Voices drifted to me through thick fog, muffling some of the words. I was warm, but not uncomfortably so, and things felt…tight? Like my body wasn't my own. Like someone was squeezing me. My left arm felt the tightest. Something was definitely squeezing that.

My throat and mouth felt like a dry boneyard. I tried to swallow, but I couldn't even muster the energy. I was bloody tired. What the hell had I been doing? Had I been on a mission? Shit, was I being interrogated? Or held?

"—brain waves are more active," an accented voice said near me, a rustle of fabric punctuating the sentence. "He might be waking up."

Sounded like a doctor. But it didn't sound like Dr. Grief or Dr. Three. That was enough to settle me for a moment.

"About bloody time," another voice growled low, but something about it made me think it wasn't as angry as it sounded. I hoped not. I didn't think I could deal with anyone yelling at me right now.

"Is he okay?" Yet another voice. Geez, how many people were in this room? They sounded genuinely concerned, though, so at least that was promising.

"He's fine. Like I said, he's a miracle. He should have been dead four days ago, and somehow, he's healing quickly. He—oh, I think he's coming around."

As the mysterious voice said the words, I pried my eyelids open. Unfortunately, I couldn't see much of anything—I could tell I'd been out of it for a long time. Everything was blurred, and colors were bleeding into each other as I flicked my eyes around, too tired to move my head just yet. I stared at a white ceiling, muddled colors in my periphery.

"Jaguar?" A new voice said, and for some reason, I'd been waiting for one more voice, and that was it. It was closer than the rest. "You with us?"

Blinking again, I flicked my eyes in that direction, towards the voice, and squinted at the blurred form beside me.

"Give him a minute," the only unfamiliar voice cautioned, walking around where I lay to look at something else beside me. "He may be a little disoriented."

I was. Very. But as the form cleared and my vision bled into focus, I blinked twice more, and recognized Lion leaning over me. He had dark circles under his eyes, but he was smiling. "Took you long enough."

I blinked again, managing a half-smile. I supposed I'd worried him. That was odd. But not totally unexpected, I supposed.

"He's alive!" I recognized one of the other voices, now Bear's, shout from across the room. I wondered where he was; he sounded kind of far away to be in a chair or something. Maybe he was by the window.

"Good morning, Jaguar," the unfamiliar voice said, and I couldn't quite stop the flinch at the suddenness. Looking up, I saw a middle-aged man with silver hair standing beside a sophisticated monitor, his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. "I'm Dr. Svoboda. How are you feeling?"

"…good," I managed, the word rasped in little more than a whisper.

He smirked, looking unconvinced. "I wouldn't go that far, but you're doing well. Do you know where you are?"

Furrowing my brows, I shook my head. Was I supposed to?

"They airlifted you to a Czech hospital," Tiger provided, and I rolled my head towards him. He was sitting in an armchair beside me, but angled away, towards the window. His feet were propped up on the other bed, which, I belatedly realized, held Bear.

Bear looked fine, hyper as ever, so I assumed he'd begun to shift back into his comedic persona. However, he was still pale, with dark bags under his eyes, and there were bandages around his head and shoulder. I remembered the head wound, but not the shoulder wound.

"Bear…?" I asked quietly, looking intently at the bandage.

Bear blinked at me, and said, "Yeah, I'm here. What's up?"

As much as I could, I nodded towards his shoulder, flicking my eyes to it intently, and then back to his face.

As understanding crossed his eyes, he snorted. "I hate you. You went into septic shock hours before you could get medical help, you were unconscious for three days, and you've just woken up, and you're looking at me like I'm about to keel over. I'm fine, Jag. Bullet clipped me as I was running away, but I'm really just here because I was dehydrated. I won't even need physical therapy for it."

I felt some of the tenseness ease from my shoulders. "Good," I managed.

"You twit. Focus on yourself for a minute," he replied, pointing at the doctor. "The doc is wondering how you're alive."

Confused, I turned my head back to Lion and the doctor. Lion looked like he had finally relaxed, one foot propped on the edge of my bed, his chin resting on his hand as he watched the scene with a smile. He looked tired.

The doctor, however, looked intrigued. "Your friend is right. You're a medical miracle. Most people who come in in your condition require a coffin, and at the very least, an amputation. You're by no means back to full health, but notwithstanding any sudden complications, you should make a full recovery. There may be some lasting effects, I'm afraid, but nothing that should dramatically impact your ability to live a full life."

As he went on, I felt myself begin to relax some, blinking at the ceiling and exhaling in relief. That had been a lot of my fear in that cellar—that they'd have to amputate my arm, or fingers, or that I'd be rescued only to die in the hospital because I couldn't combat the infection.

"We've been keeping you on an antibiotic cocktail and fluids," Dr. Svoboda continued, flipping to another page in his chart. "But I'd like you to try drinking something now, and eating some light foods later this evening or tomorrow, depending on how you're feeling. Do you have any questions so far?"

I glanced at my arm, which was secured tightly to my body in an, immobilizing sling. My bicep, where the cut had occurred, was wrapped completely in white bandages. "How's my arm?"

"Healing well, considering," the doctor admitted. "Bear did well keeping it clean when he could, which probably prevented the infection from worsening. You'll need to be in the sling for at least two weeks, and then you can start building the strength in the limb back up. I'd say two months until you're back to normal for the limb, maybe three months overall. You're in the British SAS?" I nodded, the prospect of months without being able to fully use my body slightly panicking, but more comforting than what I thought I'd hear. "I'll talk to your general physician, or whoever you see on base, but you should be cleared for active duty in late January, if everything goes well."

It was late October now, so…that wasn't a horrible prospect. Not at all, especially considering I'd been on Death's damn welcome mat.

"I'll warn you, it may be hard for you to do things for yourself over the next few weeks," he cautioned, looking serious. "Things like getting out of bed, bathing, going to the bathroom. You'll need help for the first couple weeks. Your body is still fighting the infection, and you're not going to have a lot of energy."

Well. That was going to suck, considering I didn't have anyone who fit that bill. I hoped my face didn't give anything away.

"Besides that…I'm very impressed with your progress. We'll talk about some lasting side effects later, but right now, would one of you mind grabbing him a water bottle from down the hall?"

In the end, Tiger went, claiming he needed to get some coffee, anyways. He steadily denied Bear's request to sneak him a cup, considering he needed to be on a water and sports-drink only diet for the next few days.

Dr. Svoboda left with another nod, and then it was just the four of us.

"Have you been here…the whole time?" I asked dubiously as Lion unscrewed the water bottle.

"Obviously," he answered, scooting his chair up closer to the bed.

"L-Unit rule established long before you were here," Tiger commented. "Nobody's alone in the hospital. And each patient can only have one visitor right now, so we kind of dropped the military card and had them put you in the same room so we could all be together. Less of a mess."

I snorted. "Your soft side is showing."

He flipped me off.

I huffed a laugh, reaching for the water bottle in Lion's hand, but he just raised an eyebrow and looked at me. "Can you even hold this, mate?"

"Yes." Well, I didn't know, honestly, but my answer was confident enough. Even if my shaking hand wanted to prove me wrong.

He sighed. "Jaguar. We all recognize that you're a capable, independent kid. But you need some help right now, just like we all do in time. Do you want me to tell you about the time Tiger fractured his leg and Bear and I had to help him in and out of the tub at our apartment? Because it was a bloody traumatic experience, but I'll give you the highlights, if it'll make you feel better."

"Oh, God, please don't," Bear groaned, scowling. Tiger, in a contrary and uncharacteristic show of embarrassment, blushed crimson, dragging a hand down his face. "I still have nightmares."

"I'm gonna kill all of you gits," Tiger muttered.

I huffed another laugh, the small action tiring me already. "Let me try?"

Lion, in a show of complete lack of faith, put the cap back on before handing me the bottle, probably so I wouldn't spill it all over the place dropping it. Which I did. Damn thing slipped through my fingers even before Lion let go of it.

Bear laughed from across the room. "For the record, I believed in you." With trembling fingers, I flipped him off.

Lion helped me drink about half the bottle, holding it and holding my head steady up off the pillow, before cutting me off. My stomach had been empty for a while, and I needed to take it slow. I tried not to feel completely useless, but there wasn't much I could do; I felt like a bloody invalid, and it was freaking me out. If SCORPIA or MI6 found me like this, what was I going to do?

"You sure you're feeling okay?" Lion asked, putting a hand on my forehead, not unlike Bear. I kind of hated it when they did that. Reminded too much of Jack, of comfort. "You're pale."

I swallowed, shrugging. "Fine. Just…how did everything work out?"

Lion didn't look convinced, but he leaned back, rubbing his eyes. He was looking really tired, actually. "Hollis was safely dropped in Kiev two days ago, half-blind. Nice, by the way."

I wanted to be happy, or at least satisfied, that Sabina's death hadn't gone completely unpunished, but I couldn't bring myself to be when I thought of her dead in California. I settled for deflecting emotion altogether, commenting, "Your jacket needs a new zipper, Bear."

Tiger snorted, and Bear paled for a second, his face displeased. "I'm not saying I'm not happy you got some revenge on that prick, because I am, but it was a nasty sight, mate."

I nodded in agreement. It was indeed. Not nasty enough, though.

"Anyways," Lion said, continuing on, "The French, Czech, and German governments all sent their own troops to escort him and his new friends in a big convoy, but I have a feeling that was his master escape plan. It was nothing short of a damn miracle we got back to you as fast as we did. Bear ran the whole way and passed out right after he made the phone call."

Lion shot him a dark look, which didn't escape my notice. "And then the bloody idiot insisted on coming on the rescue mission, dehydrated and malnourished and shot."

I turned to look at Bear, who was looking properly chastised. "I did promise Jaguar I was coming back. Besides, mate, you didn't look good when I left you. I was bloody worried, sue me."

I recalibrated, realizing he was talking to me. I supposed I hadn't looked great. "I'm okay now," I defended. "And if you hadn't gone, we'd both be dead."

He nodded, looking away, some of his cheer draining from his posture. "Don't…make me do that again. That bloody sucked, leaving someone behind."

I blinked, looking down. "Sorry."

"Nobody's at fault, and nobody has any reason to feel guilty," Lion said, his voice hard. "You did what you needed to to survive, and everyone's here, which is all I care about."

"Code for shut up, you ignorant twits," Tiger muttered, readjusting his feet on Bear's bed. "If Lion won't say it, I will."

Lion smirked. "Thank you, Tiger. Best communications expert for miles."

Tiger flipped him off. This unit really had a thing for that, apparently.

"So, Jaguar," Lion said, and the shift in his tone made me nervous. "Feel up to holding a conversation?"

I blinked, not liking the sound of that. "I thought we already were."

"This one's a little more serious. Do you want to rest up a little more before then? You look tired."

I took the out, nodding as my eyelids drooped. "Yeah."

Lion nodded, smiling. "Get some sleep, then. We'll try to keep it down." He patted my ankle and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. I supposed he needed the rest as much as I did.

Feeling exhausted even after just a few minutes of consciousness, I let myself relax. Quiet whispers assured me that I was safe. Not even…not even just content, or okay, but safe. They weren't leaving, anyways. That was enough to put me at ease.

…

"—not picking up?" I heard Lion's voice as I came back to awareness, sounding agitated. "How many times have you tried?"

There was no response. I assumed, as I fuzzily became more aware, that he was on the phone. I couldn't hear Tiger or Bear.

Lion sighed, big and heavy, sounding utterly done. "I've tried six or seven times myself. They're not going to pick up if they haven't already. Uh-huh. Yes, sir. I'll tell him. Thank you, sir."

I heard a beat of silence, and then he sat heavily in the chair beside the bed.

He didn't seem to be in a good mood. I had half a mind to slip back into sleep to avoid that, but I figured I was only putting off the inevitable. Blinking slowly, I let my eyes adjust to the bright lights, looking over at him. He was scrolling through the phone he'd received for the mission, to communicate with the Sergeant and other teams, looking upset.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly, trying not to startle him. He flinched, not expecting my voice, but looked up anyways, rubbing his eyes.

"What's wrong is you're a puzzle with a lot of missing pieces," he said bluntly, dragging a hand through his hair. "And every time I think I find a piece, I find out I'm missing another one."

I blinked in surprise, not expecting the restrained outburst from him. He was usually calm and collected—I'd expect something like that from Tiger, but not him. "Um…what did I do?"

Lion pinched the bridge of his nose, looking up with a tight expression. "Sorry. I'm not…I'm not mad, really, just frustrated. We'll talk about it when Tiger and Bear are back."

I looked over at Bear's now-empty bed, the chair beside it also vacant of a certain pain in the arse. I supposed I was on some recent pain meds, because the prospect of the conversation was nerve-wracking, but not overly terrifying like it should have been. "Where are they?"

"Bear's being discharged," Lion supplied, glancing toward the door. "They should be back any minute. They just went to get Bear some more clothes and sign some forms."

I nodded. "That's good," I said honestly. I was glad Bear was going to be alright. I glanced at Lion, who nodded absently. "Are you alright? You look exhausted."

Lion blinked heavily, dragging a hand down his face with a wry smile. "That's uncharacteristic of you."

I blinked, realizing he was right. "I'm usually more open on pain meds," I admitted with a scowl, turning away. "Bloody hate them."

Lion snorted. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just tired. I've been a bit worried, you know."

"Why, though?" I asked before I could stop myself. "I get that—that I'm in your unit, and everything, but you shouldn't be running yourself down over me. I haven't known you very long."

Lion took a second, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before shaking his head, a disbelieving scoff leaving his lips. "You know, I really think I'd smack you if you weren't already injured," he said at the end of a long-suffering sigh. "I don't know how many times you need to hear it before it's true, but L-Unit is a dysfunctional family. You're dysfunctional enough by yourself, mate. You fit right in. We're in your corner. We give a shit whether you live or die. How am I doing? I have a couple other variations."

I blinked, trying to follow the words. "Um…fine, I suppose. I just…didn't think things like this…happened this fast." At least they hadn't in my experience. And if they did, it was too good to be true.

He shrugged, looking away. "Relationships aren't all about time, Jaguar. They're also about how much you're willing to give, and entrust." He sent me a pointed look.

"Sorry," I offered, blinking heavily. I wasn't exactly tired, since I'd just woken up, but…everything was heavy. Numb. I supposed that was why nothing hurt, though it should have. "Everything's…complicated."

Lion looked like he was about to reply, but he was cut off by Tiger and Bear re-entering the room, Bear dressed in plainclothes. "Oh, he's awake," Bear said with a grin, patting my shoulder as he sat beside me, Tiger dragging a chair over to do the same. "How are you feeling?"

"Weird," I said honestly, glancing at the fluids bag. "Tired."

"They're got you on the good stuff," Tiger confirmed, propping his feet on my bed and crossing his arms. "Enjoy it while it lasts."

"Ok," I conceded. I glanced back at Lion, waiting for him to continue.

He caught my eye and looked down, rubbing his neck. "I know you're tired, but there are some things we really need to sort out."

I was sure no one failed to notice the beeping of the heart monitor speeding up, but I nodded, nonetheless. It was becoming a bit more frightening now. "Okay. Can I sit up?"

Lion quirked a smile. "Of course. You don't need to ask, Jag."

Huh. I kind of liked Jag. At least, it was the most dignifying nickname they'd given me so far.

I pushed the button on the remote, tilting the bed up so I'd feel somewhat dignified as they grilled me for answers I probably wouldn't be willing to give. Bear, without asking, helped me readjust myself, the action tiring me more than I was comfortable with. I nodded in thanks, feeling my neck heat up in embarrassment. Luckily, no one commented.

"Okay," Lion said, nodding almost to himself as he fished a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. "Ready?"

"There's a list?" I asked nervously, eyeing the scrawled-on paper in his hands.

"Obviously. Every time we thought of a question, it led to another one. And I forget things easily."

Shifting, already feeling uncomfortable, I fiddled with the blanket over my legs, the coarse fabric rough against my dry hands.

"Number one, and currently most important—why the hell can no one get in touch with your emergency contact?" Lion asked, looking frustrated. "Between the Sergeant, the secretary, and myself, we've called thirty times. It keeps saying the line isn't connected."

Oh. Oh, that was…that was going to be hard to explain.

"Um…that's weird," I bullshitted, trying to look genuinely confused. I didn't meet their eyes. There wasn't a thing weird about it, considering the number I'd put was my cell phone that had been disconnected God knows how long ago.

"Who's the contact?" Tiger asked, eyes hard. Damn. None of them were messing around.

"Uh…I think I put my friend Tom…" I lied, conjuring up any excuse I could think of. Come on, I'd literally convinced Herod Sayle, a mastermind, that I was called Alex as a nickname for Felix. Confidence is key. Why was it so hard to lie to them? "He's pretty busy. He lives in Italy. He may have forgotten to let me know he changed his number, or some…thing…"

I trailed off, finally resuming eye contact, to find a myriad of emotions across my unitmates' faces. Bear was looking unconvinced, for one thing, an eyebrow raised in disbelief. Tiger looked…pissed. And Lion…maybe he was the worst, because he just looked disappointed.

And I realized it was so hard to lie to them because…because I didn't want to.

"What's it going to take for you to trust us, just a little?" Lion asked, his face dead serious. He looked disappointed, and upset, and frustrated. "I'm bloody worried about you, Jaguar. You took care of Bear, and made sure he got out of an awful situation, with no regard for your own safety. He told us that Hollis said you asked to be taken instead of him." I glanced at Bear, who was looking away, thoughtful. He looked upset, too. Tiger still looked pissed. Though I assumed that was his default expression.

"That proves to me that you're a good kid. A good man. And I don't know your story, and from what I've seen, it's awful, and I get it if you don't want to tell us everything at once. But I showed you my scars willingly, and that took a lot. I don't show those to just anyone. Tiger told you he was sorry for being an arse, and that he was willing to accept you. Bear told you about Elliot, and I know that was hard for him. And we fought tooth and nail to get back to you, to make sure you made it out of there alive. Bear did it with a bullet wound. Opening up is not supposed to be easy, Jaguar, and we've all done it first, and given you your space. But we've earned something. Trust us."

As he spoke, I found myself unable to look away from him. His voice was impossibly steady, and his eyes were determined, and open. He was leaning forward in his chair, his posture desperate. Kind of like me.

I glanced at Tiger, who, for once, didn't look too mad. He still had the same closed off expression, the same tight posture, but he was looking at me too, and his eyes were in agreement. He nodded, and from another person, it might have been almost reassuring.

I glanced next at Bear, who was looking away, fiddling with the bandages on his hands. I hadn't noticed them before. They were from where he clawed at the dirt. To get himself out. To get me out.

I looked back at Lion, who was still waiting. The heart monitor was beating impossibly fast. They had to notice it—it was the loudest sound in the room. I was terrified, and no matter how well I hid it, it would give me away every time. My hands shook.

I looked down, taking a shaking breath. What would it mean, if I told them? What would that mean about us? That I…that I was finally, finally accepting support? That would be good, wouldn't it? But then, what about what came after? The inevitability of putting them in danger, the legal issues…they didn't know what they were signing up for. They didn't know how dangerous it would be to know everything.

But…but no one said anything about telling them everything. Maybe. Maybe a little bit would be okay.

With my good arm, I pinched the bridge of my nose, taking another shaky breath. "It's…it's my old cell number. There's no contact."

The sentence lay thick in the air, and I was just as surprised as them that I'd made myself say it. I kept going, not letting myself think, or consider, or hypothesize. There was no after. There were no consequences. There were only the words, and all I had to do was say them. I wouldn't look at them—I could almost convince myself no one was hearing them. No harm done.

"I do…I do have a friend named Tom, and he does live in Italy. But…but we haven't spoken in almost two years, and I don't…I honestly don't know if his number is the same. I'm not sure if I remember it, anyways. And…and that's really it. There's no other contact."

There. I'd said it. I was bloody well and truly alone, and I'd admitted it.

There was a pregnant silence for a moment, and I wasn't sure I wouldn't cause the heart monitor to overload and crash, because my pulse was racing. That couldn't have been good for my overtaxed body. I was exhausted. But I could also feel the adrenaline running through my veins, unable to make myself look up.

"Thank you," Lion said quietly. "For trusting us with that."

Lion was so weird. He sounded more like a counselor than a hardened British SAS soldier. But it was what I needed, and maybe he knew that. I nodded, not looking up.

"Do you want to take a minute?" Bear asked, glancing nervously at the heart monitor. "Before we go on."

I shook my head, running a hand through my hair. It was greasy. I needed to wash it. I wondered how pathetic I must have looked, small and pale in this stupid hospital bed with a million wires, refusing to look at them as I slowly and painfully chipped away at the careful walls I'd taken months to construct. "Just…get on with it."

"Let me know if you want to stop," Lion said carefully, leaning back. He looked different. Maybe he'd assumed I was just being a little shit for the fun of it (because even I would admit that I could be one hell of a little shit). Maybe he hadn't considered that my entire life was in my duffle bag at the SAS barracks. "What about your parents? The Sergeant said they're on file.

I flinched, looking past Bear towards the window. It was cloudy outside. Looked like it was going to rain. "I don't know if…um…"

I took a shivering breath, feeling so, so tired. "Can I…detour?"

Lion nodded, looking even more concerned than when we started. "Sure."

"I'm…Tiger, do you…do you remember when you asked me why I…came to the SAS? To serve my country or to die?"

Tiger tilted his head, looking a lot more serious than I'd ever seen. He didn't look angry in the slightest. Just curious, and…maybe worried. Maybe. That was a stretch. "Yeah. I do."

I nodded, glancing at Bear, then at Lion, gaging their reactions. This was so much harder than I thought it would be. I was never, ever supposed to utter these words. To anyone. "I'm…neither. It's neither. I…I needed a place to hide, for a couple years. Just until…I could figure things out."

I kept going before anyone could stop me, desperate to get the words off my shoulders. The world off my shoulders. I wanted someone else to know what I was so terrified of, so I didn't have to carry it alone. I was breaking apart under all the weight, and I finally had someone willing to take some of it. I hoped. I prayed, I begged every deity in existence that I wasn't making a mistake.

"There are people after me," I admitted quietly, fisting the blanket in my good hand. "Really bad people. Really horrible people with a lot of power and influence and resources." I didn't have to specify. It was MI6 and SCORPIA. It felt like the whole world was chasing me. "They're a lot of…why I…you know, look the way I do. The…the scars. And I knew that…that in the SAS, I'd be…doing some good while I was hiding. Maybe helping to save people, and making the world better. But it was also…off the grid, and covert, so really private, and…and I wanted…"

I paused, taking a shuddering breath. I had to force myself not to look at them. I wouldn't be able to keep going if I did. "I don't have anybody," I admitted, shaking my head as my voice cracked despite myself, clearing my throat. I felt heat flood my cheeks and neck, but I was already too far in to turn back. I had to finish at least this much. "I don't have anybody, and…I've seen the SAS work before, and…I wanted…that. To have someone, even if I didn't want to…you know, become friends with you. A unit. But…" I shrugged, giving them a little half-smile despite myself. "I suppose…I botched that, too.

"But…but I knew that…that when I joined, it would need to be in a way that I wouldn't be…found. By the people after me. So…a lot of my file is…white lies, or just fake. My real parents are dead. And I know, I know that's probably really illegal, and I'm really sorry, but I didn't think…I didn't think I'd be safe if I joined under my real information. And it wasn't to…I'm not a spy, or anything, it wasn't to deceive anybody. I just…I can't go back there. I can't let them find me. I really, really can't."

The quiet admission hung heavy. I didn't think they knew what to say—most people wouldn't, after such a confession. After the final word left me, I felt…I felt lighter, but also so anxious. I'd revealed it, the main thing I'd been hiding, that I…that my very presence was a fraud. That I was exactly what Tiger had accused me of being—a kid in over his head. I was so afraid that I'd lose this fragile bond of trust we'd somehow created. That they'd sell me out, and I'd have to leave again. Start over somewhere else. Or, that I'd trusted the wrong people, and in a day I would be in Royal and General in a cell, or interrogation room, or in SCORPIA's lair, or dead.

The silence lasted a long time, comparatively. Several seconds of utter silence, and in that whole time, I couldn't look at any of them. I couldn't make myself look at their reactions. I was too terrified I'd find anger, rejection, resentment. Fear. Distrust.

"I'm…I'm really sorry, Jaguar," Bear said quietly, on my left. The voice was sudden, and I flinched despite myself, the blanket still fisted in my hand.

Nevertheless, that wasn't what I'd been expecting. I'd expected accusations and a call to the Sergeant, and an immediate discharge. I'd expected abandonment, and anger. Not…not an apology.

"Why?" I asked, finally making myself look at him. I could deal with him. He was the easiest to read. I couldn't deal with Tiger or Lion just yet, but I could deal with Bear. He looked…nothing like I'd expected. He looked really upset. Sad. "You don't…you don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Yeah, but…we pushed you into talking about it, because we honestly thought…we thought it was something silly, or you were embarrassed." Bear shook his head, running a hand through his coarse dark hair. "We knew it was probably serious, but we didn't think it was…it was this serious. This bad. And we pushed you into talking when you clearly weren't ready, and I'm sorry."

His eyes were serious, and sincere. He…he was actually sorry. After I'd admitted to lying to him, deceiving him, and the entirety of the SAS, he was apologizing.

"I'm the one who should be sorry," I argued, leaning back against the bed, exhausted. This was a lot more draining than I'd anticipated. "I lied to you."

"Yeah," Tiger said, and I didn't want to look at him. He must have realized that. "Look at me." After a second of hesitation, I did, trying to school my features. "You had a bloody good reason. We're not mad, idiot." He voice was gruff, as usual, but he didn't look angry. I took a deep breath, trying to keep the panic at bay. Trying to convince myself that, so far, they hadn't given me a reason to panic. "Bear's right. I'm not going to be as wishy-washy as him about it, but he's right. That was a lot of shit to unload, and we probably didn't go about it as smoothly as we could have. But you said it anyways, so…good on you."

I half-smiled at his awkward attempt at an apology / compliment, somewhat at ease by his unflinchingly hard personality. "Thanks."

He nodded, glancing away, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Jag," Lion said quietly. I really didn't want to look at him. He was someone I'd found myself looking up to this past month—he was always such a steady presence, and I didn't want to see that disappointed look again. "C'mon. I'm not mad."

I glanced at him. He looked serious, as well, his posture intent and his gaze focused. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled slowly, looking down. "They're both right. That was too much, especially in your state. I'm sorry. And…and thank you, for telling us all that. I know that was probably hard."

I nodded, panic clenching in my gut. "It was. It was…really hard. And it's really, really important that…that nobody finds out. Any of that." My tone, despite my best efforts to remain neutral and steady, was tinged with desperation. "I know that's probably going to be…hard, but…"

"Stop," Lion said, holding up a hand. He rubbed his eyes again, leaning back. "Don't do that. Don't doubt yourself, or us. We asked you to trust us. Granted, we didn't know it was going to be something this big, but we're a unit. We have each other's backs. All of this is safe with us." He smiled, and for the first time since I woke up, he looked happy. Not too tired, not upset. "I'm proud of you, kid. That took a lot of guts."

I breathed a laugh, looking down. "I…I didn't think it would go over this well."

"We're not monsters," Bear said with a smile, bumping my shoulder. "We're friends. And you can't even deny it anymore. You admitted it."

I laughed in full then, the action exhausting, but comforting. "I think that got lost in translation. Friends is a little off." I'd admitted to being a unit, yeah. Friends was still kind of a lot.

And then the world came to a halt.

"Did you mean brother?" Tiger asked, and I faltered, glancing at him. He had quirked a smile, eyebrow raised in a challenge. "Because like I'm sure you've noticed, we're a pretty dysfunctional family. I don't know if you can handle it."

"He's not wrong," Lion confirmed, grinning. "I'm not sure you're ready for all this."

I thought, for a cruel moment, they were joking, and I was...hurt, honestly. And then I looked at them.

Oh. They were serious. They really…they were really offering that.

"At least I'm not the baby anymore," Bear commented. "That bloody sucks. Jaguar, your turn. Thank you for taking the title from me. I don't want it anymore. You can have it."

They were…actually offering that.

"But I lied to you," I argued, not quite sure I deserved that after everything I'd dished out to them. My voice was rising despite myself. "I lied to you, and everyone. You don't even know my name. How can—I—"

"Then what's your name?" Lion asked, still smiling calmly. Encouragingly. "I told you before. We've whole-heartedly accepted you, as a member of the unit and the family, and there's nothing you can do about it. And by the way, I'm Danny. Danny Walker."

"Henry Johnson," Bear said, flashing a peace sign. He was ridiculous. It was enough to draw a little laugh from me.

"Oh, this is ridiculous," Tiger griped, but sat up, nonetheless. "I'm Sam Okinawa. Yes, I realize I have a weird name. No, you're not allowed to make fun of it."

I snorted, looking at the three of them. And I realized no matter how much I argued…they probably weren't going to listen to me. They seemed to have gone and decided a lot of things without me, and…I wasn't totally unhappy with that.

"I haven't told you everything," I admitted softly. "Is that…okay?" My age. I hadn't told them my age, and I didn't plan on it, because that definitelywo uldn't go over well.

"Yes," Tiger said, sarcasm at a minimum. "You've shared plenty today, kid. Your name's more than enough to keep us satisfied."

"And you won't tell anyone?"

"No," Lion said seriously. "Not even the Sergeant. It's safe here."

And I believed him. I believed all of them. I really did. I knew, with my luck, it would come back to bite me in the arse. My presence would catch up to them, just like it had with every other person I'd grown to care for. They'd get hurt. Maybe worse. I knew it was probably a bad, bad idea.

But I was selfish. I…I missed being Alex. Matthew was fine, but I missed being Alex. I missed being me. Being…someone I knew.

I was selfish. I figured, once in a while, I could be selfish.

After a long pause, I smiled at the blanket in my hand, finally relaxing my fist. "I'm…I'm Alex," I said quietly. "Alex Rider."

It felt like the weight of the world fell from my shoulders, and for the first time in seven months, I could finally breathe.

A/N: Tears. I am crying tears. I love L-Unit with my entire, entire heart. They're so good to my boy.

Okay, please let me know what you thought of this chapter, even if you don't normally review. I tried to make the revelations 1) believable and realistic, 2) not cliché, 3) well-paced, and 4) not out of character, but I was also in the mindset of "holy crap I have given them five chapters of absolutely nothing but angst I HAVE to resolve some of this" and then this monster was born and I want to know if people thought it was okay or just kind of my word-vomit so I know what to edit please and thank you…

Also, I do have a question: I have several ideas, and I'm not sure all of them will kind of FIT into one "story." Like, I have the plan of doing 50 chapters for this arc, and then I have tentative ideas for more arcs. I have lots of ideas. So…in your opinion, should I do one story, just realllllly long, or multiple stories according to the arcs? Let me know! Thanks!

ANYWAYS! AHHHHHHHHH I'm blown away by the support guys thank you so much! To all my followers and favoriters, you make my day! And to all those who left reviews, OnlyABookworm, Verdantia Akalixi, Raalina, Guest, ProcrastinationAndCoffee, hunterjk123, Riderkitty, rolltide7, LoveRider, otterpineapple06, Asilrettor, Leticia99, KMER79, Sakshi06, and Guest!

Guest (I love this story): Thank you so much!

LoveRider: I KNOW he's so awful we hate him, and THANKS!

Guest (Great chapter!...): Thanks so much! I think that'll be next chapter XD

Guest (Ich bin so froh…): Vielen Danke! Ich bin so froh, dass du die Geschichte geniegeniest! Haha danke, dass du mich über die Grenzen informiert hast, ich wusste es nicht! Auch war er nur von der Zeitumstellung überrascht, weil er irgendwie aus ihr heraus war. Sie haben Recht, er würde völlig wissen, es XD Danke so viel für so eine tolle Bewertung, und für das Lesen! Entschuldigung über fehlerbegabte Fehler, ich verwende Google Translate

Thank you all SO much for all your continued support. I'm so glad you're all enjoying this story, and there is a lot more to come :)