It's never a good sign when one of the most powerful beings in the world, a practical goddess even, uses a four-letter word to describe a situation. Especially a goddess who existed in the world of a television show. A television show made specifically for children. A cartoon, no less. Now, I had heard Ponies in this world using expletives before. Hell, I'd heard Celestia and even Luna using the F-Bomb this past summer, but never had I heard Luna use it in such a tone as I had. Never had I heard it being said in that tone from anyone before then, and I'd heard Fluttershy swear.

Silence filled the room as Luna's accurate summary of our situation could be digested by everyone in the room. For what felt like an eternity, we all exchanged looks. It wasn't like we could add anything to that. She was, in fact, spot on.

However, someone had to eventually break the silence. And that duty, I felt, fell to me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my pocketknife. "Alright, hooves out you three."

The Unicorn guard looked at the knife and frowned. "What is that?" he asked.

With a flick of the wrist, my blade opened, gleaming in the light I was casting from my finger. "Blood test. We need to make sure you're not compromised."

Luna nodded in understanding and held out her own hoof. "Go ahead, my Knight," she said.

I gently gave her a small cut, and breathed a sigh of relief when her cut bled with the red of a mammal. She used a healing spell on it, then turned to her guards. The Pegasus mare stepped forward and held out her own hoof. "Far be it from me to deny my Princess and the word of a Knight," she said.

In a few minutes, it was all over. I had never felt more relieved to see red blood. With that out of the way, Luna locked her tower door, closed and pulled the shades on her window, then stood and walked in front of us. She turned, and in that moment, she was no longer Luna, my friend and fellow lover of the night. This was a Warrior Princess, and she wasn't no damned Xena. She was the strategist, the fighter, the destroyer of her enemies. Her eyes burned with a fire that sent shivers down my spine. However, I straightened and stood at attention. "As of this moment, everyone in this room has been drafted into the Equestrian Army."

I stiffened, standing at attention. The reactions in the room ranged from Rainbow's own hooves clopping together in anticipation to Ember's own begrudging acceptance, to Fluttershy's rushing over to me and clinging to me in abject terror. Gemini didn't look too happy about it, but wisely kept her mouth shut and stood at attention as well. Applejack had a stern and battle-ready expression on her own face, Twilight looked nervous but determined, Rarity had a similar expression, and Spike was next to her, standing protectively beside his crush. Pinkie Pie wasn't smiling, but had a frown on her face and her party cannon out. Mica looked ready for anything, and Scarlet and Zecora were at my sides, both as ready for a fight as they could be. Luna's two guards were at attention, saluting.

Luna continued. "Your drafts are only until this crisis is averted. We need everyone on the highest alert possible. A Changeling is a tricky creature. They can change into anycreature even after a single cursory glance. They can imitate voices, too. We have two objectives: finding as many allies in the castle as we can, and making sure none of them escape. Make no mistake: this will not be easy. We are possibly outnumbered, although we only know of at least two or three on the premises. Princess Ember, you have more knowledge of their tactics than we do. What can you tell us?"

Ember frowned and looked thoughtful. "Keep in mind that I'm only twenty-six, so my own knowledge is only from stories. If their queen is here, though, then, in no uncertain terms, we're in trouble. They are vicious when cornered, and their magic isn't like those of Ponies, or Dragons for that matter."

"So, we're royally screwed, eh?" Scarlet said.

I sighed. "If the episode I've seen is any indications, she'll probably have moved anyone she replaced to a hidden chamber or cave. What use is a dead source of love, after all?"

"That's one reason why they were so ruthless with us," Ember said. "Dad told me that our emotions are so volatile that we were dangerous to them."

"How the hell does that make sense?" Rainbow asked. Seriously, when did she start using Earth swear words? She's not a Dark Fae, so…what?

"Look here, Pony," she snarled, "that's just what my dad said. I don't know just how accurate his claims are, but I do know he has a good memory for war!"

"Your Highness, Rainbow, stop," I moved in between them, keeping them from starting to tear each other apart, "The moment we start fighting among ourselves is the time when we grow weaker and vulnerable to Dark Fae attacks."

As the two begrudgingly separated, Luna continued. "As much as I want to split into groups, the risk is too great. Hardly any of us are prepared for war, but we are all that Equestria has. My sister is being held captive, so we need to find more allies. First, I will teleport us directly into Princess Cadenza's chambers. Hopefully we will find Captain Armor among them. If they too have been compromised, we will teleport to the rooms of the delegates and ensure their safety. If they too are compromised I will raise the shield. When that happens, we will be exposed."

"Wouldn't it be better to raise the shield first?" Rainbow asked. "I get we wanna be sneaky and all, but we can't just let the Changelings escape!"

"Ah agree with Rainbow," Applejack said. "We need ta catch em in the net sooner rather than later, else they just might go after Ponyville."

"Assuming they haven't already," Scarlet said.

That brought a concerned silence from everyone. I felt Fluttershy trembling harder, and she whispered, "Angel…everycreature…"

I hugged her closer and stroked her mane. "They won't go after your animals," I whispered back, before turning to the rest. "They may be in Canterlot for all we know."

"Our priority right now is this castle," Luna said. "We've gathered not only every Princess in Equestria here, but we've gathered the delegates from many important nations all over the world. That might sound callous, but if those delegates are not safe, a world war may, in fact, erupt. Not even my sister and myself will be able to stem the tide of war." Luna turned to Ember. "Princess Ember, what do you know about this Fuego?"

Ember sighed. "He used to be close with Dad, I think he was one of his closest friends. But right now, all he wants is revenge."

"Why would he want that?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"My father banished him from the Dragon Lands for smashing many of our eggs one hatching season ten years ago," Ember said. "He swore revenge before leaving."

I frowned. "Well, that makes sense on his end, but why would the Dark Fae ally themselves with him? A war just causes less sources of food for them, and they're running low on sources of love."

"For the very same reason as this Fuego traitor," Luna concluded. "Revenge. Revenge against the Dragons." She turned to Ember. "Your father is a proud individual, is he not?"

Ember nodded. "Yeah, he really is."

"And the Dragons are a race of warriors, correct?" Luna asked again.

"We were, but have you seen the Dragon Lands lately?" Ember asked. "They aren't what they apparently used to be."

"Nopony visited the Dragon Lands in my day," Luna said.

"And nopony since," Twilight added. "Trust me, Jethro and I looked during our study sessions."

"Mom would tell me stories about times when she was young a thousand years ago," Ember said, "about how the Dragon Lands used to be prosperous and full of vegetation. When the Scalechangers tried to infiltrate and feed off of our love for our country and each other, we fought them off, but it destroyed the land in the process. At least, that's what she says. It was hard to say with her. Some of her stories are a bit far-fetched, looking back."

"I see," Luna replied, stroking her hoof thoughtfully. "But have your kind always been warriors?"

"We haven't had a true war ever since the Scalechangers," Ember said. "Dad's gotten more and more easily offended as he's gotten older, and this was the straw that broke the Dragon's back."

"So why infiltrate a council and try to bring all races together?" I asked.

"So we could ally ourselves against the Dragons and go to war with them," Luna concluded.

"It's not a world war they want…" Sunset said, "It's a fucking second Holocaust!"

"What, pray tell, is that?" Luna asked.

Twilight, Sunset and myself all shook our heads. "You don't wanna know," I said.

"But I do," Luna insisted.

"Extermination," Sunset said plainly.

The mood in the room dropped. Everyone in the room looked either sick or horrified. Fluttershy clung to me with all her strength, and part of me was glad I now had Earth Pony endurance since she'd most likely crush me if I was a normal human. I locked eyes with Luna, who searched mine for the truth of the definition. She took a deep breath after a few seconds, then turned to Ember. "That will never happen."

Ember nodded. "Good. I don't want to be the last of my kind."

"Don't forget about me," Spike, who'd been silent up until now, spoke up.

Ember looked down at him. "Oh yeah, guess there's you too. But you shouldn't be a part of this. You haven't even molted yet."

Spike stamped his feet on the ground. "My friends are in danger! What do you expect me to do? Hide?!"

Ember finally grinned. "Maybe you have some fire in you after all, little one."

"Okay, so we teleport to Cadance's room, then the delegates, do I have that right, Princess?" I asked.

"Correct, sir Knight," Luna said. "Are we prepared?" When we all replied in the affirmative, she raised her horn, concentrating hard. "Three…two…ONE!"

I closed my eyes in anticipation of the bright flash that usually came with magical teleportation. My stomach lurched as I felt my molecules come apart, then rematerialize in another room. She lit up her horn and saw two forms sleeping in a large canopy bed. Behind them, a large window faced south, giving a lovely view of the Everfree Forest and the stars.

Shining Armor was immediately up, horn at the ready, and to my relief, his magic was the rosy red color I'd seen in the show. Cadance was also up, her mane a mess as she looked around wildly. "Shiny? What's going on?"

"On your feet, Captain," Luna commanded. "Arm yourself. We are in grave danger."

Shining was immediately on his feet, saluting. "My Princess, what-?" He noticed the others behind her and me beside her. His brow furled. "Sir Jethro? Twily?"

I flicked out my knife. "Hoof up. Now. Dark Fae have infiltrated this Council and are trying to band us together to wipe out the Dragons. We need to be sure you're not an imposter."

To his credit, his confusion dissipated and he held out his leg, hoof up. I grabbed it and made a small cut. When his blood ran red, I turned to Cadance. "You too. You were the main target of the Dark Fae Queen in the show."

When I was assured she was who she claimed, I turned to Luna. "They're the real deal, my Princess."

Luna nodded, then turned to Cadance and Shining. "My sister has either been replaced by now, or she is being held hostage by the Changeling Queen."

"It's probably the latter," I said. "Dark Fae feed off of love, and Celestia's love for her little Ponies is very strong."

"My Knight, it could be the former as well," Luna replied. "Keeping their food source in a safe space would be easier for them."

I nodded. "Either way, she's been compromised. The guards around her door aren't real ones. Their magic told me that. And…I pretended to be visiting Celestia for some nighttime fun, and they acted like I had been there before. They may be good liars, but so am I."

"I still can't believe you said those things," Twilight shuddered.

"We got the information, didn't we?" I asked. "Point is, we need to get armed and ready for a fight."

"And we must make sure that the delegates themselves are not compromised," Luna added.

Cadace was by Luna's side. "I can teleport half of us," she said.

"Nay, my niece," Luna said, "This must be done all at once to ensure our continued safety."

Shining had quickly retrieved his own armor and a large sword was strapped by his side. Any source of exhaustion was gone from his face, and to be honest he looked ready to kick some Dark Fae ass. "I am yours to command, my Princess," he said, saluting her.

Luna nodded. "Everyone prepare yourselves. I only have one more mass teleportation left within me."

In another flash, we appeared in a large but darkened hallway. There were no guards present anywhere, and that sent off more alarm bells in my head. Luna turned to us. "I teleported us near to the entrance to the hall where the delegates are sleeping. Follow me." She began walking down the hall, and the rest of us followed suite. Just before we approached a corner, she held up a hoof to stop us. She turned and pointed to me and Shining, motioning us forward. The two of us silently walked to her side and looked past the corner towards another hallway entrance. In fact, it was the same hallway entrance I'd passed with my friends on the way to see Celestia only a half hour or so earlier.

In front of the hallway, I saw the same guards from before standing at attention. They didn't move for a while, and just as Luna was about to call out to them, the Unicorn one turned to the other Pegasus guard. "How long do we have to do this? Our Queen already has eyes on the Pony Princess."

The other guard whirled on the first one. "Shut up! The walls have ears, you fucking moron!"

"I'm just saying, what are we just guarding those others for? Why not replace them?"

"Queen's orders. You know we don't question them, so stop worrying, Thorax."

So…that's Thorax, huh? Weird to meet him already, but perhaps we can use this to our advantage. Luna, Shining and myself exchanged a glance of worry. On the one hand, I was relieved that the delegates themselves weren't replaced, but I was still worried about what the Dark Fae had planned for them. Maybe they were, indeed, hoping for a war with the Dragons and wanted to steer the council towards a certain conclusion. But if that was the case, why wouldn't they just replace them?

When we returned to the others, Luna whispered, "The guards are Changelings, but it appears they have left the delegates alone for the time being."

"I know one of those Dark Fae. The one impersonating a Unicorn guard," I said. "He's not like the rest. Or at least, not in the show."

"All Scalechangers are the same," Ember snarled. "They need to be dealt with severely."

I turned on her and stuck my finger on her chest accusatorily. "Then perhaps I should just assume that all Dragons are war hungry beasts who breathe fire and cause nothing but death and destruction? Because I know an amazing little drake who is anything but." I turned her head forcefully towards Spike. "This young Dragon is nothing like that. Sure, he's been raised by Ponies his whole life, but what does that matter? He doesn't want war any more than you or I do. Should I judge him or you by Dragon stereotypes? Because assuming anything about a race makes an ass out of you and me. Understand?"

The possible future Dragon Lord looked stunned at my sudden forwardness, and I had to admit I was a bit surprised by my actions too. We stared at each other for a few moments before she straightened. "Don't expect me to help when that Scalechanger betrays you."

"Duly noted," I said before I turned to Luna. "My Princess, request permission to subdue the Pegasus imposter and make contact with a possible future friendly?"

Luna shook her head. "No. At least…not alone." She turned to Shining Armor. "You go with him. Knock out the Pegasus changeling. Jethro, when you subdue the other one, retreat back here and head into this room." She pointed to a closed door on the other side of the hallway.

"Yes, your Highness," I replied.

Just as I was about to head out, she put a wing around my arm and turned me back towards her. With worry in her voice, she asked, "Sir Jethro, can you guarantee success with convincing that Changeling to join our side?"

"All I need to do is offer him something in return," I replied.

"And what's that?" Luna asked.

I smiled. "Friendship."

She sighed, then nodded. "Very well. Go."

"Hold on," I said. "We need a new password."

"Password?" Luna asked.

"In case when we come back you've been replaced," I explained. "And I have one they won't be able to guess. When I ask you 'When does the narwhal bacon?' you answer with 'Midnight.' It's something from Earth that no Dark Fae could ever guess. Got it?"

Luna nodded. "A wise precaution."

"I saw it in an episode of My Little Pony once," I said. "Now then, Captain? Let's get a move on."

Shining and I looked at each other, nodded, then strolled over towards the guards. Upon seeing us, they stood more to attention, impressing me with their blending in skills. They'd make great spies, a random part of me thought, but I put the idea out of my head for the moment as I approached the two Dark Fae, smiling at them. "At ease, you two," I said.

"What are you doing up this late, sirs?" the fake Unicorn played by Thorax asked. If he was nervous, he didn't show it.

"Ah, just making some rounds," Shining said.

"That's what he's up to," I said. Then a random idea popped into my head to confirm that they were indeed Dark Fae. I began to imagine the nights I'd spend in bed with Zecora. I forced the lust and love into the forefront of my mind, then watched for their reactions. I held back my grin when Thorax very slightly reacted. "I'm just out for a walk to try and clear my head."

The Pegasus, however, looked suspicious. "I suppose we all need that from time to time," he said.

I continued bringing all my feelings of love and lust for my Zecora to the surface of my being. "Oh yeah. Being surrounded by so many gorgeous mares during a sleepover can get a guy really stiff, for lack of a better word. Especially when you're one of the only guys there. So I went out to stretch my legs and met Shining."

I could feel Shining tense up beside me, but the two Dark Fae seemed to lower their guards slightly. "Aaah…that makes sense," the Pegasus said.

"Nopony's been down here aside from us, right?" Shining asked coolly.

"None, Captain," Thorax replied.

"Good," he said, right before his horn glowed and he fired a rose-colored bolt of energy directly at the Pegasus' head. The Dark Fae flew back, falling in a heap onto the floor..

Acting immediately, I caught Thorax in my magic and pulled him away back down the hall towards my companions. Shining brought the other unconscious Dark Fae back with him. The moment we returned to the group and exchanged the code phrase, I walked into a nearby room after confirming that it was empty, then cast the Cone of Silence spell around the room. I pushed Thorax up against the wall as the panicking Dark Fae thrashed about. I drew my sword and put it against his neck. He froze, eyes wide in fear. "You know this style of blade, do you not? Lycan forged in the heart of a volcano, meaning it's a lot more deadly to a Dark Fae than anything a Pony can come up with. Surrender to me, Thorax, and I can guarantee you something that you've never been able to get in all your time in Chrysalis' hive."

Thorax finally dropped his disguise, and I was surprised by the differences I saw. For one, the eyes. Thorax's eyes, unlike how they were in the cartoon, were actually more like those of a Pony than anything. No multifaceted lenses or even a single-colored eye, which made absolutely no sense to me since they were more like bugs in nature. Then again, I was reminded that Chrysalis had eyes that were different, but I always chalked that up to her being a queen. In that moment, I wondered if I was wrong about that.

Thorax was a quadruped like a Pony as well, but I didn't see holes that went through his chitlin completely. Instead, there were pockmarks in his body, miniature craters all through his form. His ears were small slits poking out of his head, which were pinned back in terror. His wings, which matched the colors of his eyes, were buzzing in a way that reminded me very much of insects. His horn was curved back, and appeared sharper than even those of the sharpest one I'd seen on a Unicorn anywhere.

He had no fangs coming out of his mouth, but I could see two sharp canines in his mouth. It made even less sense to see that then it did to see his more normal looking eyes. The chitlin on his back, unlike the normal black I saw, also matched his eye and wing color. There was a fin sticking out from his head right where the withers would be.

The moment the other Dark Fae was unconscious, his disguise vanished, revealing an identical creature with dark blue wings instead of Thorax's own aquamarine ones. Thorax looked at his companion, then back at me. "How…how'd you know my name?" he asked, and I noted the change of voice. Unlike how I'd heard it in the show, his voice was slightly warped just like the one Chrysalis used in her first appearance. I couldn't think of the effect it was, but hearing it come from a normal scared Dark Fae was confusing.

I cleared my throat and removed the sword from his neck, but I didn't let him out of my magic yet. "Your name is Thorax. You have an older brother named Pharynx, which doesn't make sense since you're more insectoid than mammalian and are born in hatcheries. Ever since you were hatched, all you've ever wanted was a friend, but you've never been able to do so since you live with Queen Chrysalis. You're more of a free thinker than the drones you work with, but you're too scared to do anything or risk Chrysalis' anger. Am I getting it right so far?"

Thorax's ears perked up. "Wait…that broadcast that Eris showed us was true?"

"I can offer you a place where you can have an opportunity to make friends," I continued without answering, slowly lowering him and releasing him from my magic. "Trust me, if Ponies can accept me and my marefriend Zecora as a friend and ally, I don't see why they couldn't accept you too. All you need is to help us. No one wants a war. Please help." I held out my hand.

Thorax looked at me, then at the hand, then back at me. He looked very conflicted, but I saw his hoof reach up to my hand very slowly. After a few hesitant pauses, he finally put it in my hand. I shook it and smiled at him. "You really can get me to find a friend?" he asked.

"Meet your first one," I said, pointing at me. "Hi. I'm Jethro Bethridge, human being from the planet Earth."

Thorax finally smiled, and despite his somewhat alien appearance, he did look genuinely happy. "Hi. I'm Thorax, and I'm a Fae."

"Oh, you actually call yourselves Fae?" I asked.

"Yeah. I don't know where other races got those names for us," he said. "We used to be called something else, but the Great Helper said that the name Fae suited us better."

"As fascinating as a history lesson is," Luna said as she approached, looming threateningly over Thorax, "we need information."

"My Princess is right," I said, looking at Thorax. "We need to know just what your Queen is planning. Does it have to do with this council joining and wiping out the Dragons?"

His ears pinned back. "If I do tell you, I'll be an outcast from my hive. I'll be alone. Can I request asylum in Equestria?"

Luna frowned. "That depends on the veracity of your information."

I stood and faced Luna. "Luna, please trust me when I say that the Thorax I saw in the show is actually one who can be trusted. He wants a friend, and I'm willing to let him have that chance. He's a person too, for lack of a better word, so let's treat him like one. You gave me a chance, and you'd never even heard of my kind."

Luna stared at me with a hard expression. She finally sighed. "You have a big heart, Jethro Bethridge. I just hope that someday, it does not come back to bite you."

"I've tried my best to be as discerning as possible," I said. "Hmm…maybe I could take a lesson out of one of the My Little Pony fanfics and have you or Celestia help tutor me on Pony body language."

Luna smirked. "That would be a wise precaution, yes. But for now, we must make haste." She looked past me at Thorax. "Thorax, was it? We need to know what your Queen's plan is. Nocreature wants a war."

Thorax still looked hesitant, but finally nodded. "You promise to be my friend?" he asked, turning to me.

I nodded. "You're a good Fae, Thorax. I'd love to be your friend. But my Princess is right, this is a matter of grave importance. Please tell us what you know."

And so finally he did. And it turned out we were right. Chrysalis did indeed want revenge on the Dragons, but it was for nearly wiping out her entire race. Every Fae knew the story, at least her side of it.

Apparently, there were once two types of Fae, High Fae like the Queen and the drones, otherwise known as just Fae. She was one of the High Fae at the time, barely out of her eggshell when, in her version, the Dragons invaded their land, decimating it and killing thousands of innocent Fae. So, the High Fae launched a counterattack on the Dragon Lands, but none returned. Chrysalis was the last High Fae alive and when she was old enough to be told the story, swore to rebuild her own civilization and take revenge on the Dragons. Ember, of course, denied that as a complete load of bull, but I glared at her, telling her to be quiet.

After that interruption, Thorax continued. It only partially surprised me that the Fae Queen was immortal, but I said nothing and kept listening. The land of the Fae was dying, and the sources of love were dwindling. They needed a mixture of both normal food and love to survive, it seemed. Even so, the Queen was cruel and would severely punish any drone for simple mistakes. From what Thorax described, Chrysalis was, at best, an extremely abusive mother.

When one of her Fae drones intercepted a letter headed towards the Dragon Lands, Chrysalis made a plan. She would pose as one of the Dragon representatives and use a Dragon ally she'd made in a scheme to get this council to repel the Dragons.

"I know I've no right to ask this," he said in conclusion, "but despite all the cruel things she's done to us, I still don't want to see anything bad happen to the Queen."

I frowned. "You're right, you do have no right to ask that. Listen, Chrysalis is trying to start a war when she should be trying to find a way to replenish your love supply. I've seen her plenty of times in the show, and her desire for revenge will always win out against her duty as Queen to help your kind. I cannot promise anything."

He nodded and sighed. "I understand."

"I'm assuming she's disguised as Ember," I said.

Thorax nodded. "She is."

"So why is her disguise so poor?" I asked. "Dragon females aren't that curvy."

Before Thorax could answer, the door to the room exploded inward, shattering into a thousand pieces and sending most of us scrambling for cover. Luna, however, had acted fast and put up a dark blue shield around the group. Cadance had also done the same, putting a secondary shield around the interior of Luna's.

I whirled around, sword drawn as I faced the now shattered door. The curvier version of Ember walked in, purposely swaying her hip as she did and with a very seductive look in her eyes and a grin on her face. "So…this was where you were hiding," she sneered. She locked eyes with me and smirked. "Mmm…I take it you really like what you see, don't you, human?"

The real Ember stepped forward with claws extended. I did the same as did Gemini and Mica along with Luna. I glared at her. "Hello, Chrissy," I snarled.

Her smile vanished. "That's Queen Chrysalis to you, fool."

"Yeah…I don't fucking care, Syphilis," I said, blatantly stealing an insult for her from another fanfic. "Now then, drop the damned disguise so I can beat you senseless."

She only chuckled as she stepped in the room, flanked on either side by two presumably fake Unicorn guards. "You're in no position to bargain. Now surrender."

I pretended to ponder that. "Hmm, let's see: Bearers of Harmony, two actual Princesses, and a Dragon woman powerful enough to kick your ass to the moon and back ten times," I snarked. "I'd say you're the one who should surrender."

"Think again, human," she sneered. "You're stuck in here with me." Her eyes glowed red and she held out her arms. A bright green ring of fire surrounded her and shot up, breaking through the ceiling and sending out a wave of wind that shoved us all back. Her form behind the wall of flame began to twist and morph in a way that surprised even me. I stood at the front, weapon at the ready. But I wasn't prepared for what I saw when she finished returning to her presumable natural state. She smirked when she saw my stunned reaction. "I take it you like what you see, human? And yes, this is my normal form before you ask."

I couldn't believe my eyes. It just didn't make any sense. I blinked a couple times rapidly, just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, but she stood there still, grinning at me.

But no matter how many times I tried to rationalize what I was seeing, the truth was staring me square in the face. Chrysalis' natural form was bipedal.