I was undeniably excited to be back with L-Unit and go…home, home to a place I felt welcomed and safe, but leaving K-Unit was admittedly bittersweet.

I didn't think it would be, when I first arrived, but I felt like we'd grown into each other, after a little bit of broken walls and exposure. I felt really comfortable with Snake, and Eagle had shown me vulnerable parts of himself, and Wolf was…well, Wolf, but a little more manageable. And Fox…

Well, I felt like I knew Fox a lot better, now. And I figured that would help us going forward. I knew I could trust him, not only with the secrets we shared, but with some of the darker parts of myself. He shied away, sometimes, but he always came back, and…for right now, that was enough.

We left after dinner and kind of an awkward goodbye, my bag hitched over Lion's shoulder despite my protests. Bear had already taken Tiger down to the car to get him settled. I did one last sweep in the living room and bathroom to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything, but I hadn't brought very much to begin with. Fox had helped me lug Lion's keyboard and the other presents I'd bought into the back of the car while they were distracted at dinner, though Lion noticed my absence with a quirked eyebrow. I just sent what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

After dinner, I helped clean up a little, or tried to—Snake sent me to finish packing, which didn't take very long. I wished Eagle luck in proposing to Evie, though I insisted he wouldn't need it, and wished Wolf luck with his huge family. I told Snake happy early birthday, since it was tomorrow.

Fox stole my phone and double checked that his contact information was present and correct, then shoved it back into my hands. "Call me if you need anything."

I tucked my phone in my pocket and nodded, shifting. "Um—sorry about—yeah. All the—stuff." The mirror, the flashback in the mall, Fox's mum, disappearing…all that. I scratched my ear, embarrassment warm in my cheeks.

"Don't sweat it. Everything's fine, anyway," Fox assured, glancing back into the flat, where the other three had largely gone back to their respective duties. Lion leaned against the open doorway of the flat, waiting patiently. "You—you're—dammit," Fox muttered, and I felt my eyes pinch in concern and confusion.

"I'm what?" I asked when he didn't continue.

"You're a bloody danger magnet," he finally spouted. "So I'm serious. If you need me, call me, and I'll be there. For real this time, okay?"

I blinked, a little taken aback by the vehemence in his tone, in the determination in his stance that just bordered on desperate. Of course, I knew, now. I—I knew it would take a while for my mind to catch up with my logic, but…logically, I did know. Fox had said it so many times, and been such a steady presence in the mall, and…and I believed, even if I didn't know yet. Even if it wasn't a knee-jerk reaction of blind faith, it was something I could tell myself with confidence.

It was something more than what I'd come with.

"…okay," I said, holding my hand out to shake his.

Predictably, he rolled his eyes and gave me a hug.

I stiffened on reflex, my mind yelling danger, danger, danger before I forced my muscles to relax, tentatively patting his back before wriggling away. I knew I was safe around them—it was going to be a test of mind over matter. I wasn't used to being hugged anymore—Jack gave me lots of hugs, but Ian was never one for physical affection, except on rare occasions or really good days, and Sabina…she was more of a hand-holder. Looking back, I thought it might have been because she didn't want to startle me, or set me off with too much.

Fox didn't have any such inhibitions.

"See you soon, Cub," he said with a wink, deliberately using my codename.

I smiled a little, waving a hand. "You too. Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, back at you. Keep him out of trouble, would you?" He directed at Lion, ignoring my narrowed eyes.

"Tall order," Lion smirked, also ignoring my eye roll, pushing off the door frame. He sounded friendly enough, but his tone was a little off. "Have a good holiday."

Fox waved once more and shut the door, and Lion and I headed for the stairs, after I assured him I didn't need the elevator. The stretch was good for my leg, anyhow.

We made it two floors in stretched silence before he said, "If it makes you uncomfortable, when he hugs you or stuff, you know you can say so," Lion said, pointedly staring out in front of us, avoiding my eyes.

I glanced at him, shrugging a little. I could tell he was trying to be casual about it, but he also seemed genuinely bothered. "I mean, I don't…love being touched, but I don't think I'm going to stop Fox from doing what he wants. Besides, I know he won't hurt me," I assured, "and I figured he'd do something like that anyway. I just need to get over it."

Lion sent me a look, settling for rolling his eyes when I returned it with one of my own, and hitched my bag higher over his shoulder. "Alex, sometimes when people hurt you for a long time, it takes your body a lot longer to distinguish friend from foe. And that's okay," he stressed as I held the door open for him, slipping onto the busy street beside him, my hackles instantly up.

Despite the late hour, it was two days before Christmas, the time for notoriously late gift-givers to spring out of hiding and swarm the place. K-Unit's flat building was on a street just off a main road, so there were a decent number of people milling in the dim streets.

I half-heartedly hummed at his comment, distracted by all the people around. I hardly heard his frustrated sigh over the slightly elevated, hard bass thump of my heart in my ears as I scanned and dodge holiday crowds trying to get to the parking garage. A man in a hurry grazed my arm, and I had to fight every instinct in my body not to hit a defensive crouch, gritting my teeth at my own stupid reactions.

"I'm putting my hand on your shoulder," he said in warning before dropping a heavy arm around my shoulders, tugging my sideways and out of some of the traffic. I blinked in surprise, but he didn't seem bothered. "Don't brush me off, Alex. If you're uncomfortable, say something, and the people worth keeping around will respect your boundaries."

"But it's…I feel stupid," I admitted, eyes tersely following a man and woman who brushed a bit too close to me. "I know it's just Fox, like I know it's just you, and everybody else. I know you're not going to hurt me, so it's…it's so stupid."

He squeezed my shoulder lightly, letting go to lead us into the parking garage. "It's not stupid. It's an automatic reaction to a past trauma, which isn't stupid at all. Is PTSD stupid?"

I faltered, narrowing my eyes. "Well—no, but—"

"You do have PTSD, don't you?"

I followed behind, feeling frustrated. "Lion, you're not listening—"

"No, you're not," he said, fixing me with a look that conveyed just how unimpressed he was. "Do you think it's stupid that I flinch, sometimes, when people touch me without warning?"

Oh. Um.

I gaped for a second, not at the confession, but the question, because—well, what the hell did he think I was going to say? "Of course not! But—but it was for a long time for you," I said carefully, aware that we were standing exposed, in the middle of the garage. Talking about this—about Lion's shit father, his shit childhood, made me feel—like a live wire, almost. Exposed and uncomfortably out of my element. "And—I mean, I wasn't hurt like that, it wasn't abuse-" I faltered on the ugly word, a rock in my chest as I glanced up at him, but he didn't look upset. Like always, like always, he was just there and steady.

He gave me an exasperated smile and slowly dropped a hand on my head. "Just because we were hurt by different people and for different periods of time doesn't mean your responses are any less valid than mine. I know it might be hard to accept that, but I'll let you in on a secret," he said, tugging my elbow in the direction of the car. "Therapy helps."

I scowled. "No."

He laughed, low and easy. "I know. Just think about it." He fiddled with the sleeve of his jacket and passed something silver and shiny my way.

I took it automatically, and realized it was Smithers' watch. Sudden unease filled my chest as I slipped it on. "Did you use it?"

"Didn't have to," Lion assured, knocking on the passenger window twice as we approached, signaling Bear to unlock the doors. I glanced in the backseat, where Tiger was already passed out. "Everything went mostly to plan. But it was nice to have, just in case."

Relief was smooth and sudden, and I exhaled, feeling twenty pounds lighter. "Good. I—good. I'm glad."

Lion sent me another smile, and though he seemed distracted, it was genuine and real and stupidly comforting and I'd missed them, God, I'd missed them.

I'd thought the car ride back, somehow, would be a nonstop montage of constant chatter and talk, Bear vividly recounting all the nonconfidential components of their assignments, featuring good-natured but frequent corrections from Lion and multiple scathing interjections from Tiger, but it was mostly quiet. Tiger was asleep when we got to the car, and Bear followed almost immediately after. I sat in the backseat and met Lion's eyes in the rearview mirror more than once just to make sure he was still awake, but though tired, he seemed fine. My offer to drive was turned down, which was probably for the best.

I was fading fast myself by the time we got back to the flat. Unpacking was an ordeal left for the morning, though I did make Bear help me drag Lion's keyboard to the lift while Lion guided Tiger upstairs.

I stashed it in Elliot's room under the bed before I let myself look around again.

The plant, always wilted but somehow never fully dead, was sagging dangerously, so I gave it a generous glass of water from the sink. The shambles that somehow managed to operate as a tellie were familiar and old, the couch was worn, and it was nothing, nothing like my home in Chelsea. It really wasn't. We never had to want for anything—Ian had a lot of money, and it showed in our house and our things. This flat wasn't poverty, but it wasn't wealth.

Still, crossing the threshold and feeling the way my shoulders almost instantly relaxed was like the same feeling—coming home after a long day of football practice and school, and coming back here after two weeks away.

The others were quick to sleep, and I wasn't far behind them.

…

I woke, quickly and suddenly, with a gasp.

The nightmare faded like smoke, and try as I might, I couldn't grasp it long enough to remember the specifics. There had been blood and bone and fear, but nothing more detailed.

Still breathing hard, I threw an arm over my eyes to block the sunlight streaming through the window, remembering surprisingly quickly that I was in Elliot's room, at L-Unit's flat. Familiar and safe.

Safe.

I sighed, shaky and slow, trying to calm my racing heart, and wiped lingering sweat off my forehead. It was a nightmare—and not even one that I remembered. Not a might terror, not a flashback. I flexed my hand, pleased to find the ache from punching the mirror manageable, and slipped out of bed.

The clock read nine—later than I usually slept—so I expected the flat to be a little noisier than it was, but I was surprised to find the living room and kitchen empty. There was a note on the table scrawled in Bear's messy script.

Morning Alex / Tiger, whoever sees this first, Lion and I are out last minute-gift shopping. Tiger, go back to sleep! Alex, eat something!

I smiled absently and put the note back for Tiger, who I assumed was still asleep. I wondered if I had to wake him up every couple hours—isn't that what you were supposed to do for a concussion? I assumed they'd taken care of all that and cleared him before they came home, though.

I wasn't particularly hungry, but I knew one or both of them would ask if I'd eaten, so I forced down a piece of toast with jam. I fired off a Happy Birthday text to Snake before I called Bear, rooting around in the top two drawers for a long-sleeved shirt and some clean trousers.

It rang three times. "Hey, morning!"

"Morning," I said quietly, trying not to wake Tiger next door. "Bella called while you were away, she wants to talk to you."

"Oh, thanks, mate," he said, sounding distracted. There was a lot of chatter in the background. "Bloody hell, this place is packed. Sorry, Lion and I are scrambling—not exactly a lot of time to buy gifts while you're on an assignment. Apparently a bunch of other assholes had the same idea."

I smiled, heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. "Don't stress about it. Everything will be discounted after Christmas, if you want to wait."

"Ugh, no, that's a copout," he complained, his next words jumbled in the background. I thought he was talking to Lion. "Alright, thanks, mate. I'll call Bella. Did you eat?"

"Yes."

Silence.

"Yes, Bear."

"Alright, alright, whatever. What're you doing today?"

I shrugged before remembering he couldn't see me, toothbrush in hand. "Um. I dunno. I'm done shopping. I thought—" I paused, considering, and thought the idea actually sounded really good. "If Tiger's okay alone, I thought I might…go see Jessie? And, uh…well, the kids won't be at the youth center today, will they?" I brushed off the uncomfortable feeling of calling them kids, since most of them were my age.

"Aw, I think that'd be a great idea, but they're not," Bear confirmed. "Um…I'll ask Bella if she has an address for Jessie and Mahika."

"Well, she said they were in a Women's Shelter now," I said. "I'll text and ask which one. I'll just take the Tube." I wanted to let Bella tell him about Vihaan. She seemed excited to tell him, anyway, so I didn't want to take that.

I could practically hear Bear smiling through the phone. "Okay, that sounds great, mate. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you. You need any money?"

"Um. No?"

"Okay, just checking. Lion says hi. He says to eat."

"For the love of God, I did."

"Okay, geez, just making sure. Have a good day, kay? Be back tonight, we do presents Christmas Eve. Christmas is for food and family. And Lion goes to church, but we heathens just eat while he's gone, so no worries. My dad's coming in and Tiger's parents are coming in, and I think Jonah and Angie and Jacob are coming in, too."

I blinked. "Um."

That was. A lot of people. A lot of—of strangers. I knew in my head that they were family, family of people I knew and trusted and cared for, and that it would be fine. It would be fine.

But. But.

"Oh, this is probably kind of a lot, isn't it?" Bear said quietly, sudden understanding in his tone. "Sorry, mate, we were going to plan it all out, but we've been gone so we're kind of scrambling to finalize everything since getting in last night, and…yeah. We just didn't have a lot of time, you know?"

"No, um…I…I know," I stammered, absently realizing that I'd knocked my toothpaste off the counter. I didn't hear it hit the ground. "I'm not—I mean, it's—uh, fine—"

Words, Rider, I thought, taking a deep breath. "I. It's fine. I want—I want you to see your families. That's fine. I just, uh…"

"Just…a lot of unexpected new people," Bear finished slowly. "I know. Don't worry, I think it's only three new people, right? We'll stagger it."

Well, that sounded stupid. "That's stupid." Oh, had I said that out loud. "I mean—I'm not a kid. I'll be fine."

"You're a kid, idiot," Bear said, but the was no heat. "We'll work it out. Don't stress. Promise?"

"Yeah." No.

"Okay—I know—no, he'd hate that, what the hell?" I realized after just a second that he obviously wasn't talking to me, and stayed silent. "No, don't. Get him the—yeah, yeah, the red one." Ah. For Tiger, then. "Hey, sorry, I was saving Tiger from the literal worst shirt I've ever seen."

I smiled. "That's okay."

"Right. Yeah, but don't worry. Just have fun with Jessie, okay? Call us if you need us."

"I will. Have a good day."

"You too. Lion says don't do anything stupid."

"Ugh, seriously?"

Bear laughed. "Bye, mate."

"Yeah, bye."

I hung up, my toothbrush hanging listlessly from my fingers, the toothpaste still on the ground by my foot.

New people.

Christmas without Jack.

A lot of…of people.

I supposed I had my work cut out for me.

…

I glanced at my phone to reference the directions once more before stopping in front of the Women's India Association of the UK (WIAUK) complex. It was a fair-sized townhouse nestled in a row of look-alikes, painted white and stark against London's rusted grey streets. It had taken a little while to get here, but I was glad I did.

I saw one car parked outside—I knew it was Christmas Eve, but I assumed someone was there with Jessie and Mahika, perhaps taking calls or something. I knocked hesitantly, stepping back and glancing over my shoulder out of habit, pocketing my phone. I held the gift bag with Jessie's present tightly.

I shuffled from foot to foot for a moment, trying to will feeling back into my fingers—I'd walked over twenty minutes from the Tube station, and it was bloody cold—but when no answer was forthcoming, I nudged the door open. "Hello?" I said quietly, peering inside. There was a neat mahogany desk just inside, on the left, and a narrow staircase leading to the second and third floors. A doorless archway led to a sitting room with comfortable-looking armchairs, and past that was a compact kitchen.

I shook the snow off my shoes before stepping inside and closed the door behind me. I hesitantly tapped the bell on the desk, praying desperately that I wasn't disrupting anyone or anything.

It only took a few more seconds for a plump Indian woman to appear out of thin air to my right, and I jumped back, startled.

She didn't speak immediately, looking me up and down, and I got the distinct feeling of distrust, maybe even hostility. I felt my hackles rise quickly.

"We're closed," she said in accented English.

"Um." Words weren't coming easily, but I shifted a little, gesturing to the gift bag in my hand. "I'm here to—uh, see Jessie? And her mum Mahika. Jessie knows me."

On one hand, I understood her distrust—they were sheltering Jessie and her mum from an abusive man, so anyone asking for them would probably arouse some kind of suspicion. But I didn't have any way to prove I knew Jessie, and it wasn't like I could ask them to bring her down to confirm. I doubted the woman would go for that.

The woman eyed the bag a second too long and crossed her arms over her chest. "Who told you that those people were here?"

Ah. Asking for information without confirming or denying their presence here—I was glad the women who worked here seemed to be adept at dealing with uninvited guests. "Bella." I didn't know her last name.

Recognition was a fleeting spark in the woman's eyes, but something in her relaxed. "I'll go ask if they want to see you. If they don't, you leave, right?"

"Right, of course."

The woman eyed me again and pointed to the living room. "Wait in there. What's your name?"

"Matthew," I said. "Uh, Smith."

"Wait."

I waited.

The furniture was rich with both Indian and British influence, with thick velvet curtains embroidered with thin gold and firm pillows, yellow and red and light brown. The carpet was simpler, a trimmed rug with deep red and gold designs spanning the entirety of the living room, the trimming spilling over into the kitchen. I was almost afraid to sit back against the couch, since everything was so pristine. I sat pin straight, a little uncomfortable.

I hoped I wasn't interrupting Jessie and her mom. I thought maybe I'd made a mistake and they'd want to spend Christmas together. Plus, Mahika barely knew me. She may not be comfortable with me around her and her daughter after everything. If that was the case, at least I could wish Jessie a merry Christmas and give her the present.

Maybe I should go back to the flat anyway. I didn't know how much help Tiger would need—he seemed okay yesterday, drowsy but okay, but what if he needed help cooking or getting things ready for relatives, or—

I was interrupted by a pair of little feet practically stomping down the stairs in haste. I barely had time to stand up before I was knocked flat on my arse by a nine-year-old.

"Matthew!" She shouted, burying her face in my chest as I tried to readjust my arms around her, laughing quietly. Mahika appeared in the doorway just a second later, looking frantic until she laid eyes on Jessie.

"Hi, Jessie," I said, smiling a little awkwardly at Mahika. Mahika didn't quite smile, but she nodded, her worried expression smoothing. I narrowed my eyes as I took her in—her shoulders were hunched, her face was wrinkled in something like subconscious concern—and the bags under her eyes could rival mine. "Hi, um…I'm sorry, I don't know your last name." I didn't just want to call her Mahika—that seemed a little rude. I also had no idea what Indian honorifics were like.

Something eased in Mahika's expression for a moment. In heavily accented English, she said, "Mahika is fine. Hello again, Matthew."

I nodded, smiling as Jessie pulled back, beaming up at me. "Wh-what…are you do-do-doing he…here?"

"Well, I came to deliver your Christmas present," I said with a smile, grabbing the bag from where I'd set it on the floor. "Merry Christmas, Jessie."

Jessie's eyes lit up and she tore into the bag with the vigor of a starving animal. I wisely kept my hands out of the way.

When she finally unearthed the MP3 player from the ungodly amount of tissue paper I'd stuffed into the bag, it looked like she'd been handed the world.

She stared at it for a long moment. "What i-is…it?"

I almost snorted, choking on a laugh. I bit my lip and said, "It's something that can store music. So you can listen whenever you want. Here," I continued, fishing out the headphones and plugging them in, powering the device up. "See? If you click this button, you can see some songs," I said, scrolling with the analog buttons at the bottom, "and if you click this middle button, the song will play."

Gently, I put the headphones in her ears and played Radioactive, one of the songs we'd listened to together at the youth center. I watched, barely hearing the music drift out from her headphones as her eyes went wide. She stared sightlessly at the couch beside me, her fingers moving absently as she listened, and I waited patiently for the song to finish.

She took out the earbuds with clumsy fingers, staring at the sleek little device in her palm for a long second before looking at me. "It's…m-mine?"

"It's yours," I said with a pat on her head.

Nothing in the world could've been better than the star-bright grin that positively melted every shred of lingering cold in my body. She bounced up, throwing her arms around my neck again, and this time, she held on for a long time.

She was thin. Thin, and small. But she was safe, and this made her happy, so…so everything else could follow.

A hiccup came from the doorway, and I glanced up, startled that Mahika was still there. She'd been so quiet. Now, she had a hand tight over her mouth, one more tight against the archway's wall, and her eyes were shining.

I frowned, immediately worried I'd done something wrong, but I didn't want to say anything in front of Jessie. "I…uh, Miss Mahika?"

Mahika shook her head and said something in Hindi, to which Jessie responded in kind, popping the earbuds in and settling on the couch beside me, holding my hand tight with one of hers and drumming with the other. She looked questioningly at her mum, but she wasn't paying attention anymore, lost in the music in her mind. After a short few seconds, she closed her eyes, fully ensconced in whatever song was now playing.

"I…" I was startled by the raw emotion in Mahika's voice as she stood in the doorway, a little shaky. "I could not…we have nothing now," she said shakily, quietly, her voice quivering with the emotions pouring out of her shimmering eyes. I felt my body go tense—I didn't know how to…how to comfort a crying adult, a crying mum, I was so out of my element—but she continued, "I was so…so sad. Jessie would not get—get Christmas. We have no…no money."

She sobbed just once, just once, small and painful, but Jessie didn't hear it. I did, though, and it—God. It hurt. "Thank you."

I felt my eyes go wide. "I don't—I—" What did I say? What did I—how did I fix this? She was crying and, and I didn't…what was I supposed to do?

"I'm, um…I'm really glad I could help," I said slowly, honestly, trying to come up with something to fix this situation. "I…are you…what else can I do?" I asked a little desperately.

I didn't…this was very uncharted territory. I'd grown up attending a posh private school, living in a safe, expensive neighborhood, and I'd never thought I was better than anyone, but…I didn't know how to respond to a crying mum who was so upset she couldn't afford to give her daughter Christmas. I—I'd seen similar things, at the homeless shelters and halfway houses and youth shelters in America, but I was struggling with demons much darker than anything around me that I could see, so everything I perceived was distorted through a thick lens of sorrow and loss and aimless, hopeless wandering. I'd never been able to stop and think with a clear mind long enough to recognize the sorrow in the people around me.

Now that I was confronted with a problem I couldn't fix, I didn't know what to do.

But Mahika, with a watery smile, just shook her head. "No. You did good thing. Thank you."

Paralyzed by a sudden feeling of inadequacy, I could only nod and squeeze the little girl's hand in mine, watching as Mahika pulled herself together with the efficiency of a veteran. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I could do. I was glad, so so glad and grateful that I'd been able to give Jessie something good, something important, but that didn't change the fact that Vihaan, that bastard, had left them like this.

I couldn't fix it.

The realization was startling and sudden.

I couldn't fix it.

I didn't know why I felt such a strong obligation to fix, but I couldn't, and that…

That was…heavy.

That was really, really heavy.

…

Mahika and Jessie and I spent the next few hours together.

It was nice. It was bitterly cold, but it was nice. The park down the road was filled with half-melted snowmen, maimed by the recent warn front, but icicles hanging from the trees reflected the currently bitter conditions. I breathed into my hands, shoving them under my armpits as I watched gather a decent-sized snowball and start rolling it around. I should've bought some gloves while I was out.

Eventually, it got too big for her to roll, so I helped her shove it end over end around the snow-laden park until it was too big to feasibly roll. Mahika laughed, light and airy, when Jessie and I nearly faceplanted in the snow trying to roll it once more.

We started on the second body piece, which was much easier, but it took all three of us to lift it onto the bottom part. It took another ten minutes to pack the crease with enough snow to ensure it wouldn't list to either side too terribly.

Jessie was very particular about the head, so Mahika and I left her to her own devices on that one. I sat on a park bench, my hands under my thighs, and hoped I didn't get frostbite. Bear was going to kill me.

Eventually, when it was just right, I picked up Jessie under he arms and managed to hold her up just high enough for her to situate the head, my arms shaking, then quickly set her back down.

"St-sticks!" She declared with all the force of a drill sergeant, ordering us around the trees on the fringe of the park to search for the perfect arm and nose sticks.

I hadn't built a snowman in ages. Probably not since before—before everything with MI6. I must've been…wow, had I really been thirteen the last time I'd made one of these? That felt like so long ago. It felt like someone else's life.

It felt like someone else's dream.

I returned with two sticks I thought might pass the inspection and a handful of rocks for the mouth and eyes. Jessie declared one of my sticks abhorrently unsatisfactory (my words, though her variation wasn't too far off) and tossed it away, but said that the other was passable. I thanked her for her generosity.

For the last part—the face—I put her on my shoulders and Mahika stood at her back to keep her steady as she worked tirelessly on the face. She was methodical in her design, and it did actually look very symmetrical for a nine-year-old's work. My legs were shaking by the time she was done, but it was worth it to see the smile on her face.

"Nice job, Jessie," I said, high-fiving her as she hugged her mum. Mahika's wet smile was back, but it was better than before—there wasn't nearly as much raw emotion, so it was manageable. "What do you want to name it?"

Jessie pondered, clutching tight to her mom's hand. "Um…Sn…Snow…Snowball."

Mahika barked a laugh quickly smothered by a gloved hand, and Jessie sent her mum a quizzical glance. I wasn't much better at containing my surprised laugh, but I tried. "Perfect."

Our masterpiece dubbed Snowball was given a grass necklace as a final touch. I glanced at my watch absently, surprised that it was already mid afternoon. It would take an hour to get back—I'd have to leave soon.

"Jessie," I said, crouching in the snow, flexing my fingers. She looked my way, and she was thin, and she was poor, and she and her mum were living on someone else's kindness, but damn if her eyes weren't so much brighter than the first time I met her. I smiled. "I have to go now. But I'm really glad I got to spend Christmas Eve with you and your mum."

Something fell in her expression, but she was quick to recover, hugging me again and squeezing me tight. "M…merry Christmas, M—Matthew."

"Merry Christmas, kiddo," I said quietly. "I'll see you again soon, yeah?"

She nodded into my shoulder and stepped back. "I didn't get you a present." She looked so guilty it could almost look like heartbreak.

I scrambled, glancing at Mahika for help, and Mahika nodded gently to the snowman. "Oh, um…but I got to build Snowball with you," I said quickly. "I like building snowmen. That was an awesome present."

Her eyes sparkled. "Really?"

"Really."

She grinned, and it was forgotten. "Come back soon."

I nodded, smiled, and patted her head again. "Of course." I glanced at Mahika, unsure of how to say goodbye. "Um—please, uh—let me know. If I can do anything. I—" I paused, glancing at Jessie, who was watching me with confused eyes. "I don't know how to, um…"

Mahika settled a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I managed to bite down a flinch, glancing at her. She was barely shorter than me. "Thank you. But this is not your problem to fix, pyaare bete. Merry Christmas."

She dropped her hand, and Jessie waved me goodbye with a toothy grin, and I watched them walk down the street and inside the WIAUK.

Snow wafted down around me for a long minute before my feet could move again.

…

I felt like a popsicle by the time I finally made it back to the flat, shivering up a storm. I fumbled with the key more than once before I realized the door was unlocked.

"Hello," I called, hanging up my soggy coat by the door and slipping off my squishy shoes by the mat. I shoved my hands into my pockets.

"Hey, Alex," I heard Lion call from the kitchen. I trudged in, letting artificial warmth seep into my bones the closer I got to the stove, and leaned my hip against the counter as I watched him stir something. He sent a smile my way, his eyes sliding up to my damp hair and frozen ears. "You look cold."

"Um. I am," I admitted. "It's cold outside."

Lion raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Do you want to grab a quick shower?"

I took my throbbing hands out of my pockets and held them up to the pot. "I should probably thaw out a little first."

I didn't need to look at Lion to feel his piercing stare, and shifted uncomfortably. "Your fingers are bloody white. Where the hell are your gloves?"

"I don't have any."

Lion didn't dignify that with an answer. Instead, he wordlessly poured a mug of coffee, still warm, and eased it into my frozen fingers. "Go sit down and warm up, okay? Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"What do you want to eat?"

I glanced at the stove, but I wasn't exactly sure what was in the pot beneath all the condensation on the top. "Do we have soup?"

Lion smiled a little. "Sure. Give me a few minutes."

I did, sipping slowly on the warm coffee until Lion came in with a bowl of soup and a spoon. I felt a little better, thawing from the inside out, and sipped at it slowly. Chicken noodle soup, with thin noodles and soft chives and shredded chicken.

Lion sank down beside me, closing his eyes for a second. I supposed he was still tired.

"How was shopping?" I asked quietly.

Lion smiled, eyes still closed. "Good. Hectic. God, at least we had an excuse for waiting so late to buy gifts. I couldn't believe how crowded it was."

I half-smiled at that. Jack loved going last-minute shopping, even though she was always done with everyone's gifts weeks before Christmas. "Did you find everything?"

"Mm-hm, somehow," he said, blinking his eyes open. "I bought Tiger's stuff for Bear and Bear bought Tiger's stuff for me, too, so everyone has everything they need now."

I hummed in acknowledgement, blowing on the soup. "You look tired," I commented, watching him carefully.

He slid his eyes over to meet mine, smirking a little helplessly. "So do you."

I paused, and shrugged. I didn't have a good answer. "Where are Bear and Tiger?" I asked instead.

"Bear's out getting his dad from the airport. He's going to take him to his hotel and bring him here tomorrow morning, so we'll do gifts and stuff after he gets back. Tiger's sleeping."

I felt my eyes narrow, a familiar spark of worry catching fire in my stomach. "Still?"

"No, he was up when we got home," Lion assured. "He just needs a lot of sleep."

"Oh. Good." I nodded at the assurance. "Concussions suck."

"You've had one?" Lion asked, going for nonchalant. I nodded. "Was it from an…assignment?"

I glanced at him, very carefully keeping my face blank. "No, actually. It was a football injury in primary school." Jack had been frantic, and Ian had nearly cut his work trip (probably a mission) short when we'd finally gotten ahold of him. I smiled a little at the memory with the knowledge I had now. I wondered how it would've gone over if he'd asked whatever mastermind was trying to destroy the world to delay his plan for a week or so, so he could run home and check on his concussed nephew.

"You seem…down," Lion said hesitantly after a second of silence, and I glanced at him, a little surprised. He was looking at me intently, his eyes searching mine for something he couldn't find. "K-Unit said you…didn't seem the best."

I tensed a little, thinking of all the things that went wrong there, and lowered my eyes. "Sorry. I know it's Christmas."

"You don't have anything to apologize for, I just want to know if I can do anything to help."

My immediate instinct was to deny it and move on, move away, and continue to rebuild my fractured walls brick by brick. My immediate instinct was to ignore the concern and the care and the genuine worry in his voice, in his stupidly even and open voice. It was so immediate that my mouth was open to dismiss him when I realized it.

I closed my mouth without saying anything, and took another sip of soup.

I was warm, and I felt safe, and…I was tired.

I was really, really tired.

"I don't, um…" I fidgeted, feeling repressed emotions, forbidden memories, stir as the words formed. It was uncomfortable and achy and it…it hurt. "I…Jack. What have I…told you about Jack?"

Lion's eyes narrowed. He thought for a moment, and spoke carefully, slowly, like each word was being chosen with the utmost intentionality. "Not much at all. I just know that she seems important to you."

I smiled a little, staring sightlessly at the wilting plant. Maybe we should buy a new one, but…I kind of liked the stubborn thing. "She was my…um…Ian travelled. For work, all the time. Eventually he hired Jack as a nanny slash housekeeper, since he couldn't leave me alone all the time. She was American. She was studying to be a lawyer."

I blinked, and the warmth was suddenly too warm, too warm, too warm, like the heat of fire through a screen. I put the bowl down, feeling shaky.

Lion was watching intently, obvious concern in his eyes, but I forced myself to look away and keep talking. It was—it was Lion. This was okay. "I can't tell you yet, how everything happened. I'm really sorry. There's just—a lot. But, she…she died. In a really awful way."

Maybe my mask slipped, maybe Lion could see past the blankness and see something in my eyes that I couldn't keep buried, because he took my wrist with a quiet warning and pressed thawing fingers to his own wrist. "Easy. Take your time."

It wasn't a coping mechanism I'd ever seen, but it was oddly comforting to feel Lion's steady heartbeat beneath my fingers.

"I just…she loved Christmas," I said quietly. "And it's my—my first one without her, and—"

I stopped, and swallowed the emotions threatening to surge. I beat the waves back with nothing but will and withering dignity, but somehow, it was enough.

Not enough to stop the next admission.

"I don't know how to do this without her, Lion."

The words broke something inside me, something raw and open. A wound scabbed over, picked at, and scabbed over again, becoming sensitive scar tissue, had been split. Blood in the form of painful words was spilling over, and I couldn't stop it. It was a wound I didn't think would ever heal beyond a bloody scar.

I focused on the thrum of Lion's pulse, a little faster than before, but still even. Still steady. Present.

"I'm sorry that happened," he said quietly. "Thank you for…for telling me that. I'll listen to the rest when you're ready." He paused when I nodded. I didn't know—what else to expect him to say. What were the right responses to the kinds of things I revealed?

"I don't know…I don't know how to make this easier for you other than to tell you that we're not going to replace her," Lion said slowly, "but you can rely on us, too. I know tomorrow is going to be hard, but just know that…we understand, and we're going to be here when everything is said and done. Okay?"

I suddenly felt frustrated by his words, because—because—

"You keep saying that," I said. "You keep saying that it doesn't matter what I haven't told you and you'll be here no matter what and no matter what I say we'll figure it out, but you don't know—"

You know my name is fake, and you know I'm being hunted, but you don't know it's by the people you've sworn loyalty to. By MI6, your boss's bosses. You don't know that your hiding me could lead to the end of your careers, if you're lucky, and your lives if you're not. You don't know that you're hiding a runaway—I'm sixteen and I don't know what I'm doing and I'm scared.

"…you don't know. You don't know. And that's my fault, but I can't…you can't make that promise, Lion, because if you knew everything, you'd know that I shouldn't be here."

My knuckles were white as I clutched Lion's wrist almost on instinct, subconsciously anchoring myself to the present as I searched his eyes. "You don't know, and I'm sorry, but…how can you…how can you say that without knowing?"

Lion's eyes were calm, thoughtful, but there was something else in there. Something…darker than I usually saw. Something ugly that Lion—that Daniel didn't usually show.

"You're right. I don't know everything, and I'll say it as many times as I need to, that's okay," he said emphatically. "Alex, you—I know that it's difficult for you to trust people, but…I don't make promises I don't intend to keep. You know that much."

"No, I know that, but…I know you'll try to keep your promise, but once you know everything I'm scared that—" I stopped, censoring my words, and continued, "…I'm scared that you'll ultimately decide that the best thing for me is for me to…to not be…here."

How did I say that when he found out, he'd probably decide that the best place for me was in an orphanage instead of on the lines of a war? How would that even be a choice for someone as protective as Lion?

"Okay," Lion said slowly, eyes drawing together. "I don't understand."

I made a noise of frustration, throwing my free hand in the air and letting it fall, but the gesture didn't help at all. "I just mean—I—when you know everything, and I mean everything, I think any normal person would say that it would be better for me to be somewhere else."

"No, I understand that. What makes you think that's going to mean we won't be there for you anymore?"

The words were unexpected, and I faltered a little, blinking at him. "Huh?"

"Alex, even if we do decide you're better off somewhere else—and that's an if—it doesn't mean we'd never speak again. It doesn't mean we'd never see each other again," he said slowly, confused as if this wasn't anything surprising. As if this was normal.

I short-circuited.

I'd never thought of…that. Of the possibility that we'd still…be, after.

I didn't think I hid the surprise very well, because I could tell the exact moment Lion realized. His eyebrows shot up and his lips parted, but he didn't say anything for a long second.

When he did, it was all in a rush, the words barely distinguishable, but I heard them.

"Oh, kid. You thought—no. No, just because you'd be somewhere else, we wouldn't just drop you, of course we wouldn't do that," he scrambled to reassure me, ruffling my hair with one hand, leaving it to grip the back of my neck with reassuring pressure. He looked vaguely horrified. "Alex, if that why you've been so worried about us finding everything out? You thought this would be over?"

I couldn't speak for a moment, dumbstruck by the immediate reassurance, the thoughtless denial, the unwavering confidence in his voice. "But it—I lied," I said weakly.

"We've been over this, it's okay," Lion said firmly. "Lying is okay when you're afraid for your life. You're giving us the truth as quickly as you're comfortable, and that's okay, too. Even if we—even if I don't know everything about you, I know you, I know what you've shown me, and you're not a bad person, Alex. You're not someone who would do something bad if you didn't think it was necessary. No matter what happens, we'll be here."

He'd said it before, so many times, but that was the first time I'd actually believed him.

It didn't matter if nothing good happened for the rest of the year. I didn't think I'd care if I didn't get a single Christmas present for the rest of my life. I wouldn't care if I never another present at all.

The knowledge that once everything inevitably came bursting out I wouldn't inevitably be alone again was the best gift they could have given me.

"I don't know how to…to thank you," I said, quiet and strained and so, so small.

Lion's hand tightened on the back of my neck, and mine tightened around his wrist. His pulse was steady and sure.

"Just stay," he said. "Give us a chance to help you figure this out and stay."

"Stay," I repeated, dumbfounded. I laughed, hollow and small. "You don't have to ask me to stay. There's nowhere else I want to go."

And for the first time since I'd decided to jump from Cookham Bridge and leave everything behind, I meant it.

I meant it.

A/N: Omg okay so for all of the My Hero Academia fans out there, I just binged 117 chapters of the manga in one night and I am now caught up and distinctly not okay. Curse Chapter 306, UGH.

Okay. Anyways. Chapter! ALMOST CHRISTMAS! For them, not for us. Poor L-Unit, scrambling for presents after being away for so long. Don't worry, I think you guys will like them :) Ohhhhh next chapter there's gonna be a bit of a mystery, too ;)

Thanks so much for all the kind reviews and supportive comments! You guys rock: MillieM04, NeleWW, otterpineapple06, ryddance, onedemoniclily, Fox, OnlyABookworm, ElNonie, Psycloptic Furry, okvx, reginamare, Cakemania225, Em0Wolf, Asilrettor, Booboo33, storyspinner16, M-chanchen, Puff and Proud, Dobby and Padfoot, Double-oh-Cub, Lira, Cortanacordeliacastairs, MistyToryRabiyah, ShadowFox452, Knighted-Geek, AlexRiderFan, Lily, Guest, Guest, chlochloestla, and KC!

Fox: I'm glad! Thanks :) Hahaha I love them! Thank you!

ElNonie: Thank you so much!

Reginamare: That's ok, thank you! Ahhh I'm glad you liked it! It's okay, I'm glad you liked that one too! Haha yesss sweet Lion

Double-oh-Cub: Omg thank you, haha! Don't worry, I think everyone will get a POV eventually!

Lira: Omg this was so nice to read and so sweet, thank you so much! OMG NO I LOVE THE DRAWING, THANKS SO MUCH IT'S SO AMAZING! Please please please let me know if you draw anything else!

Cortanacordeliacarstairs: Aw thanks so much! And omg I'm honored that you would ask me to, and yes, I'd love to! I can't wait to read them! Haha I'd love to post more headcanons soon, too XD keep writing! No, I love long reviews :)

AlexRiderFan: Omg thanks! XD Ahahaha no worries, I often stray to the Marvel and All for the Game fandoms, so I totally understand! This was such a sweet review to get, and I can't thank you enough. Have a great day!

Lily: Aw thank you! I appreciate that! And yes, you're completely right. I hope you're doing okay! You as well!

Guest (Yet another AMAZING chapter!): AHHHH OMG THANK YOU! And I appreciate the positive comments :) have a great day!

Guest (Take all the time you need!): Thank you! :D

KC: Ahhhhh I know! Thanks so much!

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As always, you guys rock! Thank you!