Chapter 31
He couldn't help but wonder what might have happened, if he had have just listened to Sophia. Maybe things would have turned out better if they had have just left Daphne behind and gone.
But he hadn't listened to Sophia. He'd gone out to collect fuel and to find Daphne a car. Only he didn't find her a car and in the end she hadn't needed one.
They drove in silence now, because he didn't know what to say to her. He hadn't known what to say to her all morning.
He had taken down the Walkers in the kitchen and then heard the snarling still ringing in his ears, coming from somewhere upstairs.
He doesn't remember a single clear thought that went through his head when he heard the sound, he just remembers running up the stairs and then down the hall.
He'd plunged his knife into the things skull and the braced the handle of the door, the door that the walker had been clawing at.
For the first time since he arrived back at the house he didn't know what to do and that was when the thoughts screamed out in his head. Without effort, his mind put everything together, like puzzle pieces snapping into place. He felt like he knew what was behind the door before he even opened it. But in what condition, he didn't know.
Slowly he turned the handle to the hall closet and took a slow step back. The hinges squeaked loudly but once the door was stilled he heard the numbers being called off.
"4952. 4953. 4954."
He dropped down onto his knees and plied her hands from her ears and she had screamed. He has no idea how long that scream lasted. The smeared dried blood that was on her hands, didn't belong to her. There were no bites on her. Not a single scratch. But something was broken in her expression and he didn't know how to fix it.
He hoped it was something Carol would soon be tending to. She was Carol's kid. Not his. He didn't know how to help her and he sure as shit didn't know how to look after her.
Mary had been right. He was reckless and he was stupid. He wasn't her father and the women knew it just by looking at him. Because he was completely fucking clueless.
He had asked Sophia what happened, he asked her how the walkers got into the house. She had offered him very few words on the matter.
She was still pale and shaking. Her eyes were still red and every so often he could hear the faint whisper of numbers being called off, in some attempt to comfort herself. Because Sophia was sure that when she was scared, as scared as she was right now, that all she needed to do was count and eventually her mother would rescue her.
When her voice would fade out, he found himself continuing on with the number she had left off on. He couldn't seem to help himself, his mind just darted the numbers off, one after the other. As though a part of him hoped that the system would work. Maybe if he continued on with the ritual then Carol would appear and she would save Sophia from his stupidity.
He didn't know much about Sophia. Not really. But he knew enough to know that if Sophia didn't want to talk, then she simply wouldn't. He had seen it before.
She had told him that when the Walkers got into the kitchen, she had ran. She had run upstairs and hid herself in the closet. She told him that was all she knew.
But he knew that she was lying.
There was blood on her hands. Daphne's blood.
Her bloody hand prints where smeared on the kitchen bench and on the railing of the stairs. But he didn't point any of that out to her. What right did he have to question her. He was just some asshole who had left her alone.
He had gotten so close to their old campsite that he could taste it on his tongue. He had gone against every rule that he had made for himself. He had put aside everything he knew to be safe and sure, all because he wanted to go home. He wanted to be back with Carol. And he was sick of waiting.
As he drove down the familiar roads and stole glances at Sophia Her eyes darted around the area, watching for some sign of their group, or sighting of Carol.
She didn't say a single word when he stopped to clear the road of a car blocking their way. She just continued to look around.
He could feel his stomach tightening as they got closer to the campsite. He could see her moving around in her seat more, as though she couldn't keep herself still.
It felt as thought the air had been sucked from the car. Neither of them could breath as they drove down the trail, back to the campsite. Their campsite. Their home.
He heard Sophia's breathing grow heavy, but he couldn't respond to it. He couldn't think about anything when he saw the abandoned lot.
He stopped the car in the same spot that he used to park his truck and got out. Sophia followed him silently, moving around the car until she was bumping into his side as he walked.
There were scraps of materials peering out from under piled up dirt. Bits of their tents and scattered clothing, buried into the earth, because it had been left their on the ground for so long.
At the same time that he felt the tugging at the sleeve of his jacket, he herd Sophia's quiet and strained voice.
"Daryl. Look. Over there"
She pulled him along behind her, over to where Andrea's old car had been left to rot. Right where he had told her to leave it, where he had begged her to finally let the piece of shit die.
Sophia let go of him and his arm fell limp at his side, as she walked over to the car slowly. He knew what she was looking at, he could see it too. Painted onto the windshield was message, that Sophia read out slowly.
"Daryl and Sophia. Wait here. We will return every day." she nodded to herself firmly and then looked at him with hard eyes. "So we wait, right"
It wasn't a question. It was a demand. She wanted to wait here for Carol to magically appear.
Sophia wasn't stupid. She wasn't even someone he would describe as being childish or hopeful. He had never seen her try create a fantasy land out of this nightmare. She knew that it was a nightmare, that was why she hid from it. It was why she closed her eyes and blocked her ears. She knew the reality of their situation. She knew what it meant to live in chaos and fear. She had been living in this world since she was born. She knew that monsters existed long before the dead had risen.
For as long as he had known her, it had always been obvious to him, that she was very aware of her surroundings. She could look around and see the clues. She had been hunting with him and asking him all the right questions. Sophia could look around and see things for what they were.
So right now, he knew that she could see all the things that he could see. The painted message was peeling and cracking. Covered in so much dust you had to squint to see the words.
He couldn't see a single clear track on the ground around them. If the group were returning everyday, like the message implied, then he would see clear imprints left on the ground.
But still, Sophia wanted to wait. And he agreed with a nod.
Maybe the kid had the same thoughts running through her head that were spiraling through his.
Perhaps their group no didn't lingered in the area when they checked on the space. It had been weeks, after all. It would make sense that they didn't feel the need to wonder through the site anymore. Maybe tomorrow they would hear the car pull up and they would wave them down. Everything would be fine. He wanted to believe that. He wanted to twist this nightmare that was surrounding them, into some kind of fairy-tale, one where everyone lives happily ever after. But it just all sounded like bullshit.
"Should hunt. Get somehtin' to eat" he said flatly as his eyes fell on her, wondering what was going through her head right now.
She shook her head, with her eyes still fixed on the faded message."We should wait. They might come. We don't want to miss them."
He could hear it in her voice. It sounded the same as his. Empty. She didn't believe the words she was saying.
She just couldn't accept what was right in front of her. She didn't want to.
"Car's bright red Soph. They'll see it." he promised, wishing he could force some kind of emotion into his tone.
Sophia looked at their car and chewed her lips nervously. She knew that he was right, but it wasn't enough.
He sighed and nodded to himself. Why should she trust him? He had been wrong so many times before. He thought everything would be ok when he left her alone this morning. He could still see the dried blood on her hands and arms, acting as proof that he was a reckless and stupid moron.
"Look. We wont go far. Ok?"
Finally she nodded and followed him over to the car, to gather the few belongings they had.
She sat beside him watching the flames flicker. It had been two days, but there was no sign of anyone coming to the campsite. The first day he couldn't deny that there was a part of him that was expecting a miracle. But he wasn't surprised when the sun disappeared from the sky and they were still there alone. Waiting on someone who he knew wasn't going to show up.
Carol wasn't here, their tent was long gone and so was their group. But they still sat in the same spot they had once shared. They had built upon the same burnt out fire that they used to light up everyday.
He needed to get her to come with him tomorrow. But he would save that conversation for the morning.
Somewhere inside of her, he knew she was thinking the same thing he was. They couldn't just sit here praying that everything would just work out.
He knew that It had been to long. They had been out here too long. There was no doubt in his head now. They would think that he and Sophia were dead. But seeing the message painted on the car gave him hope that Carol was at least alive.
Sophia was so close to him that he couldn't make a move without brushing against her side, but when he looked at her face he could see that she was miles away. He couldn't ever remember seeing so much distance in her expression.
She had been quietly repeating "They'll be here soon" and "They're going to come here and find us. Just like the message says", but no matter how many times she said these things out aloud it was obvious that she couldn't make herself believe them. And even though she couldn't make him believe them either, he had nodded in reply. But he knew she could see straight through the gesture.
Sophia squinted at the fire slightly before she spoke. "You think my Ma and Ed are-"
He looked down at her and watched her expression twist before she dropped her eyes back down to her feet. He was sure she hadn't meant to say the words out aloud and she had caught herself before she finished. But it didn't matter, he knew what the question was.
"No. I don't" he said with complete certainty as he tossed some more wood onto the fire and settled back next to her.
She looked up at him with narrowed eyes and stared at him for a long moment before she spoke again. "How do you know? You're not with her…she left him because of you and now-"
He shook his head as she spoke and cut her off before she could continue. "That's bullshit. She didn't leave Ed because of me, she left him cause of you. Because of what he did…because of what he could do"
The crease in Sophia's brow deepened even more and she was frowning at him. But he knew the expression was made more out of confusion then anything else.
"At the Quarry. He grabbed ya. Hurt ya…" He added quietly drawing his eyes back to the fire as he spoke. "Maybe I'm not suppose to say that." He said as he considered the reasons why Carol wouldn't have ever told Sophia that herself.
"Probably not mean to put all that on you." He sighed then and shook his head.
His eyes hurt and he was tried. He was getting even more tired when he considered the fact that tomorrow, if they couldn't find Carol, he was looking at yet another sleepless night ahead of him.
"Better then you thinkin' she left his ass cause she wanted to run around with me. I told her to leave him. She couldn't do it." He smiled slightly to himself. He could still hear her voice in his head, he could remember what she had told him that night in the tent. And he growing to weak to push the memories of being curled up with her. Warm and safe.
"Once she saw that mark on your arms it was fuckin' done and dusted" he rambled. That was another sign that he needed to sleep.
When Sophia didn't say anything else he looked over and found that she looked even more confused then she had before. He could see her eyes darting around in front of her while she worked something out in her head.
Without saying a word she got up from her spot and walked over to their car. He kept a close eye on her until she climbed into the backseat and closed the door.
He felt like he was watching her slowly sink into something and he didn't know how to help her. It would be a lie to say that her dark mood had been just about the abandoned campsite. He knew it was about Daphne. It was about what ever had happened.
He'd asked her if there was anything she needed to talk about, but when Sophia had ignored the question he hadn't pressed the question.
After all, who the fuck was he to push her?
The next few updates are long chapters, they might take me a little while to finish, but hopefully I can get stuck into them and move this story along.
Drop me a review and let me know what you think.