Once Upon a Walker

Chapter 3

"I don't care about any of this fairy tale nonsense!," Glenn announced, interrupting the rather in depth conversation that was happening. "Whatever you did to bring me here, UN-do it! Now! I need to get back to my wife!" Glenn sat and listened to what amounted to a mountain of total crazy nonsense for as long as he could stand it. Snow White and Prince Charming, Red Riding Hood being a werewolf, dark curses and magic spells, traveling by tornado, Glenn didn't want to talk about whether it was real or fake or why they were here. Daryl could turn into a hippopotamus for all he cared. He just wanted to go back to the prison and make sure Maggie was safe. Preferably, right now.

"Excuse me," Regina said, favoring him with a nasty look. "I didn't realize your marital problems were top priority. We only have an entire realm here we're trying to save."

"I don't care about this realm," Glenn said. He was becoming more and more agitated the longer he stayed in this place. "You brought me here, so you can send me back!"

"Magic doesn't work like that," Emma said, trying to diffuse the situation. To be fair, she was still new to the workings of magic. But riding a tornado wasn't like hailing a taxi cab. Traveling between realms took a lot of strong magic. She glanced at Regina, hoping the woman had a better explanation.

"The spell I used to bring you here, I think it tied you to a purpose. The magic won't release you until the purpose has been fulfilled," she said.

"You think?," Rick asked. He didn't like the sound of that. And while he wasn't going to throw a tantrum like Glenn, he also had people, including his newborn daughter, that he was worried about back at the prison. The place wouldn't stand long against the Governor with only Maggie, Carol, and Hershel to defend it.

Regina shrugged. To be fair, she never used that spell before. At least not in that way. And she was trying to conjure a weapon. Not a bunch of pain in the butt tagalongs.

"We're in Oz," Henry said, glancing up from the giant book he and Carl were thumbing through. Beth was kneeling down behind the boys, reading over their shoulders. "If you complete your quest, that should give you the power to transport yourself back home," Henry said.

"Yeah," Carl added, "...just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz."

Rick smiled. While the rest of them were skeptical about the concept that fairy tales were real, Carl accepted the idea right away. Just like he accepted their new way of life after the outbreak. It was one of the advantages of being young. He was much more open to new ideas.

Rick felt a rush of calming energy when Emma put her hand over his, giving him a gentle reassuring squeeze. He turned towards her. And for a moment he was lost in her eyes. His skin tingled where she was touching him.

"If that doesn't work," Emma said, "I promise I'll do everything in my power to help you get back home." Looking at her, Rick wasn't sure why he was so eager to leave only a moment before. And he had the sudden notion that maybe this was all a dream. Not just this new stranger reality, but all of it. The walkers, the prison, Lori dying. Maybe he was still in the hospital, unconscious. And the woman touching his hand was an angel. She certainly looked like one.

"What do we need to do to complete the quest?," Rick asked. Dream or not, sitting around debating the reality of the situation wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"We have to defeat her," Carl said, lifting the large book and turning it around so his dad could see the picture inside. The illustration was of a woman with green skin and a pointy black hat, surrounded by a bunch of the flying monkeys that just attacked them.

"Who is she?," Rick asked. Carl laughed like it was the silliest question he ever heard. Rick sighed. He knew who the woman looked like, but he figured it was safer not to assume anything.

"Dad! Duh! She's the wicked witch!," Carl exclaimed. Rick glanced at Emma for confirmation of this. She nodded, trying not to start laughing herself.

"I really need a golly darned drink in the worst flocking way right now," Merle lamented, burying his face in his one good hand. The man was uncharacteristically silent earlier, while Emma tried to explain everything that was going on. He just stared at her and everyone else with varying expressions of horror and disbelief on his face.

Beth rose from her spot behind Carl and Henry, crossing the room and twisting the cap off her water canteen. She offered it to Merle, giving him a nervous smile. He thought about hollering at Beth. And telling her water wasn't what he meant when he said he needed a drink. But she looked so sincere in her attempt to help him. And it was maybe just a little sweet that she thought he was only thirsty. Merle took a long swing from her canteen and handed it back.

"Thanks," he lied. "That really hit the spot."

"Okay," Rick said, clapping his hands together. "Everyone check your ammo. We're gonna need it if those monkeys come back."

Rick didn't know much about defeating a wicked witch. But he figured having a full clip couldn't hurt. He flipped open the cylinder of his colt. Rick had to blink a few times. He was sure he fired his gun. He hit at least four of those monkeys head on. Their bodies were littered outside the open doorway. But his gun was fully loaded. Not a single bullet was missing. He racked his brain, trying to remember if he stopped and reloaded it at any point.

"I'm full," Merle announced, popping the full magazine back into his browning hi power after checking the chamber. He took Beth's colt detective special from her hands and checked the cylinder, finding it just as full as his own gun. He handed it back. "She's full too," he observed.

"Me too!," Carl hollered. Glenn's gun was also fully loaded. Rick pulled his spare gun from his boot, checking that too. He released the clip, which was also full. And he was sure that gun only had a few bullets left in it the last time he checked.

Carl stood up, raising his gun and pointing it towards the ceiling before he pulled the trigger. Then he released the clip and checked it. The clip was full. Carl popped it back into the gun with a loud click. Then he turned and fired at the wall, pulling the trigger four times. When he popped the clip out again, it was still completely loaded.

"UNLIMITED AMMO CODE UNLOCKED!," Carl announced with excitement. He popped the clip in and fired a few more times before adding, "...this is totally awesome!"

"Let me try," Henry said, jumping up and reaching for Carl's gun. Carl handed it over. Henry gripped the weapon and pointed it at the wall before he pulled the trigger. But he clearly wasn't familiar with the proper way to hold the weapon. Because when the gun recoiled Henry nearly punched himself in the face with it. Carl moved in, correcting the other boy's stance and telling him to try again. Henry fired another shot, this time with a little more control. Carl took the weapon and checked the clip, finding it still full even though someone else fired it instead of him. He popped the clip back in and handed the gun back to Henry, who began rapid firing it into the wall and yelling about how this was the coolest thing he ever did.

"That's more than enough," Regina said, quickly crossing the room and snatching the gun from Henry's hands. "Guns are not toys," she scolded, reluctantly returning the gun to Carl and telling him to put it away. Regina turned around to find that the other adults in the room did not look ready to display a show of proper gun safety for her son. On the contrary, they were climbing over the piles of dead monkeys with guns in their hands. When they got outside into the dilapidated courtyard, all of them started shooting.

Emma had Rick's spare gun. And they were aiming at one of the few large pinwheels that was still intact, trying to spin it by hitting the edges. Glenn and Beth were shooting at a tree. And Merle was unloading his never ending clip into the dead bodies of the monkeys that were piled up outside the house. Mary Margaret and David were both trying to hide how funny they thought it was. Which was hard, because how irritated Regina was with all the shooting was making it even funnier.

"I think you might have accidentally enchanted their weapons when you brought them here," Mary Margaret said, biting down on her lip to keep a giggle from escaping.

"You think?," Regina huffed, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

A giant limb fell from the tree Beth and Glenn were shooting at, crashing loudly to the ground and bringing the excessive shooting to a momentary pause.

"What in the kitchen is goin' on!," Daryl yelled, carefully approaching from around the back of one of the remaining buildings.

"We heard shooting," Ruby added. She was clinging to one of Daryl's hands with both of hers, staying partly behind the man as they approached.

"We've all got magic guns!," Carl said, pulling his gun out and waving it around. Daryl glanced at his brother. Merle shrugged.

"All the guns reload themselves now," he admitted, scowling at his brother who only seemed mildly impressed with this new development. Now that he could lick his own ass, apparently Daryl was too cool to concern himself with magical guns that reloaded themselves. From the looks of him, Merle guessed little brother had other things on his mind. "What in the hibbidy-bibbidy have ya been doin'," Merle asked, looking his brother up and down. Both Daryl and the girl that was clinging to him looked completely disheveled. Not only were they totally filthy, there was green gunk smeared on their clothes. Daryl's shirt was ripped. Leaves were sticking out of Ruby's tangled mess of red and black hair. They were covered in scratches and both sporting matching bite marks on their necks. Though it was hard to distinguish the bites from all the hickeys.

"Nothin'," Daryl responded, earning him a loud round of laughter from the rest of the group. It was plainly obvious that they'd been doing a lot more than nothing. When Merle finished laughing his ass off, he offered up his unsolicited opinion on the matter.

"Better wrap yer dog dingle up next time," he suggested lewdly, "...before you end up paying child support on an entire litter." Before he could stop himself, David snorted out a laugh. He tried to turn it into a cough, but his wife was already giving him a dirty look. He raised his hand in defeat, already whispering an apology to her. Daryl took a step towards his brother, eyeing the man before he turned back to Ruby.

"Do ya think if I bit my brother, he'd turn into a wolf too?," Daryl asked. Before Ruby could answer, Merle was already hollering.

"You keep yer mangy mutt ash the front door away from me Daryl!," he warned. "I got enough problems without havin' ta worry about turnin' into a fiddling three legged dog." Merle pointed at Ruby. "Go bite on cujo some more if yer hungry!" Merle took another step back, tripping over one of the fallen monkeys and landing hard on his ass. Daryl approached and stuck out his hand. Merle hesitated for a moment before he took it, letting Daryl help him to his feet. Then they both turned their attention towards Rick, who was obviously hoping to get the mission back on track before anything else happened.

"If we're gonna take down a witch," Rick said, "...it would probably help if we knew where she was." He glanced at Emma, hoping she had the answer to his question. But it was her mother that spoke up.

"She's got to be in the emerald city," Mary Margaret said. Regina nodded. There was nowhere else Zelena could be. From the looks of the space around them, she already destroyed everything else. And since the palace of Oz itself was enchanted, Zelena's powers would be increased just by remaining inside. Regina guessed that's why the woman came here in the first place. What her ultimate plan was, Regina didn't know. And she would rather not find out.

"How do we get there?," Rick asked. Carl laughed, pointing down at the rubble of half crumbled yellow bricks near Rick's feet. Then he and Henry chimed in together.

"Follow the yellow brick road!"