Chapter 8: "All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them." — Erma Bombeck

He was fucked.

The only feasible car arrangement on the way back, out of all possibilities with Butch, Boomer, Bubbles, Buttercup, and Mike, he had to end up in the car with her. Alone.

Blossom had turned stone cold since Brick opened his big mouth back at the party. In all honesty, he just has an irresistible charisma, a sharp mind and a fast tongue.

The joke wrote itself, sue him for making women cum.

He blinked to his side, where a dangerously quiet Blossom Utonium sat, sternly holding the steering wheel. The man gulped. She'd not uttered a word to him since the remark to whatshisface, and despite playing it off with a polite, awkward chuckle, quickly changing the topic of conversation to a outrageously mundane topic. All the stunned (though a couple of men were doing their best to contain their laughter) group mentally agreed to, and she'd not spoke since then.

Not to be dramatic, but if it wasn't for their superpowers Blossom probably would have driven the car off the road and killed them both.

"Hey." Blossom broke the silence, making Brick perk up, "Are you tense?" She asked in a velvety tone, without taking her eyes off the road. The man blinked in confusion, wondering what tricky question was this, "You should relax. Lay down in the seat a bit."

Brick squinted, carefully studying her moves, "... what?"

"Oh, please." She insisted, turning on the radio, "Don't be like that, I'm not that bad of a driver."

The man fearfully complied. A relaxing, jazzy beat started playing. At first, Brick simply stiffly laid back on the seat without taking his eyes off her, but as the beat played on, he felt the muscles on his back slowly relax and accommodate to the leather back seat.

Living past 25 really takes a toll on your body.

He sighed, "Ah yes, that's nice."

"Is it?" Blossom's whisper sounded like a lullaby.

"Yes..." He sighed, laying his head back. The road back to Townsville was rather long and lonesome, "We were up so early... That's nice."

Blossom nodded, "Good."

SCREEEEECH!

Even with Chemical X enhanced senses, Brick had no time to react to the pain that caved his chest.

"Oooof!" Whatever air he had in his lungs was pushed out by his seat belt before he thrown back to the seat.

He should've seen that coming.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" Blossom's yell was as loud as the screech that had sent Brick flying back and forth, "HOW COULD YOU HUMILIATE ME LIKE THAT!?"

The man grimaced in pain, "You?" Brick spelled out, "All I did was say I helped you release a year's worth of oxytocin! If anything your frat boy ex should feel humiliated!"

Blossom hang her mouth open in shock, "He was not a frat boy! I, I didn't date a frat boy!" She shouted, punching the car seat, "He just had a lot of friends that were in frats, he was just networking!"

Brick groaned, holding his chest, "Getting a bit off track here, babe." He coughed.

Blossom gave Brick a glare that made his life flash before his eyes. Instead of giving Brick death's sweet embrace, Blossom shut her eyes with a groan, throwing herself back in the driver's seat.

"You're so lucky people have seen us leave the party together."

Brick widened his eyes, "What's that supposed to mean!?"

Blossom exhaled, resting her head on the head rest. She took a deep breath, and went to start the car, "You wouldn't understand."

Immediately, Brick put his hand over Blossom's on the car wheel, "And that? What is that supposed to mean?" He inquired, "I wouldn't understand? Because I've not been a parent for the last 13 years? Yeah, I'm new at this. Not exactly my fault, is it?"

Now it was his turn to be mad. Was there any reason to bring it up when Blossom had just given him a death threat? No, but her remark rubbed him the wrong way.

"No. Not that." Blossom glared at him, "Being a mom."

Brick threw his arms up, "That's just what I said! Sorry I can't be a normal parent, I don't know how this shit works, I'm not used to only making PG-13 jokes around adults!"

"Not a parent!" Blossom barked, "A mom!"

Brick grimaced in confusion, "That's just the female counterpart of a father!"

Blossom rolled her eyes.

She could take the time to explain Brick moms aren't just parents, nor just women, let alone people. When you're a mother you belong to motherhood, that's all you are, and if you want anything else besides that, you are an awful mom. If you are a single mom, you might be a homewrecker because why couldn't you keep a father figure around? Moms also don't have ex-boyfriends, let alone orgasms. In fact, moms aren't sexual creatures - unless when they are into another pregnancy. Sex, romance and pleasure are for the irresponsible single women with no families.

...but this wasn't Brick's fault. Blossom had put herself in the "potential homewrecker" single mom role when she cut him off Jacque's life, even if she fully didn't know what she was signing up for at the time.

If we were being petty here, she could be equally bitter and throw in his face that he'd very selfishly broken a promise and essentially drove her to cutting him off. Not that it'd make a difference.

Blossom closed her eyes, and exhaled.

"Let's get back to Townsville, this car is giving me claustrophobia."

Jacquotte had never been so grateful for noise cancelling ear phones.

Uncle Boomer had begun playing acoustic guitar to her cousins - and have done so for the entire ride home, despite Mike's several attempts for him to stop. Each time her cousins would start bawling, and Mike was forced to let the man resume just to shut the toddlers up for five more minutes or so Then, Mike would ask Boomer to stop again... Rinse and repeat.

Despite the silence (in her head, at least), Jacquotte was not relaxed, the teenager was painfully aware of her every muscle, wondering if her "new powers" would kick in randomly.

Also, she had just met the devil, and he was her grandpa.

Jacquotte felt a nudge in her arm, and looked over to see Michelle's nervous smile.

"What?" She asked, pushing the phone off one ear.

Michelle pressed her lips together, "Do you remember the plan...? Make the boys stop being gross about your mom?"

"Oh. Oh, sh- yeah, totally! The plan." Jacquotte stuttered. She'd forgot all about that after making Chance Harrington levitate in the air with her mind, "...Anyone said anything gross about Blossom? In the class group chat? I mean, I didn't check my phone, sorry. And I blacklisted 'Stacy', so I can't see if anybody made that joke again."

Michelle glanced back at her phone, "No..."

Jacquotte exhaled, "Well! Then it worked-"

"Not about your mom."

Jacquotte squinted, "What do you mean?"

Michelle bit her lip, "Well. Jennifer's sister has a cousin in high school and she was with Betty, Amanda, Natasha because they were with their sisters, Samara, Kathleen and Kayleigh when Jennifer's sister's cousin saw your dad because Georgine's step-dad's brother-in-law son-"

"Just get to the point, bro."

Michelle squinted an eye in anticipation, "Ya ever heard of a DILF?"

"D..." Jacquotte confused grimace dissipated. She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I swear to God."

"Dude, you have a good-looking family."

Jacquotte exhaled, suddenly wishing she had Chance nearby... she needed to punch something.

"...oh my God, Elizabeth's mom is such a bitch."

Jacquotte opened an eye, "What?"

"Oh! Sorry! I just got a message from Elizabeth. You know, Broccoli's friend." Michelle explained, holding her phone up.

"...the little girl!? The blonde one that went feral because of the sugar?"

"Yup! She keeps telling her mom she doesn't want to be the Princess from Frozen, she likes Moana! And she's so right! Who doesn't want to hop on a boat and hang out with a demi-God?" Michelle frowned, furiously typing on her phone, "Her parents didn't like the new words we taught her today."

Jacquotte slapped her forehead, "So your new best friend is what, five!? How's she writing texts!?"

Michelle shrugged, "Text-to-speech and lack of parent supervision? Plus, she's only my second best friend."

" ...aw, thank-"

"Broccoli's first."

"Fuck off!"

"Michelle!" Bubbles turned to the girls' seat with one of the twins on her lap, "Not in front of them!" She hissed.

Boomer looked over from his seat next to Bubbles, still playing the acoustic guitar, "God knows I had to hold myself back the whole day!" He chuckled, in a singsong voice that made Bubbles giggle. Mike groaned from the driver's seat, throwing the blonde wannabe artist a dark glare. Boomer whipped his head with a golden retriever smile, "Right, Mike!"

Mike sighed, "Sure."

"Daddy, are we there yet!?" One of his twins screamed at the top of her lung towards Mike's seat.

Boomer bit down his lip, watching Mike harden his grip in the steering wheel, "Huh. One more song?"

The twins jumped up in sync, "Yeeeees!"

Mike gritted his teeth, hardening his grip on the steering wheel.

"So..."

"Don't even think about it."

"I didn't even say anything!" Butch retorted.

Buttercup threw him a dark glare from the passenger seat, "Shut up and keep driving."

The man sighed exasperatedly, laying back on the leather seat.

"Can we at least turn on the ra-"

"Keep. Driving "

That was the weirdest drive and drop-off of her life, but it was not like Jacquotte expected normalcy.

In part, Jacquotte wished she could have gone with Michelle to Mitch's trailer, since her uncles and dad were acting odd, and she was too tense to deal with it. She'd have to confront her parents about her devil grandpa eventually, but not today. Or tomorrow. Or next week.

Jacquotte stepped out of her room in pj's, and stood in the living room, watching her dad sat on the couch, quietly staring at his feet as Butch rummaged through the kitchen.

"You want dinner kiddo?"

The girl raised an eyebrow, "Are you cooking?"

Butch blinked, "Look, I'll throw some water on some ramen noodles and jam it in the microwave. Best I can do is make it extra spicy."

Jacquotte smiled, "Yes, please!" She said, making her way to the couch, "You two have any mob plans for tonight?"

Butch and Brick jumped up.

"What did you tell Blossom!?" Her dad asked, sitting up.

"What! Nothing!" Jacquotte rolled her eyes, sitting next to Brick, "Just wanted to spice it up in this household before I get bored."

Butch cocked his head, "Well, things have been pretty quiet since that day because-"

"Butch!" Brick barked.

"I figured." Jacquotte shrugged, "You going to take me with you next time shit goes down? Like, take your kid to work day? I always wanted to see someone die."

Brick folded his arms and crossed his feet again, "Do it yourself. Your mother is a lawyer, talk about someone that can get away with murder."

Jacquotte sighed, "She's not a criminal law-"

"She knows enough!" He cut her off, a brief flashback from their altercation in the car coming to mind, "She has always been a nerd, memorized college classes like a computer."

Jacquotte blinked, "Oh yeah. You two met when she was in college, right?"

"Well, actually..." Butch snickered, bringing out a cup out of the microwave, "They begun dating after-"

"Ew! Stop!" Jacquotte cut him off, slamming her hands on her ears, "I don't wanna hear it."

Butch walked over the couch with a cup of ramen in each hand, "Bro, you asked-"

"No, not about that! I don't want to hear about my mom's dating life!" She exclaimed as Butch handed her cup noodles, "Thanks. But yeah, it's bad enough whenever she's dating someone. It's always a random guy trying to be all fatherly. Like, no, thanks Greg. I'm good."

Butch slurped on his noodles, "You tell 'em, girl."

"...So, she's not with anyone?"

Butch's and Jacquette's immediately turned to Brick. He raised his shoulders, "What!?"

Butch snickered whilst Jacquotte groaned, "Brick, I might be a ginger but I'm not a twin. I am not doing parent trap shit."

"What!" The man retorted crossing his arms, "I'm just asking."

Butch snickered, earning a death glare from his brother and another sigh from Jacquotte.

"You know what... I'm gonna act like a normal teenager for once and stay on my phone for the rest of the night."

Brick rolled his eyes as his daughter walked to the spare bedroom with the cup of noodles in hand, closing the door behind her.

Butch snickered again, "Look at that. She's already acting like a normal teenager."

Brick glared at Butch.

The slap on the back of Butch's head was childish, and unnecessary, and never earned any results Brick wanted. But God, did it feel good.

Mike's shoulders weighed on him. The drive felt even longer when he was gritting his teeth, gripping and twisting the steering wheel with all strength he had.

When his good friend Boomer left, the kids went wild, bawling their eyes out as the first source of live music they ever experienced hopped off the car, thanking Mike with a grin before gingerly saying bye to the kids and to Bubbles, apologizing to her in case he "messed up" with the kids, and got them all too riled up. Mike's wife simply giggled, encouragingly telling their friend it was alright, that it'd been a pleasure, and that they actually missed the times the three of them would go out with their friends from school and Boomer would whip out his acoustic guitar at the end of the night.

Now, Mike was unsure when he'd been included in the conversation, especially if it was about missing Boomer's "amazing" guitar skills. He also didn't remember Bubbles being a fan of that since it meant leaving after her curfew, but well, it was a long time ago, right?

A long, long time ago.

Before college, before having a job and paying taxes, before the marriage and the kids... Apologies, maybe Mike's memory was hazy from all the adult responsibility Boomer never had to deal with.

"What a nice shower!" Bubbles giggled, emerging from the bathroom in a fog of steaming vapor, "A hot, strong shower after an amazing, invigorating day with friends..." She sighed, rubbing one of his old cotton shirts on her hair as she hummed her way to her wardrobe...

An involuntary groan escaped Mike's throat when he realized Bubbles was humming the one song Boomer played all day long.

"What?" Bubbles turned around, slipping her gown in, "Is everything ok, Mikey?"

Mike sighed, rubbing his eyes, "Can you... Is that ok if we don't sing? At least pick another song. But I would really appreciate if we had a quiet night."

Bubbles blinked, "What's wrong with my singing?"

Mike shook his head, "No, no, sweetie, not you... Just... this song. I almost went crazy with Boomer drilling it in my ear for the whole ride."

"Oh."

"Yes." Mike sighed, laying back on their bed, "That was so fucking annoying."

"Oh... so am I annoying?"

"What?" Mike looked over his wife, "What do you mean, where did you get it from?"

Bubbles stood in the middle of the room, with her arms crossed, "I actually liked it. And it entertained the kids, they were fast asleep at eight. What's so bad about it?"

Mike exhaled, "Oh, c'mon. Aren't you exhausted from all that... cheerful guitar playing and singing, and the kids would not shut up if Boomer stopped for just a second, too. Why did he even come to the gathering, anyway?"

"Mike, he's our friend, and Jacquette's uncle. It's good that he is around!"

"Good for what? All he was good for was charming all those rich cougars into liking him and his hippie shit, as long as it was palatable to their privileged millionaire taste!" Mike blurted out, "Did you see how even Princess's mom was all over him, and his stories about Bali, or India or... wherever else he has been to! Of course he's going to all these places to do his 'art' and be cool, and to get tanned and blonder... he doesn't have any responsibilities!"

Mike collapsed back on his pillow with a sigh. He felt 20 pounds lighter. In fact, he didn't even notice the awkward silence that took the room until he flickered his eyelashes, looking at Bubbles. His wife was frowning as she looked him up and down in disapproval.

"I liked Boomer's singing." She said quietly, "And his stories from India. And Bali. And New Zealand. And Thailand... They were all joyful, and colorful, and full of life." Her quiet tone became venomous, "The kids liked it, too. In case you didn't notice."

Mike slowly sat up, "Come on-"

"Oh wait!" Bubbles feigned realization, lightly tapping her forehead, "You didn't! Not only did you not notice the kids and I were happy, you don't care! Of course."

"Bubbles, no!" He shook his head, standing up, "I'm tired! That was exhausting! I had the toughest week at work, and not only that, it has been tough for a while now. What? Now I can't even enjoy a quiet Saturday with my kids?"

Bubbles pouted, folding her arms, "I had a good time."

Mike exhaled. Not only did he spend years holding back and locking his imagination away on a box in the back of his mind... while working a creative job... he now had to hold back his frustration around his own wife!?

"Well, I didn't." The blonde looked her husband and up down, making him sigh once again, "C'mon, baby." He pleaded, "Let's not argue over that. Let's just agree to disagree."

Bubbles seemed deep in thought, staring back at him. Her expression was blank, but the hint of disapproval was there, "Sure." She said, dryly, "Let's go to sleep, we are tired. It was a tiring day."

Buttercup stomped inside, "Come on, Broccoli."

The green-colored boy followed behind her, holding her thumb in his tiny hand. The brunette squeezed it before walking towards the fridge.

"You want anything to eat?" She said, not expecting an answer, "Some chips? They are on the balcony. I mean, Chips and Mountain Dew. Can't think of a better dinner for a kid."

"Thanks."

The woman jumped high in the air, to the point she was floating five feet above. Buttercup Utonium, who had lived a life of fighting crime, monsters and a period of babysitting an young Jacquotte in Blossom's old house, was scared shitless when she heard an actual answer come from behind her.

"What!?"

Broccoli blinked, "Thanks." He repeated, his voice made him sound at least a couple years younger and contrasted with his blank tone, "I'm B... Bart...olomew. I'm Ba'tholomew. But I like Bwoccoli."

And with that, staring at her blankly, the boy turned around and walked away to the spare room Buttercup had reserved for him. The woman gawked as his little short legs silently carried the boy away.

The brunette slowly floated down to the floor, gawking at the boy for a good couple of minutes.

Finally, she blinked in realization, and grimaced. Immediately, she impatiently took her phone out and punched a button in the touch screen. She puffed, hearing the phone rang a couple of times.

"Yo."

"Bro!"

The call recipient sounded puzzled, "Buttercup? How the fuck-"

"Fucking. Bartholomew." She said.

Butch went silent for a couple of seconds, "Wait, Broccoli's name!?"

"Yeah." She spat, "It's Bartholomew!"

"What the fuck!"

"I know!"

A/N: small update chapter to get the juices flowing! let me know your thoughts!