After a few days of training I notice that something seems a little off with Selene. So, while we're preparing some food for dinner I ask, "Selene, is everything ok?"
"It is between your father and I at the moment."
I mull that over for a while as we work in silence and I continue to prepare the fire as she seasons the meat. As the meat goes onto the cooking surface along with some fresh vegetables, I say, "I think, that, if that was true, I wouldn't have noticed it."
Selene nods after a moment, "That is a fair observation. While I will not share the details of our talks. He accused me of stealing you away from him."
I look up sharply before I disappear from the cave and storm into his cabin by the lake. When he's not there I teleport back to Selene, "Where is he! He has no right to say that to you. Not when he's not taken any interest in what you and I are doing."
Selene smiles up at me with a curious expression, "He left before Catlin came to see me. Thank you for sending her to get some rest, it gave us time to talk. Time she sorely needed."
"What! He could have come downstairs to check on me if he's that interested in my life. Hell, at any time before I met you he could have taken an interest in me, and tried to find out what I was going through at school. But he didn't. I had to find out from Lacey that he tried to get me into home schooling back in January when I ended up in hospital. Would it have changed if I went back to school or not? Absolutely not, but it would have changed everything for me. I'd have known that he was fighting for me. I don't even think he really wanted to see my camp either. He was just humoring me until I came home with a fucking concussion. Then we met you and you cared. I mean, I know that you had ulterior motives at the time, and my apprenticeship was the carrot to get yourself a new body. But you still gave a damn, and since then you've done more than have me run errands and teach me the odd thing here and there. You've listened to me, and given me advice about life. What did dad do during all this? After three months of learning how to use his magic, he goes home and what? Buries himself in work? I came here to train twice before Skidmark shot dad, that's not including when I brought Catlin to see you. Then he was here when he built his cabin, and he watched us train with spears. He could have asked after me, or even come to see us. But he spent the entire time with Kurt and Lacey. No, you haven't stolen me from dad, he did that all on his own. Then he tries to play the stern parent and treat me like I'm, what? 13? 14? Maybe even like a normal 15 year old. Instead, he's all 'Promise me that you'll find a safe place to sleep on Earth Bet.' I mean, I'd have been perfectly safe just finding somewhere random to setup a camp in the jungle. Then I get home after a brilliant BBQ and he's asking me 'Where have you been young lady' as though I'm not 16. Then he just runs off without warning."
Selene interrupts me and says, "That is actually my fault."
I turn from my pacing and look at her, "What happened?"
"I would not let him return to the mortal world until he promised to return to this world as soon as he could after midday every day, and spend at least 20 days here working on his mind with me. I was a little upset with how he had forced you to make a promise that you had no guarantee of being able to fulfill."
I slump down on the other side of the fire, "Oh. Every day?"
Selene nods, "Yes."
"So when I pointed out that the canyon opens up earlier in the grassland."
"It forced him to go to the grassland to wait for the canyon to open."
"How long is he going to have to keep doing that?"
Selene shrugs as she turns over the meat, "I do not know. It depends on him, and how long it takes for him to deal with all his demons. You could go and see him now if you wished."
I let out a deliberate sigh and push down my anger, "I know I could. It's just, there's several fragile things near him, like his house. My emotions have been all over the place recently. I'd've never gotten that angry before, well I would, but it would have all been inside and I'd have never said anything. Besides, I'm just not going to put post-it notes on the grandfather clock to say when the canyon opens in each world."
Selene smiles gently at me, "Berenike, it is a sign that you are healing. Now, while we eat, would you like to talk about my mind reading?"
I nod, "It's probably a safer subject than dad is at the moment. But I don't want details on how to do it. I know you're going to teach me one day, it's just…"
"Berenike, I won't need to teach you how to do it. For those such as I, reading the minds of mortals is as easy as breathing. For an immortal such as yourself it is only marginally harder. Equally, you will not understand this until you first grant a mortal your mark. For a mortal that is blessed with magic, their entire inner world would be contained in a single flower from your inner world. Near mortals are not much better, as they may have a forest clearing from your world. It is only when you reach the fae and near immortals that their worlds start to approach your own in size, though they are devoid of life. My own inner world is to yours as yours is to a mortal. You are but a single step away from me, but that step is a large as all of the previous steps you would have taken to reach this point were you not bless by Tyche. Were you that bit older or less distressed, the journey to the sea would have killed you. Maybe you will grow to see that Nemesis allowed this as payment for your years of misfortune."
I frown gently for a moment as I momentarily blank on how we got onto this subject, "Weren't we talking about dad?"
Selene nods, "We were, and I changed the subject once your ire ran its course. It is natural and healthy to feel the way you have been, and over time we will talk more. But for now I asked if you'd like to talk about my mind reading, and we started talking about inner worlds."
I nod, "Oh, right, I remember. Sorry about that."
"It is fine, emotions do not loosen their hold on your mind just because you have finished dealing with them for the moment. It is why my old people named them, especially the negative emotions, and assigned them to gods."
I think about that for a moment, "I can see that. You're distracting me again."
Selene nods, "I am, as you are in danger of dwelling on the past and seeing things that may not be there in truth."
I huff good naturedly, "Fine, is it weird for a mother to hug one daughter and not the other?"
Selene shakes her head, "That I cannot tell you. What is good and normal for one family might be anathema in another. While I do read minds like breathing, I do not copy them to sort through at leisure, so I am not entirely conversant with your culture and the expectations it places on people.
"If it concerns you, then you can either show me your memories, or introduce my emissary to them. You could also tell them my name, and allow them to speak to me of their concerns in confidence. I may not be able to read their minds while they do that. However, I have often found that that knowing that is more a comfort than knowing that I, as can any god, could just dip into their mind and withdraw all of their deepest secrets." I shuffle uncomfortably at the idea, "This is why I asked that you not mention it to others. It is merely another aspect of magic like the fact it is easier to control and destroy than it is to heal and create. Take your inner world as an example. What would someone that entered it against your will be able to tell?"
I sit there as our food sizzle and cooks over the fire before stepping into my inner world and looking around.
I've been staring at the racing clouds and choppy seas for several minutes before I realize that I've seen them change on a dime. Stepping back to my body I blurt, "Emotions."
Selene nods, "Indeed, and how many overt associations there are between your memories. Can I see more? Of course, but I have thousands of years experience with interpreting those emotions that I cannot help reading from those around me. I do not generally need to see more. Those like yourself and your father, your; minds are fully enclosed in your magic, so my own magic has no way in without you inviting me."
I suddenly have a sinking feeling, "This is related to my ability to hear the things around me, isn't it."
"To some extent, yes. Though even a near immortal would need to put effort into that which will one day become natural to you. But, as with reading facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language, understanding what you feel takes time, experience, and understanding. As my apprentice, it is one of many skills I will be teaching you in time, once you are ready for them. I do not believe that you would abuse this responsibility, but even the best person will eventually fall to temptation if they are not ready for its burden. As inexperienced as you are, it is likely that you will eventually find yourself in a situation where reading a mind is the only solution. In my own experience, it has only ever been with those who are too far gone to reach with words that ever need to have their memories read. Even then, I could have chosen to leave them to die."
"That's, horrible. How did you handle needing to make such a choice?"
Selene laughs, "Like any other person, sometimes well, sometimes badly. It is interesting that you focus on that, rather than the looming prospect of learning to do something you find distasteful."
I sigh, "I sort of figured that sort of thing would come up. I know that I'm your apprentice, and that comes with the good and the bad. If this was when we first met, I think I'd have been horrified, as I always dreamt of being a hero until I got powers. Then they turned out to be useless powers, it's hard to be a hero when all you can do it fight grime."
Selene smiles, "Indeed, in my time in the mortal world, heroes tended to be fairly bloodthirsty, sometimes only marginally better than the monsters they slew. Yet now you could be a hero by your own peoples standards."
I nod, "I could. I'll probably do some patrols with the other heroes too. But I'm not a warrior, you've seen to that. I'm a hunter. If there's a threat I'll deal with it, but I'd much rather. I'd much rather live like this frankly. It's peaceful here, and it's home."
Selene nods, "And you will always be welcome here. But remember, without the mortal world, this world would not exist. While this may be a home and a sanctuary, it cannot be your sole focus."
"What do you mean?"
"You have spoken of movies from Earth Aleph have you not?"
Confused I say, "Well, yes. We might not be able to trade physical goods, but we can still trade ideas."
Selene nods, "Yet this Earth Aleph is not one of the worlds you can visit. Are there other worlds out there that would be less accommodating to the mortal world than they have been? Neither of us can answer that question, yet, if you were to stay here and divorce yourself from the mortal world, you would not know if one such world invaded your own."
"Oh, do you really think…"
Selene shakes her head, "No, but equally I could have never imagined that Earth Aleph ever existed. It is merely one of a great many good reasons not to lose touch with the mortal world."
The two of us lapse into a companionable silence while I consider what Selene's just told me. Far better than the awkward silence we had before.
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The next morning, well, Earth Bet morning anyway I head down to breakfast late. When I get downstairs, dad's munching on a piece of toast with some paperwork beside him.
As he looks up he snarks, "Not good enough to eat breakfast with your old man?"
I stand there stock still for a second and just stare at him. Then I shout, "No dad, you don't get to sit there and say that. Not after everything else that's happened over the last two years! I've been living here ever day since mum died, and you haven't." Dad opens his mouth to say something and I steamroller over him, "Oh, no, this is my time to talk and you're listening. For months after mum died Aunt Zoe and Uncle Alan were better parents to me than you were, and even after that you just stopped being interested in me. No dad, this is my perspective not yours. Don't even think about trying the 'I was looking out for you' shit. It doesn't matter, because I didn't know you were looking out for me. For Christs sake, I had to find out that you'd been looking at homeschooling me in January from Lacey. Don't you think that just maybe I'd have liked to know that back in January? It's been like that all the time, you've been sick. Then things start to be getting better after I run away and survive Lung, until you get shot. Next thing I know you're behaving like none of that fucking week even happened. Then, after Selene has spent a years worth of time helping you get your head out of your fucking ass, you treat me like I'm 13 and you're putting me on a bus to stay at Uncle Alan's, 'Promise me that you won't get off the bus until you get to South Street park, then walk directly to Uncle Alan's'. Dad, I'm 16 not how ever old you think I am."
Dad interrupts, "15"
I shake my head, "Only by the Earth Bet calendar, not by how long I've lived. You can't even get that right. I know you're healing, and I've been trying so hard to accept that. But you can't just step back into the dad role as if nothing's changed. I've grown a lot since then. I've been forced to, and I'm healing too. I know you've read my journals, or at least I hope you have as you had a year to read them, but that doesn't tell you who I am. You'd need to be part of my life to know that, and you haven't been doing that. I was training with Selene for two weeks while you were there, and never once did you come to see me and see what I was doing, it was always us coming to visit you. Selene's not stealing me away dad, you're just not doing anything to stay as part of my life. Last night at the BBQ, do you know what I saw? I saw three sets of parents occasionally coming out to check on their daughters while we were chatting after Connor went to sleep. Even if Mrs Dallon only seemed to check on Victoria. Nothing much, just asking if we wanted any more food or drink, but they were still there. How many nights did I sit at the computer or in my room and you didn't say anything to me? I'm going to get my books, and then I'm going to the office."
I turn around and walk out the door to the hall rather than through the lounge. As I'm closing the door behind me, I look back, "Oh, and dad. The reason I'm up late is because I was babysitting Connor and stayed up until Catlin got back. Which you'd have known if you'd bothered coming back downstairs after you went into the dream."
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Around lunch time, I leave my study room and head over to dad's office to see if either of them want anything, only to stop as I hear dad say, "Am I a bad parent?"
Lacey says, "No Danny, you're not a bad parent. You're not a good parent either. You'd need to be there emotionally to be either. You just have trouble showing anyone what's going on in that thick skull of yours, and Taylor's too young to go drinking with you…"
I turn away from the office and walk over to the table that Mike, Andros, Sarah, and Benji are playing cards, "Hey guys, I was thinking about doing some lunch, how does rabbit thing stew sound?"
The four of them share glances and Mike says, "As long as it's hot and filling, I don't care."
The other three all nod and say variations on, "What he said."
I glance back at the office, "Let dad know I'm teleporting home to deal with lunch."
Sarah starts to put her cards down, "I should really go with you."
I hesitate, as I know that she's just looking out for me. After a second I say, "You guys all know about Selene? And other worlds?"
Benji says, "What, like Earth Aleph?"
I shake my head, "No, the ones that dad and I can go to."
"Then no."
"Ah, well, Selene is my teacher in one of those other worlds, and she warned me to be careful about who I take out there. I don't mind taking you to dad's house, but you'd need to talk to Selene before I take you hunting with me."
Sarah nods, "How would I go about talking to Selene if she's in another world?"
"You can say her name and title. That's 'Selene, goddess of the moon'. She'll be able to hear you and talk back, kinda like a cellphone without the phone."
"Well, I'm ready, let's get to your house, and I'll talk to her while you're doing your thing."
I teleport the two of us home, and let Sarah fall onto our couch while I grab the large stew pot from the top of the kitchen cupboards and rummage around in the fridge and cupboards for vegetables, dried herbs, spices, and stock cubes. While I'm at it, I grab a half empty bottle of red wine we sometimes use for cooking.
Halfway through putting the ingredients in the pot, Sarah walks into the kitchen and grumbles, "After she stopped laughing, Selene said she'd send her emissary over to the office before we leave. I'm supposed to be the bodyguard here, not you."
I look up, "Why, what else did she say?"
"If I pass, it would be good practice for you in how to protect someone while hunting. Oh, and I'm to ask, not require a promise. Will you be returning directly to the house?"
I nod, "That was my plan, as I don't want to take all of this to the union building, only to need to bring it all home later."
Sarah nods, "How long do you think you'll be?"
I think for a moment, "Maybe around 15-20 minutes, certainly less than an hour."