Things were better after that.

It was easier to be around them, and I was still worried, still anxious, but I wasn't constantly on the verge of breaking down. Snake took his exam the next day and came back around one in the afternoon, scarfed down three plates of Wolf's leftovers, and passed out. I shot Wolf a look halfway between concerned and frightened as I washed rice for him.

Wolf smirked. "He'll sleep for at least twelve hours. Then he'll be back to his usual self."

I blinked. "Is this normal?"

"As normal as he can get, yeah."

Well, that was healthy. I supposed I wasn't one to talk, though.

Eagle was a ball of tension, planning and scrapping and re-planning his proposal to Evie—"Okay, should it be flashy?" "Does she like flashy things?" "I don't think so." "Then why in God's name would you do something flashy?"—so even if he was mostly cooped up in the apartment, he wasn't really present. Fox and I were better, too, at least the day after our trip to the cemetery. He wasn't around much, that morning, and I got the feeling he was a little embarrassed. Not that he had a reason to be, of course, but I could still understand why he was.

Still, we'd made plans to go out in a couple days and go shopping a bit more—I'd yet to buy presents for anyone on my list—and I hoped I'd get to talk to him a little more. I didn't want him to think I was a risk, or anything, or worry about me, because I—

Well. I wasn't okay. Not really, especially not now, but…I'd promised Tom, and Lion, and that was enough to keep me here. I hoped that would be enough to convince him.

Wolf cooked. A lot. He also did Christmas shopping, and ran a lot of errands, and went running sometimes with Fox. He didn't know how to sit still. Tiger could laze around for hours with a book and some coffee, but Wolf never seemed to sit down long enough to breathe. I'd gotten sick of sitting on the couch reading books or watching documentaries, so I found myself joining him when he was up for company. That was how I found myself chopping onions in the kitchen as he worked, blinking tears from my eyes when I hit the center.

When I asked him why he was cooking so much, he said, "My family's coming in for Christmas, and I'm cooking this year. I'm practicing."

I blinked. "You're…practicing?"

"Yes, I'm practicing. Mi madre always cooks, but since Snake and I are in our own apartment now, we're having it here. Extremely late house-warming party, they called it. I think Fox is staying, too, but Eagle is making himself scarce. Practicing also means I'm going to have a shit ton of leftovers, so you better start pulling your weight and eat some," he added with a strict flourish of his ladle. (1)

I rolled my eyes, moving on to crush some garlic with a mortar and pestle. I'd never actually used one of these things before, and it was really cool, not that I'd ever admit it. "Is Snake close to your family?"

Wolf eyed me as he sautéed some bell peppers and onions, shoving a tiny dish of picada in my face. "Try it."

I obeyed, and my brain short-circuited. "Holy shit."

"Good holy shit or bad holy shit?"

"Awesome holy shit," I corrected. "Why didn't you become a chef? Wow. This is better than at some of the Spanish restaurants I've been to."

Wolf scoffed. "Never call those damn British knock-offs Spanish restaurants in my presence again."

I laughed, feeling a lot better than yesterday. Maybe it was the increased sense of inclusivity in the apartment, or it was my immediate fear for L-Unit slowly adjusting, or a combination. But…I felt a little better. "I meant in Spain. I lived there for about a year."

"Oh. Carry on, then. And to answer your question, there's a bit of a story, but Snake's my brother."

I stopped grinding the garlic and glanced at him, too surprised to be able to hide my expression. I didn't want to seem rude, but I gave him a once over, then glanced at Snake's closed bedroom door, contemplating the ridiculously obvious Hispanic genes and Snake's ridiculously pale skin and red hair and Scottish accent. Not to mention the fact that they didn't exactly act like they were brothers in Wales, when I'd first come.

Wolf smirked. "Told you there was a story."

He didn't elaborate further, and I didn't want to pry, so I continued chopping in silence, sending him a raised eyebrow. I supposed stranger things had happened. They certainly acted like brothers, more so than with Fox and Eagle, anyway. They bickered like Tom and I sometimes did.

Well, it must've been one hell of a story, but I wasn't going to ask about it if Wolf didn't want to talk about it. By the time Wolf was finally done, I'd had to sit down to rest my leg, and he didn't look too far behind me. He handed me a plate loaded with samples and a glare.

I opened my mouth to say I wasn't hungry, but he said, "If you tell me you're not hungry, I swear, I'm going to force feed you. Bloody hell, are you ever hungry?"

To avoid answering, I tried the pozole and promptly went to heaven. "This is amazing."

"You're deflecting, but thank you."

I smiled a little as I sipped on the hot soup, still not hungry, but I'd be damned if I let something this good go to waste. "What's your family like?"

"Huge and obnoxious," he griped as he started to package the leftovers with gratuitous tin foil. "Four siblings, not including Snake, even more cousins, a dozen munchkins—which reminds me, I need to child-proof this whole damn place—and my abuelito, my parents, and my two aunts and three uncles." (2)

"Wow," I managed, sipping at the soup. "Can you fit them all in here?" The flat was big by English standards, but it wasn't big enough for what sounded like thirty people.

"Oh, definitely not, but somehow I'm going to manage," he grumbled. "They insisted, and it's very hard to say no to Hispanic women. I'm gonna end up putting half of them up in a hotel down the road and cramming all the munchkins in Snake's room, and Eagle's, if he's staying with Evie."

I laughed a little. "That's going to be interesting."

"Yeah, it'll be something. God, the little terrors are tornadoes. I'm gonna have to store everything breakable in Fox's room…"

"Can I help you get ready?" I offered as he started playing Tetris with the leftovers, trying to shove three and a half feasts into the fridge. "I feel bad, I haven't done much to help."

"You've been my sous chef," he offered with a grunt as he shoved a platter of tamales on top of a precarious Tupperware of pollo a la pepitoria. "But if you're bored, knock yourself out. They've got a couple toddlers, so I have to proof all the outlets and stuff. Is your leg okay for that kind of work?"

"Yeah, it's almost completely healed, I think," I said, flexing it in thought. "Lissa said one or two more sessions, as long as I didn't get hurt anymore, and I should be okay."

Wolf snorted. "Yeah. You, the danger magnet, avoiding injuries? I'm betting against you."

I flipped him off because I couldn't come up with enough evidence in my favor to disagree with him.

Wolf returned the gesture, then continued like it hadn't happened. "Anyway, we gotta get rid of all the glass, too. Snake's good with kids, so he's on babysitting duty while I cook, but even he can't corral twelve little diablos all by himself." (3)

I smirked. This was actually pretty nice. I was glad the Wolf from Brecon Beacons seemed to be somewhat replaced with a lot more mature guy with a personality that consisted of more than scowls and swears, though those were pretty common too. "I bet you're great with the kids." I didn't think I could've made it more sarcastic if I'd tried.

He gave me a glare. "I scare them."

"I'm sure you don't." Devil's advocate, but he didn't have to know that.

"Oh, I scare them, alright. They call me malvada Tío Jaime." (4)

I snorted, choking on a laugh, trying not to be rude. "They don't."

"Oh, they do. After I yelled at Alejandro about not eating dirt. Because, you know, that's evil."

"Okay, but did you yell at them like an uncle or like you yelled at me during training?" I reasoned, pitying whatever poor kid had to endure that kind of wrath from Wolf.

Wolf eyed me, and didn't say a word.

"Oh, God. Those poor kids."

"Shut up, you bloody prat."

…

"Wait, what if she doesn't like the ring?" Eagle blurted out at dinner that night, nearly murdering a chorizo as he fled the table to the living room, where he had a scarily detailed notebook of how and when and where he was going to propose. "Shit, shit, shit, I knew I should've gone with the trellis setting…"

Fox rubbed his temples. "It's fine, Eagle. She's going to love whatever you get her."

"I know, but I don't just want her to love it 'cause I got it," he defended, his voice muffled. I bet he had a pencil in his mouth. He did that a lot. I ate another bite of rice and turned around to watch the show through the hallway. "Should I exchange it? Is that a thing?"

"No, you need to calm the hell down and be a man," Wolf muttered. "Give me grace, Mason, you're not going to get a chance to propose, because I'm going to bloody murder you before then. Evie's head over heels for you, for reasons I still cannot fathom, and she's going to say yes. Now get your arse in here and finish eating."

I blinked, side-eyeing Wolf, but he didn't seem to notice that he'd just become a middle-aged mother.

"He never notices, don't worry about it," Fox whispered.

"What was that?"

"Hm?" Fox said, blinking innocently over his beer. "Oh, nothing. Don't worry about it."

I hid a smile behind my hand, but I wasn't very discreet, because Wolf trained his eyes on me. "Quit laughing."

"M'not," I defended.

"Should I propose in the park or on the ice rink?" Eagle shouted.

"Ice rink," Fox said. "Very romantic. Picturesque. Do you have someone to take pictures?"

"I was hoping you would," Eagle admitted with a hesitant glance at Fox.

Fox scowled. "There's nothing I'd like to do less." If I didn't know Fox as well as I did (which wasn't incredibly well, but well enough) I'd pity Eagle for having a best friend like him, but I think everybody knew Fox was just being difficult for the hell of it.

"I thought you were the best man," I muttered, enjoying Fox's tepid look of betrayal as I picked apart his defense.

"That's right! You agreed, compadre, you're taking pictures," Eagle said with a devilish grin. "No backing out now."

Ben's face screwed up in something like physical disgust, but he just sighed. "Fine. I'll just freeze my bollocks off hiding behind a frozen tree for an hour while you stall. Sounds like the perfect Christmas."

"You're not going home?" I asked in a spurt of curiosity, sipping on some tea.

"Nope."

I blinked, a little surprised by the abrupt response, but I supposed it made sense. I didn't want to pry, either. He'd spoken about his mom and sister like he still kept in touch, but after what he'd told me about what his parents did to his brother…I couldn't imagine they had the best relationship.

"You spending Christmas with L-Unit?" Wolf asked, clearing his plate.

"Yeah," I said, thinking. I still had a lot to do to get ready for Christmas, actually. "I think so, as long as they're back by then. They…should be, right?"

"They'll be back within the week, you'll see," Eagle said reassuringly, but he sounded distracted. "Do you have any other family coming in?"

"No." I nixed an explanation with another particularly long sip of tea. "I do still need to get presents, though. And I need to get something for Tom and Jessie."

"Tom, from your flat Tom?" Wolf asked, raising an eyebrow.

I smirked, already knowing what was coming. "Yeah."

"He's…something," Wolf admitted with pinched eyebrows.

I texted Tom before he'd even finished speaking, because I wanted him to know just how much of an impression he'd left on this SAS Unit. "He's gonna love hearing that. Eagle and Fox have already called him frightening. Only Snake hasn't admitted it yet."

As if summoned, Snake stumbled out of his room, looking like he'd just come off a month-long bender and stumbled into a bar. "Food," he said simply.

Wolf, ever in denial of the mother he obviously was, wordlessly handed Snake a plate already made, nearly overflowing with an assortment of food from the counters. I honestly had no idea how these guys stayed in shape on their breaks with Wolf's cooking.

Snake blinked at the plate that had been shoved into his hand, then looked at Wolf with squinting eyes. "Gracias, lobo." (5)

Wolf's eye twitched at the nickname, and I barely swallowed a laugh, but I doubted Snake was even cognizant enough to understand a lecture if Wolf wanted to give one. "Your accent is rubbish," Wolf chastised. "Go back to bed."

"I wanted to eat out here." Snake sounded almost petulant.

"Then eat, then go sleep."

Snake plopped down at the permission and started eating, eyeing Eagle in the living room, and me and Fox. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's overthinking the proposal," Fox explained. "I'm now a photographer, even though I've never taken one good picture in my life."

"Better learn, mate," Snake said, scarfing down two tamales like it was the first he'd eaten in a week. "Otherwise Evie's gonna have ye're head."

Fox blinked. "Oh. Evie's going to be infinitely madder than Eagle if I screw this up. I didn't realize that."

"I don't want to see Evie mad," I admitted. She was super nice, sure, but if she could handle Eagle and the rest of K-Unit, she must've had a mean streak a mile wide underneath all the smiles.

"No, you don't," Snake and Wolf said at the same time, which made me smile.

Snake finished eating a few minutes later and took his plate to Wolf, then rounded on me. "We're goin' shoppin' tomorrow, if that's alright."

I blinked, peering at him over the top of my glass. "Huh?"

"Shopping," he reiterated as he rummaged in the fridge for a drink, pushing aside copious platters of miscellaneous food. "For groceries."

My jaw dropped. "You want to get more food?"

"Don't be fooled by his girlish figure," Wolf chimed in, filling the sink with water. "He eats like a football player who's been starved for a week."

"I can see that," I say carefully, watching Snake guzzle two sodas before peeking into one of the foil-wrapped dishes.

Wolf smacks him with a spatula. "You're going to make yourself sick, dumbarse."

"Yes, Mum," Snake says dutifully. "Anyway, yes, we're goin' shoppin', unless you really don't want. You eat like a baby bird on a diet, and I'd like to find something ye'll actually eat at the store."

I blinked, feeling a blush creep up my neck. "I like Hispanic food."

"That's good, but I want to find more stuff you like," Snake said, stealing a tamale when Wolf's back was turned. "Plus Christmas Eve is my birthday, and as much as I love Hispanic food, I want Rumbledethumps and Dundee Cake so bad I think I'm goin' ta die."

I wasn't sure what words had just come out of his mouth, but… "Yeah. That's fair." I'd splurged on my birthday and left the homeless shelter to spend some of my savings on some pastries Jack and I got on my birthday with Ian, when he was in town.

"Good, we'll leave after lunch," he said through a mouthful of picada. Wolf had obviously noticed, but he seemed rather resigned to the foraging. "Is that okay?" I nodded dumbly, unsure how I'd been roped into his shopping trip. "I'm goin' back into hibernation."

He stumbled back to his room. I glanced at Wolf, waiting for some kind of explanation, but he just shrugged. "Don't look at me. No one is ever going to be able to explain him."

Fox snorted and ruffled my hair as he passed. I fought the urge to swat his hand away on principle. "I'm going to shower."

With Fox gone and Eagle indisposed, and Snake yet again unconscious, I said to Wolf, "I didn't think you and Snake knew each other in Wales."

"We didn't," Wolf confirmed, sitting down with a bottle of beer. He uncapped it on the table with a pop, then took a swig. "We got close and my family adopted him. Unofficially, considering he's an adult, but whatever. Family doesn't end in blood."

I smiled at that, my mind wandering. "Yeah. I agree with you there."

Wolf gave me a searching look, finishing his beer. "What about your family?"

I glanced at Wolf, who was still looking at me with curious eyes, and I knew he wanted to know what the hell had happened to me since Point Blanc. I obviously wasn't the kid he knew then, not anymore, and it was more than apparent that he needed the truth. But that wasn't something I could give yet.

"They've mostly died," I admitted reluctantly, eluding any explanation or circumstance, "at one point or another. I think of Tom as family." I paused, considering. "L-Unit is…they're almost there."

Wolf raised an eyebrow. "Really?" He didn't say anything about my first statement. I was grateful. I guessed Wolf would be, surprisingly, easy to talk to about this kind of thing, since he didn't seem very curious.

I nodded. "Yeah. They're almost there."

And I was surprised to find that it was true. Even if we hadn't known each other long…this horrible ache I got when I thought of them in danger, when I thought of them so far away from me where I was unable to protect them…it hurt. It hurt enough to know I needed them far more than I thought I'd ever need another person again.

It was scary, if I was being honest. But it was also too late to go back now.

"Well…that's good," Wolf finally said, clearing away my half-empty plate when I nodded. "Everybody needs somebody."

"Even you?" I smirked.

"Even me, smart-arse."

"Hm. Miracles do happen."

Wolf rolled his eyes.

…

I slept late the next day, feeling sluggish. I didn't feel bad, necessarily, just kind of lazy. I hadn't been able to afford lazy days on the run, so knowing I was safe to sleep in was nice. I stirred when I heard Eagle leave sometime in the morning, but fell back asleep after that. I finally woke fully to a racket in the kitchen, and hushed voices following that. It sounded like a distinctly Scottish admonishment.

"—he barely sleeps anyway, don't bloody wake 'im up—"

"—oh, and I suppose it's my fault that metal's loud when it hits something, excuse me for inventing sound waves—"

Ah. Snake and Wolf.

"Too late, he's up," I heard Fox say from the armchair as I stretched, pleasantly surprised to find a minimal ache in my leg and side. I supposed I really was healing. "Morning, sunshine."

"Morning," I slurred dutifully, sitting up and rubbing my eyes, squinting against the sun splashed across the floor. "What time's it?"

"Almost eleven."

I blinked at him, feeling fuzzy as the words tried to enter my brain, but failed. No. It totally wasn't eleven. I didn't sleep that late. I searched for a clock and finally settled for pawing at my phone on the other side of the bed, staring at the numbers for a long time before I realized yeah, I had slept until 10:54am.

That was some kind of record.

"Oh," I said slowly, ignoring Fox's laugh at my expression.

"Thought you were gonna sleep all day," Wolf grunted from the kitchen. "Get in here and eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"Son of a bitch, I'm gonna kill him," Wolf muttered just loud enough for me to hear. "Well, you're gonna eat before a strong breeze knocks you over. Get your arse in here."

I thought about arguing, but I was experiencing something scarily akin to a sleep hangover, and it seemed like far too much effort. Sighing, I dragged myself out from under the blankets and rolled up the sleeves of Lion's hoodie so I could function, padding into the kitchen and sinking into one of the chairs at the table.

"Did you go to the plus sized section for that thing?" Wolf asked, eyeing the ridiculously huge thing. I looked down. It definitely hung low on me, dipping past my hips and hanging on the ends of my shoulders over my t-shirt, and the bunched ends of the sleeves hung a couple inches past my fingers. It felt big and safe.

I didn't like that I was small for my age, even though it was a definite advantage on agility and speed, but it made wearing big clothes nice. I'd rather die before I admitted it to anyone besides Tom, especially Wolf, but still. "No. It's Lion's."

Wolf blinked, and Snake laughed as he manned something on the stove, stirring dutifully under Wolf's careful eye. "That's kind of adorable."

"Shut up," I muttered, pushing bedraggled bangs out of my eyes. I didn't care if it was eleven, it was far too early for their bullshit. "It's comfortable."

"Hm. Well, whatever. What do you want to eat?"

"What is there?"

"A shit-ton of Mexican food and some cereal," Wolf answered with a piece of toast between his teeth, even as he scoured the fridge. "Maybe some milk." He surfaced with the milk, sniffed it, and his face went even whiter than it already was. "Scratch that. No milk."

I sighed. These guys were as bad as L-Unit.

"If you don't mind, eat, then get dressed, because we desperately need normal human food," Snake threw in my direction. I was glad he seemed to be doing better. I thought for a while there we were going to find him unconscious over his desk or something. "We'll grab lunch somewhere if ye don't want anythin' here."

"Whatever's easiest," I said, shrugging. I didn't care.

Snake sighed. "We'll eat out. Go get ready."

I obeyed, still feeling slow, and took a shower. I ignored the mirror—I hadn't really wanted to look at the scars on my side or leg yet, not until I knew I could handle the disfigurations—and got dressed, pulling on a long-sleeved tee and the heavy coat Tiger leant me until I could buy myself some real clothes. Since Tiger was smaller and stocky, it was a little wide, but it didn't hang off me like the hoodie.

Snake and I left later, taking the car to a market a few miles away. We made small talk, easy conversation. I asked how his exam went, which was well, and he asked how I was settling in, and I said well. Snake didn't make it awkward, at least.

I was on cart duty, pushing it along behind him as he walked, investigating the prices with surprising scrutiny. Soft Christmas music jangled from the ceiling as we passed plastic Christmas decorations, soft, colorful lights wound around the walls of the store and little trees dotting the open floor space. The chalkboard signs in the produce in bakery were drawn with red and green script and little decorations, and the employees were wearing Santa hats. Jack would've loved this store.

"Do you have any specific foods you want?" Snake asked, plucking a can of cranberries from the shelf.

I shrugged, habitually scanning the crowds for threats. I felt uncomfortable—I much preferred to hole up in the flat, but I also knew that if I let agoraphobia get the best of me, I'd become a hermit. Tom would lose his mind. I probably would, too.

"Oi. Cub."

I glanced at him, feeling my shoulders tense abruptly as someone passed behind me with a muttered, "Excuse me," and watched him until he wandered to the end of the aisle out of sight. I didn't let my shoulders relax, shifting my leg to feel the reassuring weight of my knife against my ankle. There were three other people in the aisle—a lone woman and a man with who was obviously his daughter. Those two weren't threats, but the woman was shifting—

"Ye alright?" He asked, trying painfully hard to hide his obvious concern.

I blinked and forced myself to look at him, then back at the woman, who was only shifting because of the heavy shopping basket on her arm, and her purse on the other. She looked completely harmless. I barely kept from scowling, uncomfortable with his concern, because I didn't need it. I shouldn't need it. "I'm fine."

Snake hummed in acknowledgement, obviously unconvinced. "Alright. If ye need to go, we can. Don't force yourself. I can come back later."

I nodded absently, but I refused to leave. I could handle a trip to the damn grocery. I perused the shelf of canned foods as Snake searched for canned peaches. I plucked one off the shelf and handed it to him for him to inspect. He nodded in approval, and tossed it in the cart.

"So, truth for a truth," he said after a few minutes of silence, meandering the produce section, inspecting a ripe tomato. "Wolf said you asked about our family. I'll tell you about it if you tell me about something."

I tensed, instantly on edge, because he was quite carefully and deliberately avoiding my eyes, trying to seem casual. "Depends."

Snake finally looked at me, bagging a bunch of tomatoes and putting them in the cart. "Why aren't you eating?"

Oh. I should've expected that from the medic.

I felt my shoulders slump as I shrugged. It wasn't like I knew, either. "I'm just never hungry. It's not like I'm not eating on purpose." Snake looked at me for a long minute, and I felt myself get defensive the longer he stared. "Honeslty. I don't have an eating disorder, or anything." I wished I were hungry. Wolf's cooking was awesome, and I could never bloody eat it.

His searching eyes were piercing, different from the levity I was used to, and he finally looked away. "Okay. I believe ye. We need to figure it out, though. Have ye noticed ye've lost a lot of weight since ye were hurt?"

I grit my teeth to keep from snapping at him in the middle of the store, feeling my knuckles go white as I gripped the cart's handle. "Yes. I'm working on it."

"No, you're not. I'm not trying to be an arse, Cub, I'm just worried about you. I want to help, if ye're comfortable with that."

"I know. You don't have to, though."

Snake cast a dubious glance my way. "Okay, well, I know ye're not going to therapy for it, after last time. Have ye thought about seeing a nutritionist, or a dietician?" His voice was even, calm, and there was absolutely no hint of judgment, and for some reason, that just pissed me off more.

"No, and I don't want one," I said, letting the bite of harsh finality slip into the statement. "I don't need help."

I knew Snake was a kinder, meeker soul than most (barring his explosion a few days ago when Fox and I had our shouting match), and I really did like him, but he apparently didn't know how to let things go. "Don't bullshit a bullshitter, Cub, it's unbecoming."

I scoffed, turning away. "What's your bullshit, then?"

Snake shrugged, casual and unconcerned. His voice was soft and even. "Take your pick, mate. I'm a host of unresolved issues that I like to ignore."

I eyed him, feeling familiar suspicion creep in at his peaceful honesty, and said, "Truth for a truth, then?"

Snake glanced at me. "Want my story?"

"If it's okay."

"Sure. It's not happy, but it doesn't bother me, much. It's long, though. Is that okay?" I nodded. He led me past produce and towards the bakery, telling his story as easily as if we were talking about the weather. "My mum was a prostitute, my da was one of her customers. Surprisingly enough, it was my mum who didn't want me, and my da who did. My da wasn't by any means an upstandin' citizen, but he was there when I needed him.

"He died when I was twelve, crashed his car on some bender, and I went to an orphanage. It was fine, not the best, not the worst. Somebody adopted me when I was thirteen, and returned me in six months, so I stayed there awhile longer, made some good friends. I still keep in touch with some of them. When I was sixteen, another couple took a crack at it, and that was fine for a while. Still, I think they were the only couple in the whole world who didn't want their kid—adopted or otherwise—to be a doctor, for reasons I've never understood. They brought me into the Catholic church, which I still really love, and I'll always be grateful for that. But then I came out as bi, and that didn't go over well. They let me stay til I was eighteen, then kicked me out."

I blanched a little, because he said it so casually. So easily. I didn't think anyone deserved that, no matter how they identified. I thought about telling him that Tom was bi on instinct, but I didn't want to out Tom. "I'm sorry," I said instead, though it felt inadequate.

"Nah, it's fine. We didn't get on well in the first place, so their rejection really wasn't very personal, at least to me. Still, I didn't have a lot of savings, or possessions, so it put me in a bit of a bind. I worked my arse off and managed a partial scholarship to a community college in Carlisle, so I worked full time and did school part time, so my degree took a while. It was only cause of God that I managed it. I was flat broke, couldn't find a job even with a pre-med degree, so I joined the SAS."

"Why couldn't you find a job?" I asked, absently eyeing the pastries we passed. Snake didn't even ask my permission, just followed my gaze and plucked two boxes of pastries from the pile, ignoring my look.

"Economy was bad," he said simply, still calm. Infuriatingly calm for such a turbulent childhood. "Plus I didn't have any references or connections, barely enough money for rent, and not a lot to fall back on. I was a little too idealistic about starting out," he admitted with a rueful smile in my direction.

"So I figured I could use my skills in the army as a medic, and joined the SAS. Selection was a bugger, and I'll admit I was a little thrown off with you in the mix, but I met the guys. Wolf and I got to know each other quickly—we balance each other out. He lets me know when I'm letting people walk all over me, and I let him know when he's being an arse."

Snake's eyes wandered, but even as he scanned prices, his gaze became far away, and he smiled a little. I kind of thought it was the most emotion he'd shown in his whole story. "After Selection was over—you left early, so this didn't happen for you—we had family day. It's where all the recruits who pass Selection have their families visit as a congratulations celebration." I kind of remembered Family Day from joining as Matthew, but I'd spent all of it hiding out by the lake, so I didn't know what went on.

"Eagle's parents came, Fox's parents and brother came, and a lot of Wolf's family came, but I knew I didn't have anyone to call. I hid out most of the day until Wolf stomped in and dragged me out. Didn't even say a word at first. When I asked what he was doing, he said, 'My family's too bloody big, so I have plenty to share.'"

I smiled at nothing even as Snake laughed at the memory. That sounded like something the Wolf I knew now would do, but I wouldn't have expected it of him so soon after Brecon Beacons. "I'm glad he's not so much of an arse now," I admitted.

"Yeah, me too. I'll never say he didn't treat you horribly, because he did, but it wasn't all his fault," Snake said, finally letting a little bit of sorrow creep into his words. Figures it would be for someone else, and not for him. That seemed like Snake. "He joined the SAS because his cousin was KIA in Iran. Dropped out of school and started Selection just a few weeks after they were notified. They were really close—she was more like his sister than his cousin, really. Her name was Valeria."

We continued walking like nothing had happened, and he talked a little more about how he'd hit it off with Wolf and Wolf's family, and how they'd more or less demanded that he come home with Wolf on breaks, and that was how they'd gotten so close, but I wasn't paying much attention anymore. Something ugly was squirming in my chest, and I was preoccupied.

I'd hated Wolf.

Of course, I didn't now, now that I knew him and he was gruffly nice, roughly honest. Wolf was a much better man than the one I met in Brecon Beacons, and I'd more or less given him a blank slate when the guy had been shot saving me from Eva Stellenbosch. Still, there had always been the memory in the back of my mind of how shitty he'd made my life in that hellish camp.

How he took me at my lowest, when I'd just lost the last blood relative I had, someone I loved and admired and needed, and pushed and taunted and belittled me. How he'd taken my awful situation and turned it into eleven days of watching my back, constantly waiting for the next taunt or threat. How he'd made me hate everything about my situation. I didn't yet know that Yassen had shot Ian, and I didn't yet know what horrible things Jones and Blunt would make me do, and I didn't yet know that there were far, far worse monsters in the world than Wolf. I was young and naïve, and Wolf was there. I had so much hatred piled up, and so I'd hated him.

Whatever glowing embers of that mindless hatred that still clung to life were quickly and completely extinguished, because I didn't know that he'd been grieving, too.

It wasn't an excuse. Of course, I knew that. I'd been grieving for the past two years straight, and I'd never let myself take it out on anyone else that directly or that horribly, and Wolf was older than me. Still, I'd mostly separated the two beings in my mind—the prick from Brecon Beacons, and the rough-around-the-edges maniac who cooked way too much food and transformed into a middle-aged mother without really realizing it. It had been easier to separate them, because I couldn't really believe they were the same person.

Now that the two were reconciled, it was…I dunno, odd. Weird. I hadn't been one to hold onto hatred before MI6, and after MI6, hatred seemed to be the only thing that kept me alive. Underneath the hatred was numbness that was far scarier—hatred gave my heart a reason to beat when nothing else did, so I held onto the hatred, even when I shouldn't have, Wolf being an early example.

I couldn't hate him after this, not even that part of him from Brecon Beacons.

"Cub? Ye with me?"

I blinked myself back into the present, focusing on Snake's face. We'd made it to the meat and poultry section without my even noticing. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

"Ye don't have to be sorry," Snake said. "I know it was a little long-winded."

"No, it's not that," I said quickly. I didn't want to seem like Snake's life story was boring, or anything. "That's…uh…I was thinking about what you said about Wolf. I just…I didn't know."

"Oh. Well, nobody knew. He didn't tell me until last year, around the year anniversary of her death, and I think that was only because he was drunk off his arse. I don't even know if Eagle and Fox know, to be honest, so…keep it quiet?"

I nodded. "Of course."

He gave me a smile, easy and calm. He looked nothing like a foster child who'd been passed around and rejected and evicted, who'd scraped himself off the pavement after each shove and worked towards his medical degree. Damn. Now I couldn't be mad. That sucked.

We finished shopping, dropped off the food at the flat and left it for Wolf and Eagle to sort through, then went out to eat. Snake rejected Fox's wish to come with—I figured he wanted to talk more about my not eating, which sucked.

Luckily, I'd healed enough to not need my crutch, so moving around was easier, even in the bitter cold. We parked in a garage and walked a few blocks through frost-bitten streets, and I scanned rooftops each time we crossed. I thought Snake might've noticed, but he didn't say anything. Out of habit, I lingered just a little in front of a sports store window, checking out the sales on their footie gear.

"Want to go in?" Snake asked, his breath clouding in front of him as he shoved his gloved hands into his pockets, looking up at the store's sign. Sports Mania. "Unless you want to eat now."

I shrugged, feeling almost forlorn as I looked at the cleats and jerseys. "I don't think I'll have much time for sports in the near future."

"Hobbies are good anyway," Snake said, taking my elbow and more or less dragging me through the door despite my half-hearted protests. The blast of heat felt nice as he shook snow from our coats, hanging them on the complimentary rack by the door. I nodded at one of the standard greetings from the employee at the checkout aisle. "Plus, depending on the sport, it might be good rehab for your leg. We can look around."

I scowled, but shrugged. I supposed it wouldn't hurt.

"Oh," I said in realization, scanning the aisles of sports paraphernalia, "this might be a good time to shop for Tom."

"Tom, your friend? From L-Unit's flat?"

"Yeah," I said, unable to stop myself from grinning as I remembered the other three's less than positive reactions. "You remember him?"

"Course I do," Snake said absently, picking up a basketball and tossing it between his hands, paying me no mind. "He seemed nice. I'm glad you have a good friend like him."

I blinked as he wandered away, feeling strangely deflated by the mundane reaction. I supposed of all of them, that would come from Snake, though.

I didn't know why, but it felt strangely like I'd lost something, and it was frustrating.

Snake isn't scared of you, I texted Tom disappointedly as I headed for the football section, half-heartedly eyeing a snooker table as I went.

My phone buzzed two minutes later. thats fine 3 / 4 not bad plus snake seemed cool

I smirked to myself. He's nice.

Oh thats good

Are you allergic to apostrophes? Or punctuation in general?

shut up! see im not allergic

I smiled, sending him a peace sign emoji and putting my phone away, sighing as I scanned the shelves. Tom was almost as big of a footie geek as I used to be, so I couldn't imagine him not having any of the standard gear. I found a keychain he might like, and a poster of his favorite team I didn't remember from his room, which seemed like enough for today. I found Snake perusing the tennis section, and we checked out and dropped the bag off at the car.

"What do you want to eat?" Snake asked as we passed busy shops.

I squinted as the sun reflected off the snow and into my eyes, scanning the rooftops before we crossed the street. "Do you have any recommendations?"

"Mm, I like sushi," Snake offered. "There's a good place a couple blocks away. Yer leg okay?"

I nodded. "Sushi actually sounds kind of good," I mumbled. I hadn't had it in a long time.

Snake grinned. "Thank God for small miracles, then. Eat as much as you want."

I smirked at Snake's enthusiasm and followed him. The restaurant wasn't far, perhaps ten minutes away, and was built with a black and red theme indoors. Polished wooden tables and seats dotted the center, and there was a small bonsai garden and fountain in one corner, by the bathrooms. I saw a couple hibachi stoves on one side, but they didn't look like they were in use at the moment.

We sat, and I scanned the menu, sort of excited. I kind of loved sushi.

"I say this with all sincerity—order quite literally whatever ye want," Snake said seriously over his menu, sipping on the tea they'd just brought out. "I don't care what it costs."

I smiled reluctantly, even though was worry was stifling. "I doubt I'll burn a hole in your pocket, but thank you."

He gave me a few minutes of silence to look over the menu before he started up with another conversation, but I didn't mind. He did most of the talking, anyway. He told me a bit about medical school, and how it was kicking his arse, but he was excited to finally have his degree so he could explore more options for the future. He also told me about some of the friends he'd kept in touch with from his time in the orphanage, and they sounded like quite the characters. I was pleasantly surprised to find myself laughing a bit—after the slump of the last few days, the levity was nice.

I made my way steadily through miso soup and two sushi rolls before I felt completely full, almost sluggish. "I can't eat anymore," I complained as Snake continued to put away food like a starving animal.

"That's fine. That must be some record for ye," he said casually, stabbing into a ginger salad with a startling amount of gusto. "God, I love Japan. Their food's ace."

I smiled at Snake's obvious delight. "Well, this place was good. I wouldn't mind coming back here." He smiled at that and continued to eat—I didn't know where he put it all. He was actually really skinny.

I sipped on my tea and thought for a few minutes, about how alarmingly full I felt after what really wasn't that much food. Of course it worried me, but I was so worried about a million other things, it wasn't high on my list of priorities.

Still…Snake was a doctor. Almost, anyways. And he seemed disproportionately concerned. Maybe, at least for my stay here, I could address it. The last thing I wanted was for L-Unit to notice how much weight I'd lost and freak out as soon as they got back.

"…I really don't know why I can't eat much," I said quietly to fill the silence, tapping my fingers on the table, reminded of Jessie. I saw Snake abandon his salad in favor of looking at me, eyes calm and focused. "I used to eat a lot. Then I had…some other issues, and I didn't eat much because I didn't have much. Then…I just wasn't hungry. I never felt like eating."

Snake swallowed his food and nodded. I could see cogs turning in his brain, tipping his glass a bit onto its edge as he thought. "I have a couple ideas on what it might be. We can go over them later, though, somewhere more private. Are ye okay with that?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I figured he'd dumped a lot of information, so the least I could do was hear out his concerns.

Snake smiled, pointing his fork at me. "Ye look better when ye smile, kiddo."

His open eyes and steadfast expression as he said that made me laugh, light and airy. It wasn't like the laughter I'd shared with Tom, the kind that was funny but hurt in deep, horrible ways. It was like helium in a balloon, like some of the sorrow was floating away as I chuckled at Snake's words.

It was a good feeling.

A/N: Yeeee. I lovelovelove Snake. And Wolf. And Eagle, bless his frantic little heart, he's so scared. And FOX. We will see more of Fox next time :) but for now, Snake and Wolf are my babies and I love them. I hope you love them too hehe

So this is random, but if you guys could send prayers or good vibes or nice thoughts my way, I'd really appreciate it! I'm currently in the middle of applying to grad schools for Creative Writing, and I'm applying to some suuuuuuper competitive programs, and I'm haha scared. All thoughts appreciated. Thanks :D

REVIEWS! You guys ROCK! So MUCH!: Cortanacordeliacarstairs, CoffeeAndOafLeaves, scarlettmeadows, KMER79, NeleWW, Guest, snapshotz, BooBoo33, Atheriia, M-chanchen, Guest, Jess, Padfoot's Marauder, Guest, SingSweetNightingale88, Riderkitty, Asilrettor, seth 8627, Knighted-Geek, Guest, reginamare, Sakshi06, MummaMoon, Psycho Wing, Hoppy854, ElNonie, Dobby and Padfoot, Leticia99, TaliaTMNTdrea, storyspinner16, and Night Riders!

Cortanacordeliacarstairs: ahhaha thank you so so much for the kind words! :D And I totally get what you mean, I know it's going kind of slow right now, but that's just because I have so much I want to do with K-Unit and L-Unit has to be back by Christmas, and if my math is right this chapter took place on December 17th…so we're on a time crunch, lol. Thanks for the suggestion though, I'll keep it in mind!

Guest (Ahhh yes more chapters!): Thanks!

Guest (Omg I'm tearing up): Thank you! I'm sorry haha XD

Jess: THANKS I'M GLAD

Guest (I remember this story from way back…): Hahaha yeah, lots of words! XD Omg thanks! I'm glad you love L-Unit I love them so much! Hehe, yes, that will be a problem a little. I'm glad you like the K-Unit bonding! Thank you!

Guest (Wow, two chapters in three days…): Thank you! I know I love Ben. I'M SO GLAD YOU SAY THAT I was so worried people would get bored X'D. Alex deserves the world. BUBBLE WRAP FOR EVERYONE Thanks!

Reginamare: No worries! Hahaha Wolf is everything XD Yes I miss Lion so much. Nope! Google translate all the way XD Yeah same!

THANKS I LOVE YOU ALL I'M TIRED BYE