Day 463

After my acupuncture session, I felt really good for a couple of days, then I had a couple of not-great days, and by the 7th morning, my morning sickness was back with a vengeance.

As the alarm went off, I just laid in bed, unable to move, even blinking was nauseating. I was back to tiny sips of ginger ale and saltine crackers. Walter was so upset that as I lay there in the semi-darkness, he called Toby, even though he and Happy were planning to leave for a weekend getaway. But like a true friend, he arrived at the house in record time.

By the time Toby walked through the door, I was in a fetal position, moaning, a bucket next to the bed. Toby had just missed the morning show, a fact for which both of us were grateful. Walter was just beside himself over my misery. "Why don't you just take her back to the acupuncturist?" Toby asked.

"And waste money to do something that I could easily do for her, now that I've seen the technique?" The moment the question was out of his mouth, he had a lightbulb moment. All he needed to do was go to the acupuncturist's office and offer to purchase a set of needles from her, then he could relieve my pregnancy-induced nausea himself. Or could he purchase some from Amazon?

"This does not seem like one of your best moves, 197."

"Do you have a better idea?" Walter asked as he texted Allie to see if she could come over and stay with me while he was gone.

"Actually, yes, I do. The one I just suggested."

Walter just continued texting Allie. "If you're going to do this, I'm going with you. If you tick off a woman with needles, who knows how much trouble you'll get into. I want this baby born with all of its father's body parts intact."

Walter made that noise in the back of his throat that said the time for talking was done, he was taking action. Allie showed up at our front door just as Walter flung it open, on his way to the acupuncturist's office. Toby tipped his hat to Allie as he followed Walter to the car, determined not to be left behind. Seeing the startled look in Allie's eyes, "I'll explain just as soon as I can." Toby told her as he rushed by.

I'm not entirely sure how much time passed before Walter and Toby returned. But return they did, eventually, without acupressure needles. Is it terrible to admit that I was a little bit relieved? But what they did have was a story for Toby to tell and Walter with a new skill, acupressure. Which he immediately started to use on me as Toby prattled on.

I demanded that he tell the story again from the beginning, once under Walter's more than capable hands, my nausea evaporated. Toby, ever appreciative of a captive audience, started again from the top.

Walter speeds to the acupuncturist's office, once parked, he barges in the door, pushing past the receptionist, bellowing the acupuncturist's name, "Emily!" as he heads straight for the treatment room. It seems as if luck was on Walt's side. Walter gave Toby a look. "Yes, yes, I know, you don't believe in luck, even if you are Irish. **Ahem**," Toby started again. "It seems as if luck was on Walt's side, Emily, the acupuncture expert, was in the treatment room and her last patient had left only minutes before. As Walt flung open the door, he demanded a set of acupuncture needles for use on his wife.

"I remember you, Mr. O'Brien. I treated your wife a few days ago. I thought she was feeling better."

"She was. But she isn't anymore. That's why I need a set of needles, so I can treat her again and get her symptoms under control."

Nicer than she ought to be considering the situation, Acupuncturist Emily told Walt, "I can't just give or sell you the needles. You need years of training with a master practitioner and then years of practice under the tutelage of that master. Or you could just bring her in for more treatments. That would certainly be the easiest method for assisting your wife."

Walt, ever the charmer, informed Patient… (get it patient? Toby chortled at his own hilarity.) Patient Acupuncturist Emily that the easiest method for treating his wife was for her to give him the needles so he could perform the treatment. "I have a 197 IQ. I have an eidetic memory. I don't need years of training. I only care about relieving Paige's morning sickness. I saw which needle you placed where and in what order when we were here a few days ago. I know exactly how to do that. I don't need to do anything else."

"I'm sorry, Mr. O'Brien, even if that was the case, there are legal implications to allowing an untrained practitioner to practice, no matter how high his IQ."

Walter pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration no doubt to stop himself from saying something you, his lovely bride, would regret for him. "Acupuncture is just magical thinking with no basis in science."

Patient Acupuncturist Emily is losing her patience at this point and I hadn't even said anything yet! "If that's the case, then why did you bring your wife to me?"

"I was so desperate to help her, I was willing to try anything."

"And did this anything work?"

"Yes!"

"Then what's your problem with bringing her back for me to treat her? Why are you so determined to do it yourself?" Now you know and I know that Walt and his god-complex are huge control freaks, so it's not surprising to us that he would want to administer the treatment to you himself, but Acupuncturist Emily doesn't know old Big Brain like we do.

"It's a placebo effect," Walter argued with her.

"What if the placebo is me and her confidence in my knowledge and not the needles?" Oh, I thought she had him stumped for a moment, but good old Walt had one in his back pocket I didn't see coming.

"If necessary, I'll figure that out too."

Acupuncturist Emily finally let a bit of her temper show, "Why are you so being so stubborn, Mr. O'Brien? I'm more than willing and able to help her."

After she asked that question, he just kind of deflated, all the fight went out of him and he sank onto a stool in the procedure room. That simple question was where Walt got stuck. In the "why". In the emotions, in the fact that he loves you so damn much that he does things that make as little sense to him as quantum mechanics makes to a kindergartener. I knew it was finally time for me to step in.

With a charming smile and a tip of my hat, I spoke. "I apologize for my friend's behavior, but if you'll indulge me for a moment." Acupuncturist Emily tapped her foot impatiently but nodded her consent. "Walter can basically do anything that he sets his mind to because his mind is so big and brilliant. But dealing with Paige's severe morning sickness is something that he has zero control over and he hates it. He hates it because he loves her so much he would literally give his life for her. And he can't do anything to help her. And if there's anything a fellow genius hates, it's feeling helpless. So although he's asking in completely the wrong way, I'm asking you for a little understanding of his situation and if there's anything, anything you can do to help Walt feel a little less helpless." I smiled at Acupuncturist Emily, I had her eating out of my hand. "And also if you wouldn't mind not calling the police, that would be great too."

Acupuncturist Emily, of course, was completely charmed by my words and Walt's big brown puppy dog eyes. She sighed and smiled slightly. "How about this, Mr. O'Brien, I'll teach you some acupressure techniques to relieve morning sickness symptoms," She looked at him sternly, "but bring her in or call her medical provider if these techniques don't help." I elbowed Walter in the ribs and he startled, but then nodded his agreement to her terms. "Because the thing that I have learned about you in this very strange encounter is that the depth of your devotion to your wife is unmatched in my experience, and brings its own energy to any work you will do with her and she needs that." She paused and looked Walter up and down. "I think you do too."

Satisfied that Walter's theatrics had been laid to rest, she gestured for Walter to follow her. "Let's do the acupressure training in my office."

"May I come too?" I asked her.

"Do you have a pregnant wife as well?" she asked.

"No, but I am a Harvard-trained psychiatrist and genius behaviorist. I just want to observe."

Acupuncturist Emily rolled her eyes, "Fine, but if you give me attitude I'm charging him double for the irritation."

"You have no idea how little of an incentive that will be for me to be on my best behavior."

Walter spent the rest of the morning learning correct hand placement and pressure for relief of various pregnancy discomfort symptoms. Once Acupuncturist Emily was finished, Walt practically ran out of there with his hair on fire to get home to you, I had to stop him to remind him to pay the receptionist on the way out.

Now that I was feeling better and able to send Toby and Allie on their way, I had a few minutes alone with Walter before Ralph would get home from school.

"Will you give me another session?"

Walter looked concerned, "Is it not relieving your nausea?"

"No, it's nothing like that." I took his hands in mine and placed his fingertips on my wrist. "It's just that you've barely touched me since I've been so overwhelmed with morning sickness. I have barely wanted you to touch me, even though at the same time I crave it." I could tell the paradox of my words confused him. Walter did continue moving his fingers through the pattern the acupuncturist had taught him though.

I moaned a little at each touch. Walter smiled as understanding slowly dawned on him. Pretty soon his touches had absolutely nothing to do with acupressure, and I was completely okay with that.

Author's Note:

I do not have personal experience with either extreme morning sickness/nausea or acupuncture. Every aspect of that part of the story is based on my own internet research and a fertile imagination. If you are familiar with either and feel that I have mischaracterized an important aspect of pregnancy, please send me a Private Message with your thoughts and suggestions. I don't promise that I will change the story, but I will read and give careful consideration to your thoughts.