I Walk Alone,

Chapter 11, Philosophy or Foreshadowing

Severus's spirits were high as he hurried to the Headmaster's office after classes were over for the day. He, Heather and Raislen had each earned fifty points for Slytherin house for their work on the long distance book conjuring charm. Granted one-hundred-and-fifty points was only the start to what the three would accomplish, but today it would do. Both professors were impressed with the, as Slughorn had put it, unconventional combination of concepts that made their particular conjuration charm work. Flitwick even asked to be made aware of their future projects. All that combined with his curiosity over precisely why the Headmaster had invited him to tea provided Severus with enough energy to get through the day. As he neared where he understood Dumbledore's office to be, he caught sight of the man in question, standing beside one of the school's many gargoyles. Severus smiled in relief, speeding up his steps a little. "Good! I wasn't certain I could manage to find the office without asking someone for directions."

Dumbledore's lips twitched. "That's quite intentional, my boy! It keeps me from being interrupted with too many complaints. You aren't one to complain, so you have never sought me out." As he spoke, a brief shadow of...was that sadness? Crossed Dumbledore's twinkling blue eyes. It made Severus mildly uncomfortable in the pit of his stomach for a reason he couldn't quite define.

"I like the gargoyle," he said, his gaze returning to the thing. He meant it. To him gargoyles were grand, even lovely things. To his surprise, the stone creature's face crinkled briefly into a grin. Then it shifted aside to reveal a rotating staircase.

"He must like you," Albus marveled. "He's supposed to wait for a password," he added, giving the gargoyle a meaningful look.

"I see no reason for that when you are right here," the gargoyle rumbled in a voice that sounded like stones grinding together. Severus found himself nodding in agreement. That made sense. The gargoyle smiled at him again. "Go on, then," he encouraged and Severus turned his attention back to the stairs. Uncertain as to how to step onto one of the stairs without losing his balance, he took a deep breath and jumped high enough to land onto the second step with both feet. When it spun about, he laughed in delight. Of course this wasn't the first moving staircase he'd encountered at Hogwarts, but all the others were larger and wider so more manageable. This one was smaller and seemed as if it should be trickier to navigate. Though Severus Snape was an intelligent and often precocious child, as well as a serious child who many claimed behaved like a little adult, he was still a child. At that moment, he was a child losing himself in the joy of a fun moving staircase that gave him a bit of a challenge. He couldn't resist running up and down, nearly dancing with the turns of the staircase as he predicted its movements. Sometimes he was correct and sometimes the thing nearly tripped him up, but he only laughed with glee as he quickly caught his balance. "This is the best," he called breathlessly to a smiling Albus Dumbledore who stood patiently waiting at the very top of the stairs beside his closed office door.

"It has its moments," he replied with a chuckle. "As you appear to have charmed your way into the stone heart of the gargoyle guard, you may come and enjoy a turn or two around the stairs any time you like."

"Really," Severus gasped in a mix of glee and awe.

"Really and truly," Albus confirmed with a chuckle.

"Brilliant," Severus shouted, clapping his hands and eagerly jumping up the last two stairs to stand at the Headmaster's side. "Thank you, sir!" He planned to come and play on the stairs every day! At least every day that he wasn't working on something important with Heather and Raislen.

Albus smiled. "Of course." As he spoke, he turned and opened the door that led into his office. As soon as they stepped inside, Severus noticed all the portraits of the former headmasters covering the walls. They gazed directly at him with varying expressions ranging from curiosity to boredom. "How fascinating," he breathed. "Amazing! You get to share an office with history."

"At least he appreciates us," a balding portrait in the far right corner grumped,, shooting a meaningful look at Albus who merely rolled his eyes behind his half moon spectacles.

"You are appreciated, oh esteemed one." Severus couldn't be certain if Dumbledore spoke to the portrait in sincerity or sarcasm and did not feel the need to ask. "Do have a seat and make yourself comfortable, Severus." As he spoke, the headmaster rounded the desk and sank into the large comfortable looking chair behind it. Severus seated himself in a smaller yet still comfortable chair facing the headmaster on the other side of the massive desk. A tea tray sat between them with two steaming cups already poured and waiting. A small pitcher of milk stood beside a matching dish of sugar lumps. The tray also held an intriguing array of tiny cakes and sandwiches that caused Severus's stomach to rumble. Due to missing a great deal of lunch, he'd only had that single piece of chicken and was suddenly ravenous!

"I wasn't sure how you prefer your tea, so left it to you to fix as you like," Albus said, gesturing with a little wave at the tray. "Help yourself and enjoy."

"Thank you, sir," Severus said. He added two lumps of sugar to his tea and picked up one of the small egg salad sandwiches. So caught up was he in gratifying his hunger, that he quite forgot to wonder why he was there for a moment or two. As Severus ate, the headmaster attended to his own snacking needs, depositing five lumps of sugar into his tea and eating a small round lemon cake in two bites.

"How are you liking Hogwarts," he asked at last.

Severus considered as he studied the plate of snacks, wondering if he would have another sandwich or if he should try a cake before he got too full to want one. A square covered in sprinkles that looked as if it would be vanilla had his attention, so he reached for it as he replied. "It is alright, sir."

"Alright," Dumbledore repeated thoughtfully. "As I recall, I did not feel particularly challenged in many of my classes at first either, so like you, I sought to expand myself with extra curricular intellectual pursuits."

Severus nodded. "Yes sir. You were writing essays that were published in wizarding journals when you were my age as well as corresponding with famous wizards! Any famous wizard I would like to talk with is dead, I am afraid," he added with a regretful sigh and Albus Dumbledore chuckled.

"You would write to Slytherin?"

Severus nodded. "Oh yes sir, and Ravenclaw but mostly I would write to Merlin and Nimue!"

Albus nodded thoughtfully. "What would you ask Merlin and Nimue. Or would you tell them things instead?"

"I would ask them to teach me the spells they found most useful, and I would ask for their favorite potion recipes."

Albus nodded sagely. "Good choices."

Severus's favorite book was one his Mum had given him when he was five years old. It was called, Druids and Warlords, where Magic and Muggles once met. The cover had always inspired him with its very sight, filling him with excited awe. Merlin stood in flowing green robes extending a crystal ball in both hands who's depths held a fire like sparkle, as if magic itself was trapped within its crystalline structure. The book showed a unity between Arthur the Muggle and Merlin and Nimue, the druids who believed in his cause and fought for it with their magic. Severus knew that Merlin and Nimue would not dislike him for being half Muggle, because like him, they knew that there were some good Muggles who actually liked magic.

"I was writing essays at your age, but you are crafting new spells, which is just as advanced. I don't see other eleven-year-olds at this school having such aspirations," Dumbledore said.

Severus smiled. "Thank you, sir."

"It is only the truth," Albus assured. "I am saddened to hear that Hogwarts isn't impressing you, though. If there is any way I could help..."

"Oh could I skip ahead to the third year with Heather and Raislen," Severus asked excitedly. He bounced slightly in his seat as he spoke, filled with the eager hope that it could be that easy. Could one simply ask for what they needed and actually get it simply for asking?

"Alas I cannot do that. The board of education won't allow it," Dumbledore said, honest regret in his kind blue eyes. The kindness didn't serve to make Severus's disappointment any less, though.

"But why...sir!"

"It is just how the board of education operates," Dumbledore replied in the same kind gentle tone. "Believe me if I were able to skip ahead grades, I certainly would have myself, but I took seven years to graduate just like everyone else. It is the board's belief that a young witch or wizard requires a certain amount of practice in a skill before it is safe for them to continue to a higher level. In most cases, they are likely correct, but not all. If I could, I would test you and put you through to as many advanced classes as you could pass into, but though I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts, I am not fully in charge." Albus smiled, though the expression did not touch his eyes this time. "Don't tell anyone though," he chuckled.

Not fully in charge, even though he was headmaster? That sounded like a foul deal to Severus. "That must be annoying."

Albus nodded. "To say the least. Other than your issue with classes, though, is there anything else I can do to make your time here more enjoyable?"

Severus sighed. "I suppose you can't send those Gryffindor Gits away to Australia or some place equally as far," he wondered dryly and Albus chuckled.

"You've got tough requests today. Unfortunately I cannot grant that one for you either." Lifting his cup of tea, Dumbledore took a sip before continuing. "Believe it or not, Severus, it takes all kinds to make the world run properly. Those boys may seem difficult, and they may be difficult, but there is a place for them in this world. There are positions only they will be suitable to fill, even if they may not particularly wish to do so, and what they do can be useful when it counts the most. Just try to remember that when they seem most difficult. And of course never hesitate to come to me if they get too out of hand."

Severus knew that he was quite unable to keep the doubt from his expression when Dumbledore spoke of the Gryffindor Gang of Gits having a place in this world. Tobias had always said that Severus's thoughts showed plain on his face. This got him in trouble far too often with Grandfather Prince even when he didn't say a word. When Dumbledore offered to intercede if the Gits got too difficult, Severus merely shrugged. He could handle them. He'd done so far.

"You are a lot like your mother," Albus observed thoughtfully. "She was a very talented student, but I believe unhappy."

Severus shrugged again. "Her father is a git. He likely made her life miserable for some reason or other. Currently it's because she married a Muggle, but as Grandfather Prince seems to thrive on being dreadful, I'm certain this wasn't his first problem with my mother."

Albus nodded in understanding. "Ah. And your father? Is he able to help with the situation?"

Severus bit his lip. "Not anymore. He is dead. He made my Mum happy. Now she hardly laughs." He hated how difficult it was to speak of his family, and he hated the fact that stupid tears always stung at the back of his eyes when he thought of how his parents had been.

"I understand family suffering perhaps better than most," Dumbledore said. His eyes were suddenly sad and old, and that made Severus believe him. Not knowing what to say, he merely nodded as he picked up his cup of tea.