There Goes My Life
Chapter Six
...
Bella smiled softly as she watched as Edward run his hands over his suit jacket. She couldn't quite decide if it was more gray or blackish, she tilted her head and took a second look, charcoal she determined.
The suit fit him well, she figured it was custom tailored and probably worth at least three of her paychecks. His tie was a soft tan against his light blue dress shirt. She smirked to herself; she knew he had put a lot of thought into his outfit.
The choice of attire made him look, calm, professional, and trustworthy.
His personal style set him apart in San Francisco, his designer suits, and formal nature went against the casual attire and laid back manner of his peers. "You look great," she said reassuringly as she checked her own appearance. She had selected a conservative green dress and paired it with a navy cardigan and a simple pair of flats that would be ideal for chasing around toddlers.
She caught his eye in the mirror as her curiosity got the best of her, "why do you wear a suit every day?" she asked intrigued, "it's not exactly the norm, back home."
"They remind me who I'm not, anymore. I'm a Cullen. Well educated, cultured, successful. In a way, they keep me focused on who I want to be, not who I was." He revealed. He had spent the last two decades shaping himself into the man he wanted to be. Yet, from time to time, he still saw the scrawny, dirty, thief of a boy he had once been. "Plus, appearances matter."
She turned around to face him. He was rewarded with a smile for his honesty. They both knew the judge's first reaction of them would be based on how they physically presented themselves.
"Unfortunately that's true," she agreed with a firm frown. It wasn't always fair, but it was one of the harsh truths of the world. "How are you feeling?" She asked a touch of worry in her voice.
"I'm fine." He stated a bit stiffly, rubbing a hand over his well-trimmed beard.
She lifted an eyebrow and frowned at him.
He flushed, "truthfully, I think I'm going to be sick," he tugged at his light blue collar, his green eyes were wild. Bella guessed he was on the edge of a panic attack.
"Deep breaths, in, out," she instructed calmly, breathing with him, "No. No puking. If you throw up, you'll have to change," she squeezed his shoulders as he sat on the edge of his bed, and let out a weak chuckle, "There, we've, you've totally got this Edward."
"You think?" He asked quietly, lifting his head up to meet her eyes. Bella breath seized, from time to time, she'd catch a glimpse of his less confident, vulnerable side that made her want to protect him.
She massaged his shoulders gently, stepping out of her professional mindset and into her supportive, best friend role, her brown eyes softened, "completely, you're a pretty great guy, Edward. You may not see it but the judge will if they have any good sense."
His lips twitched, "right."
"Edward, truly. The court, the social workers, they wants this. They want to place children with their relatives. It lessens the strain on the foster care system. You've put together a strong case; they'd be fools not to see that you're more than capable. You've gone above and beyond for them. We spent all day yesterday shopping, we have the car seats, the diaper bags are fully loaded. We have the pull-ups, formula, and two suitcases full of children clothes. You've got this."
She pulled her hands away from his shoulders, "now here's a mint," she pressed the red and white candy into his palm, "it'll calm your stomach."
He unwrapped the peppermint and placed it in his mouth as he followed her down to their SUV. The drive went by much quicker than Edward would have liked. Bella hummed along quietly to the music, leaving him to his thoughts.
He shook hands with Mark Goldberg before they stepped into the small courtroom. A room, he guessed that was used for informal custody cases, adoptions, maybe even divorces. It wasn't nearly as intimidating as the large room down the hall.
Edward swallowed and discreetly wiped his sweaty palms against his slacks. Bella gave him a soft grin, placed his folder on the desk in front of them and quickly organized it. He was surprised to see a series of photos in one stack.
He lifted an eyebrow at her, and she shrugged and gave him a look as if to say, 'thought they might be helpful.' He shook his head slightly in amazed amusement.
Together they rose to their feet and sat back down as instructed, "good morning," the Judge greeted them.
"Good morning, Your Honor," they all spoke in unison.
Edward smiled reflexively at the judge. Her dark hair was starting to gray as if she had recently decided to embrace her age and stop coloring her hair, but it was her heterochromia that made her instantly recognizable. The single, blue and brown eyes that had fascinated him throughout his own adoption hearing. Her face was stern but kind and held far more wrinkles than he remembered, no doubt from age and years of making difficult decisions, day in and day out. She shuffled through the records in front of her.
"I'm sorry for how you lost your mother," she spoke kindly. Edward nodded respectfully, acknowledging her words, but there was a small part of him, still bitter and angry that wanted to pop off and correct her, but he kept his mouth smartly shut. "And I see here that you're the only living relative, that we can locate," she paused to looked him over.
Edward nodded once more, "yes Your Honor, that is correct."
"And Mr. Goldberg, what is your recommendation for placement of these children?" She asked, turning her full attention on Mark.
"Your Honor, it's my personal belief that these children will be better off remaining together and placed in the custody of their eldest brother, Mr. Cullen. He has shown remarkable character by simply showing up, and he has a willingness to provide these children a safe and stable home."
"And you," she pushed her glasses up her nose and looked over a document on her desk, "Miss Swan," Bella sat up even straighter upon being called, "do you believe that Mr. Cullen can provide a home for these children?"
"I do," Bella stated firmly. The judge lifted an eyebrow and Bella continued on hastily, "I've known Edward for over a year now, Your Honor. The first thing I learned was that he's a good man, and when I say good, I really mean it, like the salt of the earth; good to the bone." She blushed a little, "he's very hardworking, more often than not one of the smartest guys in the room, while he's very successful and passionate about his career, he's a family man first. I'm not just saying that. I can provide you with proof if I must." She held up the series of pictures.
The judge nodded, "I'd like to see them." A young Bailiff collected the pictures and handed them to the judge. "What exactly am I looking at here?" She asked.
"That first picture is a copy of his last month's schedule. If you look at the purple highlights, those are his family obligations. You'll see he eats lunch at least once a week with his father, every other Sunday he goes to his parents for dinner. He always makes time to calls his sister back, regularly hangs out with his older brother. The way he looks up to his adopted father, I assure you, his siblings will look at Edward the very same way." Bella kept her eyes on the judge, the tips of her ears burned, afraid she had said too much.
Edward squeezed her hand quickly before pulling away. Neither spoke, as the judge looked through the pictures that Bella had put together the night before. There was a photo of Edward with his siblings, one of him at his computer, researching child care and making lists, the last few were of Edward speaking with a couple members of the Ithaca Fire Department as they showed them how to properly install the child seats.
"And Mr. Cullen, do you realize the enormity of the decision, you're making here today?"
"I do Your Honor," he affirmed.
"And you do realize children need more than money to care for them?"
"I do, Your Honor, but having a sizable income will make it all the easier to provide my brothers and sister with the resources they will need to have bright and successful futures." He stated coolly.
"And do you have anything else you'd like to state?" She asked.
"Yes Your Honor," he paused to take a steadying breath, "all I'm asking is that you give these children the same chance you gave me, twenty years ago. A family. A future. I'll make sure they're well cared for. I know it'll be hard, difficult. I may even want to quit at times but I won't, because you don't quit on your family. You do for family Ma'am. I'll do my best for them. That I promise you." He gave her a small nod and turned to Bella who gave him a wide smile.
"Mr. Cullen, it pleases me to say this. I find you're a fit and suitable guardian for these children. I hereby grant you full guardianship of, Asher James, Mia Grace, Braxton Thomas, and Holden William Mason." She gave a small chuckle, "I sure hope you know what you're in for. I pray my courtroom sees more men like you. Good luck, you're going to need it."
"Thank you, Your Honor." He let out a deep breath as the room cleared. He found himself with an armful of Bella.
She pulled back and beamed at him, "see, I told you, you totally had this."
He laughed softly and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't believe,"
"You better believe it," Mark Goldberg chuckled as he shook both of their hands, "follow me to the family services office, you can meet the foster families and collect the children."
"They're ready?" Edward asked surprised.
Mark smiled as he shook his head fondly and corrected, "they're waiting. Let's just say I had a good feeling about the outcome today."
Bella gave Edward a smug smile, he rolled his eyes, "we'll follow you."
"Don't say it," Edward chuckled as the passenger door closed, and Bella clicked on her seatbelt.
"Oh. I'm so gonna say it," she teased, her eyes bright and warm.
He faked a groan as he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot and up to the stop sign behind Mark's teal minivan. "I told you so," she stated with a laugh that made him grin.
He followed Mark, taking extra care to follow the laws. Bella's eyes remained firmly focused on slicing fruit in half on her phone as he drove. He pulled into an empty parking spot.
He broke the silence first, "are these people fucking crazy. I can't take these kids home," Edward murmured, going a bit cold, "I have no freaking clue what the hell I'm doing."
Bella blinked and smiled slowly, giving him a look of pure confidence, "you'll be fine. You have a nanny. Remember?"
He snorted.
"Seriously, I promise, I won't leave your side until you're comfortable."
He nodded, he felt calmer, his stomach not as twisted. Worry still ate at him, but these nerves were different, more settled, his eyes darted to Bella's. He really didn't want to look too close as to why that would be.
"Want me to go in with you?" She asked.
"I think that'd be best," he agreed, climbing out and grabbing one of the infant car seats, as Bella gathered the other and the diaper bag. He cursed himself mentally for not thinking of the bag.
He followed her into the Office of Family Services where Mark was waiting for them; he led them down to the large playroom.
Edward eyed the two couples. One was a young, with pleasant smiles. The other, an older man and woman, a pair who had made a life fostering children.
"Edward!" Asher's face lit up, and he dropped the fake sword he had been playing with, he bolted across the room and wrapped his arms around Edward's leg.
"Hey Alligators," he chuckled, ruffling his hair. He was pleased to see Mia running towards them. He caught her in his arms and hugged her close. He scooped up Asher in his other arm and carried them over to the car seats. "Look at you boys, both awake I see," he chuckled as he stared down at the pair of newborns. They were tiny and a bit intimidating.
He once again wanted to ask if they had all gone crazy. Instead, he glanced over at Bella, "I think they've grown." He received chuckles, and he placed his brother and sister back on their feet, "go play for a few more minutes," he watched them eye him before hesitantly returning to their play.
"Edward Cullen," he introduced himself to the couples, shaking each of their hands fondly. "I wanted to thank you, it's important what you all do...very important. I greatly appreciate that you opened your homes and your hearts to my brothers and sister. I wanted to take a moment to personally assure you that I'll take care of them."
He shook their hands once more, he watched from a polite distance as they said their goodbyes. His heart ached for the young couple who left with the empty car seats.
He glanced down at Holden in his arms as Braxton lounged lazily in Bella's. He signed a few more documents.
Mark handed him a folder of paperwork, "everything's set, you're free to go," he announced jovially. "I've arranged for a social worker for you back home to stop by a few times over the next six months, just to make sure everything is going along okay, standard procedure," he assured them.
Edward nodded, he shook Mark's hand firmly, "Thank you." He followed Bella's lead and placed Holden into his new, red and black car seat. "Hope you're comfortable, guys," he told the boys, as he scooped up one of the car seats. They were top of the line and had a number of awards for the extra protection and safety they offered.
He lifted Mia up with his free arm, and Asher took Bella's free hand as they followed him out of the office. He opened the back door and let Mia climb up into the Escalade before he clicked Holden's into his car seat base. He went around and held Braxton's car seat as Bella climbed in after Asher.
"Pretty," Mia complimented her colorful, Britax car seat as Bella latched her in.
"It is." She agreed, before turning to Asher who was clicking himself into his own, five-point harness like a pro, "cool, I've got cupholders."
She climbed out of the back and into the passenger seat as Edward placed Braxton's into his base and headed for the driver's seat. They traded a look after he fastened his own seatbelt.
He glanced in the rearview mirror.
"Are we going or not?" Asher blurted out after a long minute.
"We're going, we're going," Edward assured him and carefully pulled out of the parking lot, his heart hammering in his chest as he drove across town and back to their hotel.
Author Note...
A big Thank you to Sunflower Fran for beta'ing.
I pray everyone is well. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and for those who celebrate, a Happy Easter.
I apologize for the delay. Spring break was crazy busy. I took my kids on a 1,000-mile drive up to my Mom's. We had some much-needed fun with her. But, I'm calling her out... She's always been an oversharer, this time she went too far. She gave her nasty, nasty chest cold. I spent a week in bed once we got back home.
This chapter was brought to you by Kodi and a bottle of ginger ale. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter and please leave a Review!
- Emily