Author's Notes

This story follows on from my previous stories Dawson's Creek – Alternate Season 5 + Daria and Dawson's Dream, part 1. It is essentially three stories set simultaneously, followed by a fourth that will tie everything back together, and lead into my next stories. Unlike previous stories, this time each chapter will have its own theme song. See chapter synopses for more details.

This chapter focuses on the gang, with some notable exceptions, spending the summer in Capeside. However, when tragedy strikes, the focus of the summer shifts quickly and dramatically.

The theme song for this chapter is Thank You by Dido.

This Chapter borrows heavily from the Dawson's Creek episodes The Long Goodbye (s05e04) and Use Your Disillusion (s05e05).

The Dorm Room, late last semester

Daria and Joey were in their dorm room, reading their emails, when they both happened to read one that was addressed to both of them.

"Dawson!" they both said together, somewhat excitedly.

Before either of them could say anymore, Daria's cell phone rang.

"Hello

This is she

Yes

aha, aha

I'll see what I can do.

I'll be right there.

See you soon"

"Well, it seems my plans have changed. But don't worry, I'll get there eventually" Daria announced in her usual monotone

The Bad News

Dawson, Pacey, Joey, Jack and Jen stood outside the Leery family home in Capeside, casting their minds back to the last time they were all together here, and all that had happened since. They were looking forward to some much needed respite. But before they could go in, Dawson felt a tap on his shoulder from behind. He turned around to see Doug standing there, in uniform. It was clear from the look on his face this was not a social call.

"Dawson, I was just about to knock" he said, downbeat

"What's going on?" Dawson asked

"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You might want to sit down" he did so, and the others gave them some space.

"Last night, your father was involved in a car accident..." This is the part of my job I hate the most, he thought, as he paused

"Oh. Is he alright?" Dawson asked

"I'm afraid not, Dawson. He was killed instantly" Doug said

Pacey and Joey comforted Dawson, by gently patting him on the shoulders.

Suddenly, a loud noise came from inside the house. Jen and Jack, who were closest, peered inside to see what happened. What they saw was Gail, holding her hand against her face, as though she were holding a phone, and they quickly realised that the sound was her dropping it. From the shocked look on her face, they could tell that she had just received the same news. Jack and Jen rushed in to comfort her.

The Funeral

The funeral was, well, funerals were always weird for Dawson. He had always found them so staged and the emotions so scripted. Now that the emotions were his, he didn't quite know what to feel, or think. He remembered being told that, there's no right way to grieve, but he couldn't help think he was doing it wrong. His emotions were so turbulent, that he actually walked out of the funeral, as the priest was speaking. While he was doing so, he remembered his twelfth birthday, and the gift that his father had given him, his first video camera. Joey was concerned, and about to follow him out, but Pacey held her back, realising he needed space and solitude.

After the funeral, there was a wake at the Leery family home. To Dawson's surprise, Grams had no platitude to offer him. He said he was surprised that she didn't invoke god, to which she replied "The Lord and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment".

Jen just silently hugged him, realising it was what he needed. He asked Jack, who had experience losing a loved one, if it would ever stop hurting. Jack said no, but it gets easier. Dawson also ran into an old friend of his mother's, who asked how he was dealing with his grief. He tried to palm her off, but she wouldn't let up. Just before he was about to blow up at her, the phone began to ring. He allowed the machine to pick up, but then remembered the message.

"Hi, you've reached the Leery's..." Mitch's voice said

Dawson desperately began pressing buttons, but nothing worked. He eventually ripped the cords from the wall, and threw the whole machine across the room. Jack, who was closest to him, tried to place a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, but he batted it away, angrily, saying "I'm alright", even though he clearly wasn't and stormed out of the room.

Joey was staring up at the ladder that lead up to Dawson's room, and thinking about when Mitch had first placed it there. He insisted that climbing the trellis was dangerous, and didn't want her doing it anymore. She then looked over and saw Gail and Grams comforting one another, and then Dawson storming out of the house, clearly upset. He walked over to the dock, and she followed. She tried comforting him, but he explained that he felt responsible for his father's death. It seemed that Mitch wasn't too fond of his son's decision to defer USC Film School, in favour of an insignificant art school, on the other side of the Atlantic. The last time they had spoken had been in anger.

After the funeral, everyone expected things would return to normal. Instead, they got worse. Pacey more or less took over Leerys Fresh Fish, with Jen waitressing. Jack and Joey helped out at the B&B, but they switched roles from time to time, as needed. They all provided emotional support when and how they could. But the support circle got smaller, when one day, Jack and Jen got a phone call, and had to leave town for a while. Meanwhile, Gail was crying a lot, and Dawson was bottling up his emotions, so he could be strong for his family.

One night, Gail and Dawson were looking at Lily in her crib, and Gail was remembering Mitch assembling it many years ago, as they talked about their hopes for their first child. They both concluded that they wanted a freak.

"The saddest part is that she'll never know him" Gail said, sadly

"Not if I have anything to say about it" Dawson insisted

He then realised they were out of milk, so he had to stop by the supermarket to pick some up. The shopkeeper, Mark, mentioned having seen Mitch on the night of his death. He explained that Mitch had mentioned Dawson, and how proud he was of him. This made Dawson feel somewhat better. When her returned to the car, he released all of his emotions, and cried for the first time, for several minutes.

Ground Zero

Pacey was remembering when Mitch had taught him to drive, not well in Mitch's words, but able to drive, when he knocked on Dawson's door, and asked if he wanted to go for a ride.

"Sure, why not" Dawson said, reaching for his coat.

Pacey pulled up on the side of the road, near a sharp curve. There were fresh skid marks, and Dawson immediately recognised them.

"Pacey, what are we doing here?" Dawson asked

"Well, I wanted to show you something"

Pacey pointed up one direction of the road, demonstratively

"You see, the night your dad died, he was driving from up that way, doing forty miles an hour, which, granted, is a little above the speed limit, but not unusual for this stretch of road, particularly at that time of night"

"Pacey!" Dawson protested, the look of frustration clear on his face, but Pacey continued

Pacey pointed the opposite way "and at about 9.35pm, an insurance salesman named Glen Jacobson, was coming the other way. He was heading home from work to his family, his wife Pauline, and his baby Marcus, after having had a few drinks with his colleagues after work, not unusual either, except that he was about three times over the legal limit, and in no state to drive, and he knew it"

"What's the point of all this?" Dawson demanded, growing visibly more annoyed

"The point is, Dawson, that for the rest of his life, Mr Jacobson will have to live with what he did, and that person, is not you" Pacey explained, compassionately

Dawson sighed, and the two of them stood there silently for a while.

The Panic Attack

Joey invited to a party of academics in Capeside. Dawson was feeling agitated and hot, so he went to the bathroom to calm down. Unfortunately, it didn't work. His heart quickened and it felt as if the room was closing in on him, so he went back into the party, and tried to relax. A young woman began talking to him, and he tried engaging with her in an effort to settle down. She was saying something about her thesis, which was about Beowulf, or something. He struggled to pay attention. The room seemed to be spinning, and his breath was getting faster, which the young lady noticed.

"Are you alright?" she asked

"Yeah, I'm fine" he lied "I think I just need some water" but he was clearly not fine. He was hyperventilating, and panic was written all over his face.

Eventually, Joey realised what was happening and rushed over.

"What's going on" she asked, feeling worried

"I think he's having a panic attack" the woman he was chatting with said

"I'll be alright, I just want to go home" Dawson insisted, so Joey took him home, and sat him down on the couch. Dawson slowly began to return to normal. Joey decided that the best thing she could do to help him relax was to put on some music. She walked over the CD rack, picked one out and placed it in the stereo, and hit play. Thank You by Dido began playing, and Dawson could feel his muscles relaxing. Joey then went over and hugged him, and then they started kissing passionately…

TO BE CONTINUED...