Title: Finding Ulysses
Author: Peachykin
Rating: ADULT
Pairing: Mi/L
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell. Unfortunately Katims did and now we're all just cleaning up his mess.
December 23, New Orleans
Michael watched Liz from his place behind the bar as he fill little cups full of fruit punch and cider. It was Christmastime at Ulysses which meant Sweet dressing up as the jolly old fat man and the kids from various shelters around town were treated to juice cookies and a toy generously donated by the bar's owner. The mothers of the children were treated to an hour's peace, some cider and the knowledge that someone cared that they had a merry Christmas. Hopefully the start of new better life for them and their children.
So while Sweet listened to the various wishes of each little child that sat on his lap, Liz played Santa's helper, complete with a little red dress, trimmed with white faux fur on the hem, collar and sleeves and of course the requisite little red hat.
Miriam nudged Michael as he overfilled another cup, making a mess, his attention firmly focused on the little elf placing a screaming toddler on Sweet's lap, helping him to calm her down. Michael grunted grabbing a towel and cleaning up the mess.
"I know what's gotten into you, Sug." Miriam teased him, "Bet you'd like to spend some time with Santa's helper up there on your lap." Michael smirked, but didn't deny her assessment, "But what I can't figure out is, what's with Liz?"
Michael took another look at his girlfriend. Yes, there as a genuine smile on her face for each child who tugged on her skirt in anticipation, but she was worrying her bottom lip an awful lot and her brow furrowed from time to time. It was no mystery to Michael. She'd been buzzing around the apartment for the past week cleaning and re-cleaning, fluffing pillows, stocking the fridge, organizing their cd collection... and then re-doing it all the next day.
"She nervous about everyone coming for Christmas. She wants it to be as perfect as possible." He told Miriam, "I think all that time spent with my sister during the holidays might have made her a member of Isabel's Christmas Reich."
Mir nodded, "But for who's benefit? Max's?"
Michael shook his head, "No. Actually its more for Lexi. She knows things are going to be tense with Max tagging along. So she's trying to make sure that Lexi doesn't pick up on that and has a good Christmas, despite the tension us adults will be under."
"She does know that kids pick up on everything right?" Miriam chuckled, "I mean you ask any one of these little sprites runnin' around the bar... well... they just know."
Michael nodded, "Liz knows that, but it doesn't stop her from trying. Its in her nature to make sure everyone is happy. But she tends to forget about herself."
"What time do they get here?" Mir asked, detecting the sadness in Michael voice at Liz's perpetual personality flaw. Something that had hurt her so much over time, sacrificing too much of herself.
Michael looked up at the clock, "Bout a half hour, maybe less, depends on traffic. They're taking a cab in. I offered to pick them up but when Liz told Is about this little party we have every year... Well after Liz got my sister to stop crying, she insisted that they not interrupt it and now they're taking a cab."
"You nervous?" Mir asked.
"Let see. Meeting my niece for the first time and seeing my sister and best friend, not to mention my brother, who, by the way, is still married to my girlfriend... after five years..." he held up a slightly shaking hand and gave Miriam a crooked smile, "I'm a rock."
Miriam patted her son's shoulder and they watched Liz come down from her post as one of the waitresses took over. She wrung her hands and bit her lip as she approached the bar. "Did you call the airport?" she asked Michael anxiously.
He nodded, "Yeah. They landed about twenty minutes ago. It'll take some time to get their luggage and then get the cab, with the holiday rush."
"Oh." Liz said unsure of whether to feel more excited or nervous. She smiled graciously when Michael handed her a bottle of water, "I think I need something stronger."
Michael arched an eyebrow at her, "You don't drink, Liz."
"Can't think of a better time to start?" she joked, with a weary sigh. She did a quick scan of the bar and saw everything was in order, nothing to distract her. "I um... I think I'm gonna go up to the apartment and make sure there are enough towels in the bathroom... People always run out of towels... and..."
Michael exchanged a look with Miriam and she nodded her head with a chuckle. Michael tossed her the bar towel and hopped over the bar.
"...And soap...Oh... I hope we have enough soap...Its usually just the two of us... but with Kyle, Isabel and..." Liz rambled, and then abruptly stopped when Michael took her hand dragging her over to the supply closet. They stood in the doorway underneath the mistletoe and Michael leaned down, fusing his mouth over hers.
Liz didn't protest, wrapping her arms around Michael's neck to return the kiss. Only when they heard the giggling of a couple small children did they break apart. Michael growled comically at the kids and gave them a wink as they scampered off.
"That, was to calm you down." he told Liz, seeing the natural effect his kisses had on his girlfriend, her eyes hooded slightly accompanied by the dizziness.
Liz smirked up at him, "Thanks, but I hope you don't use that tactic on every hysterical woman you encounter."
Michael shook his head, "Nope. Only seems to work on human chicks from Roswell."
"Who said it worked?" Liz challenged him her eyes darting suggestively to the convenience the supply closet provided.
"You have always been exhausting." Michael returned, shifting them inside the closet and shutting the door behind him so as not to give any of their guests a lesson in alien mating rituals.
Michael had barely gotten the door shut when her felt Liz spin him around swiftly and her lips were upon his. Wasting no time he lifted Liz off the ground pressing her against the door.
"Looks like I got the naughty elf." Michael mused between hungry kisses, "Dragging the boss man in to the supply closet for a quickie."
Liz giggled, her nerves of minutes earlier quickly fading with Michael's attentions, "I always knew you had a thing for us elves. First it was Snowflake..."
"Correction, Cinnamon," Michael interrupted, recalling the elven name she'd taken on in the year she'd been referring to her, "Santa had a thing for Snowflake. I, however, have a major jones for hyper brunettes in short skirts."
Michael leaned in teasing the corners of Liz's mouth with his tongue while his hand snuck its way underneath the skirt of her dress. He growled in frustration and pulled away from her mouth.
"You know, this whole underwear thing is really getting annoying." he teased.
Liz grinned, "Well I know what I'm not getting for Christmas."
"Nope." Michael breathed wetting her lips with his tongue, "That would be encouraging you to wear them."
"I figured... "Liz returned, panting as he continued his task, touching her over the bothersome silk, "With the young impressionables out there... "
"Damn kids. Always ruining my fun." Michael grumbled comically, hissing as Liz reached between them to stroke him through his jeans, "Ah, I take it you're calmer now?"
Liz nodded with a wicked grin, "Yeah, but its been replaced by..." she was interrupted by a gentle knocking on the closet door.
"Michael? Liz? Hon, you two decent?" they heard Miriam ask from the other side, her voice tingled with withheld snickering.
"Wasn't planning on it, Mir." Michael replied sardonically, as Liz dropped her forehead to his neck and her shoulders shook with her own laughter.
"Well, I hate to do this to ya, but your guests have arrived." she said seriously.
Liz's head shot off Michael's neck and she looked into his eyes with a mild panic. Michael let out a nervous laugh, tipping his head back to look up at the ceiling before returning back to Miriam on the other side of the door.
"So what you're telling me Mir, is that there is no way Liz and I can come out of this closet and not look completely guilty?"
They both heard the older woman chuckle, "That's about the size of it, Sug."
Michael tipped his head downward resting his forehead against Liz's chest, "Thanks Mir." He called out, "Just give us a sec."
"Sure thing, Baby." Mir replied and they heard her footsteps walk away.
"Take them a while, huh?" Liz teased, bringing Michael's head up to meet hers.
"I'm sorry." he chuckled setting down so they could repair any damage that they'd done in the heat of the moment.
Liz shook her head as she smoothed her dress and hair, "Don't worry about it, Michael. You got me to calm down and I'm not ashamed of being with you." she turned around for him, "Now, how do I look?"
Michael smiled. She could have been covered from head to toe in swamp sludge and she would have been beautiful to him with her easy declaration. But he gave her the obligatory once over, finding her even more lovely than when she'd drug them into the closet, her lips slightly swollen with his kisses and her cheeks taking on that distinctive flush that only came from being intimate with him.
"Beautiful." he finally told her, then looked at down at himself, "Passable?"
Liz looked him over then giggled furiously as her eyes reached his slightly tented jeans, "Um, might want to tame the wild man there before hugging Isabel."
Michael growled at her, "For the record this is the only time I'm cursing my makers for blessing me." he stared down at his inconvenient arousal, "Down boy."
When it became apparent the stubborn was a full body emotion for Michael, Liz shook her head, "Maybe I should just stay in front of you when we come out."
Michael nodded, "Good idea...Just don't bend over." he teased.
They exchanged one last, attempted chaste kiss, and Liz turned around opening the door, making sure Michael, or least his lower region was shielded by her body. She unconsciously reached back for his hand, some of her nerves returning as she saw her family again for the first time in over a year.
Michael took one last look at the back of Liz's head as they walked out of the closet, decidedly impish grins on both their faces, and looked upon faces he hadn't seen in five years and an entirely new on only ever seen in photos. A silence hung in the air for a moment, as though no one knew what to do or say in the moment. They all briefly registered the background notice of the children laughing , Sweet "Ho-ho-ho-ing" and the New Orleans jazz take on O Holy Night serenading them on the jukebox.
Michael looked up at Kyle and Isabel who held giant smiles on their faces, Isabel's more innocent than that of her husband's, but Michael had learned a long time ago that Kyle couldn't physically not smirk, his brain was stuck in perpetual pervert. One of the many reason they got along.
His eyes briefly passed over Max, not surprised to see red in his brother's cheeks, he knew from barely restrained rage at seeing his own brother coming out of a closet with his wife. But the fidgeting little sprite clasping Kyle's hand was what held his attention. There she was in the flesh. His niece. The newest and, decidedly most adorable, member of the family, Lexi, not understanding why no one was moving, or hugging, or even speaking.
Michael watched her survey each adults face and shrug her shoulders, her excitement over seeing her auntie and meeting her uncle too strong to be contained and she released herself from Kyle's grip, running full speed at Liz.
Liz quickly forgot her promise to not bend over in front of Michael as she knelt down and scooped her niece up into her arms. The tears that had well in her eyes spilling down her cheeks as the little girl clung to her neck.
Kyle nudged his wife, who'd seemed immobilized for a moment and Isabel snapped out of her trance. There was Michael, after five years. He looked the same as he did...no, he looked happier than he did five years ago. And Liz... gone were the dark circles, hollow cheeks and nearly dead eyes. She was full of life and God, she was smiling and damn near glowing.
Isabel followed her daughter's lead dropping her purse to the floor and walked swiftly into Michael's arms, her tears soaking the fabric of his white shirt. "I missed you, Jerk." she said with a weepy laugh.
Michael couldn't speak he just nodded his head squeezing Isabel against him feeling his sister's love radiate off her in waves. His eyes fell to Kyle who'd dropped the luggage and was embracing Liz, Lexi still wrapped tightly in her arms.
Isabel pulled back following Michael's gaze to Liz and remembered where they'd just seen them emerge from, a giggle escaping her lips. She smacked his chest to get his attention, "I can't leave you alone with any of Santa's's elves can I?"
Michael laughed, "Nope. I think it's the tights."
Isabel looked back at Liz again, furrowing her brow, "Liz isn't wearing any tights."
"Yeah. Not now." Michael joked waggling his eyebrows.
Isabel rolled her eyes, "You are still a pig. You and Kyle won't skip a beat."
"Not Kyle I'm worried about." Michael added, his eyes passing over to Max, who'd been content to stay back, unsure of his feelings or how to greet his wife and brother.
Isabel nodded kissing Michael's cheek before turning to Liz and enveloping the tiny woman in a huge hug, nearly crushing poor Lexi in between them. Kyle backed away quickly and turned his attention to long lost alien friend, first shaking his hand before drawing Michael into a hug.
Kyle jumped back instantly, shaking his head at Michael and chuckling, "Gee Goliath, I mean I know I'm ten kinds of pretty, but...dude, I'm married."
Michael rolled his eyes at Kyle, knowing the joke about his still dwindling arousal from he and Liz's near closet copulation, would be coming and while throughly embarrassed, he reveled in Kyle's ribbing having gone so many years without it.
"So is Liz." Michael and Kyle heard Max mumble, after having made his way towards the reunion.
Michael bit back any comment he might have in return when his eyes fell to the smiling angel in Liz's arms. For her sake, and for his own, he had to be the grown up about this. Be the bigger man and while not excusing Max's behavior, he found himself understanding it. How hurt would he be if Liz walked away from him for Max?
From the moment they'd stepped into the bar, Max had been eagerly searching for Liz, disappointed when she was nowhere to be found. An older redhead approached them and he remembered her from the photo on the website. Miriam Johnston.
She greeted Kyle, Isabel and Lexi with hugs, all having heard so much about the other and brought together by Michael and Liz. She'd shaken Max's hand, giving him a gracious smile, which he returned, but immediately began searching for his wife again. He looked up at what normally was the stage, finding a mini North Pole, complete with a laughing Santa, a nervous tyke on his knee. Max had to admit, Michael always made a pretty decent Santa.
"Michael and Liz are a bit...um...indisposed at the moment." Miriam said, a blush appearing on her pale cheeks, "I'll just, uh..let them know you're here."
Indisposed? Max had wondered. He looked back over at the Santa in the overstuffed armchair and upon closer inspection realized that this Santa was far darker than his brother. It then became all too clear when he watched Miriam walk quickly over to what had to be a closet of some kind and knock on the door gently. He couldn't hear the voices, but it was clear that she was talking to someone in that closet an impish smile consuming her face. Indisposed. Just fucking great.
About a minute later the door opened and Max felt his breath catch, gazing upon his wife after a year and half apart. Jesus she was beautiful, and that smile... His heart sank as Michael followed closely behind her, their hands laced together in unity. The smile had been for Michael.
A rush of red flew to Max's own cheeks when his saw the distinct blush on Liz's, that came only when she'd been...aroused. It had been a long time since he'd seen it, but he never forgot what it looked like and it tore him apart that he couldn't deny Michael had been the one to put that particular rouge there. There was very little doubt as to what his and the James arrival had interrupted.
Max was grateful for the break in pain when he saw Lexi rush towards Liz. God, she looked so right holding a child in her arms and he knew that it had to have been difficult for Liz to have been away from Lexi all that time…
"Maxwell..." he heard, Michael say a little loudly, suggesting it hadn't been the first time he'd called his name. He looked to Michael, really seeing his brother for the first time, and saw his large hand extended in invitation for a handshake.
Max narrowed his eyes at Michael, part of him wanting to embrace his brother after so many years apart and the other part wanting to lay him out where he stood for taking away what Michael must have known meant so much to his brother. Liz. He was caught in indecision and anger and he remained frozen, staring at Michael.
Michael's shoulders sagged a bit, knowing this moment would be awkward and seeing the pure venom Max was aiming in his direction. He knew Max would heap the blame on him for the loss of Liz and his subsequent relationship with her. It was a burden he found easy to bare, if not a little painful one. He took a small step forward keeping his hand out for Max to take and muttered low so only he and his brother could hear.
"Shake now. Deal with the rest later." his eyes flicking over to Liz and Lexi.
Max flinched at Michael's words, finding them holding a little too much truth, but his gaze had followed Michael's to Liz nervously chewing her lip in worry looking over at them and Lexi, who studied the men with a smile absently twirling a lock of her aunt's dark hair around her finger. He brought his hand out of his pocket and gripped Michael's firmly, watching Liz let out an involuntary sigh of relief.
Kyle patted Max's back, "No royal tantrums Maxieboy. 'Tis the season for forgiveness."
Max looked back at Kyle with a glare and Michael narrowed his eyes at his wisecracking friend, "I'm not asking for that either."
Kyle's eyes widened at the tension he'd unwittingly added too and his eyes fell to the doorway Michael and Liz had exited from, "It's..uh...also the season for ...Mistletoe! Yeah mistletoe..Isabel my dear sweet wife...I see mistletoe..."
Before Isabel could object her husband grabbed her hand and dragged her under the mistletoe, worried that leaving Lexi with Liz, Max and Michael was tant amount to dropping her toddler in a minefield. But Liz gave her a weak smile and her resistence faded as Kyle kissed her fiercely.
Lexi rolled her eyes, "Dey always do dat." she scrunched up her nose, "Gross."
Max turned toward Liz and began lifting his arms to embrace her. Lexi, felt Liz grip her tighter, watching her aunt's eyes look nervously over at her Uncle Grumpy's. Lexi felt uneasiness coming off her aunt in waves at the prospect of Uncle Max hugging her. She vaguely remembered feeling that from Liz before she'd left. Thinking quickly she hugged Liz possessively with her little body.
"No Unca Max. Dis my Auntie. Mine. Mine. Mine." she chanted smiling sweetly at her uncle.
Max was more than disappointed, not only at Lexi's sudden possessiveness over her long lost aunt, but at the tentativeness he saw in Liz's stance and eyes. Had things gone so wrong that she couldn't even stand a hug from her husband? Or at the very least, her friend?
"Can we talk later?" Max asked Liz quietly, a pleading in his eyes, "Alone?"
Liz nodded without hesitation. She wasn't scared of Max, only scared of giving him any kind of hope. Michael was right, she could see from the hope that danced in Max's eyes, this, she and Michael, was going to break the man she used to believe so much in.
"Yeah...Later Max. Maybe in our apartment." Liz answered her eyes dancing over to Michael's.
Lexi watched her Uncle Max's shoulders sag in defeat and tears well up in his eyes he blinked away hoping no one could see. This wasn't the reaction Uncle Max had been hoping for with Auntie Liz. The obvious distance she was trying to put between them. The way she would look at Uncle Grumpy.
Lexi felt her aunt relax even more when Uncle Grumpy placed a hand on the small of her back. Lexi had only been a short time on this Earth, but she was already gaining a strange sense of people's emotions, seeing the lights that surrounded them when they were happy, sad or angry.
Even with her young age, or perhaps because of it, things seemed very simple, very clear to her. She loved her Uncle Max, but something about him made Auntie Liz sad. Uncle Grumpy made her happy. Simple. So why was everyone still so tense? And why did they think they could hide it from her? Silly grown-ups.
Liz sensed a need to break the tension and she glanced up at Michael who'd been studying Lexi for a while and it occurred to her, "Hey..." she said shifting Lexi up a bit in her arms, "You and Uncle Grumpy here have never been properly introduced."
Lexi giggled, "Yeah. And we never met before."
Liz smiled and cleared her throat, "Alexis Michaela James, meet Uncle Michael...Uncle Grumpy."
Lexi sat back in her aunt's arms. She'd been dying for this moment since her mommy had told her they were going to New Orleans for Christmas. She crossed her arms and furrowed her brow at the large man, imitating her favorite photo of him, the one she kept on the cork board in her room. It was of Michael sitting on a couch arms folded and brow furrowed, but a slight smirk teased the corner of his mouth.
Michael was a little bewildered with his niece's actions, but decided to play along, imitating her stance and doing his best not to laugh at her little face trying to hold a scowl. She turned to Liz and whispered in her ear, and she set her down a moment later. Lexi walked up to her uncle arms still folded and craned her neck up to see him, not at all intimidated by his towering form.
"You a giant, Grumpy." she finally said.
Michael knelt down to Lexi's level unfolding his arms, but keeping his scowl on for effect, "Better?" he asked.
Lexi nodded, unfolding her arms, reaching out to smooth out her uncle's furrowed brow with her tiny hands and pushed up one corner of his mouth into a crooked smile, "Better." she said standing back with satisfaction.
She stepped forward wrapping her arms around his neck, her little hands getting tangled in his long hair and the smooth baby skin of her cheek pressed against his freshly shaven one, "My Unca. Mine. Mine. Mine." she whispered, softly, staking her claim.
If Lexi hadn't completely owned his heart before, Michael was sure she'd stolen it in that moment. And were he not already on his knees he might have fallen to them at her unwavering trust and love for a man she only knew through photos and brief phone conversations. He brought his own arms around the little girl lifting her off of the ground so he could hold onto her. Initially he was afraid that, because she was so tiny, he might squeeze her too hard, but with the tight hold she had around his neck, he was more in danger of suffocating than she ever was.
Michael had held children before, he was no stranger to their near weightlessness in his strong arms, but for some reason holding this child, someone who shared a part of who he was, shook him. She smelled so clean and pure, like he was holding the personification of innocence in his arms. The way Lexi clung to him, was if she knew this was a feeling her uncle never got to experience.
Michael had never known this age or what it felt like as a child, to be safe. He didn't have the baby shampoo and soft touches. He'd burst into the world as a six-year-old, naked and scared. And then he was shoved into a world of alcohol, smoke, and endless pain, both emotional and physical. It was as if Lexi knew her uncle needed her love, her innocence, just a little more than anyone else.
Tears touched Liz's and Isabel's eyes, who'd managed to get Kyle away from the dangerous mistletoe to watch the meeting of Lexi and her other uncle take place, and the seemingly instantaneous bond that formed between them. Isabel was already dreading the end of the trip when she'd have to tear Michael and Lexi apart.
Lexi pulled back from her uncle to look at his face and quickly wiped a tear from his cheek she sensed he wouldn't want anyone to see. Her eyes fell to the stage and the mini wonderland that had been created there.
"How you get Santa to come here, Grumpy?" she asked him.
Michael smiled and turned them around to get a better look at Sweet posing for a picture with one of the children, "Well your dad told me how piss..." he heard both Isabel and Liz clear their throats, "Uh... peeved... you were when you found out we don't get snow here so I called in a few favors and got the fat man to come here. You wanna go over there?"
Lexi nodded emphatically but then looked back at Isabel and Kyle for approval, "Yeah go on, munchkin." Kyle waved at her.
Lexi smiled wide at Michael and patted his shoulder, "Come on, Grumpy. I got long list."
~*~
Two hours later the kids and their mothers from the shelter left, and with the extra help clean-up was minimal. So, Michael and Liz took their guests up to their apartment along with Sweet and Miriam. Isabel marveled at the spacious living are, absolutely in love with the old world charm Michael had managed to keep in it. It was a decorators dream come true.
She was a little disappointed at what she was as wasted space in the master bedroom that was serving as Michael's studio. She took Liz aside for a little shop talk.
"You know he'd turn this into a bedroom if you asked him too Liz. I mean it could be romantic, and sexy..."
Liz shook her head, "I appreciate the thought Isabel, but I like it the way it is. I get to write in my journal while Michael's painting. And besides, the lighting just wouldn't be right in any other room."
"But you could still write in your journal out there and he could paint in the other room, it wouldn't be so different." Isabel argued half-heartedly.
"I love knowing he's there Isabel." Liz countered. "I love the paint splotches on the floor and the smell of oils mixed with turpentine. I love hearing paint tubes drop on that table and his bare feet shuffle on the wood when he moves around each piece. I can't imagine not hearing that. It wouldn't be us."
Isabel sighed heavily, the picture she'd created in her mind of a bedroom right out of Gone With the Wind fading with every word Liz spoke about the charm and infinite romance the room held for she and Michael. They didn't need silk drapes and overstuffed chais lounges, matching pillows or four poster beds. She was beginning to agree that indeed her vision would not have held true to who Michael and Liz were. Bare, stripped, with nothing to hide. Simple.
Michael, with Lexi firmly glued into his arms, she already beyond smitten with her shaggy haired uncle, took Kyle and Max around the apartment telling them about the floor he'd sanded and refinished with his own labor and sweat and the cabinets in the kitchen that he and Liz had stripped and refinished together. It was evident that even before Liz had arrived in New Orleans that a lot of Michael soul had gone into his home. Now their home.
They dropped Isabel, Kyle and Lexi's bags in Michael's old room where'd they'd be staying and he took them into the room that he and Liz shared. Max could hear the steady rhythm of Michael's voice telling Kyle how he did have to use a little alien magic to extend and deepen their closet when he moved into the room, but Max's attention focused on the bed.
It took up a great deal of the room, it being California king. Michael was far too tall for the regular beds and told Max when they were teenagers one of the first things he'd buy, when he got any kind of money, was a nice big bed that wouldn't give him muscles cramps from trying to fit on it.
The bed was neatly made, simple, not a dust ruffle in sight, a deal breaker when Michael agreed to move into the room with Liz. He was not a believer in anything frilly and he knew Liz didn't need that. Max lost himself in the stitching of the old quilt, one of Grandma Claudia's that Liz had inherited after her death, at the foot of the bed. That very quilt used to reside at the end of the bed he used to share with Liz. He'd never told Isabel, that the missing quilt was his final clue that Liz had left him and hadn't been taken. And now there it was, lying comfortably on the bed that Liz, his wife, shared with Michael, his brother. It was too much.
Max let out a slight cough to cover the sob that escaped his throat and excused himself to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Kyle, Sweet and Michael all exchanged a knowing glance. This was going to be harder for Max than either Kyle or Michael had bargained for. Sweet followed Max out of the room to check on the disheartened man, finding him standing in the living room staring at Michael's Dangerous painting.
"Little overwhelmin'?" Sweet asked him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Max nodded. He'd initially been wary of both Sweet and Miriam, uncomfortable with the fact that more people had been pulled into their alien web and moreover they were people he didn't know. But even as bitter as he was with Michael, the fact that his brother had let these people not only into his life , but his heart and trusted them with both, gave Max a strong sense of comfort. That and in the short span of time he'd spent around him, Sweet had managed to work his considerable charm on the distraught young man.
"Don't imagine this is easy for you. Seein' your wife in love with another man." Sweet said, still staring ahead at the painting with Max.
"Kinda hard to miss that Michael is in love with her. It's everywhere." Max gestured at the painting. "It's suffocating."
Sweet's heart pinched a bit. Max still hadn't acknowledged seeing the love that Liz held for Michael. He'd heard this boy was stubborn and single minded when it came to his wife, but Sweet was sure Max had to see what was so clear to everyone else. Even the little girl, Lexi, had sensed it. But there Max stood, trying to keep his toehold in Liz's life.
"Why don't you get your bag, Max." Sweet said deciding that the place and moment were wrong for any words of wisdom he might have to provide the shattering young man.
Max took his eyes away from the painting, finally looking over at Sweet, "I don't understand... I thought..."
"You really want to stay in the same apartment where your wife is in bed with your brother, while you're sleeping on the couch underneath that painting?" Sweet asked him matter-of-factly, "You said it yourself... its suffocatin' and from they way I see it you're barely hangin' on by a thread here."
"You don't know a thi..." Max began to protest, "Did Michael ask you to put me up?"
Sweet shook his head, "No. Liz did. And even if she hadn't I would have volunteered. There's way too much tension for you to be in stayin' in their home and with your niece around..."
"But I need a chance to talk to Liz..." Max argued trying to disguise his desperation.
"And you'll get it, Boy. She's not avoidin' you..."
"She's doing a fair impression of it." Max interrupted.
Sweet shook his head, "And I thought there wasn't anyone alive more stubborn than Michael." He held Max's hard eyes with his gentle ones, "You keep pushin' like you are Max, and this is only gonna end badly."
"I don't want it to end at all." Max fired back in a forced whisper, "No one seems to get that!"
Sweet saw the pain that resided in Max's heart bared in his eyes. This boy stood in the way of his son's happiness and yet he found himself wanting to hug the stuffing out this poor man, who loved so deeply if not misguidedly. It was clear to anyone that saw Max that he was still in love with Liz, no one would deny him that.
But it was also clear he was clinging to whatever love Liz had left for him and in doing so, was letting himself waste away in agony at every rejection or new facet of her life that didn't include him. He'd been so singularly focused that he was neglecting himself physically and emotionally, pinning his entire world's happiness on retrieving Liz's love, only to watch it crumble around him. Max had to let go, but he just wasn't ready.
"Look," Sweet offered, his voice sympathetic, "Just give it another day. Y'all are her til after New Years. Let them enjoy the reunion... even if you can't."
Max gritted his teeth, "If Michael and Liz hadn't left in the fir..." he trailed off, but the kind wisdom of this old man soothed him, "Yeah...a day... Waited this long haven't I?"
"That's the spirit." Sweet chuckled, patting the young man's shoulder.
~*~
While there was still an uneasy tension in the air with the triangle of Liz, Michael and Max, things had managed to calm down as the day turned into evening. The time had been spent catching up on the years missed and the present. Lexi alternated between Liz and Michael's laps reveling in the closeness and love she'd missed out on from either of them in their absence.
Liz and Michael had made a conscious effort, on Max's behalf, to not be too overt with their affection for one another, but they weren't inclined to hide it either. He needed to see that their relationship was real, alive, not some fleeting fling that would run its course. They'd been careful not to discuss the ins and outs of their new relationship knowing the heartache and tension it would cause him. They stuck to Michael's art, the bar and Liz's classes.
Max had been content to sit back and watch the revelry, elated, on some level to see his family back together and coming to really love the new editions that were Sweet and Miriam. Sweet had regaled them with stories about Michael, how they'd met the times before Liz came into the picture and even some things Liz hadn't heard about yet.
Max watched the interaction between Michael and Sweet, seeing the paternal nature to their relationship. The awe and sense of respect Michael had for the man, not something Michael doled out to anyone, let alone an older man. Michael had always respected Jim Valenti, but Max swore he never saw the easy adoration Michael seemed to hold for Sweet. The love. It made Max miss his own father all the more, though he was genuinely happy that Michael had finally filled that piece of his heart that had always been missing.
When the day's excitements finally caught up with her, Lexi fell asleep, her head resting comfortably in Liz's lap and her legs draped over Michael's. She'd threaded her little finger through Michael's while Liz absently stoked her hair, and the volume of their conversation lowered, as if on instinct.
About forty minutes later the reunited friends decided to turn in. Miriam and Sweet had offered to show Isabel and Kyle their city the next morning, and Michael and Liz offered to babysit Lexi.
While Liz was escorting Sweet, Miriam and Max out, he stopped her briefly, "Liz...can we talk tomorrow? I know you guys will have Lexi, but..."
Liz nodded, "Tomorrow." a small smile touched her lips, "She'll probably monopolize all of Michael's time anyway."
Max smiled looking back at the tyke curled up on Michael's lap fast asleep. Kyle tried to pick his daughter up to take her to bed and she clutched Michael's shirt tightly furrowing her brow, "No Daddy. I sleep with, Grumpy."
Isabel opened her mouth to tell Lexi no, but Michael waved his hand at his sister, "She can sleep with us tonight, Is. Its okay."
Kyle arched an eyebrow over at Liz, "You sure...I mean how grouchy is Shaggy here if he doesn't get his nightly..." But he was stopped with a hard nudge from his wife, when a pained expression consumed Max's face.
Liz chuckled lightly at Kyle, "Its not him you have to worry about."
She looked back at Max and saw the same expression Isabel had. She hated that she'd put it there, but she wasn't going to hide the fact that she shared a bed with Michael. It would easy to avoid touchy subjects for sake of Max's fragile ego, but the sooner he accepted that this was way things were, the sooner he could move on with his own life.
Michael rose off the couch with Lexi in his arms and Isabel came out of their room with a set of pyjamas to put her in. He looked over at Liz nodding his head towards the bedroom, and she nodded back, letting him know she'd be right behind him.
"I'll see you in the morning then?" Max asked, doing his best to mask his discomfort. When Liz nodded, he acted boldly placing his hand over hers resting on the door handle and caressed the back of it with his thumb, "You really do look great Liz. I mean... beautiful."
Liz didn't jerk her hand away, but rather pulled it away gently and met the man's eyes who once seemed to hold her soul, with her own, "Thanks Max... and I wish I could say the same for you. I mean you look so... lost."
"You have that effect on me." Max told her bluntly. "I miss you... so much."
"Max... Please... don't..." Liz protested down casting her eyes. The hope she still saw floating in his was too much for her heart. He never could make things easy.
"I know...tomorrow... sorry... I just..." Max stammered as he shuffled out the door.
"Goodnight Max" Liz said shutting the door quietly.
Max descended the stair of the apartment and down to Miriam and Sweet's car where the couple gave him concerned looks. Max shook his head in answer letting them know he wasn't comfortable talking about the myriad of emotions coursing through his heart at the moment.
"I think its time for Linsey." Sweet whispered to his wife. Miriam's eyes watered and she kissed her husband's cheek with a nod.
~*~
When Max had settled into his room at Johnston home, he slipped into the kitchen for a glass of orange juice, and found Sweet seated on a stool with a hot mug of tea. He wordlessly retrieved a glass for Max. Once he had his juice Max took a seat next to the old man.
"Miriam in bed?" he asked starting out the conversation he felt coming from the moment they'd stepped into the house.
"Yeah. She's an early riser." Sweet chuckled, "And me bein' an ol' night owl... Not sure what the Lord was thinkin' puttin' us together. But I sure am glad he did."
Max smiled, finding Sweet's grin contagious, "Thanks again for letting me stay here...I coulda just got myself a hotel room..."
"Nonsense." Sweet admonished him, "You're Michael and Liz's family. Means your family to me."
"You really love Michael don't you?" Max asked him, upon Sweet's nod he continued, "Well, I'm glad he found you. He...uh...didn't have many good father figures growing up."
"Yeah I know." Sweet said, "Kinda hard to get that paternal feelin' for a boy that's your age."
Max's eyes widened. "I didn't..."
"Sure ya did, Max. And no one is blaming you. It just wasn't your role to fill." Sweet said matter-of-factly.
"I'm beginning to wonder if I have a role to play at all anymore." Max confessed, "Even Liz told me tonight that I look...lost. And I am. I mean how do you go on with half your heart gone?"
"Ya let go." Sweet answered simply.
Max stared down at his juice watching the frothy bubbles pop one by one, "I'm not ready to do that."
"You need to be. Holdin' on is only draggin' yourself down, boy, and from where I'm sittin' you ain't got much further to go before you hit bottom."
Max sighed heavily, "I've loved Liz since I can remember, Sweet. And when she accepted my life, who I was...became my wife... God, I was never happier...and knowing she was there..it made the tough times that much easier... I can't stop loving her... and I refuse to believe she's stopped loving me. You don't share what we had and... It just doesn't stop."
"First of all Max... No one has asked you to stop lovin' Liz. That'd be like askin' the moon to stop rising or the Earth to stop turnin'. And second, Liz hasn't stopped lovin' you..."
"I knew it!" Max said excitedly, but Sweet put up a hand.
"Listen up. I said she hasn't stopped, but she has changed that love for you. Just like she did for Michael. We all do that."
Max's brow furrowed, "Says the man who's been married...what..five times?"
"You know, just because I've been married a few times, doesn't mean I don't know how to love deeply young man." Sweet said a little agitated, "And the truth is I would have stopped at two... ah never mind..."
He moved to get up when Max rested his hand on the old man's arm, "No...Look Sweet I'm sorry... I just assumed...Please...sit...Two huh? She was The One?"
Sweet nodded, "Thought so. I mean... now that I have Miriam... I think she's my second chance, but with Linsey... She was so beautiful...and funny... Wasn't a room she walked into that didn't just light up for her." He chuckled a bit, "Liz looks a lot like her. Dark brown hair, brown eyes, slender, a smile that grabbed you right at your heart and didn't let go...but Linsey, she was tall...nearly an Amazon...least compared to me...Lord, I thought I had it right with her. Shoulda known angels don't get to stay on Earth for long."
Max heard the sorrow in Sweet's voice, "I'm uh...sorry... how did she um...die?"
"Childbirth." Sweet answered, taking a sip from his tea.
Max was confused, "Childbirth? I'm sorry, but didn't Michael tell Isabel that you couldn't have children."
"Couldn't and still can't. Sterile." Sweet answered, "Wasn't my baby."
"Oh..." Max said a little dumbfounded, "That must've been hard to take."
"Not really." Sweet shrugged his shoulders, sitting back in the chair a bit to get comfortable, "See, Linsey was dating my best friend at the time. Charlie. Good enough guy, but a wild one. Never could be tied down by trivial things like a girlfriend with a baby. So, when Linsey told him she was expectin', well the son of a bitch took off. Signed up with the merchant marines and set sail two days later. Coulda killed him myself if he hadn't left..."
"So, how did you end up marrying her?" Max asked, genuinely curious.
"At the time? I just felt it was the right thing to do. Back in those days it was much worse to pregnant and unmarried, than it is nowadays...and with a mixed baby to boot. Linsey and I were friends and after what Charlie did to her, she wasn't interested in marryin' for love. So she accepted my proposal and all the prejudice that came with being a white girl married to a black man in the sixties...in the south."
"So you weren't even in love when you got married?" Max asked, a bit stunned.
"Oh I was smitten, but no... the love came later." Sweet said his voice catching a bit at the memories his story was evoking. "Something about watching a life growing inside someone... in her... Didn't matter that the baby wasn't mine, became mine every second her belly grew. We talked about names, got through the morning sickness and the cravings. The first kick..." Sweet chuckled, "That was the first time she kissed me too. Really kissed me. I'd just come home from work and I would always put my hand on her belly greeting her and the child and boom...just kicked. Linsey was so excited she kissed me. It started out as kiss of celebration, but when she pulled back, we just knew... magic."
Max grinned, "Yeah... felt the same way with Liz... we just had this magic..."
"Had, bein' the key word there son... do ya still feel it, from her?" Sweet asked taking a momentary detour from his story.
Max downcast his eyes once again and cleared his throat, "So...um...after that kiss things were good with you and Linsey huh?"
Sweet nodded, moving on. He knew he'd hit a sore spot with Max. "Yeah. Fell in love with my best friend, go figure. Wasn't always easy though. I mean Linsey was a pistol...and those hormones, Lord, there were days I was lucky to come out alive." He laughed heartily, "Like the time I hid her favorite pair of platform sandals. She was about five months along by that point and it wasn't a good thing for her to be on heels, but she argued with me about it. She didn't see why she had to sacrifice fashion for practicality. So I hid them. Then had to hide myself.
"I tried to tell that even if not for her own safety, those shoes made us stick out even more than we did. She was a tall girl as I said, but with those shoes...made me look like a damn dwarf. A mixed race couple expectin' a baby walking down Bourbon St. was enough of an attention getter, believe me."
"She was character, huh?" Max asked sharing in Sweet's laughter.
"The best of 'em." Sweet answered, "Now back in those days they still had separate hospitals for whites and blacks. We knew when the time came for the baby to be born, I wouldn't be able to go into the hospital with her and while the black hospital would take her it was about a hundred miles away. Not exactly convenient. So we contacted a midwife...weren't too many of those around either, so we couldn't really afford to be choosey. We'd have the baby at home."
"But something went wrong didn't it?" Max asked tentatively, sensing the pain of what happened to Linsey was something that never waned for Sweet.
"Horribly." Sweet answered with a shaky breath, "Baby was breech... and Linsey, well she was bleeder, add to that high blood pressure with the stress she was under when things got scary... And that midwife... she had no idea how to handle the problems she was faced with. Found out later she'd never actually delivered a baby before. We were her first...and last She kept telling us she could handle it... all we had to do was relax... But God there was so much blood...and Linsey, she was strong... but she was in so much pain... I knew I had to get her to a hospital."
"Did you?" Max asked enthralled.
"Yeah." Sweet said, the tears in his eyes already beginning to spill onto his cheeks, "Took her to the white hospital five miles away. Of course they wouldn't let me come in...be with her... but a nurse there...she was mighty kind...told me to wait outside, she'd let me know... but I knew it was bad. Linsey was unconscious when I brought her in."
Sweet wiped his eyes and took a sip of tea, in an attempt to collect himself, "I paced out there for what must have been hours. Frantic out of my mind. Finally I just got down on my knees and prayed. That's when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was that kind nurse... I knew when I looked up at her, she was cryin'... Linsey had bled out...she was gone. Didn't even get to say goodbye."
Max swallowed the lump in his throat at the old man's pain, "What about the baby? Couldn't they save it?"
"No." Sweet answered, his sorrow so raw, "Oxygen starved. Never had a chance."
"I'm sorry." Max said wiping away a tear, finally for someone's pain other than his own and knowing something about losing a child, even though his own son was alive and well...hopefully happy.
Sweet nodded, "I was pretty much a useless soul at that point. I'd just lost my reason's for bein'. The love of my wife and child. And I walked around for a year after that...dead...Cursin' out God, askin' him why he didn't just take me along with him for all the good I was doin'. Didn't see why there was any good in me stickin' round and I asked him to take me, but he wouldn't."
"So what happened? I mean you seem okay today?" Max asked. "And no offense, but what does your wife's death have to do with my…"
"I let go." Sweet interrupted. "I took a look at myself and figured that for whatever reason the Lord saw fit to keep me around and I had to stop followin, Linsey and our child into the grave. I loved Linsey, but I had to let her go if I was ever gonna be useful to anyone ever again. And I did. I let go and moved on. If I hadn't I wouldn't be sitting with you here now.
"Sure I made mistakes. Who doesn't? But all of that led me to here. To Miriam. To Michael. To Liz. All of that... happiness, because I let go. And you have to do the same. Liz may not be dead, but your marriage is and accordin' to her it has been for a long time. You said it yourself, you're lost. Best thing you can do, for her, and mostly for yourself Max, is...Just. Let. Go."
Max clenched his jaw, as though feeling his grip on the life he wanted back, slipping through his teeth. "I've don't know any other way. Liz is my happiness, Sweet. I'm too scared to just let that go."
Sweet sighed heavily and got up off the stool placing his empty cup in the sink, "Then I don't know what else to tell you Max. Liz has moved on with her life and you're just standin' still while the whole world goes on around you. You may have been a king, Boy, but even there the world didn't stop for you and this one won't either."
Sweet made his way out of the kitchen content to let Max ruminate about his life and the story he'd relayed, hoping in some way it had made its way past the denial, pain, and anger and struck a chord of truth.
"Wait..." Max called out softly, and Sweet turned around, "Um... do you...uh, know what it was. The baby. Was it a boy or a girl?"
"A boy. A son." Sweet answered, his voice cracking.
"A son... " Max said wistfully, remembering the brief time he'd had with his own. "You said, you and Linsey talked about names... What..."
"Michael." Sweet said with a smile, "His name was Michael."
~*~
TBC…