"Crap!" She felt the hot coffee slipping off her hand and painting the snow in brown. "Damn it!" She wasn't going to cry over spilled coffee so she just kept walking. It had been a week since Christmas and she was in desperate need of a day off. For a society that was immersed in technology, they had sold a lot of books, lucky her.

She took a brief moment to enjoy the warmth of the shop, before starting her workday. She needed a new coat, hers wasn't cutting it anymore. The bell above the door rang and when she looked up, she felt a sense of Deja vu. There he was. Elliot. She'd like to say she didn't think about him in the last weeks, but then she'd been lying.

"Hey, Olivia Benson" he gave her a smile.

"Elliot, glad to see you here. Did your mother enjoy her books?" She said trying to maintain a straight face.

"Ha! She loved it, I'm pretty sure her backyard will turn into a secret garden in the next months" he came closer to where she was standing.

"And what brings you by?" She tried to suppress her curiosity, piling the books on the shelf.

"Just wanted to see if I liked any books here" he ran his fingers in the back of the books in the shelf before them.

"Really?" She raised a brow at him "And what kinds of book do you like to read?" She asked mischievously.

"Ah…hmmm… you know… like with words in it" he finished resisting the urge to smack his forehead. She laughed at his response "Guess you caught me" he said sheepishly.

"With words in it kinda gave you way" she said, still having fun at his expense.

"For full disclosure: I just wanted to see you again" now was her turn to get flushed.

"Good to know" she gave him a bright smile "But you do know I have to work, right?"

"Of course, of course" he said "So… what book do you suggest?" He asked.

"Well, if you are looking for the classics, you could read Count of Monte Cristo, if you are more into romantics, maybe Pride and Prejudice" she pointed at the said books.

The bell above the door rang again, and she turned around to see a woman entering the store. She was alone today so she looked at him ready to apologize, but he was faster.

"Go, go. I'll be right here" he said.

Turns out the lady had to be the most indecisive person on earth, it took her almost an hour for her to say thank you, and that she would come back in another day because she wasn't sure. She couldn't help but let out a groan when the door finally closed.

"Hope it isn't always like that" she jumped in surprise, completely forgetting she had company.

"Sorry, forgot you were there" she said, moving in his direction. "It's not always this way, but from time to time some people come in here and just can't seem to decide, in the end is just a loss of time"

"That rough" she nodded.

"But what can I do, right? I need this job" she said.

"Ok, so I'm taking both the books you said" he pulled the books from the shelves giving it to her.

"Oh, you don't need to do that, I know you didn't really plan on buying anything" she said to him.

"Oh, no, I insist. It appears my knowledge of books is lacking" he smiled at her.

"Ok then, follow me" she turned to the counter.

"So…I was thinking if you would like to go out sometime. Dinner maybe?" He looked hopeful.

"Oh…" she really wanted to, but how could she explain to him how her time was divided between all the activities she had.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were interested, did I get this wrong?" He looked embarrassed.

"No! You didn't" she quickly reassured him "I'd love to go out sometime, but I have classes at night. And after I leave here I volunteer at the women's shelter."

"We could have lunch on a weekend, I know just the place" he suggested then. It worked just fine since it was Friday. She gave him a small laughter.

"Are you afraid I'm going to change my mind?" She also realized that Saturday was the next day.

"Just taking advantage of my timing" he winked at her.

"Well, I actually can do lunch tomorrow" she smiled brightly at him, feeling her cheeks growing slightly warm what the fuck is wrong with her.

"It's a date" she finished his purchase, and wrote her number on a post it "Tell me where to pick you up" his phrase made her sober a little, thinking of him stopping by the apartment.

"It's ok, text me the address, I can meet you there" he wanted to pick her up, but sensing her discomfort, chose to accept her proposal.

Turns out she thought just right, since she received a call just as she was leaving her last class. Long aquantinced with Joe, the barman from her mother's favorite bar, he took less than a minute to tell her to go get Serena's drunk ass from his bar since her mom was apparently incapacitated to the point of not being able to get herself home. Taking the subway she was able to get to the bar in less than 20 minutes.

The bar was dark and the smell of stale alcohol was almost unbearable. She saw her mother in a booth near the end of the bar, her head resting on her hands on the table, literally sleeping her drunkenness away. Joe nodded in her direction acknowledging her entrance, but didn't really say anything else.

She made her way to her mother, shaking her lightly "Mom, time to go home" Serena grunted at her "Seriously, you need to help me here"

Her mother looked at her through heavy lids and started getting up, visibly unsteady. Once outside, Olivia was able to get them into a cab. Her mother seemed to come out of her coma, choosing to spat at her instead.

"I was completely fine, Olivia. It is still early, I still had a couple more hours to enjoy" she said.

"You were literally passed out, mom, you've had enough" Serena silenced after that, but Olivia could see her knuckles turning white with the force she was making. She knew her mom would be mad at having her night cutted shorter. But she was so tired after the long week, she honestly didn't care.

"You have no right to treat me that way" Arriving home, Serena was quick to pick up the fight.

"I'm not having this argument again. Where is Rob? Shouldn't he be the one picking you up bar booths?" She said boldly.

"Your little bastard, Rob is out of town, and you should watch your tone!" Serena was clearly losing control, so Olivia made the decision to leave the argument and catch a few precious hours of sleep.

"Of course, I'm going to my room, try not to drown yourself in a bottle of vodka" she tried to make her way to her bedroom, but her mother was quick to grab her arm forcefully.

"I would be careful about what I say, remember you are the reason I drink in the first place" she spat out.

"Let go of my arm, you are hurting me" she tried to get her arm free but Serena's hold was strong.

"Should have known you'd be rotten just like him, with those big brown eyes and shining dark hair. You make it impossible for me to forget" she saw grief taking over her mothers eyes and a pang of long familiar guilt flamed inside her chest. Her arm finally free, she managed to get inside her room, just in time to feel the first tear coming out of her eye. She was rapid to clean her face, refusing to cry about it yet again. She threw herself at the bed and in the distance she could hear the bottles clinging onto one another as her mother looked for one half full. She hoped the next day was better, she could use a good one.

Waking up the next morning, she felt her bladder screaming at her and she was quick to make her way to the bathroom. After relieving herself, she took a look at the mirror, noticing the darkness under her eyes. Looking down at her forearm, she could see the distinct imprint of Serena's fingers in a dark purple color she was quite familiar with. Sighing, she made a mental note to pick a long sleeve shirt for her lunch date, since the one she planned on wearing clearly wouldn't do. For the first time she was thankful for the colder weather for the excuse to wear such a shirt. She looked at the mirror again, trying to understand what Elliot could possibly have seen on her to wish to know her better. It was a mystery to her.

Taking the opportunity of the unusual free morning, she got ahead with her assignments from her classes that were still far due, but that way she didn't have the worry of being unable to finish them.

Her phone biped with a text, the address staring back at her.

Unknown: See you soon

She saved his number, and smiled at the text. Going out of the room, she saw the mess the living room was turned into by her mother. Picking up the bottles, she tried to make it as clean as possible. When she realized, she was almost late to her date. Putting her clothes on, she chose back high heeled boots she barely had a chance of wearing. Applying a little make up, she was satisfied with her appearance. When she made her way to the door, she noticed her mother was now awake, grabbing something from the fridge. Serena took a look at her as she opened the door and the last thing she heard before she left the house was the muttered words from her mother.

Whore

She was 15 minutes late when she finally made it to the dinner he picked up. The atmosphere was warm and calming, and looked like a family owned restaurant. She spotted him immediately as he waved from a booth near the window.

"Hey, you made it. I was starting to think you had stood me up" he joked at her.

"Sorry, I had a long night and lost track of time this morning" she explained sheepishly. The waiter approached their table giving them the menus "So, what's good here?"

"You see, I'm partial to the burger and fries" he replied "But if you don't eat that-"

"Of course I eat burgers and fries, are you crazy? It has its own pyramid group in my nourishment." He laughed at her, thinking it was nice going out with someone who didn't eat only salads. They ordered their food and sat in a comfortable silence.

"You look nice" he said to her. Her cheeks grew immediately warm, not used to receiving compliments these days.

"Thank you" she said "Tell me something about you" she tried to move the conversation.

"Oh, well, I'm 21. I'm obviously single. I live in the tiniest apartment in Queens." He said smiling "I was a marine, as soon as I left I got into the police academy"

"Oh" she was surprised.

"Oh?" He thought she was taken aback about him being into the academy.

"It 's just… I plan to join the academy myself as soon as I'm done with college" she informed him. It was his time to be surprised.

"That's… that's actually surprising" he said to her "You look more like a lawyer or something"

"No, definitely not going into law school" she said. "I'm 19, almost 20. Currently living with my mother, only for saving mom purposes" she explained "I plan on moving out soon"

"That's why you work at the bookstore?" He asked.

"Yeah, I've been saving money. Unfortunately, as soon as I'm getting close enough, something happens that makes me fall back into my savings" she sighed.

"I know how it is, believe me" he agreed with her.

Their food arrived, giving them time to ponder the new information. She took a bite of her burger, moaning at the rich flavor. Her stomach reminded her she had nothing to eat since lunch the day before. "Oh my god, this is so good"

He sat there watching her, not believing how beautiful she was. She looked up, catching him looking at her. She blushed and gave him a smirk. "Didn't your mama teach you it's not polite to state?"

It was his turn to blush, but he was quick to recover "She did, yeah. However she never laid her eyes on you, I'm sure I'd be forgiven"

"You have to stop saying these things" she grew quiet, putting her burger down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" he apologized, but not really understanding why it would bother her so much.

Olivia however, could only think about her own mother. You are pure sin, with those big brown eyes and shining dark hair, you look just like him, you're rotten, Olivia. She was never comfortable with her looks, her mom made sure of it. She only thought her looks were proof of the terrible violence her mother suffered. But of course she wasn't even close to sharing that part of herself.

"Tell me about you gardening mom" she changed the subject.

"My mom… that one is a piece of work, but I love her dearly. She's a widow, but insists on doing everything by herself. As you know, now she's taking to gardening." He shared.

"I'm sorry about your dad"

"It's ok, she is better without him" he said enigmaticly. "What about your mom?" She tenses at that.

"She's an English professor" she cautiously said.

"That explains your knowledge of books" he grins at her.

"Yeah, that was always something we have shared" she says, not really giving any more information. They finish their meal, sharing light information, and getting to know each other.

"Want to take a walk?" He was not really to their date to end.

"I actually have to go to the women shelter, but we could walk there if you are up to it"

"I am" they asked for the check. Putting on their coats they made their way to the shelter.

"Do you mind me asking you why you're single?" He asked boldly.

"Just not really looking for something, I had a boyfriend before, but I've been so focused on work, something gotta give" she explained, and remembered her relationship with Burton. "What about you?"

"Me? I had a high school sweetheart, in catholic school. I was pretty sure we were going to get married. We had a pregnancy scare and that pretty much killed the relationship… I joined the marines not long after that. I just never met anyone interesting until now." He grinned at her.

"Catholic school, hm? Figures" she teases.

"Hey! What does that mean?" He fakes being offended.

"Figures catholic school wouldn't teach you to put on a fucking codom" she laughed at him. He couldn't take his eyes off her, laughing at him, her cheek and nose slightly red from the cold, she was beautiful. He laughed with her.

"I guess you are right"

"We are here" she pointed at the building. His shoulders dropped, disappointed at the end of their date.

"I guess we are" they stared at each other. She was the one who made the move, planting her lips against him in a light kiss. He responded, feeling like electricity was running through his veins.

"Thank you for lunch" she said opening the door "I'll text you when I make it home, ok?"

"Please do" he said. "See you soon, Liv" he said, giving her a nickname. She beamed at him.

"Can't wait" she got inside and he stood there until the door closed.

Can't wait is right. He thought before starting walking again.