Shifting Sands Chapter 3

If there were ever a friend to have, Kakashi was certainly the best. Hina had always considered herself a little outgoing, but not in the loud way. She didn't go out of her way to talk to people, but she'd never had any trouble with it. She was told she was earnest and happy to try new things. In truth she kept to herself much like an introvert did, despite being fine with conversations. It was mostly because she was having to come to admit in a lot of ways she was in fact a child, but in a lot of ways she wasn't. Actual children her age were a little too odd for her to treat like peers, and the adults around her weren't about to treat her like a peer either. So she found herself in a weird situation where she was mostly out of necessity unable to make a true friend.

Kakashi was an exception. She was half-convinced he was some kind of reincarnation with memories of a past life like her. She did approach this subject with him, although he seemed to call her imagination too wild and left it at that. But beyond his elitist attitude, he was a pretty serious kid, and he actually had passion to be a Shinobi. It made his efforts to train a little easier to digest, considering Hina found it hard to wrap her head around the fact that he became a Genin at 5 in the story. Kakashi was about seven months older than her, meaning he had already enrolled in the Academy. When she approached the topic, he had told her that he was moved up a few years already. That was rather impressive for an actual five-year-old, although she never said it out loud.

Hina occasionally practiced throwing kunai with him and tree climbing when they went to the park, opting out of playing on traditional playground equipment. She found herself happy to challenge him to a couple of different obstacle courses, kunai target rounds, tag, and whatever else sporty thing she could think of. He never complained about it and participated, mostly because she won sometimes and that seemed to make him push himself harder. Hina figured this was the closest thing to friendship she'd have in a while. That was fine with her since she enjoyed his competitive energy.

"You're improving your agility quite a lot Hina-chan. You're like a monkey," Sakumo commented.

Hina made a little monkey noise and giggled as she did a practiced leap and somersault off the bar, landing with her hands up in the air. Her past self would have had trouble doing a roley-poly. Sakumo clapped for her, chuckling at her antics but Kakashi didn't seem all that pleased with his father today. Sakumo himself seemed fine, his face always in that practiced smile. Shikaku was a little easier to read since she was well acquainted with the man. Something was wrong, at least with the way Shikaku's smile didn't quite reach his eyes, and the way he glanced at Sakumo with the slightest hitch of his normally lax shoulders. The mother's also weren't talking to Sakumo, which was unusual since they normally enjoyed keeping the man there without letting him go. Hina heard whispers, but not well enough to discern what was being said.

If she hadn't known already from her past memories, she would have never figured it out. Sakumo had failed his mission, a mission important enough to prevent Konoha from going to war, something that could have saved thousands of lives, but would have ended his teammates. He choose them. Hina didn't blame him, although the cold logical pragmatist inside of her told her his decision was ultimately cruel.

"You only won because you have monkey DNA," Kakashi said, folding his arms.

"Sure, if I have a monkeys DNA then you must have a sloth's," Hina retorted.

"One more round," Kakashi demanded, puffing his cheeks.

"Now, now Kakashi, don't be a sore loser," Sakumo said.

Kakashi glared at his father. "What like you are?"

Hina paused taking in the flash of hurt on Sakuma's face, which was so brief she barely caught it. She looked at Kakashi and back at his father, caught in-between something heartbreaking. She wished she knew what to say to make it all better. All she could think off were inappropriate jokes.

"Hey, I bet my friend $1000 I'd never take it in the butt. He says I am just a sore loser."

Hina regretted saying it almost as instantly as it came out of her mouth, but both father and son looked at her like she'd grown a second head, before Sakumo was trying to hold in a fit of laughter. He turned to look at Shikaku who was groaning and holding his face like he didn't want to deal with what just came out of her mouth.

"I don't get it," Kakashi finally said, completely breaking his father.

And just like that for a moment she was able to buy some levity. As short lived as it was. She played a bit more with Kakashi as the adults shooed them away. She dropped her head in front of his from the rope course.

"You shouldn't say hurtful things to your tousan," Hina said.

"Why shouldn't I? Everyone says he ran away and failed a mission. Now no one talks to us anymore… except you."

"Well they're stupid. People fail things, people make wrong decisions sometimes. We have to be patient… at least with our parents."

"What would you know? Yours aren't even around," he bit back.

Hina winced a little at that but decided to swing away instead of pursuing the conversation. That hurt a little more than it should have, but Kakashi was still a kid, even though sometimes he was smart, and she could pretend to be proper peers with him. He was mature enough to come back to apologise, dropping in behind her and awkwardly staying there for a moment.

"I shouldn't have said that" he admitted.

"It's fine. But words can hurt a lot more than a wound does. Don't… don't do that to your tousan. At the end of the day he's there for you."

Kakashi looked away but he nodded. She supposed he was a little bit easier to talk to than she had assumed. Admitting you were in the wrong was hard to do, and for a kid to do that without prompting meant he was a good egg.

"Next week, I'll see you here?" he asked.

"Next week," Hina agreed.

And then she took Shikaku's hands, waving goodbye to the Hatake's. They were a few minutes away from the park when Shikaku coughed into his hands.

"I feel like I should tell you as a responsible adult, that your joke was inappropriate… but it did make Hatake-san laugh. That's a tough feat," he said sighing.

Hina noted that Shikaku went from calling him Sakumo to Hatake-san once again. She frowned at the distance even the Clan head was putting with the Hatake, but she understood politics was in play, ones she wasn't privy to. "It's not that hard. He laughs all the time."

"And when you smile, do you really mean it all the time?"

"I suppose I don't…"

"Anyway, we have got to talk about who's corrupting my little green bean."

Hina smirked. "I came up with that all on my own."

"I'm… kid you scare me sometimes."

Hina laughed. Shikaku was funny sometimes.

The next time Hina saw Kakashi was at a funeral. It was sudden but expected. Still it felt surreal, and as she stood there dressed in black, watching her five-year-old friend throw dirt over his father's casket, Hina wondered if she was responsible for this misery. She had hoped this wouldn't have happened. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought cheering up the man in their few visits, and teaching Kakashi to be kinder could have changed this outcome.

What if she had tried harder…

Then the funeral ended and Hina felt the start of heat in her chest. She pushed it down to focus on Kakashi, feeling her emotions roll inside of her like crashing waves in a stormy sea. Still she contained it, holding back tears. No one cried at a Shinobi funeral if they could help it, as was tradition. Kakashi looked like he wasn't present, like his mind was far away. Hina imagined what kind of misery he must have felt coming home to find his father's dead body, intestines spilled on the floor staining it red.

At the end of it all she noticed not one person who had attended was family. Hina looked up at Shikaku with a worried frown.

"Where will he go? He has no one," Hina asked.

"The Hokage will give him a stipend."

"He's five," she said in horror.

"He is five, and he would have been going to a foster home or to the orphanage, but he graduated the academy. He is an adult now," Shikaku said, face grim.

"He what?" Hina asked, felt red hot rage. "You let him—"

"—Do not raise your voice. We are at a funeral," Shikaku said sternly, before kneeling down in front of her. "We did not recommend it, but he asked to attend the academy exams and he passed, in the top 10 percentile. The Hokage deemed it okay."

"I want a word with the Hokage," Hina hissed, in a hushed voice.

"You what?" Shikaku asked incredulously.

"A word. A long conversation. Maybe with some kunai and stabbing involved," Hina replied, clenching her fists.

Then she saw the Hokage there, just past the crowd of Jounin. Every bone of self-preservation in her body told her this was suicide, that to the Hokage she was an ant, a spec of dirt both in political and physical power. She didn't care. Even Shikaku had not considered the possibility of her stomping over to their Village leader, because if he had he would have caught her in her mad dash to where the Hokage was exiting. Before she could even reach the man two ANBU dropped in front of her. The middle-aged man regarded her with a curious look.

"It's okay, drop your guard," he told the ANBU.

"Why the hell did you let Kakashi graduate?!" Hina demanded.

Hiruzen raised a brow and Hina wanted desperately to slap some sense into this man. He had no right looking at her so softly after making a decision like this.

"He passed the exam, and as is his right he is a Genin."

"His father just killed himself! Everyone ostracised, mocked, and bullied him. They drove him to death. Now Kakashi has no one! He hasn't even gone to the Academy for more than a year yet and you want to send him off to fight! You can't do this to him!" Hina demanded, the initial anger in her voice turning into begging desperation.

Whatever remaining hardness in the man's eyes left, and Hina saw a brief moment of regret. She searched for it in his eyes, in his demeanour, hoping for more, hoping he would see how fucked up this was. She was instead interrupted by Kakashi himself before the Hokage could even speak.

"I passed the exam. I am worthy of being a Shinobi unlike my father. I will prove it, and if you want to get in my way then leave," he said, tying the hitaite around his forehead with a glare.

"Kakashi, please… this is… you're—"

"—You don't think I can do it?" he asked.

"You're just a kid!"

Kakashi froze, and then Hina watched in despair as his eyes hardened and he left without a word. She turned from Kakashi's retreating form to the Hokage, looking between the two in desperation. They couldn't let this happen. This was going to eat her friend alive from the inside. They were going to dig a kunai into his heart and etch violence into him before he even turned six. Hina felt her chest heat up in pain as she clutched the area. She was hot to the touch. Shikaku was by her side now, holding her up.

"Is the child, okay?" Hiruzen asked.

Hina groaned as she felt her chakra flare up painfully inside of her. Shikaku ran his hand over her chest, pushing his own chakra into her, stabilising her as best he could. To her surprise, the Hokage also pulled up her shirt, putting his hands to her stomach and pulsing his chakra through.

"I can perform a temporary yin seal, just until she's stabilised," Hiruzen offered.

"That would be helpful Hokage-sama," Shikaku replied.

As the Hokage finished his seal on her stomach, Hina grabbed the man's hands, looking him desperately in the eyes.

"P-please, this is only going to hurt him," Hina begged.

Hiruzen put a hand on her forehead and sighed. "You are a really good friend, but this is his choice. However, I will not let someone so young into the world without protection. Rest easy, I will assign him the best Jounin instructor possible."

Hina wanted to argue that physical protection was not what she intended, that the pain from this period would stay with Kakashi for a long time, deep into his adulthood, and maybe it would heal, but the dull throbbing pain of it would never go. The words escaped her and all she could do was grit her teeth, and let go of Hiruzen as Shikaku picked her up once more.

"I apologize for her actions. She's still young—"

"Shikaku-kun, don't apologize. This one showed her will of fire here today, and I can't punish her for that. Make sure she gets home okay."

"I will," Shikaku said, bowing before he retreated.

The walk back was tense, and it was made all the worse by their close proximity, one she couldn't escape. Hina felt the heat subside but was too tired to ask to be put down.

"Standing up for Kakashi even though you knew he would not like it, and to the Hokage of all people was… brave."

Hina looked up in shock. She had expected a long lecture and an even worse punishment. Most military dictatorships would consider what she did treasonous.

"But I want you to understand, if you did that in any other Shinobi Nation you would have lost your head right then and there."

Hina nodded, grimacing.

"But you don't regret it, do you?" Shikaku asked.

"I don't."

"You should."

Hina cocked her head in confusion. "Why?"

"Because if the Kage hadn't been Sarutobi-sama, you would be dead, and Kakashi would still be Genin. You would have lost on both fronts. A Shinobi must know when to pick their battles, and how to pick their battles. Had this been another Kage you would have lost on both fronts."

"I couldn't think straight. It made me so upset," she admitted, looking away in shame.

"You are young, you'll learn. From now on when you get upset, you take in 3 deep breathes, think about the consequences, and if it is worth the objective then proceed. If not, drop it and come back to it from another angle at another time," Shikaku said.

Hina nodded. "I could have talked to Kakashi. I should have stopped Sakumo from… from—"

"—And never ever dwell on your mistakes," Shikaku interrupted sternly before his expression softened "or you'll end up living a life of many regrets. We all make mistakes, and as a Shinobi that may involve some horrible consequences. At the end of the day we need to learn to live with it or drown. I don't want you to drown green bean."

"I won't," Hina said, hugging the man back.

But still her heart ached for Kakashi, her friend who was failed by every single adult around him. Hina closed her eyes tiredly. If no other adult would step up, then she would.

For all her efforts, Hina was unable to get Kakashi to talk to her. Yet every day she would sneak out of the Nara compound (although she suspected they were letting her) to drop off a hand made bento in front of the Hatake compound. Every day for a month she went and every day the previous bento would remain uneaten. Hina wasn't one to waste food so she would eat the previous days bento and leave the next one of course. She wasn't a food waster. Somehow Kakashi evaded her every attempt to talk to him. It was becoming frustrating, but not more frustrating and worrying than the idea that a 5-year-old was working full time as a child solider and living alone in a house his father just killed himself in.

And as the days went by Hina felt her yin chakra had more or less been brought to control. There was still a large imbalance there with her yang chakra still developing with her body. So as she sat cross legged with her shirt off and Hanami's palms on her back, all she could feel was a sudden bout of nervousness.

"Your chakra is calm, but you're anxious," Hanami noted.

Hina winced and turned away. "My family hasn't visited in a while. I just miss them."

"You're not lying, but that isn't the reason why you're anxious," Hanami pressed.

Hina pulled her shirt back up and pressed her lips together, feeling wholly unwilling to talk about it. Hananmi sighed after a moment, realising Hina wasn't going to speak her real thoughts to her.

"But your chakra control has been improving, your body is in peak condition, which has balanced you. If you were to continue as is you should be finished with your chakra therapy soon."

"Soon?" Hina asked, taking a deep breath in.

"And that's what you're worried about isn't it?" Hanami said, eyes softening.

Hina wanted to shrink into the floorboards and turn into wood. She envied the wood. It just sat there, didn't move, didn't feel. Hanami put a hand on her head.

"I know I'm not the easiest instructor, nor the kindest, but I do care for you Hina. These past 2 years have been some of my busiest and best in a while, because I got to share it with you," she said.

Hina looked up. "Really?"

Hanami nodded sincerely. "Everyone in this Clan appreciates your presence. You are polite and hard-working—a fine Shinobi in the making."

"But I will still have to leave. I'm not a real Nara," Hina said dejectedly.

"You are not by blood, but you will always have a place here. Has Shikaku not discussed this with you?" Hanami asked.

Hina shook her head, and the older woman sighed, looked off in the distance to where Shikaku's home lay.

"Of course he hasn't. He isn't good with confrontation for a Clan Head. He'll put it off for as long as possible and watch the clouds all day instead. Come, we will talk to him now."

"And if I have to leave?" Hina asked.

"Then you must leave, but it's not an exile. Come back when you wish. However you have a family Hina, we can't simply keep you from them for no reason."

She did have a family, didn't she? Hina nodded reluctantly, following after Hanami to Shikaku's office. The woman knocked impatiently a few times before Shikaku opened the door, any protest leaving his mouth when he saw who knocked on his door.

"Ah Hana-chan, what can I do for you?"

"What about, what you can do for Hina? Such as discussing crucial information about her living situation instead of leaving her to stress about it silently."

Shikaku had a slightly ashamed look to his face as he allowed the woman and child in. Hina sat down in the familiar living room couch as Shikaku poured them all some tea. Once he was sitting down himself, they began and until then Hina felt unimaginably nervous.

"Hina's chakra therapy is practically over on our parts. As long as she continues her daily meditations and physical training by the age of 7 her Yin chakra will be completely under control. She does not need the constant supervision of Shinobi to survive anymore and as such it would be... unethical of us to hold her here," Hanami said.

Hina looked at Shikaku who looked like he'd sucked a sour lemon. He wasn't trying to hide his distaste in that cold veneer of indifference Shinobi often did, which greatly eased her hurt. He didn't want her to leave. Someone did want her.

"Hina, what do you want?" Shikaku asked.

That caught her by surprise. She crumpled her small black shorts and pressed her lips together, suddenly unsure. On one end she wanted nothing more than to be loved by her family and to love them, on the other the Nara compound was safe and familiar, if not a little lonely too.

"I... I want my family... but I don't want to lose you and Hanami-sensei as well. They don't... I mean, I don't think they like me very much," Hina admitted.

Saying it out loud made it feel more real. All those times they ignored her, didn't invite her to family events, didn't look her in the eye; it all hit her at once. Hina tapped her thighs to focus on something instead of crying. She felt a weight on her head and looked up to see Shikaku putting a hand on her hair.

"Suzuki Hina, we can't take you completely away from your family, but we can grant you an honorary Nara title."

"Really? I'll have to change my last name?" Hina asked, uncertain about the implications.

"Not quite. You will be adopted to the Clan, not to any particular family within the Clan. It will give you some access to us and our techniques, and in Shinobi matters you would be registered under our Clan."

That all sounded quite a lot more formal than she thought it would be. She was more than certain there would be more fine print to read about what exactly it all entailed. She hadn't heard of a Clan adopting a no-name civilian child before. The ones she had heard of were the Hyuuga selecting children of good breeding to be future wives and husbands to their children. She didn't think the Nara had anything like that in mind. They married as they pleased, and more often than not those who possessed the yin shadow bloodline technique were a 50/50 chance. It was one of the reasons she liked their Clan. Eugenics was a touchy topic, and they took a wide berth from it.

"And I can come stay here?" Hina asked.

"You may. Hanami, wouldn't you say we need to keep Hina in for observation once every week or so just to make sure there aren't any unexpected surprises?" Shikaku asked, with a knowing smile.

"Why that seems like a wonderful idea," Hanami replied back with a rare smile of her own.

Hina grinned widely at the two adults. They didn't have to go this far for her, but they did. She was indebted to them in more ways than one. They weren't just her care takers after all, they were also her family now.

"You won't regret this. I'm going to do your name proud," Hina promised.

"I have no doubt about it green bean."

A/N

And now Hina is an honorary Nara ᴖ̮ ̮ᴖ I would like to thank all my readers as well and to everyone who commented. I hope you have fun on this rewrite 😊