Updated A.N: Below is the original author's note from AO3. I posted this there but forgot to post it here. This compilation is very much a work in progress. I do have things planned for this, just not enough time to write everything. But I'm still trying.
A.N: These are my headcanons from Tumblr. I wanted a place to consolidate all of them. This is not intended to be a story, but I'm hoping it acts as a set of moments that can paint a picture of the bond between Noah and Alex. Some of these headcanons are short, mostly dialogue, and others like this one are much longer. I will release a consolidation of my A/O headcanons as well a little later. Sorry in advance for quality. I wrote many of these fast as they are supposed to be quick and fun. To be honest, I'm nervous posting them because I normally post stories here. I'm not sure how this will work.
In this headcanon Noah is around 18 months.
(Olivia's Apartment)
Noah's cries filled the air shattering the bedroom's silence for the third time that night.
Alex reached out, stilling the shifting warmth beside her with a heavy hand and limp grasp. "I got it." She mumbled into the pillow but hesitated to stir as Noah's incessant cries grew louder, ripping them from desperate slumber.
"…You sure?" Olivia mumbled back.
"Yeah."
Alex inched out of bed backwards, her toe then foot touching the carpet. She slid from beneath the comfort of the sheets, bracing the nightstand to gain her footing and push past the exhaustion weighing her shoulders down. She grabbed her glasses and slipped them on, but not before recoiling at a poke in the eye.
"Use the overnight diapers."
"Got it Liv."
Even in the thick of sleep Olivia still murmured specifics…
Alex trudged to the door and weakly pulled it open, her will strained as her bare feet dragged across the floor. Out one room and into the other, Noah's cries shrieked as she pushed open the cracked door to his room; a Chromotherapy light in the corner, shifting through soft cool colors; marine animal shapes painting the walls and ceiling shades of blue.
"Hey little dude." Alex rasped and pulled Noah out of the crib; his cries turning to silent sniffles as their eyes met.
Smelled like pee tonight...Noah had spared her his number two. Thank God.
With him cradled against her arm she meandered to the light switch, feeling for it by memory and flipping it on.
"Overnight..." She squinted, her eyes burning slightly at the rapid adjustment as she started over, eyeing the diaper bag by the changing table against the wall.
Noah hugged her shoulder, gnawing at the crook of her neck out of boredom, scraping her skin with the few teeth he had in his mouth. At a tickle up her neck, she smiled. "Hey...only mom is allowed to do that."
Alex grabbed a clean diaper from the bag and laid Noah on the changing table.
"Don't pee on me."
Noah giggled and squeaked with a smile as she undid the dirty diaper. In a haze she trusted her muscle memory to do the job, swapping out the diapers with practiced ease, grateful to have emerged over that learning curve...even if she still stumbled her way up the rest of the "parenting ladder".
"All done." Alex picked him up, his eyes bright and alert. "How do you have so much energy?"
He looked deep into her eyes, begging her not to put him back in that prison. She sighed. What would be the harm in tiring him out a little?
"Alright, two laps around the sofa and you're done." She set him on the floor and pulled the door open for him. He busted into the living room like a dog being let outside and she flicked the lights on before he ran into something he couldn't see. It would suck having to explain to Olivia why he was injured, and why he was running around the house at 3 in the morning.
Noah jetted around the room with a wide grin, and she leaned against the wall. Once, twice, she counted how many times he passed the remotes on the coffee table, her designated lap marker. "Alright, come on, back to bed." The energy drained from her voice.
On his third lap she yawned, and Noah picked up the TV remote, staring at it with his tongue between his lips as he tried to make sense of the buttons.
"Shit." She pushed off the wall, using the last of her energy to get to him as he smashed buttons with his tiny thumbs.
"If you wake her up 3 hours before her shift we'll both be in trouble, and I'll have to deal with it. " Alex pulled the remote out of his grasp, freezing at the sudden pitiful twist of his face. He frowned, his eyes watering.
"No no no." Alex crouched, her second wind the adrenaline rushing down her back at the thought of Olivia waking to Noah's cries; Olivia's sleepy glare and raw demeanor two things she'd rather avoid. "Come on, no crying. If you cry, I'm gonna cry." Alex turned the TV on. "Let's watch TV. That's what you want, right?"
Noah's quivering lip settled and his focus turned to the bright, animated screen.
Alex scooped him up and meandered to the light switch, soothing Noah with soft circles rubbed into his back. She hit the light switch with her elbow and the room darkened; a hint of warmth in the kitchen, coming from a small light on the underside of the mounted microwave.
She sat on the sofa, kicked her legs up, and leaned back with a sigh; her head on the pillow at the armrest.
"CNBC. That'll put you to sleep." Alex melted into the sofa cushions with Noah on her chest, her hands cradling his small body and his fluffy curls tickling her chin. With his cheek pressed to her chest he watched the TV, engrossed in the stock market tickers scrolling fast beneath the news anchor's image. He bunched a fistful of Alex's t-shirt into his hand, bringing the fabric to his mouth, but Alex closed her eyes. "If you become a stockbroker one day, I'll know why." Alex softly chuckled and drifted to sleep.
(5 AM)
"Alex?" Olivia ran a hand through her hair, taming it as she stepped out of the bedroom and rubbed the sleep from one eye. "Al—"
She stopped at the sight in the living room. Early morning sun peeked through the window, softly caressing the figures on the sofa. Noah slept against Alex's chest, still so small in her grasp. His wispy plume of brown hair at her cheek.
Olivia took her phone from her pocket and snapped a picture, capturing the scene that warmed her heart. It would act as proof the next time Alex doubted her parenthood.
(That night…)
It took over an hour to get Noah to sleep. All he wanted to do was play, but Alex had the magic touch. She came into Noah's room after 40 unsuccessful minutes, sat on the floor, and opened her arms to him. He ran into her embrace and she held him close as they nonchalantly carried on a conversation over his head; Alex talking about something she'd seen on TV as Noah's eyes slowly closed.
Why did Noah calm so quickly with her?
Sure, news channels, newspapers, and her books bored him to sleep, but that didn't explain every incidence. In Alex's arms Noah always calmed. In the midst of a bustling store, he silently watched people pass from the comfort of Alex's grasp. In movie theaters he didn't cry, just sat in her lap, attached to her like some primate baby, and she'd gently cover his ears when loud sounds came crashing from the speakers.
And in the precinct, with everyone coming up to greet him, in awe of the small ball of innocence Alex held, he just stared at them, much like Alex did. The two, perhaps, thinking similar thoughts, wondering why so many people leaned in, overtly grinning and making strange faces. Rollins and Carisi were the worst.
In bed Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex and pulled her close, pressing an ear to Alex's chest.
"What are you doing?" Alex smiled and softly said.
"Shh."
Steady thumps entered Olivia's ear, perfect and measured. She closed her eyes, following each soft beat to the end, herself drifting with each moment. Alex wrapped an arm around her, drawing patterns into her back with smooth strokes of her fingers.
This was why. Noah calmed to the unrushed rhythm and soothing cadence of Alex's heartbeat.
Olivia's grasp loosened.
"Liv?"