Heroic Acts Performed at a Reasonable Price

by Son of Caliban

In which Izuku Midoriya acquires a power called Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap from the former president of the United States of America, as well as a fashionable pink coat. Mayhem ensues.

23. My Hero, My Villain, My Friend

Katsuki Bakugou cracked his neck, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. He was standing on the cement platform where he had already found two victories earlier in the day, though neither were in any way satisfying. He looked up at the afternoon sun, which was only just beginning to exit its zenith and drop down toward the horizon. It was about two, he figured, maybe a little earlier. Plenty of time to kick some ass, find something that would make this shitty festival worth showing up for.

"A-are you ready?" asked Kinoko Komori, drawing a scoff from Katsuki.

"How the fuck could I not be?" he answered the question with a question, giving few to no fucks about the technical impoliteness of such a practice. "This is Deku we're talking about. No matter how many ass-pull powerups he gets, he's still the same nerd who sleeps with an All Might plushy."

Kinoko looked at him, almost disappointed. Hold the fuck up, he told himself, when the fuck had she become anything more than 'shroom head' to him? She was still just some shitty extra, same as Deku and the headcase and dictionary, same as icy-hot and… alright, that Tororo had balls, he could give him that. Needed some practice… alright, a lot of practice, but that went for everybody. Even him. Natural talent could only go so far. Pretty goddamn far, as far as he was concerned, but still… there were limits.

"Would it really be that hard for you to actually take one of our fights seriously?" Shroom-head asked him, glancing over.

Katsuki scoffed again, before pointing up at the screen.

"He's already late." he replied. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's trying to come up with a plan to-"

The sudden sound of laughter cut him off, right before he could finish his sentence. He looked all around the arena, where the general hubbub had died down as Present Mic lost his mind on a live microphone. Then they went totally silent, all staring down into the arena, as multiple figures clad in UA phys-ed uniforms dropped down from the stands, forming a circle around the arena.

Each of them looked familiar, and Katsuki stared and began counting. One Deku, two Deku, three Deku, four… five Deku, six Deku, seven Deku, more… his eyes went wide. The archway opposite him was illuminated by a green light moving down the corridor, and yet another Deku walked out, his top unzipped and hanging open, flanked by two more Dekus. The one on the left was tiny and drowsy, looking like he was about two seconds from falling asleep. The other was much taller and built like the metaphorical brick shithouse. He looked older too, at least eighteen. The Deku in the middle… there was a familiar face.

Katsuki had always been convinced something was up with Deku after the USJ incident. Nobody just grew two inches in height and six in hair length because of a villain. And a villain with a Quirk that had turned Aizawa into a girl? Bullshit. Nobody had told him or 1-A jack shit, but something had happened, something big. But this Deku… everything was much more familiar. The same messy green hair, the same verdant eyes, the same lack of height. But… something was up. Deku… Deku didn't grin like that. Deku didn't have that look of confidence in his expression. Deku didn't stand upright with his arms wide, basking in the cheers and shouts of the crowd.

"WHAT IS THIS?" asked Present Mic, voice booming through the speakers. "IT LOOKS LIKE IZUKU MIDORIYA WON'T BE COMPETING ALONE AFTER ALL! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT SEEMS THAT QUIRK OF HIS IS EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN WE SUSPECTED!"

Each Deku was a little different, but that Deku in the middle… that was familiar. That made sense. The Dekus ringing the arena all stayed where they were, but the three from the archway, they continued to approach. All three walked up the steps, over the white line, and into the ring. The Deku in the middle, the Deku he thought he knew… he SMIRKED at Katsuki.

"Are you ready for this, Kacchan?" he asked.

Katsuki looked all around, before his expression twisted into a glare that could burn holes in concrete, directed straight at Deku. Not any of these weird, wrong Dekus; the one in the middle, the one he just fucking KNEW was HIS Deku.

"The fuck is this, Deku?" he growled.

"Thunderstruck, Kacchan." Izuku said, raising one fist crackling with green and purple lightning. "MY power."

"Bullshit." Katsuki spat.

"You're right, he doesn't change much as a boy," said the tall Deku, the one built like some kind of Greek statue.

"The fuck did you just say?" Katsuki growled, glaring up at the taller one.

"Nothing of importance." said Deku, the real Deku, shaking his head. "These two are my partners. Kacchan, meet Izuku Midoriya, and Izuku Midoriya."

Silence reigned for a long moment, before Deku chuckled.

"Bad joke, sorry." he admitted, before gesturing to the tiny, sleepy Deku to his left. "Both of them were born with Quirks. One knows you as a friend, the other…"

Deku looked up at big Deku, who shrugged.

"As a girl." he admitted. "Gotta admit, this is still really weird."

Smaller Deku was staring at Katsuki, blinking blearily and cocking his head to one side.

"Why… why is Kacchan saying bad words again?" he asked, voice a sleepy murmur. "Kacchan's momma'll be mad… and then she'll start saying bad words too…"

Katsuki stared at small Deku, narrowing his eyes for a second. What the fuck was he on about? Bad words? Katsuki always swore; it was a useful way of getting across how fucking serious you were being, without resorting to talking like a boring loser all the time. True, he'd have to reign it in for his hero work, at least publically, but he wasn't going to coddle the public and pretend like he was some soap-in-mouth good boy who would never cuss ever. What fresh hell was this Deku from?

"These two are my teammates for this little brawl of ours." Deku said, nodding. "The others… well, they're here to watch, and because I kind of maybe sort of dragged them all back with me while I was looking for these two…"

He suddenly looked much more like the Deku Katsuki knew, rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish grin on his face, staring down at the floor and mumbling. Both other Dekus were staring at him, the big one with a look of revelation and the smaller one with a dozy little smile.

"So I DO sound like a crazy person!" said big Deku, putting a hand under his chin.

"Anyhow…" Deku shook his head and looked back up. "That's the deal. I checked with Aizawa-sensei; this is technically legal, since there aren't any rules about it."

Somewhere, Nezu was grinning at being outsmarted, Izuku was sure. He'd only be able to do this today; next year, there'd be a rule. Hell, there'd probably be an official rule about using alternate-dimension copies of yourself to bypass the rule about one-on-one/two-on-two combat by tomorrow morning, if he was being honest. But if self-cloning Quirks could get away with it… so too could he. For now, at least.

"So are you admitting you can't fight me one on one then?" asked Katsuki, glaring at him. "You need these bullshit ass-pull powers to fight me?"

"My power is no more of a bullshit ass-pull than yours, Kacchan." Izuku retorted suddenly, possibly his first time swearing in Katsuki's company. "You were born with the ability to sweat nitroglycerin. You don't get to play the 'bullshit' card here. Get over yourself."

The vitriol in Deku's voice, the way he spat each syllable like it was poison in his mouth… that didn't feel anything like the Deku Katsuki knew. He blinked twice, before nodding, for once in his life at a loss for words.

"But if you're so insistent…" Deku turned to big Deku, then small Deku, giving each a nod. The former gave him a thumbs-up, the latter turning around and staggering away, half-asleep on his feet. "Then I'll do this your way."

Katsuki froze when those green eyes turned back on him. There was weight there, power, conviction… where the fuck was it coming from? Where the fuck was the weepy little loser he had so freely bullied in the past? Where was fucking Deku, and what had this guy done with him?

"Are you… are you all done?" asked a hesitant voice from the side, Kinoko Komori taking a tentative step forward. "A-are we g-gonna go now?"

"I'm ready." said Deku, now standing alone. "I apologize for what is coming."

"I'm gonna kick your ass." Katsuki declared.

"Then…" Midnight, who had been staring at the ensemble cast of Izuku Midoriya's and perhaps spending a little too long staring at the tall and handsome one, shook her head free of fantasies. "Umm… wait for Mic to call it."

"ARE YOU READY?" asked Present Mic, half to the audience and half to the contestants.

The former screamed and cheered. The latter nodded, all three of them.

"THEN LET'S GET THIS FINAL BOUT STARTED!" Present Mic screamed. "FIGHT!"

Deku lunged. Katsuki lunged. Kinoko stepped back and unleashed a wave of spores. Deku flicked a finger and a gust of wind blew them all away, right back towards their creator, who coughed when they flew back into her face, waving her hands and trying to keep them out of her eyes and throat. Katsuki's first explosion missed. His second, a quick blast at Deku's exposed side, didn't, and he managed to knock his opponent off balance.

Deku rolled, rising to his feet and sidestepping Katsuki's second big explosion, countering it with another flick that neutralized some of the force. Katsuki swore, diving forward with his right hand outstretched, crackling with explosive potential.

Izuku caught him by the wrist, the same way he had back in their first brawl during the training exercise. Katsuki knew this was going to happen, and so he used his left hand to blast himself back, pulling Deku off balance and delivering the intended explosion straight into his opponent's stomach.

The rest of the fight was like a series of snapshots in his mind, breaking down from blow to blow. Right hook, ducked, countered with a sucker punch packed with nitroglycerin. No dice, his fist disappears between the folds of Deku's open top and reappears somewhere else entirely. A retaliatory blast to the face, also dodged, before he takes a snap-kick to the temple for his troubles. Blast back to gain some distance, get flicked, almost lose his balance and have to blow an explosion behind himself to stay up and in the ring.

Another wave of fungal spores, a few mushrooms starting to grow on Deku's skin. A cough, a groan and a flex, muscles releasing too much power. The mushrooms demolished. Deku, halfway into a lunging punch. Deku, nailing Kinoko in the jaw with a hook he feinted a jab to land. Kinoko, getting thrown through the air. Katsuki, blasting toward her.

Catching her. Laying her down outside the bounds, away from the chaos. Deku, standing there. A scowl. A charge. Punches. Kicks. A headshot that knocks him off balance and on his back. A kick to the stomach. Another kick to the stomach. A third kick to the fucking stomach. Why is Deku screaming 'useless' at him as he lands the fourth kick? Who fucking knows. A fifth kick. Katsuki blasting out from under Deku and getting back on his feet.

Then… a moment of calm.

As an expectant crowd watched, Katsuki Bakugou pressed his right hand to his side, where there was at least one cracked rib he'd have to ignore for the next few minutes. Over a thousand people were witnessing him as he rose from his knees, the palm of his left hand crackling with tiny firecracker explosions. He had to cook off residual nitroglycerin before he could utilize a larger blast, after all. It was one of many subtle details about his Quirk nobody seemed to notice.

Deku noticed. Deku had noticed years ago, the same way Deku noticed EVERYTHING. Bakugou knew it was probably in one of those stupid goddamn notebooks, along with every other bit of minutia about his Quirk. Was that he was losing? A lack of information? Deku had been analyzing his Quirk for years, while he had been disregarding the boy as just another worthless extra. Was this his punishment for his arrogance?

Deku smiled, his arms spread wide and top hanging open. Fucker was panting, sweat dripping from his face and down his exposed chest (when the fuck had he gotten so ripped?), green hair plastered to his forehead. Both of them were a mess, Deku covered in little contact burns and a rather ferocious bruise all across his stomach from a sucker punch. Bakugou had his rib to contend with, a black eye, and a massive collection of bruises from Deku's rain of punches and kicks. Bastard had even learned some kind of rudimentary martial arts, it looked like, probably from that masked fucker he hung around with so much.

Bakugou rolled his shoulders, feeling the cartilage pop. He was running out of time; every explosion was a little more strain on his arms, a little more of that building ache that reached bone deep when it built up enough. Deku wasn't restrained by anything but his own stamina as far as Bakuogu could tell, unless this 'Thunderstruck' bullshit had some kind of hidden resource he was expending.

"Is this enough for you, Kacchan?" he asked, with that bizarre confidence that was nothing like the stuttering, stammering mess Bakugou had known for most of his life. "Is this the fight you wanted?"

Bakugou spat on the floor before cocking his head to one side, a scowl building. He pulled his right hand back from his side, a series of tiny blasts building there too. One big blast; the arena was bare. Empty. He spared a moment to glance at the mushroom girl, laying on the floor behind Deku, out of bounds. He had put her there, gentle as he could manage, and Deku hadn't taken the opportunity to knock him out as well.

"You're better, Deku, but that doesn't mean shit." Bakugou warned, his hands slick with the building nitroglycerin. "I'm going to blow you the fuck away!"

Deku closed his eyes for a moment. He was still smiling, a genuine expression of joy, of delight. He looked… fucking hell, he looked PROUD.

"Thank you for this, Kacchan." said Deku, before his eyes opened and he raised one fist, clenching it, that bizarre green lightning swarming around the lifted hand. "Thank you for finally giving me this."

Katsuki Bakugou was an asshole. He knew that. He was proud of it, because it meant he was different. He knew exactly who he was, what he wanted, what he was about. He had questioned a few things about himself lately, but this was much better. No shitty backstory making his opponent a whiny bitch, no fake masterminds playing at being puppet masters. Just two guys beating the absolute shit out of each other in front of a crowd that couldn't get enough of it. Bakugou LOVED IT.

Katsuki Bakugou was also reasonable. Sometimes. So his scowl slowly shifted to a grin, against his will and he stared Deku down with hands full of pending explosions, legs tensing and ready to run. His grin was a fearsome sight, he knew. But Deku smiled as well, his whole body slowly building that green lightning, and he cracked his neck to one side.

Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya were not friends. Not any more. Too much had happened.

"If you really want a Quirk… take a dive off the roof!"

"I'm going to be a hero!"

"DIE!"

"Do be careful in the rain..."

But they were two boys who were both aiming for the top. Two young men reaching for the glory, the responsibility of the number one hero's position. Both were fighters to the end, who would never surrender, never admit defeat, never take a single step back. They were warriors at heart.

So when Bakugou began corkscrewing through the air, and when Midoriya allowed Thunderstruck to interface with every minute gap in the arena, when the air itself was filled with smoke and lightning, when the roar of the crowd rose and didn't come back down, when Present Mic began screaming like a man possessed, when the world itself seemed to shake as two unstoppable forces were brought to collision with one another, when Izukus and Katsukis across all of multifaceted reality felt a collective chill run down their spines, the two of them KNEW.

They KNEW they were destined for more.

They KNEW they were going to do great things.

And most of all, they KNEW they were never going to be free of one another.

"HOWITZER IMPACT!"

Bakugou's voice was a roar that could be heard across the whole arena, through all the smoke and the noise, a declaration of coming devastation, even as he spun and spun with greater intensity, hands filled with enough explosives to demolish a skyscraper, aimed squarely at his opponent.

"HIGH VOLTAGE!"

Izuku's voice was a hundred at once, as ghostly tendrils made of green and purple lightning reached out from between pillars and loosened bricks, from between the folds of his jacket, reaching toward him, the power of One For All shared across manifold realities from a hundred different Izukus and filling his right arm with the power to punch an army of zero-pointer robots into powder.

Bakugou released the catalyzing agent that detonated his nitroglycerin.

Izuku lunged forward and let his fist fly in a haymaker.

Five enormous walls of cement rose between the two as Cementoss desperately worked to try and prevent the devastation of the entire arena. Each was eradicated, two by the flying form of Izuku Midoriya, two by the sheer explosive power of Katsuki Bakugou. The last was demolished when the two meant, the resultant shockwave blowing a gale-force wind through the whole arena. There was enough smoke and dust and debris it was physically impossible for anybody to see what was happening.

Slowly, it settled and cleared.

Slowly, the result was revealed.

Izuku Midoriya stood, his arm hanging limp, every joint from the tips of his fingers to his shoulder dislocated, his arm swollen and throbbing. His top had been destroyed, his pants little more a ragged pair of shorts at this point.

Katsuki Bakugou stood, both arms quivering as he held them upright, palms aimed square at Izuku. His own sports uniform was devastated, leaving him in a similar condition to Izuku. His teeth were clenched together, his eyes wide.

"Fuckin'-"

Izuku took a long step forward, and brought his left arm around in a hook punch. Katsuki dodged back, before kicking this rival's over-extended knee. Izuku dropped to one knee, and Katsuki went for a shot to the jaw. Izuku caught his fist, before sweeping his leg out and catching Katsuki's ankle. Both boys were down. Izuku was grinning. Katsuki was laughing.

He grabbed a fistful of Izuku's hair, before catching a jab to the face and getting knocked took the initiative, grabbing him by the collar with his functional arm and channeling Thunderstruck again, lifting himself and Katsuki up. His back was aching like madness, his legs trembling, but he forced himself to move toward the edge of the arena, to finish this the only way it could possibly be finished.

Katuski blasted him in the face with an explosion, and both boys fell to the ground mere feet from that white line that marked the border of victory and defeat. Both boys laid there for a moment, before in unison they began to rise again. Izuku punched the ground, the pain jolting his system into action. Katsuki bit the inside of his cheek for the same effect. Both boys staggered to a standing position and stared each other down.

"This… is good." Izuku declared, panting and grinning like an idiot despite his fatigue.

"Be better… if you'd just… admit defeat…" Katsuki replied, his smirk far more genuine than he wanted it to be.

"Momma always… told me… lying was… bad…" said Izuku.

"Ain't lyin'... if it's true..." said Bakugou.

Both boys shared a laugh, before Bakugou paused, closing his eyes for a moment before looking back up at Izuku.

"So… are we... friends now?" he asked.

Izuku smiled, reaching out with his left hand as if offering it for Katsuki to shake. Katsuki stared at it, suspicious, before taking it in his own. Both boys met eyes again, and Izuku nodded.

"If that's what you want." he said.

"If you really want a Quirk… take a dive off the roof!"

But he didn't.

"I'm going to be a hero!"

Here he was.

"DIE!"

It was practically his fuckin' catchphrase, fuck you.

"Do be careful in the rain..."

Like some bastard in a mask scared him.

"I'd like that." said Katsuki.

"Good." said Izuku.

Then he pulled Katsuki toward him and kicked him in the stomach. Katsuki at the same time, raised his free hand and fired off an explosion. Both boys were knocked back, and Izuku lamented his lack of a second arm at the moment.

"Then let's... fuckin'... finish this!" Katsuki screamed, his grin practically manic.

"Yes… let's." Izuku agreed, his own smile much more pure.

Bakugou began building up another explosion. Izuku began channeling Thunderstruck into his functional arm and legs. Both cocked a hand back, Bakugou's curled into a claw-like shape and filled with a building fireball, Izuku's clenched in a fist and crackling with lightning. Both lunged forward.

And then both collapsed onto the ground, utterly spent, their final blows draining the very last vestiges of strength from both of them. Every single other Izuku that had crowded the arena disappeared in an instant, a flash of green and purple lightning marking their departure. The crowd fell into their first moments of silence since the whole spectacle had begun, the cheers dying down and hands lowering. Midnight stared at the two, practically expecting both of them to get up yet again, to stagger toward each other and keep beating the hell out of one another.

When over a minute passed in near-silence, she raised a reluctant hand and dropped it, calling the match.

"It's a draw!" she declared. "Neither contestant appears to be able to stand! Or… move, actually…"

That third sentence was muttered under her breath as she walked toward the two, standing over their collapsed forms. Both were ragged and utterly wrecked, messes of bruises and general injuries that Recovery Girl would probably throw a fit about. But both were alive. So was Kinoko Komori, who had apparently been teleported away by… someone. Midoriya, most likely.

She, nor anybody else, even noticed that a young man with a green stripe in his hair, had shouted something to Midoriya. Something that had prevented Kinoko's impending injury during the brawl between Bakugou and Midoriya, when the two unleashed their most powerful attacks at each other. Something that had made Midoriya throw away his top to land on top of her curled form, to teleport her to the medbay.

"WELL, IT'S BEEN A HELL OF A DAY, FOLKS!" Present Mic declared. "BUT IT'S BEEN CALLED. OUR FINAL BATTLE OF THE DAY IS A DRAW BETWEEN TEAM MIDORIYA AND TEAM BAKUGOU!"

AN:

Well, that's a wrap. For the Sports Festival, at least. What comes next? Well… all sorts of things, to be wholly honest. But I wanted to give this the ending it deserved, considering this monster of an arc has pretty much been the majority of this story at this point. I didn't set out intending to give it the deluxe treatment… but here we are.

It's finally over.

What happened? Loads. New characters get new arcs, old characters have shifted and changed, there's a big freaking hole in Class 1-A's roster, Bakugou's about to get in some deep shit when everybody finds out what happened to Todoroki (hopefully now you non-fans of Bakugou will find what you were looking for, though maybe not in the proportions you'd hoped for) and we're gonna be integrating a few new friends into 1-A.

Oh, and Nezu's going to be patching up a hole in the rules. Can't let Izuku almost cheat twice, after all.

Hopefully this was as satisfying to read as it was to finally write down. I certainly hope it was. Sorry for the kind-of false-advertising with the foreshadowing of the 'multiple Dekus' premise, but no matter how many times I tried to write that battle… it just didn't feel right. Deku should be able to fight his battles, this battle especially, without resorting to tricks like that. Don't get me wrong, I love how cerebral of a combatant Deku is in My Hero proper, but sometimes… sometimes you've just gotta drop the plans, drop the schemes and raise your fists to give it the old one-two.

Y'know?

Well, that's about it for me. I'm gonna go eat some pizza. Hope you all enjoyed, and I'll see you with the next one!

Addendum: Goobered this up the first time around in an effort to get this finished before my hands totally cramped up, but Big Deku is brought to you by the ever talented Epsilon110, more particularly his story Total Command. It's a great story and I was very happy when he agreed to let me borrow his Deku for this little adventure of ours. Please check it out, it's well worth your time and is the primary reason I believe fem!Bakugou is the best ship for Izuku.

No, that's not the ship in this story. Sorry Amadeus, keep guessing.