"Right, yes, and then you put it in the—no, not like that—"

"Like this?" I asked, shakily holding a pan of caramelizing onions and trying to fold in a frankly disturbing amount of butter. Lion laughed softly and adjusted the pan, then modeled the fold and gave me back the reins.

Lion was teaching me how to make fajitas—Wolf and the rest of K-Unit were coming over for dinner, then we were going to go hit a bar to celebrate New Years a couple days late. Tom had flown back last week; I didn't know when I'd see him again, and the hole was more noticeable than I wanted to admit, but his company had still made these holidays so much more bearable without Jack.

"Please don't burn them, those are my favorites," Bear cautioned from the table, where he was tasked with cutting peppers.

"I'm trying," I assured, concentrating much more than I cared to admit. I was trying to match the color to how they looked in the picture, but they weren't quite there, and I didn't want to miss it.

"You're doing fine," Lion assured, patting my back. "Just don't burn them and put them in the bowl when you're done. I've got the meat seasoning ready to go, so focus on that."

Tiger was downstairs using a communal grill to cook some steaks that Lion would finish seasoning and pan-searing, which I was more than happy to leave to him. I could barely tell when eggs were done. Jack had been merciless when I gave her runny eggs or rubber eggs, the few times I was in charge of breakfast or dinner.

"I'm not sure cooking is my calling," I said eventually, clumsily scooping heaps of limp onions into a designated bowl.

"Well, I'm not sure chopping is mine, so you're fine," Bear commented, scraping several butchered pepper strips into the still sizzling pan to cook.

Lion peered over my shoulder to inspect Bear's work and shook his head. "I gave you the easiest job."

"Which I hope is telling. I'm gonna watch the tellie until you're done."

Tiger got back the same moment Bear turned on the tellie, and immediately said, "Hell bloody no. You're helping, you lazy arse. If I have to dirty something up so you can clean it, you're not gonna sit there while the rest of us slave away." He finished his declaration by confiscating the remote, shutting off the TV, and shoving it into his pocket.

Bear blinked. "That was mean."

"It's nice to meet you," Tiger said with a roll of his eyes as he put the steak on the cutting board for Lion, who started hacking away with scary proficiency.

It was warm in the apartment, the heater in the corner on full blast to combat the icy afternoon outside, but it was also warm because of the atmosphere and the laughter. Though I missed Tom, it seemed I could survive without him here all the time.

K-Unit arrived forty minutes later. I'd managed not to burn anything, though Bear had butchered some very unfortunate avocados, and their sacrifice was mostly in vain. Everything else worked out fine.

Feeling particularly brave today, I greeted Wolf with, "I still haven't listened to your voicemail from Christmas." The one after I accidentally taught his seven-year-old nephew a swear word.

Wolf rolled his eyes. "It'd be lost on you anyways, brat. My sister almost killed me."

"It was hilarious," Snake interrupted, shrugging off his coat by the door and sending me a smile. "How are ye, Cub?"

"I'm good," I replied, getting out of the doorway so they could get inside. "Congratulations, Eagle. You too, Evie."

Evie, who'd tagged along, grinned and gave me a hug. "Thank you, love! Did you get the pictures?"

I confirmed that I did and let her and Eagle pass, smiling at Fox. "Hullo."

"Evening," he said, stamping the snow off his boots and shivering once before taking his coat off, hanging it over Snake's since all the hooks were full. "How are you? Have you been eating?"

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the smile. "Yes, a little more. Haven't run off, either. How are you?"

"I'm ready to get drunk," Fox admitted. He'd said he was quite the partyer, and I was more than a little excited to see that side of him. His joyful grin turned into a frown, though, as he cut his eyes to me, lowering his voice. "If you even look at an alcoholic drink for too long, though, I'll kick your arse. I don't give two bollocks if the bartenders don't care about all the other underage idiots."

Mashing my lips together to keep from laughing, I gave him a thumbs up. He rolled his eyes and tousled my hair with a little more force than I thought strictly necessary. I latched the door behind us and went back to join the others.

Dinner was fun. I'd seen them all just a few days ago on New Year's, but I'd spent most of my time with Tom, so there hadn't been a lot of time for conversation. Eagle and Evie caught us up on a tentative timeline they'd put together for their wedding—they wanted it to be in October, when the leaves started changing. Their church usually liked to have weddings inside the church building, but they were going to ask for special permissions to have it outside on the grounds, instead.

"Ask them if they can get you a stepladder for the 'kiss the bride' bit," Fox commented under his breath. Evie kicked him under the table so hard he choked on his food, and I truly thought Snake was going to have to perform first aid. Instead, Snake started clapping.

Laughter was present and persistent throughout dinner, and we left a short while later for the bar. It was freezing cold outside, snow lining the roads and sidewalks, even short, flimsy icicles hanging in some of the darker shadows. The bar was busy enough to be loud, but not enough to be uncomfortable. There were booths on one side, tables in the center, and an open room with snooker tables on the other side; I wondered if I'd get to play tonight. I used to play before everything, but I hadn't done it in a while.

We showed our IDs at the front—I said a silent thank you to Smithers as we did so, for his excellent craftsmanship and connections—and asked permission to push a couple of tables together to sit comfortably. Bella, who'd also been invited but couldn't come to dinner, came in a few minutes later and sat beside Bear; Lion; Tiger, and I exchanged amused glances as Bella flushed and Bear tripped over his words.

If they didn't start going out soon, I was going to have a come-apart.

I looked around, taking in the surroundings and doing my usual scan for exits and entrances. The bar was in a very back, barely visible from our table, and the bathrooms were at the opposite end of the establishment, across the dance floor towards the back. It didn't look too club-like—no strobing lights or anything, and the music wasn't overwhelmingly loud, but there were a good few people dancing. A tackboard across the store boasted a schedule for karaoke nights, a couple flyers on date-rape drug awareness, a calendar of events for the bar, and a couple other things I couldn't make out.

We ordered a round of drinks (I got a Coke, but I could still feel Fox glaring at me from across the table) and the conversation quickly shifted to work, but it was funny stories or competitions. Nothing to trigger any unpleasant memories, which was nice, for a while.

"Okay, okay, I've got one," Bear said quickly after Bella and Evie (who had become best friends instantaneously, I supposed) had stepped away to go to the bathroom. "Weirdest place you've ever been sent for a mission. Mine's the jungles in Paraguay. Bloody hot."

"The underground tunnel system in Portland, Oregon," Lion said immediately, as if he'd been waiting for just that. He wasn't drinking, either, of course; he'd gotten some kind of virgin daquiri. It looked pretty good, actually. "Bloody dark."

"Nope, I've got you beat there," Fox said, waggling his eyebrows and glancing at me. I got a bit nervous, thinking Fox was trying to start something with Lion again, but Lion just smiled diplomatically and nodded for him to continue. "Try the Malaysian rainforests. God, I had bugs in all my stuff for weeks."

"Not even close," Eagle shook his head. "Georgian swamps in America. Bloody hell, those things were disgusting."

I laughed at that, remembering Sabina's postcard about the vacation they'd taken there once. Her appraisal was much the same.

Tiger answered—Jakarta mountains, and Snake said he didn't have anything memorable.

Soon enough, everyone was looking at me.

"…I don't think I can tell you that," I said honestly, taking a sip of Coke to delay the inevitable.

"You can tell us where," Eagle pressed, dropping his chin into his hand and raising his eyebrows in curiosity. "Nobody will ask for specifics."

"I might," Bear admitted, already two drinks in and going strong. A swift kick from Tiger had him correcting himself. "Not. I might not. Geez, didn't let me finish, mate."

Tiger rolled his eyes.

I contemplated, recognizing that I was trying to be more open, and while it might freak them out, it wouldn't reveal anything truly damning. Maybe shocking and worrying and frightening, but nothing that would do more than freak them out.

"…you're not going to believe me," I said honestly, shifting a bit as I fiddled with my glass.

"C'mon, we've all got some weird ones, lad," Snake consoled. "I don't think there's much ye could say that would leave us shocked."

I smirked, not at all happy at the memory, but quite looking forward to the looks on their faces.

"Outer space. Well, lower Earth orbit specifically, but space."

I gave it a second, then risked a glance up, and wasn't disappointed.

Wolf was the easiest, because his expression hadn't changed at all. He just blinked. And blinked again.

The rest were…more expressive.

"That's bullshit," Fox said, also two and a half drinks in. His eyes were like saucers. "That's complete and utter bullshit. You're lying."

I shook my head, sipping Coke again. "Mm-mm. It was space."

Lion looked at me with a slack jaw, and I didn't think I'd ever seen him quite so surprised before.

"…you're impossible," Bear said slowly. "Impossible. There's no way you can have all this…everything. Is there anything you haven't done? Or seen?"

"This is a lie," Wolf said slowly, still blinking. "You're fucking with us because you know we can't ask for proof. Right?"

"No," I confirmed with the smallest smirk. So long as I didn't think about the fear, the memory itself wasn't that bad. "Zero gravity is scary at first, but fun in hindsight. I was only there for a few hours to take care of something, then I came back."

Eagle opened his mouth to ask something else, but Bella and Evie came back at that moment.

"What'd we miss?" Bella asked jokingly, smile slowly fading, as she took in the shell-shocked looks on everyone's faces. "…what? Did something happen?"

Fox, Wolf, and Tiger threw back their drinks in such perfect unison I wondered if it had been rehearsed. Snake, after picking up his jaw from the floor, smiled and said, "Not a thing. Bella, you were talking about the youth center?"

Lion nudged me under the table as conversation resumed, looking at me with his eyebrows at his hairline. I nodded again in confirmation.

"…we're talking later," he finally said. I laughed.

I supposed I'd won that round.

…

The night didn't stay so peaceful.

Wolf and Snake and Tiger were drinking steadily, but not doing much else; Snake wasn't having much at all, and Wolf and Tiger were holding their liquor fine. Bear, on the other hand, was getting a little tipsy, and Bella was cackling along with him. They'd hit the dance floor, and my God, I didn't want to see Bear move that way ever again. Eagle and Evie had joined shortly after, Evie a couple shots in and Eagle just along for the ride.

Fox was…getting drunk.

"He does that," Snake said with an apologetic smile after Fox slammed his glass onto the table after a chug, ignoring Fox's comment thereafter.

"Oi, Ben," I said to him after his fifth drink. "Wanna slow down a bit, mate?" Ian had never drunk much, nor did Jack, and they'd never let me have anything, but even I knew this probably wasn't healthy.

"Nope," he said, popping the p and taking another swig. "It's…like three bloody weeks til we're back in 'ell! Lemme have a good time. You should, too."

I couldn't help but laugh a little at his slurred words and his overall demeanor—he looked pretty funny, much more carefree than the spy I knew. I knew him well enough to know he'd probably never spill anything confidential—he wouldn't let himself drink so much, if he did—but it still seemed like he was going a little hard.

"Drink…drink …mm…good, no drinks," he said, looking at me and nodding in approval. He was going around the table, checking us all off. I blinked, and I would've torn him a new one because our friends weren't stupid had we been in public, or had he not moved on as fast as he did. "Drink…what, Lion, you're no' drinkin'?"

Lion smiled, but it was tight. "I don't drink."

"Ah. S'that why you're such a hardarse, mate? Let loose a li—bloody fucking fuck—"

Wolf, just like Evie had before, kicked him under the table.

"Shut up, Fox," I said before I could stop myself, rolling my eyes. "Not everyone likes to get wasted."

Fox blinked. "M'not trying t'be an arse. Just let loose a little, mate! Here, try some of mine," he said, shoving his drink Lion's way.

Lion leaned back in one swift motion like the bottle was going to burn him. "I'm good." There was a steel edge to his voice.

"Try it! C'mon, don't be a pansy."

"I said I'm fine."

"Ugh, bloody hell, I apologize for this little shit," Wolf muttered, making to stand up. "Fox, if you can't get it together, I'm calling you a car back to ours."

Fox opened his mouth to respond, but was saved from having to. I heard a tinkle of laughter to my left and looked over just in time to see a girl come up to our table. She was probably a few years older than me—early 20s, maybe—and looked self-confident and suave as she leaned up onto the table, sending a glance back at her table. A couple other girls were staring with conspiratorial smiles like this was part of some master plan.

I frowned. Girls were weird. I'd never been able to quite figure Sabina out.

"Hey. I saw you guys over here and couldn't help but feel a little…neglected, by the guys here, you know? Anybody want to dance?" She punctuated the statement with a wink, long nails tapping against the film on the table.

I blinked, clueless and really praying she didn't look at me, but I needn't have worried. Fox grinned, and before anyone could stop him, said, "Fuck yes. Show me something, darling."

I never wanted to hear Fox say darling again, but I was far more distracted by the way Fox bodily fell against the table getting up, laughing loud and long and loud right by us before stumbling away, bottle in hand.

"And then there were five," Snake said with a sigh, smiling into his glass. Wolf shook his head, muttering something about an idiotic bastard, and went to get some more shots.

Lion wasn't smiling.

Tiger was looking at him far more than usual.

I glanced at Tiger, unsure of exactly what was wrong, but knowing still that something was wrong. Lion was quiet, and still, and didn't look at all like Lion usually did.

Snake was observant, and smart, and realized something was going on. "I'm going to go help Wolf with drinks," he said naturally, leaving his glass behind and disappearing into the now-crowded dance floor.

"Lion, you're in the bar with me and Alex," Tiger began immediately, almost so quickly I didn't hear him at first. "It was that fucking idiot Fox, not anybody else. He just bumped the table and he's on the dance floor. Bear's on the dance floor, too, dancing like a fucking fourteen year old boy with new hormones," Tiger griped, and it seemed to be settling Lion little by little.

Now that I was watching more closely, I could see the way Lion's hands were in tight fists in his lap, the way his face was paler than normal, the way his eyes were staring pin-straight at his glass. Not a panic attack, not a flashback, but definitely not okay.

I wondered if Fox being drunk, close, and loud had reminded him just a bit too much of his father, especially after trying to get Lion to drink.

Tiger continued talking, and though Lion was conscious, and cognizant, he didn't seem to be calming down as much as he'd like to. I saw Tiger's eyes becoming more worried as time wore on, and looked around to make sure Snake and Wolf weren't on their way back. I caught sight of them at the bar; Snake was holding Wolf up with something.

"Tom says you look like Luke from Star Wars if he had short hair," I blurted out before I could think too much about it. Tiger paused, giving me a look that distinctly meant what the fuck, but I pressed on. "I told him he was an idiot. You look way more like…I dunno, Zac Efron with less of a jawline."

I blinked.

Lion blinked.

"I what?" He asked slowly, gradually turning to me. His hands unfurled the slightest bit.

"...you look kind of like Zac Efron…with less of a jawline," I repeated uncertainly, ignoring the way Tiger put his face in his hands in disappointment. "I dunno, it seemed like a good thing to say! I barely know who Zac Efron is!" I said defensively when Tiger started laughing quietly despite the situation.

Lion snorted, abrupt and unexpected, but I'd take that over the paleness lingering in his face any day.

"You perplex the hell out of me," Tiger said finally, and Lion laughed in agreement, still shaky, but noticeably better. He took a sip of his drink, his hand shaking ever so slightly.

"Maybe you should go sit in the car for a minute," I suggested hesitantly. I didn't want Lion to think I didn't think he was strong enough to be here, or anything, which absolutely wasn't what I thought, but… "…it's fine to need a minute."

Slowly, looking at the table absently, Lion nodded. "I'll just…be a few minutes. I won't be long."

"I'm coming with," Tiger said decisively, shutting Lion up with just a look.

"I'll cover for you," I said quickly, unsure of what else to say.

Despite his unsteadiness, Lion smiled and put a hand on my head for a brief second. "We'll be right back. Don't find trouble, okay?"

"Worry about yourself," I said, pushing his hand off my head with a smile and in the direction of the car park.

I watched them get out the door and, despite being alone at a huge table now, I was glad they were outside, and that Lion was taking some space. It amazed me how he could be so confidently vulnerable—how he could just admit to what he needed and ask for it or accept it. It was so unusual, and kind of inspiring, though I'd never admit it.

"Where'd they go?" Wolf's voice came behind me, and I turned as they settled down with a couple shots and a beer for Wolf himself.

Snake took another shot as I responded, "Lion wasn't feeling well, so they went to go sit in the car for a few minutes. They said they'd be back soon."

Wolf, thankfully, just nodded in acceptance.

The three of us talked for a while, Snake an excellent mediator for Wolf's bite and my snark, and it was actually a somewhat enjoyable conversation. Tiger texted and said that Lion was fine, but they'd be a bit longer than they thought, so I sent a thumbs up. I was worried about him, but I didn't want to get too far into his space.

Bear and Bella came back to the table after a few minutes, and Wolf suggested we start a game of snooker. I readily accepted, quite ready to smoke his arse.

We crossed the bar and found an empty table, and it was easily decided that Wolf and I would go first. Bella was explaining the finer parts of snooker to a tipsy Bear, who was hanging onto her every word with stars in his eyes.

"If they don't fucking snog by the time we leave, I'm rioting," Wolf muttered as he came around my side to line up his next shot. I snorted halfway through a sip of Coke, coughing as much up as I could and nearly laughing again when Bella and Bear both looked at me in concern.

Wolf announced he had to use the bathroom (in terms much less polite than that) about halfway through the game, so I went to the bar to get a refill on Coke. The bartender, a man in his twenties with an American accent, was slammed; I gave him my order, but I could tell it was going to take a minute, so I settled on the edge of the bar to wait, keeping my attention on my back. I didn't want people sneaking up on me.

That was why, when the woman approached from my left, I knew she was coming.

"You here alone?" She asked, easing up against the bar beside me. I turned fully to look at her, trying to make my expression seem disinterested without being rude. She was a couple years older than me, I supposed, and undeniably attractive—sparse makeup and alluring features, accentuated by tight, dark clothing that flickered under the lights. Long, dark hair and a pleasant smile completed the look, teal eyes fixed right on me.

I'd known she was approaching, but I didn't know what for, and the question caught me off guard. "Um…no. I'm with friends."

"Oh, those big guys you were talking to in the snooker room?" She asked, propping her head on her hand, arm across the bar to hold her weight. I couldn't imagine that was very comfortable. "The bouncer's a friend of mine, he said a bunch of soldiers came in. Are you really with them?"

"…yeah," I finally answered, unsure what the harm would be. "Is that a problem?"

"No, you just don't look like a solider. I love a man in uniform, though," she said with a wink.

I felt myself blush bright, bright red, and hoped she would attribute it to the heat of the lights. "I'm young, I guess. Just joined up."

"How old?"

"Nineteen."

"Oh, younger than I thought," she admitted. "Not too young, though. What, you didn't want to go to uni? Have a little fun before then?" She touched my arm with long fingernails, getting too far into my personal space with a suggestive smile. I saw her move, but the touch still made me flinch back, and she was quick to remove her hand.

"Uh…no. No, I'm just…actually, I'm going to get some air," I said quickly, a little breathlessly, and darted around her towards the back exit.

I escaped through a side door quickly and quietly, breathing in the frigid night air and pulling my jacket tight. The sound of the pounding bass quieted as the door closed and I enjoyed the solace of the chilly alley, breathing shakily. It wasn't just the woman—this was probably a lot more than my social anxiety and paranoid nature was built for, and it was beginning to take its toll, despite how well I'd done so far. Maybe I could find Tiger and Lion and request to get the hell out of here. I knew Snake would stay sober enough to drive the others back.

I felt a chill crawl up my spine at the thought of going back inside, with the loud music and the sweating throng of bodies and the overloaded senses, and it had nothing to do with the snowflakes settling in my hair. And here I thought I'd have a good time. But there were all the people, and that woman had unnerved me, and…yeah.

I frowned a little at my own reaction, suddenly disheartened by the way I'd acted. It wasn't that I…didn't want to meet someone. I supposed a club wouldn't be the best place for that, anyways, considering I was sixteen, but…the mere thought of that woman getting too close to me sent me into a borderline panic.

How was I ever going to have a relationship like that?

I didn't have any experience, anyways, but…it was something I wanted, in time. I'd kissed Alexa Diaz, sure, but that was more on a dare than anything, and it had been so awkward. And then there was Sabina, who I loved more than anything—enough to know I could never be with her like that. Enough to know I'd always have to keep her close, but far enough away, because she was my weakness. I loved her so much it hurt, and it hadn't even mattered.

And that was it. The rest of my time I'd spent away, depressed, or running and hiding, and now…well, now I figured I was too messed up to ever have a normal relationship. I wondered if I'd ever even give myself the chance—if one day, I'd be in a place where I was safe enough to explore options like that, where I didn't have people chasing me. When I knew that someone I loved wouldn't become another casualty of my existence.

Besides. I was so disfigured no girl in their right mind would ever want to see me without clothes on.

I felt my eyes screw tightly shut, aggravated and a little upset at the thoughts, and shook my head. Damn. If I couldn't even handle a club, I really shouldn't be thinking about the future, about actually assimilating into the civilian population. I'd been having a good time, and I wasn't going to let one regular woman and spiraling thoughts get the better of me.

I took a steadying breath and returned to the bar for my Coke, instantly back on guard, but the woman was gone. Well, thank God for small miracles. The heat hit me as soon as I walked in, and it didn't take much time to shake off the chill. I saw my drink on the edge of the bar where I'd been standing and plucked it up, taking a sip.

"Not your type?" The bartender asked with a knowing smile when he saw me come back. He nodded towards the dancefloor, where the woman who'd spoken to me and another man were dancing, seemingly having a good time.

"Not really," I agreed, taking another sip, thanking him and returning to the table. Wolf had already taken his shot. I took off my jacket a couple minutes later, unnatural heat sweeping through my limbs. How did people do this for hours every night? This place was a sauna. Bear and Bella went back to the dance floor at some point, bored of the game, but I didn't really notice when.

Wolf and I finished the game—which I barely won, which had him swearing up a right storm—and he and Snake were playing when I realized I felt bad. I'd taken off my jacker at some point, but I was warm; uncomfortably so. I didn't feel sick, per se, just…fuzzy, a bit, like I'd just woken up. Maybe I was dehydrated?

"…I'm going to the bathroom," I said, but Snake and Wolf were both too immersed in the game to do more than acknowledge my statement.

I started to make my way to the back, but I would have to skirt the edges of the dancefloor, and that was sickening. Or maybe that was the growing nausea. I did my best, skirting around the side as best I could, but I was getting sicker by the minute.

I was halfway there when I realized I was dizzy, and something was really, really wrong, and I shouldn't have left the table.

Still, I made it out to the other side unscathed. I was closer to the bar then I was our table. I could alert a bartender, and he could send someone to get them. My limbs felt heavy, and I stumbled, unsure of what was wrong, just holding onto the fact that I knew that something was wrong and getting worse.

I more or less fell against the bar when I got there, knocking over a glass of something that smelled like vodka. I wondered if Bear or Eagle were near enough to hear the commotion. If they knew it was me. I couldn't hold onto the thought for very long. Everything had started spinning, like a funhouse on wheels, but my instincts were still sharp enough to let me know that I needed help.

I was barely holding myself upright. Suddenly, someone was there—a bartender? I thought so—and he took my elbow and guided me somewhere. Bartenders were cool. They knew all about this stuff. My mind distantly supplied that I was probably drugged—dizziness, loss of control, confusion; all the signs were there—but I didn't know how it could've happened. Did I? Something tickled my mind—the drink on the bar. I had…watched him make it, hadn't I? Or…had I…

I had. In a moment of clarity, I remembered that I'd picked up my drink off the bar, after being outside for a moment to calm down. I hadn't watched him make it, and even if he hadn't done anything, I hadn't watched it after it was made, either. Fucking stupid.

And in that moment of clarity, I realized it wasn't the bartender leading me. At least, not the one I knew.

A chasm opened in the pit of my stomach, more than just the nausea, but I couldn't think straight with the confusion. I knew something was wrong with the person guiding me. I just didn't know what. I stumbled, and another hand took my other arm. I hoped they were safe. Anyone but Myra.

…Myra. Bad name. Myra was bad…but why? Being drugged triggered some kind of memory, something, and Myra had been there, and I was scared of her…

I was still being guided along, someone saying something over my head. I stumbled over my feet, but their pace didn't slow.

I was cold.

When had it gotten so cold?

I needed to do something.

Focus on the cold, I thought, kind of out of nowhere, and it sounded like Ian. Focus on the cold. Let it ground you, Alex.

Let it ground me. Okay. I—was cold. There was freezing air, bare arms stinging with the cold, my fingers throbbing. I focused on my fingertips, then on my arms, then on the hands holding my arms. Tight and steady—would they bruise? Was that concerning?

I looked to my left first. It was a man. Of that much, even in my compromised state, I could be certain. My vision was caving in on itself, but I thought he had brown hair. His silhouette was unfamiliar.

"S…stop," I slurred, slow and clear. "Let…"

"No can do," the voice on my right said. Female. Not the man. "Shoulda taken me up on my offer the first time, hot stuff."

"He's a fetus, that's disgusting," the man said. I didn't think I could work my head well enough to turn around and look at the other person, but this person was talking. Jack said it was rude to look away from someone when they were talking. Where was she? "You're twenty fucking eight."

"He's legal. Besides, m'not allowed to, apparently. Arse."

"Speaking of the arse, they want him in London by 2 am, so hurry the fuck up," the man replied, punctuated by a tug on my arm that was hard. That hurt.

I wasn't clear—whatever they'd dosed me with was overpowering and completely demolishing my sense of reason—but I knew I was in danger, and I knew that no one was coming to save me. People showed up sometimes, I thought, but when I called for help, I couldn't expect anyone, because no one ever actually came.

Startling degrees of weakness and cold were seeping into my bones, and the shivering was one of the only things clear in my mind. I was cold, and tired. They were still holding my arms tight, still dragging me through frigid air and darkness. The snow was swaying in time with the pulsing in my head as I watched my clumsy feet leave skids in the snow, my head having dropped. It was too heavy.

Something tickled the edge of a memory—people I was with, people I knew, people I trusted—but no one had come to save me before. No one was coming to save me now. That was fact.

I knew enough to know that with each dizzying step, I was one step closer to being lost forever. Something had to be done. I had to save myself.

I went limp.

The dead weight seemed startled them. I felt the woman's hands clench tight, like she was having trouble. My knees were cold and wet through my jeans—snow melting against my frigid skin. It was bitter.

"That was quick," the man muttered. I saw his blurred arm reach across me, in front of me. My vision was blurry, but I could approximate where his face was.

Once the woman had let go of my arm—at least, I hoped she had, I was pretty numb—I made a peace sign with my fingers and, ask quickly and with as much precision as I could, went for the eyes.

It wasn't very effective, from what I gathered—the woman had grabbed my arm, for some reason, and I was clumsy—but I hot one of them. The man yelled and dropped me, clutching at his left eye. The woman and I fell into the snow.

Bloody cold. Didn't like it.

I tried to get up, but swayed enough that I just fell sideways back into the snow. Still cold.

"Little fucker," I heard the man's voice say as I tried to get my arms back under me. What had I had? I felt drunk, even though I didn't think I'd ever been drunk. Someone…was going to be mad at me about that. They told me not to drink. "Price is going fucking up. Shit, that stings."

"Don't be a bitch, Q, we're out in the open," the woman said. I felt hands on my arm again. Something about that was wrong. "Take his other arm. Just—fuck, just get him into the alley for now, C is just going to have to come get us."

…X was a funny name. It didn't sound real. Neither did Q. Something about that was important.

I felt heavy and fuzzy as someone took my other arm and dragged, and it kind of felt like I was being dragged through slush. I was dropped, and even though it was cold, I stayed laying down. I was tired. I knew I should probably have been doing something important—trying to get away, trying to get help, or something—but I was tired.

"Is my eye scratched?"

"Man the fuck up. Shit, Q. You're fine."

"Bitch." That one was significantly quieter than the other ones.

I tried to get up again. I wasn't safe. This wasn't safe. This wasn't safe. Something about being not safe was very dangerous. I felt sick, more than just from the drug—was it a drug?—like I was scared, and it was turning my stomach. I made it to my knees, leaning against the wall, before there were footsteps behind me.

That…wasn't good.

I tried to get up and go, and run or at least do something, but there were fingers in my hair. That hurt. I reached up to pry it off and managed to grab a wrist with clumsy fingers, but it wouldn't budge.

"Get the shot out of my bag," the woman said. Oh. She was holding me.

Shot didn't sound good.

The dull, thrumming panic kept at bay by the drug surged forward, and I began to struggle.

I couldn't let them give me a shot. Shots were bad. Shots—reminded me of Myra, and Myra was terrifying.

"No," I said emphatically, startlingly clear after everything I'd been slurring thus far.

"Yes," the man said, and I could see enough to see the annoyance in his eyes. They were still functioning. Something about the eyes tickled a memory, too. I seemed to have a lot of those.

He tried to jab my arm, but I moved, and he missed. He growled. He sounded like a dog.

Dogs bit people, but they didn't hit people, which is what he did. I fell into the snow and stayed there, dizzy.

"He was supposed to be unharmed."

"He's bloody fine. Semantics. Give me the damn needle."

I hummed something in dissent, but I was too tired. I closed my eyes, shivering. It was still cold. Someone took my arm.

"Drop the needle, fucker," a voice said behind us.

That was…a familiar voice. I just didn't know where from.

There were a few seconds of tense silence. "You fuckin' heard 'im. Drop it or we'll make ye."

That one sounded familiar, too.

"…this seems to be a misunderstanding," I heard the woman say, sounding different than before. She sounded nicer. Worried. "He said he was feeling sick, so we brought him outside—I'm a paramedic, I was giving him Narcan. I think he overdosed on something."

"I don't give a flying fuck if you're the Prime Minister, and I don't give a flying fuck if you're the trophy husband. Drop. The. Needle."

Someone let go of my arm. I blinked my eyes open. Something sounded like it was happening, and it was important.

Suddenly, I heard scuffling, and a shout, and a lot of cursing. I blinked again. People were fighting. I hated it when that happened.

"Get back here, you mother—"

"Wolf, let them go, I need ye here," I heard one of the voices say. There were hands on my shoulders—gentler than before—and then my face. "Cub? Open yer eyes. Cub."

Oh. I'd closed them again. I blinked them open obediently.

Before I knew it, I was manhandled up until I was leaning against someone or something holding me upright—warmer than the wall, but about as hard as one.

"That's Wolf, not a wall." Oh. I'd spoken out loud. "Cub, I need you to tell me your name, and where you are," the voice said again. I blinked, and red hair came into view.

"…Snake." That sounded right.

"No, that's my name, I need yours," he said patiently, but he flicked eyes to Wolf. I was glad that I'd reasonably concluded that it was a person. Snake looked worried.

"…said no," I managed. I knew it wasn't the answer to his question, but I felt like it was important to say, anyway. "Didn't…want…"

"I know, I know, you didn't do anything wrong," Snake soothed.

"Weird names," I suddenly remembered.

"Yes, animals are weird names. They're code names, remember?" Snake explained. He sounded fine, but he looked extra worried.

"No. Know that. Th…them. Alph'bet."

"He's high as a fucking kite," someone muttered behind me. "I'm texting the others."

"No," I said emphatically, for some reason adamant that they know this information. I remember it was important. I told Snake important things. "Q…C. Names. Them."

Snake paused, looked at me, then looked at Wolf. "Code names."

"Yes," I confirmed haughtily, happy that someone finally understood.

"Motherfucker," Wolf breathed. "Eagle? Yeah, meet up with us back at the bar, we're bringing him back. No, he's on Pluto—high, Eagle, he's high on something. No, he didn't bloody take it himself. Alright. Yeah, bye."

"His pulse is slower than it should be, but I don't know if it's slow enough to be considered an overdose," Snake said, fingers on my neck. I blinked heavily at him.

"M'cold," I complained quietly.

Something jostled behind me. In a second somebody was manhandling my arms through the sleeves of a coat. That was better.

"Mm," I acknowledged. It was meant to be a thank you, but whatever.

"His fingernails are bloody purple," Snake said. "Let's get him back inside."

Wolf said something, but I blinked my eyes closed, somehow even sleepier now that I was warm. I was jostled again, made to stand, but that didn't work for very long.

"Fuck it," Wolf whispered, hefting me into his arms. My head fell against his shoulder. I should've been teasing him, I thought, but I was too tired. "Keep an eye out for those other arseholes."

"I've got the six, keep him awake."

"Hear that?" Wolf said, and it took me a second to realize he was talking to me. "Open your eyes. Tell me what happened."

I blinked again. "Wanna sleep." Hm. I didn't sound 19. Wasn't I supposed to be 19?

"Don't care. Tell me what happened."

I sighed, small and resigned. "Drink…think it…had something." At his look, I continued, "Got sick…way to b'throom. S'mebody…took me outside."

"So it hit fast," he surmised, and I confirmed with a nod. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"'bout what?"

"Feeling sick."

"Oh…didn't feel that sick."

Wolf huffed out a frustrated breath. I opened my eyes and focused on the road as he walked. There weren't any cars. Snake was on the phone with someone.

"Why'd you come?" I asked slowly. I didn't think anyone was coming.

Wolf paused, then cast me an affronted look. "What, you didn't want us to? Were you going to fight them off?"

I shrugged, as much as I could. My fingers were starting to hurt. "Nob'dy comes wh'n I…call. Same as…P'nt Bl'nc…" I yawned.

Wolf's face went very blank. "We did come. We found you at the base of the mountain."

I shook my head, frustrated. "Sent the s'gnal…hours before that. Th'were g'nna…kill me. Escaped. Should I…be telling you that?"

Wolf didn't answer. He looked angrier than before.

I focused on the road so I wouldn't have to see how mad he was. I watched a lone car coming up the road, going very slowly. Maybe they were scared of the ice.

As they passed, I got a single glimpse of the driver in the front seat, and we locked eyes. Then he was gone, but I recognized him, and suddenly, I wasn't sleepy anymore.

C. The woman had said "C" was coming to pick them up.

C had just driven by us while on the phone, looking grim.

C was coming to take me.

C was Crawley.

A/N: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you plot, and her bitch of a cousin angst.

Tee hee. Y'all ain't ready for next chapter.

Also I'm sorry I love Fox but he's fucking wild when he gets drunk don't be mad at him he's just a dummy

Thanks for all the love on the last chapter. Huge shoutout to: NeleWW, Asilrettor, OnlyABookworm, Bumbee, Cakemania225, storyspinner16, marthecaterpillar, MillieM04, Eva Haller, CoffeAndOakLeaves, and Guest!

Guest: Thank you so much! I appreciate that :)

Thank you for all the love and support! We're just getting started XD