I glared at the floating head before me. She was here. Eris. The architect behind the corruption of all those innocent Alicorns. The malevolent force of chaos and enmity. I cursed myself for not bringing the gun with me. I felt my anger return in full force, but I also had a clearer head than before. If she was to be defeated, cooler heads had to prevail. I inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Begin what?" I asked, arms crossed and giving her a glare.

Eris' smile only widened. "What? Didn't get the reference, boy? Ah, it makes no difference to me. I'm not like that foolish Discord from the show." My heart stopped. Eris laughed at my expression. "Did you seriously think that pathetic shield around your house would stop me?"

"What do you want, bitch!?" Dash shouted, flying up to face the floating head.

Eris shook her head, then blew. Dash was thrown against the wall, slamming into it with incredible force. "Whoo, you kiss your mother with that mouth? Now why would I tell you what I want? You'll have to discover that on your own. Not that I'll let you."

"Let them go back to Earth, Eris," I snarled. "They have nothing to do with this conflict."

"That won't happen," Eris grinned. "Your new human friends aren't going home. But…since I'm in such a good mood today, I'll give you one favor."

Light surrounded the five Pony mares and it was so bright that I had to shield my eyes against it. I heard screams of pain from them. "Stop this!" I called out in fear. "You're hurting them!"

"Bitch, please, that's hardly a tickle compared to what it could be really like," Eris said. "Besides, no need to look a gift horse in the mouth."

The light suddenly vanished. Looking back, I saw five human girls lying unconscious on the ground. I whirled on Eris. "Change them back! They can't survive in their human forms!"

She laughed. "Don't be so sure about that little tale that Obsidian Star told you."

"Don't you dare profane her name by speaking it!" I shouted. "You do not deserve to speak her name!"

She smirked. "Bit of a sore spot with you, I take it? No matter. My business here is almost done anyway. Be a dear and deliver one message, and one message only." Her eyes glowed even more, and a familiar sound came from it. Her voice deepened. There was no doubt she'd seen everything on my computer when, in a warped voice resembling that of a Goa'uld, she sneered, "Tell Sunset Shimmer thank you for releasing me."

The head vanished in a shimmer, and the torches relit themselves. However, the gate remained dormant. I ran up and put my hand on the now dead portal. I pushed against it futilely, then screamed, "SON OF A BITCH!" I turned around, leaning against the mirror and sliding down it.

Just then Celestia and the Mane Six rushed into the room. "I felt a wave of chaotic magic coming from-" she stopped, looking at the now clothed and unconscious humans. "What…happened?"

I looked up at her, anger burning through every fiber of my being. "Eris…she closed the portal and did this to them. They're not going anywhere. And worse…she knows about the show."

Fifteen minutes later, the Humane Five were awake and helped back to the meeting room. They told us that whatever Eris had done to them had caused excruciating amounts of pain as they were transformed from Pony to human. When Celestia ran over them with her magic, she told them that the transformation had stripped any magical abilities they once might have had in their Pony forms, making them normal humans, for all intents and purposes.

"Okay, so that begs the question as to how are they still alive?" I asked after Celestia finished. "Athena told me she had to change my body so that I could actually live in Equestria safely."

"I don't know," Celestia admitted.

"Without a normal human to compare, we may never know for certain," Twilight added. "You're not experiencing any shortness of breath or any other pain aside from what you're experiencing now, are you?"

Jackie, who'd somewhat become the de-facto speaker of the group of new humans, looked at the others. When they all shook their heads, she looked back at Twilight. "Ah'm startin' tah feel better mahself. It's just a dull ache now."

Twilight looked relieved at that. "Thank Celestia."

Celestia chuckled. "Don't thank me, Twilight, although I'm flattered." Her smile vanished as she turned to the five human women. "I am so sorry for what has happened to you. You will be given immediate accommodations within the palace and guards will be posted around you at all times."

"Um, with all due respect, yer Highness," Jackie said, turning to her, "but we ain't gonna just sit back and do nothin'. We might not have magic, but we've got somethin' you might not have."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "And what's that?"

"A human perspective," she replied. "Ah may be just a simple farm girl, but ah can't sit and twiddle my thumbs. Ah have to help. Ah can fight, cook, hell, ah even helped treat Jethro's wound when the doc was there."

"Yeah! I didn't come here for nothing!" Dash shouted, slamming her hand on the table. "Just gimme a club and I'll smash Eris' stupid head in! I'm a blackbelt in karate and I can fence, for crying out loud!"

"I'm not sure how my skills as a seamstress can compare to you, Miss Rarity," Trisha said, "but I've been working with needles ever since I could hold one. Surely there's something I can do with that."

"I can entertain the wounded Ponies!" Diane said in earnest. "I mean, laughter is the best medicine after all!"

"I don't know what I can do, but I want to…try and help," Shye said.

Celestia smiled widely, a tear in her own eye. "You five…are definitely special. It amazes me that in both our worlds, you became as close as you have now. Very well, we could use all the help we can get. Jackie, you said you can cook and have a bit of medical training?"

Jackie nodded. "Ah know plenty of vegetarian recipes, and Mac told me a bit about his trainin' as a medic."

"Yer Mac wanted tah study medicine?" Applejack asked incredulously.

Jackie chuckled. "Surprised me too."

"Very well," Celestia said. "We have plenty of cooks here, but Ponyville doesn't. I'm sure they would be too tired to care that you're a human."

"Whaddaya mean? Why would they care if ah'm human?" Jackie asked with a frown.

"Speciesism," I said bluntly, causing all the Ponies in the room to look down guiltily. "Jackie, they're a herd prey species in a world full of predators. Dragons, Griffons, Lycans, and more. Is it any wonder they'd be afraid of something not their own? Besides, Ponyville is more receptive to a human since I live there. Canterlot isn't."

"A fact I'm ashamed of, and one reason why I hoped to have Twilight become a Princess so she could begin changing Ponies minds. But that's not important right now." Celestia said. "Miss Jackie, I'm sure the Ponyville Hospital kitchen could use your help. Are you willing?"

"Willin' and able, yer Highness!"

"Glad to hear it." She then turned to Dash. "Miss Dashelle, you said you knew something called karate. Are you able to bring down an opponent without permanently hurting them?"

"I can bring an opponent down in ten seconds flat!" Dash exclaimed proudly.

"Not another one…" Applejack muttered, facehoofing.

"Are you confident in your ability to be a peacekeeper and keep Ponies from harming each other?" Celestia asked again.

Dash's confidence began to falter a bit. "I'm…not sure, but I can't just sit here and do nothing!"

"That's good enough for me," Celestia said. "I'll have our armorer see if we have anything that might fit you, but if not, what else can you do? I wouldn't want to send you to Ponyville without proper protection."

"Do you have a sword and shield that I can use?" Dash asked.

"Well, yes, but-"

"Then that's all I need." Dash interrupted Celestia. "I said I'm a good fencer. I can handle a sword."

Celestia bit her lower lip, considering. She took a deep breath after a while, and sighed. "Alright. I'll let the armorer know. But please don't harm any of my little Ponies if you can help it."

"I'll do my best!"

"Good." She turned next to Trisha. "How good are you at knitting?"

"Oh, your Highness, I can knit very well," Trisha replied.

"Good, because we'll need extra blankets in Ponyville," she said. "Think you can work on that?"

She nodded resolutely. "I can. Anything to help!"

"You can use my boutique, darling," Rarity added. "I have plenty of wool."

Celestia nodded, then turned to Diane. "Miss Diane, you said you wanted to entertain the wounded? I think that's a great idea. I'll have you escorted to the Ponyville Hospital. They're more understaffed than we are."

"Aye aye!" Diane saluted.

Celestia chuckled, then turned to Shye. "I take it that, like Fluttershy here, you're good with animals?"

Shye nodded. "Y-Yes, your Highness."

"How good are you with foals? Or children?" Celestia asked.

"Um…I have babysat a few times in the past…" Shye said.

"My reports say that there's an entire ward of fillies and colts in the Ponyville who've been injured who could use someone to help look after them," Celestia said. "Are you willing to help in that area?"

Shye's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh, yes please!" she said, any fear slowly vanishing.

"Thank you, Miss Shye," Celestia said. Standing, she looked at the five girls. "I wish I could send you home out of harm's way. I really do, and I wish the circumstances of your arrival in our world were better. I cannot order you to help us, but I am glad to have your help." She then turned to me. "Jethro, please forgive me, but I must ask more of you than I ever have before."

I stood and faced her, my wings spreading behind me. "Celestia, I won't lie, I'm scared beyond anything I felt for even you and your sister, but I'm a potential citizen of this country now. I can't go to my original world, so Equestria is my home now. I am at your service." I knelt before her reverently.

Zecora also took a knee. "Farasi might be where I was born, but Equestria is now my home. My skills are at your service."

Scarlet also knelt. "Whatever I can do to help, I will do so. I am at your service, your Highness." The five humans all got off their chairs and knelt as well.

Celestia's eyes watered at the display. She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with a kerchief. "Thank you, everyone." She cleared her throat then stood taller. "Please stand, all of you. For now, we need to figure out what Eris' plan is and what to do next."

"This isn't a television show, Celestia," I replied as I took a seat again. "This is real life. And she's not a moron."

Celestia grinned. "And neither are we."

Just then, I heard the flapping of two sets of wings, and a young-looking Phoenix landed in front of me, her eyes wide with what I could only assume was joy. An older Phoenix landed next to Celestia. I smiled back. "Eve!"

The young Phoenix leaped up and landed on my shoulder, nuzzling her cheek against mine, then squawking in joy. Shye was watching this in astonishment. "Oh my, I've never seen that kind of bird before."

"She's my pet Phoenix," I said, before turning to Philomena. "Philo, is she ready?"

"Kraawk!" Philomena replied, nodding her head for emphasis.

"Heh, you've raised her well," I said, bowing to the older bird. "Thank you, Philomena." Turning back to Eve, I said, "Eve, as happy as I am to see you, I'm afraid I can't take you with me right now. Something bad is happening that I need to take care of. When it's all over, I'll bring you home with me."

Eve shook her head, then pointed at me with her wing, then back at herself. "Raawk!" she said.

"She says she's coming with us," Fluttershy said softly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Raawk quawk!" Eve replied.

Fluttershy's eyes widened. "She…she's coming to protect…you."

"I believe you will find your Phoenix as stubborn as Philomena," Celestia said, reaching out to stroke her own bird affectionately. "As stubborn as her mother."

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Fine, but you behave, okay?" I said, poking Eve's beak. "Is that clear?" Eve nodded in understanding, and with that I turned back to the others. "Alright, so we have the beginnings of a plan. Let's begin, shall we?"

"I swear, if this turns into some kind of Balance thing and that Stardust Balance Pony shows up, heads will roll!" I growled as me, Zecora, Scarlet, the Mane Six and other Humane Five headed to the train station where the latest train prototype was waiting for us. Above us, Eve flew, acting something like a scout. If we were approaching a street with a riot on it, she'd fly back and alert us thanks to Fluttershy's own translation. The Mane Six flanked us as we walked through quieter neighborhoods to avoid the riots as best we could. I put my hand in my pocket, patting the pistol I'd confiscated from Sunset. Jackie had identified it as a Glock 22, commonly used by the police. There weren't many bullets left in it, but I felt safer with it.

Dash was armed with a short sword and a small shield, a fire in her eyes that I hadn't seen before. None of the other armor could comfortably fit her, but she insisted that she'd be fine.

"Who's Stardust Balance?" Twilight asked as we turned to head down another street.

"He's a human turned Pony from a My Little Pony fanfiction that you get into a romantic relationship with," I replied.

"Oh my," Twilight said with a blush.

"But that's not important right now," I said as we took another turn down a larger street. Thankfully, this street was deserted unlike the ones we'd had to travel down before. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the train station a few blocks ahead. "Double time it, let's move!" I shouted, running down the cobblestone street.

As we ran up to the train station, we were greeted by a small group of soldiers. One of them came up to me and saluted with his hoof, and I automatically saluted back. Eve landed on my shoulder as I did so. "The princess has ordered me and my soldiers to keep you guarded during your trip to Ponyville," the guard said in a professional voice. "There've been reports of Pegasi looters trying to divebomb at any train they see."

"My God…it's a fucking madhouse," I said.

The soldier nodded sadly. "Indeed, sir. Please hurry."

I nodded then turned to the others. "Let's move, people."

I let everyone in first, then headed after them. The soldiers kept a close guard on all of us as we were led into a car with blacked out and boarded up windows. Oil lamps were lit on every wall to illuminate the beds that Ponies normally sat at. Eve sat on my wounded shoulder, and I could feel the pain receding thanks to the warmth provided. When we were all seated, a soldier walked up to a small horn-like device poking out of the wall then spoke into it. "Conductor, we're all aboard. Let's move."

"Copy," a gruff sounding voice replied from the device. There was a loud hissing of steam from outside the train, and with a jolt, we were moving.

"Jesus!" Dash said, almost falling forward, "A little warning next time?"

"Calm your teats, human me," Rainbow replied with a frown.

"We aren't starting an argument in here," I interrupted them. "That's just what Eris wants. Her type of chaos isn't just random events like chocolate milk rain or cotton candy clouds. No, hers is the destruction of relationships."

Zecora leaned against me, kissing my cheek. "You are quite tense, love," she said tenderly.

I looked down, smiling at her. "Yeah, sorry." I leaned in and kissed her. "But can you blame me?"

"Ah still can't believe yer in a relationship with a zebra," Jackie said, staring at the display of affection between me and her.

"Somethin' wrong with that?" Applejack asked, frowning at her human counterpart.

"Well…ah guess not here," Jackie said. "Back home it wouldn't work."

Zecora nodded. "Jethro has told me such."

Shye smiled at the sight of my marefriend snuggling up close to me. "That's adorable," she said.

"Isn't it?" Fluttershy agreed.

"How the hell does that even work, anyway?" Dash asked, confused.

"Well, when a human man and a Zebra mare love each other very much," I began before Scarlet snorted.

"Love, uh, uh, uh, finds a way," Scarlet added in her best Jeff Goldbloom impression.

Dash blushed and looked away. "I did not need that image in my mind today," she groaned.

"Focus, everyone," I said. "We've got to focus on the plan. Everyone knows what we're doing, right?" There were nods all around. "Okay, but just to be sure, let's go over everything again. Now, for our trapped human friends here, you know where your assignments are, right?"

"Shye, Jackie and I are going directly to Ponyville Hospital!" Diane replied.

"I'll go directly to this Captain Shining Armor guy and ask for something to do," Dash said.

"I'll be heading to Rarity's boutique to help make extra blankets," Trisha said.

"You all have your personal notes from Celestia?" I asked the five humans. When they all held up sealed scrolls, hoofwritten by Celestia herself, I nodded. "Good." Turning to the rest, I said, "And the rest of us?"

"And the rest of us will stay together for our jobs," Twilight said.

The leader of the guards came up. "I can have some of my Ponies escort our human guests to their destinations."

"Thank you," I said. "I'd appreciate that."

"Not a problem, sir," he said.

Nodding gratefully, I turned back to the Ponies in the car. "First, we'll need to go to my home. I need to check on Gemini and Mica and make sure they're alright. Then we head to the Library. It's a long shot, but I need to know if the Elements of Harmony are in that reference guide."

"And what if they aren't?" Twilight asked nervously.

"Then, Twilight, then you put me into REM sleep, and I will use my Morphean abilities to their fullest extent," I replied. "My Morphean powers have grown in duration, but I don't think I'll be at my maximum potential. Even so, they're our best bet barring the Elements."

Twilight looked nervous. "But…what if that fails?" she asked.

"Right now, all we can do is react to whatever grand plan Eris has, if she has one," I said. "Just try and get some rest before we get to Ponyville, everyone. I have a feeling that we're not going to get much."

"That's a good idea," Twilight said, collapsing into the bed she'd taken. I watched as the other Mane Six and the Humane Five all lay down. I chuckled a bit when I noticed that the Humane Five had all chosen beds with their Mane Six counterparts. Shye immediately had her arms around Fluttershy, stroking her mane gently, Dash and Rainbow collapsed into their beds without a care, Jackie and Applejack lay next to each other, but I could hear whispers coming from them. Diane and Pinkie were whispering excitedly to each other, and Rarity and Trisha were both lying down in what could only be refined poses, Rarity in a Ponyloaf and Trisha in her best Sleeping Beauty pose.

Scarlet and Zecora both lay against me, their eyes immediately closed. Eve sat on my lap and gave me a worried look. Reaching down, I stroked her head gently. "Everything will be okay, Eve," I said softly. I looked up at the ceiling, exhaling as I closed my eyes. "Everything will be okay…"