What do you even do in this situation? Has anyone ever been in this situation? Maybe dragging David away with me was the wrong choice, but I think Hilda needed to be alone for this.

Remorse Of An Adventurer II

Tangled Paths

By Daring D.D. Danger
III: The Ghost

***Hilda***

"Hi Hilda." Johanna said softly, and waved. I was having a hard time responding. There was too much.

"It's okay if you're not ready to talk yet Hilda. This has taken me a bit by surprise too." She crossed her arms nervously.

"Why'd you have to go?" I finally yelled. Tears were running down my face.

"Believe me it wasn't my choice. It was that buffoon who couldn't control his car."

"Why were you even out that late driving!"

"You ran away Hilda! The weather was freezing and I had no clue where you were!"

"You never came on one of my adventures like that before."

"What about when you met Twig?" I didn't have an answer for that one. I'd saved Twig from being trapped when I was a little girl, and in return he'd saved me from a wolf attack. "I just, I wish you'd told me more about the things you were doing Hilda."

"It doesn't matter now. You're gone and it's my fault!" I was fighting hard not to sob, but the tears kept running like streams down my cheeks as I held a stoic face.

"It's not your fault Hilda." She bent down and put her hand on my face, which felt cold and wet and hollow. I leaned into it a bit, and my head went right through her hand, and a weird tingle came over the areas that passed through mum's hand. I cried harder. "There was no way for me to communicate with you but I was watching over you. Through the move to David's house, the Black Hound, all of it. With an incredible amount of stress I might add. My only regret is that I didn't get to finish watching you grow up."

"Then don't go back! You're here now!" I begged.

"That's not how it works I'm afraid. I don't belong here anymore." I think she was crying a bit too. "I know what you went through, trying to bring me back that night, thinking you should've gone instead, but those things aren't what I want Hilda. I want you to be happy and adventurous, like you've been since you were a little baby."

"I don't want to hurt anyone else."

"You never hurt me. I'm your mum, I was just doing my job." I finally broke down and began crying loudly, laying on the cold dirt. Wet, snotty sobbing like I hadn't done since I was a child. I clenched and unclenched the short grass in my hands as my whole body shook from the weight of a sorrow I had never quite dealt with.

At some point she must have sat down next to me, and the shaking and snot and sobbing subsided, I felt the ghostly impression of her hand rubbing my back. And in some small, token way it comforted me.

"Why don't we use this time to catch up on what I missed?" She asked, as the last tears came out.

"I don't really want to talk about it." I sat up, passing through her hand, and collected myself. It took her a second, but she moved in next to me, like she used to at home.

"I know it's a lot for a little girl. Even my little adventurer. I'm very proud of you for staying strong enough to keep going."

"I don't think I'm strong."

"Why not?"

"I spent months inside crying. David had to make me eat."

"You were grieving, and you had no other family to help."

"What about the cemetery?" I asked.

"Your heart was in the right place, just not your head. Don't blame yourself for hurting David either. He jumped in front of you, and you both ended up okay."

"I don't know about that. I still feel like all I've done is hurt people."

"You saved David and Frida from the Black Hound."

"I'm not sure I want to talk about that, or the nightmare."

"I don't know much about the nightmare. What I do know is that healing takes a long time, Hilda."

"How am I supposed to feel? I have no family left! No life!" I threw the rock that I held in my hand at a tree as a few tears slipped out.

"You have family. David. He's been there for you the entire time I haven't. and Frida. You still have your wanderlust and sense of adventure. You just, have to get back into the groove. Grief may never go away, but it will get better. Life will get better." She gave a small smile, trying to reassure me. I looked away.

"I'm not sure."

"Then promise me you'll keep going until you are sure." She put a hand against my cheek, and I let her guide me into looking at her. She was smiling.

"Okay." I got up on my feet and extended my arms for a hug. Mum joined, she no longer had her warm embrace that I suddenly missed so dearly. I looked at her as her blue aura turned gold, and she broke apart into little bits, like stars and a whisper fell on my ear.

"I love you Hilda."

I was left alone, hands empty. Night had fallen on Trolberg as I began walking the quiet streets. Trolberg had become familiar to me, not in the sense of layout, but in familiar things like trees and people who frequent similar places. Even the dust of Trolberg held a familiar nostalgia. "I love you too, mum."

Main street generally was not crowded this time of night, except during the Raven Parade I suppose. I navigated into an alley which featured one of Ahlberg's Troll Hotline posters. I ripped it down and crushed it into a ball, throwing it onto the ground. Finally I clambered up a familiar wall, to the spot I'd sat with mum at the Bird Parade. Trolberg didn't have all the life and light that night had now, but in a way, neither did I.

I found myself distracted by a scratching behind me. I bent backwards so my head quickly crossed the sky, I swear I saw a Marra streak by before my head finished it's arc and faced the alley, and the familiar upside down face of David. I rolled over and helped pull him up.

"No Frida?" I asked.

"She's around the corner, checking your other frequent spots."

"Did twig come with you when mum showed up?" No sooner did the Deerfox hop up onto the ledge.

"How did you get up here when I couldn't with thumbs?" David asked Twig. I laughed a little. Twig snuggled into my lap.

"It's cold tonight." David noted.

"Winter is on it's way."

"So, are you…"

"Yes I'm fine. Or maybe I'm not. It's a lot right now." I trailed off at the end.

"For now, I think that's okay." David gave that same small smile.

"Thank you for being my family, David." I said sheepishly, as if it was a failing somehow to need him, even though I knew it wasn't.

"You don't need to thank me Hilda."

"I want to thank you. I promise I'll repay you some day."

"No need. You're my sister, remember. I'd do anything for you."

"Thank you. Really." I pulled him in for a hug.

"Am I interrupting?" Frida said as she dragged herself onto the ledge.

"No, not at all." I said, and I think that same soft smile passed my lips too.

"Is everything alright?" She asked.

"No. But for now I think that's okay." I said.

"I'll trust your judgment Hilda."

"David." I said.

"Yes, Hilda?"

"You're the best big brother I could've asked for." A tear dripped down my face.

"I love you too, little sister."

To Be Continued in: The Windmill