-First chapter of Isaac and Allison's story. This starts off a bit differently then I the others. we delve into the angst first. It's necessary. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1

Allison:

"Kate, stop." I screamed. My heart beating out of my chest as I struggled against the two berserkers, she had holding me as she raked her claws down Isaac's chest.

"You know, I could see her with Scott, I mean at least he was a fighter. You are a sad replacement. She really traded an alpha for you." she sneered at him. she had him by the throat against a wall, squeezing tighter and tighter until I could see him struggle to breath.

"Let him go." I screamed. Tears were streaming down my face as I watched. Isaac's eyes looked over at me and I didn't see fear, I saw his worry for me. I knew he was not fighting back for me, but I need him to fight.

"Isaac, it's okay." I croaked. I nodded to him. "it's okay."

"Alli-" he was cut off by a deafening roar and his eyes turned bright gold. Scott. With a growl Isaac slammed his claws into her side and twisted, digging deeper. Deep enough for her to let him go. He took the opportunity and shoved her with as much force as he could. She slammed into a stone pole, fragments and dust particles floating around her, then rolled. Isaac fell to the ground, coughing and gasping. He was hurt and weak from what she did. I could see the blood dripping from the marks she left, I didn't know how deep she dug into him.

The berserkers let go of me and started towards him. Kate snarled jumping to her feet , hands raised as she ran at him.

"Kate, no. don't." I yelled, panicking. Without thinking I dropped, rolled, and grabbed my crossbow that had skittered away when I was grabbed. With panting breaths, and through blurred eyes I aimed at her.

"Please." I begged knowing it would do no good. She howled loudly and I took my shot. I wasn't really aiming at any spot in particular, I just wanted to stop her. But the arrow found its way through to her heart.

Unbelievingly I dropped my bow and stared. She jolted with a grunt and turned to look at me, surprise painting her features. Her shift back to human was immediate and I flashed back to every moment I had with my aunt. Every laugh. Every hug. Every cry. Every shared secret. I considered her my sister for so long. The one I told everything too. the one I loved even more then my own parents at one point.

"Allison." She whispered falling to her knees as she stared back at me before she fell. She was dead.

"WHAT DID I DO." Could be heard clearly from somewhere within the building. It was the same thing I asked myself.

What did I do…

"Alli?"

My name being called pulled me from my thoughts, as it had so many times over the last two weeks. I blinked and looked over at my boyfriend, who was glancing at me from the road, in concern, as we followed Lydia's car to the lake house.

"huh?" I asked, not sure if he had asked me something and I didn't respond.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded offering a small smile that I knew he could see through. "Just lost in thought."

"About what?"

"Nothing important." I said, turning to stare out the window again.

It had been two weeks since we were in that church. Since we found and saved Liam, since Theo had to be changed, since Corey was rescued. Two weeks since I killed my aunt.

"Hey." He called gaining my attention again. "Talk to me Allicat."

He reached over and grabbed my hands. I had a habit of cracking my knuckles when I was upset or thinking too hard. I grabbed his in both of mine holding on tight, practically squeezing the life out of it.

I had been clinging to him since that night, when I thought I was going to lose him. that's the part that bothered me more, that I could have lost him at the hands of someone I once considered my family. But even still it was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that I killed someone. Monster or not I killed her. I took her life. I don't know if I will ever really be okay with that.

No one outside of me, my dad and Isaac know what happened. They know Kate is dead, but everyone assumes my father is the one who killed her. Not even our friends know that it was me. I'm scared of how they would react if they did know. they all hated her and for good reason, but I don't know how they will feel that her blood is on my hands. But I also don't think I want to keep quiet about it either.

"I think I need to tell them." I whispered.

"About that night." he said, not as a question but as a fact. I nodded looking over at him. "You don't have too. if you don't want, they don't have to know."

'I know. But I think they should know. With everything still up in the air with Gerard and Simon, I don't want this to be found out any other way. I need to be the one to do it."

"Is that the only reason?" he asked.

I didn't answer, he already knew the answer to that. I just raised his hand and kissed it, smiling at him. he nodded.

"Okay, why don't we start small. Let's tell Scott and Lydia first."

It made sense, Scott was his closest friend and his alpha, and Lydia was Scott's mate and my best friend, practically a sister to me. I knew both of them had been worried about me. Lydia's offered to listen if and when I wanted to talk. Scott said the same thing. You could see the concern as they noticed me act out of character.

"Okay." I nodded. he gave my hand one last squeeze before putting it back on the wheel. We were coming up to the house now. I took a deep breath and tried to clear my thoughts.

Minutes later we pulled up to the house and everyone got out, grabbing bags, and heading straight to their rooms to put them away. The sounds of laughter and teasing could be heard all around, but I sat silently on the bed, staring numbly at the floor. Isaac took the moment to put away our stuff, giving me time to collect myself. He knew that once I made a decision I wouldn't want to put it off. I know today is supposed to be our first day of our vacation, but I couldn't wait.

When he was done he kneeled in front of me, forcing my eyes to him. the sad smile he gave me almost broke me. but the kiss he placed on my forehead did. I haven't cried since that night. Since my father found us and saw what had happened. Then I just cried and apologized over and over. He held me then reassuring me. But here I was sobbing. He pulled me up and into his arms, cradling my head against his chest. My fingers gripped his shirt, hard enough I thought I could actually rip the material.

"I'm sorry." I breathed against him.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about." He told me softly.

He was wrong though. I did have something to be sorry about. He didn't sign up for this. He's my boyfriend not my therapist. Not my caretaker. I haven't been much of a girlfriend the last couple of weeks. As much as I clung to him I have been kind of despondent. Anything past kissing has been null and void since then. He has just held me and told him it was okay and that he loved me.

"Stop." He said. "Whatever you are thinking, just stop. I'm here for whatever you need, even if it's just to hold you and let you cry it out."

I nodded, holding on for dear life. He seemed to be the only thing keeping me from sinking further into guilt and depression. I know I could go to my dad but, even though he said he doesn't blame me and that he knows I did what I had to do, I still feel like he should. She was his sister. He should be angry with me. Even just a little bit. It makes me feel worse that he isn't.

"Everything okay?"

I pulled away from Isaac to see Lydia and Scott in the doorway. Both looking concerned. Lydia looked like she wanted to just wrap me up. I wiped at my eyes and almost nodded but didn't. I looked up at Isaac, conveying to him what I wanted. He nodded.

"Do you guys want to take a walk with us?" he asked them.

"Sure. Let's go." Scott said pulling Lydia back out the door though she resisted a bit watching me with even more worry.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" Isaac asked me.

"Yeah. I feel like I need to tell at least them right now."

"Okay." he cupped my face and kissed me gently. "They won't blame you. none of them will. They will understand." He reassured me.

I hoped he was right. I wanted him to be right, but I couldn't get out of my head that what I did was inexcusable. I took a shaky breath and grabbed his hand, pulling him out the door to where Lydia and Scott were waiting for us by the stairs.

Isaac:

"Going for a walk. Be back." Scott called out as he lead us through the kitchen and out the back door. We heard Stiles give confirmation that he heard him.

The walk was silent as we trampled through the woods behind the house. It was in the opposite direction of where Scott had been shot and Lydia almost taken. He would never want her to see that area ever again.

This clearing was smaller and held mostly dirt, but there were two smallish tree stumps close enough together that we could sit and talk comfortably without yelling back and forth. Scott and I sat, pulling both girls onto our laps. Things stayed quiet while Allison gathered her nerve to speak. Her heartbeat was going crazy, and she was almost trembling.

"What's going on guys? You know you can talk to us about anything." Scott said. Allison startled, having lost herself in thought again. I hated seeing her like this. I placed a kiss near her ear, wrapping my arms around her.

"It's okay. I'm right here." I whispered to her.

she sighed, steeling herself, and launched into the story of Kate's death. From the moment Scott, Derek and Theo ran off to us meeting up afterwards. She broke half way through describing what Kate was doing when she shot her arrow and rambled an explanation of how she hadn't meant to kill her only to get her to stop. I stopped her, pulling her head to my shoulder. She sobbed and kept trying to talk but I shushed her.

"Allison." Lydia gently called to her. "You have to know, no one would blame you for what happened. You were put in a position you never should have been put in. I hate that you had to do that but that really wasn't your fault."

"But I killed her. I did that." Allison cried.

"No, you saved Isaac's life. You saved your mates life." Scott told her.

"You saved Lydia, and you didn't have to kill Greenberg to do it."

"You don't think I would have? The only thing that stopped me from killing him was Lydia. I literally dreamed of killing that asshole in the most painful way possible. If Lydia had been physical hurt, I don't think I would have stopped myself from ending his life and I would not have felt one bit of remorse for it." Scott said with conviction.

"I just feel so bad. She was my aunt. At one time she was the closest person to me."

"And that's why you feel bad. I'm sure killing someone isn't a great feeling at all. But killing someone you cared about, someone you once had a strong bond with, that's what you're struggling with."

Lydia got up and kneeled in front of her.

"Sweetie, you were forced into a situation where you had to make a choice, a horrible one. It sucks and I'm sure it hurts like hell. But you have to remember that it was her choices that put you there. She made decisions that had consequences she couldn't outrun no matter how hard she tried. One of those decision was to go after someone you loved. someone you would live and die for and unfortunately the consequence of that ended her life. Do you regret saving Isaac?"

"No, of course not. I would do it all over again. I just wish…"

"I know. I do too, for your benefit not hers. Try to remember she was no longer the same person you knew. Whether it was turning into a shifter or Gerard that made her into the person she became, doesn't matter. At that moment, she was no longer your aunt. I hate to say it but you're aunt died the day she set that fire."

"I know. I know. I just can't… it hurts, so much. I miss who she used to be. I wanted my aunt back. I wanted that relationship back. I had hoped that maybe, if we got her help, she could be her again."

"Help only works if she wanted it and if she accepted it. I know your dad had a place in mind to take her but who's to say that she would have stayed there or that she would have tried to change, become the person she used to be."

"Have you talked to your dad about how you are feeling?" Scott asked, coming to stand behind Lydia. Allison shook her head.

"Not since it happened. He says he's not angry and that he understands but I don't understand how he couldn't be angry. How he couldn't blame me, hate me for this."

"Your father could never hate you." I told her.

"He's right. Argent loves you so much. That's probably part of why he hasn't poisoned Isaac yet." Scott teased.

"That's still not out of the realm of possibilities." I said. Allison gave a watery laugh.

"My dad isn't going to poison you." she sniffed.

Lydia stood and pulled Allison up and hugged her.

"We don't judge you for what you had to do. You saved Isaac. That's all that matters. It wasn't your fault what she did and what she forced you to do." She told her.

Scott pulled me up and over to the side away from the girls.

"I think you should take her to see Derek." He said.

"Derek, why?"

"He went through something similar when he was a kid. He would understand what she is feeling better than any of us. He may be able to help her gain some clarity on this. Hopefully, help her deal with it better."

"But would he want to though? I mean this is Kate."

"You can only ask. He may have hated Kate, but I don't think he would hold that against Allison. And I'm sure if you ask him to at least consider it he would."

"Yeah, okay. I'll give him a call." I sighed, watching her cry into Lydia's shoulder.

"How are you handling this?"

"What Kate?"

"No, the fact that your mate is so upset. It's a horrible feeling when your mate is hurting but you can't really do anything about it."

"Yeah it is. I don't know man. I mean… I could have done it." I told him. "I had the opportunity to kill Kate, but I didn't take it. I just… I know Kate was a monster and all, but she was still her family. I couldn't bring myself to take away another member of her family. But if I had done it then Allison wouldn't be suffering like this. It should have been me."

"Yeah, I thought the same thing when I was dealing with Gerard sophomore year. There were a couple of times that I could have just ended it. Even with the pills, I could have asked Deaton to put something stronger in them, something that wouldn't have just put him in a wheelchair for what was supposed to be the rest of his life. But I didn't because of her. Because as evil as he was and is, he was her family."

"I just don't know how to help her."

"You already are. This isn't something that's just going to go away in two weeks. Look at Liam, he still thinks about what he almost did to Theo. And Malia, she still thinks that if she had only been able to kill Corrine sooner Stiles never would have been taken and almost killed. Same with me and Greenberg."

"Would you really have killed him if Lydia had been more hurt."

"Without a shadow of a doubt. I still have moments where I think about finding him and ending him. Just because in my mind as long as he is alive he poses a threat. Never mind that he is locked up for the rest of his miserable life."

"Would you really not feel any guilt over doing it?"

"Yes and no. I'm sure that if I had, afterwards I would have thought about that fact that I took a life, any life. It might have eaten at me a bit. But saving her would be worth any feelings I would have had afterwards."

"Yeah, I get that. She was so worried about telling you guys, telling everyone actually. But I knew she would never be judged for it, not like she thought she would."

"Living in the world we are, the supernatural world, there is no black and white unfortunately. We live in those shades of grey. I haven't had to kill anyone, yet. But I don't really hold out hope that it will stay that way. whether I'm fighting for my survival or one of you, I'm sure there will come a time that I'll understand what she is going through. Hell, we may all understand what she is going through at some point. But I don't think any of us would ever think too harshly of any of us for doing what needs to be done to live."

"Geez dude, did you drink the wisdom wine or something?"

He snorted.

"No, I just have had to think about this a lot. especially now. You realize in just this last year alone with have dealt with druids, alphas, stalkers, assassins, berserkers, and Kate, and we still have more drama to come. I'll be shocked if by the end of all of this no one else will have blood on their hands. I hope not, but I'm not that naïve or stupid."

"That's valid. Yeah, I don't even want to think about what's coming. I am honest to God hoping that it doesn't come knocking on our door for a very long time."

"Dude, you've jinxed it now. Come on, you know better." He groaned. I laughed at the exasperated expression on his face.

"Sorry."

Lydia and Allison approached us, Allison looking somewhat lighter. I pulled her back into my arms, holding her tight.

"Did you want to keep this just between us. You can. We don't have to tell anyone else." Scott said.

"No, I want to tell everyone, especially with Gerard still out there. Isaac just thought it would be good for us to tell you first." Allison told him.

"Okay, you just let us know when. We'll be there with you when you do."

She nodded leaning her head against my chest.

"None of them will blame you or judge you for this." Lydia assured her. Allison smiled at her.

"Are we ready to head back?" Scott asked.

"You guys go ahead. We'll be right behind you in a few minutes." I told them. They nodded before turning and leaving us alone in the clearing.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. I feel a little better."

"Good. I told you it would be okay."

"I know. I think I just needed to see for myself."

"I know. But I'm calling it now. When you decide, if you still want to, tell the others they will be just as understanding of what happened." She nodded. "And when that happens, I want you to turn to me and say, 'You, Isaac the all-knowing and all powerful, were right and I shall never doubt you again." I smiled when she burst into laughter, real laughter.

"I love you." she said looking up at me with that beautiful smile that just melts me every time.

"I love you too."