Alicia already saw through the glass panes so, really, it shouldn't hurt the way it did.

She already heard how some of the waiters and maids egged them on to dance. She already heard him protest half-heartedly, and she already watched him cave in to the encouragement.

In many ways, they were perfect for one another. In fact, they were as perfect as she and Julio were impossible.

So, really, it shouldn't hurt the way it did.

After all, she was married to Diego and Julio was free to be with someone else. He deserved to be with someone who was free to be with him.

Isabel said something she didn't quite hear, but it must have been nice because he gave a lopsided, cheeky smile. Maybe it was the window glaze or her imagination playing up or her heart playing cruel tricks on her, but she thought that the smile didn't quite reach his eyes and softened his gaze the way it did when he was with her.

It made her heart give a tight squeeze, like there was a weight sitting on top of her chest. She had to look away, even if the image was already burned in her mind.

She wasn't blind. They looked good together—Julio and Isabel.

While she and Julio will forever be out of reach for each other, Isabel could give him something she never could: a futuro[1].

He deserved someone who could give him more than a few stolen glances or the passing, fleeting touches. She should know better than to give him false hope, than to give herself false hope.

After everything that had happened to Cristina and with everything he's doing for Andrés, he deserved someone kind, someone uncomplicated, someone good, someone who brings out the best in him, someone who could give him something real. In all the things that mattered, Isabel could give Julio everything she couldn't.

So long as she was married to Diego, so long the ring on her finger felt like more a noose around her neck, they could never be together, they could never be free to be together… but at the same time she also knew, in some part of her heart that she tried to bury and deny for the longest time, that as long as Julio walked this earth, she would never be happy with someone else.

There was nothing she wanted more than to walk away. No one saw her, after all, and it honestly felt like intruding. Like she was an outsider trying to push herself in a situation she didn't belong to.

It would have been easy to turn the other way and leave.

If she were more selfless, she would have left to let Julio move on with Isabel in a way he could be happy. If she were kind, she would have written a note, telling Julio what she found out and start to break things off gently because it's what they deserve from each other. If she were a good person, she would tell him that there could never be anything more between them and mean it.

But the mere thought of losing him was more than enough to send her into a panic—she didn't know she could need a person as much as she needed Julio. He was the air she needed in her lungs, the blood that coursed in her veins, the calm respite in a stormy sea, and the only man who made her feel alive when everything around her just served to take the life and happiness in her.

She's selfish, she knew that, because she can't let him go. She stared from the other side of the glass, watching them sway to the music in a way she knew they never could.

Julio deserved to dance with someone.

And because she was selfish, she wished that she was the one dancing with him, that she was the one he swayed slowly with to the sound of the music, that she was the one he held close, that her hand in his, their eyes closed as if it was only a moment for the—

"Señorita Alicia. Is there anything you need, ma'am?"

One of the waiters, Luis, spotted her as she stood almost aimlessly in the service corridor. He came from the service stairs, pushing an empty cart from room service. Thankfully, he didn't seem to suspect anything.

"No, gracias, Luis,"[2] she smiled, though she knew, if she looked in a mirror, that it would not reach her eyes. "I'm just looking for Julio, I have some instructions for him about the dinner service."

"I think he's on his break, Señorita Alicia. But if you go to the servants' hall—ah, here's there right now with Isabel."

She looked through the glass again. They were still dancing. Julio and Isabel. She forced herself to keep the pleasant smile on her face as if she didn't feel like crumbling inside.

"Si eso es todo, señora,"[3] Luis said, looking eager to finish his duties so that he could finally take his break.

She nodded, thankful for the reprieve. "Si, claro[4], Luis. Thank you, again."

Luis took off towards the kitchens and just like that, she was left alone once more.

Alicia took a deep breath and hoped that she was a good enough liar to muster enough composure to show the staff—to show Julio—that she didn't just see something that broke her heart into a million irreparable pieces.

"Señorita Alicia!"

Alicia kept a brave face. It was one thing to pretend in front of Luis or Isabel or Don Ernesto's friend, or even Andrés, but it was a different matter altogether when it was Julio. She hoped, at least in front of him, she wouldn't look the way she felt.

"Don't worry. It's your time off. I came to have a brief word with Espinosa."

She gave Julio a knowing glance and he followed her out of the servants' hall.

Let him be happy, she thought to herself, let him be happy with her even if it breaks you little by little inside.

"Don Ernesto's friend insisted that we dance."

Julio gave her this look, this apologetic look with a soft tenderness in his eyes and she felt her resolve fall apart even more.

He deserves to be happy even if you aren't.

Maybe one day, she'd tell him to go ask Isabel out. Maybe one day, they could become friends and they'll be happy with their own separate lives. But today wasn't that day. Not yet, and if the way her heart ached at the sight of him, it won't be for a long time.

Right now, he was free to dance with anyone he wished.

He shouldn't have to apologize for that.

"You don't owe me an explanation."

But in a perfect world, he owed her a dance. And in that perfect world, they would have danced.

Translation footnotes:
1A future
2No, thank you
3If that's all, ma'am
4Yes, of course