Revised 1.2.2021

Chapter Six

**x**

Dimitri

I longed to shove my hands into the pockets of my duster as we walked along the quieting street. I felt oddly exposed without it. I settled for letting them swing slightly at my side, trying not to give off a hostage vibe.

I longed fiercely for the world to right itself. To glance around and be absolutely familiar with what I saw. To know before she pointed out which two homes housed moroi. For this trek to have been one of many. To have my memories mirror hers. I wish I had walked these paths every night – taking my turn for parole, switching shifts to allow Rose and Lissa privacy to gossip, sitting peacefully on the porch during my night shifts only to have Rose join me unable to sleep- so content that I'd nearly burst with its fullness. I realized with heart breaking clarity what my life could have been had I not been gallivanting across the globe with Tasha. If I had stayed like I had promised.

Instead, I found myself trying memorize each detail of their neighborhood- everything new and unfamiliar. Rose, for her part, guided me with ease. If she was aware of my increasing distress she hid it well.

It was the silence that shook me the most. Silence that was once natural felt heavy and oppressing. She made gestures and small comments but nothing further. For my part I inclined my head at the correct intervals and made non-committal sounds of agreement. Smooth, Belikov.

There was nothing that I could say. 'Sorry's' and excuses were on the tip of my tongue, but I knew each would be more inadequate than the next. So kept my silence. Not begrudging her hers.

The sun had set and the amber glow was steadily fading into darkness. Rose led me into the darkest crevices and hidden corners of the neighborhood. Knowing all too well the regret that would come if they were left unchecked. She was thorough and methodical passing her hand along the walls of dark alleyways in between apartment complexes. Listening carefully to all the sounds of the night and searched for even the smallest sign of unrest. The pride I felt was untouched by my heartache. I wondered if she had realized how far she had come. Despite being hindered each step of the way, she hadn't stopped.

She led me around the block, her sigh breaking the heavy atmosphere around us. We had finished her parole route but continued down the adjacent neighborhood anyway. I looked to her finally, unsurprised to find her eyes already trained on my face. Clasping my hands behind my back, I looked away. Waiting for the inevitable.

"Why didn't you say something sooner? Why didn't you stop me at court?"

The words were phrased as a question but her steely tone said otherwise. She didn't sound hurt. She sounded hard and tired. I needed no context to what she was referring to.

Stalling for time, I brought my hands to my hair gathering it into a bun on top of my head tying it off with the elastic on my wrist. "I wanted to keep at least one promise." I sighed, answering as honestly as possible. I wanted to respect Lissa request to let Rose be the one to guide. She would ask for the truth whenever and if ever she was ready. I would have to respect that. Unable to keep from looking at her I stopped, noticing that we had come to the neighborhood park.

Gesturing to a bench I all but pleaded, "Please?"

As a response she walked to the bench and sat down before looking at me with expectancy. Relieved, I took a seat next her.

"Okay." She said after some length.

My heart dropped. "Okay." I repeated. Unexplainably hurt by the two syllables. I screamed internally. What had I expected?

Looking to Rose I realized how ridged her body was next to mine. I could feel the anxiety rolling off of her in waves. She was having a flight or fight response to being so near me, but she struggled to stay put regardless.

Her reaction to my presence hurt, but was not unwarranted. The complications that surrounded us were undeniable, but I was there for Rose. For Rose, I reminded myself. I would do what it took to see her through this.

I sighed out loud, making every effort to relax my entire form. I placed my elbows on my knees resting my head on my fists, leaning away from her trying to give her what she needed and scooted slightly to the further end of the bench.

I pretended not notice her struggle and instead looked around the park with feigned interest. "It is beautiful here," I intoned, not expecting a response, "but I find that I miss the stars of Montana."

It was true, it was beautiful here, but it lacked the quiet beauty that was Montana. The street lights eliminated most of the stars. This little town had the character that most college towns possessed. It was urban and quant. The sidewalks were lined with shrubbery and flower beds. The buildings and houses fit neatly together with a sense of community. The little park sat in between two neighborhoods that bordered the campus. It was a town that would feel safe to college students and young families just getting started.

"I've traveled a lot over the past year," I admitted, continuing knowing that I held her attention, "We spent time in Tennessee before traveling to Europe, Ireland, and finally to Russia. I think you would like Tennessee. You'd think it had everything Montana didn't, and it's warmer." I spoke rambling a little. Hoping to sooth her frayed nerves with the rumble of my voice. It had worked at the Academy. Once upon a time when she had been too upset to think clearly, especially during the weeks following the battle, she'd lay her head on my chest as I read out loud, but that was then. "I was even able to spend a couple of weeks in Baia with my family."

"How are they?" Rose questioned, breaking her silence. He gaze was soft as she looked to me, not quite vulnerable but interested in what I had to say. Her anxiety had lessened as I spoke.

I smiled softly in return. "Much has changed since I was last there. You'd like them. Paul is 10 now and my carbon copy." I smiled remembering how he had shadowed my every step. "He's also a new big brother, Zoya made 6 months while I was there. Karolina is well, strong and as gentle as ever. Viktoria would love to meet you. She's heard of you and is amazed that I was the one to train you. She says that I 'lucked out'." I chuckled at the memory.

"You told them about me?" Rose whispered, shock evident on her face.

"After what happened with the attack they all knew. Much of our world knows about you, Rose." I reminded her gently. She nodded absently. Shying away from any mention of the attack. Talking about the battle was difficult for Rose. I knew to tread lightly.

"They all wanted to know about you." I continued, trying to meet her gaze.

Ducking her head slightly, she hid her eyes from mine.

"What did you tell them?" She asked after some hesitation. Her focus was anywhere but me.

I sighed leaning back slightly. "What they wanted to know. What you were like when we trained, how often, your classes, who you hung out with, if I still kept in contact…" I trailed off.

"Do they know?" She held my gaze this time.

"They know some. My mother and grandmother especially." I admitted.

"Tell me about the rest of your family, what about your mother and grandmother?" She prompted, once again avoiding eye contact and our impending conversation. Understandably so.

Nodding I agreed, "My mother is well. She was relieved to see me. She hadn't believed that I was 'fine' after being attacked."

Rose snorted at this, "Smart woman. You weren't." she interjected, eyeing me pointedly. I smirked in return, holding my hands up in surrender.

"I could have been much worse." I breathed softly.

Posture ridged once more, Rose shook her head in refusal. "I still don't talk about it." Her eyes had turned hard and I simply nodded in return, knowing better than to push. Post battle Rose had suffered multiple fractured ribs, a sprained ankle, pulled muscles, cuts, bruising, and lasting effects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. She would speak of the battle but only up until the moment I had been bitten. Pushing meant a complete shutdown from Rose and sometimes worse. Eddie himself had been on the losing end of the 'sometimes worse'. No one pushed.

Rose had made only one disclosure after the battle and that was to Alberta. A meeting I was unable to attend having still been in the hospital recovering. I was given the abridged version. She ignored her mother, killed the strigoi that had bitten me, fought off two more, assisted me to the mouth of cave where I promptly fainted, and dragged my body through the woods until day break. That was it. That was the story she gave me. My own memories of that night were foggy and unclear and completely unhelpful. Guardian Petrov had been the one to detail the rest of the staff. What Rose experienced that night was unimaginable. To say I was in awe would be an understatement. What she went through that night continues to haunt me. I cannot begin to imagine what it does to Rose.

Not wanting to lose her attention I kept on, "My grandmother is as alive as ever. She saw you in her dreams. She reminded me, to put it nicely, to pull my head out of my rear."

I was pleased to hear Rose's laugh follow my words. "And Sonja?" She questioned, somehow sensing that there was more.

I sighed, no longer leaning away from her. Contented when she didn't object or re-tense. "Sonja … Sonja, is expecting." I looked to Rose for her reaction. She knew my family lived differently than most Dhampir families. Knew that her mother had forgone raising her to be a Guardian. But because my mother and oldest sisters had decided to raise their children themselves they gave up being a Guardian, at least temporarily, and were often thought to be blood whores. Fire leapt in my belly at the mere insinuation. The culture that surrounded Dhampir women was absurd and full of hypocrites at best. Few things made me angrier. I knew Rose saw that well.

Her face, though neutral, was not completely devoid of emotion. He eyes spoke of understanding. "She is lucky to have your mom and Karolina with her. She will no doubt be an expert mother."

I was yet again wowed by the depth of Rose. Affection for the person beside me welled in my chest making is seemingly difficult to breath. "I agree." I smiled as Rose met my gaze and held it. Overcome by some nameless force I scooted closer so that our hips brushed, tentatively bringing my arm to rest along the back of the bench and behind her head.

I held my breath as Rose tensed for a moment before seeming to melt beside me, moving her head so that it now rested against my bicep.

She sighed, looking up into the starless sky. Studying the overhead branches. "Montana was beautiful, wasn't it?" She turned her head slightly so that she could see me.

"It was." I agreed returning her look of bewilderment, lightly twirling escaped strands of hair around my finger. We didn't understand how we had arrived at this moment, but to question it would be to break the tranquility that had so long eluded us.

"Do you miss it?" I found myself whispering. Keeping the bubble that protected us intact.

"Certain things, but I don't think Montana can take credit for what I miss." She admitted biting her lip as if to stop herself. She looked away then, but kept her head on my arm.

The world seemed to compress at that moment and I wanted to take her into my arms and just hold her there. To turn her face against my shoulder and protect her from all what I and the world had done to her. I felt helpless.

As she so often did, Rose proved to be strong even when I couldn't. "I forgive you, you know." She whispered into the night.

I closed my eyes as my breath caught in my throat. Forgiveness wasn't something I could process. Upon reopening my eyes I found Rose studying the sky. Two silent tears drifting down her cheeks.

Without removing my arm from behind her, I sat up straighter, wiping her tears away with the palm of my free hand. Lingering there for a few extra moments. "Don't. Don't cry." I pleaded. My voice rough with emotion. Her eyes focused on me then.

**x**

Rose

He stared at me with such intensity that I was sure that he was seeing right through me. I expected to feel shameful for my tears, but I didn't. I felt… free.

He was worried about me. It was a look that I was well familiar with and as distressing as it had always been. I sat up, lifting my head from his arm but did not move away. We were closer now. His face hovering over mine. Slowly, I brought my hand to his cheek. Rubbing the pad of my thumb across the sharp angles of his face and light stubble that was there. Marveling at the sense of peace that surrounded us. The devastation that I found within his eyes burned into me. "It's okay, Comrade." I crooned softly. His breath caught and I knew he was struggling to keep himself together. "We'll get through this." I found myself in his arms then. Pressed tightly against his chest as he rested his head on top mine. His heart hammering wildly against my ear. I hugged him back tightly. I realized with suddenly clarity how much we both needed that moment. How whatever words that we wanted to say to each would never match up to that moment. That conversation would come in time, but this was a nice start. Both of us were caught between what was right and what we felt, this moment just happened to be both.

I had spent the past ten months surrounded by those who love me the most. Every day they had tried to bring me out of my darkness, and somedays it was easier for me to play along than others. But nothing compared to being in his arms in that moment. A part of me healed then. Nothing was truly fixed. Nothing at all, actually. But in that moment I was pulled back together. The past ten months had left its scar, but it was no longer a bleeding wound. I would be able walk away with a sense of peace, even if our reunion only ever amounted to this moment. I was suddenly no longer afraid to let go. I could do this. The bond that Dimitri and I shared was strong. And we were both stronger because of it. We were moving into a new phase of our lives. We had hurt and insecurities to work through. I didn't know what that would mean for us. I didn't know where that conversation would leave us. If we would ever be back to where we were in the weeks that led to graduation. If we would ever be us again. I simply didn't know. And for the first time, I found that I was okay with that. I didn't want to know. The thought hurt, but I knew with sounding peace that we both needed time to heal further. This was only a step along the way.

I was the first to pull away. We sat there for a moment simply looking at the other. We were both sad. Nothing would probably change that anytime soon.

"I have a lot of questions," I admitted.

He nodded and smiled in return as if that was a given. "When does Rosemarie Hathaway not have questions?" He teased, but I knew he too felt the seriousness that surrounded us.

"BUT," I continued, narrowing my eyes mockingly, and his smile grew wider. My heart thumped unevenly. "We have two weeks."

"Yes we do." He agreed, his smile sobering into a more neutral expression. Waiting for me to guide the conversation. We were both apprehensive about what the next two weeks would do to our lives. Scared and excited, but ultimately ready.

"We have two weeks to discuss what we need to. I'm not in a rush. I have a lot to think about, and I'm just not ready to face all of this. I need time, but I promise to come to you when I'm ready."

"I'll wait. However long is necessary." His accent thick, his tone revealing how seriously he took what I had to say. "I know you must be confused. I have a lot of explaining to do." His eyes reflected a firm resolve. My heart clinched.

The rumble of his voice never failed to sooth me. Conflicted as I was, I wanted to jump back into his arms in that moment. To erase the hurt and rejection that I knew we both felt. My life seemed to make sense again with Dimitri around, but I knew I couldn't. I needed to think. I needed time to think clearly, and Dimitri was not a conducive environment for thinking at the moment.

I settled for offering him a smile instead. "I want to start fresh. I think we could both benefit from that. I know this isn't easy. Being in such close quarters for the next few weeks will no doubt be hard at times, but I think…" I trailed off, easily getting distracted by the depth of his gaze. He was listening intently and waited for me to continue. Giving me the time I needed to gather my thoughts.

"I think we should try to be friends." I concluded, my voice trailing off into a whisper. I dropped my gaze from his. Suddenly fearful to be rejected. Absolutely hating that I felt weak. Stupid. My heart raced wildly in my chest again and my palms began to sweat. I closed my eyes against to strain that threatened to overwhelm me. Losing him meant something entirely different to my unconscious mind. It's not like that. We are not there, I reminded myself. I reached out with my other senses trying to convince my body that we were not in the forest surrounding St. Vlad's. I could hear the buzz of the street lights, the smooth wood of the bench beneath my palms, and the hum of car engines at a distance. Slowly, I was willing my heart rate back to a normal speed.

Dimitri was quiet during this time, I hated to think what he must have saw when he looked at me. A broken Rose who couldn't get it together. "Rose." His deep voice was gentle as he called out to me. "Roza." He said again more firmly when I didn't open my eyes to look at him. That did the trick. I was surprised to find that his eyes were wet. I gasped, shocked. "Do not be afraid of me. I know what I have done, and it is my job to correct it. I will be whatever it is that you need me to be. Don't fear. Please." There was a hard edge to his voice.

"I'm not afraid of you, Dimitri." I corrected, knowing the truth. "I'm am afraid of what answers you have for me." My voice was hard but I knew my eyes revealed more of my pain than I would have liked. "Don't pity me." I snapped. Hiding my hurt with anger.

His lips parted in shock and I saw the flicker of anger that crossed his features at my accusation. "I don't pity you." He answered firmly. "I admire you, I always have."

I looked away, finding it difficult suddenly to control the waves of emotions that crashed within me. I couldn't stand the look of compassion etched across his face. I envied the composure he always seemed to manage. I wanted to both punch and kiss him in the same sentiment.

It was him who broke our stony silence. "Being friends with you would be an honor." He said quietly. "I didn't mean to upset you." He said somewhat helplessly.

My heart melted slightly at his words and I groaned, knowing that it was impossible to stay mad. "I'm not upset." I nearly growled. I'm damaged, I amended silently.

He chuckled at the absurdity of my words in contrast with my tone, breaking the tension.

Giving up, I returned his smile. "I'm not upset," I repeated, "I'm…. confused." I answered after some length. Finding the whiplash of emotions somewhat comical.

"I can understand that." His words were solemn, but his face still held traces of humor. "Let's work on being friends for now, and let the rest come in due time."

He waited, looking to me for confirmation. For all of his composure Dimitri was equally as off balance. I smiled softly. "I can do that." We sat that way for a few moments longer. Smiling stupidly at one another in the middle of an empty park.

"It is really good to see you, Dimitri." I admitted after a while, figuring it was a friendly thing to say.

"You as well, Roza. It has been a long year." He agreed, letting out a sigh.

"Understatement." I deadpanned. Laughing as I stood.

Dimitri followed suit, knowing that it was time that we headed back. We'd been gone a half hour. It was time.

We walked quietly along together for a while, peace settling comfortably around us once more. The house was in sight when I broke the silence, "So shorts, huh?" I couldn't quite hide my smirk as I appraised his kneecaps with raised eyebrows. "I don't think I've ever seen you're your kneecaps in the day light before." I teased merrily, unable to hold back my laughter.

Dimitri tilted his head back and groaned, but I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. "You would." He accused. "Enjoy the view while you can, they will be jean clad from hence forth." Eyes sparkling he narrowed his gaze playfully as he looked down to me.

"Even on the beach? And here I thought you would be a Speedo kind of guy." Laughing, I dashed away as he made a grab for me. We had made it to the house and I sped up the front steps far from his reach. Smug, I stuck my tongue out at him as he ambled his way to where I stood. He had almost walked past me, reaching the front door before he paused and leaned in close so that his mouth hoovered just over my ear. "Fear not. I have my Speedo packed and ready." He whispered, accent heavy and deep voice sending vibrations throughout my body. His hot breath washing down my neck sending shivers down my spine. And like that he was gone. I could almost sense his smirk as opened the door to house, stepping inside. Leaving me standing opened mouthed staring blankly into the street.

Dimitri fucking Belikov.

This was going to be a long two weeks. It'd be a lie to say that I was just a little excited either. For more reasons than one. Dimitri in a Speedo. A tremble ran throughout my body at the thought.

I came to slowly, my insides fluttering wildly only to find Christian staring at me in horror. "Close your mouth. You'll catch flies."

My jaw snapped shut with a click and I glared hotly at Christian. The lack of privacy in this house was astounding. "Ass." I snapped, trying desperately to will away the blush that was creeping up my neck.

He just smirked. "Supper is ready, if you think you can settle your girly bits, we're all waiting."

Christian neatly dodged the punch I aimed at his shoulder and stepped quickly into the house with me following closely. Locking the door behind us I made my way into the kitchen. Immediately making eye contact with Dimitri, I let my hair loose from its pony tail offering him a seductive smile in return. I had the distinct pleasure of watching his eyes widen comically before he looked away quickly.

That's right, Comrade, two can play this game. I would get him back for riling me up, and by the looks of it he knew it. We shared a secret smile as I made my way past him to help Lissa and Darren in the kitchen.

Being friends with Dimitri might just be better than I imagined. We were mentor and student then lovers. Friendship was new and unexplored territory for us.

A small smile still lingered as I came into the kitchen. Lissa smirked knowingly as she watched as I gathered the dressings and seasonings, effectively erasing all signs of a smile from my face. I glared in return, turning my back to get the wine and water from the fridge, all the while knowing her eyes stayed on me. I passed the wine bottles along to Darren to bring out which left Lissa to harass me without witness.

Deciding to get it over with I turned to face her, putting one hand on my hip. "What." I pressed. Knowing what was coming. She was overcome by giddiness and smugness.

"Oh, nothing." Lissa sang, taking the water pitcher from my hands, eyes sparkling mischievously.

"We're friends. That's all." I insisted, my heating face betraying me.

"It's nice to have friends." Lissa agree sweetly. The knowing smirk ever present.

"We are." I persisted.

"Mmhmm." She murmured. She was enjoying this far too much.

"You're the worst." I couldn't help but smile as her smirk turned into a full blown smile.

"You love me." She laughed, waiting for me to gather what we needed and following me into the dining room.

A/N:

A short Christmas gift for you all, an early chapter- admittedly a short one.

The good news is that I have the next chapter almost completed.

May we find Christmas peace in our everyday lives. Good night to all and to all a good night.