Chapter 26
It had been more then a week of watching her do this and he was fairly certain that he wasn't going to get used to the sight or the eagerness she showed.
He watched her tiny hands snap the bones back and noticed her nod to herself slightly before she grabbed the knife.
He wasn't sure if he was a good teacher or if Sophia was just a natural. What he did know, was that her precision only made it harder to watch.
She didn't hesitate when she ripped the fur away, but the swift and rough movements she made when tearing the fuzzy creatures apart, always caused him to flinch.
"Alright. It's ready" Sophia announced, as she turned what was left of the rabbit over in her hands.
He forced a smile when she turned to face him, after she finished her inspection of the carcass. What else could he do?
They were lingering on the outskirts of Montgomery hoping to figure out a way, a safe way, to move forward.
They had avoided towns for the most part, but now they were planning on walking right into one and he was trying to hide the fact that he was shitting himself at the thought.
There was no point in sharing those feelings, because in the end they didn't have much choice. They needed supplies, but more precisely he needed weapons.
He didn't like guns. They weren't a good idea around the walkers, the sound only drew more in and they were also a good way of letting people know of your existence and whereabouts. The last thing he wanted to do was draw attention to the fact that they were out in the woods alone. So, if guns could be avoided, then he would avoid them at all costs. But the fact that he was out of bullets, proved that sometimes there was no way around it.
Sometimes he simply found himself in a tight spot and he was left with no other choice but to pull the trigger.
As he served up the food he noticed that Sophia made sure to sit herself facing him, keeping herself angled away from Daphne and he noticed Daphne roll her eyes at the sight.
For the most part, Sophia simply avoided Daphne and Daryl found that a pretty fucking interesting thing to witness. Simply because it seemed impossible. But Sophia, someone who was stuck with Daphne, had found a way to ignore the women's existence.
"We stayin' here?" Sophia asked in between bites.
He shook his head and met her eyes. "Nah, some houses should be close by. Get us one for the night."
Sophia tried to hide her excitement, but he could see it dancing around in her eyes. After the week they'd had, he was happy to see it. He preferred it to the glare he had been receiving from her over the last few days.
Three things had happened, that he didn't take much notice of at the time. But with each occurrence he'd found Sophia eyeing him and the expression she offered had made him a bit uncomfortable. It was a good mix of anger and betrayal, but he didn't think he had earned either from the kid.
The first, was the foot trap.
They had been marching in the same line they always had. Daphne led the way, Sophia walked a few steps ahead of him, while he trailed along behind them.
He'd just happened to look at the ground ahead of Daphne to see the trap sticking up through the leaves. Without much thought he ran ahead and wrapped his arm around her waist, yanking her back before she trod on the thing.
He told her to keep an eye out for more and turned to tell Sophia to do the same thing. When he looked back, Sophia was staring up at him, glaring as though she was considering whacking him across the head with a branch.
The second occurrence, was when they had to cut across a stream.
There was a strong current and the rocks below the surface were slippery enough that he told Daphne he would take Sophia across and come back and give her a hand.
Once he had carried Sophia across and settled her feet safely on the hard ground, he turned and went back.
He'd taken her bag and offered his arm for her to hold onto while they trod carefully across the stream.
They had made it without anyone falling or breaking anything, none of their shit got ruined and everyone was alive, but Sophia looked like she was considering drowning his ass in the stream.
The third incident had happened this morning.
They'd been sleeping out in the open for days and he was thankful that they were nearing a town, it gave them more hope of being able to spend some time under a roof.
He didn't mind sleeping outside. But he didn't like Sophia sleeping outside on the ground. It mean they had less protection and that meant that he worried even more then he already did. So he was in a pretty good mood, knowing that they were looking at a good stretch of time ahead of them, where they might be able to rely on the protection of some walls at night.
He couldn't remember the joke that Daphne had made when he woke her up, but he felt light enough for the minute to snicker at it.
The reaction was probably as close to laughing as he'd mustered since he left Carol's side. It wasn't much, but it had earned him damn good glare from Miss Sophia, who he started to fear was plotting his demise. He was a bit worried that he's be murdered in his sleep, never knowing exactly what he had done to deserve it.
He didn't think to much of Sophia's moodiness. He knew she was most likely just looking for shit to be angry at. He never pushed her for answers. He could take her dirty looks and cold shoulder, as long as she minded him when she needed too and she didn't give up on their end game. She could be just as pissed as she needed to be.
He just needed her to keep going.
By the later afternoon they had stumbled upon a house and he left both Sophia and Daphne behind to make sure it was safe.
Once he checked the place out he turned to give them the all clear.
He waited in his spot while Sophia ran ahead of Daphne to glue herself back to his hip.
"Nothin' inside. Looks like it's been empty for a good while" he told them as he knelled down on the ground.
He dropped his bag in the dirt and started going through it, looking for a bottle of water when he heard Sophia's sharp intake of breath, quickly followed by Daphne barking out his name.
It happened quickly.
Four Walkers came at him from his right side and Daphne ran at them, ready to start taking them down with him.
As her knife connected with the skull of the first, his bolt took down another. He pulled his knife out, ready to take down another, when he noticed that a fifth was coming out of the woods.
There was no time to go after it when he had one so close to him already. Daphne was wrestling with her own, trying to reach up and take it out, struggling because of its height.
He killed the one he had, but as he turned to take down the late comer he saw that it had his sights set on Sophia.
In true Sophia form, she had her eyes close and ears covered and he could once again see her mouth moving in a quiet whisper.
He ran at the walker as it approached her and tackled it to the ground. Trying to hold it in place while it snapped its teeth at him. He aimed and swung his arm, instantly feeling the the skull break as he drove his knife through it's temple.
He was so relieved and at the same time in a state of panic.
It was far to close and that alone was enough to snatch the air from his lungs. He rolled off the thing onto his back and sucked down a few rough breaths, trying to calm himself down.
"What the hell were you thinking" Daphne growled viciously, making his head snap up, assuming she was talking to him.
She stood over Sophia glaring down at the girl who was still far to freaked out to answer.
"Are you stupid? Why the hell would you close your goddamn eyes?"
"Hey!" he barked, jumping up to his feet and storming over to her.
"She almost got you killed. You saw what she did" Daphne snapped pointing at at Sophia while she spoke.
"Shut ya fuckin' mouth Daphne" he growled back through his teeth. Hoping his tone alone was enough to warn her. She was shitting herself, he could see it in her eyes, but she didn't know what to do with that fear.
"How are we supposed to protect her when she's to stupid to-"
"There ain't no WE. You hear me! I don't need to you to protect her. She's not your concern and I fucking told you that shit already." He reached down and snatched the kid off the ground roughly and headed into the house. His anger only got worse when he pulled the kid into his arms, she was shaking like a leaf, she was pale and obviously in shock. She didn't need this shit.
What he had said was true. There was no We. He didn't care that Daphne was scared. He didn't care about her feelings or thoughts. All he cared about was Carol's kid, all he could think about was what Carol would think if she could see the look on Sophia's face right now.
They usually all stayed in the same room at night, but he was damn near ready to loose his mind at Daphne and he needed a break before he snapped and left her ass behind.
He walked into the first bedroom he spotted and closed the door behind him before he planted the kid on the mattress. As he stepped back, he could see that her eyes were flooded with tears and her face was red raw.
He sat down next to her and tried to swallow his anger down, knowing it would only make things worse right now.
"You alright?" he asked trying to keep his tone even. She nodded and wiped her eyes off harshly, obviously wishing the tears weren't there.
"I'm sorry. I was scared. I didn't mean to-" she whispered weakly keeping her eyes on the floor.
"You'd be stupid not to be scared. And I was fine, I'm here ain't I?" he promised, as he watched her defeated expression deepen.
"She's right". She kept her eyes locked on the shiny hard wood floors, while her fingers pulled at the threads around her knee anxiously. The sight of her right now made his stomach twist. The sight added another blow to the blunt pain that he felt in his chest, every time he thought of Carol. And that made him angry.
"No she ain't. She's a cold bitch. I told you, she don't know us. She don't know you. She's got no right talkin to ya like that"
He quickly swallowed down some breaths and tried to pull back the anger rising in him before he walked out there and lost his mind at the women.
He knew he needed to find a way to get Sophia to stop reacting to the Walkers the way she did, but yelling at her? Calling her stupid? Blaming her for shit that she wasn't in control of? That was not the way to help her. If anything, he was sure Daphne had just made things worse.
"I'm useless" she added quietly, her voice breaking as the words left her mouth.
His brow knitted together and he lowered his head slightly as her words swam through his head.
"No ya ain't. Why would you say that?" he questioned, his jaw tensing more and more as he considered the statement.
"Did she say that?" he spat, ready to go out there and rip into the cold bitch.
But when Sophia shook her head in response, he froze in place and watched the tears reappear before she turned away from him.
She crawled across the fancy king size bed and dropped down onto the mattress with a thud, keeping her back to him while she curled up into a ball.
He watched her for a long moment, feeling all the rage drain from him at the sight of her lying there.
He moved back on the bed until he was leaning into the headboard and got himself comfortable. It was late and he knew that they both needed to sleep. They were all exhausted and he would need to get up later and go on watch, so he decided not to push this much further.
He knew she was silently crying but he didn't know what he was supposed to say to soothe her. He wasn't any good at that shit. Anything he had to say would just be him repeating himself and he didn't think she really wanted to talk to him right now anyway. But with all that in his head, he also knew he couldn't just sit there and say nothing.
"You ain't stupid, n'ya' sure as shit ain't useless. Anyone who says you are, is an asshole"
She didn't respond but he did notice her breathing even out slightly and for that he was grateful, he didn't really have much more to offer her.
He wasn't a complete moron. He knew who had told her that shit. But he didn't want to taint the air she was breathing with the assholes name. It wasn't going to help her right now. The more she even thought about that prick the worse shit was going to be.
He woke to the quiet knock at the door and his name being called in a hushed tone.
He ignored Daphne for a second and looked over at Sophia. The kid hadn't been disturbed by the sound and he was relieved that she could spend a bit more time lost in whatever it was she dreamed about.
He got himself up slowly and grabbed the corner of the blanket that they both had fallen asleep on top of., pausing only for a second when he heard Daphne slowly open the door behind him. He didn't turn to see her, instead he continued on folding the blanket over the kid before grabbing his things and leaving her to sleep.
He walked to the bedroom door and Daphne folded her arms around herself tightly, defensively as always. She stepped out of his way and watched him cautiously as he approached.
"You want me to stay with her" she offered, but her tone was almost condescending.
"I want you to stay the fuck away from her" he spat in a harsh low growl as he stepped around her and went outside to go on watch.
He walked around the house keeping a keen eye on everything, while he tried to burn out the anger he had in him. He knew he probably shouldn't be as pissed as he was, but he couldn't help it. The women was driving him up the wall.
He didn't understand why someone would see a scared kid and snap the way Daphne did. He never thought she would actually hurt Sophia, but she damn sure wasn't doing her any good. She couldn't stop for a single second and consider the reasons why Sophia was the way she was. And that was more then enough to annoy the shit out of him.
Daphne was without a doubt the most selfish person he'd met in a good long while.
He decided that he needed to keep the kid close from now on, even closer then he already had been. He didn't want her to have to deal with Daphne on top of everything else. Basic fact was that he only needed Daphne for was a few hours in the evening to keep watch and that was the end of it.
When he could see the darkness dying he went inside and walked passed Daphne leaving her asleep on the sofa and headed into the bedroom where he had left Sophia.
To his surprise she was awake, sitting on the middle of mattress looking at a notebook while eating what looked like a granola bar.
"Where'd ya find that?"
"In the drawer over there" she said, pointing her finger to the vanity. He looked around the room and noticed that she had been ransacking it, nothing was as he'd left it.
"Got you one" she added tossing the bar onto the mattress.
He sat himself down and tried look over at what Sophia was reading but he couldn't get a clear view.
"What ya looking at?" he asked biting half the stale bar in one go.
"It's like a diary or something. Not really sure" she said narrowing her eyes on the page.
"There's another one here..for her" Sophia mumbled, lazily holding the bar up in the air as she continued looking at the book she found.
He dropped his fingers over her wrist and pushed her hand back down. "You eat it."
Sophia looked up at him and slightly narrowed her brow.
"I'm serious Soph. Eat the bar"
Sophia watched him for a moment longer before she shrugged and opened the wrapping.
He leaned over and looked down at the handwritten lists that filled the book and rolled his eyes, snorting loudly.
"What is it?" she questioned when he made the obnoxious noise. He reached over and pointed to the list.
"Counting calories. In food."
He watched Sophia's brow crease. The explanation only seemed to leave her more confused.
"I don't get it" she said as if he had just given her a riddle to solve.
"It's a dieting thing…making sure she didn't eat to much so she could stay skinny… and by the looks of it, this women was near dead long before the world ended"
Sophia eyed the book even closer as though she was still searing for something that would her her understand. "How did you know that?"
"Merle was fuc-… He had a girlfriend that used to do it."
Sophia still looked confused but instead of questioning the book any further she tossed it aside.
"You find anything else?" he asked taking his last bite of the bar and wiping his hands together to swipe away the crumbs.
She looked up at him and smiled widely, before reaching over her side to grab something. He choked out a laugh as she carefully placed a gun and a box of bullets in between them.
Definitely not stupid or useless.
"Guess we can avoid that damn town now. You just saved our asses" he boasted, receiving a shy grin in return.
That afternoon they started to slow down so that he he could hunt, like he usually did before night fall. He never went far and usually assured that he could keep them in sight, or at least earshot.
"We might as well set up camp here for the night" he said looking around.
Daphne dropped her bag and started collecting up branches and Sophia instantly went to help her, until he called her name.
"Come with me" he said before the kid could follow behind Daphne any further.
"Your not hunting?" Daphne questioned, watching as Sophia wandered over to his side.
"Yeah I am. We are." He corrected, keeping his eyes set on Sophia who frowned in confusion before wiping the crease from her brow and chewing her lip nervously.
"You can leave her with me Daryl, I can keep an eye on her"
He nodded to Sophia and turned leaving Daphne at their chosen spot. "Get the fire started. We'll be back soon" He said without looking back to her.
She was quiet. She took careful steps and had a good sense of her surroundings. She had been this way for as long as he had known her. Always looking around and examining everything. It was odd to think that these qualities in her used to make him nervous.
He remembered being around her at the quarry and at the campsite, he'd wished like hell that she would calm down, because she made him so damn anxious every time he looked at her. Now he was relieved that she was like this. This was how he needed her to be.
He just hated to think about the reasons behind it, knowing that Ed was to blame. But the fact was that he would take what he could get right now. He would accept any trait that helped him keep her safe.
That thought reminded him there were other things he needed to tend to.
There wasn't much use in her being aware of her surroundings when she shut down whenever things got to intense. He didn't need her to fight. He needed her to fucking run.
They had been around walkers a lot since they had been out here and for the most part she had handled it well. But the difference between those times and what happened yesterday was that she was alone. He and Daphne couldn't get to her and Sophia knew it, her response to that fear was to switch off. Disappear inside herself.
He needed to work on that with her and he needed to handle this shit with more care then he was actually capable of.
"Daryl. There."
He lifted his crossbow before had even looked at her, ready to follow her keen eye.
He took the shot and took down the rabbit. He had barely lowered his crossbow when Sophia moved from his side over to the rabbit.
He watched her carefully, caught in his own thoughts as she pulled the bolt from the rabbit.
She walked back over to him, handing him the arrow, but keeping the tiny corpse in her hands. The fact that she had adjusted to doing something like that in only a short amount of time, gave him hope that he could help her. He thought about how she had knelt by him and asked him to show her how to skin the kills. She stomached it because she wanted to be useful, but it showed that she was able to do anything when she put her mind to it. She just needed someone to show her how.
After they snagged two more rabbits he looked around and noticed that they were loosing the light quickly. They had to start heading back, but he decided to start with something small. He just needed to get everything clearer in his head, before he tried anything drastic.
"Soph we gotta talk" he mumbled. His leveled tone made her stop instantly and look up at him casually. Other then her pointing out the rabbit, he hadn't heard a peep out of her and he hadn't spoken either.
"Bout what?" She asked while rolling the rabbits around in her arms to get a better hold on them.
He crouched down leaning back on his heels in front of her. "About what happened yesterday."
She shook her head and gave him a worried look. The expression that covered her face instantly reminded him of Carol, though he quickly pushed the memory aside.
"I said I was sorry" she stuttered quickly.
He shook his head as she spoke and made sure that he kept his calmness etched on his face "I don't want an apology kid. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Then what?" she questioned, watching him cautiously and taking a small step back from him. He hated that she felt the need to do that.
He let out a heavy sigh as Carol's words came into his head - Baby steps.
"I ain't mad ok. But we gotta start working something out. You need to be able to protect ya self…even if it just means running away from those things when they get to close to ya"
She nodded but he could see fear in her eyes. He knew there was more to this and he knew he needed to wrap this conversation up before she got to worked up. He didn't want her doubting herself and he didn't want her thinking he doubted her either.
She could do this, he knew she could.
He dropped his head down further, to line his eyes up with hers "Can I ask ya somethin?"
She shrugged and looked down at the dead fluff balls in her arms. He didn't know if this was going to help, but it might help him understand what was going through her head, and honestly he was also pretty damn curious.
"What are ya saying to ya self, when ya close ya eyes and block ya ears?. I see ya mouth movin'…what do ya say to ya self?" he asked in the same hushed tone.
She looked into his eyes for a long moment, obviously questioning weather or not to answer the question.
Finally, she nodded to herself and released a heavy breath through her nose, before answering him. "I'm counting"
He considered the answer, but it didn't make sense to him. Counting to what? And what the hell for? "Why?"
The sudden sadness that fell over her face had him wishing he hadn't asked, but at the same time it made him even more curious about the answer.
She dropped her head again, looking passed the rabbits and down to her feet. "It's what she told me to do" she whispered.
That was when his stomach sank and everything clicked over in his head. It seemed so obvious now that he had the answer, so obvious that he didn't understand how he hadn't figured it out earlier.
"Ya ma?" he said absently, watching the slight nod she gave.
"She told you to cover your ears and close ya eyes. Wait until she came and told you it was safe?"
He wasn't even talking to her anymore, just thinking out loud and running the realization through the air.
He could have laughed if it wasn't so goddamn horrible. She had been taught the tactic for her own safety and now he had to help her unlearn it for the same reason.
He gave her a smile and patted her shoulder lightly, easing some of then tension she was obviously feeling. "Don't fret ok. Let's go back, ya done good out here."