33 — Pink's On Fire!

"It started when Mary Twist . . ," Mr. Weasley began explaining to the Wizengamot.

"A muggle-born witch?" interrupted Madam Bones.

He blinked in surprise, "Well, yes. Anyway, she came into my office in a rush. There was an incident at her mother's house regarding a cursed tea-set. After steeping, if a muggle began to pour a cup, the teapot would spray alternating streams of ice-cold and steaming hot tea all over the muggles in the room." He sighed and shook his head.

There were titters of amusement from both the Wizengamot members and the watching gallery.

The red-headed wizard frowned and looked around the room.

"Fortunately," he continued, "Miss Twist happened to be there and was able to get things sorted, but she wanted something done about the tea-set.

"She had acquired the tea-set for her mother as a birthday present, you see, and her mother had had a tea party with her muggle friends the following weekend.

"I removed the curse, it was rather simple, actually. Then I began tracking down the wizard responsible. Fortunately, she knew the wizard who had sold her the tea-set — Mundungus Fletcher." He sighed.

"Once I had Fletcher in custody, it came up that the tea-set had been stolen, and that he was in possession an unregistered potion.

"There is a fine for selling a muggle-baiting item, stiff, but not that terrible. Plus, this was his first offense. He hadn't known that the set was cursed, but he should have checked, first.

"That it had been reported as stolen, however, made the case a bit more severe. Now it included a several week's stay in Azkaban, and a much stiffer fine.

"The potion, on the other hand, was not such an easy problem. First, he should have surrendered a sample of the potion to the Ministry Potions Department. They would have analysed the potion for harmful side-effects, and its efficacy at doing what the potion was supposed to do. Only if it did what it was supposed to do — and nothing harmful — and had only temporary and mild side-effects would it be allowed to be produced and sold or shared with others."

Most of the Wizengamot members were nodding in agreement.

"As you know, producing, selling, or possessing an unregistered potion is forbidden. If the potion's properties are severe enough, the inventor of the potion might be punished for inventing and producing it, up to and including being forbidden to make any potions whatsoever. That would be in addition to any fines or time in Azkaban." He leaned back in his chair.

"That was the sticking point for Fletcher. He knew that if a Ministry potion master looked at his potion, they would discover that it affected the minds of the drinkers — nothing dangerous, mind you, they would merely think whomever was playing an instrument or singing was a better than musician or singer really was — which could influence them into giving him more money for him playing — he insisted he had never done that. However, it did have the potential of being badly abused.

"But he swore it was only because he wanted people to like his music, and he never used the potion with a wizarding audience." Mr. Weasley stopped a moment.

"Which was when he tried to bribe me with one hundred Galleons."

The whole room gasped. That was the equivalent of a year's wages for the average Ministry worker.

"I immediately hit him with a stupefy, and notified the Auror department," Mr. Weasley concluded.

"Thank you for your assistance in this matter," said Madam Bones, dismissing the man. "I'm sorry we had to take up your valuable time." After the exchange of a few pleasantries, the red-haired wizard made his exit from the chambers, only to return a few minutes later wearing his Wizengamot robe, and take a seat.

The room descended into outraged whispering and debates as to how long the wizard should be incarcerated. Not being able to pay the fine in full immediately would increase his stay at the wizarding prison by more than a few weeks.

Now it was Fletcher's turn. His treatment was decidedly different, with an escort of four aurors and his hands chained to his back. The noise level rose as he came through the prisoners' door from the holding room.

Mundungus was a short, half-blood wizard with bandy legs and long, straggly ginger hair. He had bloodshot, baggy brown eyes and hadn't shaved in several days. His hands were quite grubby, Anne saw, when his arms were chained to the arms of the prisoner's chair centred in the chamber.

He was also sweating.

Dumbledore had to set off a cannon blast from his wand to get the room settled again.

Madam Bones was quick to tell them that Mundungus had been involved in many illegal and questionable activities, and that he had a notorious disreputable reputation as a petty criminal. He had had a number of scrapes with the aurors in the past, and even one serious incident which had almost seen him in Azkaban for a rather lengthy term.

The veritaserum dose he received made him verify all the information reported by Mr. Weasley.

Normally, that would be the end of the interrogation with a vote on his being innocent or guilty. If he was voted guilty, then a discussion for the proper sentence and another vote would take place.

This time, though, there would be an additional question asked, Anne knew, almost as if it were an impulsive afterthought. It wasn't; but no one beyond Madam Bones, Sirius, Fletcher, and herself knew that the trial had been carefully planned and choregraphed for this moment.

Even the aurors in the chamber had been carefully selected.

"Administer the antidote," she ordered one of the aurors who was several paces away.

Just as he was about to tip the vial into Mundungus' mouth, she stopped him, saying, "Wait." She frowned as if she had had a sudden thought.

Staring impassively at the chained wizard, she asked, "Do you know of any other bribery cases by a half-blood that need investigation? Not your own, of course?" She raised her eyebrows in sudden thought. "Or, perhaps, someone who might know of unreported bribery cases?" It was a crime to know of a bribery incident, or attempted bribery, and not report it to the aurors.

The noise level in the courtroom had been steadily rising as it appeared the case was sorted and all that was left was sentencing. For a normally dull Wizengamot, this session had been surprisingly interesting. At the very least they had some interesting gossip for the tea table this evening.

In the dull monotone that all prisoners dosed with veritaserum exhibited, Fletcher replied, "Dolores Umbridge . . .."

Abruptly, the courtroom dropped to dead silence as the prisoner's words cut through the noise. Then it burst into an uproar, yelling and shouting as members demanded to know if Fletcher was lying, if they had misheard, or that he had to be mistaken.

Several objected that this was an illegal line of questioning.

Drowning out any other names he said was the thunderous roar as the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic leapt to her feet and bellowed, "WHAT!?"

The Minister, Cornelius Fudge, was seated beside her in the Minister for Magic's box in the Wizengamot section. They were below and in front of the Chief Warlock's podium. He looked on with an expression of sheer shock, gobsmacked at the revelation.

"THAT'S A LIE!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, pointing at Fletcher.

The room was in pandemonium as members tried to outshout each other.

The Daily Prophet reporter was taking notes furiously. A dull day that normally would have seen his story placed on the very last page had just given him front-page news. It didn't matter if it was true, just the accusation in such a forum as this was enough.

The Chief Warlock, Albus Dumbledore, silenced the room with a tremendous cannon blast from his wand. "Order, please," he said slowly.

Madam Bones had already stopped Fletcher, who patiently waited for the next question.

"HE'S LYING!" declared the Undersecretary, still pointing at Fletcher in outrage. Dolores Umbridge was a short squat woman resembling a large pale frog. She had a broad, flabby face, a wide, slack mouth, and nearly non-existent neck. Her eyes were bulging and pouchy, with mousy brown hair adorned with a black velvet bow. She wore a green tweed dress with a pink fuzzy cardigan on top, giving her greater frog-like qualities.

Anne had never seen a human who so closely resembled a member of the frog family. Considering some of the half-breeds she had discovered in the witchery world, and some of the things she had heard stories about in some of the more disreputable pubs, she couldn't help but wonder on the witch's ancestry.

Primarily, how?

Still, that didn't matter. What did matter were her truly offensive personal views of non-pure-bloods that she wanted to force on the witchery world. Views which would block some of the things Anne wanted to pass.

Views, which if enacted into laws, would attract the attention of the ICW . . . and not in a good way. Which was why Department Head Bones was helping Anne, to forestall a Ministry disaster of monumental proportions.

Dumbledore looked down at the witch. "This is the Wizengamot. Silence! Or you will be silenced."

"But that half-blood is spouting lies! I'm a pureblood!" she pronounced imperiously, "I demand he be arrested and sent to Azkaban for slandering a pure-blood!"

Dumbledore tilted his head down to look at her over his spectacles, and raised an eyebrow.

The toadish-witch crossed her arms angrily and sat back down, scowling darkly.

Madam Bones turned back to the prisoner. "Madam Umbridge, the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, is a pure-blood, is she not?"

Continuing in the same monotone, Fletcher said, "Dolores Umbridge is a half-blood."

Anne's research had discovered that Madam Bones had been in the Ministry for several decades, almost as long as Umbridge. Madam Bones had watched and listened as the Dolores had risen in the Ministry after graduating from Hogwarts. The toad-like woman was a nasty person, and had no problems letting those whom she felt were beneath her know how she felt about them. Once she was promoted, she had used her position to take advantage of them. People who wanted to remain on her good side, both inside and outside the Ministry, avoided her whenever possible. That wasn't a guarantee that she wouldn't savage them, anyway, but it did reduce the odds enough to make it a worthwhile effort.

Those that did fall prey to her need to feel superior tended to have terrible things happen to them or they disappeared. In her first days of getting a job at the Ministry complaints had been many, but they rather quickly fell off as she retaliated using underhanded methods.

Umbridge had been extremely careful in covering her tracks, which had made things difficult for the DMLE to rein her in. She used her pure-blood status as a shield to stymie investigations, claiming any accusations were untrue. She sharply criticized both the complaints and the people making them — always those who were beneath her. To her superiors, she was always polite and subservient to a sickening degree. She almost grovelled to stay in their good favour, and rode their coattails as they climbed the Ministry hierarchy. She was not afraid to drop names to halt questions into her conduct. The officials tentatively investigating always had to retreat, until it became well-known to not even try.

While there were rumours that she wasn't a pure-blood, she had been making the claim since she had first started at Hogwarts. Anyone who noted that one of the janitors at the Ministry was named Umbridge soon regretted it.

Bones, and Anne, knew the woman wasn't really a pure-blood, despite the witch's insistence, ever since she started Hogwarts, that she was. All the evidence in the Ministry of her true ancestry had "mysteriously" disappeared or been "lost" as misfiled. The Head of the DMLE knew that nasty things tended to happen to people who asked about Umbridge's, or, as many preferred to call her, Umbitch's parentage. Or anything else about which Umbridge did not like discussing.

This, however, was a golden opportunity to destroy the witch's influence. It was a crime to pretend to be a pure-blood, with a mandatory month-long stay in Azkaban. The issue of bribery was merely a gateway to that goal. The true objective was getting a chance to prove, once and for all, that Umbridge wasn't a pure-blood and didn't deserve the pure-blood protections. In all the other cases, there hadn't been enough credible evidence to support what was about to happen.

It hadn't been difficult to get Bones' cooperation in this endeavour. She had been trying to catch the slippery bigot for years.

The witch wasn't going to win this battle. She was a major blockade to the reforms that Anne wanted in place. She had to be removed. The public discovering the witch was really a half-blood would quickly see her influence erode as pure-blood supporters departed in droves.

Plus, it opened up all the other investigations that had been stopped by her use of the pure-blood defence.

"The prisoner has made an accusation of criminal acts by another person while under veritaserum, as well as called into question their pure-blood status," Madam Bones stated flatly. "That the prisoner believes the accusations to be true cannot be disputed. She must defend her status. Because the accused is present, and the Wizengamot Court is in session, we can summarily deal with the accusation."

Madam Bones turned to two of the aurors in the room, and nodded at the Undersecretary. "Escort the Undersecretary to the 'Accused Chair'." She turned to two others, "Escort Mr. Fletcher to the Holding Room." His case would be finalized later — a mere slap on the wrist for his cooperation in catching a much bigger fish.

By this time, the antidote had been given to the wizard and he was watching with a certain amount of glee.

Soon enough, Umbridge was seated, fuming, arms crossed on her chest in the chair. She was glaring malevolently at Madam Bones in front of her.

She didn't even wait for a question, stating loudly, "I am a pure-blood, and I categorically deny knowing anything about bribery in the Ministry. That spineless thief is lying!" She stared defiantly at the Wizengamot.

Bones nodded genially. "We will know the truth in a moment." She turned to the auror with the vial of veritaserum. "Three drops please."

Umbridge started to jump to her feet, but Madam Bones hadn't officially declared the questioning finished. The chair's magic yanked her arms to its arms, and restraints immediately snapped into place. There were two each over her arms and around her ankles. A fifth restraint tried to snap around her neck, but caught the lower part of her chin on the nearly neckless woman. A last restraint wrapped around her forehead and held her head tight to the chairback.

Despite that, Umbridge managed to yell out in fury, "I'm a pure-blood! You can't do this! Pure-bloods can't be forced to take veritaserum!"

Before she could say more, Madam Bones silenced her. After realizing that she couldn't say anything, the witch glared at the Head DMLE balefully.

Bones just stared at her. "Anyone can claim to be a pure-blood. For the purpose of determining the truth of that claim, though, the Ministry is allowed to administer veritaserum and verify that claim, if it is brought up by a subject under veritaserum in a court case or investigation." She paused and looked around the room. "The only question I am allowed to ask is if either of the accused's parents or any of their grandparents, or great-grandparents are a muggle, a muggle-born, a half-blood, a half-breed, or a cursed being such as a werewolf." She returned her gaze to Umbridge. "If the answer given is 'no,' then the antidote will be applied. The accusation by the Ministry is dismissed with prejudice, and the accused is generously compensated for their treatment."

From the expression on Bones' face, and the way her eyes raked over Umbridge from her shoes to her hair, it was plain that she did not think the answer given would be a 'no.'

"If the answer is 'yes', however, I am allowed to pursue the questioning." Director Bone's expression, while mostly blank, had the hint that she expected to continue her questioning.

The Minister Fudge had turned quite pale and looked close to fainting. This would be a black mark on his administration, if true, everyone knew. All the decisions that she had made, all the new laws or changes she had supported, would have to be reviewed.

Umbridge looked furious and scared.

At Madam Bones' signal, the auror with the vial stepped forward. The chair, reacting to his intent, tilted Umbridge's head back. She stubbornly refused. Sighing, one of the other aurors stepped forward and used magic to make her open her mouth.

Surreptitiously, a third auror, the one behind her chair, cast a confundus on her to help prevent her resisting the potion. He was a friend of Sirius.

Anne did not want this chance to remove the vile witch's influence slipping through her fingers. Later, that auror would receive an owl with a gift certificate to a popular restaurant that he had won in a "raffle."

The frog-witch's face relaxed and her expression became blank. To the observers, it was apparent that the potion had taken effect extremely rapidly. A quick finite silencio allowed Umbridge to once again speak and be heard.

"What is your name?"

"Dolores Umbridge," came the immediate and monotone response typical of people dosed with veritaserum.

Bones nodded. "Miss Dolores Umbridge, you are the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic, are you not?"

"Yes."

"Are either of your parents, or any of your grandparents or great-grandparents, either a muggle, a muggle-born, a half-blood, a half-breed, or a cursed being such as a werewolf?"

Anne Bourchier, and Madam Bones, knew, as a large number of those present suspected, what the answer to that question would be. Those who were suspicious were not disappointed. To most of the pure-bloods, though, it was quite a shock.

Her struggle was obvious as she tried to resist the potion, "N-n-n-n-yes."

Dolores Umbridge then confirmed that she was the first child of a pure-blood wizard, Orford Umbridge. She had blackmailed a clerk in the Records Office to make her file "disappear."

"Which of your parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents were not pure-bloods."

"N-n-n-n-my mother."

"And was she a muggle, a muggle-born, a half-blood, a half-breed, or a cursed being?"

"A muggle."

Further questioning revealed that Orford Umbridge, a pure-blood, was a former janitor in the Ministry. Her mother was Ellen Cracknell, a muggle.

She also admitted that her younger brother was a Squib, and that she despised both him and her mother. She considered both of them to be inferior to her and her father because of their lack of magic.

She explained that when she was fourteen, her mother and brother had returned to the muggle world, never to be heard from again. Umbridge was proud of the fact that she and her father had finally driven the two away. The two muggles hadn't been able to withstand the constant verbal abuse the two had given.

Why Orford and Ellen had married in the first place would forever be a mystery now that both had left England, Anne thought distractedly. But whatever else happened, for falsifying her blood-status so egregiously, Umbridge would immediately lose her position as Senior Undersecretary. Once she finished the mandatory, but short, Azkaban sentence, she would be lucky to get the Ministry job her father had once had.

"The legal definition of bribery is influencing, or attempting to influence, the actions of an individual holding a public office or someone subject to a legal duty, by the offering, giving, soliciting, or receiving of any item of value or favour, either monetary or informational," Madam Bones calmly stated. She paused a moment, then continued, "Have you ever offered, given, solicited, or received any item of value, promised to withhold or release privileged information or a favour, as a means of influencing the actions of a Ministry official?"

Anne could see that she again tried to resist the potion, but failed, giving another, "Yes."

Madam Bones looked around the courtroom. "To save the Court the tedium of listening to a potentially long list of crimes, I would like the Courts permission to continue this interrogation later, and to bring it back to the Court at the next meeting."

"I move we allow Madam Bones to continue the interrogation at another location, and bring the case back later to the Wizengamot at our next session," came the immediate statement from Madam Longbottom.

"Seconded," said Madam Marchbanks.

"What does the Wizengamot say?" asked Dumbledore.

Anne barely concealed her pleasure at seeing a large majority of lit wands lifted.

"Madam Bones, see to your prisoner, and bring us back the results of your interrogation at the next meeting."

Anne sat back and watched as the Wizengamot slowly returned to the normal and boring agenda for the day. It was with no small amount of glee that she watched the shell-shocked, former Senior Undersecretary being escorted out of the room. Minister Fudge hadn't wasted any time in letting everyone know that he hadn't known the witch's perfidy. He had quickly, loudly, and immediately relieved her of the position.

With that obstacle out of the way, her plans for making-over the Ministry into something that approached fairness for the average witch and wizard had taken a great leap forward. It would still take decades, but a few more entrapments would go a long way toward securing that outcome.

Mundungus Fletcher would be well-compensated for his role today; his tabs at various pubs would be paid in full, with a bit extra for credit. That last, he didn't know, yet. Not to mention that Anne could put a wizard of his background and skills to good use in the future, and intended to do so. Competent agents were difficult to find, and she had no intention of allowing this one to wander away.

She would be the power behind the Minister in a few short years. Then she safely could work on making things equal for everypony . . . everyone. Without cutie marks in the way, only a person's true abilities, skill, and knowledge would matter — and she would keep it that way!

۸-_-۸

The April Easter Break could not come quick enough for most of the ponies in Hogwarts.

The Firsties were dying to show off what more they had learned to their families, especially the non-unicorns. Harry was sure the trips home would be marked by smoke-screens, blind-folds, and several other spells shooting from wands all over Equestria. Not to mention that the levitation charm was still a stunner to the ponies who hadn't been at the portal station on either day at Hearth's Warming.

As a result, there was more than one double-take as pegasi and earth colts and fillies headed for the Equestrian train/floo station with their saddlebags floating over their heads, and excitedly demonstrating new spells.

For Harry, his herd-mates, and his friends — the Weasleys were once more vacationing in Equestria — the big news when they arrived was Cranky Doodle Donkey's and Matilda's upcoming wedding. It seemed that that was what most of the old-town residents were talking about, at least.

The first day, the twins met with Filthy Rich to check on their various finances and projects. They would never want for money, that was for sure. That, in turn, meant they could concentrate on going through their studies as fast as possible. They told Harry they wanted to take their O.W.L.s a year early, this year. With Hayscarte's Method, they might even be able to take their N.E.W.T.s two years early, next year. They wouldn't have time to work on their candies and jokes, but graduating early would let them catch back up quickly. Especially as they would have more knowledge of the necessary subjects at their hooftips.

Harry noticed that his mum had decided on locations for the two portraits. One was in the main sitting-room; the other was in the Map Room. Oddly, neither Celestia-painting-pony nor Luna-painting-pony made an appearance. When he asked his mum, she said she suspected that the live Princesses had had their second set of Portraits finished and that both sets of painting versions of the two Princesses were in Canterlot, pranking everypony.

Harry and the rest started exploring how much the town had changed. To everypony's surprise, there were now two Quidditch pitches at the edge of town. One was a major stadium, the other a practice field. Not surprisingly, they saw "The Weasleys' Weird and Wonderful Widgets Stadium" logo emblazoned on the side of that building.

Beside that was another logo, declaring Ponyville as the "Home of the Everfree Flyers."

Naturally, there was a complete joke store built into the ground level. Disappointingly, most of the products were actually imported from the wizarding world. Gambol and Japes and Zonko's Joke Shop's might be old hat to the wizarding public, but to the ponies? Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were almost beside themselves with joy at the wide selection.

Harry was sure that in a few years most of the merchandise would be from creations by the twins.

A separate counter inside catered to the Ginger Gender Gels demand. They had them in hourly, daily, weekly, and monthly options, with several different pre-packaged quantities, including a variety pack. There seemed to be a constant stream of customers at that counter.

For the next three days, in between exploring the changes, the Cutie Mark Crusaders . . . Consultants . . . helped several fillies and colts get their cutie marks.

Then, in the middle of the vacation, a bugbear wandered into town and started to make a fuss. The bugbear seemed to be looking for a particular pony, based on how he scrutinized each one he saw before moving on. No ponies were deliberately hurt.

He seemed to be especially interested in ponies with a beige coat and dark mane. Harry and the others were watching concernedly as Twilight and the other Element Holders immediately started planning to subdue the beast.

"Do we know what they're talking about?" Octavia Melody said, having come up behind Harry. She had a goldish-grey coat with a dark-grey mane and tail with lighter tints running through them. Her cutie mark was a violet-coloured treble clef. She was a cellist who lived in Ponyville but was popular enough to get frequent gigs in Canterlot. She was also wearing a bow-tie that matched her cutie mark in colour.

"I'm pretty sure it's about that monster, there," Sweetie Belle said offering her some popcorn from her oversized bag.

"A monster attack!? Blast! ," Octavia said. "I'm performing at the ceremony this afternoon, and I still haven't sorted out what to play."

"Ceremony? Today?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"Cranky Doodle and Matilda's wedding is this afternoon, not tomorrow. The invitations all went out with the wrong day." She sighed. "How can I practice with a monster invading Ponyville?" she said despairingly.

"Maybe it's just a friendship problem, and it'll all be cleared up in half an hour or so?" suggested Apple Bloom, munching on the popcorn.

"Ahh!" Octavia cried out distractedly, and then dashed off.

Naturally, Matilda showed up moments later, all in a panic. "Ohh!" she said, upset, "Cranky had Derpy Hooves make the invitations, but got the day wrong for the wedding! It's today! I need Pinkie Pie, my wedding planner!"

Which was when she saw Pinkie try to distract the bugbear with a lemon pie to the nose.

"Oh, no! On my wedding day!? Somepony's gotta help me! You!" She suddenly pointed at a light-purple coated mare with a darker purple mane.

"Me?" exclaimed Amethyst Star, looking surprised.

"I need to move an entire wedding from tomorrow to today!"

"But nopony's asked me to organize anything since Twilight came to town."

"So?"

"I used to be the best organizer in all of Ponyville," Amethyst said proudly.

Matilda was not shy about dragging the other pony with her as they left the plaza for the salon, moments later.

Meanwhile, over by one restaurant, a pony was setting up a table and seating to watch the Mane Six deal with yet another monster in Ponyville. A waitress was bringing out orders of popcorn and drinks. Other ponies brought chairs or pillows out of their stores and set up to watch the impromptu entertainment. Most ponies in the plaza and surrounding streets just moved out of the way and went on about their business. The Flower sisters, of course, took one look and dramatically fainted.

The Guards in sight were more concerned with preventing ponies from blocking the streets than anything else. "Nothing to see here," Harry heard one say, waving one foreleg, to small group, "Move along! Nothing to see here!"

Harry noticed two familiar, shifty-looking ponies, both yellow-coated with red and white striped manes and wearing blue-striped shirts. They had set up a small table and were apparently taking bets on how long the bugbear would resist.

Flim and Flam had managed to sneak back into town. Harry shook his head wryly.

The bugbear was putting up a good fight, and was giving Pinkie Pie a head-noogie when things started to go crazy. The first inkling was the music they heard. Something like a wedding march but with a heavy beat.

۸-_-۸