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Picturebook Romance
A Trolls fanfic
By Dreamsinger
Chapter Five
I Wonder
I awoke to the savory smell of pancakes. Poppy must have broken into my bunker yet again to rope me into another one of her crazy plans. She must be in a real hurry if she's cooking me breakfast. Or she thinks it'll keep me from complaining if she sweetens the deal.
I took a deep, appreciative breath. Mmm…chocolate chip and cinnamon. I felt a faint smile grow. Well, maybe I won't complain too much.
I felt hunger stirring in my belly, but I wasn't quite ready to open my eyes yet. I was too relaxed. It felt like I'd slept really well last night, for some reason. In fact, I felt really good today, calm and centered and ready to take part in whatever over-the-top caper Poppy had in mind. Maybe, although I would never admit it, I was even looking forward to it.
Awake enough to be curious, I stretched my arms above my head and yawned. My stomach was sure sore today. All that laughing last night had really-
I froze, my mouth still open.
Last night?
My eyes popped open. Pink walls. Familiar wall décor. I was in Poppy's pod! I'd slept in her bed! And last night Poppy and I had…
Wow. I rolled onto my back, staring up at the dimly colorful hair-dome. So it wasn't a dream. Poppy's in love with me. She's my girl, and I'm her guy.
I could still hardly believe it, but I sure wasn't going to deny it!
Judging by the early morning sun brightening the pod and the soft shhhh of leaves rustling in the light breeze, it was going to be a beautiful day. I just wish we didn't have a festival today. Waiting for our first date is going to be torture. Maybe I could talk Poppy into taking the day off – the other trolls can get along without her for one day, can't they?
Guilt began almost immediately to gnaw at the back of my mind, and I sighed. No, Branch. Duty calls.
Besides, I couldn't disappoint Poppy; she had specifically said that she found my dependability attractive. Funny, really. I would have thought she'd like spontaneity better.
Then again, considering how the last guy she'd liked had betrayed the entire village, I could see why she'd be drawn to someone she felt she could rely on.
She really did take her duty as queen seriously. She was different from the other trolls, in that regard. Poppy was right. We do have that in common, at least.
Well then, speaking of duty, I had a Beadfest to monitor. I made a move to push back the covers and then paused as I noticed something.
My mind wasn't the only thing that was awake.
…Maybe I'll hold off on getting up right now. I could use the time to think, anyway. I lay back and interlocked my fingers behind my head, gazing up at the hair-dome above me as it gradually brightened from pale pink to vibrant magenta.
I was still getting used to the way my body responded whenever I thought about Poppy, well, romantically. I'm probably making too big a deal out of it, but it's not like I've ever done anything like this before. I've never had a girlfriend, or been in a relationship.
During puberty, having reactions like this to attractive trolls, usually females, had upset me at first – anything out of my control always did – but I learned to deal with it. To hide it, or prevent it by deliberately thinking of other things, especially things that angered or scared me.
Still, it happened often enough upon awakening that eventually I figured out a way to relieve the pressure, so to speak, and I even grew to like the feeling. It was one of the few, brief pleasures I allowed myself, in the privacy of my bunker. And as embarrassing as it is to admit it, it's been happening more often ever since I got my colors back.
I was aware that like all animals except bergens, trolls only procreate for a few weeks, twice a year, but that didn't mean that couples in love couldn't be intimate with each another the rest of the year. Or so I've read, anyway.
And what about Poppy? I'd never seen her behave the way she had yesterday. As far as I knew, she'd never shown that kind of interest in any other troll, not even that traitor she'd had such a crush on. But she'd flat-out told me she thought I was handsome, and that she wanted to learn to play bedroom games with me.
This is all happening so fast. Sure, I might have been the one to mention them first, but I hadn't even really meant to. It had just popped out when it suddenly hit me that something that had once seemed to have zero chance of ever happening to me had actually become possible.
In a way, it was like when our friend Bridget realized that happiness for bergens wasn't just some imaginary ideal; it was real, and very much within their grasp if only the bergens could change their mindset on the whole idea. I smiled wryly. I can sympathize with them. After all, despite being surrounded by countless examples of happiness while growing up, I had stubbornly held on to my own pessimistic attitude for twenty years.
I wondered what Poppy thought of the notion that she was in love with the most emotionally compromised troll in the entire village.
I'd known Poppy and I had had a bond between us ever since the bergen incident - a strong bond, an unbreakable bond - but up to that point, I'd thought friendship was what Poppy wanted from me, so I'd vowed to be the best friend ever.
That being said, I'd also hoped that one day she would look at me with the same passion I felt for her, and that although I was by no means in bad shape, it couldn't hurt to get myself in better shape.
Then when Poppy had touched me yesterday, she'd made me react a lot more strongly than I would have guessed, and that, quite frankly, had made me nervous more than anything else. I liked things better when I had some idea of what to expect from people, and yesterday Poppy had definitely changed the game.
Being as kind and pretty and dynamic as she was, I'd assumed that Poppy had probably had some experience with boys. Who wouldn't want to kiss her, after all? But she'd said last night that she'd never had a boyfriend, because as the princess, she'd had to be careful whom she chose. That had surprised me.
She'd also seemed genuinely surprised by her own attraction to me. I honestly find it hard to imagine that she's never wanted to be with another troll before, but apparently, she hasn't. Or more likely, she's never allowed herself to think along those lines. I never realized that being a member of the ruling family could actually limit your life choices.
So if Poppy saw me sprouting right now she'd…honestly, I had no idea how she'd react. Before yesterday, I'd have guessed she might react with embarrassment, or maybe friendly understanding. She's had sleepovers with our male friends, after all - it's probably nothing new to her. Only glitter trolls keep everything inside, after all.
But now, would she be embarrassed or understanding? Or would she be more, well, amorous?
I sighed. No matter how she reacted, it was something I really didn't want to deal with right now. I wanted time to process everything that had happened yesterday. That was part of the reason I'd asked her to wait to kiss me.
When she'd run her hands over my skin, all wet and silky-smooth from the bubble bath, it had surprised me, but it had also felt good. Gentle and soothing at first, but then her hands had strayed to my backside, and I'd started to get excited. Everywhere she stroked left a trail of fire behind. I couldn't think; couldn't focus on anything except her caress and how it made me feel.
It had felt so good that I'd let it go on for longer than I should have, but by then I was so sure she was doing it on purpose. This was it - the sign I'd been waiting for. Finally, after so long, Poppy was letting me know that she wanted to move to the next stage in our relationship, to go from best friends to lovers.
But she didn't speak, and so when I began to sprout I automatically hid my condition from her; a lifetime of caution splashing over me like ice water, damping my earlier heat. Then things got really awkward, as Poppy seemed confused, like she had no idea what she was doing to me.
Then I was mortified that I'd reacted inappropriately to her innocent touch, and I was so close to running away, ready to hide forever in my bunker. Thankfully, Poppy stopped me, and we talked it out. It turned out that she'd been the one sending what had turned out to be some pretty clear signals of her true intentions, even if they were intentions she hadn't consciously realized she'd had until that moment.
But in true Poppy fashion, it hadn't taken her long to roll with it, adapting to the change between us far more easily than I was.
It was a talent of hers, of most trolls', really, something I still struggled with sometimes. Thankfully, now that I had her and my friends to guide me, I was finding it easier to be more open to change, and I loved them for it.
I wondered how my friends would react to the news. Maybe I should ask them for advice on planning my date with Poppy? They'd been closer to her than I had for most of our lives. I wondered if any of them had suspected I was in love with Poppy, or that she was falling for me. I doubted it – she'd sure fooled me.
I chuckled noiselessly. She'd fooled herself, too, apparently, only realizing her feelings for me after having a dream. A dream that, judging by her blush, I absolutely had to hear the details of.
I put a hand over my mouth, covering a bashful smile as a few of my own dreams came back to me. Dreams where I'd thrown caution to the wind and offered myself to her, winning over the love of my life with my golden voice and some really sweet dance moves. My rosy queen was so beautiful, and so full of life that I couldn't help but dream about kisses and sweet-scented soft skin, her long-lashed eyes gazing at me with a playful eagerness that I was happy to oblige. The look that I'd so longed to see on her face.
The same look that she had given me yesterday.
Now if only I could shake off the nerves. I clenched my teeth. I didn't want to make her feel rejected like I had last night, without even realizing it. I knew how bad that felt, and she didn't deserve it. I was sure that any other troll would probably have joined her in bed without a thought, would probably even have gone on to-
Stop it, Branch! Don't even go there. Poppy had once pointed out that I had a tendency to get caught in a downward spiral of negative thoughts, all mixed up with regret, guilt and shame. The trick, she'd said, was to catch it happening and replace the bad thoughts with positive ones. It had taken a while, but I was slowly getting better at it.
You're happy now, remember? And Poppy chose you all on her own, didn't she? Somehow, you've managed to make yourself special to her. Remember that, Branch. Poppy loves you.
Feeling better, I noticed the pod was much brighter now. The sun must be nearly up. I let my gaze travel idly around the room, jerking to a stop as I saw the table across the room. I squeezed my eyes shut, reminded of my thoughts during the night and wondering nervously how Poppy had reacted when she saw the new scrapbook page I'd assembled by the glimmering light of my hair.
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I'd been awakened by a call of nature, only to find myself in a dimly-lit, vaguely familiar room with someone clinging to me, her sweet, sugary scent all around me. The entire previous evening swirled around in my head as I got up, careful not to wake her. I listened to the nightly chorus of forest creatures (one was seriously off-key) as I made my way to the bathroom.
I was sharing Poppy's bed because she'd finally made a move and I'd ended up declaring my love to her again. Only this time, she'd said it back.
Why hadn't I kissed her when she offered? I didn't really know. I hadn't just been playing coy when I'd told her I wanted to save our first kiss for somewhere more romantic (although I'd discovered that I enjoyed it). And I did want time to plan the perfect date, but that wasn't the whole truth. It was more complicated than that.
There was the old fear of letting someone get close, in case I lost them as I'd lost my family, although that wasn't as strong as it used to be. I was no longer a helpless trolling, and the major threat, the bergens, had been fairly well-mitigated by Poppy.
I was also just plain not used to receiving affection from other trolls. Hug Time didn't really count – any troll would hug me if I was in the area when their bracelet went off, whether they cared about me or not. But having the object of my affection actually returning my interest had me panicking on some level. It was all just too much, too fast, stirring up the old desire to escape.
But I wasn't going to give up. I didn't care how nervous I got, if Poppy wanted me, then I would willingly give myself to her for as long as she wanted.
I just hoped she truly did want me. I believed her when she said she loved me, but Poppy, well, she had a tendency to gravitate toward those who needed her. I'd always thought that was why she kept reaching out to me, no matter how often I rejected her. And she was sure right; I had needed her. It had only taken two days in her presence to brighten colors dulled for twenty years. But could being needed be enough for her?
Am I the right person for her? Can I give her whatever she needs, make her happy for the rest of her life?
I bit my lip as another worry I'd been trying to ignore shoved its way to the forefront of my mind. Poppy might think she was in love with me right now, but it might not last. After all, she'd liked Creek, too. Of course, I wasn't planning to do anything that might put the village in danger, but there were probably lots of things that could potentially make her stop loving me.
No. I had to stop thinking negatively. Look at Poppy; she's not worried about us. I should just take my cue from her.
Maybe I should re-read the books on relationships in my personal library at home. Handwritten books, not scrapbooks; words of wisdom passed down through my family for decades, with cool, nerdy titles like Assembling a Successful Relationship.
I also needed some basic supplies. I had a feeling that I was going to be a frequent visitor at Poppy's place from now on.
As I headed back to bed, I realized that my drowsiness had abated. I didn't want to spend another sleepless night lying in bed, ruminating. I need to do something that will take my mind off all this for a while. Then I saw the scrapbooks we had made still there on the table, along with leftover scrapbooking materials.
A way to bond with others.
I decided to make one last page.
When I was through, I left the page where she would be sure to see it, wondering how she would respond to its subtle question. Testing the waters to see if this relationship is just temporary…
While I was gone, Poppy had rolled over with her back facing my side of the bed. For just a moment I felt shut out, but then I remembered how upset she'd been when she'd thought I didn't want to cuddle with her, and felt a rush of warmth go through me. Suddenly I wanted to wrap myself around her, holding her close with my arms and my legs and my hair, but I also didn't want to wake her. As an insomniac, I knew how important sleep was. But it made me feel good to know that if I did, she would welcome my touch.
I carefully lay down, turning onto my side so I could gaze at her while I waited to feel sleepy again. It might be sooner than I was used to; judging by how quickly I'd fallen asleep earlier this evening, cuddling seemed to agree with me. Even just listening to her peaceful, deep breathing was relaxing. I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept so close to someone, if I didn't count the night of our journey to rescue our friends, which had not in the least been relaxing.
But things felt different to me now, on some deep, fundamental level. Although episodes of nightmares and insomnia had become less frequent since I regained my true colors, they weren't completely gone. I wondered how sharing a bed with Poppy would affect them.
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I never noticed when I drifted off, but as I lay there with a clear mind after what felt like a good night's sleep behind me, I mulled over my nocturnal contemplations.
I knew I had one more reason for holding back.
Besides wanting some time to get used to the idea myself, I wanted Poppy to have time to change her mind before we got in too deep. I might have been inexperienced with relationships, but I knew enough to understand that Poppy's feelings for me might still change. It was far too late for me, of course; I was hair-over-heels in love with her and had been for a long time.
Think optimistically. Poppy noticed me. Poppy chose me. Poppy loves me. I finally had the chance I'd always wanted, the chance to truly show her how I felt about her, to be the romantic and shower her with my love.
Poppy wants me.
Wow.
I let myself drift for a minute just to take in the wonder of it all, until the analytical part of my mind resurfaced.
Although, even assuming Poppy's interest in me doesn't wane after she's really gotten to know me, and that she doesn't fall in love with someone else, and that she really is serious about us becoming a committed couple, I still wasn't sure we should just leap straight into a physical relationship. If that's what she had in mind last night, with her sudden interest in wanting to kiss me.
Not that I was complaining about that, but considering how easily Poppy seemed to accept the idea of us dating, she might not have stopped with just kissing. I didn't know what she wanted; maybe she didn't either. She'd told me she's never dated before, so this was new ground for both of us. That meant that someone had to be the sensible one, the one who considered the consequences. Didn't it?
Or is this one of those situations where you're supposed to trust in each other and take a leap of faith? Argh, what do I do? I wish I had my books with me...
I twisted my hands in my hair, suppressing a groan so Poppy wouldn't realize I was awake yet. I really need to talk to someone. I'm not sure how helpful our friends will be; none of them are in relationships, either. I sighed. Maybe I'll see someone at the festival today who I feel like I can talk to.
Aaannd this line of thought really isn't helping your current situation, is it? It's only fanning the fire, so to speak. Poppy's probably going to call you any minute, and then what are you going to do?
Reluctantly I shifted mental gears, focusing on the Beadfest and other matters that had been on my agenda for this week, trying to ignore the fact that all of my plans were probably about to change. Possibly for life.
A while later I sat up when I heard the clack of utensils and well-filled dishes on wood. I looked over to see that Poppy had moved everything that had been on the table to the carpet, including my latest work. Her bright hair was so messy it looked like a bramble bush, and I stifled the urge to smirk.
"Good morning, Branch. Did you sleep well?"
"Good morning," I replied. "And yes I did, actually, thanks for asking."
"I see someone had a busy night." Her cheerful tone didn't give me a clue about how she might feel about the future I'd hinted at, but at least she didn't sound upset. Was it possible she hadn't noticed the trollings' colors matched ours?
I studied her face as I got up and headed toward her, saying in a pseudo-amiable tone, "You'd be surprised what pops into your head in the middle of the night. I wanted to follow your example and predict a happy future."
"Well, I can see you're an apt pupil." She grinned at me, and held out her arms. "Come here, you."
My heart thrilled as we wrapped our arms around each other, both enjoying the hug and yet hoping it wouldn't lead to the recurrence of the problem I didn't want to have to deal with right now. The borrowed shorts I wore were made of a lighter type of felt than my own, and of course, I had no underwear on underneath. Yet another thing I needed to retrieve from my bunker.
I almost asked about the scrapbook page, but decided to keep my mouth shut for now. I was enjoying the hug too much to risk making things awkward.
As we parted, Poppy looked at me and giggled.
Her humor was contagious, and I found myself smiling. "What's so funny?"
She looked over my head as she said, "Branch, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you look totally adorable right now."
My eyes turned upward to see a matching bramble bush on my own head. I had the simultaneous urge to blush and grin idiotically at her. It felt oddly good to be sharing an experience with her, even something as mundane as having matching bed-heads.
"Um, thanks," I answered self-consciously. "Uh, so do you."
"Why, thank you, Branch," she said with bashful pleasure, tucking her hands behind her and swinging from side to side. "You're so sweet."
I didn't know what to say to that, so after an awkward pause I asked at random, "So, uh, do you have any coffee?"
"Oh sorry, I don't, Branch. I'm a morning person. I usually only drink it when I need to stay awake to finish up one of my 'crazy plans'." She grinned at me. "But I can go get some if you really need it."
"No, that's all right. I'm not that sleepy."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I slept well," I repeated. "Really well, in fact."
Just then Poppy walked past me and opened the door, filling her pod with brilliant sunlight. With the rising sun behind her she turned to face me, a fairy sprite with a glorious golden corona, this time visible.
I felt my limbs turn to jelly. "Must be the company," I murmured dreamily, so lost in love I hardly knew what I was doing.
Something of what I felt must have shown on my face, and her smile gradually changed into a look I could only describe as yearning. "You know something, Branch?" she said softly. "This is the first time I wish I didn't have to go to a festival."
That was the highest compliment she could give me. "Sorry…but not sorry. You know, I was actually thinking the same thing. I guess great minds think alike." I smiled lovingly at her, and she smiled back. "But I'm actually looking forward to going, believe it or not. I wonder what the other trolls will say when we tell them about us."
An odd look came over Poppy's face. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a frown; the thoughtful kind, anyway. We sat down and began to eat. I made sure to compliment her on the food, which really was delicious; the chocolate-cinnamon pancakes practically melted in my mouth. I felt slightly guilty over letting her cook while I lounged in bed, but I decided I'd do the dishes to make it up to her.
Poppy kept glancing at me as if she wanted to say something, but was unusually silent throughout the meal, making me wonder if she was actually bothered by the page I'd done after all.
You know how things that make perfect sense in the middle of the night seem totally crazy by the light of day?
Or not. Some of my best works – poems, inventions – came about because of 3AM inspiration. But middle-of-the-night inspiration had also resulted in some of my most disturbing works, like the manic carved and painted warnings about bergens in my front hall, and a lot of dark, tormented artwork, things I'd gotten rid of before I ever let any of my friends see it. Only Poppy had, once, and I remembered the uneasy look on her face as she took it all in.
Maybe I shouldn't have done that page. She probably thought it was strange, or demanding, or something. I mean, we only became a couple last night. What was I thinking?
I finished quickly, long before she did, keeping my mouth full of food as an excuse to avoid talking. When I was done, I washed my plate and everything else I found in the sink, making the occasional lame comment to try to keep up the pretense that everything was fine. Poppy smiled and gave appropriate replies, but I could tell her mind was elsewhere.
Finally she finished chewing and set down her fork. "Branch, can I talk to you?"
With a heavy heart, I dried my hands on a towel and turned to see the serious look on her face. The bottom dropped out of my stomach.
"Oh, no. I knew it. You don't want to be my girlfriend anymore." I turned back to the sink, unable to bear the look of sympathetic rejection that I knew would be on her face. "I knew I shouldn't have done that last page. It creeped you out, didn't it?"
"Branch-"
I tried to recover my ground. "It's just that I thought you'd like it. You're always scrapbooking future plans, aren't you?"
"Branch."
Really panicking now, I asked desperately, "Or was it the trollings? I put too many of them on there, didn't I?"
"Branch!"
Suddenly Poppy was hugging me from behind. I jumped, my hair flaring outward until I recovered control of it. And then we were enveloped in a soft magenta cocoon from shoulders to knees, its gentle pressure calming me as if I'd wrapped myself in my favorite warm blanket.
"Branch," she said softly. "I loved the new page. Especially because you're on the right track; you're looking to the future, with all the hope in your heart. And I definitely don't want to break up with you. I love you."
Gradually I calmed down, my heartbeat steadying, and then picking up speed again for an entirely different reason. Her breath was warm and made my ear and the side of my neck all tingly. I closed my eyes and willingly let go, enjoying every single sensation she made me feel without even knowing it.
"Sorry for freaking out on you."
"Oh, Branch." Her hair loosened a little so her hand could rub my belly. It helped. I forgot about being upset and just focused on her warm hand as it slid gently across the borrowed tank top covering my sore stomach muscles. I relaxed into her, my ears drooping a little as she brought back the nighttime languor that was still near the surface, without coffee to dissolve it.
"And I'm sorry for freaking you out," she murmured. "I keep forgetting that you don't always react like… well…"
"Like a normal troll?" I said evenly.
Her hand stopped moving and I imagined her wincing. I hated to rub her nose in it, but as much as Poppy liked to claim I'd made progress, I doubted my instinctive response to unexpected events would ever change. She had to realize that and accept it, before we both got too deeply involved to be able to break up and still keep our friendship without severely hurting one another. I would rather keep what we had now than spend the rest of our lives avoiding each other or feeling awkward around each other.
"Branch," she said finally. "This is normal, for you."
That was all. No platitudes. No cheerful assertions that someday I'd fit in with everyone else.
A slow smile spread across my face as her acceptance thawed the icy shards of doubt in my heart.
"Thank you."
Author's Note:
Sorry for the abrupt shift to Branch's point of view. I decided there was more going on right now in his head that needed direct narration, as Poppy had already more or less settled things in her mind. We'll see more from her perspective later, though.
I decided to use first-person perspective for Branch, and third-person for Poppy, partly to make it clear who was who, and partly because when I imagine a story told from Branch's point of view, I keep hearing the trailer to the movie with the voiceover that starts: "My name is Branch, and I'm a troll." It just seems natural to have him directly narrate what's going on.
Did you notice how Branch has begun to change? Now that he's in a relationship, he feels the need to connect with other people and ask their advice in addition to consulting his books. It's the start of him truly becoming part of troll society, because he has a need to, rather than just to prove he is "normal" or because he is lonely.
I got seriously stuck for a while. It took me a long time – I'm talking weeks here – to decide what sort of attitude Branch and Poppy will have toward the idea of making love with each other.
Finally, I decided that since what appeals to me most about the trolls' culture are the ideals of tolerance, forgiveness, honesty about one's feelings, encouragement, and positivity, and the general air of innocence and good fellowship in the way the trolls treat each other, that I'd give my best attempt to try to approach Branch and Poppy's physical relationship with the same basic mentality.
That doesn't mean Branch isn't afraid, of course. He's open to the idea because he knows it's what trolls in love do, and thanks to Hug Time, he's had some exposure to physical contact with other trolls. He's also familiar with his own body's reactions up to now, but when Poppy actually touches him, it's still so new it scares him.
Poppy is used to being touched by other trolls, so it's natural for her to take the lead at first. But Branch is smart and curious and will undoubtedly catch up to her before long and become the dreamboat we all know he can be.
Look forward to future chapters, and please let me know if there's something you're interested in seeing addressed, okay?
