This was awful. Someone needed to explain to him how this was supposed to be relaxing, better for his health than being at home. As Jack sat on the porch step, and by porch, that was a loose term he wasn't sure accurately described where he was sitting, Jack considered all of his options. Going home made the most sense, but that also meant living under the microscope of Lou, Amy, and Tim, and boy, he was tired of that. They'd been pampering him for weeks after his heart attack, pampering he certainly didn't want and definitely didn't need. He was a grown man, and he certainly didn't need his granddaughters and ex-son-in-law watching his every move. Somehow, sitting on this rickety porch step in the middle of the Arizona desert was better than that.

Why was it so hot here? He didn't understand leaving Alberta for this. Sure, a little less snow and a little less of the extreme bitter cold Alberta got would be a welcome relief, but he really didn't understand snow birds, Northerners and Canadians who willingly left the winters to head south to this kind of heat. He hated it, sadly preferring the extreme cold to this. Cold, he could bundle up, and even with his arthritis, he welcomed that. Give him a warm fire any day, even a hot toddy on the nights he couldn't sleep. Yes, he could add warmth, but he was having a lot of trouble cooling off from this incredible heat. It seemed like half of Canada had followed him to Arizona based on the license plates he'd seen, and those were the ones who drove. Many, like himself, had flown. He was only here for a month and ready to throw in the towel. He had no idea how so many willingly did this each and every year, anywhere from four to six months of the year. Yes, no thank you to this. One year of doing this was more than enough.

He sighed and wiped the back of his neck. It was hot, and it wasn't even 11:00 in the morning yet. Going back inside his rental wasn't a great option because the air conditioner wasn't the best. Okay, it barely worked, but knowing now what he paid for the place, what did he expect. This place was a DUMP, and he only had himself to blame for that. He'd cancelled the reservation for what he was sure was a much, much nicer place, no question about it because that place had been booked by someone else, well, not just someone, Lisa.

Lisa.

He didn't want to talk about Lisa, which was easy here because he really wasn't talking to anyone. It's not like he knew anyone around here, which was good and bad. The days were lonely because he didn't know anyone or want to spend time getting to know people. The nights were lonely, and those lonely nights had his mind drifting to the person who had always been around to talk to and enjoy a glass of wine with most evenings. He didn't want to think about Lisa, something easier said than done, well, something he couldn't do. ALL of his thought seemed to focus on Lisa or really the fact that she wasn't here, that he'd killed that relationship. Jack sighed, knowing it was for the best, but convincing himself that was hard. Was it for the best?

While he'd been content with his widower lifestyle, he'd never expected to meet anyone like Lisa almost eight years ago. She'd come into his life, a breath of fresh air, with her beautiful smile, gorgeous eye, absolute kindness, her energetic spirit, and outright bold personality, almost challenging, no daring Jack to like her, the much younger, but extremely mature, competent, confident, savvy businesswoman, Lisa. He had too, liked her, that is, much more than he ever expected, much faster than he would have ever imagined too. In some ways, it seemed like just yesterday he was teaching her how to fly fish, but in other ways, it was almost hard to remember his life now without Lisa in it.

Except, that is exactly what he had to start doing, living his life without Lisa in it because he'd sent her away. It was best-for her, for him. She deserved better, not some geriatric heart attack patient who was on death's doorstep. He certainly didn't want a nurse, not for however much time he had left, and man, when Lisa tried to take care of you, well, it was hard to not feel smothered. He didn't need her for that. He just needed to be left in peace, alone, to finish out whatever short time he had.

Lisa needed to forget him and move on. She was young, so much younger than he was. He was a fool for even leading her on these last years. What an idiot to allow a woman in her 40's, her prime, to latch onto him now in his 70's. She was 49 now; he was 74. She was beautiful. He was old and arthritic. She could have any man she wanted, the only issue was making sure none were after her money. Jack certainly hadn't been, the opposite if possible. Her money had almost scared him away, the idea that their worlds were so different and that maybe she was too rich for his blood. The saying that opposites attract, well, whoever had come up with that must have been like Jack and found someone like Lisa, well, except without being on death's doorstep as he was. And, while on paper they were opposites, over the course of the last almost eight years, the two had discovered they were a lot more similar than originally thought. He knew he'd upset her, to put it mildly, but she would forget him and move on eventually. She had her exciting life in France, something she apparently wasted no time in returning to after their final blowup at the house. Lou had told him that Lisa was on a plane to France two days later, obviously trying to get information from Jack, but he'd refused to say anything, hoping his obvious silence was clue enough to his granddaughter that he wouldn't talk about Lisa.

No, Lisa would eventually be fine. Jack knew that. She was back in her favorite place, France, and she'd be fine once she got back to her jet-set lifestyle. They were definitely opposites there, and he was sure she'd eventually find her "Mr. Right" in one of her social circles. She still had half her life to live, and he wasn't about to get in the way of whatever she could find, but it wasn't going to be his sad self. She'd recovered from her divorce from Dan, stronger because of it, and this was different-they weren't even married, so he was sure she'd be fine, eventually. Hopefully she was enjoying her villa in France. Even Jack had to admit that sounded better than where he was now, and man, he never thought he'd admit anything about France sounded appealing to him ever again. Lisa would be fine. He would keep telling himself that.

He, though, well, he wasn't talking about how he would be because well, it didn't matter, plus he had no one to talk to anyway. He needed to get over this though because it was only making this horrible trip even worse. Jack knew that he needed to put this break up behind him, remembering the good times for what they were. It was hard for him to do that, and he had no idea how people just floated through relationship after relationship. He was having trouble getting over the only relationship he'd had since losing Lyndy. No way he would ever want to do this again. It was terrible. Letting Lisa into his life was something he hadn't seen coming at the time, but he wouldn't change it, even now with the pain it was causing him. They'd had a good run, almost eight years. Jack was sure he didn't have another eight years left in him, and he certainly wouldn't be looking for anyone else in his last few years. No, that's why he'd called it off with Lisa, the idea that anyone would be tied down to him to care for him in whatever time he had left. No thank you. He'd be fine on his own, and when his time came, well, the girls could handle things. They'd get the ranch, and he'd die alone as he'd always expected. By then, whenever it was, he was sure Lisa would hear about it, but he suspected she'd been deeply involved with someone her own age and would be just fine.

Jack stood and stretched, now the heat of the day soaking through his shirt. It was 11:30, finally time to have lunch. He wasn't really excited about that because lunch was the same every single day here, just like he pretty much had the same lunch back at home. If it wasn't leftovers, which it wasn't here because he wasn't doing much cooking, it was a turkey sandwich. That was a pretty standard lunch back at home, but here, every single lunch was tasteless. Lisa always made the best sandwiches back at home. He'd teased her about that, wondering why her sandwiches always tasted better than his. They used the same ingredients, but there was something she did that made them better. She always just grinned at him and said it must be the love she put into making them. Turkey, cheese, mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato-it wasn't like it was hard, but lunch here had been almost a drudgery. Dinner was usually a repeat of lunch, not to get him started on that. He'd ventured to the all-you-can-eat steak buffet a few times, and if he didn't care for it, you knew it had to be a pretty unappetizing restaurant.

He looked around at his accommodations before going inside, sighing as he shook his head. This place was depressing. Quartzite, Arizona, a couple hours west of Phoenix, desolate and remote, just as he'd wanted. It had sounded good when he'd re-booked his lodging, canceling the other property. Well, what sounded good in a description was obliviously not. This was one of many reasons he and travel did not mix. As his mind wandered, Jack caught sight of one of his neighbors outside at their grill staring back at him. He threw a polite wave to the oversized man, barely dressed, and Jack just sighed again.

Three more weeks. He still had three more weeks in this dump. He'd survived his heart attack for this?