Ding.

Ding. Ding.

Ding.

I opened my eyes reluctantly, gentle sunlight easing in through the window to spill across the floor at the foot of the bed. It couldn't have been more than nine in the morning.

Eyes still closed, I fumbled for my phone on the nightstand, nearly knocking it off before I finally grabbed it. Lion's hoodie was ridiculously big, and trying to grab the phone through the giant sleeves was tricky. I blinked several times until the words were discernable, seeing, unsurprisingly, a multitude of texts from Tom.

Al

Alex

Rhea asked me out

I TOLD U

I smirked, letting my eyes fall shut again, sleep still fervently warring with the sunlight and my slowly building consciousness. Tom was ridiculous. I was glad that he was texting me like before, though. It was like a slice of before had been dropped into this part of my life, and it was refreshing.

Good for you, mate, I typed out, chuckling to myself. Don't go to laser tag on your first date. That's how you scared Celeste off.

I closed my eyes, almost drifting off before it dinged again, resignedly checking his message.

damn ur right. dinner or gelato?

Gelato, I recommended. Then maybe a park.

His reply was almost immediate. nice. simple. i like it.

No wonder your marks are where they are, you can't capitalize. I smirked as I sent that. Pay attention in class.

I could imagine his scowl, and I smiled as he replied with a flat face. Yes, mum.

Well, that was progress. He capitalized yes.

I let an arm fall over my eyes, breathing deeply and relishing the peaceful haze of early morning sleepiness. For a while at the Pleasures', constantly on the run, and even at the SAS in the beginning, this haze had been a dangerous place—sleep was necessary, but dangerous, and wakefulness was immediate. I had to be on my guard all the time, or I risked losing what I had—in materials, or my life.

Now, I was able to let myself linger in the comfort of sleep under the knowledge that I was safe, with people who cared about me and would have my back if I needed them. I smiled to myself, rubbing my eyes. I may as well get up.

It had been a couple days since we'd been shopping, and I was trying to make myself take my weight every morning. Between now and the hospital a month ago, I'd actually lost weight—52.5 kilos. Now that I was looking for it, I could see the sloping sides of my stomach that caved slightly in, the defined ridges of my ribs.

I supposed it wasn't entirely my fault. I'd lost weight in the hospital, then I was sure I'd gained some back, but…well, then everything happened, and I was sure I'd lost some again. Still, I supposed I needed to be a little more intentional about eating.

I scowled. That probably meant less coffee, which was going to suck.

I debated on telling Tiger or not; he'd seemed concerned, but I knew he wouldn't push me on it if I decided not to tell him. I supposed I'd tell him if he asked. Knowing him, he'd ply me with scones until I was as round as Smithers. Well, as round as I'd thought he was.

The thought brought a smile to my lips. I knew Smithers had probably disappeared from MI6, as well, but I wondered how he was doing now. He'd really surprised me with the fat suit; who knew what other tricks he had up his sleeve.

I looked at my crutch, but I'd actually done really well with Bear and Snake yesterday, during the stretching; I supposed I could try walking around without it today. It wasn't like I'd be going far.

Bear was in the kitchen when I walked in, scrambling some eggs. He glanced back as I entered, steadying myself on the doorjamb. "Where's your crutch?"

I smirked. Predictable Bear. "I felt good today. Wanted to try walking around without it."

Bear looked a little concerned, but turned back to his eggs. "How's it feeling?"

I winced as I lowered myself into one of the chairs, rubbing the muscle around the still-bandaged wound. "Okay. It hurts, especially without the crutch, but I can tell it's getting better."

Bear hummed in acknowledgement, shimmying the frying pan. "Get your crutch when you need it, yeah?"

I felt my shoulders tense the slightest bit, my eyes narrowing in confusion. "You're…quiet."

Bear blinked, glancing back at me. He seemed a little startled. "Ah. Yeah, sorry, mate. I'm thinking."

"Oh. Is everything okay?"

Bear shrugged, plating the eggs with a final hiss of the pan, running the water over it to cool it down. Steam billowed up from the sizzling metal. Bear still seemed thoughtful. "I think so. Sarge called Lion in for a meeting; he's on his way to Wales now with Tiger."

I blinked. Of all the things he could've said, I hadn't expected that. "What's the matter? Why didn't we go with them?"

"You didn't go because you're still recovering, idiot," he said, seeming a little more like himself as he handed me the cereal he knew I liked, doubling back for a bowl. "I didn't go because we couldn't very well leave you on your own, with your track record."

I wasn't expecting that. I busied myself with the cereal. "Oh. I'm sorry."

"No, that's not how I meant it, mate. I'm joking."

"I know," I conceded, pouring in a considerable quantity of milk, mixing the cereal until it was more mush than anything. "I'm still sorry."

"Well, quit it." A pause. "I guess we have the house to ourselves today. Anything you've been wanting or meaning to do?"

I tilted my head in consideration. There wasn't much I'd been particularly wanting to do; I was too content to jinx my situation with anything big. "Not really. I was just going to read one of the books I got, I think. What about you?"

Bear stretched, looking thoughtful. "Your bruises are mostly healed by now. D'you want to come to the youth center with me?"

I glanced up, my spoon comically frozen halfway to my mouth. "Huh?"

He smirked, lowering his arms and finishing his eggs, starting on two pieces of slightly burnt toast. "The kids would like you. You're only a little older than them." Great, that meant I was the same age. Brilliant. "And they're always looking for uni-aged mentors. It's not a commitment, or anything, but you can come and see how you like it."

I paused, a little caught off guard. "I-I mean…what do you do?"

He shrugged. "Mostly help with homework. A lot of the kids there during school hours have behavior problems, so they've been deemed to disruptive to remain in their regular classrooms. Instead they bring in volunteers to tutor them in their coursework. On weekends and afternoons, we mostly do team sports and exercises to help manage behavior and build character, that kind of thing."

I furrowed my eyebrows at that, glancing away. "I'm not sure if I'm the best person for that."

"You kidding? I think you'd be great," Bear said without hesitation, incredulity coloring his voice. "You were awesome with Jonah. I think you'd be really good at forming relationships with the younger kids, especially a couple who are kind of hard to reach. Wanna give it a shot?"

I tapped my fingers nervously on the table, my soggy cereal forgotten. It was that or spend the whole day here alone, which sounded the slightest bit suckier. "You sure it would be okay?"

"Of course, mate. We'll leave in an hour, if that's alright."

Hesitantly, I nodded. I supposed it couldn't be that bad. I doubted any of the kids from Brookland, which was a fairly posh school, would end up at a youth center in Cookham for behavior problems, so the risk was low. "Yeah, that…that sounds okay."

"Oi." I glanced up at his voice; he was smiling, patient eyes alight in humor. "If you get uncomfortable, just tell me, and we'll leave, alright? But I think you're going to have a good time."

I sighed in acceptance, taking another bite of cereal. "Okay."

Well, it would be entertaining, if nothing else.

…

Bear made me take my crutch, even though I insisted that I was fine. It was frustrating, but I was realistic enough to admit that yes, I'd probably need it at some point.

"We won't stay all day," Bear reassured as we made the drive, about thirty minutes east of Cookham. Tiger and Lion had taken Lion's car, so we took Tiger's. "Maybe a few hours. I'm working with this kid, Abram, on an English assignment due tomorrow, so I promised I'd come on. Plus, some of the older kids are going to want to play basketball. They're all betting on who will beat me first, since I'm so tall," he said with a wink, and I had to laugh at that.

"Anyone had any luck so far?" I asked, curious.

"Not yet," he said with a laugh, looking excited. I was glad; I was always glad to see any of them excited. "Campbell's come close. She's almost as light on her feet as you are."

I smirked, looking out the window. It was a rainy day; I was glad I'd grabbed my windbreaker. I'd managed to stitch up the arm on the sleeve where I'd been cut on the train, so it was usable, now. "When I'm better, I'll have to give it a shot."

"I thought you were a footie geek?"

I shrugged. "I dabbled."

He laughed. "Well, they'll be really pissed if you beat me before any of them do, but go for it."

The rest of the drive was made in easy silence before we pulled up to the youth center. It was a fairly large complex with brick walls and a patchwork roof, tin sheets covering some of the spaces with, I assumed, rotting wood or leaks. Double doors with rust-colored paint led into a wide space with four basketball courts; two of them were taken over by a dozen or so circular tables. Kids were dispersed around the room, older adults bent over to help kids with their work, a couple observing and talking off to the side.

"Henry!" I heard a call, and I blinked as this was followed by a dozen turned heads and grins that could lit up the room.

"Hey," Bear called, grinning himself, and though he was usually very happy and humorous with the rest of us, the look of unabashed fondness in his eyes as he greeted the teenagers and kids that approached him was stupidly happy. "Why are you acting like you haven't seen me in a month? I was hear a couple days ago!"

"Mate, we never know with you," one of the older kids said—probably around my (real) age, with dark skin and bright eyes. "You could disappear on one of your top-secret missions again."

"You know me, I'm James Bond," Bear laughed, and I had to smile as I watched him interact with the kids, leaning on my crutch as I waited to be introduced. Bear seemed to remember I was there, and I felt the eyes of a dozen kids slide to me, going for a disarming smile as I waved. "This is my friend, Matthew. He's going to be helping out today."

Oh. Thank God he'd remembered that. Even I'd forgotten, for a while, that I was still supposed to be Matthew. "Hullo."

"Sup, mate," a couple said, and I got some smiles. A couple of them were a little guarded, but I could understand that better than anyone. "How do you know Henry?"

"We work together," I said vaguely, glancing at Bear for guidance. I didn't know how much he'd shared about his life, and I didn't want to overstep.

"Yeah, he's in my unit," Bear said, dropping an arm around my shoulders. I hid the flinch in a shift; it wasn't that Bear made me uncomfortable, just that I hadn't fully expected it. "He's a troublemaker, so he'll fit right in with you."

"You don't look old enough to be in the SAS," a girl said questioningly. She had strawberry blond hair and pale skin, with an American accent.

"I didn't do well in school, and I didn't want to suffer through uni," I responded, sticking to the story I'd given the others. "That's why you guys need to do well in school, so you don't end up like us."

That got some laughs, which put me a little more at ease. "Damn, mate," Bear said, a look of mock offense on his face. "Don't lump me in with you."

I grinned, laughing a little until one of the women who had been observing came over, a look of fond exasperation in her eyes. "Okay, okay, quit crowding them. Get back to work, you lot."

I heard some groans, some complaints, but for the most part, the kids obediently returned to their tasks, and the woman came over to greet us. "Hi, Henry. How are you?"

"I'm good. This is Matthew; he offered to come help tutor some of the younger kids today," Bear said, patting my shoulder. "Matthew, this is Bella. She helps manage who the volunteers get paired with."

"Pleasure," I said, smiling as she shook my hand.

"Pleasure's all mine. I'm glad to meet you; Henry usually doesn't bring people round."

"God, you make my sound like a hermit," Bear complained. "I'm going to help Abram. I think he'd do well with Jessamine."

Bella's eyebrow quirked up in surprise. "Really? On his first day?"

"Call it intuition," he shouted, giving me a wink and a wave before he went over to the dark-skinned boy from before; I assumed that was Abram.

I glanced back Bella, a question in my eyes. "Jessamine?"

Bella looked reluctant, but she shrugged, nodding behind me. I turned to see a little girl at the far back table, somewhat isolated from the others. Her skin tone may've been Indian in origin, but her name made me think she'd been here for a while, or her parents had; I supposed I wouldn't know until I met her. She had dark eyes, in more than one sense, and a little scowl. Her hands thumped repeatedly on the table in a nonsensical rhythm, and a pencil and some papers lay to the side, forgotten.

"We think she has a mild intellectual disability, or some kind of learning disability, but she hasn't been tested yet," Bella said, her eyes drawn in concern. "She doesn't talk, but it's not because of anything medical; they call it selective mutism. None of the volunteers have been able to get through to her. I guess if Henry thinks you can, go for it, but let me know if you'd like to take a break."

I nodded, a little upset, but unwilling to show it. "Thank you."

I hobbled my way over to Jessamine. I didn't think it was particularly fair that Bella highlighted her faults before anything else; that would just deter new volunteers. I sighed a little. I supposed I didn't know much about it, anyways, but I still thought there were better ways to introduce her.

"Hi," I said as I sat next to her. She glanced up as I tried to hide the wince as my leg twinged, her lips pursed. "I'm Matthew."

She didn't respond, just thumped her fingers on the table. Now that I was closer, it seemed closer to a drumbeat than a nonsensical rhythmic pattern. "Your name's Jessamine, right?"

Still no response, but a little pause in the drumbeats. I saw her eye twitch at her name.

"Hm," I said to myself. I glanced at her pages, seeing a science worksheet. Well, I wasn't horrible at science. It wasn't my favorite, though; it seemed like basic enough geology. "What are you working on?"

More tapping. I sighed.

"Do you want me to talk, then, and you can listen?" That made her pause. She looked up at me, and for a second, ceased the tapping. "Is that a yes?"

After a hesitant second, she nodded once, putting her hands in her lap. Well, I considered that progress. "How about I ask yes or no questions, and you can nod or shake your head. Is that okay?"

Another hesitant nod. I smiled.

"That's really good, Jessamine," I said, and I saw her eye twitch again, her stormy gaze returning. She lifted her hands, I assumed to tap again, but I asked quickly, "Do you not like to be called Jessamine?"

She glanced at me, surprise in her eyes. It took her a full twenty seconds before she could shake her head.

I felt my eyes furrow in concern. She was skittish. I should know. "Okay. Can you tell me what you want me to call you?"

That seemed to make her uncomfortable. She shifted, and for a second, there was fear in her eyes. She shook her head.

I was feeling more concerned, now, but I didn't want to mess up the little progress we'd made. "Okay, that's fine. Could I call you Jessie? Or Jess?"

She tiled her head, as though considering, and tapped once on the table. I took me a second to get it, so she did it again, on the verge of looking frustrated. "So…the first one? Jessie?"

She nodded, a shadow of a smile replacing her scowl, and I grinned. "That's great. It's nice to meet you, Jessie. I'm Matthew."

She smiled at that, brighter than before, and I saw a spark of interest in her eyes.

I put the sheets aside for now, figuring there were more pressing matters at hand. "What were you tapping before?" She shrugged, looking flustered, and I mentally kicked myself, reminding myself that they had to be yes or no questions. "Sorry, my mistake. Is it random, or is it like the beat in music?"

That piqued Jessie's interest, and she started tapping again. I thought I'd lost her for a moment, but upon listening, she was actually tapping a fairly complicated rhythm with both her hands—something like some of the alternative music I listened to.

I grinned, listening to her tap away. That was some fairly advanced skill for someone her age—she couldn't be anymore than nine. "That's really good, Jessie. Do you like music?"

She nodded, beaming, and it looked like a completely different little girl than the one I'd seen before. I smiled, and grabbed one of her sheets, flipping over to the blank side. "Do you like to play any other musical instruments? Or do you just like drumming with your fingers?"

She considered, then tapped once for the first one, her brown eyes thoughtful. I took a few seconds to jot down some musical instruments I could think of, then slid the paper to her. "Do you want to circle which one?"

She took the pencil from my outstretched hand, pausing to look at my knuckles. The bruises were mostly gone, but I still had some green and yellow shading on my knuckles. She surprised me by putting the pencil down and taking my hand in both of hers, looking intently at the bruises.

"Jessie?" I asked quietly. I didn't like the look in her eyes. She looked like I did when I looked in the mirror on bad days—a spark of fear in her eyes. "Is something wrong?"

After a couple seconds, she let go of my hand, then looked at my crutch, her eyes narrowed. Then, she picked up the pencil and started looking at the list without making any other indication that she was interested in my injuries.

I'd have to remember all this for later.

She circled singing, ironically, then slid the paper back to me. "Wow, you like to sing?" She nodded, a remnant of the smile from before on her face. "Me too. I'm not very good, though." She giggled, and it was the first time I'd heard even a sliver of her voice. It sounded healthy—I didn't think there was a physical reason she couldn't talk, like Bella was saying.

I had an idea; I was glad I'd brought my headphones. I fished them out of my pocket, plugging them into my phone. "I know you probably don't want to sing right now, but do you want to listen to some music? You can tap along to it, if you want."

Her eyes lit up, and she nodded so hard I thought her head would pop off. I laughed, handing her an earbud and putting one in my own ear, scrolling through my music until I found a song clean enough for a nine-year-old; I settled on Best Day of My Life by American Authors.

The reaction was immediate. She started drumming along with scary accuracy, closing her eyes and nodding her head, a grin on her lips. I let myself relax, too, tapping the foot on my good leg along to the rhythm. We got some odd looks, and a worried glance from Bella, but I caught Bear's eye and saw him smiling. I told you so, he mouthed, and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

The song finished a couple minutes later, but Jessie kept drumming, looking far too happy with just the one song. "Do you want to listen to another one?" She nodded, grinning. "Then can we work on some of your assignments?" She made a face, and I laughed. That seemed to surprise her, but she nodded anyways.

We listened to Radioactive by Imagine Dragons next, and then, just because she looked so damn happy and I wanted to keep that grin on her face for as long as I could, we listened to Atlas by Coldplay, which she really seemed to enjoy.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" I said, wrapping my headphones around the phone and putting it back in my pocket, laughing as she nodded. "Okay. You promised we could work on your assignments now, okay?"

She scowled again, but I gave her what I hoped was a patient smile and flipped the first sheet over. Studying a diagram of an ecosystem with accompanying labels.

It took us well over an hour to complete the worksheet with our minimal communication, and I had to remind myself multiple times that patience was key, but she seemed to open up a little more the further along we got. She seemed especially excited when she started getting things right.

I didn't know how Bella or anyone else could think she had an intellectual disability; I wasn't very knowledgeable on them, but she seemed quite smart. She just had a different way of communicating, and different priorities; I had a feeling music was her favorite thing to do, but I didn't see any musical instruments around. I supposed they didn't have the funding.

"High five, Jessie," I said as we finally completed the worksheet. She grinned and slapped my hand, and I had to hide a wince as my wrist jolted in pain; I'd forgotten about that. Luckily, she didn't see. "You did a good job. You're pretty smart."

She giggled again, and I was glad to hear her voice.

"Do you want to listen to another song before we start something else?"

It went like that, and we quickly fell into a routine—we'd finish an assignment, listen to a song, and repeat. We'd take a break and listen to another song if she got particularly frustrated with something, which seemed to calm her down, and then we'd move on; usually her clearer head helped her answer right away. She really was very smart.

Bella called a break for lunch a little while later, and a bunch of kids swarmed the table on the far side, piled high with sandwiches and bags of chips and fruit.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" I asked when she didn't get up.

She tiled her head, nodding thoughtfully, but she still didn't make a move to get up. She eyed me with something like hesitation. I wondered what she was waiting for. It took me a minute to phrase the question.

"Are you hungry?" Nod. "Do you want to go eat?" Another hesitant nod, but she still didn't move.

I tapped my fingers on the table, not unlike her, and tilted my head. She was suddenly quiet like before, sullen and staring at the table, her feet twitching arrhythmically her.

"You can go get something to eat, if you want," I said finally, wondering if she was waiting for me to go with her. "I'll wait here."

She glanced up at that and smiled, but it was more reserved than before. More hesitant. Jessie got up and ran over to the table, getting in line behind a couple older girls. One of them patted her head, and she looked up with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"How are you doing?" I heard Bella's voice behind me, and saw her approaching with Bear. Her eyes were concerned.

"We're fine," I said honestly, then handed her the four completed assignments we'd worked on. I didn't miss her look of blatant surprise, but I continued on, pretending I had. "I don't think she has an intellectual disability. In fact, she's really smart. I don't remember what else you said—learning disability, or something—but I really think she just has trouble communicating. She really likes music, so when she gets frustrated, we stop and listen to a song. And the tapping isn't random; she's playing the drums. Also, she likes Jessie better than Jessamine."

I thought Bella's jaw may have dislocated.

"Told you," Bear said, tousling my hair and dropping a sandwich and an apple in front of me. "He's good with kids."

"Wow," Bella said, and I looked down, uncomfortable with the attention. "I guess you were right. Well…thank you, Matthew. I was really worried we were going to have to send her to a specialist."

"No, she just likes yes and no questions," I said, glancing in Jessie's direction. "She also does better with multiple choice than fill in the blank, and she does better if you analogize things to music. That's how we finished her ecosystems page."

I glanced back up to see Bella scribbling notes on her sheet, glancing at Jessie every once in a while. "That's…no one thought of that. Thank you. We'll try to incorporate more music into her lessons going forward."

I smiled, glad that they'd try to help her with what she knew. "Good."

"Has she spoken yet?" Bella asked, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"No, but I think we're getting close," I admitted. "She laughed a couple times."

"Well, keep doing whatever you're doing," Bear said, patting my shoulder with a smile that bordered on proud. I shifted, a little uncomfortable, a little pleased, but he continued as if I hadn't moved. "Told you you'd be good at this. We're about to play some basketball, by the way, if you'd care to place your bets."

"Yes, we know," I said, waving a hand. "Tell Abram I'm betting on him."

Bear laughed, leaving for the court, shedding his flannel shirt to reveal a loose white t-shirt. Abram joined him, followed by a couple of the older kids, including the strawberry-blond from before. I assumed she was Campbell.

I heard Jessie sit down and redirected my attention to her as she munched on her sandwich. "Want to listen to music until we finish eating?"

Unsurprisingly, she glowed, and we did. After lunch, we worked on maths, which was a little harder for me, but she breezed through it once I finally got a good communication system down. She was ridiculously smart; I was a little jealous.

"You're really good at this," I commented, and she glowed like the sun under such simple words of praise. Thinking back on Bella's words, I wondered how long it had been since she'd been genuinely praised, and scowled a little to myself. "What do you want to do next?"

I immediately started to correct myself, trying to come up with a yes or no question, but to my surprise, she tugged my sleeve hesitantly. "Um…m…music."

I blinked, recalibrating. She had a soft little voice, smooth and sweet. Even with her dark skin, I could tell she was blushing furiously, her eyes darting around as her fingers shook, holding my sleeve.

"You…you want to listen to music?" I asked, finally getting my mind back on track. I knew if I made a big deal about it, she'd probably freeze up again. "Or you want to talk about music?"

She tiled her head, her fingers still in my sleeve. "I w-wa…want…want t-to…talk."

"Okay," I said, letting her keep her fingers in my sleeve. "What kind of music do you like?"

Jessie seemed the slightest bit more confident, but her voice was still small. "Po…pop. Pop."

Oh. Oh. I finally understood why she didn't like talking—she had a stutter.

I could tell it wasn't just from nervousness, or anxiety. I stuttered sometimes, but it was mostly when I was uncomfortable, and nervous or scared. Her stutter sounded a lot more natural. No wonder she didn't like to talk—she had so much trouble saying what she wanted to. Besides, kids her age were mean, sometimes—I could imagine people probably made fun of her for it. That explained why she liked music so much—it was another form of expression and communication.

In a horrible, revelation-like second, I realized she reminded me of me, in a couple ways.

"That's cool," I said, smiling. My natural response seemed to encourage her, because she perked up a little. "I liked alternative music. Do you know what that is?" She shook her head, so I took a couple seconds to explain the style, and she responded that she liked that, too.

"What's your favorite song?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I-I like…like them all."

I laughed a little. "Me too. I can't pick a favorite."

She giggled at that, and I glanced up to see Bella watching from across the room, eyes wide. I gave her a subtle thumbs-up to confirm that yes, she was talking, and Bella's eyes filled with something like joy.

I was glad I could do something for them. Jessie was a great kid.

"Jessie," I said, knowing I probably wouldn't get another chance to ask her, and knowing that the question needed to be asked. "Why don't you like to talk?"

Jessie glanced at me in surprise. I knew I had a bad habit of keeping my face blank when I wasn't talking, but I tried to be expressive now, at least a little. I tried to look open and encouraging, even though embarrassment was squirming in my gut.

Jessie started tapping again, letting go of my sleeve, her eyes a little bit scared. I recognized that look, too.

A bad feeling sank to the bottom of my stomach where it settled, and festered.

"Nobody…body…listens," she said quietly.

I heard a snap, but I thought it was mostly in my head; I think my heart broke a little at the utter defeat in her eyes. The acceptance. The resolution that since no one had listened to her, since no one had the decency to sit down and patiently wait out her stumbles and struggles, she had decided to just…quit talking. She'd decided instead to speak through drumbeats and inconspicuous music, and nobody listened to that, either. How long until she stopped her drumbeats? How long until she stopped communicating altogether?

"Jessie?" I asked, waiting until she looked up at me. I reached out, making sure she could see me and my movements, and took her hand. She stared at it for a long second. "I'm listening."

She didn't talk for almost two full minutes, but I didn't either, because I promised I'd listen. I knew what it was like to be ignored. My mind called up memories in Blunt's office, of my reluctance and my fear and later on, my terror and my staunch refusal, and I remembered being subsequently blackmailed and ignored. I remembered talking to that awful psychologist and being ignored. I remembered floating through homeless shelters and halfway houses and being ignored.

I remembered the thoughts in my head screaming, shouting for someone to hear me, see me, help me, and I was always ignored. Until recently, anyways.

Still, I knew how horrible it was to need help, and to watch a thousand backs turn toward you until one day, you found yourself alone. Until one day, you could scream all you want, and were no longer ignored—you just weren't heard.

I didn't want Jessie to end up like me, so I listened.

It took her a long time to speak, and when she did, she was looking at my knuckles again. "Someone…one…h-hurt y-you?"

I nodded, eyes drawn in concern. "They did. But I'm getting better."

Jessie's eyes filled with tears, and she sniffed. I saw the determination in her eyes, the stubbornness to keep them in, but I could tell the second she broke. "Someone h-hurt m-me…me t-too."

Another snap. This time, of my temper. It was a wonder I could keep the reaction as calm as I did, settling the rage in my gut with a calming breath. I was pulled back to that day in the park, with Jonah and Lion and his God-awful father, but I wouldn't let myself react how I did then. Jessie didn't need that.

"Thanks for telling me," I said, because I knew how uncertain and anxious one felt when they revealed something like that. She didn't look at me, but her fingers tightened on my hand. "Can you tell me what happened?"

And Jessie did. In stuttered speech, slowly but surely, she told me everything. Once she started, she couldn't seem to stop. I wondered how long it had been since she'd talked to someone, because it seemed like a dam had been broken, and everything was flowing out now.

Her mum, Mahika, was a saint. Through and through, according to Jessie. A wonderful woman with a kind heart. Her mum's boyfriend was a different story. The man, Vihaan, was not. He'd come into their lives unexpectedly and uninvited, and had stayed, leeching money from Mahika and threatening Jessie when Mahika couldn't follow through. Mahika was in the process of getting them away, getting them safe, but she couldn't gather the money, Jessie said. She was trying so hard, Jessie said, but it was Jessie's fault she got hurt, because Vihaan said she was a bad girl. It was her fault because she wasn't acting right.

You get hurt so often because you don't do your job properly, Alan Blunt once said when I brought up the ludicrous number of times I'd been hospitalized since working for them. Once you start learning to observe instead of act, as we send you to do, you'll be fine.

Vihaan was very, very lucky I didn't know where to find him.

"Jessie," I said quietly, waiting for teary eyes to focus on me. "I know you don't know me very well, and that's okay. But I haven't lied to you yet, have I?"

Confused, she shook her head.

"It's not your fault. Your mum is trying her best, and you're doing your best. Vihaan is a very bad man who makes very bad decisions, but that doesn't mean it's your fault. It's his decisions. If I hit someone, then said it was because they annoyed me, would that make sense? Would it be his fault?"

She shook her head again.

"Then how is it your fault?"

I supposed I should've expected the reaction, but it startled me all the same. Skinny arms wound around my neck in a fierce, desperate hug, and all I could do was wrap my arms around her as she started to sob. I tried to hide the groan of pain as she all but knelt on my bullet wound, but I knew there were bigger issues.

The sound immediately drew eyes from all over the room, especially the adults. The kids looked startled, but I tried to warn them away with a look of thin disapproval, and it mostly worked. I saw some of the volunteers corral the kids back to their tasks, and I saw Bear hand the basketball to Abram and jog in my direction, closely followed by Bella.

"What happened?" Bella asked, her eyes alight in worry. She put a hand on Jessie's back, looking startled. "Jessami—Jessie? Love, what's wrong?"

Jessie shook her head into my shoulder, and I felt the tears soaking through my tee-shirt. "Jessie?" I said softly. I knew I'd have to tell them, but I wanted her to know first. "Can I tell them what you told me? They'll be able to help." They had to be able to help. They had to be…mandatory reporters, or something. That was a thing in the US.

Silently, punctuated with a sniffle, Jessie nodded. "Mm…Mm-hm."

Hesitantly, I put my fingers to her hair, trying to calm her down. At least, it made me feel warm when one of the others tousled my hair. Jessie seemed to be alright with it, so I scratched her scalp with my nonexistent nails, remembering how Jack would calm me down after nightmares.

I took a deep breath, and I recounted what Jessie had told me. I watched Bear's eyes darken, and I saw his knuckles go white even with his dark skin. His jaw clenched, and his eyebrow twitched more the longer I spoke. Bella's face, in comparison, fell, her eyes falling with each word.

When I was done, Jessie was quieter, still cocooned in my arms. The close contact made me uncomfortable, and I wasn't sure I was the right person to be comforting her, but she didn't seem to be letting go anytime soon.

"Jessie," Bella said quietly, crouching beside me. I leaned away from her, partially to give her more access to Jessie, partially because I wasn't comfortable with her so close to me. "Sweetie. I'm going to call your mum, and we're going to work it out. Okay?"

Jessie, still sniffling, nodded.

"Do you want to listen to some music?" I asked softly. She nodded. I disentangled myself long enough for me to fish out my headphones, popping both in her ears and adjusting the volume before I hit shuffle on one of my clean albums. I felt her relax immediately, tapping shaking fingers on the back of my shoulders.

"Alex?" I looked up to see Bear standing over me, still angry, still concerned. Bella was crossing the room to her phone.

"I'm okay," I said, reading the question in his eyes. I didn't know for sure if I was—the memories this conversation had dredged up were still poignantly painful—but I had to be, for now. "I just want to make sure she and her mum get help. Please just…please make sure that happens, Henry."

I didn't think I'd ever used his first name. I looked up at him, and for just a split second, I let the desperation show in my gaze, and I let me walls down, and I let him know just how much I wanted to help this little girl. I spoke, and I shouted to be heard.

And Bear listened.

"I swear," he said, and I could see the promise in his eyes. I let out a shuddering breath, readjusting Jessie in my arms. I spoke, and he listened.

Bear's promise was enough for me.

…

Jessie's mother had shown up soon, the Indian woman tearful and frightened, but Bella and Bear had been quick to assure her that they'd already been in contact with the police, and she could file a report, if she wanted. Bella offered to go with her. Jessie had fallen asleep on top of me, and while my leg was positively throbbing, I didn't have the heart to move her until her mum got there.

As soon as Jessie woke up, she ran to her mum sobbing, and her mum was trying valiantly to hold it together. Luckily, Bear's easy temperament put her at ease until a constable arrived, and they talked outside under one of the trees to keep away from the prying eyes of the kids. Once they were outside, I saw Bella's hands shake, and Bear gave her a hug, whispering something in her ear. She nodded something, and I looked away, feeling like an intruder.

"How did you get her to open up?" Bella asked as Bear and I got ready to leave. Bear said I'd had too much excitement for the day, but he probably knew that I was getting pretty uncomfortable, and the memories weren't helping.

I fixed Bella with a long look. I wasn't…angry, but I guess I was a little upset. She worked with kids all the time; she should've done something sooner. I knew that wasn't fair, but my personal feelings were very much getting in the way, and I was a little bitter. "I listened."

I let her think about that as I adjusted myself on my crutch, Bear gathering my windbreaker. "Let's go, mate."

I breathed slowly, trying to calm my racing heart. "Yeah."

On the way out, I heard a shout, and then I was body-slammed by a nine-year-old. "Oomph," I said, my leg throbbing. I looked down to find Jessie's arms around my waist, and put a hand on her head, smiling a little. "Hey, Jessie."

"Thank…thank y-you, Matthew," she said quietly, looking up at me with a smile. "Will you…you come b-back?"

I paused, glancing at Bear, who shrugged, giving me a knowing smile.

I chuckled, ruffing her hair. "Sure. I'll try, Jessie. Thanks for talking to me."

She grinned, and her eyes were bright. So much brighter than the isolated little girl I'd seen when I walked in. "Th-thanks…for listening."

I smiled down at her, feeling light, and heavy. "Of course." I wish someone had listened before me.

She ran back to her mum, who sent me a grateful smile, still talking with the constable. I looked at them for a long second. "Bear, make sure they're okay." It wasn't a request.

"I will," he said, putting a hand on my back. "Let's get you home, mate."

I didn't correct him on his word choice, but I was too out of it, really.

The ride back was quiet, and thoughtful.

"How did you know?" Bear asked finally, his eyes pinched in concern. "We've all tried to get through to her, but she never responded to any of us. She just kept tapping. We thought for a while she just didn't know how to communicate."

"She didn't want to," I said thoughtfully, my head resting on the cool glass window. "She said nobody listened, so she stopped talking. I guess…I knew what to do because she…reminded me of me. I…I listened."

I saw Bear's hands clench the steering wheel a little tighter, his jaw locked. He looked like he was desperately trying to keep a lid on his anger, but I didn't know why.

"Bear?" I asked finally.

"Did he—your uncle…did he…?"

"Oh," I said, eyes going wide. "No. God, no. No, my uncle was great, Bear. He never, ever hurt me. I swear."

Something relaxed in his eyes, but there was still a glint of steel anger. "Okay. Okay. Good."

I relaxed, glad he'd calmed down. "No, it…nobody ever…hurt me like that. Not the same people."

He was quiet for a minute. "Do you want to keep going?"

I felt my eyes scrunch in indecision, tapping my fingers, not unlike Jessie. "Nobody ever hurt me like that. There were some people who…who constantly…let me be hurt. I know it's not the same, but…she was kind of acting like me. Skittish, and flighty. She kept looking at my hand, at the bruises. And she said nobody listened to her, and…and I know what that's like. To ask for help and be ignored."

Bear's jaw was locked again, but his eyes, always so expressive, were carefully blank. I fidgeted with my hands, looking out the window, the slush from the earlier rain clogging the streets with half-melted ice.

"I don't mean you," I said quickly, realizing how it sounded. "Not you, or Lion or Tiger. You guys are great," I said with a smile. "It was…before. A couple years ago. They didn't listen to me when I told them how badly I was being hurt, and it…kept happening until something happened that…couldn't be fixed." I blinked as quickly as I could, fire consuming the space behind my eyes, bright red hair billowing up with the flames, and I had to clench the door handle until it passed.

"You can stop if you need to," he said quietly.

I nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."

"Thanks for telling me."

I smiled. "Thanks for listening."

…

I took one of my prescription pain killers when we got back to the flat, opting to lie down for a while. Tiger and Lion were on their way back, Bear informed me, so we ate dinner without them and then I went to take a nap. I was bloody exhausted.

"You'll tell me if you hear anything?" I asked, fixing him with a look.

"I will. Promise," he said, flipping on the tellie with a smile. "You'll be the first to know."

I nodded, going to lie down, but sleep was elusive. I kept thinking of Jessie. That sweet little girl who just had problems communicating, and I'd give anything to make sure she didn't end up like me.

I smirked to myself. Well…I guessed I was alright, now. But I never wanted her to experience what the last few years had been like for me. I hoped they could work everything out. If not…well, I wouldn't go nearly as far as I had with Lion's father, but I could pay Vihaan a visit, perhaps. I was sure Smithers could find his information.

I texted Tom, hoping some mindless conversation would help me feel better. How are you?

The response was almost immediate. awesome rhea and i r going 2 the park latr

I smiled, already feeling my chest ease. Good for you. No gelato?

gelato after depending on how the park goes

I laughed under my breath, sending a thumbs up. Let me know how it goes.

He replied with a fingers-crossed emoji, but I heard the door open before Lion and Tiger got back. I heard a couple pleasantries, and I heard them ask where I was; Bear said something like I was resting, because I'd had a long day. I heard a question, and then an abridged version of the events, and a hesitant synopsis of my confessions in the car.

I wasn't upset that Bear had told them; I'd long since come to terms with the fact that what I told one of them, I told all of them, sans the issue with my weight that Tiger knew about. Still, it was odd hearing my words in someone else's voice. He was clinical about it, but I could hear the stress in his tone.

There was quiet for a few moments. Quiet, tense voices floated from the living room.

I lay on the bed listening, breathing quietly. I didn't know what they were talking about; I couldn't hear anymore. Maybe they knew I had a knack for listening in.

There was some more discussion, but it unnerved me to not know what was being said, so I abandoned the notion of sleep and went out into the living room. I left my crutch; the first few steps told me it was a bad idea, but my stubbornness won out.

"you idiot," Bear scowled when he saw me limping.

"That's me," I conceded, smiling towards Lion and Tiger, who were on the couch. They looked tired. "How was the meeting?" I didn't give them a chance to ask questions.

Tiger sat up straighter, sending Lion a knowing look, and Bear shifted. "Informative," Tiger said.

I blinked. "Is that supposed to…mean something?"

"Basically, we're being called back to active duty for two weeks," Lion said, shrugging one shoulder, his face flat. "There's an emergency in Budapest, and they need a unit."

My heart shuddered a little, but I hid it well enough. "Oh. Um…I'll run comms or something, or snipe from somewhere, I suppose. Did the Sergeant say what the mission was?"

It took me a second to register the incredulous looks on their faces. "What?"

"You're not going, Jag," Bear said, his tone disbelieving. "God, did you really think we'd put you in an active warzone when you're still recovering?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. "Um…I guess…?"

"When the day comes and you finally tell us who was in charge of you, for whatever you did, I'm going to commit a crime," Tiger mumbled. "Son of a bitch. No, kid, you're not going. We were just talking about options for you."

"Options…?"

"To stay while we're gone," Lion said, his face still pinched in surprise, and concern. "But we didn't want to decide anything without you."

I blinked in surprise. I supposed thinking about everything MI6 had done had put me back in that mindset for a while. I shook my head a little, running a hand through my hair. "Oh. Um…sorry. I can just stay here."

"No, not by yourself, not while you're still recovering," Bear said firmly. "Plus, you have a PT appointment coming up, and another therapy session. You'll need someone to drive you."

"I'll take a taxi," I said, shifting. I was getting uncomfortable. "I don't need a babysitter, guys."

"We know, but you're still hurt, Alex," Lion said reasonably. "It would make us feel better knowing we didn't have to worry about you while we were in an active warzone."

I scowled. Damn. How could I argue with that?

"Just…I dunno…I can…" I stammered, but my brain was empty. I didn't have anywhere to stay, and I didn't want to stay with strangers. "I'm really fine here."

"No," Tiger said. I scowled again.

"Well, we were thinking…if you're okay with it and they're okay with it…you could stay with K-Unit," Lion said carefully, watching my face like a hawk.

I paused, completely thrown. I hadn't expected that at all.

"Um."

"Oh, he's broken," Bear said, dragging a hand down his face. "It would only be for a week or so. Not forever."

"Uh, I—I…"

"If you're uncomfortable, we can figure something out," Lion said decisively, Tiger nodding in agreement. "The last thing I want to do is put you somewhere you don't feel safe, okay? But I need you to talk to me."

I tapped my fingers on the armchair, remembering Jessie. "It's not that—that I won't feel safe," I said carefully. "I—if that's…the easiest option, that's fine."

Lion's eyes were narrowed in thoughtful concern. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I said after a few long seconds. "Yeah. Fox and I are fine, and Snake's been over a couple times. Plus Wolf and I are on pretty good terms, and Eagle seems fine."

Lion searched my face for a few more seconds, but he must not have found what he was looking for, because he sighed. "Alright. If you're sure."

I nodded, completely unsure.

"Okay. I'll call Wolf."

Lion left for the kitchen, and Tiger stretched. "You okay? Bear said you guys had a long day."

I shrugged. "I'm fine." I didn't feel like talking much about it until I knew Jessie and her mum would be okay.

Tiger nodded. "Okay."

I fiddled with the sleeves of my long-sleeved shirt until Lion got back, saying that Wolf had said it was fine if I stayed with them, and they'd drop me off tomorrow morning on their way out of town. I nodded, going for a smile, but Lion was still watching me. I knew I couldn't fool him, but I could try.

I wasn't…scared. I just knew that…questions were much harder to evade when you lived with people, as L-Unit had so artfully proven. And I wasn't sure how much I could safely divulge when Fox would be there, and he knew so much.

And…and my unit would be going into an active warzone. Without me.

I knew it was stupid, I knew it was clingy and irrational, but I wanted to be there. I wanted to be there to watch their backs and make sure they came back okay, because I couldn't lose them. If I lost them, any of them, I would completely unravel.

I could feel the tension in my shoulders, but I forced myself to relax, enjoying the night before they left. I For a few minutes, I let myself forget about Jessie and her mum, MI6, K-Unit, everything. I needed to savor moments like these more often.

I just had to convince myself that…that they would be fine. As long as they were fine, everything would be okay, and I held onto that tighter than anything else I ever had.

As long as they were fine, everything would be okay.

A/N: Heyo! Long chapter, and I started it…twelve hours ago! My hands hurt lol. Anyways, I know this kind of seemed random, but Bear would totally take Alex to the youth center, and he knows how much Jonah liked him; Bear would totally stick Alex with a problem kid. "Problem kid." Don't worry, Jessie and her mum are going to be just fine :) Plus, we're setting this up for a later topic.

Hehe. K-Unit is on the way XD More of their stories! :D

Anyways, thanks so much for the continued influx of support, especially my reviewers and new followers! I love you all: otterpineapple06, Padfoot's Marauder, fangirl all da way, DaisyLynn21, Asilrettor, Sagitarscorpion1, reginamare, Guest, Dobby and Padfoot, ClarenzaK, X4auth0r, Guest, Riderkitty, Weirdo, Em0Wolf, Guest, Guest, Guest, and Jess A!

Reginamare: I love Hamilton so much. Hahaha thanks! Love the fluff lol

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Weirdo: Hahahaha thanks! Yes Tom isn't going anywhere. Their domestic life is actually what gives me life, I love them all. THE HOODIE BIT WAS MY FAVORITE SCENE. Hehehe it's still far away but it's getting closer. OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH MY HEART ToT

Em0Wolf: I love the fluff bits too! XD

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