Title: Finding Ulysses

Author: Peachykin

Rating: YTEEN for now will go ADULT

Pairing: Mi/L

Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell. Unfortunately Katims did and now we're all just cleaning up his mess.

Chapter 5

"Wow," Kyle said, in mild shock at the ease in which Michael had just admitted he was in love with Liz, "Time has really mellowed the perpetual grump, or at least eroded the chip on your shoulder. There's no way you would have admitted that five years ago."

"True." Michael sighed, "Stonewalls crumble over time Kyle, and besides, like you said we've never bullshitted each other before. And Liz is here…somewhat free…" he trailed off, "Shit man, I don't know."

"Just give it time, Michael. From where I was standing the night you left, Liz was on the same page with you. I guess she has been since that night. Think about it; why would she be there if she wasn't feeling something too?"

Michael thought for a moment, his ever-present self doubt creeping in, "Protection?" he offered, "Max is still looking for her…"

"No way, Paul Bunyan." Kyle admonished, "Don't do that."

"Do what?" Michael asked in confusion.

"This whole, 'I'm Not Good Enough For Liz' routine. You are and you always have been. Don't put her on that pedestal like Max did. You're better than that." Kyle argued, "The only thing that's gonna keep you from pursing anything with Liz is your own damn paranoia about Max. Liz left Max for a reason. Even if he did find her, no amount of sunshine and false promises he'd manage to blow up her ass would get her to go back with him. She doesn't want the life Max has planned for them. The fact that she's with you now, should give you some clue."

"Geez, Midget, tell me how you really feel" Michael joked, but knew Kyle spoke the truth, "I mean, don't hold back or anything."

"Well, ya piece a shit," Kyle said exasperated, "I've been holding this in since Liz left. Buddha teaches us to channel our energy and I'm channeling through all that damn hair of yours and into that puny brain."

Michael knew everything Kyle was saying was true. They'd always been straight with each other. It was one of the things Michael missed about his friendship with Kyle the most. But he also knew that only Liz could really bring Kyle's point home.

"So," Michael said changing the subject, "You have to tell me something."

"I'll try Segue Boy" Kyle said chuckling at Michael's lack of subtlety.

Michael scratched his eyebrow, "I understand why you would help Liz leave Max, but Isabel? She's always been fiercely loyal to Max. She had to know how much it would hurt him."

Kyle sighed, "She did, but a lot of things changed over the years. The main reason? Alexis."

"That's why Liz told me she left." Michael whispered, almost to himself.

"You've gotta understand that Liz and Isabel always got along, but were never really close." Kyle explained.

"Well, yeah. Liz always had Maria…" Michael agreed.

"And you." Kyle interrupted, "Even after you left Liz and Isabel didn't really gravitate towards the other. They were both hurting in their own ways over you leaving. Isabel, because she just lost one of her brothers, and Liz, well, that's more complicated isn't it?"

Michael nodded over the phone, letting his silence speak for him. He knew his leaving had hurt Isabel, but hearing about it brought it home. He didn't regret leaving, but he did regret the tears shed over his departure.

Kyle continued, "It wasn't until Isabel got pregnant with Lexi that she and Liz really connect. When Is and I told Max about the baby, he was…"

"Furious." Michael provided, "Liz told me. Heard you got less than Zen-like on his ass."

Kyle chuckled at the memory, "Not one of my prouder moments, but I think even Buddha himself would've decked his royal ass if he'd heard some of the things he'd said."

"Someday you or Liz will have to tell me what he said." Michael said.

"Will do. Maybe after Lexi's graduated from college. I should be over it by then." Kyle said through his teeth, " Anyway, Isabel, and more importantly Max, was more than a little surprised that Liz was her strongest defender. He expected her to stand with him, and she didn't. From that moment on, Liz and Isabel were tight. Liz even delivered Lexi. Thank god, because Max and I were nervous wrecks."

"Wow." Was all Michael could say. It didn't surprise him that Liz had been the one to bring Lexi into the world. She could always keep a cool head in the most chaotic of situations, but the mental picture he had awed him.

"Yeah." Kyle continued, "After that Isabel, Lexi and Liz were inseparable. So, that much time together gave Isabel a whole new perspective on her brother's marriage, Liz's. Is knew things were rocky and it hardly escaped her notice that her sister-in-law had taken on decidedly Michael-like quirks, but it was like the blinders were off. She saw how unhappy Liz was.

"See, the other thing is, that parenthood changes everything. Your perspective on life, yourself, and others around you is totally changed by this one little person. You become more focused, clear, and suddenly what goes on around you, is all about how it affects your child.

"When Max started in on Liz her about having a baby of their own, Liz started shutting down. The only time she'd really come to life was when she was just with Lexi, Is and I. Isabel couldn't ignore that. Liz was withering away inside and Max was trying to use a baby as some sort of magic glue that would hold their relationship together. Not exactly a reason, in anyone's mind to have a baby."

"So what was the last straw, for Isabel?" Michael asked, entranced by Kyle's story, and filled with pride that his sister finally opened her eyes when it came to Max.

Kyle sighed heavily, debating on whether to pass the next bit of information on, knowing it might anger Michael the most, but he needed to know, regardless of whether or not Liz had told him, "Liz came over for breakfast one morning after Lexi's first birthday party…and she had very distinct hand shaped bruises on her upper arms. She finally took herself off autopilot, broke down and told us what happened. Of course it had been Max, trying to get his point across, too roughly."

Michael clenched his jaw at the mental image of Max yanking Liz from the couch and shaking her violently, "I know." He growled, "She told me."

Kyle sighed in relief. He could hear Michael's anger, but was glad that Liz had been able to at least tell him, "So then you know there was no way in hell Liz could stay. Isabel and I knew we'd all miss her, but how could we not help her? Liz was dying right in front of us and Max wanted to have a baby? No amount of sibling loyalty to her brother would have stopped Isabel from helping her."

"I'm just glad she did." Michael said gratefully.

"Me too." Kyle replied, "So, Liz calls us when he settles somewhere and we send her pictures of Lexi. We miss like crazy, but she's better off out there, than here with Max. And I know Is will feel a million times better knowing she's with you."

"And Max?" Michael asked the obligatory question.

"I think we both know Max won't give up. He still believes that they can work things out, because he wants them to. It's a fruitless effort to try and convince him otherwise." Kyle said in an exhausted tone.

Michael knew that was the truth, but surely it would take something, "Not even a divorce?" he asked.

"Guess we won't know until Liz files will we?" Kyle countered.

"She will." Michael said confidently, although unsure at the moment where the certainty came from.

Kyle laughed softly, "Sound pretty sure of that, Michael. You know something we don't?"

"She doesn't love him, Kyle." Michael said, finding his answer. He'd seen it last night, heard it in her voice when she talked about him. All that was left with Max was pain.

"Yeah…. She loves you." Kyle told him bluntly.

Michael coughed reflexively at Kyle's words. It was one thing to entertain the idea of Liz loving him, but to have someone else point it out was another and he suddenly felt uncomfortable, "I…uhh… think I better go, Kyle."

Kyle laughed, "Sure. Run away from love, Guerin…Joyce…whoever."

Michael felt a low growl rise from his throat, " She ran into me."He said without thought.

"Um, yeah Michael, you might want to ponder that one." Kyle returned, "Liz could have cut all her ties to us. She could have made a clean break like Maria…and you, but she didn't. Liz went out into the world to rediscover who she was and somehow ended up on your doorstep. I hardly call that a coincidence."

"Yeah, yeah." Michael rolled his eyes, "Karmic direction. I know."

"Hey, do not mock, my friend." Kyle argued, "The universe has a plan, whether you like it or not. Liz is with you for a reason. Your job is to figure out what it is, and accept it."

Michael growled again, hating to admit that Kyle had once again pegged his situation with an eerie pin point accuracy, "Look, I really should get going, before Liz wakes up and finds out I stole her address book."

Kyle laughed heartily, "What? Old habits die hard?"

"I guess so." Michael joined in Kyle's reverie, and then sighed, "I just wanted you guys to know that Liz and I are okay,"

"Or you will be." Kyle added.

"Don't push it, Hobbit." Michael warned.

"No need to get mean, Jolly Green Giant." Kyle joked, " Just try to call soon okay? I know my wife will want to talk to you, scream at you…whatever. We all miss you. I think even Max does."

"I will." Michael said, easily making the promise as he held Lexi's photo in his hand, "Hey, put Lexi back on the phone."

"Sure." Kyle said setting the phone down and called out to his daughter.

Michael heard the little girl come bounding into the room, roughly picking up the phone, "Whatcha want Unca Grumpy?"

"I…uh… just wanted to say goodbye and tell you to listen to your daddy. He can't help it if he's goofy looking', but he usually knows what he's talking about." Michael told her.

Lexi giggled, "Mommy say dat too."

Michael snickered, 'Well, your mommy always has been a smart lady, but don't go telling' her that. Wouldn't want her to get a big head."

Lexi giggled even harder, "Dat what Daddy say."

Michael held his sides, the little girl's angelic laughter so very contagious. "Maybe you, Mommy and Daddy can come visit me soon."

"And Auntie Liz?" Lexi pressed.

Michael was a little taken aback that she knew about Liz being with him, but then again he was discovering what an exceptional child Alexis James was, "Um… Yeah… Aunt Liz too. Uh… Lex? You might not want to mention me or your Auntie Liz to Uncle Max."

"Oh I know." Lexi said matter-of-factly, "I keep secret."

"Good." Michael breathed, thinking to himself that this little girl would have to get used to keeping more than a few secrets over her lifetime. He just wished she didn't have to do it at such a young age.

"Unca Grumpy? Will you give Auntie Liz a kiss for me?" she asked sweetly.

Michael's eyes widened at Lexi's request and could distinctly hear Kyle laughing heartily in the background, "Uh… sure thing, Lex." He sheepishly answered.

Lexi found her father's laughter contagious, "Daddy's weird." She commented.

"He's always been that way, kiddo." Michael informed her.

"Okay. Bye Unca Grumpy." Lexi sang, "I wuv you."

Michael felt a lump form in his throat, but managed to get some words past it, "Love you too Lexi." His voice cracked with emotion, "Bye."

He hung up the phone, staring down at Lexi's picture, the image blurring with the tears that stung his eyes.

"So how is the little munchkin? Liz asked quietly.

Michael's head shot up, seeing her standing in the kitchen's entryway. Her hair was pulled up loosely in a messy bun and an oversized hockey jersey that ended just above her knee, swallowed her lithe form.

He quickly wiped the tears away trying to pass them off with yawn, "She's… amazing." He said with a proud grin.

His eyes widened as he realized he'd been caught red-handed with Liz's purse and address book, "Uh…damn… Liz I'm sorry… I just wanted them to know…" he stammered.

Liz held her hand up, smiling, "It's okay. I was going to call them this morning anyway and Lexi is pretty hard to resist." She said, gesturing at the photo clutched between Michael's long fingers. She shrugged her shoulders absently, "Besides, I'm sorta used to you stealing my stuff. Journal. Address book… can't really hide anything from you."

Michael gave her a sheepish grin, acknowledging the accuracy of her statement, and then rose off the barstool, "I talked to Kyle. Isabel was at work."

"How'd that go?" Liz asked making her way over to a cupboard in search of a coffee mug.

Michael let her search, knowing if she was going to make her home with him, she'd want to find tings for herself, "Well, once he got Lexi to stop swearing? It went fine. He's still…Kyle."

Liz laughed, knowing Kyle's propensity for swearing in front of his impressionable young daughter. She found the coffee mugs, but groaned and stared up at them forlornly on the second shelf, forgetting she was living with a giant.

Michael smirked at her, the reached up pulling a mug down for her, fixing it the way she liked; cream, no sugar. "I'll move those down. Forgot what it was like living with a little person."

Liz punched his arm playfully, and accepted the coffee. Michael rubbed his arm, disappearing into the living room for a moment, making a b-line for the stereo. He had a little experiment he wanted to try; as a result of something Kyle had told him about his new roomie.

"Since when did you get into hockey?" he called out, finding the cd he needed.

Liz looked down at her morning attire, realizing she'd been caught, "Someone had to pick up the slack after you left or hockey would have fallen by the wayside at the house." She told him, "Besides, it's kinda therapeutic. The body checks, fights and the occasional game breaking out."

Michael chuckled, trying to picture Liz watching a hockey game with same amount of fervor he did. He pressed play on the stereo and walked back into the kitchen to join Liz. He was more than amused to find she'd absently began bobbing her head to the beat of the song, mouthing the words to Metallica cover of Whiskey In The Jar..

"I'll be damned." Michael mumbled under his breath. Kyle was right. But he forgot to mention how sexy it was. Or maybe he was counting it. Impish bastard.

Amused, Michael sat next to Liz arching an eyebrow at her. He watched her mouth another verse to the song, before becoming aware of his scrutiny. She looked up at him, blushing slightly.

"Metallica huh?" He asked, taking another sip from his coffee.

Liz straightened up in her chair, taking on an air of feigned indignance, "Well, I heard them enough when we all lived together. I saw the light. If you can get into Billie Holliday and Miles Davis, I can certainly find the brilliance that is metal. It's called evolving."

"Fair enough." Michael nodded, "And I sure as hell won't complain. Although, some might consider your new taste in music a step down."

Liz shook her head, rolling her eyes, "Yeah, well one can only take so much Moby and Counting Crows before one's head feels it's about to explode."

Michael chuckled, "No argument here." Guessing that when Liz and Max had gotten married, Max had expected her to adopt all things his.

He could sense any talk of Max wouldn't be the best way to start the morning, so he changed the subject, "Did you sleep okay?"

Liz nodded emphatically, "Better than I have since you… um, better than I have in a long time. It's a really comfortable bed and the fan helped."

"Good." Michael said trying to ignore Liz's slip of the tongue. Better than she had since he'd left. Her mention of the fan brought back the imprinted image of the smooth skin of her back and her dark hair spilling everywhere, "Uh…" his voice cracked, "Because the heat can be hard to get used to."

"I barely noticed." She reassured him. It was true.

She'd never felt more at home anywhere and not even the heat of Death Valley could have kept her awake. Not to mention the dreams that danced through her mind that night, which sent an involuntary blush to her cheeks. She decided to avoid telling Michael that when she'd awakened that morning, she felt a great disappointment that the breeze on her back was the electric fan on her dresser and not his breath seducing her.

"I'm not interrupting your morning routine am I?" she asked, needing to get her mind off of anything related to bedrooms and Michael being in them. Too tempting.

Michael shook his head, "Nah. I mean normally I'd be painting, but that hasn't been happening for the last week. Stuck I guess."

"Why?" Liz asked, genuinely curious as to what would cause Michael's creative flowed to be interrupted.

Michael shrugged his shoulders, "Don't know. Uninspired, I think." He sighed, "In any case, Miriam won't be happy."

"Miriam?" Liz asked in confusion, feeling a sudden twinge of jealousy. Sure, Michael had told her they hadn't been anyone in more than five years, but that didn't mean he wasn't seeing someone. Taking things slow. But why wouldn't he have mentioned her?

Michael couldn't help the amused smirk that came over his face at the flicker of jealousy her heard in Liz's voice and flashed in her eyes. Maybe Kyle wasn't so far off the mark. Even if she didn't love him, at the very least she didn't like the idea of him with another woman.

"Miriam, is the gallery owner who sells my paintings for me." He supplied, "She's one of Sweet's 'friends."

"Oh." Liz said, slightly embarrassed, but unable to hide her relief, "But I saw all those paintings in your studio. Don't you have enough for the show?"

"Yeah." Michael agreed, "But the show is in a month and I promised Miriam something different."

"And nothing's coming?" Liz asked.

Michael shook his head, "She won't be epically pissed or anything. She'll take what I have, and they'll sell, but she wants me to… 'expand my horizons'."

Liz sipped her coffee, mulling over what Michael had told her. Michael nearly laughed, Liz ever the problem solver. Liz knew not everything in the world could be fixed, but it never hurt to try.

"Well, it's obvious to me, from those paintings, that you love New Orleans. You paint her as you see her, like a lady. You have, or at least had, a passion for her." She observed.

"Once Sweet taught me how to see her, I just took off." Michael agreed.

Liz set down her mug to face him, "Maybe you just need to find something else that you're passionate about and paint that. What else do you love?"

Michael swallowed his coffee in a hard gulp, "Now that's a loaded question." he thought to himself. Hell, he was staring right at it. But there was no way he could admit that to her. Not yet. Things were too tenuous and Michael hated to admit it but he needed a sure thing, especially if he was going to lay his heart on the line for her.

But there was no reason he couldn't at least test the waters, at least a little. He leaned in a little closer to Liz while she was taking a sip of her coffee, "I'll let you know when I find it." He whispered.

This time Liz swallowed hard and Michael missed how her eyes fluttered closed for a moment when his breath danced across her neck. She turned her head to meet his eyes, intent on breaking the moment of temptation, only to be met with more. How could she keep her promise to try and discover or rediscover who Michael is, was, had become, when all she could see was his face so close, those darkened amber eyes, and those full inviting lips. God, those sinful lips that had awakened her to the possibility of freedom all those years ago, now mere inches from her own.

Hadn't she been waiting for this moment since Michael left?

She had to look back at him. Dammit. She had to stare back up at him with those dark brown eyes that men lose their souls in. Temptation came in a variety of forms, just one never so tempting as the slightly parted lips of Liz, waiting, inviting and mere inches from his own.

Hadn't he been waiting for this since the moment he'd left?

~*~

TBC….