I started opening my eyes when we were in the big city, which must have been Sacramento. Sydney was driving, but Dimitri in the passenger seat was awake, navigating her with the map in his lap. Six hours had passed while I was sleeping and now the sun was shining brightly above us. Jill slept soundly next to me, still exhausted from yesterday's events. I made sure Lissa was safe by a quick visit to her mind and was happy to find out she was sleeping.
"Are we in Sacramento?" I asked while stretching. Dimitri turned and looked at me alertly, slowly assessing my condition. His eyes rested a little longer on my injured arm, which I pressed to my chest to ease the pain.
"Yes. We should be soon in the parking Abe mentioned. But we will still have to wait for a feeder for Jill and Adrian. He managed to reach Abe. Here to the left," he directed Sydney, who made a turn.
"Rosedale?" I read out the name of the neighborhood, with a sneer in my voice. My father really exaggerated sometimes.
"Mazur loves symbolic meanings, you should know that," Sydney replied to me, turning into the right street. I rolled my eyes.
"I know. When I was in prison he brought me "The Count of Monte Cristo," Sydney laughed lightly. Dimitri observed our surroundings in concentration, looking out for danger or anything suspicious. I noticed in the rearview mirror the Subaru Eddie got hold of.
The address given by my father turned out to be one of thousands of cheap eateries. We parked in the parking lot, and Eddie pulled up right next to us. I woke up Jill, who had turned almost translucent white and comforted her by telling her that the feeder was on his way. When we all got out of the car I noticed that Adrian wasn't in much better condition.
"The feeder will be here soon," I tried to comfort him as well, and he bestowed an indulgent look on me.
"I know, Rose. I spoke to your father personally. Or at least as personally as possible."
As a group, we approached a black, shiny SUV with tinted windows, prepared for seven people. I walked over to the right wheel and from behind the rim pulled out the keys, smiling widely.
"Let's wait inside. We have a chance to eat before we hit the road again," Dimitri said reasonably. Everyone gathered to enter, but he stayed last to watch out for possible danger. Eddie went in first to assess the situation inside. I positioned myself right next to Jill.
"Actually…" Dimitri stopped me before I had time to sit down. His eyes scanned the surroundings searching for dangers. "... I would like to at least change the bandage on your arm. We were supposed to take care of that hours ago."
"We kinda didn't have space for that," I said, but I also wanted to change the blood-soaked bandage. And take a painkiller. Dimitri hesitated for a while longer but finally made up his mind. He looked at Eddie.
"Eddie, stay on guard for a minute. We'll be able to see you from the parking lot, but you need to have eyes around your head."
"Sure," said my friend. I regretfully noticed that the waitress was already coming to them.
"And order something good for us," I asked as Dimitri gently steered me toward the exit, "And coffee!"
"I thought you hated coffee," Dimitri remarked once we walked through the door. We headed for the black SUV from my father.
"This is for you," I replied, and he sent me a surprised but warm look, "I know you're tough, but I also don't think you can survive another three hours of driving without coffee."
"You're a lifesaver," he replied, smiling and opening the door in search of a first aid kit. "I've been dying to get one."
He plunged into the depths of the car and returned with the first aid kit, which was quite well-stocked. We sat in the middle seat so that we could keep an eye on the door to the cafe and our friends inside while shielding ourselves a bit from prying eyes. I half removed the shirt I stole from this guard in Palm Springs to expose the wound, and Dimitri gently unwound the bandage. He hissed in sympathy when he saw the wound.
"Rose... how did you stand it through that ride? I should have looked at it back in Los Angeles." A wild concern shone in his eyes. There was a small, selfish part of me that was happy to see that in this crazy mission, there was a part of Dimitri that worried only about me. However, I didn't want to worry him too much.
"There was no time for that in Los Angeles. It hurt a little, but it's not horrible. I've had worse," I admitted. However, as soon as I saw the wound, my stomach tightened. Blood soaked through the entire bandage, now heavy with scarlet liquid. The wound didn't look infected, but it didn't look like it was going to heal quickly either. "Besides, you can see for yourself that it's only superficial, it only cuts a little skin. It certainly does not require surgery."
Dimitri took out a gauze and began by gently washing the wound with disinfectant.
"It's a good thing dhampirs so rarely catch infections," he muttered to distract me as I hissed at the pinching sensation. Dimitri held my arm in a firm, unshakeable grip, and with his other hand wiped the edges of the wound as gently as possible.
"If we didn't, after all the wounds I had acquired, I'd probably have to have at least one limb amputated."
"It would be a terrible loss," he whispered quietly, and suddenly I felt him brush his lips over my shoulder. I laughed gently in surprise. When I looked at him, sparks sparkled in his eyes.
"Comrade, I didn't expect you to be so easily distracted."
Dimitri smiled, although the smile did not reach his eyes as he reassessed the wound. He took a thick layer of gauze and began to bandage my arm with a clean cloth.
"Well, I was hoping to distract you more."
"You have my permission to distract me as much as you like," I watched as he bandaged my arm tightly with efficient movements, "although preferably in a way that involves your mouth on different parts of my body."
Dimitri smiled slightly and put my arm down gently.
"A very tempting proposition. But it will have to wait for now." I grimaced as I tried to put my hand in the sleeve of my shirt, so Dimitri helped me with it. "Once we're in a safe place I'd like to stitch it up."
I made a face but understood that I didn't have much choice.
"This is not my preferred way to spend an evening, but do what you have to do."
Dimitri smiled sadly and leaned in to kiss my forehead. I let out a deep breath, with his lips on my skin, but it seemed that this was not enough for Dimitri. Soon after, his lips kissed the end of my nose just to end their journey on my mouth. I smiled happily at this stolen kiss. I melted into his touch, and for a moment he forgot about the whole world. We pulled away from each other reluctantly, but we knew we had to be on guard.
Inside, it turned out that only the dhampirs had ordered food. Adrian and Jill were looking forward to their own meal, and Sydney, as usual, wanted nothing. I noticed the murderous look Adrian sent her when she refused to eat. She made a face and started checking her phone. These two began to intrigue me with their unusual behavior.
"Rose, tell us everything you know," asked Eddie, pulling me out of my observations of Adrian and Sydney. I summarized everything I heard from Lissa, Hans, and Reece, concluding that for some reason Prince Drozdov wanted to get his hands on Jill at all costs.
"But I don't understand why," this time I addressed Jill directly, who was sitting to my left, between me and the wall. To reach her, someone would have to get through me and Dimitri, seated next to me. That wasn't happening." "Jill, tell me, how was it with this kidnapping? This Sara, she wanted to conduct some research on you, right?"
"I don't remember the kidnapping," she replied, "I was only awake when they pressed some cloth to my nose and mouth, but I quickly lost consciousness. I had already woken up in that mansion, and next to me was Danielle, the Moroi woman." I realized that this must have been the woman who greeted me and the researcher I had brought when we arrived there.
"Did they do anything to you besides rendering you unconscious?" Dimitri asked gently. Under normal circumstances, she should have been immediately examined by a medic, but we had to manage under the conditions we had.
"No, nothing. When I woke up I panicked a little, but Danielle assured me that I wouldn't get hurt. As long as I cooperated with them, of course."
"And how did you have to cooperate?" asked Eddie. He tried to maintain his guardian mask, but the worry for her was so evident, that he couldn't fool me.
"She said they wanted to ask me some questions and see what I could do. She assured me that they were harmless questions and if I answered them, nothing would happen to me, so I thought that probably the best thing I could do…" Her voice seemed uncertain as she looked at me with a question written in her eyes. I nodded approvingly to her.
"It's good that you did everything you could to be safe. That's exactly what you should have done. And what did they ask you about?"
"First about my physical health, and then about my mental health. Finally, in detail, she started asking about that attack at the Court and what happened afterward. About our bond," she pointed to Adrian, who was looking at her with undisguised concern, "About what other effects of being shadow kissed I noticed."
My eyes met Dimitri's. We were reminded of my alternative theory, about Jill's assassins being interested in her because of spirit.
"Did they do any... examination on you? Or anything that this amazing research institute was involved in?" Adrian asked angrily.
"They hardly managed to do anything before Rose raised the alarm," Jill shook her head, "This woman, Sara, only looked at the area where I was stabbed. I'm not sure what else she would like to do."
"So, Prince Drozdov is interested in the skills of the shadow kissed? What does he want to know?" I began to wonder aloud when the waiter brought our food. I happily welcomed my portion of pizza.
"Even if he did, why would he risk so much to work exactly on Jill?" Eddie asked. "She is a princess. He must have known that it would be almost impossible to steal her away, and on top of that, he would put all the guardians on high alert to find her. Why not Rose, for example?"
We pondered for a while when Dimitri finally answered.
"If you think about it, kidnapping Jill was easier than kidnapping Rose. Especially if they have an informant at the Court and know what the situation was for each of them. It was easier to enter a human school and kidnap Jill, who was only guarded by Angelina at night, who had received no training so far, than to sneak into the heavily guarded Court, into the royal quarters, and defeat both of us. And as for putting all the guardians on high alert, we still couldn't find Jill. Only a stroke of luck and Rose's idea helped with that."
"But Rose's disappearance probably wouldn't have caused such a stir," Eddie interjected, looking at me almost apologetically. Dimitri tensed his muscles almost not visibly, as if in silent protest, but said nothing. I shook my head.
"Certainly not," I agreed. There was no way the disappearance of the guardian would have even a similar effect to the kidnapping of the princess. "But that didn't matter; we still had zero clues. They planned it well, and even considering that all the guardians joined in, they covered their tracks so well that they didn't fear detection."
"But then we also assume that it was Drozdov's men who attacked Jill last summer?" Eddie asked. I exchanged glances with Dimitri again and got down to explaining my theory about how Jill is an important person to both spirit users and this increases the likelihood that someone will resurrect her.
"It's... unlikely," Sydney finally decided. I shrugged my shoulders. I have done much crazier things in the past. Some even involved her.
"That's true, but that's just one theory. It could be two separate incidents. Those people who attacked Jill during the vacations may have acted independently of Prince Drozdov," I replied, and we stopped the conversation as two people entered the bar and smiled at the sight of us. Dimitri and Eddie went with our vampires to a secluded place, and I was left alone with Sydney and Angelina, who continued to analyze the situation.
Angelina and I finished our meals and went to wait in our new car. I sat in the passenger seat, Sydney in the middle and Angelina at the end. It turned out that Abe had left us a shiny black credit card along with a small note that said: "for expenses".
I held the note in my hand, unable to believe that Abe had done all this for my sake. I joked that I was just waiting for a bill from him, but the bill never came. Ever since we met, my father had used up his resources to help me - whether I wanted him to or not. I didn't expect it, but I was grateful for everything he had done.
Dimitri once again approached the driver's seat, smiling at the sight of me. They thanked the feeders and, inside the car, removed the pendants that made them seem like different vampires than they were. Adrian had worked on them all the way to Sacramento and we hoped to be able to use them in the future.
We set off around three in the afternoon on our way. Jill sat between Adrian and Sydney, immediately resting her head against his shoulder, and fell asleep. Adrian rested his head on hers. They looked so much like siblings that I couldn't help but smile. Eddie and Angelina were talking about something in a hushed voice in the back. I jumped to Lissa's head, feeling that I had a moment to spare
She had already gotten up and changed into business-like clothes, which consisted of black pants and a blue shirt. She sat behind a nice wooden table located in her two-story cottage. Christian sat next to her, and my mother stood by the door. I felt relieved that she was in charge of Lissa's safety. I wouldn't have trusted anyone else so much in protecting my friend, except maybe Dimitri. Besides, it was good to see them both safe.
A laptop stood in front of Lissa, with Skype on, waiting for someone to pick up her call. Reece entered with a mug of coffee. He looked as if he hadn't slept a wink during the vampire night, just keeping watch.
Liss drummed her nails on the table, feeling nervous. This feeling hadn't left her since she learned that Jill had been kidnapped. She was looking forward to locking the prince in a cell and bringing Jill and me back to the Court. Yesterday's discussions with Reece, Christian, and Abe yielded no new revelations and she was getting tired of the lack of progress.
Finally, Hans' face appeared on the other side of the laptop. It was difficult to believe, but he appeared even more worn out than Reece. The blackened, bloodshot eyes spoke for themselves. Lissa felt bad that she still required him to keep her informed when he had so many things on his mind. He had to make sure the Court was safe, that all witnesses were captured and questioned, and that all evidence was collected. He had to do everything in his power to find out what resources Prince Drozdov might have, and where he might be hiding.
However, Hans did not become captain of the guardians for no reason. Once he saw Lissa, his expression became determined and confident. He bowed his head to her.
"Your Highness, good morning. I am glad to find you in good shape. I hope all is well with you."
"I am also happy to see you, guardian Croft. Everything is fine here. What is the situation at the Court and in Palm Springs? Do we know what's going on with Jill and the others?" she asked. Under the table, she squeezed the material of her pants tightly, and Christian gently put his hand on hers.
"We have some new information," he replied in a matter-of-fact tone, reaching for his notebook. I hated that crap. More than once I had to deal with the accusations he read out of it to me. And once he decently scolded me when I told him to close his diary. "After controlling the situation at the house in Palm Springs, we learned that ten snipers were waiting for the princess. To occupy the house they killed one guard, and overpowered the rest along with the owner of the house."
Lissa closed her eyes for a second.
"Who are these snipers?"
"It turned out that they were hired human assassins. Alchemists work with them and, as far as we know, they have no idea that they were hired by vampires. They were hired by the guardian Mayer, who was assigned to Prince Drozdov. We captured him while storming the headquarters where he held the princess before Hathaway recaptured her. Speaking of which... we also control the situation there. All the guards, humans, and dhampirs, are overpowered, along with the Moroi and the human woman. We have speculation that the latter had something to do with the research based on information from guardian Belikov, but we don't know anything for now."
"Hopefully we'll know more when we'll interrogate the witnesses. I have never heard anything about the prince's research. I also wanted to ask, what losses have we suffered yesterday?"
Hans' face sank. He swallowed hard.
"Six guards were killed during the shooting in Palm Springs. Two were killed while occupying the prince's hideout. Four in the Court. Twelve in total."
Everyone in the room froze. I also forgot how to breathe for a second. Twelve guardians. It was an unimaginable loss, especially now that we had such a serious deficit. Lissa rubbed her face with her hand, her fingers numb. She felt weak and again felt as if she had personally failed as a queen. However, she couldn't stop and dwell on it. All she could do was try to do something good in this terrible situation.
"Prince Drozdov will pay for each of them, I give my word. And while I'm here, I'll make sure that all of them are taken care of with due dignity and paid due tribute. I will try to reach out to their families and see what they will need," she decided. Christian put his hand on her back, and Hans bowed his head in a gesture of respect.
"Thank you, your majesty."
Lissa's thoughts rushed with dizzying speed. She could not comprehend what could drive a man to go so far as to make such horrible decisions. What did Prince Drozdov have to do with the spirit? And why did he resort to such extreme measures instead of talking with her when she made it clear that she was investigating spirit power at the Court?"
"Do you have any clues as to where Prince Drozdov might be?"
"Not yet. He has vanished into thin air, but our specialists are pursuing him. We hope to dig up some clues in his mansion. I'm personally going to investigate there. We have also sent people to all mansions in the prince's possession and are waiting for a report from them. The guardian team is also questioning members of the Drozdov family and his closest business partners."
"Is anything known about this traitor in our ranks?" Liss asked. Hans sighed, but I saw a spark of anger in his eyes. He always analyzed everything coldly, which is why he always managed everything so well. However, now I saw that this traitor had pulled a string and finally pissed Hans off.
"No, Your Majesty. However, this is one of the priorities at the moment. I prefer not to say what measures are against him or her now, but I do not doubt that we will eventually find them."
Lissa nodded her head. Christian moved beside her and asked his question.
"What about the Court? Is it safe enough for us to return?"
"The situation at the Court is safe for now, but until we take care of everything, I think you should stay in a safe place, your highness. I believe that by having your safety guaranteed the rest of the procedures can move faster."
"Perhaps I could help? Maybe with the use of the spirit?" suggested Lissa looking into Hans' eyes with hope. He shook his head mercilessly.
"Eventually through the computer and safe distance. We will not risk the life of your Highness. It is enough for us that the princess is with the guardians with whom we have no contact. But your majesty can actually help with investigating the clues. I will call the man in charge of collecting and securing evidence and order him to communicate with you, Your Highness. It seems to me that your help will be indispensable."
"I would very much like to start as soon as possible in that case."
"Of course. Is there anything else?"
Only a thousand things, Lissa thought. But she had to let Hans go. She bid him a polite goodbye and they hung up with a promise to keep in touch.
As soon as Hans disconnected, a list of her contacts appeared on the app, and my name caught her eye. A feeling of sharp longing mixed with concern for me pierced her heart. She was so tempted to dial the number, but she knew she couldn't. She could have put us in danger by doing so. I, too, knew of the potential risk, but I wanted her to call so badly that I disregarded it for a moment. In fact, she wouldn't even reach me, since my phone remained dead. But the temptation of talking on the phone was so strong that neither of us could shake it away.
However, Lissa had a will of steel and did not allow a moment of weakness to expose us to potential risks. She set about collecting the names of the guardians who had died. My mother surprised her by asking if she could also learn their names.
Of course, Lissa let her check the list and noticed that my mother's face dropped. She then tried to restore her flawless guardian mask, but the sadness in her eyes remained visible.
"Guardian Hathaway, did you know them?" She asked quietly and with great seriousness. Mom froze for a moment, ashamed that she was unable to restrain her feelings on the watch. However, she nodded her head.
"Yes, Your Majesty. They were good people, wonderful guardians. I am very sorry that they died, they did not deserve it. To die at the hands of the person for whom they would have been ready to give their lives had they been sent to defend him."
This time Lissa froze; all the time she was thinking about the great loss of life that had happened, but my mother's perspective allowed Lissa to look at the problem from yet another angle. She hadn't thought before that those people, whom the prince had ordered to be shot and murdered, under other circumstances would have thrown themselves to shield and save him from a similar bullet. That he murdered dedicated, loyal guardians.
"You're right, guardian Hathaway. This is inexcusable," she admitted quietly, "No Moroi should have enough influence to carry out such an action."
"Don't get me wrong, Your Highness," Mom started to explain herself, with an awkward look on her face, "I don't want you to think that I don't have a lot of respect for the royal Moroi…"
"I don't know why you should right now," Lissa said. She also thought she didn't know why the guardians should accept such treatment any longer. However, seeing a glimmer of fear in my mother's eyes, she hastily added. "But don't worry. I would never think you displayed anything but respect and loyalty for royal Moroi. Besides," she smiled at her, "You have known me since I can speak. Please, call me 'Lissa'."
My mother responded with a smile as well. In this unspeakable way for Lissa, she managed to approach my tough mother and see that she relaxed.
"All right, Lissa."
Lissa's computer rang and, to her great delight, it turned out to be a man sent to her by Hans. He eagerly sent her the materials he had found. He wanted to go over some of them with her, especially those relating to the spirit, in order to qualify and describe them properly. For more than an hour they examined the various papers that Prince Drozdov had accumulated, unfortunately, they found nothing that Lissa didn't know for a long time. Mostly they described the achievements of Saint Vladimir, a figure that Lissa and I had gone over in depth.
There were also records about Lissa - her abilities and what she told the public about her powers. Seeing the notes about herself made Lissa feel exposed as if they were conducting research on her against her consent. They had a sense that this wasn't all the material the prince had on the subject, but at least it narrowed some of the field of inquiry.
I didn't feel like going through the same information for the hundredth time, so I returned to our car. Night had long since fallen, and Dimitri was driving the car in concentration. I glanced at the back of the car and saw that everyone was asleep.
"Impossible," I smiled at Dimitri, "You're driving so boringly that everyone is sleeping."
He smiled with surprise and took his eyes off the road for a moment to look at me.
"I thought you were asleep too," he said quietly and put his hand on mine in my lap. Our fingers intertwined, and I felt as if some part of me was jumping into place. He had been so close to me all day, yet the need to touch him and be close to him never left me.
"No, I was in Lissa's head," I summarized to him everything I found out. He listened attentively, and I tried to speak in a hushed voice so as not to wake anyone up.
For a second, I marveled at how comfortable and calm I felt at that moment. The darkness enveloped us, giving the impression of privacy. His duster was wrapped around me. He gently massaged my hand and listened intently to my every word. Despite being on the run, I couldn't help but appreciate the luxury of stealing these moments together, like when he bandaged my arm and now that we could talk. I pulled my legs up and looked at him every now and then, through the faint beam of the street lamps casting light on his handsome face from time to time.
"So they don't know much more than we do," he concluded and sighed. I shrugged.
"They need to push the witnesses and make sure they have all the evidence they can get. Surely they will find something to track down the prince. Or find out why he's doing all this."
"And determine how serious a threat he is," he whispered. I grimaced.
"Hopefully not big anymore. After all, he's just a crazy prince. He could only buy himself a limited number of assassins. I think he no longer has enough resources to send someone on our trail."
"I hope you're not wrong," he squeezed my hand, suddenly becoming even more serious, "We didn't have a chance to talk, but when I was driving, I thought a lot about the return of your bond."
I nodded with a deep sigh and lowered my gaze to our intertwined fingers. I played with them as I answered.
"I thought about it too. Lissa felt fear, and panic even when she heard about the shooting and wasn't sure if we were still alive. Those emotions must have broken whatever blockage we had," I paused for a moment, looked back, and hoped everyone was asleep, as I thought they were. "I'm kinda glad it's back, but... I'm also kinda scared. You know, it was quite nice to be my own person and not take away the madness of the spirit. You remember how tragically the last outburst ended."
I trembled, recalling Victor Dashkov's empty eyes and terror when I realized that I had killed him. Dimitri squeezed my fingers.
"I know, I really do. But I also thought about the fact that whatever happens, we can handle it," he said calmly and sent me a tender look, "Remember, in the Academy, we managed it once."
"Right after I almost beat Jesse Zeklos to death."
"But you didn't. You resisted the spirit. We'll deal with it, together. So far, this bond has saved our lives."
"Well I know," I admitted reluctantly, turning my attention to the forest we were entering, "Even if I had to fight this madness... We are alive thanks to this bond. And now I think I would go crazy not knowing what's going on with Lissa."
"Maybe we can stifle the adverse effects of the spirit until the first outbreak. Anyway, I wanted you not to worry about it," he looked at me and I saw concern in his eyes. I couldn't help and laughed.
"I think that for now, you worry more, comrade. But you are right. We will manage."
Dimitri raised our entwined hands to his lips and kissed the top of mine, then gently set it down in my lap.
"You don't even know how happy I am that you are all right. Well except for your arm," he said, casting a quick glance at my injured limb. "I was out of my mind when I found out where you were. Why it's you, who are always involved in the middle of these insane actions, it's beyond my understanding."
"Hey, well I didn't plan it this way!" I laughed lightly and rolled my eyes, "Believe me, I planned this whole trip much differently. We were supposed to live in Palm Springs, spend time in the sun, maybe run along the road with palm trees in the morning... but no. We arrive and there's a mystery to be solved, another crazy mission that requires a crazy plan to break into a super-guarded mansion," I gestured with my free hand. "And even now, we're not going to Los Angeles or any seaside resort where we can lie on the beach, no. We're going to some shack in the woods." I put all my strength into dramatically breaking my voice on the last word. I succeeded and Dimitri smiled with amusement.
"It won't be so bad, you'll see. Maybe it's not the ideal place I would have chosen for you, but it's not the worst. When we were breaking you out of jail, I wanted us to come here, but Abe insisted that you should stay nearby."
"Well, that worked out for him just fine," I snorted and shook my head with exasperation, "But seriously. There was nothing in that room, not even cable, and you wanted to sit there for unknown amounts of time, spending time not talking to me, because we were not on the talking terms."
"But we didn't even sit there for fifteen minutes, thanks to you. Besides, I don't understand why this cable was a deal breaker."
This time I smiled.
"You know I can't sit still. Not even fifteen minutes. And since I couldn't watch TV, I wanted to immediately throw myself into finding Tatiana's murderer." Dimitri shook his head. I was silent for a second, thinking about our current situation. "I wondered if we could do the same now. When the Court works there in Pennsylvania, I thought about whether to start our investigation. But it seems this time we'll have to wait out the storm."
"And what made you come to such drastic conclusions?" he mocked me lightly, and I squinted my eyes warningly.
"It was different. We were endangering just our lives. Well... I guess, Sydney's too," I glanced in her direction. I seriously hoped that she was sleeping and didn't hear me. "But now that we are in guardian roles, we can't risk Jill's life."
"I thought about that too," he admitted frankly, not taking his eyes off the road, "Nevertheless, we are responsible for Jill. We need to focus on keeping her safe, in the best way we can."
"Maybe we'll wait until we have more clues, and then we'll drop her off in Canada," I said in a whisper, and Dimitri laughed. We drove for a while in comfortable silence, and I stretched my arms out in front of me, feeling how stiff I was. "Maybe you want me to drive for a while?" I suggested. He had been driving almost all day. However, as I expected, he shook his head stubbornly. He was so fucking dead set on never letting me drive I almost admired this dedication. But mostly I was pissed.
"We'll be there soon. Then I'll need you to find this man Abe had sent," he shook his head, almost amused, "I wonder if there are as many people working for Abe as for Drozdov."
"There may be more, but... I don't know. I don't think all his activity is as incredibly legitimate as he claims, but I don't believe he would use his resources for something like this. I really don't understand how Prince Drozdov could convince other guardians, our guardians, to support him in this crazy plan. To kill other guardians."
"Traitors happen all the time. The easiest way to convince them is money, and the prince had an abundance of it. Besides, I would think you understand people making some… questionable decisions when they desperately need something."
Well, it was true. I would have to be a hypocrite otherwise. After all, I was the one who broke into the prison to break free a criminal. I was the one who lied to the high court to protect Dimitri and myself. I was the one who took Lissa out of school and hid her problems when I thought it would help her.
"I would never go as far as murder, at least not if I had control over it," I said, although the words left bitterness in my mouth. I didn't have as high a moral ground as I would have liked. Leaving aside the incident with Victor, I had contributed to the deaths of innocent people in Las Vegas when I didn't let Eddie kill Dimitri. I couldn't sacrifice him in exchange for nameless people, not when I had just been given a fraction of hope that he might return to me. However, these people had most likely lost their lives. I was responsible for that and had to live with it.
Dimitri did not respond at first. We drove in complete silence for a few minutes, until he finally spoke up again.
"So would I… I never took anyone's life unless it was in defense of myself or others. Well, when I was a dhampir of course. But I also think that our history shows that nothing is simply black and white. People have to choose between equally bad options. And we are capable of doing so much for people we love."
I thought of the look he gave me when I begged him to stop fighting the guardians who came to arrest me when they thought I had killed Tatiana. At the time he wasn't sure he could love anyone, and even then he would do anything to protect me. He would fight until he fell. Later he also proved it many times. I squeezed his hand one last time and tried to lighten the moon a bit. I raised my free hand in a gesture of surrender.
"I know I started it, my bad, but I think that's enough zen wisdom for one day."
Dimitri chuckled lightly and gave me a small smile.
"You are cruel."
I laughed quietly.
"But honest. And you love me for it."
Dimitri shook his head in feigned exasperation but continued smiling.
"How could I not?" he raised my hand again to brush it with his lips, then set our entwined hands down on my lap. We didn't talk anymore, just plunged into that comfortable silence where we both felt safe and secure in each other's presence. Again, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of gratitude that he was next to me through this whole nightmare. I traced his palm with my fingers, as we drove further into the darkness. With him by my side, I felt ready for everything that was about to come.