell rang, I felt a truly genuine, happy smile rest over my face.
Finally. Club time.
I grabbed Yuki's hand, despite his stammering protests, and dragged him out of the room, excited.
Our room was relocated from last semester, but was still in the same hall, which just happened to be only a floor down instead of across the building.
"H-Hold on, Michelle!" Yuki said, his face red and flustered.
…
Shit, I was getting a little carried away there.
"Alright, alright. But hurry up! It's the first time back and I'm just so excited!" I said, my face beaming.
Despite my hesitancy when Satori first introduced me to the literature club, if only to reconnect and get me out of my shell, I was now thoroughly in love with it. While literature never was and never will be my forte, it was still more fun than sitting at home, playing video games and watching anime all day, and soon grew to be the only reason I enjoyed school at all anymore.
"Okay, okay. I'm ready." He said, the meekness in his voice starting to slowly disappear. We now continued our walk out of the classroom, down the staircase, and into the English hall right below us, where we saw a slight glimmer of coral pink hair enter a classroom at the end of the hallway.
Satori!
I paced down the hall and arrived inside the classroom. Natsuri, Moniko, and Satori were already there, organizing things around and moving desks.
At least, Moniko and Satori were. Natsuri was in the back, back in seating of the chair, legs on top of the desk, sketching something in his sketchbook that was in his lap. I looked closer and spotted a splash of purple before Satori noticed I had entered.
"Michelle!" He said, running towards, arms open.
"Satori!" I said, reciprocating the gesture.
Meh, fuck it. I need this hug after the day I've had.
We embraced each other tightly, lingering for only a fraction of a second too long before we broke.
"How was your day?" He said, smile beaming.
My heart. I think I'm dying. Too sugary sweet and cute.
"It was pretty good." I had stuffed the anxiety attack into the deepest recesses of my mind, and I would rather not spoil Satori's mood.
I heard Yuki enter behind me and give off a little gasp. I turned around saw what he was looking at: Natsuri, who had failed to notice him enter, still sketching away in his sketchbook. This time, the figure was much more fleshed out…
At least, certain aspects were.
I stifled a laugh before turning back to Satori.
"Huh? What are yo-" I put a hand over his mouth before looking over my shoulder, to see Yuki had now taken a seat behind us, his eyes wide and boring a hole into his desk with the realization that I was, in fact, not joking.
I put my face near Satori's ear and whispered.
"Look at Natsuri's sketchbook. From this angle, you can see what he's drawing."
I pulled away, and looked at his face, not bothering to turn around.
I slowly saw realization dawn on him, before his eyes dashed between him and Yuki once, twice, thrice.
Then he looked at me.
"I-Is that…?" He started.
"Yep. Now take your seat, I think Moniko's ready to start." I ushered him into a row of the desks. Moniko saw us seat ourselves and started.
"Okay everyone! Welcome back from your breaks, I do hope you had time to rest and rejuvenate!
"Since today is the first day back in the club, we won't have anything really planned! However, do remember that the Winter Festival is 3 months from today, so we should brainstorm ideas right now as for what we should do!
While we haven't pulled in any new members, we definitely are one of the bigger festival attractions of the year, and since we are all graduating, we should look to recruit new members that could fill our shoes!"
While it wasn't shocking anymore, seeing him swap from Moniko, the person to Moniko, the club president could turn a person's head on a swivel if they weren't expecting it.
Satori was the first to raise his hand, while simultaneously saying "ooh! Ooh! Me first, me first!"
"Yes Satori?" Moniko said.
"How about a huge attraction? We could use the different rooms we're allowed now to make different settings for us while we recite poems! A more dreary and serious atmosphere for Yuki, a more modern and weird setting for you, y'know, stuff like that!"
I blinked. I looked Moniko, who also blinked, his face surprised.
A good idea, right off the bat, and made by Satori?
Moniko regained himself quickly.
"T-That's a great idea, Satori! What do you guys think; Yuki, Natsuri, Michelle?" He said.
"T-That's a wonderful idea…." Yuki said, his baritone voice vibrating outwards, a smile on his face, despite his shrunken composure.
"Sure, seems like a good idea." Natsuri said.
"Sounds like a soundproof idea to me as well." I concluded the vote.
"Alright, so it's settled, rather quickly I might add, as to the activity we shall have for the festival this year!" Moniko said, pointing his finger upwards from hand, the other on his hip, his usual stance while in the "club president" mindset.
"And now that we have that out of the way, you are free to do whatever you please!" Moniko said, before sitting down near Yuki, looking to converse with him, while taking glances over to Natsuri, who was now back to sketching, earbuds in.
"Looks like we weren't the only ones to notice what Natsuri was drawing, hehe~." Satori said to me, giggling like a school girl.
"Apparently not, hehe~." I said, giggling along with him.
The rest of Literature Club hit a nice medium between dragging on and flying by, but today's events were beginning to catch up to me and my minimal sleep, and before I knew it, I was waking up from Satori's shoulder.
Shit, must've fallen asleep. What time is it?
"Okay everyone! That will conclude today's meeting! I will see you in a week!" Moniko announced.
I looked to Satori, who was also asleep, having nodded off while we read a little comic on my phone.
"Sa-awwhh…" I said, yawning before I could get halfway into his name. It seemed to still work though, as he blinked awake and leaned up from slouched sideways position.
"You wann-awwhhhh…wanna walk home?" He said, yawning and rubbing one of his eyes. I felt my heart flutter, like usual.
Still so cute.
"Mhmmm." I hummed out an approval, and got up, grabbing my bag. I looked over to where Natsuri and Yuki were seated, but they were both already gone.
"Wanna grab food on the way home? I'm hungry." Satori said. I looked back to him, and narrowed my eyes.
"May I see your wallet first, Mr. Nishimina?" I said, my face a playfully pouty, angry face.
"Heheh…uhh, I don't know why you would ever want to see my wallet!" He said, sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head.
"Ugh, fineeee…I'll pay for you this time. What do you want?" I said, groaning. Internally however, I really didn't mind.
Anything for him.
"REALLY!? YAY! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" He gasped, before bear hugging me and jumping up and down, shifting us around.
"Satori…too tight…I'm dying…" I let out in choked intervals.
"OH! Heh, sorry. Can we get burgers?" He said, ceasing the energetic gesture.
I arrived home, belly now full of a burger and fries, drink in hand. I eyed the dishes in the sink but shrugged.
Eh, I'll do it later.
No you won't, you lazy piece of garbage.
I walked upstairs and into my room and turned on the PC in the corner of the room while I peeled off layers and replaced a few, before winding up in a pair of sweatpants and a black tank top. I placed my drink on the coaster on my desk, before sliding my headphones on.
Heh, it's gamer time.
Hours had passed. I saw my screen turn a monochrome gray, and frustration leaked out.
"Son of a bitch!" I muttered out loud.
I turned my head away from the game on my screen and to my phone, which was sitting on my desk, the light blinking.
I grabbed my phone, and double tapped the screen, seeing that I had a text from Satori about 15 minutes ago.
From: BFF 19:42
Do you wanna come over for dinner? I cooked a little too much…
I felt my stomach grumble and smiled.
To: BFF 19:59
yeh. i'll be over in a sec, just finishing up a game rq
I hit the send message button and put my phone down to see I had respawned, ready to rejoin the fray.
Within the next 20 minutes, I was in Satori's dining room, sat at the table in front of him, slurping down a few noodles quite loudly.
Mmmm…teriyaki yakisoba, my favorite…
"'anks Shasori." I said, mouth full.
"You're welcome!" He said, before slurping down a sizeable amount himself.
This is…nice. Peaceful. Great even. But it would be even greater if he was your boyfriend, but haha! That's never gonna happen, you fucking loser!
I stopped mid slurp, but quickly continued.
Stupid fucking voice in my head, shut up. I don't need you ruining every single good moment I have.
Ha, sure you do, you idiot. You aren't allowed to be happy anymore, not since you "promised" to be alongside Satori every step of the way. Not since you rej-
I shook my head vigorously, hoping that it would be enough to get the voice out.
"You okay, Michelle?" I looked up to see Satori staring at me, worry on his face.
"You kinda blanked out, started staring at your bowl before just shaking your head."
"Ahh, it's nothing. Just…thinking about what I should do for my festival room!" I said, quickly. I felt a pang of guilt in my heart as the lie came out, but I can't have him worrying about me.
He doesn't deserve to carry my burden. I'm nothing but one of those anyways.
He stared for a few more seconds, worry still on his face, before looking back down.
"Uhm…Michelle, you can…tell me, if anything is wrong…okay?" He said, looking back up. His face was really worried now.
I felt my heart begin to tear a little as I looked at him.
Yeah, I wish I could tell you too. But…I can't. No one deserves this burden but me.
"Thanks, Satori. I'm just… a little stressed out, is all. We're graduating soon, and it's…scary." I felt a bit better by saying this instead of just straight out lying to his face.
"Yeah, it is pretty scary. But we're gonna be together through it! Remember that! Just because Moniko is moving away for a little bit and Yuki and Natsuri are getting an apartment together doesn't mean it's all over after high school! We're the literature club, and we'll stay the literature club! We'll even be going to the same college, so we're bound to have some classes we can line up together!" He said, the worry becoming a reassuring smile, one that cleared the rainclouds beginning to form over my brain.
Always him. Always him that clears up the weather in my noggin quickly.
My vision got blurry, a wetness rolling down my cheek.
"Yeah. We're always gonna be together." I said, my voice cracking a little.
By this point, Satori was already next to me, and I felt his arms surround me in a hug.
"Mmhmm. Forever and always." He said, his face nuzzled into my shoulder.
I felt my body start to wrack with a sob. Satori said nothing but held me closer to his chest.
"Always."
Sleep didn't come easy for me, between the anxiety attack from this morning to the breakdown at Satori's only 2 hours ago, but eventually, through just simple persistency and Satori's warm body next to me, I felt the pull of exhaustion in my mind, and I drifted off.
…
…
…
…
…
"Satori? Wake up, dummy…"