I'm aware that the timing of this fix makes absolutely no sense.

The idea is that they both started working for MI6 at 14, met at 16, parted ways after 3 years of working together, had 3 years of being separate and now somehow they are 19. They should be 21. I think I should just age them up. Let's do that.

Insomnia

"You wanna talk about it?" Alex looked up from his phone to see Sabina stood at the kitchen door, already made up for the day, ready to go to work. She wore a brown suit with her hair held back in a claw clip; her rather austere, headteacher-like style for work always amused him. It was the opposite of how he knew her; she was so fun loving and bright, the complete opposite to how he felt sometimes. It was always going to be a good night when he watched her hair fall in brown shimmering waves down to her hips when she removed her hair clip. He would go weak at the knees when she would turn to him, catch him looking at her and smile knowing exactly what she was doing.

"No glasses today?" He asked as she walked past him, grabbed a piece of his toast and threw her bag inelegantly on the kitchen island.

"So no," she said through a mouthful of toast, "we're not going to talk about it." She sighed.

"It's nothing," he said and shook his head, "you look nice today." Sabina was not in the mood to be ignored; not after everything they had been through. She stood opposite him and folded her arms, she did not flinch.

"Don't do that."

"It's nothing!"

"It's her, isn't it?" Sabina's pretty face wanted to grimace or scowl or cry or something, Alex couldn't tell because she stopped herself; instead, she pursed her lips together and suppressed an impatient sigh. He looked up at her sincerely. They had only ever talked about Hera once or twice but it was clear to Sabina the affect the girl had had on Alex Rider. He was like a before and after photograph of what happens to you if you spend time with Hera. "Don't shut me out."

"I'm not-"

"You always are." She sighed exasperatedly, "especially when it comes to talking about MI6. Especially when it comes to her." He shuddered as she said it, "please, help me out." She sat in a high stool next to the kitchen island and waited for him to begin his story. He came to sit opposite her and bit his lip in apprehension; he knew what Sabina needed to hear, he knew she needed reassurance, he knew he should be able to tell her how he felt. But how could he possibly describe why he felt this way without telling her even the darkest secrets about his past? They both knew where it started, it started with-

"Hera-" Sabina looked away as he said her name, "when we were together?"

"Together?"

"On missions…together." He answered her suspicious look, "we were friends. Best friends. And for once, I wasn't alone." He avoided Sabina's eye as he spoke for he knew what she thought of Hera already, but he had to tell someone, it was tearing him to pieces.

"Did you love her?" Sabina asked in a voice that Alex knew was demanding the answer she wanted and not the one he was going to give.

"I don't know." He said seriously and finally looked at her, "I've never known…because, she was so different to me." Sabina reached across the table and Alex thought she was going to hold his hand but she seemed to change her mind and went for a glass of water instead. "You know before I left I screamed awful things at her." Sabina looked at him suddenly for his voice had become harsher than she had ever heard it, almost bitter with remorse. "Awful things." His voice was shaking along with his hands which he clenched together in front of him. "You know why?" he didn't wait for an answer, "because she enjoyed it." He spat out the last two words and shook his head, "she said," he still couldn't bring himself to say it for he didn't want to believe it, "killing someone was fine, if it was for the benefit of so many people." He rubbed his eyes, "how could someone so kind and caring and beautiful, think that murdering is fine? I've had to live with what I did!" He almost shouted and Sabina jumped, "I had to go on feeling guilty about the death's I caused, feeling guilty for leaving her and for not even attempting to get her to change her mind-"

"You mean she stayed on with MI6?" Sabina asked timidly for she wasn't sure how he'd react anymore. He nodded.

"I could've saved her from herself." He rubbed the back of his neck, "but I didn't. I didn't try to take her with me, I didn't try to dissuade her. I left her."

"I don't believe you." He looked up to her for the first time since the start of their conversation and saw Sabina was not angry but concerned for him.

"What?"

"You loved her." She said bluntly, "but you didn't save her for selfish reasons." Alex was dumbfounded as to how Sabina could have reached such a conclusion. "You didn't save her because you wanted to be with her afterwards. But that meant she was a constant reminder of that life you wanted to forget. Sure, you'd both forget it together but to know she still wanted it, to see it in her eyes…it wouldn't let you forget. So you left her. Just so you wouldn't have to relive the things you'd done." He was going to deny it, but now he couldn't help it, he nodded. He had always found it slightly difficult to keep up with Sabina's analysis of him but he guessed she was right. "But you forgot one thing."

"What?" Alex asked and felt ashamed as he saw her eyes were glazed over with tears.

"You forgot that every time I look at you, I see her." A cold tear fell down Sabina's face, "that every time I'm with you I can feel you want to be somewhere else-"

"I love you!" He assured her and she nodded.

"Yeah, you do," she wiped the tears from her face roughly, "but you left us, me and you," she pointed at him, "to hurt together and she got no pain." Sabina stood up from the table, "that's how much you loved her." Alex shook his head, "I never minded!" She said quickly, "I did wonder though, what it was that was holding you back from saying what was in your head, or even your heart. It was her." She wiped her eyes again quickly, "I have to go to work." Alex sat at the kitchen table, shocked by Sabina's revelations into his own past. It couldn't be true; how could he have loved her when she was a murderer? He didn't love her. He loved Sabina. As usual Alex's head became clouded by memories of that forgotten girl and in an almost daze he followed Sabina to the front door.

She unlocked the door and turned back to him. "I love you."

"I love you," Alex said in the most reassuring tone he could. He pulled Sabina into his arms and looked down to her lovingly, "I love you," he repeated and kissed her head.

"Why do you always wake up at 2 o'clock?" Sabina asked suddenly and Alex shrugged.

"No reason," he lied as she kissed him goodbye and left for work.

-Three years ago-Veince-2.05 AM

Hera stood, dripping wet, in the hotel bathroom. She was shivering and as tears mingled with the raindrops on her skin, she held up her hands to see the fresh, oozing blood of a man, drip and slide its way across her slender fingertips. It was the night of her first assassination.

She hadn't meant to do it but she couldn't let the man live or else such terrible things would happen. But that did not stop her feeling dirty, feeling used and as though a part of her was being shred to pieces. She coughed and it came out more of a sob as she looked to her feet and saw a small pink puddle was forming around her feet. Slowly, the more she thought about it, the quicker her breaths became, the faster the tears flowed and the louder of her sobbing became. But she still stood, in the same spot, in the same pose, like a small child would. Just letting the tears wash it all away.

"Hera!?" She heard his voice shout from her room. She wrapped her arms around herself and began to shiver. "Hera?!" The voice came again and the bathroom door swung open. Alex, still in his suit, looked her up and down before standing to his full height and walking confidently to her. He had spent half an hour drying himself but didn't care as he took her in his arms and put his forehead against hers. As she felt his warmth around her, her sobbing calmed down, her breaths still shuddered but lessened and the tears continued to flow silently. She put her fingers to her lips and bit her nails as though she were a little girl that had done something wrong and Alex looked down to her as she put her head against his chest. "We have to clean you up." He said quietly and Hera nodded. Alex slowly, for he did not want to frighten her, removed his jacket and then undid the zip of her dress. It fell to the floor and she stood, not looking at him but at some place in the distance.

Alex had never seen her bare skin like this before although he had dreamed about it for years now, all those thoughts escaped him. All he wanted was to keep her safe, all he wanted was to take the last few hours back. Why did they come here? Why were their young lives worth such heartache and misery to the higher ups?

And so began one of the longest nights of their lives as it seemed to take an eternity for Alex to wash the blood from every place it had seeped to. He put her in dry clothes, dried her hair and walked her to the bedroom. Alex had never seen a reaction like this. Never in all his time, even his first killing, which only gave him restless nights, had not been so severe. But Hera's first killing was very different. It was not planned, it was not orchestrated and it was not meant to happen. Hera had killed her father.

Alex lead her to the bed and she sat down. She looked up at him and he knew, from the way her big blue eyes shimmered from tears as he was about to walk away, that she needed him now, more than ever. Hera moved back into the bed and lay down, Alex followed her and when he lay down next to her she turned away from him. Alex followed her position by lying on his side. Neither said anything for nothing needed to be said. This night marked the beginning of many things for the two teenage spies; firstly, there were no longer any distances between them. It was also the start of how they would always sleep; side by side, every mission, every time they were together and in that time, they never touched each other, never held each other. It was also the beginning of their insomnia.

Reviews appreciated!

Should we go to an M rating? What do you all think?